How To Talk Dirty In The Bedroom: What To Say To Turn Them On
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- Опубліковано 23 лип 2024
- Most people tend to avoid talking in the bedroom because they worry about saying something their partner doesn’t like, feeling like a poor imitation of a pornstar, or just not knowing what to say. Today we’re teaching you how to talk dirty.
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS VIDEO:
Dirty Talk 101 Guide: shop.vmtherapy.com/dirty-talk...
Free Guide: How To Start Talking About Sex With Your Partner - Even If You Never Have Before
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If we haven’t met before, hi! We’re Vanessa and Xander Marin, and we’ve been together since 2007. Vanessa’s a licensed psychotherapist with 20 years of experience in the sex therapy field. Xander’s a regular dude who’s here to show you that you don’t need a graduate degree or license to have extraordinary intimacy. We co-authored the New York Times best selling book, Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, and we have a business that helps couples keep the spark alive in long-term relationships.
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It’s really not dirty talking.. it’s normal comments about what you are feeling with the other person or would like to have or how they look in your eyes… there is nothing dirty about that.. it’s loving conversation before during and after sharing live
I agrees. I love my husband say something that turns me on and vice versa. My husband and me have a great sex life.
Then u teach me how to dirty talk then
Nah, dirty talk is exactly what we want to do to the other person and all our dirty fantasies
I feel "talking dirty" is great. The poster above said something about loving vs dirty talking. If you feel the
love, the dirty talking is an
obvious extension of that love. Have fun.
I've been so guilty that I initiated the sex talk with my boyfriend, and he was so excited and I can tell that I got to know him in another way and we were both having fun.
you guys are great keep up the good work
You both make a such wonderful couple 🥺❤️plus thanks a lot for doing this 😊
Love it! lots of great tips...
My lover had a dream about me being aggressive with him in bed and he asked me to talk dirty to him so now I’m here
I luv dirty talk . Drives my partner wild . Changes your entire relationship.
I’m a dirty girl too! Let’s unite!!! ❤😂😂
It's about being playful, sensual & assertive.......that's my motto, but looking forward to listening 🎶 to what this will bring....
This actually helped me. Thank you so much!!
We're so glad to hear that! If you want more Dirty Talk ideas check out our free guide: vmtherapy.com/top-dirty-talks-phrases!
When I think about talking "dirty", the language is so much more graphic and the words I'd use are words I wouldn't use in other contexts. That said, because of the raw nature of the word choice, I find it particularly difficult to get loose with it. I guess the best way to approach it is to talk with your partner about it ahead of time.
Why? When uou love each other...what's the point? It's demeaning.
And that's ok too given you both feel the same way about it.. Others like to shake it up change the dialogue push past the norm..find the limitless possibilities
I am very modest. Thinking of these things for the future when i get married is in itself super difficult when I try to talk about this with my besty I just choke up and turn red, and my heart starts beating super duper fast, she realized that and asked if i had issues with intimacy.... but I don't I want it I just get extremely shy thinking about it, I really don't want to creep my future partner off or disappoint him, so I went to see a psychiatrist to work on that so far i can only refer to the thing as yours .... i will definitely improve and become more daring and hopefully sexy 🤭 thank you for this video I really appreciated it ❤
I’m not new to dirty talk. I find that if I use every day words and describe what I’m feeling and where it’s making me feel that way, I get more of what I want. I use all the naughtiest words. And I walk the walk of dirty talk.
I Love A Naughty Talking Woman Are You Single
Some women like talk dirty in bedroom let guy know what they enjoy keep it going I think dirty talking to one other is great keep thing interesting and spice it up in bedroom .some make go all out how they want it even use dirty words while doingvdeed.
What are examples of your naughtiest words?
Then you should make a video
Tip: if you haven’t already discussed the fantasy, bringing it up for the first time during sex can be a huge turnoff if it’s not your interest.
How are you
This type of talk can start when foreplay begins. Could start at the breakfast table before running out the door. On the dance floor or or subway before you head off in different directions. 😊
Tell it..never too old to learn ❤
I love the video. I was literally just thinking about this and it poop up. I think the word ‘dirty’ is what puts people off. I do support changing the word, because realistically it isn’t dirty. Thumbs up if you agree we should change the phrase into something different maybe ‘intimate talking’ or butterfly language I don’t know 🤷♀️ just not labelling it negatively 😍😇
Saying talk dirty to me in the moments helps your partner to open up then we can learn more from them you think?
You did not talk loose enough you both seemed stressed l am not embarrassed to use dirty words with my partner like please lick me or hold me close and just run your hand over by butt awhile or please don't cum right now l am not ready do this some more and l especially like a masculine man to take me off the top of him and virtually pick me up and flip me over under him, ummm nothing more sexier tan being picked up and put under neath your partner and him taking charge that is the sexiest thing when he takes control for me , l had one man do that and we had been having sex awhile and got nowhere until he flipped me that's when it changed for me and my body had an immediate response l could not stop cummin. Just my thoughts on the talking dirty in the bedroom , just do it say it anything goes with me but instead of let's f... K l like let's make love. You can use the f... K word later in the making love session because it is a turn on in the bedroom altho it seems people use it as everyday lauguge now .
I love this topic bring more
Sexy talk 😊
Butterfly language sounds sweet! 😊
I loved the video & I'm gonna try it, thank you 2 for sharing your experience
Thank you for watching!
This was a great video. Thank you for making this video. I think that I am at the step where am ready to talk just hope it doesn't sound stupid. I am going to be watching all your videos and catch up.
That's awesome, Melissa! I'm so glad you liked the video. It can be so intimidating trying to start talking dirty in the bedroom, but we think it's well worth it!
Also me him know you're boundaries what you like to hear, good luck
Y’all are a lovely couple. Thanks for this video.
Thank you Lisa! Thanks for watching!
This is a amazing video. Thank You. I am with a younger man and he has said to me I am not to experienced in sex and I am so I told him don't worry I can show you what to do or tell you what to do.
Ahhhh tell me more. That's a really nice one. This is really informative, and it's nice to normalize it
Love dirty talk! And I think it’s important to be unconditionally listening to your partner when some dirty talk or names/titles are an emotional trigger. Love this!
You all lighted out on this one! The closest you came was substituting “dick” for penis! You need to be more graphic-Round #2?!? 🙏🤪🚀
Great video
Thanks For Sharing.
I like that you kept it so clean - I appreciate that!
I have never been one to talk dirty but since I met the right person whose favorite cuss word is fuck, I have really opened up -- maybe too much. LOL
Never to much, we have 25yrs of gutter talking in sex, turn on for sure 👍
I love this topic
Yes, very much so.
Thanks for your explanation? I’m not fluent in English yet. I’m trying to practice to be good at in my conversations with the strangers I haven’t known them yet. And I’m not getting to catch the words the strangers say. I’ll try more myself to get good communication with the strangers! I have no ability to discuss with your dirty talk. I have to try more to be fluent in English. Thanks for your sharing and l’ll try again if l have enough to do communication well.
This is a video about sex. DO NOT use this on strangers.
Everything on this video helped me keep in mind and repeat some words I would like to say in the bedroom and to get out of my shell, im the shy type and I will be trying all of these tips both of you explained. Thank you so much!
This is the type of information that our parents has never taught........
You're so welcome! 🥰 Be sure you're also following us on Instagram (instagram.com/vanessamarintherapy/) as we share other tips about this there as well!
Hi
I like all types of talk! Thank you! ❤
We do also, can get a little wild but we love it. Do what I say or you tell me, we love fantasies and doing them ❤
Waiting for ur Next video 📸
You guys are awesome, really great advice and interesting
Hi guys I loved watching you guys today is my first day ,I’m excited to see more videos.
Welcome!! We're so glad you've found our channel! Be sure to check out our podcast Pillow Talks, our Instagram @vanessaandxander, as well as our upcoming book, Sex Talks (available for preorder now!)
My wife and I, are together 30 years, we have always talked dirty, we can say anything to each other
We do the same, 25 yrs of saying and telling your partner what I'm going to do to her or vice versa or what We want done are a turn on for both of us and using street talk for all of it. Especially talking fantasies which we love to try out.
We have 25 yrs doing this, street talking telling the other what we want or going to do. Especially fantasies which we fulfill. To us its a major turn on.
Definitely yes!! 🔥
I love this
This video made me smile. At the end you brought up the importance of having fun with sex. For me that's one of the most important things. If we can't laugh, I'm not having a good time. Having fun tops my list.
Yes! Such a good reminder!
Are You From Ohio
@@ericfreshcorn3590 Vancouver, Canada
@@amyashlyn9293 Well I Guess We Cant Date Then Huh
@@ericfreshcorn3590😔 the down side of social media
Yes
You guys a super cute! Good advice!
So, for someone that does not use sexually explicit words, could a person start at a lower level, such as “Number two”, number one”, intercourse this and intercourse that.? How’s that?
I'm not successful in anything in the sexual realm but I feel like I would be great at this. I have a vivid imagination and think adding a little dirty talking would work wonders. Saying such things is a way of being uninhibited which is what sex is all about. Doing and saying things and losing all control in the moment.
We love talking XXX to each other, what how when we say it all. Years of having fun talk, together or separate, texting talking a couple of pics when we're not together til we are. Fantasy talk gets extremely hot 🔥. We're open minded and love to work up a good tease then ..... yes we definitely use street talk at times.
I prefer loving talking instead of dirty talking.
I can love talk you so hard, Lol.
"Talking dirty" is loving talking. They never said dirty means calling someone degrading words. They said things such as I love that, don't stop, more to the right, etc
Fun n funny but it's great
Dirty talk for us starts way before we’re making love
We talk dirty texting, on the phone and it’s all natural in bed
Teasing
Complimenting
Say what u like
Ask what they want
Whispers
Oh we love playing this way and we add a few pics while the other is away, we get very vivid and about fantasies... 🥰
Great! Thanks
It comes natural to me and it just came natural to me but I’m open to learn more as no one knows everything!!!
Thanks for being 💯🥰
Settled down.
Theses things are rewards for being a good boy!
i love it bh
I liked your tip: to text prior to sex. For example.. the request to do it later that day or next morning. And your tip about post sex: how was it? Your 3rd tip was: this is a great start to talk about sex.. and hopefully.. during sex.
We know how to do it in spanish. It looks like someone was bored and didn't say anything. What happened with the communication why yhe videos,?
Thankyou ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!
It difficult. Really difficult to talk dirty in a different language expect for English lol. I am used to read or listen to audio books in English but in my language it sounds terrible 😊
You guys discussed a very difficult topic so gracefully! Kudos to you! Lovely couple!
Pete :”)
Chat with your sweetheart about anything. We come across as intense, but we would encourage you too!
Slut from me is a turn on. Slut from anyone else is war from both of us.
It’s a top request and a top turn on!🤪
In some moments I feel like you're actually talking to each other while filming this 😉That would be fun to do and a personal inside joke 😆
Thanks for your channel and useful content! One suggestion, please consider different background music. It sounds like someone is playing a video game in the room. Very repetitive and pretty distracting and annoying.
Oh Karen 🙄
Trust is KEY to everything in LIFE.
Hard to find.
I really enjoyed your video. I do hesitate saying this and that that when im in the bedroom with my partner sometimes lol.
If you wanna get comfortable with it, we have a guide, Dirty Talk, made just for that reason! You can find it on our website, link in bio!
Team V&X
Yes!
4.52 start the dirty talking.
All of it and I “Embellish” too. I have been married and divorced twice and never spoke in the “ Vulgate” in the boudoir; however, I recently met someone who I feel that I will have no problem “ talking dirty” in the bedroom with. As a matter of fact, that’s almost all that I have been thinking about since I met him. Our conversations have no arrived to this subject yet, but when it does I imagine that it will be really HOT 🥵. I have been thinking of doing things that I have never done before and allowing him access to my body in ways that please him so that I will know what he likes and enjoys and I want to enjoy his likes with me also. Thank you, both. Sincerely, Horny Kitty 🐱. 😅 16:50
The good part about "taking dirty" or could we say..."Hey, tell me to say to you what really turns you on. My wife of 52 years had a hard time starting. I did something which may be weird but I knew she really liked watching the Rambo series and Rocky. She had a fantasy about him,. She never said she did, but if she talked to me it was..."Well he is handsome" but never in a fantasy about him. except for something she kept in her mind fearing it would hurt me or...
I decided to pull a good one on her. I placed a huge picture of Stallone I picked up for the purpose. I taped it on the ceiling over our bed I kept the lights off when we went into the bedroom. When we were starting our, um, uh encounter for the night, I flip the light on and she laughed so hard. Needless to say when I started the dirty talk, she seemed to fall right into it. It was a wonderful evening. 😋🥰
You go girl Yeah ❤
Cut to the chase …. What are they lol.
People should be dropping what they be saying and confess tht love.
Im sure theres alot to learn from everyone here.
Hell yh
Great couple; fun.
You guys must be thinking about content while having sex 😂 isn’t that so cool!? 😍
play by play in a dirty way
We do since decades
Wow 😊
Get to the good stuff
It would be nice if my wife would listen to this. The problem is she thinks she is so good that she doesn't have anything else to learn. It is always me, it is never good enough, she doesn't get turned on by me... How do you get your partner to realize that she might need to put in more effort than she thinks, or to think outside of her norm.?
I can relate TOTALLY
Have her watch things like this with you.
Both of you look up Maca. It will lead to much more desire.
Great video but I thought a gift was free not $49🤨 but thanks anyway lol
Dirty talks under bed are really nice to stimulate oneself and the partner
😇
I've never got under the bed and talked dirty but it sounds like fun. I try anything once, twice if I like it. I'm only kidding. No harm intended
I love dirty talk loooove
Me too ! ...just let the juices flow
Or helllllllllllll yeah. :)
I appreciate this video bc I had this idea dirty talk was like saying foul words or using language a sexworker might say n that likely ill not happen. LOL Just starting with talking about sex or what your doing at any given moment is not so hard. I do have one suggestion that texting each other or even leaving a msg. Idk just a thought.
Agreed
Question:
My Sweetheart asked me to send him a sexy picture of myself.
What is your definition of "sexy picture?" We are both very shy so...
It really depends. Any picture1 can be made sexy if you have a certain look in your eye or feel about you. When you *feel* beautiful and sexy. Or even a strike a sexy pose whilst wearing flattering clothes - it can be a "sexy picture".
I don’t talk during sex but my boyfriend always knows exactly what to say ❤
i can see your boyfiend missille inside you
What are some things I can say im not good at coming up with anything can you guys help???
there is no script for that.. just ask your partner. grab her by the hair firmly. just be careful not to hurt her. and slap her butt a few times. and whatever you do don't last 2 mts . that is worse and real turn off for women make her come as much as she wants. then is your turn
I can answer your question however I need to know are your partners male or female because some of the answers will deal with the anatomy?
@@theprousteffect9717 your response is perfect.👍
You guys obviously didn't grow up in Brooklyn.
Dont stop isnt turning on, why would he stop anyway if it feels good
“don’t stop!” IS a turn on while you’re fucking. it let’s your partner kno that you like what they’re doing or the specific position instead of just moaning or saying yes
Can’t find the link😢
No worries! Here is the link to Dirty Talk 101 guide: shop.vmtherapy.com/dt-101/?ref=yt-howtotalkdirty& ❤️
I’m a dirty girl! 😂😂 love to talk dirty!!! 🔥🔥. I do ask about some words as it could be offensive!!!
Love your phrase "sex positive feminist" and would love to see more material on how to separate the girl power part of myself from the part that wants hot dirty sex 🔥
You don’t need to separate it! You can love it and admit it bravely, as a feminist.
Feminism is a big lie. Embrace your feminine side and find a man that you submit to!
I do.
Ya'll don't have to do all that. It is all about how long he can last. Take from her, at 30 she needs one hour and it grows eery decade another one until it reaches 3
Dirty talk with her to prep her for you know.
i always say to her that i alones cannot satisfy her to be a mother of 2 i need more help she tells me that i not respect her after sex when we talk
It’s the hardest thing for me to do.. I am so shy but he does say dirty things .. but I can’t 😂….
Sorry to be a bah humbug but for me, being able to get into the bedroom would be a start, let alone talking dirty when I get there.
Same 😐
I gave up after 2 minutes, all they were saying is fluff
I'm in the most sexless relationship you can imagine. I miss this so much, and am so lonely.
We have some podcast episodes on Dead Bedrooms! vmtherapy.com/podcast/
-Team V&X
OH NO
I definitely just said Hellll no 😂
Bedroom are flirty.not dirty.only hotty figures
Hey, this is pure genius! Hats off to you! 👏 🍆🍆🍆💦💦💦