The danger of fantasy worlds
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- Опубліковано 2 кві 2024
- Over-investing in fictional worlds can trigger depressive episodes. After wishing to live in imaginary realms, reality seems hollow and unsatisfying.
Constantly comparing life to unrealities breeds misery and meaninglessness. Getting lost in fantasy, though stimulating, ultimately undermines appreciating one's actual circumstances.
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But I do care.
When nothing in real life is even close to enjoyable despite trying everything I can , cutting off the only thing that brings you a shred of enjoyment is not an option.
This is spoken exactly like the alcoholic staring at the bottom of a bottle. I’m not judging or shaming you, because I know this sentiment, exactly, in regards to both fantasy narratives and alcoholism. But simply the fact that you typed that says that you are dependent on those fantasies. It’s the dependence you must give up and replace, not necessarily the stories.
I have cPTSD, so by default, I’m addicted to addiction. Many people use abstinence to cope with addiction, but I cannot, because anything with dopamine is potentially addictive for me, and many physical necessities give you dopamine. I can’t abstain from eating food, for example. Instead, I must learn to regulate. Fantasy video games have been one such habit I’ve had to rein in, due to dependence, but can now still enjoy after some effort. Other habits, like alcoholism, I’ve chosen abstinence to cope with.
My point is that addiction is a spectrum, and on that spectrum there is “use,” “abuse,” and “dependence.” The problem is that you need something that isn’t a necessity to cope, and dependence on things like that is almost always unhealthy. I don’t know your situation, so this hobby might be the only thing keeping you going, and if so…do what you gotta do and stay alive. I’ve been there. I might still be. Just know that there is a better way, and you’ll probably have to learn it eventually if you want fulfillment in life, because fulfillment seems to come with balance.
I think it’s also important to remind myself that I’m not on the “hero’s journey.” That’s a very satisfying narrative technique…with no basis in reality. That was a painful lesson, but absolutely necessary for my personal growth (I recommend Blade Runner 2049). I must remember that nothing is promised to me, entitled, or guaranteed. The universe owes me nothing. At first, that seems grim, but it also means that I owe the universe nothing. I have no obligatory destiny to meet, and no debt of sin to absolve. I can be cruel or kind, it’s my choice, and the characters from the fantasy stories can still be a guide for the kind of person I want to try to be.
@@zacky7572 not on a "hero's journey?" Then, you're not your own hero. We're ALL on a "hero's journey." The difference in our journey and the ones from games, movies, and television is, it ends in a different way. Be your own hero! Embrace your journey! Nothing in any good hero's journey was "promised, entitled, or guaranteed" to them, either. That's what made the journey worth the little victories along the way.
@@WynterFyre I think you misunderstand. I get your sentiment, but I'm specifically talking about the "hero's journey" as a narrative device in storytelling. If you view yourself as the hero in a typical fantasy adventure story, then you WILL be disappointed, because the way those stories unfold is incompatible with reality. I'm specifically referring to the way the hero experiences their life, not the fantasy aspects of the story. It's an unhealthy aspiration. The arch of the hero only really exists in stories.
I think superheroes are a good example. They are often men born of past trauma. But how do they get to solve their emotional issues? By punching things. They get to use violence to solve their inner pain, rather than boring therapy. This is usually done outside of the law, and yet they are viewed as morally upright for doing so. They also become invincible, whether it be literally, through a superpower, or simply through plot armor. So they got hurt once in their past, but can't truly be hurt again! Talk about the ultimate, masculine power fantasy. The older I get, the more unhealthy I think superhero fixation is.
Here is a great video that better illustrates my point. It was painful to watch, but I really needed to hear it. Adjusting my expectations regarding life, after viewing it, has been beneficial for me. ua-cam.com/video/j5bEQC6TTeM/v-deo.html
@@zacky7572 with respect, if you understand my sentiment, then you must understand I never advocated seeing one's self in an unrealistic "video-game" way.
I'm saying, put some value on yourself. See yourself as the hero of your own life's journey - whatever it might be. Maybe your journey is a a pastry chef, for instance. If so, be the BEST pastry chef - YOU CAN BE! Don't compare yourself to others but use their example to better yourself, never to tear yourself down.
One quick note, when they began in their respective comics, superheroes were not about "punching everyone" to win the day. Many began as big-brained people attempting to overcome bad situations. What they've turned into is a direct result of what our world has become.
@@WynterFyre I understand your sentiment, in that I get that you have good intentions and are being encouraging, but I think it still advocates for an unrealistic, story-like perspective (which was also the topic of discussion). You're accidentally dumping a burden of toxic positivity onto me.
I don't think that calling myself a hero is healthy. I'm just trying to survive here. Someone struggling to keep their head above water doesn't really have the capacity to be a hero, for themself or anyone else. "Not surrendering" is really the most heroic thing some can do. People with mental health issues often feel dragged by a current of causality they have no real influence on. So telling me to be a hero in that scenario can easily be interpreted as shaming.
Again, I know you aren't doing that. You're saying work on yourself, set goals, have high standards, etc. I totally agree and try to do so, and yet still feel powerless, while knowing that continuing the healthy habits is the answer regardless. So I'm really critiquing your delivery of that encouragement, that's all. I appreciate the effort, I'm just trying to help explain this perspective.
If your life is inherently miserable then a fantasy world can be good relief. Anime saved me when my life was hell. Better than taking substances
To a lesser degree, this happens with book series too.
Yes, I agree.
Dune was the book series for me.
The Poldark books for me...I was mad for Winston Graham's books, and I wanted to live in their village . .
I wouldn't even say to a lesser degree. I started chronically skipping school in the 6th grade to escape into books and stories. I never got into drugs or drinking because this WAS my drug.
Life as a professional actor, playwright, creative writer, I’ve seen myself -at certain ages of critical change/trauma/mental &/or physical health - as characters: in their given circumstances & sensory rrality. Say, 17yo me: We talk, she gets to actually spill to someone she trusts, & I get clarity on that time. In our conversation, we also make a bit of progress with healing/ she begins to heal shame & I ask for forgiveness for nit having been there - & in facing each other we end up laughing & hugging- loving & respecting each other, knowing will meet again when an experience calls for it. There are…ManyLaurels. We are magnificent.
I believe the same can be true for anyone.
It might start w/a sudden memory, an old photo, a window in the core. …
Escape is only unhealthy when you do it in excess, like everything else in life. Reading books, playing games online, watching movies are good coping mechanisms when you can't get out of your own head. IMHO, when there is a dearth of people with the same values as you have, those coping mechanisms help you realize that there are people like you out there.
I was sort of obsessed with Red Dead Redemption 2 for a while. I kept replaying it, because I loved the time period, the story, the riding a horse around beautiful scenery... It was definitely an escape for me from a marriage that I wasn't happy in, but I was able to come out of that and deal with what I had to deal with in order to move on and let my ex move on.
I can surely see why/how one could be consumed by those fantasy worlds.
This video appearing in my feed just now is one of those eerie coincidences. Here's why:
I've enjoyed playing Dungeons & Dragons since the late '70s; and I find it can help with my depression and anxiety. It's an opportunity for a structured social interaction, with a small group of people, for a limited, specific time.
And as the Dungeon Master, I'm not only in control of the situation but can also focus on the other players' enjoyment, giving me comfort and validation.
But here's the thing; building the setting/world and preparing a game session is - by nature - done alone, affording me lots of introvert recharge time.
And this isolated background prep work has now become more appealing to me than the actual playing of the game.
A friend texted me earlier asking about a session this weekend; just me, her, and her husband - something we've done many times.
But I turned them down. And this video makes me realize it's because a session would interrupt my ongoing worldbuilding. Which is supposed to facilitate gameplay, not replace it!
Now I'm torn between texting them back to schedule a game, or spending the weekend adding to my already copious behind-the-scenes notebooks.
Use what your players do to expand the lore and world building you do. They do all the work with progressing the story in different directions you never imagined, make that lore and if one day you need ideas for situations with drama/conflict use their story and maybe one day you can write a book or module - possibly of your campaign itself or something entirely different. Feed your Dnd hobby this way.
And I have the exactly opposite problem, how strange it wouldn't sounded. I used to love fantasy books, videogames, moovies in my teenage and youth, but had never been too obsessed with it. But several years ago I became bored of any fiction. Firstly I quitted videogames many years ago kust because I started to feel them more like dull work then fun. And several years ago I became bored also of movies, series and books. They all are so same, so predictable for me. And this is an issue for me. Someone may consider it not a problem, but I just can't switch to something intertaining after work for effective rest. And I'm reaaly suffering from it since I still love fiction and want to dive into it sometimes, but when I start something new, it catches me only for a couple of evenings.
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Yeah, our whole society has an issue with this. You ever hear a grown man scream at a tv screen when his team doesn’t score a touchdown? Not all wizards wear robes. Some wear plastic helmets and hand warmers.
Absolutely
I found this true for myself with family sitcoms. I become lost in Frasier, Modern Family, for instance. I desire that family closeness. They have an abundance of money, beautiful homes, vacations, their wittiness, how they always dress well with makeup and hair done. But especially the closeness of them as families. I, too, have noticed if I watch too many hours, I become blue.
Salutations and tossed salads and scrambled eggs from this side of the Frasierhole! In my mind I'm at his apartment, or chilling at Cafe Nervosa, or watching movies with Marty and Eddie... 🥺 okay I really gotta chill on the sitcoms for a while lol. I really feel u tho. Remember we're part of this one big global family too! 🫂
I struggle with this too but I'm definitely not willing to cut those things out of my life. I know I should decrease the time I spend "in" those worlds but I'm not really willing to do that either-reality sucks so bad it makes me feel completely hopeless, too, so if I can choose whether to disassociate or not when either one will make me feel like shit, then I'll always go with disassociating, because at least I can block out much of the emotions. I also like that in games and books and stuff, the things people do actually make a difference. Especially in the grander scheme of things, the bigger problems-I hate how in reality we can't do anything worth noting to change the major problems in society.
I deeply relate to this. I adore anime with all my heart. I had such an unhappy, lonely life and it always gave me so much in a world that gave me so little. But it does mess me up a lot so I’ve learned to be careful with it. One issue of mine is I’ll find an anime I love, watch it all, then just keep rewatching episodes. It gets to the point I have to wean myself off the series because it’s just not healthy for me. But anime is the most amazing thing I’ve ever found here. That and lucid dreaming.
I too had the same problem. Currently practicing being grateful for the things in my life. Really appreciate your advice. Thank you so much. 💐
It's a struggle to find a substitute for these. I'm in a deep pit right now and have been consuming stories in various mediums for a long time as a form of escapism and the idea of cutting them off is like cutting off the one thing I feel like I might want to stay around for.
For some of us, this life was rigged from the start. I can't change my race or my family background or my childhood. The future is already decided for me and there isn't anything i can do to change.
Fantasy escape is the only option
Exactly!
Aren’t these the same challenges every hero must overcome? A tragic backstory is a common, but effective, literary trope, especially in fantasy. I think the reason for that is that it’s art imitating life. Defeating the dragon is often an allegory for a more mundane, real-life counterpart. Hardship can be the “refiner’s fire,” in that it creates the strongest people, much like how those who lift the heaviest weights grow the strongest muscles. Your unique understanding of pain can be used to alleviate it in others, sometimes without you even knowing, which is then likely to help you heal your own. That’s a hero, and they are needed.
I don’t mean to sound reductive or dismissive of your plight. I have those exact same thoughts that you expressed, and they hurt. This is one of things I say to myself to help reframe my problems in my mind. It helps, sometimes
I'm curious if in your practice you see more people resorting to fantasy worlds lately. It seems these rather dystopian times, plus the prevalence of so many green screen superhero and escapist films/shows/manga/comic books, are feeding this phenomenon. And it's not just young men getting enmeshed in these worlds. I follow a lot of reading and journaling channels, and many feature young (and not so young) women who are into romantic fantasy, fairies, vampires, etc.
speaking of fantasy worlds what do you think about those who use Lucid Dreams as a form of escapism? (because they've felt so much hurt, rejection, and pain)
Hey, as an Xer I still want to go live in Cicely, Alaska in the 90s.
As a former gamer, thanks for admitting how it affected you (you also mentioned League of Legends in another video). I still have this issue, of a hyperactive imagination that's always more attractive than reality. So it's an active growth spot for me. Even though I don't game I can bake up all kinds of entertainment in my imagination. Which in turn, might fuel a lot of my anxiety since I believe all thought has a similar nature. Investing so deeply in imagination in a fun, "positive" direction means the negative will have as much power to affect your emotions. That's what I suspect, anyway.
The key is to enjoy characters who are much more miserable from you.
"Yeah he's cool and all but I wouldn't survive one day in that setting" lol
When you look at how fantasy robs you and often your loved ones of so much time, energy, and even in some cases, money, it can motivate you to stay in reality.
It's this or death.
I'll take this.
Death means I can't appreciate my life too.
But Death means I can't enjoy the fantasy also.
So...its the fantasy or nothing.
I'm a history geek, and read a LOT of non fiction. I had a book out on the Kennedy assassination years ago. Is that the same or different that what you're talking about in your view, Scott?
Agreed
LET IT ALL GO
Yeah but what about Star Wars? I like to play a ton of SWTOR all the time plus other sw games and all the shows and movies, books, comics, whatnot. That's my thing.
One single dream is more powerful than a thousand realities. "Tolkien"
Information will get you from A to B. Imagination will get you anywhere. Einstein.
I used to be in fantasy world but then I took an arrow in the knee.... 😂