& Many women get used for sex. Dating is brutal for many but I dont believe most women out there are going on dates with you for free food. Odds are they went on the date and you were doing it for em. If the opposite is true and they were there for free meals, what are you doing to attract that? (You also can just take em out to coffee) Cuz most women are not going on dates for free food. If you think that, you just lying to yourself to make them seem evil to justify your circumstances rather than being accountable. Either you aint selecting well or you arent gaining their interest. At the end of the day, you're in control.
It's because of competition and females having to many options on online dating and it's not fair for us men, average men are no different from average women but yet they get more options and we don't and that's the sad part, that's why women deserve less 🤷🏽♂️
What I find amazing about this is that people are surprised by this study. Every ordinary guy who is told that a majority of women are after a minority of men will respond by saying "Yeah, I know."
Facts. It makes sense, but some older men do get it bad too. A lot of those women don't bring nothing to the table, yet they're fully aware of what they've gotten. Meanwhile, the men are either aware of taking care of them or they're being controlled. Which, unfortunately, it's more so the latter than it is the former
I relate to what Aba is saying. I remember going to vacation by myself, having a great time by the way, discovering local meals, beautiful landscapes... and then thinking to myself : " I wish I could share those moments with someone ". I'm good right now by myself, but I could be much better with someone who's dear to me.
@@cheeseburgersuperior1874 of course life can always be good if you're content and do the most with what you already have, but there's nothing wrong with wanting to make a change and seeking for something that I believe is better for me. and in that exact moment , even tho I was happy and content , I felt that those moments could've been more memorable if I shared them with someone. I don't understand what kind of point you're trying to make, how real can I be ?
@@arumenu lol. you can seek what ever you want but at least be realistic and accept and expect when reality BITES back on something you already had it's good.
I've always been single, gave up on trying a while ago when I got my dog on my birthday. He was a sweet dog, and I had something besides playing video games to keep myself from being crazy. I had to put him down since someone shot him in the face. I really haven't grieved much, I cry as I write this now; because I went back to gaming as a crutch. I'm trying to make friends though, so there's that, still, I miss my dog a lot and it's a sore subject.
Start lifting. No you won’t become a chad, and for most people it’s a cope and they tel themselves it makes them better when it doesn’t. But I find it gives me something to look forward to do alone. Also makes you look desirable I guess, but probably not to the type of woman you’d want.
Talkin about it is hard, but it's about baby steps y'know? Typing online is more of a jump than you've made so far! There's always someone around who's willing to listen. Hang in there bud, you got a bit of a climb but you'll make it with that work ethic.
You can still make friends in gaming bro. Look up gaming groups that are near you so you can also have a friend to hang out with. Solo players are more common than you think. Other people need communities too man.
I’m a 26 year old man that separated from the military and now i use my benefits to be a university student. I am quite literally in a place in my life that the greater majority of women are not interested in. To old for the girls around me, not successful enough for the girls my age, and to young to be raising someone else’s mistake. It is what it is.
Damn this summed up my thoughts on being a man in my 20s trying to date in this decade. I really would like to know what caused this generation to have delusional expectations for life and love.
It's crazy but a woman CAN feel that way with a man too. Geez every man on here make it seem like it's a woman issue. No accountability in any comment but I rather feel a connection than to settle. Using men for a meal is dumb and sound like some broke issh. I literally take myself out. I'm only interested if I'm into you. I don't need a cheap meal and awkward conversation.
@@phenitagomes1292 Amazing how you managed to find something that had nothing to do with you and tried to make it all about you. It's takes an exceptional ego to insert yourself into a situation and act as if anyone would even care.
What Aba said about the importance of intimacy and connection is no joke. As someone who is 29 and never had a serious relationship, I can tell you that he is absolutely spot on. Being physically starved is undeniably missing out on a huge part of the human experience and all it's benefits. What's worse is that on top not getting the benefits, it instead causes stress and other problems exponentially. Every day, every month, every year that goes by without even so much as a hug will leave you feeling completely worthless and like nothing matters, like you're not even human. You cannot rationalize those feelings away either, even if you KNOW they aren't true. The fact is that nothing can replace the real thing. Sure you can pay for it, and you will temporarily get a glimpse of what feeling normal is like, but unless you keep paying that feeling will fade and eventually make you feel worse about yourself bc now you know what you could feel like when you're not neglecting your body. The only people who enjoy being single have already experienced love enough to compare what they prefer. They really have no idea what it's like to be deprived, but they will tell you that you don't need it. This is like telling someone who's never ridden a bike that bikes aren't worth learning to ride, usually while they continue to ride one in front of you...
As a 55 year old man divorced after a 27 year marriage and who has had a total 3 women in his life, being single is the most rewarding part of life EVER. And no I do not need to be unhappy. I have more money in my pocket and more time for myself. I have traveled the world...literally (66 countries) and have met many wonderful people that I shared moments with. People need to stop confusing being single with being alone...Happiness is within and there is not a single human being on this planet that will make you happy for all of your life. Actually most will make you unhappy and frustrated. So once again, single do not equate alone. It equates free and surrounded by people that you let into your moments as you discover life and the world. And trying marrying someone, and realize that you will be even more physically starved and stuck in a relationship where your needs do not count.
@@skonstas4683I think you’re right. I’m 27 but I’m not like you I’m untraveled I don’t have have good people skills yet but I’m slowly trying things out. I really want to date but I’m seeing how much of a mess the dating scene is. It also doesn’t help that the longer I stay out of the game the less desirable one becomes making the dating market even smaller. Id really like to be with someone though it just feels like I’m missing out on a huge part of myself.
@@skonstas4683 I understand where you're coming from, however, what you're saying is not applicable to someone in my position. I hate to call you out like this, but you're doing exactly what I described in my comment in the bike scenario... That advice only works for people who have had realtionships enough already to know what it's like and what they prefer. Ever hear the saying "It's better to regret something you have done, than something you haven't"? That rings very true when it comes to love. And that last part about still being physically starved in a realtionship, first of all, I can't be even more physically starved bc I'm already getting absolutely nothing, and all that means is that I chose the wrong girl. Trust me when I tell you that I will make sure whoever I start a relationship with will have a similar sex drive. If she refuses on a consistent basis for no observable reason, and still denies me after I explain my concerns, then I'm ending it right then and there. At that point, she's either not compatible with me, or she's cheating... If a woman truly loves you she wouldn't make you suffer like that.
@Caleb's Unremarkable UA-cam Channel Yeah man, that's exactly right. Our divine purpose is to be with others and help each other achieve what we cannot accomplish by ourselves. I may not be religious, but there is a reason why people have held those beliefs for millenia. It is what what we are created for, and our biological needs cannot be ignored. It might sound like I'm focused a bit more on the physical side, but there is a fine line between having s*x and making love... I couldn't care less about the former. If that were enough, I wouldn't be here talking about this. What it really comes down to is being able to know that the person you're making love to is someone who accepts you for who you are and treasures you the same way you do for them. It's a complete feeling of bliss, and more importantly a comforting reassurance that allows you to truly relax. Like it or not, we need that validation. A good example of this is a scene at the beginning of "Death on the Nile" where a woman explains how love is when someone's flaws or scars are like freckles in their eyes, and it makes their good qualities shine that much brighter. This is the connection we all yearn for, and no amount of money or traveling or anything else can replace that. If you believe that, well, you're in "De Nile" 😅
I’m in the army, when I was single I could not really find a date my age but when I went on rotation to Poland. All the women were open to talking, dating, hanging out and most of them were honest, respectful and family oriented. Moral of the story is sometimes it’s really is where you are at
I’m polish and Puerto Rican. I agree. I went to Poland and notice that it’s easier to get a wife. In the states and in my Latino side, not a fan of it. Poland is most safest country globally, so they must be doing something right.
Yes cas polish woman are not rotted to the core with propaganda and feminism, plus out there woman get shamed for high body count, if u don't cook or clean ur also a failure so from young age they are encouraged to cook it's not operation like its in the west
I'm single late forties and too checked out to care about finding someone else. Still trying to get my head out the other side of the divorce nightmare. The last 2 and a half years have quite frankly been savagely depressing. I got the feeling the doctors didnt care. Most older men know they have to just cope and get through it. I can feel myself slowly getting more control of my life every day. I am not anymore near as happy as I used to be, and by the same respect, not as suicidal as I have been. I can say with 100% honesty that without my family I would not be here. Family is everything, and I simply could never do that to them.
The fact that you slowly feel yourself getting more control every day is huge! That’s the worst part, waiting for things to START to decrease.. especially when it feels like that will never come. You’ve got the ball rolling now.. Things will be shitty, but less and less shitty over time. Keep going, man!
You are an example of the excellent point that family isn't just the family you make with someone you marry. It's also the family you come from. Not everyone is at odds with their birth families.
Being chronically online has hurt interaction skills across the board and the group think that comes from being online is destroying young people’s morale. Men saying all women are users and giving up on dating and women claiming all men are cheaters will not take us anywhere productive. Whatever happened to looking at others as individuals and judging them based on their actions and not stereotypes. It’s tiring seeing so many generalizing the other sex instead of looking internally to break patterns and find a positive social circle.
If you're trying to date on dating apps, both sides are entirely right, it's all cheaters and users with lottery chances of finding someone decent, and like you said, it stems from being chronically online and losing that ability to see individuality now
This is how it should be, if people are socially developed and healthy. I have a suspicion that many young people raised mostly on the internet just don't have good social skills and have very unhealthy attitudes towards relationships. Generalizations are harmful, and it really is no easy to say it nicely but some people are straight up dumb. They don't know how to navigate the world and direct their frustration and anger towards the opposite sex rather than take accountability and self reflect on their own shortcomings.
Yes, everything about this 🙌🏾. Social media has shaped how people view others and the world so much, and I see so much pessimistic dating content online all the time! No matter if the audience is men or women.
I’ll be honest…it’s so hard not to be jaded. Overlooked in my 20s…now in my early 30s I have soooo many options but the issue I have is I feel I’m the SAME person…& I’m more desirable to the SAME women who overlooked me. Same personality but I’m definitely more stable but it would’ve been nice to grow into my success WITH a woman. But no, they want me now that I have it and it sucks because it’s strictly for the resources. They always “liked” my personality but they wanted the “lifestyle” even more…and they bet on guys they came up empty with…and I refuse to give them “lifestyle” now
I appreciate you for sharing this bcuz I'm 24, dreads, good looking and I'm going threw alot when it comes to finding a real genuine woman who's into you
One point I'd like to add is that I think a lot of people have seem to forgotten that having a fulfilling and loving relationship is generally not something you stumble across. Certainly not something you could derive from using someones material status as a checkmark. A true relationship that is based on mutual trust, understanding and support is something you really, really... really have to build from the ground up. You have to be able to look at someone and say, you are by far not perfect. But I see a seed that could grow into a tree. And I'm willing to come back to it, even when its storming like hell, to care for it and water it. And moreover you have to be able to look at yourself in the exact same way. And commit to becoming a better person for the other. That's not to say you should be careless with who you date. I just feel like people no longer dig for the diamond, and cut the gem. But rather, they look for the finished ring on lying around, throw down the shovel when they can't find it.
Beautifully said.💛 I love the metaphor of the seed growing into the tree, in seeing that potential in others and helping them for their own sake. That's indeed what a true loving relationship is. I also love the diamond analogy, it's very on point. I had the same impression, but couldn't have formulated it that well.👍
And what if your diamond is a Herkimer diamond and you spent your whole adulthood thinking it’s real but then it throws on a red wig and walks away because of the patriarchy? It starts with our kids not who we find
True but the illusion of infinite choice that dating apps provide disincentivize people from investing in someone with potential. The general disposition is that investing time and energy into cultivating a stranger into an ideal partner isn’t worth the risk when the already ideal person could be just a swipe away.
The older guy gets the younger girl dynamic is something we've been experiencing since we were teenagers. The girls in your class when you just started high school didn't want you because they wanted the seniors. Once you became a senior, now you get all the girls EXCEPT the ones in your class because they want the college guys and the guys who are working. Same thing in college.
That dynamic is what made me say fuck it with dating. I'm never going to beat out all the other 4 billion men on this planet in every single way, so no matter the woman I'm with, she's gonna leave the second she finds a dude she likes slightly more, and I'm not interested in engaging in likeability contests with men every day for the rest of my life. Hypergamy is nothing new, but what we need is a new way to respond to hypergamous women. At this point, 90% of us should abandon them. If they only care about 10% of men, make those men their only option. You get those or you get nothing. Maybe women would have basic respect then.
@@Bonesawisready926 I am a loner by nature but when women try to mess with me, I just consume then leave when I am done. In other words pump and dump. If she looks trustworthy I will act different of course but most aren't tbh. So protect yourself at all time
My best friend is voluntarily celibate. He is a successful guy, with a medical degree, drives 2 nice cars, lives in a nice house in a nice part of the city. He takes care of his parents and his sister's child. He's told me that every single woman he has been on a date with since college, has made financial demands of him on their first or second date. He has simply said fuck that.
He should be getting dates because of all of that, but realistically he's getting dates because he has a high paying job and 2 nice cars alone Being a rich guy is similar to being a woman in general, you never know who wants you for you vs what you can give them
He sounds very socially unaware. Cool that he didn't give up on studying during medical school, but a few bad dates and he decides to give up on the entire female population? Does that make any sense? At least he is book smart I guess.
@Caleb's Unremarkable UA-cam Channel I've thought about roping for a long time and I will always choose that versus falling for some delusional fairytale with zero evidence to support it. Might as well base my life on a Harry Potter book.
@@oceandrop7666 I swear to god dude everybody think that religion is fake until life gets really dark and they start to pray and say they are true believer
@@oceandrop7666 ya and living your life by the belief that everything in life is meaningless and your just a bag of meat walking on a spinning ball is gonna make someone feel a lot better lol
I met my first GF in (UK) college at 17. We married at 25, been together my whole adult life and I spend my energy building a life and a home together instead of on dating drama. Holy shit am I a lucky man. I better never forget it.
Hey man... I don't even know you but believe me you've found a gem... treat her right... I've been trying to find someone like that since I was 18... that'll want to build by my side... I'm 23... didn't lose faith totally yet but it decreased through the years... God bless you two man... stay safe
I found a girl at 24 and she's amazing. It's hell trying to fix yourself up for someone who's too good for you. But i wouldn't pick anyone else to do it for.
I'm 29 and am part of the 63% stats. Never been on a date nor been in a relationship. I've been focusing on self-improvement for a while but losing hope of ever experiencing relationships. I'm working on accepting being forever alone at this point but some days are so hard to bare...
@@evanweathersby3126 Not that I know of. It's mainly the lack of confidence and feeling unworthy and unattractive enough. I'm also not rich yet, so I am not highly valuable. I've never asked any woman out for the fear of being a creep or them feeling disgusted towards me. I am trying to improve my net worth and hitting the gym 7 days a week. Hopefully, it will keep me occupied for most of my life.
32 same boat, shit sucks, try not to be such an introvert like I am. Got a job, house, cars, I'm not in bad shape, just don't have any social skills at this point or knowledge of where to go or what to do.
I absolutely love the comment section here, this is healthy . Men can’t vent and express their grievances on social issues that primarily impact them , without being called toxic or being “one upped” by woman. It’s important for men to have these spaces to share their thoughts without being shunned and simultaneously without blaming women. Thank you Aba & Preach for creating such a space through making videos highlighting these issues.
I find when men express their feelings, a few ugly things happen: _"Stop making it about YOU! You got a problem? Women got a dozen more!"_ _"Anger? That scares me, keep it to yourself."_ _"That may be a valid problem, but it's other men causing it, so who cares?"_ _"Oh you're just mad that you don't run the world anymore."_ I know most women are genuinely fascinated to hear what goes on in men's heads. But when men speak up, a very bitter, very hurtful minority of women pipe up, and see that opening in men's armor as a place to thrust daggers. If women wanna help, they need to be the ones to shame these bullies, and recognize they're the tyrannical minority that have kosherized men into silence. We can't do it. We don't get to accuse people of being hurtful. Every complaint is just translated into, "I'm horny, lonely, and unable to put a lid on my juvenile angst." Meanwhile it's just men saying things like, "I don't want to risk having kids if I'm just going to have them taken away and replaced with debt and alienation." That's not angst, that's a bonafide existential nightmare.
I used to play tough, and act like I didn't need a woman. After I lost my big bro, that depression hit me like a baseball bat. I just wanted a hug, a shoulder to cry on. My pets keep me accountable and add purpose to my life. It's not much, but you need little things to keep you going sometimes. Still, the idea of trying to date again just gives me anxiety.
no need to put yourself in such situations if it makes you anxious and not feel ok, its better to keep away from it relying on your pets is good and also making close friends no need to do dating
I'm a 25-year-old black man and the dating market made me realize that the rat race in America is a joke. I took a leap of faith and now I have a remote web development business in the Philippines. Moving here was honestly the best decision I've ever made for my mental health. The dating dynamic is healthy, people here have a heart of gold, and black men have a positive history in Filipino culture dating back centuries. I'm totally at peace now and can't see myself ever going back to the west. Don't be so hard on yourself, it's not you, it's the current state of western culture. Treat yourself to a coconut and enjoy the madness from the safety of a VPN.
Congratulations man! That's awesome! Good to figure out now then later fr. Also, explorering places outside the US broadens your mind so much too and its fun and not as nerve racking at least for me.
As a Dad from Switzerland I too am astounded by the downfall and degradation of American culture as a whole. I've been seeing these type of headlines every week for a decade now. My 2 sons have been in long term relationships but there seem to be a ripple effect as they report more and more of their friends have been experiencing break-ups and short-term relationships. Times will be rough. Stay strong friends
The females aren't different, the culture is, the government and social systems are coming to save them like in the 1st world countries. Don't get it twisted, they're the same creatures _anywhere_ you go in the world, they only because because the culture demands and disincentivizes their bad behavior
Homeowners/Old people that own houses, litterally manipulate the market and force house prices to skyrocket in the first place. We should be building a shit ton of apartments and condos. But instead you get these old fucks manipulating zoning laws to stop that shit from happening
“I earn 50,000 Dollars per month after paying taxes and rent” is the most powerful pickup line known to humanity. Thorough scientific research is still being conducted on why this never fails for some reason. What a mystery. Only the most talented and clever wordsmiths can come up with a sentence as unique and effective as that.
I will be a multiple homeowner (they divorced and went separate ways a long time ago) when my parents die. That is the only way I will ever be a homeowner 😂
I'm certainly part of the 63%. I'm 38 and at this point in my life, I'm just sick of the ambiguity. I'm afraid of misinterpretation of intentions. The rejection is certainly part of it, but so is receiving mixed signals and find it's much easier and saves a lot of heartache to not try anymore.
At 38 I’m sure that you have come across a lot of women in your life. I don’t think rejection should still be one of your fears. Get rejected, get misinterpreted, just keep putting yourself out there. There are plenty of women out there, eventually you’ll get one.
What are you waiting for??? Death? Go talk to some girls at a bar or something. Or just find a group of guys who you like, and go hang out in public, see how you become a different person with women.
Aba is speaking the truth. I'm close to 40 and single. Live alone. Good paying tech job, no debt , thousands in savings. I'm in a stable cope mode. I have a good family and friend circle, but I'm not deluded. Being alone is unnatural. I can't complain, as being rich and single has benefits too, but I'm not going to sell a mgtow dream. Dating really is damn near impossible. There aint really much I can do but just cope.
if you havent been able to secure a stable relationship and youre 40 thats a you problem. but i dont know you maybe you had long term relationships in the past that fell apart.
“No man is a failure who has friends.” Always been one of my favorite movie quotes, it captures just how important relationships to other people truly are, like Aba said.
Only way I’m hanging out with you in my 30s is if we’re making money together or scheming how to join up and make money, or to trade knowledge. Anything else don’t have time for.
As a 33 year old man, my life is so much different than when I was 18. No one cares about young men, most females pay us no mind and if they do, it’s generally not positive. Society doesn’t care about the struggles young men face. All I can say is it gets better, as a guy our life is backloaded. If you focus on your craft, your interests and your health. Including mental health, having a friend group and string family ties goes such a long way.
If course I don’t care about you because you don’t see me as human but just an object. Maybe don’t refer to women as “females” and then maybe I’ll consider caring about the problems that males cause everyone to suffer from themselves.
the main reason im hesitant to pursue dating now is because i feel like so many younger people my age don't know what a healthy relationship looks like and for me almost every single time i pursued something with a girl it ended in heartache. what's the point of trying to build something with someone just to get ghosted or replaced? ive just got out of my first relationship with someone who made me actually believe in love and made me a lot more hopeful, but towards the end they lied about dating another guy in the background and got more and more cold until i found out what was happening, then i was just dropped like a cold rag. i would like to believe in love, but often i feel as if i wont find it.
It's her loss. You deserve so MUCH BETTER. I just turn 24 a month ago and I have been shooting my shot🏀 more than I am count throughout my college career. I asked many women out both in college and outside of college in nearby cities including Boston. I am still recovering from a brutal heartbreak rejection from the woman of my dreams who used me and we never even gone out on a real date. Depression is the real deal 🤣. But yeah I would say, staying consistent at the gym and eat clean balanced foods daily will work wonders over time. A lot of women who rejected me, it's their loss. I hope you are doing well bro. I wish your amazing dreams will come true. I believe it.
As a 22 year old who's almost done with college. As much as I want to be in the dating pool, I got an education, career and job to pursue and a woman I'm dating is not necessarily gonna help me get their. I'm not gonna waste my time chasing something I'm not gonna catch. As of now I'm doing what you guys were saying before, keep doing what I'm doing and eventually I'll find someone along the way who I can love and appreciate and vice versa.
Just live your life and the women who really like you for you will come. Once you feel confident enough to pursue something later go ahead and do that.
I'm a 20 year old male currently in college. My social life in school before now was pretty much rock bottom, and I could never even begin to gather the confidence to give this dating scene a shot. I can only work on building myself up and hope I happen to meet someone I'm compatible with, but goddamn does it feel like the whole system is against me sometimes.
@Erik W no its not! Stop perpetuating this bullshit and encouraging kids to go into debt. The MOST IMPORTANT THING IN COLLEGE IS TO NETWORK AND INTERN! There is literally no other reason to attend a college other than to gain a letter of recommendation. I have 2 degrees, and they are just pieces of paper that mean almost nothing. Yes I know how to do what I went to do, however half of what I know how to do I learned from available information on the internet. Seriously if you are not in engineering, medicine, or law there is NO point in college other than a letter of recommendation. Thats it! Nothing more!
The wife and I will be celebrating 21 years this summer. I can say having someone who has been there through the good and the bad is an indescribable feeling.
I might consider a relationship with AGI if I am alive then. For now I have to pretend with Chat GPT. At least that one knows proper code. You can even get it to talk dirty to you. I had a long discussion about the definition of filth the other day. Very illuminating.
Very insightful message, I am 19, and it has been a long time fighting loneliness. In my experience, I do spend the majority of my time alone. I do try to be with other people, meet strangers, share ideas, and I´ve had fond memories that shape how I see currently the world for the better. One thing I lack is intimacy. Sometimes, in those moments that you are by only yourself get tough, it is a burden you have to carry, and I am certain that it carries its tolls in my psyche. I am grateful for the people that are by my side, and I was aware that some people are in the same situation. If I can tell you something to remember is, to not lose hope. There are ups and downs, but life has incredible experiences to offer. One key component to meet incredible people is to become one. Apologies if there are some grammar mistakes, english isn´t my primary language Good luck on your journey.
You're 19. You've been in the dating market for only a few years, and most people don't even have serious relationships until their 20s. You're not lacking intimacy, you're just young. Don't give up before the race has even started bro.
lmao you're 19. How long could it possibly have been? If you feel like it's taking a toll on you, that probably has more to do with social pressure and the like.
Uh you’re 19. Still a teenager. A lot of people don’t even start dating until after high school so you’re at most a year behind some of your peers. You really can’t have been fighting loneliness all that long, unless we’re talking in general, not in a romantic sense. You’re at a perfectly normal age to be single or not even dating yet. What we’re taking about here is people in their mid to late 20s and 30s not finding relationships after years upon years of being single. It’s not really the same, no offense. You have plenty of time.
@@ImortalZeus13 It used to be normal to have dated by high school. He's not weird for feeling this way, society is weird for depriving him in a way none of his ancestors would have had to feel. The way we've structured things has put relationships at risk, and he's not at fault for acknowledging it.
It’s so annoying when women say “we are not your emotional support!” As if it’s hard to just LISTEN to us when we voice our feelings. Then they complain that men don’t share their feelings. Lmao Modern day women are a joke man. And I blame all the woman influencers on these social medias. More so on tik tok. Brainwashing other young women to be in that toxic cycle.
It's because of competition and females having to many options on online dating and it's not fair for us men, average men are no different from average women but yet they get more options and we don't and that's the sad part 🤷🏽♂️
Agreed, I think a commentary youtuber provides good content when it pushes you to think and therefore agree or disagree with them on your own free will. Sometimes I disagree with Aba's takes, sometimes I agree. I think that's the best point of their channel.
Why more men self-report being single than women? -The way a lot of women define being single is different than the way most men define being single -Some women are sleeping with the same playboy (FB groups : "are we dating the same guy?") and mistake their situationship for a real relationship -Admittedly there might be more bi women than men? -A lot of younger women are dating older men
I wouldn't be shocked to find out if women had more lesbians/bisexuals. be it real or fake. I hear a lot of women self report, that when they go off the pill, suddenly their attraction for men shows up out of nowhere or suddenly becomes far stronger. and considering how many women are on the pill, and how that fucks up your hormones, I could imagine there are slightly more bisexual/lesbian women than gay/bi men.
I think one of the things that Aba said rings true, I’m 22 and have not had a single relationship. Adding on to that I’m already behind due to unforeseeable circumstances, I don’t have a car and much less a place of my own. Who’s going to be confident about that? Who’s going to want to date that? So it sucks knowing that I gotta wait a few more years to even have a CHANCE at trying to date someone. I’m gonna try my best not to lose my mind at least. Thanks for the content guys.
Nah. You're 22 lol. Who tf has their shit together at 22? Listen to men like Jordan Peterson and improve yourself more, get along with women more and you'll see. One will stick. 👌🏿 I've only ever dated guys who don't have their own places. I'm a 26 year old woman.❤
Listen to Castillo. Some Waste men get mad gyal haha. But seriously, I moved back home after a breakup so I don’t have my own place at 28 and only earn middle class wages. I have had nooooo problem getting girls. Don’t let ur current circumstance hold u back. Will the quality maybe get better when u up ur game money wise…… maybe. But if u can’t get a single date now at 22 any girl u get later is likely in it for ur credit card. So be careful with that.
@@zizi5721 people used to be able to to have their shit together at 22. Us in the US not being financially stable until our 30s is a decades-recent modern invention, not a mainstay of a functional culture.
The reason women might handle being single better is because for most women they usually doing the rejecting so being single for them is a choice but for men when you have to keep putting yourself out there and keep getting rejected that shit brutal. A big lesson i learnt from young is never take rejection personally and work on being the best version of myself, that includes being in good shape, having hobbies, being an interesting conversationalist, and treating women like any other human being and not a special unicorn to be afraid of.
Also, women tend to build lasting friendships with other women and will stick close to their grandmothers mother, aunts, sister and female family members. I met some women who have their own mom commune after a divorce, spousal death or just bring a single parent. They all took turns taking care of each others kids and split helping with homework based on academic strengths. A few bought homes togethers and properties for passive income. It was amazing how well they supported each other. There were even two women who were just single and had no interest dating often. Statistically, women seek therapy more than men and discuss their issues. I think everyone is just tired too. Maslow’s Hierarchy is at play too.
I’m turning 30 in may and realized after my last relationship and losing my mom that I need to live life for moments with my family. I moved with my dad and brother in Florida and have been so much happier.
Yeah if you’re blessed with a family, that relationship runs deeper than anything. And my regrets generally stem from not spending more time with them and doing more things.
Aba was spot on with the statement of people arguing from the worse standards possible. How can you position yourself for something good when all you're anticipating is something bad? The drive to create and find genuinely positive interactions with yourself and others is plummeting. I commend anyone who's fighting this fall we're in now.
If you stop fighting to live a lonely life it’s gonna kill you that’s why we keep trying. If we stop looking then u know what happens after that… I mean cuz girls majority of the time don’t look for the guy (that should change
Fight for wahmen, you guys. You can pay spousal support to at least 5 californian live-in ex girlfriends if you do 2x 8hour shifts monday through friday and a part time hustle on weekends. Worst case scenario you get falsely accused and the state pays for you food/health/lodging. 👌🏻😉👍🏻
It's not that you're rooting for the bad things. it's just pragmatic optimism. But when your optimism rarely gets rewarded (no mater what you're doing/modifying) knowing that the girl you see and want you will never get, you have to now plan ahead for a woman 7 years younger (if youre 21 you want a chick 14...then wait 4 hours..now youre 25, hoping she doesnt die or get traumatized beyond recognition, combating predatory grooming outrage) and the juice isn't worth the squeeze, then you have to make a decision is the "benefit worth the cost?"
Or maybe optimisim has nothing to do with it when relationships are killed before they start. Men are single because women already no longer date 50% of men
@@moonknight4053 What If you just prefer to be single like me. I'd rather be single than be a relationship, i dont care what people say. Not everyone needs to be in a relationship to be happy.
My cousin who is 27 year old woman, is getting married to a 32 year old man. My mom was 27 married to my dad who was 30. Its not a crazy age difference. Women prioritize stability first, most normal women aren’t looking for lavish either, they want their partner to have a job, some ambition, so they can plan for a house and kids.
Aba is speaking mad truth here. I almost "self deleted" and it was because of my divorce. She took everything from me, especially my kids. I have been wandering about but never really living since. I need to heal but it's hard when you have no one. I work constantly yet never make enough. I really have no one. I clung to a terrible woman that bad mouths me constantly, just to get some sort of fellowship umongst another. When I was married, people would ask, "how are you?" I would always say, "stressed but highly blessed". Now my answer is, "surviving".
I was there for a while. Now I'm not. I'm still single and intend to remain single, but the loneliness is gone. I didn't think it would ever go away but it did. Now I'm turning down dates with girls I had feelings for for years. I have zero desire to surrender this peace that's taken me so long to find. It's better than any happiness I've experienced. I hope you find it too.
As a man, there are so many boxes that need to be ticked to get women's attention and that's why older men tend to have more to offer and why women tend to flock around hyper successful men. Do I feel sad?. Yes. Do I feel lonely?. Yes but here's the thing. It made me question "what is love?". Now at the age of 32 I realised that in today's world, love is discrimination. I'm not going to shit on women alone because I know men who have their own version of discrimination based on weight, beauty, bodycounts and etc but again the same question. "What is love then?" when everything is under the disguise of "preferences" and "standards". Is "love" supposed to be this shallow? I might sound dumb and naive but I'd rather stay miserably single until I meet a woman who knows this and sees love in a broader way like I do because if not then what's "love"?.
Man with women it’s always been about resources and status. Nothing has really changed except their delusional expectations and them destroying themselves. Men and women love differently. A man wants a loyal woman he can take care of. A woman wants a man’s resources, status and protection.
Sadly that's what love has always been. People mainly tend to like someone for a specific reason, whether it's looks, personality, talent, resources, or a combination of these. The term 'love' is then slapped on afterwards. Sometimes people do fall in love with who someone is rather than what someone is, but even in such cases love is rarely abstract. I'm really curious to know what your 'broader' definition of love is, as I doubt anyone can love without having a minimum set of standards/preferences
It’s a double edged sword man trust me. I just got into shape. I still live at home tho. I make okay money but the idea of roommates disgusts me lol. But honestly dating when I was skinny and slightly addicted to drugs/partying was much easier to navigate. Back then they actually liked what I was dishing out. Now it doesn’t matter what I dish out. Which makes it all feel mad shallow. And that shit ain’t worth it.
I can attest to it, had a friend who was a orphan, in a national team for a sport, he was doing well at university, had lots of friends and then found out that his gf cheated on him and when confronting her she broke up with him, he jumped in front of a train that same night. You can have everything, but unless you have companionship with someone you love, be it family or a partner it's all not really worth much.
it’s so hard to find someone these days. especially when i’m doing not financially well and trying to find myself. however i think young women also have a lot of problems these days that a lot of young men (including me) just don’t want to deal with.
And it's good for you to be single because if you don't want to deal with the responsibilities of a relationship the best is to stay single. Relationships have benefits but also responsibilities and some people just want the benefits without the responsibilities.
@@abdulkarim56239 and that's alright, No women wants to deal with baggage. Nobody wants to deal with baggage but that unrealistic we all have baggage whether is from parents, relationship, work etc. My baggage is my responsibility and my boyfriend's baggage is his, but that doesn't mean we don't support each other to be better. If you guys want people without baggage then don't have baggage yourself.
@@paolalagos2634 i’m not really talking about the responsibilities. a lot of women have different values or beliefs that i don’t align with. an example would be like she does polygamy, shows off her body (in a sexual manner) on social media, etc.. now granted that’s not all women and i understand that some people are okay with that, but that is just stuff that i’m not okay with and don’t find attractive at all
Both of y'all hit some major key points and I concur. As a young single guy, I've learned to drop my ego and hold myself accountable at all times. I always look at what I did wrong first. I'm not giving up on it though; I need the experience in relationships in order to get to know women better. My confidence is growing as I progress, but as you said it's hard to be confident when you don't have anything to point to at that young age. I'm not losing hope, in the face of a mountain I'm still climbing.
@@christiansnaturestudio6599 I once got told playing keyboard was the most effeminate and unattractive instrument by a woman so even being a musician isn’t a guarantee of anything lol 😂
I’ve been ALONE my entire life. When I was young (30 below), it was a struggle cause I felt like I needed to be with ppl. Now I’ve found so much comfort by myself that I don’t feel anything towards wanting to be with others. I’ve started to resent being around ppl cause of the self absorbed/selfish/grandiose nature of ppl. It’s like everyone feels they are the main character of a story no one gives a F*€k about.
I got a girlfriend just as I was going through that transition. It’s got weird effects. How women treat me today doesn’t even resemble how they treated me in my 20s but I don’t feel any different inside.
I’ve never been in a relationship and probably never will be. Not so much because I’ve checked out, but because I was checked out of it. I’m just not good enough in terms of looks, height and the value I can bring. Add to that the fact I have social anxiety and you have pretty much an impossible situation to ever get into a relationship. What sucks about all this is that unlike some people who manage well being alone, I really don’t.
@@itookaxaniaintdieyet1893facts, im short and broke plus i just cant be normal talking to girls as ive legit never done that, im 20 but I feel like the way I grew up made it impossible for me to get into a relationship.
Anxiety sucks dude, I’m basically in the same boat. I feel like I was robbed of it all (relationships and intimacy) due to it. Add to the fact the options for treatment are dogshit. Medication is a crapshoot and therapy won’t take away the physical symptoms. I’m with you man
My husband and I met at 21, married at 24, first kid the same year, second kid at 27. We have worked really hard to be where we are today. It’s become interesting to reflect on a decade with someone. We settled for love and sturdy goals. By the time we are both 40 we’ll be able to do all the things we want to do and share it with our kids old enough to really enjoy it. We wanted to start young and work to grow tougher. When you literally share a life with someone and it’s healthy it’s really amazing to have an unspoken experience shared
Sounds awesome! Like, for real, to face challenges together and such. Now it seems like women (as I'm a man) much prefer a ready and complete man to date, while themselves facing mental health issues.
I have observed that those are the best and most stable relationship, when people marry young to their soulmate when they have nothing, but build up together. Sadly most people don't chose that model
Now imagine what it feels like to be at 23 and have everyone you ever met ignore you, at best, or use you at worst. I haven't even had my first kiss. And I find it unreasonable why the world talks down to me to somehow rationalize the fact that I mean nothing to anybody is somehow an okay thing. It hurts. And I think about it every day. It's debilitating in every mondain process and daily occurrence. I see how other people live. I see how others not only have access to goals, but are talked to with consideration while I am treated like less than human. It's not about sex, but being weaved out of the entirety of any shared human connection at all. It's upsetting. Because I live in a very scary reality where the only person who seems to care about me IS me.
I'm glad you mentioned the "younger girls like older guys" thing. It's so cringe when people try to act like age gap relationships, especially the 5-10 year age gaps are in any way weird. Especially after a woman is 25+ years old, I refuse to infantilize women and act like they are incapable of having a relationship with an older man.
i think it always depends where you personally draw that line. An 18 year old dating someone a decade older than them is never not going to be weird and seemingly predatory but once you reach a certain point an age difference doesn’t really mean anything
A lot of women are not capable of having a relationship with older men, and they know that, and thats why they do it. They want a guy who's *more* than them
In my younger years, I was definitely more attracted to older women. The girls my age just had no interest in getting their lives sorted out and often I had to do so many things on their behalf - they just couldn’t figure out the common routines that the rest of us have (ie: getting a parking space and paying, ordering at a restaurant, etc). To me, a woman with mental and emotional maturity and a good intellect was exactly the change of pace I needed.
Lost all my direct family a couple of years ago. I can vouch on what you say. With no loved ones, nothing I use to love doing is worth doing. It doesn't even stop there, ultimately even pride becomes redundant, in the sense that how can one be proud at something they excel if every victory is celebrated alone. Honestly, I struggle just to see the day finish on a day to day basis.
I truly sympathize for anyone in the dating scene. I’m 31 and I’m going 11 yrs this year being married to my husband. We were very young and we may not have it all but I’m so thankful to have someone supportive, helpful, attentive etc. We’re all just trying our best in this world.
I'm at a place in life where I'm 3 years out of college and making around 60K in a field I only studied for due to stability and salary growth potential so I don't like my job but I never have to worry about bills but my job basically demands most of my time and I'm alone with no prospects of a relationship. The thought "Why am I even doing this?" Passes my mind every day. There's only so much you can enjoy by yourself before you wish you had someone to enjoy something with.
I feel you there. I'm just getting to a number in my investments where it can reliably generate passive income. 70K a year and I'm good, but once I hit that point, I don't see the point in working anymore. I'd rather just do what I love whether I'm getting paid from it or not. I'm at 63K and women treat that like it's one step above poverty.
I went a lot of my 20’s single, in debt, living with my mom, and going bald and depressed. I just celebrated my 30th where I’m living with my 25 year old gf. Make above median income, got decent money saved up, and I added probably 40-50 pounds of muscle. Take one red pill, not the whole bottle. Work on yourself. Stay humble.
I love this UA-cam channel so much. It give me such great insight on how men feel and it makes me so sad to see how men still feel like they can’t share how they feel because of how people with tease or demean them. I just wanna say to all the guys out there we appreciate you and even if some don’t I do your valuable and I really appreciate the insight you guys give me when I come and watch this channel. the comment section always leave me with something new to learn about you guys. Thank you!
most guys don't care eut u gotta say, if u really wanna start a revolution, u can't, its biblical that in the end times women always betray men. for example in the days of noah, the women cheated with angels called the watchers and gave birth to giants
I spent 10 years in the military. Dating then wasn’t an issue. I was in good shape, confident, had regular pay that was “disposable,” and I was always stationed around low income areas of the country. I gout out of the service the middle of the 2010s. Dated for 1 year. The expectations were so unrealistic that I simply stopped. Women wanted to move into my house almost immediately. They wanted my time and attention in ways that I found infantile from women in their mid and late 20s. Eventually, I stopped merely to provide myself with the peace of mind I sought. It’s been 6 years since I gave up on dating entirely. 2 dogs, a simple life, and complete freedom to do whatever I want whenever I want is worth the absence of a woman in my life. I even quit my job last year because I have the freedom and capability to do so.
This video is well appreciated. Being a guy at 23, you guys hit all the notes. I just try to tell myself things will get better when I hit my stride, start making money, etc. But, yeah it’s hard out here 💀
This video came out with good timing. It’s my 33rd birthday today, and this topic’s been on my mind. I got married and divorced young, so my 20’s have been spent in financial and emotional recovery. Now I’m at that crossroad cuz I see the mess I would have to jump into. Anyone else in this same boat?
Happy birthday, Don. I'm 33 in October! I'm in the same boat, albeit, I'm looking to retire in two years and move overseas, from England, to South America or Asia.
@@mynamesNev prenuptial agreements exists. Doesn't mean you don't love her just means you have a rainy day fund in case of divorce hopefully it never comes
Coming home and having someone who is there to support you and is on your side no matter what is incredibly powerful. It's also empowering and almost therapeutic to be there for someone and know you're a rock for them to lean against. I'm regularly on both sides of this dynamic. It adds untold stability to my life.
True. But if you're someone, like me, who doesn't like sex but still desires to just have a companion, you're also doomed to be eternally isolated. No one wants to spend the rest of their life with someone if they're not going to have sex with them because most people want that. I'm just weird in that area. So, I've mostly isolated myself from society. I don't go out. I work from home. I don't really have any friends (they're all married or partnered off with their own lives and families) and I've lost interest in hobbies I used to enjoy like video games and making music. There is no one to share my life with because I'm not a sexual person. Obviously, I deserve to be cut off from society. That may or may not be sarcasm.
@@vegetaismydad5382 - Lol, we may need to make a dating app for asexuals because I’m in the same boat. I’ve accepted that I’ll either be alone my whole life, or will have to make a deal with my partner that they have a perpetual “hall pass” as long as they stay clean and safe.
Being young and so isolated is a weird thing. I’m 25 for context. I’m making progress in my career/have ambitions, good relationships with family and long-time friends, have fulfilling hobbies, and grow in wisdom and strength continually. There’s always something in the back of my mind, though. At night, when I lay down for another night without a loving embrace and warm body next to me, a part of me rots and decays. I have to carry around this invisible and steadily-growing repressed pain, and I’m thankful that I’m getting stronger at a similar rate that the pain grows. I had a 3-year relationship before, and have since been single for 4 years. I still try every once in a while, but I’ve largely detached from the notion of a loving romantic relationship. I’ve 90% given up, and now focus almost exclusively on things in my control. And one of the worst things is that my elderly parents probably won’t live to see a wedding or grandkids from me. They don’t get why I’m still alone and I can’t explain it. Thanks for letting me vent lool
This problem is a mix of Generation Z superficiality, social media, and the fast pace of life these days. This leads to loneliness and unstable relationships.
I’m 42. While in my 20s and 30s I had dudes approaching me talking about getting married before our first date even happened. I still don’t understand why people some people rush forward with such important decisions.
@@GeometricPidgeon Yes, of course, this also applies in part to Millenials. I myself was born in 1986 and know the same problems from friends. Moreover, the Boomers said the same things about us as we now say about Gen Z. 😂
I feel like I hit dating at an interesting time. I was 22 and just out of college in 2005 before Tinder and dating apps took off. I could meet women easily at bars and didn't really struggle to find dates. I then went to Grad school and worked full time from 2008-2010. When I started dating again, I noticed it was more online. I had the hardest time getting women to go on dates. I finally gave up. I met my wife while out with friends one night when I wasn't looking at all. I finally got married at 38. Good luck out there guys
I have to admit that I have never online dated and have been out of dating for a long time in a long term relationship with kids. But I think you are right here. Get off the internet, join clubs, volunteer and make friends. Then you will meet women in person.
Wait most people were online in 2010? Tinder didn't come out until 2013 and even then there was a huge stigma of people using online apps being desperate and losers or skeptic of meeting people online. I know match and eHarmony was a thing in the early days
@@Ulises21500 you had many other dating apps before tinder which is why so many guys say it was easy before tinder facebook and instagram even for me. - I was in my teenage years it was really easy but around the age of 21 things did start to become really difficult.
it's so heartwarming to see these videos at the very least. these days even if you talk about your struggles you are called "toxic" and you must be ashamed of yourself.
As a 34 yo woman who recently entered the dating market, I believe the problem is mass consumption of internet content. When I first started dating I looked towards the internet to get an understanding of dating and it felt like this ridiculous gender war that highlights the worst on each side. I still don’t get how people can tolerate Tinder and I recently learned that’s how most people meet. I think there needs to be a BIG PUSH from all sides of the internet to get people out there and talking to each other. I recently went to an adult arcade that hosted their second singles night in 6 months with everyone getting 2 free drinks on entry and IT WAS PACKED with people playing video, games, chatting, and mingling I met so many people including friends. They were mostly mid 30’s which made me wonder about why the younger generation wasn’t present. I think if there was a company to come along and host these monthly in various cities and advertise it with a big push from influencers as well to get their guys out we can start reversing that number.
Yup. The Gender war online is ridiculous. All they do is talk about the worst attributes of either sex as if everyone has the same flaws. All they need to do is socialize and realise that people aren't as bad as the picture Internet chatter is drawing. We aren't so different at our core. People just want to be loved and find joy in a mutually respectful companionship. Another very important factor is manners. Good manners will solve so many problems.
I, now aged 42 with one child from a lengthy prior relationship, consider myself someone who has completely checked out of dating with broad disinterest in jumping back in the game but if there was a singles night held at an arcade in the area there's actually a decent chance that might be the one thing that might get me not only out but out and open to meet new people.
I have been in a few long term serious relationships. And I can tell you that being single is what helped me realize that I don't need to be in a relationship. It's one thing to not know what you are missing. It's another to know all that you are gaining and losing by being single, and still choosing to be single.
Exactly. For me, it was the amount of time I got back. You don't realize how much time women like wasting until you're in a long term relationship with one. Even little shit like not gathering her stuff before I park the car starts to piss you off. All they have is a hole, and you can buy a hole for 60 bucks or fly to Phuket. So all women really offer these days is momentary stress relief, but then when you realize they are the cause of most of your stress, it's a wash. They start to look like the drug dealer lining their shit with fentanyl to try and turn you into an addict and I'm not playing their game anymore.
@@Bonesawisready926 Yeah sounds like being single is what's the best for you. I just hope you heal and find true love you'll one day marry and build family if that's what you want in future.
What u may be referring to is the relief that comes from ending a toxic relationship. Very different from having something beautiful and healthy, that concludes because you want different things
Okay there are TWO factors to this number. You nailed one of them. Younger women go for older men. At least slightly older even on average. So the guys over 29 are dating girls in that 18-29 range. TWO and you missed it. There are probably dudes piping girls who defined it as a relationship in the study and the guys said they are single. And 3 there are dudes out there casually dating multiple women and all of the women said it was a relationship and he thinks he’s single (has happened to me)
haha i was thinking this. My dad always called his girlfriends `friends`. They were within the same age group but many ppl dont claim the person they are actively with.
@Taneisha True , I don't understand why, unless folks are married they don't claim the current., it's worse with younger groups... 😆 even girls do the same where I'm from, folks just hump and claim nothing, and they say they doing it to protect their boyfriend from their own friends???. It's sad the older I get, I worry for my kids future.
As a single man I just don't have any interest in relationships or dating at the moment. I'm in this weird state of just trying to get by and not wanting to deal with other peoples issues cause I have enough of my own. Life is hard and sometimes you just want to be alone and figure it out. I'm sure I am not the only one in this boat.
I know a lot of young men that feel exactly the same way as you and honestly, just take your time until you feel ready. There's no point in dating if you're not even feeling like it. I hope you'll get through it and wish you the best, I'm sure you'll figure your life out.
Bro I am a 30 years old black man truck driver otr and want to start a business I want to get financial freedom before 40s i am focused on myself and a lot of depression because I am not where I am supposed to be yet in life if someone mentally you not ready it's better to work on yourself first
I'm the same way , but I'm never lonely . That lonely is an American shaming tactic so that we start simping after women and chase women . Men hold the key to commitment and should always hold it.
Same. Between Uni and work there's barely any free time and barely any free money, i spend most of the free time trying to get a healthy full sleep or with my boys playing co-op games. I just got no time for relationships and with the state of it today, i don't think it's even worth to bother about it.
This is why if I have a son I'm going to instill value of male friendship. Its one of the pivotal things I'm going to set up in their life. It's not easy for men, it's hard for them to find a woman in their early days. What can we do to help with that? Make sure they have a friend group as that social safety net so their loneliness isn't determined by women's dating choices. We need to promote men and women falling in love but we also have to promote parents ensuring their boys grow up with love in their life through friendship for those moments they are single and can still have a social life they enjoy.
This is great. But I want to point out. A big part of this problem is that lot of men are shitty friends. It's actually hard to find good ones. The single best thing you can do is keep your son OFF the computer. And AWAY from the video games. That 'subculture' sadly is super super toxic. And I say this as a gamer and computer person myself. It's almost impossible to get my 'friends' to do anything. Even my best friend complains like a bitch that I live "soo far away" when I'm less than hours walk away. And it's only that long because of the big ass hills and the windy European streets. Without traffic, I'm barely a 10 minutes drive away.
From what my single friends have told me it’s mostly the fact they don’t ever feel appreciated by their SO, or they don’t want to even try and navigate the mess of the dating world. It’s sad, a positive healthy relationship is such a beautiful thing to be in and it’s so sad to see so many people close to me suffer without that in their life.
I feel so blessed to have my husband at 10 years the love is deeper. Not always easy but it can bring you closer. we believe we are soulmates and have loved in another life....cheesy but it's just so different than anything. worth the inner work.
You can kind of see it in these comments. Relationships are a social skill that can be developed. Instead of learning how to talk to people, you got all these little boys giving up because it's hard. Furthermore, some are even blaming women or imaginary persecution for them being single. It's tough out there, but if you give up that's all you ever gonna be.
@@rw5622 women admit that approaching men is difficult and they feel insecure So lay off the insults, approaching women/ anyone isn't easy for some and it's not their fault
what does "appreciated" mean to them? some people have too high standards from media so they think the relationship is a failure at the first sign of conflict.
As a 25 year old who’s never been in a relationship. I’m not surprised by this statistic. Dating is really hard. And you guys are spot on most women go for older guys because of their financial stability. Financial stability takes awhile to actually have. I’m surprised that some women are shocked by this especially considering the amount of women I’ve met younger, older, and the same age as me that trash the men their own age and especially talk bad about men younger than them. I’m not going to complain about it and think most men realize this and just as except things as they are and learn to deal with it and eventually learn to make it bend in their favor. I’m still working on becoming the man I want to be and setting a foundation for myself for when I become older. Since then I’ve come to realize I don’t really have much time for a relationship since being on my journey. I have decided that if I do meet someone great and if I don’t then I’ll just have to deal with it then
You also have to keep in mind that biologically we mature faster than men. I always felt like I had to coddle men that were under 25-26. I want a partner, not to be a caretaker or therapist. It’s just nature. My best advice is also that the best relationships happen when you’re not even seeking one out. Trying to force it on dating apps seems to lead to a lot of defeat and depression/disillusionment in young men. But it’s because dating apps are mainly based on image and a tiny bio that is curated and not at all reflective of someone’s true self. I met my husband through our shared friend group and oil painting community. Everyone I know that is now married or engaged did so through luck of meeting that person out in the world as well.
@@PuertoRicanGrinderX that’s a symptom of chronically online culture that tells young women to make their whole personality about s*xual attention and superficial pursuits well past their 20s. The suic*de rates are growing exponentially, yes. But you don’t have to be screwed. refuse to participate in the toxic online apps and game. Everyone I know, including myself, that is married or engaged in our 20s have done so by meeting someone offline and through mutual friends/hobbies. Every guy I know that is in his thirties and on tinder seems incredibly defeated and disillusioned. And I strongly believe it’s because those apps are chalked full of the wrong intentions and superficial egos. I have one male friend that just turned 30, he has his own luxury condo and thriving financial consulting business and he’s incredibly attractive! But he’s getting more and more depressed and hurt and only pursues women on Tinder. I know this is anecdotal but it is a common theme amongst my friends. The best relationships happen when you least expect it/ don’t try and force it.
As a 24 years old man, who has never been in a relationship, this feeling of being single, with no end in sight it just starts to eat you from the inside. I have friends, I make social interraction, I like to exchange with people, but dating app not working for the majority of man, not a lot of women in my work environment, I just feel very sad, cause I just want to love and be love
I am the same age as you. I just turned 24 a few days ago and I did asked out countless with each bravery approaches via cold approaches. I got blocked by some afterwards, got ghosted, rejected and many of them turned out to be already in a relationship. Even if I have a billion dollars, life without intimacy from a woman you value a lot is pointless.
I wish I could just turn that biological inclination off, just to be able to not feel any emotional pull for companionship. It sucks to feel like I am missing out on the human experience. I try to ignore my feelings, but its hard. @@christiansnaturestudio6599
Im 27, pretty hollow inside.. never had a real gf and whenever girls interested in me, i cringe cause theres gotta be a motive or some bs game they playing, no way they can actually like me
@@christiansnaturestudio6599 sure is, i even have women who i never spoke to before try to ruin my potential relationships with other women cause they jealous or hate me for whatever reason. I hate most of them and cant trust them either
They're both so damn right, it's about the companionship, the intimacy, being made to feel like you really exist to someone that cares about you. I feel as though that's been missing from my life for a long time. I'm 27 and I sometimes ask myself what's the point? I talk to my ex sometimes to get done semblance of those feelings but ahhh just ain't the same
Agree to disagree. Maybe it because I've never felt pressed to the desire to be with someone. Maybe it is because the relationships I had didn't work out despite my best efforts. But the most miserable and stressed I've been in my life is in a relationship. Might be times changing, and people priorities don't line up with mine. Damn every relationship I leave feels like breathing fresh air again. And some weren't even that crazy. Some people just do better alone. And I don't mean isolated, you still keep up with fam and friends but bruh. I get a shiver thinking about dealing with someone's bullshit again.
I completely agree with you. Some of these discussions about relationships try to reduce the narrative to a single point of view. E.g. a MGTOW will say 'Being single/unmarried is better', and in this case Aba and Preach say 'Being single isn't ideal'. Neither point of view is 100% right o wrong. Just like most people are right-handed and a few people are left-handed, most people want to be in a relationship but not everyone. Some people genuinely enjoy being on their own.
At least you can recognize your own ignorance. Relationships aren't for everyone but it's very possible you just haven't been in a healthy fulfilling one before. If you not feeling it, stay single for a while and see how it goes.
These are facts... as a young man it was rough and didn't get better till I started approaching 30 and in my 30s was like dating on easy mode. Me and my friends were surprised at how bold younger women were in coming after us.
@@randomhuman2595 nah bald is attractive when it's clean shaven. It's just those half stage bald that's weird. remember that mrclean Superbowl commercial had woman going crazy.🤣
@Spots Corner 30 is still very young. I think your have until 45 before you start becoming to old. I know 4 couple of mid 20s and mids thirties. Disagree on giving up here.
@@cheyannewatkins whilst I agree 30 is too young to give up you’ve got to think about how old you’ll be by the time your youngest child is actually a capable adult and move on, e.g. if you have your last kid at 40, you’ll be 58 by the time they reach 18 (and even that doesn’t mean they’re fully mature and responsible because we all know how dumb 18 year olds still are) your body and mind will already be degrading before your children even move out into their own places and have their own lives, especially with housing being so expensive it’s not unusual to expect them in your house well into their 20s by which point you are near to retirement and still have your kids in the house😅
Now in my 30s, it has only gotten harder to date because 1) I work nights doing IT work 2) Never was considered attractive despite being in better shape now (lost over 60 lbs over the past few years), and 3) I want to adopt and/or foster rather than have my own kids. I have worked on myself over the years, by losing weight, traveling, earning 3 degrees and some IT certs, going to therapy and getting help for my mental health, but it seems it is still not enough. The main thing that really keeps me going is my cat and to a lesser extent to one close and best friend that I have. I already told myself that after my elderly cat passes, I will just "call it quits" once I am around 40 and/or get hit with cancer. I don't see no point in living if I am going to be by myself and don't have my own family. It is the only thing I want in life now but I am 90% sure that I will never get married. I have gotten so rejected so many times and ghosted that even therapy doesn't seem to help. The afterlife seems to be the only place where I feel that I would be wanted and also, getting old sucks.
There plenty fish in the sea my brother, ik you traveled but try some new cities and locations. Lower your standards and if anything worst comes to worst go to Christ Jesus
Man I feel you, but I don't want you to call it quits. Get more cats or dogs or some other pet. Go to another country that's more close knit like Turkey, Georgia, Thailand, or Columbia. It's all hard and painful and scary but don't quit. Join a YMCA, drive until you're out of gas, go into a diner and talk to someone. Go to a water park, go to a hospital and ask what you can do to help. Do something new. Grow a plant, ask a stranger for a hug, I don't know but keep moving. Don't look for a dream or a reason or a sign, just do.
I remember when i was younger and constantly stayed inside, super introverted and scared of social life. It wasn't until i faced my fears and made mistakes that i realized how fucking stupid i was for doing those things. Being alone is one of the worst fucking things that can ever happen to you, people are meant to talk and understand eachother, not stay in a room all alone.
Sorry to burst your bubble. Most people dont stay inside because they are super introverted and scared of social life, thats just called being a pussy. People being done with an observed pattern of behavior has nothing to do with what you just said. Maybe if you talk with certain people for long enough you’ll understand
Good you got out. It's not easy for others. Have you seen what's happening around? People can't even be friends because there's so much expectations. We've become more selfish now more than ever before. We don't care about each other now.
Dang, it would be nice if more young people could start building their lives together as a couple, instead of wanting everything to be already built; I think that could even make relationships stronger, it is supposed to be a team after all. No doubt the future is gonna be unsteady.
I personally am not attracted to older men, yet they keep seeking me out, especially since I have a baby face. They tend to patronize me and I just don't see a relationship work with them. The age gap isn't just a number...there's the experience, the financial power, the difference in goals, etc. I'd rather build something with a man closer to my age. That's just me though.
Idealistically, you’re right. But unfortunately, many women, including myself, have dated men who were still working on themselves only to be dumped by those same men the moment they’ve accomplished everything they wanted. I wasted five years of my youth on a man who only used me for shelter while he finished college and started making a lot of money. His dreams were more important than my own happiness…BIG mistake smh This is a common tragic tale for many women being that lately, women tend to have their shit together. Now, more and more women, including myself again, want a finished product. Men in their early 20s typically aren’t finished reaching their academic and financial goals yet and we don’t want to feel used by y’all.
@@mgancarzjr women do the same 🤷🏻♀️ Dating will always be significantly more difficult for men. More accomplished men may have more options, but in the long run those options eventually divorce them. I guess I forgot to mention that in addition to being financially secure, men must be emotionally intelligent as well. Women check out of relationships when they feel unheard or pushed into a mothering role. A common complaint.
@@kickrocks93 do you honestly think those men with options are going to get married right away or finally have the dating lives they missed out on while building themselves up?
I am dating a girl for 2 months now, things are going great. I am not sure where this is heading myself, because I don't catch feelings fast anymore ( bad past experiences). But damn I miss being in a relationship. Hope this works out eventually in a wholesome way.
Just constantly make sure to improve YOURSELF. Every little small thing you come across in your relationship. If she loves you she will notice and appreciate it, and she will get the message that she’s safe to do the same and be content with you always. I promise. Just believe in yourself, and be observant always. And the off chance that this doesn’t work out, you would have figured out more about yourself and what to do and prepare for in your next relationship. But I hope that won’t be the case and that you guys have a happy ending. Also nice Jotaro avi lol
@@sleeperboi8701 I’m literally in a relationship. I’m not simple minded to give advice on something I shouldn’t, just like you’re not smart enough to not make some dumbass assumption on the internet on some dude helping another dude. Go fuck your mom 💀
@@silversoulken Thanks Gintama. I am focused on myself and improving myself and growing. Don't worry about that. It's just that I need to balance feelings and thoughts to engage with her in a healthy way for myself. Which sucks, because I am a pasionate man😆
It's crazy how this has flipped since I was in my 20s. It was so easy to date in my 20s cause guys and girls were always around each other. At the job, hanging out at friends houses that were kind of the "party/hangout" spot for the neighborhood. People just do go out anymore I think so it's majority online interaction and dating. Back in the day there was no interaction between young twenties and early to mid thirties. the internet now provides that path.
you're forgetting colleges and parties still go on in 2023 so yes young people are still our partying , just look at festival lines ups, younger woman also see it as a challenge to get with an older man
Women now have unlimited access to the best men, a few decades of socialisation doesn’t undo millions of years of evolution priming women for mate selection, give them access to the best men, they want the best men, & won’t be satisfied with anyone else
@@POOMPLEX2 I'm not forgetting, but in the late 90s early 00s there was no online dating. Now 50%+ of people dating do it online. So like I said, huge shift.
@@justadummy8076 well we all want the best, right? It's just easier for them to have access to the best. But most can't hold onto the best, so they start getting jaded and directing some of that negative energy to whoever's next. It's just all a never ending cycle.
It’s even more painful when you know some women that you share a space temporarily with are into you but you don’t believe you’re worthy of their love so you don’t pursue them and you don’t see them ever again. Happened to me maybe 15-20+ times that I recall of. I’ve noticed that it stems for a lack of emotional support as a child growing up from not only parents but everyone else in my life and therefore it ruined my psyche as an adult. Still to this day I struggle but I’ll start seeing a therapist soon to help deal with the problems I currently have.
@@thepurplequeen256 How about YOU be his therapist yourself? Put your money where your mouth is 'cause the proof is in the pudding. Also, do it for free.
My dating life wasn’t great in my youth (my teens were in the 80s, my 20s were in the 90s), but I did have relationships, but have been divorced since ‘12. Looking at what dating looks like today, I sincerely feel bad for young people.
As a 22 year old guy who's been used for free food, stood up on dates and Ghosted constantly...... personally I've given up. To what degree, we'll see. At this point, I'm done. Every girl I know that's my age is dating a dude in his 30s or 40s. Hell, it's gotten to the point where these older dudes are Inviting me to tag along with the girls because I look so damn lonely.
Why do you believe girls are going out with you for free food? Have you not considered that maybe they realized they weren’t interested in you by the first date?
I've seen so many stories of guys insecurities being used against them in arguments in a crushing way. Just came from reading a post where a guy who was sa'ed the gf said he deserved it. No wonder why people are leaving the dating pool with so many terrible peoples around🤷♂️
I’m 26 and never had any kind of relationship and I like to think I have a good life, I’ve got goals, ambitions and a good social group but the part where Aba is talking how economically the world is set up for couples is bang on - I’d like to get a mortgage on a house at some point in my life but if I’m not with a partner then how is it even possible - worries me quite a bit
It is possible if you get lucky, otherwise, you have to wait until the companies change their standard and you are applicable. Otherwise, keep trying, keep searching, someone is bound to break.
I can safely say at 28 years old and back at home living with my mom due to unforseen circumstances that I have zero confidence in finding a date. People tell me that living with my mom again is fine and not a big deal, but those people are also living with an SO in their own homes/apartment. They don't know how much f a struggle that is. It's difficult being almost 30 and not having my shit worked out still. Hell, I expect to still be at home by 30 because I have zero opportunities or prospects in my life right now.
I’m in the same boat as you no friends no female experience nothing just graduated high school last year can’t even maintain a 9to5 because I suck at being social with others and it hurts to see everyone else getting along but I’m just the background character
Bro im 32 and I feel this so much. I'm comfortable now, not just financially, but I know who I am, what I have to offer, and how to treat women. I didn't have a dad to show me how to be good to women and validate them, how to work hard, and to have charisma. I had to find that shit out myself, and if I look back at myself, I honestly was a horrible partner until a few years ago. Men don't know how to BE anymore, and its so sad we have rolemodels like Tate filling that void.
Tate and his copy cats have done irreversible damage , solely to make money off of people. "Hey, pay me and I can tell you how to get women" Then in those courses they sell you, they tell you some bullshit that doesn't work on 98% of women, and the women those tactics work on, they don't actually want yknow, they arent relationship material. I wish men and women looked at dating and relationships differently and didn't take those guys advice when it gets hard yknow. (idk any female equivalents to tate but im sure there are some out there too that young women listen to bad advice from)
@@captainmycaptain8334 I disagree with a few things that Tate says but the honest truth is that Andrew Tate does not advise men on how to pick up women. He's not a pickup artist (PUA) and has never claimed to be one. He may have a few one or two commentary expressing his opinions on Male & Female inter-sexual dynamics, but that has NEVER been the core or focus of his message. His MAIN focus has simply been trying to get men to become more confident and better versions of themselves in all areas of their lives. And that is simply because America has the crisis of fatherlessness. Young men are not taught how to be men nowadays due to the lack of father figures in majority of households. The problem you have is that you have wrongly interpreted Tates advice and it's likely because you've not taken the personal time to listen to most of his messages. So you are basically regurgitating the lies your mind has been fed by mainstream media and NPC haters.
@@truereality7407 My guy. Your novel doesnt have anything to do with my point which is that tate and his copy cats fake and fat, and any other macho alpha dipshit only feed men bullshit that will further isolate them in order to sell a course on how to solve the isolation. They want you to buy a product whether thats a course, a discord, listen to their podcast and donate etc. they dont give a rats ass about the people theyre misleading not to mention half of them are self admitted cucks who simp and pay out the ass for sugarbabies. that's not a healthy relationship that people should strive to have. we need less hookup culture and more committed relationships. less cheating and more loyalty. less pretending you own the world and more working together as a relationship is afterall a partnership not a dictatorship. You buy into the façade and you've lost.
You get cheated on yet bro? Every guy I know has had the same or better results by being a bit of an asshole to women. Tate is doing far more good than bad by counteracting trash feminist narratives.
This hits me hard. When i was in my 20s, i could not get a girl. Now when i'm 30, there's 20 year olds who would date me but i want kids and i know most 20 year olds are not fit to be parents. The good girls my age are mostly in longterm relationships. It's a very sad situation. I wanted to date someone since i was 18 and grow together up to this point when i already want a family but it wasn't my choice to make, i tried.
Same. I wanted kids too but I don't feel the same connection or maturity level from the younger women I can get now. Most of them are extremely jaded or dislike kids too it's frustrating
I actually think it’s better to date and marry the girl in her early 20s.. women in their early 30s are more angry/disgruntled because they have ran through by chads. Find a woman in her early 20s who value’s relationship and wife material and willing to have baby soon. The mother instinct will come naturally from having a baby
@@Hdhfhhdh Pros and cons to both older women and younger. Younger women are more fit for children and would have more energy. Older women would be more mature but would more likely have more baggage and less physically attractive.
We sat around in the West for well over a decade laughing at these types of statistics coming out from Japan (one of the world symbols for maximizing human productivity),. While we joked about everyone there being to busy watching hentai to get laid, we never considered that was simply an expedited example of the trend we were ALL on.
@@Naikomi603 It is not. Here in Sweden, it's worse than in America because America exports all its degeneracy these days. Somehow, I know like 3 women that are single and 100+ men. At my last job, literally every single woman was in a relationship while like 20% men were. When a new, single woman started, let's just say all the men were like vultures. It's very weird and it's not because the women are "dating older men"
It’s sad to see this happening when it comes to dating. It sucks for both men and woman, people just have a really warped perspective of reality when going into dating. At this point in time you have a lot more to loose when trying to date then what you might gain
It's because the only interaction these men and woman have with the opposite sex is on dating apps which take out interpersonal human connection and how people bond with each other on a emotional level. How can anyone connect with someone on a emotional interpersonal level through a app which just wants money? You're just met with text and a solid profile pic. People have convinced that's being sociable. It's sad.
We say dating sucks for men and women but it really only sucks for men. If men and women wanted each other, they would be together. The reality is, men want the women but the women only want “certain” men. And there aren’t enough “certain” men for all the women to get one, so they either get used for sex and accept never being committed to, or they stay celibate. But if women really want a relationship, they can have one by tomorrow.
I just go with the flow. Been in problems where I’ve been exploited by my sense of self, my kindness and my honesty. But it’s good to hold onto faith. Sure it is miserable without connection but when you recreate yourself and hold onto your core values and to pass through your goals , that’s enough connection that can help you walk through life. In the end burdens aren’t shared, they’re meant to be buried.
I’m not gonna lie, when I first heard that stat, I thought “Oh, these women are sharing the same men, and some of the women don’t even know it.” I think there’s still some truth to that, but younger women dating older men is a super plausible reason for the stat disparity as well. I think it’s a combination of both
If the disparity is caused by older men being with younger women, then that would mean older women are more single than older men with the same disparity, but opposite for the genders compared to their younger counterparts with 63% of older women being single and 33% of older men being single…unless sharing men is a substantial reason for the disparity.
@@KennyBucketz Last I checked, 45% or so of all older women were single mothers or just single period. After 30, most women's prospects rapidly decline after all.
@@unwelcomemotivation Facts, informal polygamy is the default nowadays. Five girls will be in one man's harem, all thinking they're in a relationship.
I've been single for 20+ something years. It's been difficult finding someone. Just lately this girl I was dating ended what we had only because of a misunderstanding through texting of all places. We've known each other for a year. It's still disappointing for me because I've tried to explain the misunderstanding while also making sure that her points are valid.
She was, in all probability, already checking out, mentally & emotionally. Only someone who's halfway out the door uses something like a text message as the final straw. Don't blame yourself for that text; it's just a way for her to shift the blame onto your shoulders. Women don't want to be seen as the bad guy, particularly to themselves, so they use mental gymnastics to avoid accountability if they possibly can. It sucks, but I've both seen & experienced the "Where TF did this come from?" phenomenon. Hope you feel better soon.
@@spk1121 Thank you so much for the kind words. It means a lot. Right now I'm just having a hard time registering what just happened. It happened in less then 24 hours. I'm in complete consternation. My apologies if I seem to just throw my laundry out in the open but I feel to add some context might be appropriate- This was through text and it started from a tv show (already juvenile and ridiculous). I was talking about a character and how this female is really well written so far. And I simply point out whether the writers for the show will develop her as a strong independent female with no male love interest. But if they do give her a love interest thats cool too. She took offense to this and said "First of all, if you think a womans story has more value when they don’t have a man then why would I wanna hang out with you?" I replied that it wasnt my intention to disparage womans value at all. Some more of her saying I'm sexist for saying that. And more of me just trying to explain that I'm just talking simply about a tv show- while again also reassuring that her points are valid and I'm not contesting anything she says. Long story short she says I'm gaslighting her and tells me to f off. But whats odd is on our first few dates, getting to know each other, we share the same outlook politically, morally, socially etc. So for her to assume something I'm not is just so confusing. Halfway out the door makes sense. I never saw it like that. Sorry for the long paragraph. Thanks for reading if you made it this far.
Dude walk away from that. If she's unwilling to listen to an explanation for a misunderstanding through text... I can't imagine trying to explain a more difficult situation later on. (bullet) < >>>>>>>(you)
@@15thobserver You're 100% right.I need to. But not gonna lie it's still difficult cause we were hitting it off before that one unfortunate text session. As time goes by. But right now it's hard to let go. Thanks so much for the response. As you can tell I really don't have anyone to talk to in regards to this hahahaha. Thanks again.
@@shaolinidiots Yea, that always sucks to have to let go of something when it wasn't your choice to end things. I don't know of much that makes that feel any better except time and experiences with the close relationships that you do have. Np, but don't give your heart to strangers on the internet, thats a sure fire way to ruin your good will towards humanity. Good luck and I hope you find time to spend with anyone you care about.
I'm 26 and I've never been on a date. My parents never showed me any affection and never helped me develop social skills. I had 1 close friendn in high school and he betrayed me. I had a long distance relationship as a teenager and she lied, manipulated, and cheated. For the past 7 years I've had nobody to even talk to. I don't have a clue how to even begin to develop socially, and i know the older I get the harder it'll be. Every birthday is fucking horrible because it's just a reminder that I'm getting older and I'm going to die alone.
I would love to speak on this channel. As a 19yr old male, I really appreciate you both for making this video and bringing more awareness to this topic. Intimate relationships are dying. The want for them from both genders is dying. The concept of love is completely warped. And the pursuit of happiness is turning to depressing solitude being mistaken for independent strength in extremely toxic manners. I talk about it constantly. The women of this generation are so unappealing. It seems like they either dont know what they want, whether that be a relationship or not, or what they want OUT OF a relationship. It seems like they are part of this social media hive mindset of "I dont need a man" I feel like they fail to realize that nobody said they needed men. As men, we want women. We want women to want us. The whole men only want sex statement only applies to SOME men but it also applies to SOME women. Personally, even though I'm young... For years all I wanted was a real relationship. Of course it took me some years to fully understand intimacy. But I crave intimacy. I crave to care for a woman, to take care of her. To love her, support her, cherrish her, adore her, and please her, etc. But I also desire that to be fully reciprocated. And the sad reality is, a lot of theze women just want to GET and not GIVE back. But from the male aspect of this failing generation and society, men are starting to want women less. Men are starting to get a "Fck women, I don't need women" mindset. But I feel women have the "I dont need" mindset from being used, while men have it for being heartbroken. But I also feel vice versa happens aswell. I have so much to say about this topic but I'm not gonna type a whole book here. Thank you again for the video, wish I could speak on it further from a Young Male perspective.
Bruh you 19 you are too young to really say anything. Gain some experience, im not trying to insult you but you have NOTHING of substance to say simply because you dont have the experience.
very wise words from someone youre age. im only 22 but you are speaking the truth. motives aside, this generation puts far too much positive weight on "independence", meaning lone wolfing it to pursue career/life goals. I just think its a little silly because who doesnt want to be in love? both sexes are guilty of this.
Excellent commentary my friend and let me say for a 19 year old you write with extraordinary conviction and life experience , I must admire your skill in presenting your arguments effectively, may You find what you seek with the grace of God, take care
@@xMckingwill Just bc I'm 19 doesnt mean I act like I am. I dont hang around people my age. I don't even talk to people my age. But being around adults more than people my age definitely has allowed me to talk to them about their experiences with love, relationships, etc. Shit, half of my main friends are single, the other half are 10+ years married. I dont have a single person under 22 I consider a "friend".
@@Spextre acting like a 19 isnt my point you just lack experiences due to your age, if you hang around Drs. It doesnt make you a doctor nor does it make you an expert. So dont use your limited experience to clock out of dating You yourself just decribed that half of your freinds are in relationshio so why are you focusing on the half that arent?
Word of advice to the guys out there (especially young guys) who are checking out of dating because of the apps... I'm not using them either. When I meet people, it's through friends, a class I'm taking for some new skill I want to learn or through some social event like that. I know it's "easier" for women to get matches on apps but it's not ideal for anyone who wants to take their time to know someone for a bit without the pressure of dating them from the first time meeting. If the apps are discouraging you, they're discouraging me too. I feel that. Don't give up! There are good people out here that want to love and be loved too.
Funny enough. When I cut out apps and started going out places with friends. I have women approach me and hit on me. I had 3 women last year at my job in retail flat out ask for my number. Apps aren't real life yet people act like they are.
When I'm out and about doing things I don't think about sex or relationships I don't see every attractive women and think oh an opportunity for a date. I stay thinking about what I'm doing and where I'm going next. No women apporchs me ever when I'm out in society mingling nor do I think I should be consistently obsessed with getting a intimate connection everywhere I go......js
Preech - your ability to keep quiet is amazing! Your ability to listen and wait in till you get a chance to speak . Your face says soo much more .. Stay strong ! Namaste 🙏🏻
Yea man you guy’s are right, having a family is the best thing you can have, i also believe people aren’t made to be single but sometimes it’s just the safest decision in the recent mayhem’s .
Yall didn't even mention how brutal it is as a guy to date I'm 19 and have already been used multiple times for free food😂
& Many women get used for sex. Dating is brutal for many but I dont believe most women out there are going on dates with you for free food. Odds are they went on the date and you were doing it for em. If the opposite is true and they were there for free meals, what are you doing to attract that? (You also can just take em out to coffee)
Cuz most women are not going on dates for free food. If you think that, you just lying to yourself to make them seem evil to justify your circumstances rather than being accountable. Either you aint selecting well or you arent gaining their interest. At the end of the day, you're in control.
@@AbaNPreachyes sirrr
It's because of competition and females having to many options on online dating and it's not fair for us men, average men are no different from average women but yet they get more options and we don't and that's the sad part, that's why women deserve less 🤷🏽♂️
Pin of Relatibility-Because-Every-Man-Here-Was-Nineteen-Years-Old-Once .
@@AbaNPreach That's kind of a baseless assumption you pulled out of nowhere with no actual evidence, what if the guy was actually used lol?
What I find amazing about this is that people are surprised by this study. Every ordinary guy who is told that a majority of women are after a minority of men will respond by saying "Yeah, I know."
That’s not what this stat proves
@@haileyquinnzel That’s exactly what it proves. They just explained it. Did you watch the video?
@@Kal-El207 it’s not what it proves at all. I did watch the video.
Facts. It makes sense, but some older men do get it bad too. A lot of those women don't bring nothing to the table, yet they're fully aware of what they've gotten. Meanwhile, the men are either aware of taking care of them or they're being controlled. Which, unfortunately, it's more so the latter than it is the former
Dude, even I'm surprised by this study.
I gave up on dating because I was tired of being made to feel both like an ATM and a therapist.
Amen brother
I'm scared :'(
Yeah why bother in this day in age?
Gave up on dating cos eff it! Why do young men gotta struggle for women who don't even see and appreciate efforts.
I'm tired of being ghosted 👻 and ignored. Ignoring someone is rude 😒
I relate to what Aba is saying. I remember going to vacation by myself, having a great time by the way, discovering local meals, beautiful landscapes... and then thinking to myself : " I wish I could share those moments with someone ". I'm good right now by myself, but I could be much better with someone who's dear to me.
'better' is an illusion. there's no such thing as a 'better life', it's always good. get real.
@@cheeseburgersuperior1874 of course life can always be good if you're content and do the most with what you already have, but there's nothing wrong with wanting to make a change and seeking for something that I believe is better for me. and in that exact moment , even tho I was happy and content , I felt that those moments could've been more memorable if I shared them with someone. I don't understand what kind of point you're trying to make, how real can I be ?
@@arumenu lol. realistic individuals doesn't consume the dream too much.
@@cheeseburgersuperior1874
correct me if I'm wrong, so it's unrealistic for me to seek for a relationship, is that what you're saying?
@@arumenu lol. you can seek what ever you want but at least be realistic and accept and expect when reality BITES back on something you already had it's good.
I've always been single, gave up on trying a while ago when I got my dog on my birthday. He was a sweet dog, and I had something besides playing video games to keep myself from being crazy. I had to put him down since someone shot him in the face. I really haven't grieved much, I cry as I write this now; because I went back to gaming as a crutch. I'm trying to make friends though, so there's that, still, I miss my dog a lot and it's a sore subject.
I'm sorry to hear that. Hang in there.
Stay strong
Start lifting. No you won’t become a chad, and for most people it’s a cope and they tel themselves it makes them better when it doesn’t. But I find it gives me something to look forward to do alone. Also makes you look desirable I guess, but probably not to the type of woman you’d want.
Talkin about it is hard, but it's about baby steps y'know? Typing online is more of a jump than you've made so far! There's always someone around who's willing to listen. Hang in there bud, you got a bit of a climb but you'll make it with that work ethic.
You can still make friends in gaming bro. Look up gaming groups that are near you so you can also have a friend to hang out with.
Solo players are more common than you think. Other people need communities too man.
I’m a 26 year old man that separated from the military and now i use my benefits to be a university student. I am quite literally in a place in my life that the greater majority of women are not interested in. To old for the girls around me, not successful enough for the girls my age, and to young to be raising someone else’s mistake. It is what it is.
That was me in college man. You're kinda the pariah because you're in between categories
Damn this summed up my thoughts on being a man in my 20s trying to date in this decade. I really would like to know what caused this generation to have delusional expectations for life and love.
@@JadedeaJade that’s actually a great idea. I don’t have a tinder acc but I should make one for the commander 😂
@@peosio96 You never know. You might draw in a nerd.
@@ghoste4370 social media. Everyone (men and women) have created ridiculous expectations in their heads while over estimating themselves.
The only thing worse then being alone is being with someone who makes you wish you were alone.
I wish 20 year old me understood that.
Well said
Robin Williams said, being with people who make you feel alone is worse than being alone..
It's crazy but a woman CAN feel that way with a man too. Geez every man on here make it seem like it's a woman issue. No accountability in any comment but I rather feel a connection than to settle. Using men for a meal is dumb and sound like some broke issh. I literally take myself out. I'm only interested if I'm into you. I don't need a cheap meal and awkward conversation.
@@phenitagomes1292 nobody said men/women till you did. Be less of a victim. Of course women can be in the same situation.
@@phenitagomes1292 Amazing how you managed to find something that had nothing to do with you and tried to make it all about you. It's takes an exceptional ego to insert yourself into a situation and act as if anyone would even care.
What Aba said about the importance of intimacy and connection is no joke. As someone who is 29 and never had a serious relationship, I can tell you that he is absolutely spot on. Being physically starved is undeniably missing out on a huge part of the human experience and all it's benefits. What's worse is that on top not getting the benefits, it instead causes stress and other problems exponentially.
Every day, every month, every year that goes by without even so much as a hug will leave you feeling completely worthless and like nothing matters, like you're not even human. You cannot rationalize those feelings away either, even if you KNOW they aren't true.
The fact is that nothing can replace the real thing. Sure you can pay for it, and you will temporarily get a glimpse of what feeling normal is like, but unless you keep paying that feeling will fade and eventually make you feel worse about yourself bc now you know what you could feel like when you're not neglecting your body.
The only people who enjoy being single have already experienced love enough to compare what they prefer. They really have no idea what it's like to be deprived, but they will tell you that you don't need it. This is like telling someone who's never ridden a bike that bikes aren't worth learning to ride, usually while they continue to ride one in front of you...
As a 55 year old man divorced after a 27 year marriage and who has had a total 3 women in his life, being single is the most rewarding part of life EVER. And no I do not need to be unhappy. I have more money in my pocket and more time for myself. I have traveled the world...literally (66 countries) and have met many wonderful people that I shared moments with. People need to stop confusing being single with being alone...Happiness is within and there is not a single human being on this planet that will make you happy for all of your life. Actually most will make you unhappy and frustrated. So once again, single do not equate alone. It equates free and surrounded by people that you let into your moments as you discover life and the world. And trying marrying someone, and realize that you will be even more physically starved and stuck in a relationship where your needs do not count.
@@skonstas4683I think you’re right. I’m 27 but I’m not like you I’m untraveled I don’t have have good people skills yet but I’m slowly trying things out. I really want to date but I’m seeing how much of a mess the dating scene is. It also doesn’t help that the longer I stay out of the game the less desirable one becomes making the dating market even smaller. Id really like to be with someone though it just feels like I’m missing out on a huge part of myself.
@@skonstas4683 I understand where you're coming from, however, what you're saying is not applicable to someone in my position. I hate to call you out like this, but you're doing exactly what I described in my comment in the bike scenario...
That advice only works for people who have had realtionships enough already to know what it's like and what they prefer. Ever hear the saying "It's better to regret something you have done, than something you haven't"? That rings very true when it comes to love.
And that last part about still being physically starved in a realtionship, first of all, I can't be even more physically starved bc I'm already getting absolutely nothing, and all that means is that I chose the wrong girl. Trust me when I tell you that I will make sure whoever I start a relationship with will have a similar sex drive. If she refuses on a consistent basis for no observable reason, and still denies me after I explain my concerns, then I'm ending it right then and there. At that point, she's either not compatible with me, or she's cheating... If a woman truly loves you she wouldn't make you suffer like that.
@Caleb's Unremarkable UA-cam Channel Yeah man, that's exactly right. Our divine purpose is to be with others and help each other achieve what we cannot accomplish by ourselves. I may not be religious, but there is a reason why people have held those beliefs for millenia. It is what what we are created for, and our biological needs cannot be ignored.
It might sound like I'm focused a bit more on the physical side, but there is a fine line between having s*x and making love... I couldn't care less about the former. If that were enough, I wouldn't be here talking about this.
What it really comes down to is being able to know that the person you're making love to is someone who accepts you for who you are and treasures you the same way you do for them. It's a complete feeling of bliss, and more importantly a comforting reassurance that allows you to truly relax. Like it or not, we need that validation.
A good example of this is a scene at the beginning of "Death on the Nile" where a woman explains how love is when someone's flaws or scars are like freckles in their eyes, and it makes their good qualities shine that much brighter.
This is the connection we all yearn for, and no amount of money or traveling or anything else can replace that. If you believe that, well, you're in "De Nile" 😅
@calebisthebigdumb How do you know god said all those things?
I’m in the army, when I was single I could not really find a date my age but when I went on rotation to Poland. All the women were open to talking, dating, hanging out and most of them were honest, respectful and family oriented. Moral of the story is sometimes it’s really is where you are at
Moral of the story is "America is a sespool"
Foreign >>>>
I’m polish and Puerto Rican. I agree. I went to Poland and notice that it’s easier to get a wife. In the states and in my Latino side, not a fan of it. Poland is most safest country globally, so they must be doing something right.
Yes cas polish woman are not rotted to the core with propaganda and feminism, plus out there woman get shamed for high body count, if u don't cook or clean ur also a failure so from young age they are encouraged to cook it's not operation like its in the west
@@Chameleon_daddi not just America, it’s the west in General
I'm single late forties and too checked out to care about finding someone else. Still trying to get my head out the other side of the divorce nightmare.
The last 2 and a half years have quite frankly been savagely depressing. I got the feeling the doctors didnt care. Most older men know they have to just cope and get through it. I can feel myself slowly getting more control of my life every day. I am not anymore near as happy as I used to be, and by the same respect, not as suicidal as I have been.
I can say with 100% honesty that without my family I would not be here.
Family is everything, and I simply could never do that to them.
The fact that you slowly feel yourself getting more control every day is huge! That’s the worst part, waiting for things to START to decrease.. especially when it feels like that will never come.
You’ve got the ball rolling now.. Things will be shitty, but less and less shitty over time. Keep going, man!
Keep going pal. Become the best you can mentally, physically and financially. One step at a time. You got this. Atb
My brother your comment resonated with me hope you keep it up.
Yeah there's not a lot of good theropists for men going through divorce.
Keep going brother. Stay in the fight. As long as your here lots of men can use your story to make their lives better.
You are an example of the excellent point that family isn't just the family you make with someone you marry. It's also the family you come from. Not everyone is at odds with their birth families.
Being chronically online has hurt interaction skills across the board and the group think that comes from being online is destroying young people’s morale. Men saying all women are users and giving up on dating and women claiming all men are cheaters will not take us anywhere productive. Whatever happened to looking at others as individuals and judging them based on their actions and not stereotypes. It’s tiring seeing so many generalizing the other sex instead of looking internally to break patterns and find a positive social circle.
I agree honestly. So much is spoken about being an individual and being unique online, yet it's ironic how much more we generalize still.
If you're trying to date on dating apps, both sides are entirely right, it's all cheaters and users with lottery chances of finding someone decent, and like you said, it stems from being chronically online and losing that ability to see individuality now
This is how it should be, if people are socially developed and healthy. I have a suspicion that many young people raised mostly on the internet just don't have good social skills and have very unhealthy attitudes towards relationships. Generalizations are harmful, and it really is no easy to say it nicely but some people are straight up dumb. They don't know how to navigate the world and direct their frustration and anger towards the opposite sex rather than take accountability and self reflect on their own shortcomings.
Yes, everything about this 🙌🏾. Social media has shaped how people view others and the world so much, and I see so much pessimistic dating content online all the time! No matter if the audience is men or women.
I don't get the "all men are cheaters" claim. More men are single and sexually inactive than ever. If they're single then how could they be cheating?
I’ll be honest…it’s so hard not to be jaded. Overlooked in my 20s…now in my early 30s I have soooo many options but the issue I have is I feel I’m the SAME person…& I’m more desirable to the SAME women who overlooked me. Same personality but I’m definitely more stable but it would’ve been nice to grow into my success WITH a woman. But no, they want me now that I have it and it sucks because it’s strictly for the resources. They always “liked” my personality but they wanted the “lifestyle” even more…and they bet on guys they came up empty with…and I refuse to give them “lifestyle” now
anyone over look you. ignore them.
Yeah you are jaded. Sucks but you gotta get over it. All women want a nest to birth in. So it is what it is lol
I appreciate you for sharing this bcuz I'm 24, dreads, good looking and I'm going threw alot when it comes to finding a real genuine woman who's into you
thats the most depressing part about it. feels like most people only care for the surface level of the person
I wish women would respond to THESE types of comments :/ especially since I see myself heading that same way
One point I'd like to add is that I think a lot of people have seem to forgotten that having a fulfilling and loving relationship is generally not something you stumble across. Certainly not something you could derive from using someones material status as a checkmark.
A true relationship that is based on mutual trust, understanding and support is something you really, really... really have to build from the ground up. You have to be able to look at someone and say, you are by far not perfect. But I see a seed that could grow into a tree. And I'm willing to come back to it, even when its storming like hell, to care for it and water it. And moreover you have to be able to look at yourself in the exact same way. And commit to becoming a better person for the other.
That's not to say you should be careless with who you date.
I just feel like people no longer dig for the diamond, and cut the gem. But rather, they look for the finished ring on lying around, throw down the shovel when they can't find it.
This is a beautiful analogy❤
Beautifully said.💛 I love the metaphor of the seed growing into the tree, in seeing that potential in others and helping them for their own sake. That's indeed what a true loving relationship is.
I also love the diamond analogy, it's very on point. I had the same impression, but couldn't have formulated it that well.👍
That was beautifully said.
And what if your diamond is a Herkimer diamond and you spent your whole adulthood thinking it’s real but then it throws on a red wig and walks away because of the patriarchy? It starts with our kids not who we find
True but the illusion of infinite choice that dating apps provide disincentivize people from investing in someone with potential. The general disposition is that investing time and energy into cultivating a stranger into an ideal partner isn’t worth the risk when the already ideal person could be just a swipe away.
The older guy gets the younger girl dynamic is something we've been experiencing since we were teenagers. The girls in your class when you just started high school didn't want you because they wanted the seniors. Once you became a senior, now you get all the girls EXCEPT the ones in your class because they want the college guys and the guys who are working. Same thing in college.
Hypergamy. Nothing new.
That dynamic is what made me say fuck it with dating. I'm never going to beat out all the other 4 billion men on this planet in every single way, so no matter the woman I'm with, she's gonna leave the second she finds a dude she likes slightly more, and I'm not interested in engaging in likeability contests with men every day for the rest of my life.
Hypergamy is nothing new, but what we need is a new way to respond to hypergamous women. At this point, 90% of us should abandon them. If they only care about 10% of men, make those men their only option. You get those or you get nothing. Maybe women would have basic respect then.
I remember in the 90s, the first time a girl in HS told me she only dated college guys. I couldn't believe it. I was so confused lol
@@Bonesawisready926 I am a loner by nature but when women try to mess with me, I just consume then leave when I am done.
In other words pump and dump.
If she looks trustworthy I will act different of course but most aren't tbh. So protect yourself at all time
Went through the same thing in HS, a lot of the girls were dating grown men in their mid-20s because they had a car and lived in a small apartment.
My best friend is voluntarily celibate. He is a successful guy, with a medical degree, drives 2 nice cars, lives in a nice house in a nice part of the city. He takes care of his parents and his sister's child. He's told me that every single woman he has been on a date with since college, has made financial demands of him on their first or second date. He has simply said fuck that.
Yo does he need a new best friend? Coz I'll be down for that!
He should be getting dates because of all of that, but realistically he's getting dates because he has a high paying job and 2 nice cars alone
Being a rich guy is similar to being a woman in general, you never know who wants you for you vs what you can give them
He sounds Indian.
He sounds very socially unaware. Cool that he didn't give up on studying during medical school, but a few bad dates and he decides to give up on the entire female population? Does that make any sense? At least he is book smart I guess.
@@rw5622 "every date since college". That sound like a few to you?
When you said, "we live for others", it made me tear up because it is so ducking true and reminded me how alone I am. Great content guys.
@Caleb's Unremarkable UA-cam Channel I've thought about roping for a long time and I will always choose that versus falling for some delusional fairytale with zero evidence to support it. Might as well base my life on a Harry Potter book.
@@oceandrop7666 I swear to god dude everybody think that religion is fake until life gets really dark and they start to pray and say they are true believer
@@jesusquintana3807 If that were true no one would ever commit suicide.
@@oceandrop7666 ya and living your life by the belief that everything in life is meaningless and your just a bag of meat walking on a spinning ball is gonna make someone feel a lot better lol
@@michaelkarkowsky4605 It would. Truth matters more than lies, regardless of what that truth is.
I met my first GF in (UK) college at 17. We married at 25, been together my whole adult life and I spend my energy building a life and a home together instead of on dating drama.
Holy shit am I a lucky man. I better never forget it.
Hey man... I don't even know you but believe me you've found a gem... treat her right... I've been trying to find someone like that since I was 18... that'll want to build by my side... I'm 23... didn't lose faith totally yet but it decreased through the years... God bless you two man... stay safe
Same here 25 and married to my first and only gf i feel in peace without all the drama
I found a girl at 24 and she's amazing. It's hell trying to fix yourself up for someone who's too good for you. But i wouldn't pick anyone else to do it for.
🤡 clown comment…needs to be pinned for shame
Unicorn especially in the UK
I'm 29 and am part of the 63% stats. Never been on a date nor been in a relationship. I've been focusing on self-improvement for a while but losing hope of ever experiencing relationships. I'm working on accepting being forever alone at this point but some days are so hard to bare...
don't say that bro please keep your head up and trust me there's someone there for you bro you just have to go and find that person
maybe when your 20 years older and wealthier women will finally be interested.
Maybe your standards are too high?
@@evanweathersby3126 Not that I know of. It's mainly the lack of confidence and feeling unworthy and unattractive enough. I'm also not rich yet, so I am not highly valuable. I've never asked any woman out for the fear of being a creep or them feeling disgusted towards me. I am trying to improve my net worth and hitting the gym 7 days a week. Hopefully, it will keep me occupied for most of my life.
32 same boat, shit sucks, try not to be such an introvert like I am. Got a job, house, cars, I'm not in bad shape, just don't have any social skills at this point or knowledge of where to go or what to do.
I absolutely love the comment section here, this is healthy . Men can’t vent and express their grievances on social issues that primarily impact them , without being called toxic or being “one upped” by woman.
It’s important for men to have these spaces to share their thoughts without being shunned and simultaneously without blaming women.
Thank you Aba & Preach for creating such a space through making videos highlighting these issues.
Their explanation doesn't make sense
I find when men express their feelings, a few ugly things happen:
_"Stop making it about YOU! You got a problem? Women got a dozen more!"_
_"Anger? That scares me, keep it to yourself."_
_"That may be a valid problem, but it's other men causing it, so who cares?"_
_"Oh you're just mad that you don't run the world anymore."_
I know most women are genuinely fascinated to hear what goes on in men's heads. But when men speak up, a very bitter, very hurtful minority of women pipe up, and see that opening in men's armor as a place to thrust daggers.
If women wanna help, they need to be the ones to shame these bullies, and recognize they're the tyrannical minority that have kosherized men into silence.
We can't do it. We don't get to accuse people of being hurtful. Every complaint is just translated into, "I'm horny, lonely, and unable to put a lid on my juvenile angst."
Meanwhile it's just men saying things like, "I don't want to risk having kids if I'm just going to have them taken away and replaced with debt and alienation." That's not angst, that's a bonafide existential nightmare.
@@Garblegox And don't forget the incel comments.
@@randomhuman2595 how so ?
@@SPDRM And it’s because in their 40’s who are most attracted to them ? Young women , hypergamy doesn’t cease after 30….
People forgot how to make friends. We are too busy chasing romance. If we have enough friends then romance becomes less important.
💯
Wish more people would say this. Romantic connections are the prioritized relationships in modern society I think.
What if you want both tho
I used to play tough, and act like I didn't need a woman. After I lost my big bro, that depression hit me like a baseball bat. I just wanted a hug, a shoulder to cry on. My pets keep me accountable and add purpose to my life. It's not much, but you need little things to keep you going sometimes. Still, the idea of trying to date again just gives me anxiety.
no need to put yourself in such situations
if it makes you anxious and not feel ok, its better to keep away from it
relying on your pets is good and also making close friends no need to do dating
My situation is the mirror image of your situation.. My dogs, (which I got for my wife ironically) are the only thing that keep me going
I think my dad is the only reason I haven't just opted out. When he's gone, I don't think I'll care much about the world anymore.
If i must be lonely I think I'd rather be alone
Make him proud brah
I'm a 25-year-old black man and the dating market made me realize that the rat race in America is a joke. I took a leap of faith and now I have a remote web development business in the Philippines. Moving here was honestly the best decision I've ever made for my mental health. The dating dynamic is healthy, people here have a heart of gold, and black men have a positive history in Filipino culture dating back centuries. I'm totally at peace now and can't see myself ever going back to the west. Don't be so hard on yourself, it's not you, it's the current state of western culture. Treat yourself to a coconut and enjoy the madness from the safety of a VPN.
Congratulations man! That's awesome! Good to figure out now then later fr. Also, explorering places outside the US broadens your mind so much too and its fun and not as nerve racking at least for me.
As a Dad from Switzerland I too am astounded by the downfall and degradation of American culture as a whole. I've been seeing these type of headlines every week for a decade now. My 2 sons have been in long term relationships but there seem to be a ripple effect as they report more and more of their friends have been experiencing break-ups and short-term relationships.
Times will be rough. Stay strong friends
The females aren't different, the culture is, the government and social systems are coming to save them like in the 1st world countries.
Don't get it twisted, they're the same creatures _anywhere_ you go in the world, they only because because the culture demands and disincentivizes their bad behavior
Similar. Moved to Thailand found an amazing woman. Would never go back to the US. Happy for you sir!
You can find women there, they love American men
"I'm a homeowner" is a shockingly powerful pickup line.
Homeowners/Old people that own houses, litterally manipulate the market and force house prices to skyrocket in the first place.
We should be building a shit ton of apartments and condos. But instead you get these old fucks manipulating zoning laws to stop that shit from happening
“I earn 50,000 Dollars per month after paying taxes and rent” is the most powerful pickup line known to humanity. Thorough scientific research is still being conducted on why this never fails for some reason. What a mystery. Only the most talented and clever wordsmiths can come up with a sentence as unique and effective as that.
I thought being a certified forklift driver was the most powerful.
@@OmegaF77 It never worked for me!
I will be a multiple homeowner (they divorced and went separate ways a long time ago) when my parents die.
That is the only way I will ever be a homeowner 😂
I'm certainly part of the 63%. I'm 38 and at this point in my life, I'm just sick of the ambiguity. I'm afraid of misinterpretation of intentions. The rejection is certainly part of it, but so is receiving mixed signals and find it's much easier and saves a lot of heartache to not try anymore.
You're not part of the 63% if you are 38. You aren't a young man.
There's no ambiguity if you're upfront from the start, don't try to be a friend
At 38 I’m sure that you have come across a lot of women in your life. I don’t think rejection should still be one of your fears. Get rejected, get misinterpreted, just keep putting yourself out there. There are plenty of women out there, eventually you’ll get one.
@@crazycool3031 agreed.
What are you waiting for??? Death? Go talk to some girls at a bar or something. Or just find a group of guys who you like, and go hang out in public, see how you become a different person with women.
Aba is speaking the truth. I'm close to 40 and single. Live alone. Good paying tech job, no debt , thousands in savings. I'm in a stable cope mode. I have a good family and friend circle, but I'm not deluded. Being alone is unnatural. I can't complain, as being rich and single has benefits too, but I'm not going to sell a mgtow dream. Dating really is damn near impossible. There aint really much I can do but just cope.
Being single is not bad, you can still have a good life, it's all in your head.
Or get your passport.
PASSPORT BROOOOS
if you havent been able to secure a stable relationship and youre 40 thats a you problem. but i dont know you maybe you had long term relationships in the past that fell apart.
At man maybe get a foreign good woman maybe. Could change your life.
“No man is a failure who has friends.” Always been one of my favorite movie quotes, it captures just how important relationships to other people truly are, like Aba said.
Just takes one guy in the group to get a girlfriend when the friendship starts taking the back seat
@@vancedadder Tell him.
well i have none lol
"No man who has friends is a failure", runs off the tongue easier.
Only way I’m hanging out with you in my 30s is if we’re making money together or scheming how to join up and make money, or to trade knowledge.
Anything else don’t have time for.
As a 33 year old man, my life is so much different than when I was 18. No one cares about young men, most females pay us no mind and if they do, it’s generally not positive. Society doesn’t care about the struggles young men face.
All I can say is it gets better, as a guy our life is backloaded. If you focus on your craft, your interests and your health. Including mental health, having a friend group and string family ties goes such a long way.
If course I don’t care about you because you don’t see me as human but just an object. Maybe don’t refer to women as “females” and then maybe I’ll consider caring about the problems that males cause everyone to suffer from themselves.
And on the back end don't be captain save a hoe.
As a 32 year old guy I can say that it usually doesn't "get better."
@@oz_peter lol yet y'all getting sent back and banned keep it up
@@iamtheone91 different strokes for different folks. Some people need a mate or they're unhappy til death. Not everyone is that way though.
the main reason im hesitant to pursue dating now is because i feel like so many younger people my age don't know what a healthy relationship looks like and for me almost every single time i pursued something with a girl it ended in heartache. what's the point of trying to build something with someone just to get ghosted or replaced? ive just got out of my first relationship with someone who made me actually believe in love and made me a lot more hopeful, but towards the end they lied about dating another guy in the background and got more and more cold until i found out what was happening, then i was just dropped like a cold rag. i would like to believe in love, but often i feel as if i wont find it.
It's her loss. You deserve so MUCH BETTER. I just turn 24 a month ago and I have been shooting my shot🏀 more than I am count throughout my college career. I asked many women out both in college and outside of college in nearby cities including Boston. I am still recovering from a brutal heartbreak rejection from the woman of my dreams who used me and we never even gone out on a real date. Depression is the real deal 🤣. But yeah I would say, staying consistent at the gym and eat clean balanced foods daily will work wonders over time. A lot of women who rejected me, it's their loss. I hope you are doing well bro. I wish your amazing dreams will come true. I believe it.
As a 22 year old who's almost done with college. As much as I want to be in the dating pool, I got an education, career and job to pursue and a woman I'm dating is not necessarily gonna help me get their. I'm not gonna waste my time chasing something I'm not gonna catch. As of now I'm doing what you guys were saying before, keep doing what I'm doing and eventually I'll find someone along the way who I can love and appreciate and vice versa.
Dude. Buy a house you will not have to do a damn thing they will come to you.
A big step for you might be to figure out which there/they're/their to use.
Just live your life and the women who really like you for you will come. Once you feel confident enough to pursue something later go ahead and do that.
you will be coping when you're 33 as well😂
"aT LEaSt I hAvE mY hObBies!"
Yes but it's also a tricky situation finding someone along the way that waste your time in the long-term relationship.
I'm a 20 year old male currently in college. My social life in school before now was pretty much rock bottom, and I could never even begin to gather the confidence to give this dating scene a shot. I can only work on building myself up and hope I happen to meet someone I'm compatible with, but goddamn does it feel like the whole system is against me sometimes.
Now it's 🛂 passport time
The good news is that the more you build yourself the more confident you'll get.
If you’re building yourself up for someone other than yourself, you’re doing it for the wrong reason.
because it is.
@Erik W no its not! Stop perpetuating this bullshit and encouraging kids to go into debt. The MOST IMPORTANT THING IN COLLEGE IS TO NETWORK AND INTERN! There is literally no other reason to attend a college other than to gain a letter of recommendation. I have 2 degrees, and they are just pieces of paper that mean almost nothing. Yes I know how to do what I went to do, however half of what I know how to do I learned from available information on the internet. Seriously if you are not in engineering, medicine, or law there is NO point in college other than a letter of recommendation. Thats it! Nothing more!
Finding that someone who genuinely wants to share their lives with you; is the best feeling ever
If you can get that beyond a magical idealism
yea if u can find her
@@goldienakamoto7894 who's he?! I never met her.
The wife and I will be celebrating 21 years this summer. I can say having someone who has been there through the good and the bad is an indescribable feeling.
I might consider a relationship with AGI if I am alive then. For now I have to pretend with Chat GPT. At least that one knows proper code. You can even get it to talk dirty to you. I had a long discussion about the definition of filth the other day. Very illuminating.
Very insightful message, I am 19, and it has been a long time fighting loneliness.
In my experience, I do spend the majority of my time alone. I do try to be with other people, meet strangers, share ideas, and I´ve had fond memories that shape how I see currently the world for the better.
One thing I lack is intimacy. Sometimes, in those moments that you are by only yourself get tough, it is a burden you have to carry, and I am certain that it carries its tolls in my psyche.
I am grateful for the people that are by my side, and I was aware that some people are in the same situation.
If I can tell you something to remember is, to not lose hope. There are ups and downs, but life has incredible experiences to offer. One key component to meet incredible people is to become one.
Apologies if there are some grammar mistakes, english isn´t my primary language
Good luck on your journey.
You're 19. You've been in the dating market for only a few years, and most people don't even have serious relationships until their 20s.
You're not lacking intimacy, you're just young. Don't give up before the race has even started bro.
as a fellow 19 year old i wish you happiness in life
lmao you're 19. How long could it possibly have been? If you feel like it's taking a toll on you, that probably has more to do with social pressure and the like.
Uh you’re 19. Still a teenager. A lot of people don’t even start dating until after high school so you’re at most a year behind some of your peers. You really can’t have been fighting loneliness all that long, unless we’re talking in general, not in a romantic sense. You’re at a perfectly normal age to be single or not even dating yet. What we’re taking about here is people in their mid to late 20s and 30s not finding relationships after years upon years of being single. It’s not really the same, no offense. You have plenty of time.
@@ImortalZeus13 It used to be normal to have dated by high school. He's not weird for feeling this way, society is weird for depriving him in a way none of his ancestors would have had to feel. The way we've structured things has put relationships at risk, and he's not at fault for acknowledging it.
If you have ever felt happy or sad and you have someone at home who can at least always be an ear to that, it makes a difference
It’s so annoying when women say “we are not your emotional support!” As if it’s hard to just LISTEN to us when we voice our feelings.
Then they complain that men don’t share their feelings. Lmao
Modern day women are a joke man. And I blame all the woman influencers on these social medias. More so on tik tok. Brainwashing other young women to be in that toxic cycle.
Just become an incel and study the bible or something like that
Unless they use your pain and sadness as ammunition in the future
Unless you're depressed
This.
Tbh. Aba n preach videos made me a better person overall. N I just appreciate how balanced and self-aware they are with their takes.
Fr I feel the same. I always feel I learned something listening to them.
Donovan Sharpe and Rollo Tomassi's burner troll accounts are going to come after you for saying this. 😂
I agree with this. They changed my perspective on a lot of things, I believe for the better.
It's because of competition and females having to many options on online dating and it's not fair for us men, average men are no different from average women but yet they get more options and we don't and that's the sad part 🤷🏽♂️
Agreed, I think a commentary youtuber provides good content when it pushes you to think and therefore agree or disagree with them on your own free will.
Sometimes I disagree with Aba's takes, sometimes I agree. I think that's the best point of their channel.
Why more men self-report being single than women?
-The way a lot of women define being single is different than the way most men define being single
-Some women are sleeping with the same playboy (FB groups : "are we dating the same guy?") and mistake their situationship for a real relationship
-Admittedly there might be more bi women than men?
-A lot of younger women are dating older men
That's true.
I wouldn't be shocked to find out if women had more lesbians/bisexuals.
be it real or fake.
I hear a lot of women self report, that when they go off the pill, suddenly their attraction for men shows up out of nowhere or suddenly becomes far stronger.
and considering how many women are on the pill, and how that fucks up your hormones, I could imagine there are slightly more bisexual/lesbian women than gay/bi men.
Also, gay women exist
Bisexuals are just sex addicts with an excuse
@@xcobmi he said that already
I think one of the things that Aba said rings true, I’m 22 and have not had a single relationship. Adding on to that I’m already behind due to unforeseeable circumstances, I don’t have a car and much less a place of my own. Who’s going to be confident about that? Who’s going to want to date that? So it sucks knowing that I gotta wait a few more years to even have a CHANCE at trying to date someone. I’m gonna try my best not to lose my mind at least. Thanks for the content guys.
Ask an older woman out
Nah. You're 22 lol. Who tf has their shit together at 22? Listen to men like Jordan Peterson and improve yourself more, get along with women more and you'll see. One will stick. 👌🏿
I've only ever dated guys who don't have their own places. I'm a 26 year old woman.❤
Listen to Castillo. Some Waste men get mad gyal haha. But seriously, I moved back home after a breakup so I don’t have my own place at 28 and only earn middle class wages. I have had nooooo problem getting girls. Don’t let ur current circumstance hold u back. Will the quality maybe get better when u up ur game money wise…… maybe. But if u can’t get a single date now at 22 any girl u get later is likely in it for ur credit card. So be careful with that.
@@zizi5721 90% of women already had sex by 22
@@zizi5721 people used to be able to to have their shit together at 22. Us in the US not being financially stable until our 30s is a decades-recent modern invention, not a mainstay of a functional culture.
The reason women might handle being single better is because for most women they usually doing the rejecting so being single for them is a choice but for men when you have to keep putting yourself out there and keep getting rejected that shit brutal. A big lesson i learnt from young is never take rejection personally and work on being the best version of myself, that includes being in good shape, having hobbies, being an interesting conversationalist, and treating women like any other human being and not a special unicorn to be afraid of.
Ladies above 25 have a harder time attracting guys.
Also, women tend to build lasting friendships with other women and will stick close to their grandmothers mother, aunts, sister and female family members. I met some women who have their own mom commune after a divorce, spousal death or just bring a single parent. They all took turns taking care of each others kids and split helping with homework based on academic strengths. A few bought homes togethers and properties for passive income. It was amazing how well they supported each other. There were even two women who were just single and had no interest dating often. Statistically, women seek therapy more than men and discuss their issues. I think everyone is just tired too. Maslow’s Hierarchy is at play too.
@@IYeleven That's because by the time modern women hit 25 they've got body counts in the hundreds.
Women are never single. Someone is always fucking them, usually multiple thems.
@user-kt3uh1lk6d you'd be surprised
I’m turning 30 in may and realized after my last relationship and losing my mom that I need to live life for moments with my family. I moved with my dad and brother in Florida and have been so much happier.
Rip to your mom
family matters. a lot.
Sorry about your mom. It is one of the hardest things you can go through life and you made a good choice.
Yeah if you’re blessed with a family, that relationship runs deeper than anything. And my regrets generally stem from not spending more time with them and doing more things.
Living at home at 30 no wonder ur not happy
Aba was spot on with the statement of people arguing from the worse standards possible. How can you position yourself for something good when all you're anticipating is something bad? The drive to create and find genuinely positive interactions with yourself and others is plummeting. I commend anyone who's fighting this fall we're in now.
If you stop fighting to live a lonely life it’s gonna kill you that’s why we keep trying. If we stop looking then u know what happens after that… I mean cuz girls majority of the time don’t look for the guy (that should change
Fight for wahmen, you guys. You can pay spousal support to at least 5 californian live-in ex girlfriends if you do 2x 8hour shifts monday through friday and a part time hustle on weekends.
Worst case scenario you get falsely accused and the state pays for you food/health/lodging. 👌🏻😉👍🏻
It's not that you're rooting for the bad things. it's just pragmatic optimism. But when your optimism rarely gets rewarded (no mater what you're doing/modifying) knowing that the girl you see and want you will never get, you have to now plan ahead for a woman 7 years younger (if youre 21 you want a chick 14...then wait 4 hours..now youre 25, hoping she doesnt die or get traumatized beyond recognition, combating predatory grooming outrage) and the juice isn't worth the squeeze, then you have to make a decision is the "benefit worth the cost?"
Or maybe optimisim has nothing to do with it when relationships are killed before they start. Men are single because women already no longer date 50% of men
@@moonknight4053 What If you just prefer to be single like me. I'd rather be single than be a relationship, i dont care what people say. Not everyone needs to be in a relationship to be happy.
My cousin who is 27 year old woman, is getting married to a 32 year old man. My mom was 27 married to my dad who was 30. Its not a crazy age difference. Women prioritize stability first, most normal women aren’t looking for lavish either, they want their partner to have a job, some ambition, so they can plan for a house and kids.
yep
Having a family was not even on my radar as a young adult but it’s crazy how life got 100x better when my husband and son entered the picture
Everything’s better when you aren’t looking
It's sad how many people are pushing sterilizing procedures on kids as young as 12 and taking this choice away from them entirely.
@@Big_talks. truest thing in the world that statement.
Aba is speaking mad truth here. I almost "self deleted" and it was because of my divorce. She took everything from me, especially my kids. I have been wandering about but never really living since. I need to heal but it's hard when you have no one. I work constantly yet never make enough. I really have no one. I clung to a terrible woman that bad mouths me constantly, just to get some sort of fellowship umongst another. When I was married, people would ask, "how are you?" I would always say, "stressed but highly blessed". Now my answer is, "surviving".
Broootal
There are definitely worse fates than staying single. I hope your situation improves.
I was there for a while. Now I'm not. I'm still single and intend to remain single, but the loneliness is gone. I didn't think it would ever go away but it did. Now I'm turning down dates with girls I had feelings for for years. I have zero desire to surrender this peace that's taken me so long to find. It's better than any happiness I've experienced. I hope you find it too.
Boo hoo
Its tough out there. Wish u all the good my guy. Noone with a decent soul, diserves to go through life miserable like that.
As a man, there are so many boxes that need to be ticked to get women's attention and that's why older men tend to have more to offer and why women tend to flock around hyper successful men.
Do I feel sad?. Yes. Do I feel lonely?. Yes but here's the thing. It made me question "what is love?". Now at the age of 32 I realised that in today's world, love is discrimination.
I'm not going to shit on women alone because I know men who have their own version of discrimination based on weight, beauty, bodycounts and etc but again the same question. "What is love then?" when everything is under the disguise of "preferences" and "standards". Is "love" supposed to be this shallow?
I might sound dumb and naive but I'd rather stay miserably single until I meet a woman who knows this and sees love in a broader way like I do because if not then what's "love"?.
Man with women it’s always been about resources and status. Nothing has really changed except their delusional expectations and them destroying themselves. Men and women love differently. A man wants a loyal woman he can take care of. A woman wants a man’s resources, status and protection.
Sadly that's what love has always been. People mainly tend to like someone for a specific reason, whether it's looks, personality, talent, resources, or a combination of these. The term 'love' is then slapped on afterwards. Sometimes people do fall in love with who someone is rather than what someone is, but even in such cases love is rarely abstract. I'm really curious to know what your 'broader' definition of love is, as I doubt anyone can love without having a minimum set of standards/preferences
You're "conflating" love and "attraction".
Bro quoted Vinland saga and thought we wouldn't notice
It’s a double edged sword man trust me. I just got into shape. I still live at home tho. I make okay money but the idea of roommates disgusts me lol. But honestly dating when I was skinny and slightly addicted to drugs/partying was much easier to navigate. Back then they actually liked what I was dishing out. Now it doesn’t matter what I dish out. Which makes it all feel mad shallow. And that shit ain’t worth it.
I can attest to it, had a friend who was a orphan, in a national team for a sport, he was doing well at university, had lots of friends and then found out that his gf cheated on him and when confronting her she broke up with him, he jumped in front of a train that same night.
You can have everything, but unless you have companionship with someone you love, be it family or a partner it's all not really worth much.
I'm sorry for your loss. That had to be so horrible to experience 🫂
Devastating story. 😔
Why? Like he could of just got another gf.
@@frankremedy5406many men believe in a fairytale ending and always think that their girls is the, 'one'.
@@frankremedy5406 You clearly never suffered a serious breakup
it’s so hard to find someone these days. especially when i’m doing not financially well and trying to find myself. however i think young women also have a lot of problems these days that a lot of young men (including me) just don’t want to deal with.
The Philippines is a good place to start as an example
And it's good for you to be single because if you don't want to deal with the responsibilities of a relationship the best is to stay single. Relationships have benefits but also responsibilities and some people just want the benefits without the responsibilities.
@@paolalagos2634 it's baggage, not the responsibility, we men don't want to deal with.
@@abdulkarim56239 and that's alright, No women wants to deal with baggage. Nobody wants to deal with baggage but that unrealistic we all have baggage whether is from parents, relationship, work etc.
My baggage is my responsibility and my boyfriend's baggage is his, but that doesn't mean we don't support each other to be better.
If you guys want people without baggage then don't have baggage yourself.
@@paolalagos2634 i’m not really talking about the responsibilities. a lot of women have different values or beliefs that i don’t align with. an example would be like she does polygamy, shows off her body (in a sexual manner) on social media, etc.. now granted that’s not all women and i understand that some people are okay with that, but that is just stuff that i’m not okay with and don’t find attractive at all
Both of y'all hit some major key points and I concur. As a young single guy, I've learned to drop my ego and hold myself accountable at all times. I always look at what I did wrong first. I'm not giving up on it though; I need the experience in relationships in order to get to know women better. My confidence is growing as I progress, but as you said it's hard to be confident when you don't have anything to point to at that young age. I'm not losing hope, in the face of a mountain I'm still climbing.
You will definitely find a partner with that mentality 💯
Become like Gigachad and play some Gigachad songs via piano 🎹
@@christiansnaturestudio6599 I once got told playing keyboard was the most effeminate and unattractive instrument by a woman so even being a musician isn’t a guarantee of anything lol 😂
@Sir Surname the First of his Name what lol, dude who doesn't want an awesome piano player playing GigaChad?
Stand strong 💪🏿💪🏿💪🏿💪🏿
I’ve been ALONE my entire life.
When I was young (30 below), it was a struggle cause I felt like I needed to be with ppl. Now I’ve found so much comfort by myself that I don’t feel anything towards wanting to be with others. I’ve started to resent being around ppl cause of the self absorbed/selfish/grandiose nature of ppl. It’s like everyone feels they are the main character of a story no one gives a F*€k about.
nice man
keep it up
I'm 19 and feel that way about people too
Other people just complicate my life.
Been trying to connect with people my whole life. Stopped trying after high school because of this very reason.
I got a girlfriend just as I was going through that transition. It’s got weird effects. How women treat me today doesn’t even resemble how they treated me in my 20s but I don’t feel any different inside.
@@TheFelzix how old are you now
I’ve never been in a relationship and probably never will be. Not so much because I’ve checked out, but because I was checked out of it. I’m just not good enough in terms of looks, height and the value I can bring. Add to that the fact I have social anxiety and you have pretty much an impossible situation to ever get into a relationship. What sucks about all this is that unlike some people who manage well being alone, I really don’t.
felt im ugly broke and short im doomed but hey what can ya do
@@itookaxaniaintdieyet1893facts, im short and broke plus i just cant be normal talking to girls as ive legit never done that, im 20 but I feel like the way I grew up made it impossible for me to get into a relationship.
Anxiety sucks dude, I’m basically in the same boat. I feel like I was robbed of it all (relationships and intimacy) due to it. Add to the fact the options for treatment are dogshit. Medication is a crapshoot and therapy won’t take away the physical symptoms. I’m with you man
@@jpolka24 medication is fake and gey
how short are yall specifically? I'm 5'8. I feel like once you're in 5'10+ territory you're safe, 6'0+ being ideal
My husband and I met at 21, married at 24, first kid the same year, second kid at 27. We have worked really hard to be where we are today. It’s become interesting to reflect on a decade with someone. We settled for love and sturdy goals. By the time we are both 40 we’ll be able to do all the things we want to do and share it with our kids old enough to really enjoy it. We wanted to start young and work to grow tougher. When you literally share a life with someone and it’s healthy it’s really amazing to have an unspoken experience shared
Sounds awesome! Like, for real, to face challenges together and such. Now it seems like women (as I'm a man) much prefer a ready and complete man to date, while themselves facing mental health issues.
Yeah, man. You won! Congratulations! Can I ask how you and your partner met?
I have observed that those are the best and most stable relationship, when people marry young to their soulmate when they have nothing, but build up together. Sadly most people don't chose that model
Sounds like you weren't shopping for a partner on Ig. Well done,
Now imagine what it feels like to be at 23 and have everyone you ever met ignore you, at best, or use you at worst. I haven't even had my first kiss.
And I find it unreasonable why the world talks down to me to somehow rationalize the fact that I mean nothing to anybody is somehow an okay thing. It hurts. And I think about it every day. It's debilitating in every mondain process and daily occurrence. I see how other people live. I see how others not only have access to goals, but are talked to with consideration while I am treated like less than human. It's not about sex, but being weaved out of the entirety of any shared human connection at all. It's upsetting. Because I live in a very scary reality where the only person who seems to care about me IS me.
I'm glad you mentioned the "younger girls like older guys" thing. It's so cringe when people try to act like age gap relationships, especially the 5-10 year age gaps are in any way weird. Especially after a woman is 25+ years old, I refuse to infantilize women and act like they are incapable of having a relationship with an older man.
Yeh I think it’s only weird when the girl is under 21 or still in univeristy
i think it always depends where you personally draw that line. An 18 year old dating someone a decade older than them is never not going to be weird and seemingly predatory but once you reach a certain point an age difference doesn’t really mean anything
A lot of women are not capable of having a relationship with older men, and they know that, and thats why they do it. They want a guy who's *more* than them
5 year age gap is the AVERAGE for married couples in western cultures and has been for 100 ish years.
Exactly, I was a grown ass man at 20 and would've been insulted if somebody called me a child
In my younger years, I was definitely more attracted to older women. The girls my age just had no interest in getting their lives sorted out and often I had to do so many things on their behalf - they just couldn’t figure out the common routines that the rest of us have (ie: getting a parking space and paying, ordering at a restaurant, etc).
To me, a woman with mental and emotional maturity and a good intellect was exactly the change of pace I needed.
Lost all my direct family a couple of years ago. I can vouch on what you say.
With no loved ones, nothing I use to love doing is worth doing. It doesn't even stop there, ultimately even pride becomes redundant, in the sense that how can one be proud at something they excel if every victory is celebrated alone.
Honestly, I struggle just to see the day finish on a day to day basis.
Real
I truly sympathize for anyone in the dating scene. I’m 31 and I’m going 11 yrs this year being married to my husband. We were very young and we may not have it all but I’m so thankful to have someone supportive, helpful, attentive etc. We’re all just trying our best in this world.
Thank you for sharing
😏
Thanks for rubbing your easy-mode life success in everyone's face.
@@shanegrayson7068 touch grass
@@welfarecrusader6855 cope. Where's the lie?
I'm at a place in life where I'm 3 years out of college and making around 60K in a field I only studied for due to stability and salary growth potential so I don't like my job but I never have to worry about bills but my job basically demands most of my time and I'm alone with no prospects of a relationship. The thought "Why am I even doing this?" Passes my mind every day. There's only so much you can enjoy by yourself before you wish you had someone to enjoy something with.
I’m in the exact same spot. I feel exactly the same. I hope things get better on your end
@Logan bro I literally said that to myself last night like all this working and it's like no time for anything else just feels empty
@@dstroxp Sorry to hear that my friend. I dont know what the solution is
I feel you there. I'm just getting to a number in my investments where it can reliably generate passive income. 70K a year and I'm good, but once I hit that point, I don't see the point in working anymore. I'd rather just do what I love whether I'm getting paid from it or not. I'm at 63K and women treat that like it's one step above poverty.
Go rent a cheap apartment in South America or Asian and just take a few years off and date tons of girls
I went a lot of my 20’s single, in debt, living with my mom, and going bald and depressed.
I just celebrated my 30th where I’m living with my 25 year old gf. Make above median income, got decent money saved up, and I added probably 40-50 pounds of muscle.
Take one red pill, not the whole bottle. Work on yourself. Stay humble.
Not the whole bottle 🤣🤣
That is fantastic advice. One pill, not the whole bottle.
Do you consider yourself part of the older guys crowd they're talking about in the video ?
@@_TDS_ i think they are talking about dating significantly out of your age range. 30 and 25 is young.
@@_TDS_ What dude above ^ said. It's not a massive age difference at that point. If it was 23 and 18, it's a little more noticeable
I love this UA-cam channel so much. It give me such great insight on how men feel and it makes me so sad to see how men still feel like they can’t share how they feel because of how people with tease or demean them. I just wanna say to all the guys out there we appreciate you and even if some don’t I do your valuable and I really appreciate the insight you guys give me when I come and watch this channel. the comment section always leave me with something new to learn about you guys. Thank you!
i dont think men should be allowed to talk about their feelings, wen they dismiss and degrade women so much for being 'emotional and not logical'
most guys don't care eut u gotta say, if u really wanna start a revolution, u can't, its biblical that in the end times women always betray men. for example in the days of noah, the women cheated with angels called the watchers and gave birth to giants
I spent 10 years in the military. Dating then wasn’t an issue. I was in good shape, confident, had regular pay that was “disposable,” and I was always stationed around low income areas of the country.
I gout out of the service the middle of the 2010s. Dated for 1 year. The expectations were so unrealistic that I simply stopped. Women wanted to move into my house almost immediately. They wanted my time and attention in ways that I found infantile from women in their mid and late 20s. Eventually, I stopped merely to provide myself with the peace of mind I sought. It’s been 6 years since I gave up on dating entirely.
2 dogs, a simple life, and complete freedom to do whatever I want whenever I want is worth the absence of a woman in my life. I even quit my job last year because I have the freedom and capability to do so.
This video is well appreciated. Being a guy at 23, you guys hit all the notes. I just try to tell myself things will get better when I hit my stride, start making money, etc. But, yeah it’s hard out here 💀
Bro same🤝
Same dawg 😮💨👏🏾
Same and I’m turning 21 in July
This video came out with good timing. It’s my 33rd birthday today, and this topic’s been on my mind. I got married and divorced young, so my 20’s have been spent in financial and emotional recovery. Now I’m at that crossroad cuz I see the mess I would have to jump into. Anyone else in this same boat?
Broo! That’s exactly why I don’t want to get married. I don’t want a girl to become a liability at 20 or any point of my life.
Happy birthday, Don.
I'm 33 in October!
I'm in the same boat, albeit, I'm looking to retire in two years and move overseas, from England, to South America or Asia.
@@mynamesNev prenuptial agreements exists. Doesn't mean you don't love her just means you have a rainy day fund in case of divorce hopefully it never comes
Welcome to the culture, brother.
Sorry to hear that. Not in the same boat just waving as our boats pass
Coming home and having someone who is there to support you and is on your side no matter what is incredibly powerful. It's also empowering and almost therapeutic to be there for someone and know you're a rock for them to lean against. I'm regularly on both sides of this dynamic. It adds untold stability to my life.
True. But if you're someone, like me, who doesn't like sex but still desires to just have a companion, you're also doomed to be eternally isolated. No one wants to spend the rest of their life with someone if they're not going to have sex with them because most people want that. I'm just weird in that area. So, I've mostly isolated myself from society. I don't go out. I work from home. I don't really have any friends (they're all married or partnered off with their own lives and families) and I've lost interest in hobbies I used to enjoy like video games and making music. There is no one to share my life with because I'm not a sexual person. Obviously, I deserve to be cut off from society. That may or may not be sarcasm.
@@vegetaismydad5382 - Lol, we may need to make a dating app for asexuals because I’m in the same boat. I’ve accepted that I’ll either be alone my whole life, or will have to make a deal with my partner that they have a perpetual “hall pass” as long as they stay clean and safe.
Being young and so isolated is a weird thing. I’m 25 for context.
I’m making progress in my career/have ambitions, good relationships with family and long-time friends, have fulfilling hobbies, and grow in wisdom and strength continually. There’s always something in the back of my mind, though.
At night, when I lay down for another night without a loving embrace and warm body next to me, a part of me rots and decays. I have to carry around this invisible and steadily-growing repressed pain, and I’m thankful that I’m getting stronger at a similar rate that the pain grows.
I had a 3-year relationship before, and have since been single for 4 years. I still try every once in a while, but I’ve largely detached from the notion of a loving romantic relationship. I’ve 90% given up, and now focus almost exclusively on things in my control. And one of the worst things is that my elderly parents probably won’t live to see a wedding or grandkids from me. They don’t get why I’m still alone and I can’t explain it.
Thanks for letting me vent lool
Bla bla bla not reading allat
@@darkmidnight818 CRINGE, read it you lazy blackie
Study buddhism.
@@darkmidnight818 it’s a few lines on a UA-cam comment not war&peace
@@darkmidnight818 😂
This problem is a mix of Generation Z superficiality, social media, and the fast pace of life these days. This leads to loneliness and unstable relationships.
It started years ago already. This goes for a part of the millenials as well.
As if the Generations X and Y/Millennials are any better.
I’m 42. While in my 20s and 30s I had dudes approaching me talking about getting married before our first date even happened. I still don’t understand why people some people rush forward with such important decisions.
@@GeometricPidgeon Yes, of course, this also applies in part to Millenials. I myself was born in 1986 and know the same problems from friends. Moreover, the Boomers said the same things about us as we now say about Gen Z. 😂
@@ptolemeeselenion1542 they're not, gen x and millennials are just as bad but gen z is definitely worse by far.
I feel like I hit dating at an interesting time. I was 22 and just out of college in 2005 before Tinder and dating apps took off. I could meet women easily at bars and didn't really struggle to find dates. I then went to Grad school and worked full time from 2008-2010. When I started dating again, I noticed it was more online. I had the hardest time getting women to go on dates. I finally gave up. I met my wife while out with friends one night when I wasn't looking at all. I finally got married at 38. Good luck out there guys
I have to admit that I have never online dated and have been out of dating for a long time in a long term relationship with kids.
But I think you are right here. Get off the internet, join clubs, volunteer and make friends.
Then you will meet women in person.
Wait most people were online in 2010? Tinder didn't come out until 2013 and even then there was a huge stigma of people using online apps being desperate and losers or skeptic of meeting people online. I know match and eHarmony was a thing in the early days
@@Ulises21500 you had many other dating apps before tinder which is why so many guys say it was easy before tinder facebook and instagram even for me.
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I was in my teenage years it was really easy but around the age of 21 things did start to become really difficult.
How I got a gf:
Me asking women out = friend zoned, ghosted, rejected
Women asking me out = hot (yes) else (no)
@@denzel9455 only apps we're eHarmony and match maybe but like i said there was always a huge stigma around using online apps on those times anywahs
it's so heartwarming to see these videos at the very least. these days even if you talk about your struggles you are called "toxic" and you must be ashamed of yourself.
As a 34 yo woman who recently entered the dating market, I believe the problem is mass consumption of internet content. When I first started dating I looked towards the internet to get an understanding of dating and it felt like this ridiculous gender war that highlights the worst on each side. I still don’t get how people can tolerate Tinder and I recently learned that’s how most people meet. I think there needs to be a BIG PUSH from all sides of the internet to get people out there and talking to each other. I recently went to an adult arcade that hosted their second singles night in 6 months with everyone getting 2 free drinks on entry and IT WAS PACKED with people playing video, games, chatting, and mingling I met so many people including friends. They were mostly mid 30’s which made me wonder about why the younger generation wasn’t present. I think if there was a company to come along and host these monthly in various cities and advertise it with a big push from influencers as well to get their guys out we can start reversing that number.
Yup. The Gender war online is ridiculous. All they do is talk about the worst attributes of either sex as if everyone has the same flaws.
All they need to do is socialize and realise that people aren't as bad as the picture Internet chatter is drawing.
We aren't so different at our core. People just want to be loved and find joy in a mutually respectful companionship.
Another very important factor is manners. Good manners will solve so many problems.
I've been saying this for ages. Thank god someone agrees.
I HATE ONLINE GENDER WARS. Really despise them
@@kamu747 and when you even suggest not all women and men are the same. They start acting like you're the dumb one.
I, now aged 42 with one child from a lengthy prior relationship, consider myself someone who has completely checked out of dating with broad disinterest in jumping back in the game but if there was a singles night held at an arcade in the area there's actually a decent chance that might be the one thing that might get me not only out but out and open to meet new people.
I have been in a few long term serious relationships. And I can tell you that being single is what helped me realize that I don't need to be in a relationship. It's one thing to not know what you are missing. It's another to know all that you are gaining and losing by being single, and still choosing to be single.
So true,you can't really apreciate being single until youve been in a bad relationship
Chad ❤
Exactly. For me, it was the amount of time I got back. You don't realize how much time women like wasting until you're in a long term relationship with one. Even little shit like not gathering her stuff before I park the car starts to piss you off. All they have is a hole, and you can buy a hole for 60 bucks or fly to Phuket. So all women really offer these days is momentary stress relief, but then when you realize they are the cause of most of your stress, it's a wash. They start to look like the drug dealer lining their shit with fentanyl to try and turn you into an addict and I'm not playing their game anymore.
@@Bonesawisready926 Yeah sounds like being single is what's the best for you. I just hope you heal and find true love you'll one day marry and build family if that's what you want in future.
What u may be referring to is the relief that comes from ending a toxic relationship. Very different from having something beautiful and healthy, that concludes because you want different things
Okay there are TWO factors to this number. You nailed one of them. Younger women go for older men. At least slightly older even on average. So the guys over 29 are dating girls in that 18-29 range. TWO and you missed it. There are probably dudes piping girls who defined it as a relationship in the study and the guys said they are single. And 3 there are dudes out there casually dating multiple women and all of the women said it was a relationship and he thinks he’s single (has happened to me)
haha i was thinking this. My dad always called his girlfriends `friends`. They were within the same age group but many ppl dont claim the person they are actively with.
This!!!!!!!!!
Yes, exactly.
It's basically polyamory with extra steps.
@Taneisha
True , I don't understand why, unless folks are married they don't claim the current., it's worse with younger groups... 😆 even girls do the same where I'm from, folks just hump and claim nothing, and they say they doing it to protect their boyfriend from their own friends???. It's sad the older I get, I worry for my kids future.
As a single man I just don't have any interest in relationships or dating at the moment. I'm in this weird state of just trying to get by and not wanting to deal with other peoples issues cause I have enough of my own. Life is hard and sometimes you just want to be alone and figure it out. I'm sure I am not the only one in this boat.
I know a lot of young men that feel exactly the same way as you and honestly, just take your time until you feel ready. There's no point in dating if you're not even feeling like it. I hope you'll get through it and wish you the best, I'm sure you'll figure your life out.
Bro I am a 30 years old black man truck driver otr and want to start a business I want to get financial freedom before 40s i am focused on myself and a lot of depression because I am not where I am supposed to be yet in life if someone mentally you not ready it's better to work on yourself first
I give up today
I'm the same way , but I'm never lonely . That lonely is an American shaming tactic so that we start simping after women and chase women .
Men hold the key to commitment and should always hold it.
Same. Between Uni and work there's barely any free time and barely any free money, i spend most of the free time trying to get a healthy full sleep or with my boys playing co-op games. I just got no time for relationships and with the state of it today, i don't think it's even worth to bother about it.
This is why if I have a son I'm going to instill value of male friendship. Its one of the pivotal things I'm going to set up in their life.
It's not easy for men, it's hard for them to find a woman in their early days. What can we do to help with that? Make sure they have a friend group as that social safety net so their loneliness isn't determined by women's dating choices.
We need to promote men and women falling in love but we also have to promote parents ensuring their boys grow up with love in their life through friendship for those moments they are single and can still have a social life they enjoy.
very important!!!
Men only ever really only value their male friends anyway
This is great. But I want to point out. A big part of this problem is that lot of men are shitty friends. It's actually hard to find good ones. The single best thing you can do is keep your son OFF the computer. And AWAY from the video games. That 'subculture' sadly is super super toxic. And I say this as a gamer and computer person myself. It's almost impossible to get my 'friends' to do anything. Even my best friend complains like a bitch that I live "soo far away" when I'm less than hours walk away. And it's only that long because of the big ass hills and the windy European streets. Without traffic, I'm barely a 10 minutes drive away.
@@jamesespinosa690 this is the truth
From what my single friends have told me it’s mostly the fact they don’t ever feel appreciated by their SO, or they don’t want to even try and navigate the mess of the dating world.
It’s sad, a positive healthy relationship is such a beautiful thing to be in and it’s so sad to see so many people close to me suffer without that in their life.
I feel so blessed to have my husband at 10 years the love is deeper. Not always easy but it can bring you closer. we believe we are soulmates and have loved in another life....cheesy but it's just so different than anything. worth the inner work.
You can kind of see it in these comments. Relationships are a social skill that can be developed. Instead of learning how to talk to people, you got all these little boys giving up because it's hard. Furthermore, some are even blaming women or imaginary persecution for them being single. It's tough out there, but if you give up that's all you ever gonna be.
@@rw5622 women admit that approaching men is difficult and they feel insecure
So lay off the insults, approaching women/ anyone isn't easy for some and it's not their fault
sadly i can honestly relate and i'm a guy going on 4 years being single
what does "appreciated" mean to them? some people have too high standards from media so they think the relationship is a failure at the first sign of conflict.
As a 25 year old who’s never been in a relationship. I’m not surprised by this statistic. Dating is really hard. And you guys are spot on most women go for older guys because of their financial stability. Financial stability takes awhile to actually have. I’m surprised that some women are shocked by this especially considering the amount of women I’ve met younger, older, and the same age as me that trash the men their own age and especially talk bad about men younger than them. I’m not going to complain about it and think most men realize this and just as except things as they are and learn to deal with it and eventually learn to make it bend in their favor. I’m still working on becoming the man I want to be and setting a foundation for myself for when I become older. Since then I’ve come to realize I don’t really have much time for a relationship since being on my journey. I have decided that if I do meet someone great and if I don’t then I’ll just have to deal with it then
Women know this they choose to understand.
You also have to keep in mind that biologically we mature faster than men. I always felt like I had to coddle men that were under 25-26. I want a partner, not to be a caretaker or therapist. It’s just nature. My best advice is also that the best relationships happen when you’re not even seeking one out. Trying to force it on dating apps seems to lead to a lot of defeat and depression/disillusionment in young men. But it’s because dating apps are mainly based on image and a tiny bio that is curated and not at all reflective of someone’s true self. I met my husband through our shared friend group and oil painting community. Everyone I know that is now married or engaged did so through luck of meeting that person out in the world as well.
The hookup culture is a cancer
@@InTheNameOfLife1 LOL men are screwed and suicide rates will sky rocket, it's over.
@@PuertoRicanGrinderX that’s a symptom of chronically online culture that tells young women to make their whole personality about s*xual attention and superficial pursuits well past their 20s. The suic*de rates are growing exponentially, yes. But you don’t have to be screwed. refuse to participate in the toxic online apps and game. Everyone I know, including myself, that is married or engaged in our 20s have done so by meeting someone offline and through mutual friends/hobbies. Every guy I know that is in his thirties and on tinder seems incredibly defeated and disillusioned. And I strongly believe it’s because those apps are chalked full of the wrong intentions and superficial egos. I have one male friend that just turned 30, he has his own luxury condo and thriving financial consulting business and he’s incredibly attractive! But he’s getting more and more depressed and hurt and only pursues women on Tinder. I know this is anecdotal but it is a common theme amongst my friends. The best relationships happen when you least expect it/ don’t try and force it.
As a 24 years old man, who has never been in a relationship, this feeling of being single, with no end in sight it just starts to eat you from the inside. I have friends, I make social interraction, I like to exchange with people, but dating app not working for the majority of man, not a lot of women in my work environment, I just feel very sad, cause I just want to love and be love
I am the same age as you. I just turned 24 a few days ago and I did asked out countless with each bravery approaches via cold approaches. I got blocked by some afterwards, got ghosted, rejected and many of them turned out to be already in a relationship. Even if I have a billion dollars, life without intimacy from a woman you value a lot is pointless.
I wish I could just turn that biological inclination off, just to be able to not feel any emotional pull for companionship. It sucks to feel like I am missing out on the human experience. I try to ignore my feelings, but its hard. @@christiansnaturestudio6599
Im 27, pretty hollow inside.. never had a real gf and whenever girls interested in me, i cringe cause theres gotta be a motive or some bs game they playing, no way they can actually like me
@andrewevans7992 It's hard to trust strangers nowadays when you're older. Dating is so much harder for us guys.
@@christiansnaturestudio6599 sure is, i even have women who i never spoke to before try to ruin my potential relationships with other women cause they jealous or hate me for whatever reason. I hate most of them and cant trust them either
They're both so damn right, it's about the companionship, the intimacy, being made to feel like you really exist to someone that cares about you. I feel as though that's been missing from my life for a long time. I'm 27 and I sometimes ask myself what's the point? I talk to my ex sometimes to get done semblance of those feelings but ahhh just ain't the same
Agree to disagree. Maybe it because I've never felt pressed to the desire to be with someone. Maybe it is because the relationships I had didn't work out despite my best efforts. But the most miserable and stressed I've been in my life is in a relationship. Might be times changing, and people priorities don't line up with mine. Damn every relationship I leave feels like breathing fresh air again. And some weren't even that crazy. Some people just do better alone. And I don't mean isolated, you still keep up with fam and friends but bruh. I get a shiver thinking about dealing with someone's bullshit again.
I never knew what's it's like to feel mutual attraction and only I have received unrequited love
I completely agree with you. Some of these discussions about relationships try to reduce the narrative to a single point of view. E.g. a MGTOW will say 'Being single/unmarried is better', and in this case Aba and Preach say 'Being single isn't ideal'. Neither point of view is 100% right o wrong. Just like most people are right-handed and a few people are left-handed, most people want to be in a relationship but not everyone. Some people genuinely enjoy being on their own.
always better to be alone than with with a "wrong" person
always better to be with a "right" person than to be alone
This. I think friends and family are enough for me personally.
At least you can recognize your own ignorance. Relationships aren't for everyone but it's very possible you just haven't been in a healthy fulfilling one before. If you not feeling it, stay single for a while and see how it goes.
These are facts... as a young man it was rough and didn't get better till I started approaching 30 and in my 30s was like dating on easy mode. Me and my friends were surprised at how bold younger women were in coming after us.
Same here, just turned 30 and it’s starting to get a little easier talking to women. I still hate human beings though, we’re so shallow
This doesn't make that much sense men in their 30s are becoming overweight and balding, less attractive than younger men
@@randomhuman2595 nah bald is attractive when it's clean shaven. It's just those half stage bald that's weird. remember that mrclean Superbowl commercial had woman going crazy.🤣
@Spots Corner 30 is still very young. I think your have until 45 before you start becoming to old. I know 4 couple of mid 20s and mids thirties. Disagree on giving up here.
@@cheyannewatkins whilst I agree 30 is too young to give up you’ve got to think about how old you’ll be by the time your youngest child is actually a capable adult and move on, e.g. if you have your last kid at 40, you’ll be 58 by the time they reach 18 (and even that doesn’t mean they’re fully mature and responsible because we all know how dumb 18 year olds still are) your body and mind will already be degrading before your children even move out into their own places and have their own lives, especially with housing being so expensive it’s not unusual to expect them in your house well into their 20s by which point you are near to retirement and still have your kids in the house😅
Now in my 30s, it has only gotten harder to date because 1) I work nights doing IT work 2) Never was considered attractive despite being in better shape now (lost over 60 lbs over the past few years), and 3) I want to adopt and/or foster rather than have my own kids. I have worked on myself over the years, by losing weight, traveling, earning 3 degrees and some IT certs, going to therapy and getting help for my mental health, but it seems it is still not enough. The main thing that really keeps me going is my cat and to a lesser extent to one close and best friend that I have. I already told myself that after my elderly cat passes, I will just "call it quits" once I am around 40 and/or get hit with cancer. I don't see no point in living if I am going to be by myself and don't have my own family. It is the only thing I want in life now but I am 90% sure that I will never get married. I have gotten so rejected so many times and ghosted that even therapy doesn't seem to help.
The afterlife seems to be the only place where I feel that I would be wanted and also, getting old sucks.
There plenty fish in the sea my brother, ik you traveled but try some new cities and locations. Lower your standards and if anything worst comes to worst go to Christ Jesus
Man I feel you, but I don't want you to call it quits. Get more cats or dogs or some other pet. Go to another country that's more close knit like Turkey, Georgia, Thailand, or Columbia. It's all hard and painful and scary but don't quit. Join a YMCA, drive until you're out of gas, go into a diner and talk to someone. Go to a water park, go to a hospital and ask what you can do to help. Do something new. Grow a plant, ask a stranger for a hug, I don't know but keep moving. Don't look for a dream or a reason or a sign, just do.
@@arandomlemon6707 I agree there's more to life bro. Go explore, be uncomfortable, Try New things
I remember when i was younger and constantly stayed inside, super introverted and scared of social life. It wasn't until i faced my fears and made mistakes that i realized how fucking stupid i was for doing those things. Being alone is one of the worst fucking things that can ever happen to you, people are meant to talk and understand eachother, not stay in a room all alone.
Hm.
Sorry to burst your bubble. Most people dont stay inside because they are super introverted and scared of social life, thats just called being a pussy. People being done with an observed pattern of behavior has nothing to do with what you just said. Maybe if you talk with certain people for long enough you’ll understand
Good you got out.
It's not easy for others. Have you seen what's happening around? People can't even be friends because there's so much expectations. We've become more selfish now more than ever before. We don't care about each other now.
How did you do it? Get out of your comfort zone. I feel i created my own prison and I'm just too comfortable but so miserable at the same time.
@@Ebonybootysmackerfromjotunheim Ye, that's what i meant, i was scared of being social. Try to read more lad.
Dang, it would be nice if more young people could start building their lives together as a couple, instead of wanting everything to be already built; I think that could even make relationships stronger, it is supposed to be a team after all. No doubt the future is gonna be unsteady.
I personally am not attracted to older men, yet they keep seeking me out, especially since I have a baby face. They tend to patronize me and I just don't see a relationship work with them. The age gap isn't just a number...there's the experience, the financial power, the difference in goals, etc. I'd rather build something with a man closer to my age. That's just me though.
Idealistically, you’re right. But unfortunately, many women, including myself, have dated men who were still working on themselves only to be dumped by those same men the moment they’ve accomplished everything they wanted. I wasted five years of my youth on a man who only used me for shelter while he finished college and started making a lot of money. His dreams were more important than my own happiness…BIG mistake smh This is a common tragic tale for many women being that lately, women tend to have their shit together. Now, more and more women, including myself again, want a finished product. Men in their early 20s typically aren’t finished reaching their academic and financial goals yet and we don’t want to feel used by y’all.
@@kickrocks93 when most woman are looking for a "finished product", those men have and exercise their options.
@@mgancarzjr women do the same 🤷🏻♀️ Dating will always be significantly more difficult for men. More accomplished men may have more options, but in the long run those options eventually divorce them. I guess I forgot to mention that in addition to being financially secure, men must be emotionally intelligent as well. Women check out of relationships when they feel unheard or pushed into a mothering role. A common complaint.
@@kickrocks93 do you honestly think those men with options are going to get married right away or finally have the dating lives they missed out on while building themselves up?
I am dating a girl for 2 months now, things are going great. I am not sure where this is heading myself, because I don't catch feelings fast anymore ( bad past experiences). But damn I miss being in a relationship. Hope this works out eventually in a wholesome way.
Just constantly make sure to improve YOURSELF. Every little small thing you come across in your relationship. If she loves you she will notice and appreciate it, and she will get the message that she’s safe to do the same and be content with you always. I promise. Just believe in yourself, and be observant always.
And the off chance that this doesn’t work out, you would have figured out more about yourself and what to do and prepare for in your next relationship. But I hope that won’t be the case and that you guys have a happy ending. Also nice Jotaro avi lol
@@silversoulken He doesn't need to hear this from you if you're single
@@sleeperboi8701 I’m literally in a relationship. I’m not simple minded to give advice on something I shouldn’t, just like you’re not smart enough to not make some dumbass assumption on the internet on some dude helping another dude. Go fuck your mom 💀
@@sleeperboi8701 This is the comment section. People can say whatever they want. Don’t be a hater
@@silversoulken Thanks Gintama. I am focused on myself and improving myself and growing. Don't worry about that. It's just that I need to balance feelings and thoughts to engage with her in a healthy way for myself. Which sucks, because I am a pasionate man😆
Being alone isn't the same as being lonely homie.
I’m lonely thought lol
It's crazy how this has flipped since I was in my 20s. It was so easy to date in my 20s cause guys and girls were always around each other. At the job, hanging out at friends houses that were kind of the "party/hangout" spot for the neighborhood. People just do go out anymore I think so it's majority online interaction and dating. Back in the day there was no interaction between young twenties and early to mid thirties. the internet now provides that path.
you're forgetting colleges and parties still go on in 2023 so yes young people are still our partying , just look at festival lines ups, younger woman also see it as a challenge to get with an older man
Women now have unlimited access to the best men, a few decades of socialisation doesn’t undo millions of years of evolution priming women for mate selection, give them access to the best men, they want the best men, & won’t be satisfied with anyone else
@@POOMPLEX2 I'm not forgetting, but in the late 90s early 00s there was no online dating. Now 50%+ of people dating do it online. So like I said, huge shift.
@@justadummy8076 well we all want the best, right? It's just easier for them to have access to the best. But most can't hold onto the best, so they start getting jaded and directing some of that negative energy to whoever's next. It's just all a never ending cycle.
I try to stay away from clubs or parties. Too much alcohol being served and that tends to lead to bad things happening.
It’s even more painful when you know some women that you share a space temporarily with are into you but you don’t believe you’re worthy of their love so you don’t pursue them and you don’t see them ever again. Happened to me maybe 15-20+ times that I recall of. I’ve noticed that it stems for a lack of emotional support as a child growing up from not only parents but everyone else in my life and therefore it ruined my psyche as an adult. Still to this day I struggle but I’ll start seeing a therapist soon to help deal with the problems I currently have.
That's a thing?
Yea you have very low self esteem but talk therapy will change your life!
@@thepurplequeen256 How about YOU be his therapist yourself? Put your money where your mouth is 'cause the proof is in the pudding.
Also, do it for free.
@@thepurplequeen256 I hope to start it this year 🤞
Therapy won't fix your problems. Either commit to how you are on your own or become a different person of your own volition.
My dating life wasn’t great in my youth (my teens were in the 80s, my 20s were in the 90s), but I did have relationships, but have been divorced since ‘12.
Looking at what dating looks like today, I sincerely feel bad for young people.
As a 22 year old guy who's been used for free food, stood up on dates and Ghosted constantly...... personally I've given up. To what degree, we'll see. At this point, I'm done. Every girl I know that's my age is dating a dude in his 30s or 40s. Hell, it's gotten to the point where these older dudes are Inviting me to tag along with the girls because I look so damn lonely.
Date an older woman like me you won't regret it
@@temiloluwaamusa2810 I've thought about that. What's your Instagram?
@@temiloluwaamusa2810 Not our nigerian auntie trying to get it on youtube.
Why do you believe girls are going out with you for free food? Have you not considered that maybe they realized they weren’t interested in you by the first date?
Choose better
I've seen so many stories of guys insecurities being used against them in arguments in a crushing way. Just came from reading a post where a guy who was sa'ed the gf said he deserved it. No wonder why people are leaving the dating pool with so many terrible peoples around🤷♂️
"a guy who was sa'ed"
he what?
@@music79075 the guy was s*xually assaulted
@@music79075 sexually assaulted
@@music79075 sexually assaulted
@@music79075 sexualy assaulted
I’m 26 and never had any kind of relationship and I like to think I have a good life, I’ve got goals, ambitions and a good social group but the part where Aba is talking how economically the world is set up for couples is bang on - I’d like to get a mortgage on a house at some point in my life but if I’m not with a partner then how is it even possible - worries me quite a bit
It is possible if you get lucky, otherwise, you have to wait until the companies change their standard and you are applicable. Otherwise, keep trying, keep searching, someone is bound to break.
Time to learn a profitable paying job. Move to a lower cost of living area, or live in with family, van, or roommates to save up.
I can safely say at 28 years old and back at home living with my mom due to unforseen circumstances that I have zero confidence in finding a date. People tell me that living with my mom again is fine and not a big deal, but those people are also living with an SO in their own homes/apartment. They don't know how much f a struggle that is. It's difficult being almost 30 and not having my shit worked out still. Hell, I expect to still be at home by 30 because I have zero opportunities or prospects in my life right now.
You’re so young, don’t feel bad at all for having to be back at home temporarily.
If you have no confidence don’t bother. As a woman the least attractive thing to me is low confidence. I feel unsafe with a man like that.
didn't have my first gf until 29, at 41 she's my wife and we have two kids , you are about to hit your prime , don't give up.
I’m in the same boat as you no friends no female experience nothing just graduated high school last year can’t even maintain a 9to5 because I suck at being social with others and it hurts to see everyone else getting along but I’m just the background character
Same age as you brother I’ve 100% given up.
Bro im 32 and I feel this so much. I'm comfortable now, not just financially, but I know who I am, what I have to offer, and how to treat women. I didn't have a dad to show me how to be good to women and validate them, how to work hard, and to have charisma. I had to find that shit out myself, and if I look back at myself, I honestly was a horrible partner until a few years ago.
Men don't know how to BE anymore, and its so sad we have rolemodels like Tate filling that void.
yep agreed. les brown and ect is an option. have a listen.
Tate and his copy cats have done irreversible damage , solely to make money off of people. "Hey, pay me and I can tell you how to get women" Then in those courses they sell you, they tell you some bullshit that doesn't work on 98% of women, and the women those tactics work on, they don't actually want yknow, they arent relationship material. I wish men and women looked at dating and relationships differently and didn't take those guys advice when it gets hard yknow. (idk any female equivalents to tate but im sure there are some out there too that young women listen to bad advice from)
@@captainmycaptain8334 I disagree with a few things that Tate says but the honest truth is that Andrew Tate does not advise men on how to pick up women. He's not a pickup artist (PUA) and has never claimed to be one. He may have a few one or two commentary expressing his opinions on Male & Female inter-sexual dynamics, but that has NEVER been the core or focus of his message. His MAIN focus has simply been trying to get men to become more confident and better versions of themselves in all areas of their lives. And that is simply because America has the crisis of fatherlessness. Young men are not taught how to be men nowadays due to the lack of father figures in majority of households. The problem you have is that you have wrongly interpreted Tates advice and it's likely because you've not taken the personal time to listen to most of his messages. So you are basically regurgitating the lies your mind has been fed by mainstream media and NPC haters.
@@truereality7407 My guy. Your novel doesnt have anything to do with my point which is that tate and his copy cats fake and fat, and any other macho alpha dipshit only feed men bullshit that will further isolate them in order to sell a course on how to solve the isolation. They want you to buy a product whether thats a course, a discord, listen to their podcast and donate etc. they dont give a rats ass about the people theyre misleading not to mention half of them are self admitted cucks who simp and pay out the ass for sugarbabies. that's not a healthy relationship that people should strive to have. we need less hookup culture and more committed relationships. less cheating and more loyalty. less pretending you own the world and more working together as a relationship is afterall a partnership not a dictatorship. You buy into the façade and you've lost.
You get cheated on yet bro? Every guy I know has had the same or better results by being a bit of an asshole to women. Tate is doing far more good than bad by counteracting trash feminist narratives.
This hits me hard. When i was in my 20s, i could not get a girl. Now when i'm 30, there's 20 year olds who would date me but i want kids and i know most 20 year olds are not fit to be parents. The good girls my age are mostly in longterm relationships. It's a very sad situation. I wanted to date someone since i was 18 and grow together up to this point when i already want a family but it wasn't my choice to make, i tried.
Same. I wanted kids too but I don't feel the same connection or maturity level from the younger women I can get now. Most of them are extremely jaded or dislike kids too it's frustrating
I actually think it’s better to date and marry the girl in her early 20s.. women in their early 30s are more angry/disgruntled because they have ran through by chads. Find a woman in her early 20s who value’s relationship and wife material and willing to have baby soon. The mother instinct will come naturally from having a baby
@@Hdhfhhdh You sound very bitter my good man.
Just pick a solid one and date her until shes ready. plenty of younger moms
@@Hdhfhhdh Pros and cons to both older women and younger. Younger women are more fit for children and would have more energy. Older women would be more mature but would more likely have more baggage and less physically attractive.
We sat around in the West for well over a decade laughing at these types of statistics coming out from Japan (one of the world symbols for maximizing human productivity),. While we joked about everyone there being to busy watching hentai to get laid, we never considered that was simply an expedited example of the trend we were ALL on.
Agreed. Been saying for a while that in many ways Japan is the "Canary in the coalmine" of global society.
It is strictly an American Problem, here in Germany the ratio is 53/47 male/female. Also the rate for both genders is below 22%.
@@Naikomi603 It is not. Here in Sweden, it's worse than in America because America exports all its degeneracy these days. Somehow, I know like 3 women that are single and 100+ men. At my last job, literally every single woman was in a relationship while like 20% men were. When a new, single woman started, let's just say all the men were like vultures. It's very weird and it's not because the women are "dating older men"
It’s sad to see this happening when it comes to dating. It sucks for both men and woman, people just have a really warped perspective of reality when going into dating. At this point in time you have a lot more to loose when trying to date then what you might gain
It's because the only interaction these men and woman have with the opposite sex is on dating apps which take out interpersonal human connection and how people bond with each other on a emotional level. How can anyone connect with someone on a emotional interpersonal level through a app which just wants money?
You're just met with text and a solid profile pic. People have convinced that's being sociable. It's sad.
We say dating sucks for men and women but it really only sucks for men. If men and women wanted each other, they would be together. The reality is, men want the women but the women only want “certain” men. And there aren’t enough “certain” men for all the women to get one, so they either get used for sex and accept never being committed to, or they stay celibate. But if women really want a relationship, they can have one by tomorrow.
@@milesmorales5271 I don't know about that, in my opinion most women are not relationship material.
@@jayc342009 I partially agree with what you're saying, I also think that counts for being mums aswell
I just go with the flow. Been in problems where I’ve been exploited by my sense of self, my kindness and my honesty. But it’s good to hold onto faith. Sure it is miserable without connection but when you recreate yourself and hold onto your core values and to pass through your goals , that’s enough connection that can help you walk through life. In the end burdens aren’t shared, they’re meant to be buried.
Well, it's self preservation at this point from unfair marriage/family court laws, false allegations, being used for dates, etc. 🤷🏽♂️
Yeah why can't men do other things in life besides making women a priority?
Also that women just go for the same guys
@NotoriousJ we can but nobody will ever understand it😂
@@notoriousj_ Because without women, you don't have access to sex or a family of your own. Life without those two things is not worth living, imo.
judging by your content looks like you’re stuck in the manosphere. get out while you can, the grass is greener on the other side my man.
I’m not gonna lie, when I first heard that stat, I thought “Oh, these women are sharing the same men, and some of the women don’t even know it.” I think there’s still some truth to that, but younger women dating older men is a super plausible reason for the stat disparity as well. I think it’s a combination of both
If the disparity is caused by older men being with younger women, then that would mean older women are more single than older men with the same disparity, but opposite for the genders compared to their younger counterparts with 63% of older women being single and 33% of older men being single…unless sharing men is a substantial reason for the disparity.
@@KennyBucketz Last I checked, 45% or so of all older women were single mothers or just single period. After 30, most women's prospects rapidly decline after all.
@@unwelcomemotivation Facts, informal polygamy is the default nowadays. Five girls will be in one man's harem, all thinking they're in a relationship.
Man, Steve deleted his comment. I wanted to respond lol.
Men promote side chick culture so I’m not surprised
I've been single for 20+ something years. It's been difficult finding someone. Just lately this girl I was dating ended what we had only because of a misunderstanding through texting of all places. We've known each other for a year. It's still disappointing for me because I've tried to explain the misunderstanding while also making sure that her points are valid.
She was, in all probability, already checking out, mentally & emotionally. Only someone who's halfway out the door uses something like a text message as the final straw. Don't blame yourself for that text; it's just a way for her to shift the blame onto your shoulders. Women don't want to be seen as the bad guy, particularly to themselves, so they use mental gymnastics to avoid accountability if they possibly can. It sucks, but I've both seen & experienced the "Where TF did this come from?" phenomenon. Hope you feel better soon.
@@spk1121 Thank you so much for the kind words. It means a lot. Right now I'm just having a hard time registering what just happened. It happened in less then 24 hours. I'm in complete consternation. My apologies if I seem to just throw my laundry out in the open but I feel to add some context might be appropriate-
This was through text and it started from a tv show (already juvenile and ridiculous). I was talking about a character and how this female is really well written so far. And I simply point out whether the writers for the show will develop her as a strong independent female with no male love interest. But if they do give her a love interest thats cool too. She took offense to this and said "First of all, if you think a womans story has more value when they don’t have a man then why would I wanna hang out with you?" I replied that it wasnt my intention to disparage womans value at all. Some more of her saying I'm sexist for saying that. And more of me just trying to explain that I'm just talking simply about a tv show- while again also reassuring that her points are valid and I'm not contesting anything she says. Long story short she says I'm gaslighting her and tells me to f off. But whats odd is on our first few dates, getting to know each other, we share the same outlook politically, morally, socially etc. So for her to assume something I'm not is just so confusing. Halfway out the door makes sense. I never saw it like that. Sorry for the long paragraph. Thanks for reading if you made it this far.
Dude walk away from that. If she's unwilling to listen to an explanation for a misunderstanding through text... I can't imagine trying to explain a more difficult situation later on. (bullet) < >>>>>>>(you)
@@15thobserver You're 100% right.I need to. But not gonna lie it's still difficult cause we were hitting it off before that one unfortunate text session. As time goes by. But right now it's hard to let go. Thanks so much for the response. As you can tell I really don't have anyone to talk to in regards to this hahahaha. Thanks again.
@@shaolinidiots Yea, that always sucks to have to let go of something when it wasn't your choice to end things. I don't know of much that makes that feel any better except time and experiences with the close relationships that you do have. Np, but don't give your heart to strangers on the internet, thats a sure fire way to ruin your good will towards humanity. Good luck and I hope you find time to spend with anyone you care about.
I'm 26 and I've never been on a date. My parents never showed me any affection and never helped me develop social skills. I had 1 close friendn in high school and he betrayed me. I had a long distance relationship as a teenager and she lied, manipulated, and cheated. For the past 7 years I've had nobody to even talk to. I don't have a clue how to even begin to develop socially, and i know the older I get the harder it'll be. Every birthday is fucking horrible because it's just a reminder that I'm getting older and I'm going to die alone.
time to do sum personalitymaxxing
I would love to speak on this channel.
As a 19yr old male, I really appreciate you both for making this video and bringing more awareness to this topic.
Intimate relationships are dying. The want for them from both genders is dying. The concept of love is completely warped. And the pursuit of happiness is turning to depressing solitude being mistaken for independent strength in extremely toxic manners.
I talk about it constantly. The women of this generation are so unappealing. It seems like they either dont know what they want, whether that be a relationship or not, or what they want OUT OF a relationship.
It seems like they are part of this social media hive mindset of "I dont need a man"
I feel like they fail to realize that nobody said they needed men. As men, we want women. We want women to want us. The whole men only want sex statement only applies to SOME men but it also applies to SOME women.
Personally, even though I'm young...
For years all I wanted was a real relationship. Of course it took me some years to fully understand intimacy. But I crave intimacy.
I crave to care for a woman, to take care of her. To love her, support her, cherrish her, adore her, and please her, etc. But I also desire that to be fully reciprocated.
And the sad reality is, a lot of theze women just want to GET and not GIVE back.
But from the male aspect of this failing generation and society, men are starting to want women less. Men are starting to get a "Fck women, I don't need women" mindset. But I feel women have the "I dont need" mindset from being used, while men have it for being heartbroken. But I also feel vice versa happens aswell.
I have so much to say about this topic but I'm not gonna type a whole book here.
Thank you again for the video, wish I could speak on it further from a Young Male perspective.
Bruh you 19 you are too young to really say anything. Gain some experience, im not trying to insult you but you have NOTHING of substance to say simply because you dont have the experience.
very wise words from someone youre age. im only 22 but you are speaking the truth. motives aside, this generation puts far too much positive weight on "independence", meaning lone wolfing it to pursue career/life goals. I just think its a little silly because who doesnt want to be in love? both sexes are guilty of this.
Excellent commentary my friend and let me say for a 19 year old you write with extraordinary conviction and life experience , I must admire your skill in presenting your arguments effectively, may You find what you seek with the grace of God, take care
@@xMckingwill Just bc I'm 19 doesnt mean I act like I am.
I dont hang around people my age. I don't even talk to people my age. But being around adults more than people my age definitely has allowed me to talk to them about their experiences with love, relationships, etc.
Shit, half of my main friends are single, the other half are 10+ years married. I dont have a single person under 22 I consider a "friend".
@@Spextre acting like a 19 isnt my point you just lack experiences due to your age, if you hang around Drs. It doesnt make you a doctor nor does it make you an expert. So dont use your limited experience to clock out of dating
You yourself just decribed that half of your freinds are in relationshio so why are you focusing on the half that arent?
Word of advice to the guys out there (especially young guys) who are checking out of dating because of the apps... I'm not using them either. When I meet people, it's through friends, a class I'm taking for some new skill I want to learn or through some social event like that. I know it's "easier" for women to get matches on apps but it's not ideal for anyone who wants to take their time to know someone for a bit without the pressure of dating them from the first time meeting. If the apps are discouraging you, they're discouraging me too. I feel that. Don't give up! There are good people out here that want to love and be loved too.
Funny enough. When I cut out apps and started going out places with friends. I have women approach me and hit on me.
I had 3 women last year at my job in retail flat out ask for my number.
Apps aren't real life yet people act like they are.
When I'm out and about doing things I don't think about sex or relationships I don't see every attractive women and think oh an opportunity for a date. I stay thinking about what I'm doing and where I'm going next. No women apporchs me ever when I'm out in society mingling nor do I think I should be consistently obsessed with getting a intimate connection everywhere I go......js
Preech - your ability to keep quiet is amazing! Your ability to listen and wait in till you get a chance to speak .
Your face says soo much more ..
Stay strong ! Namaste 🙏🏻
Yea man you guy’s are right, having a family is the best thing you can have, i also believe people aren’t made to be single but sometimes it’s just the safest decision in the recent mayhem’s .