I was there , I thought I’ll die cuz of the pain . He dumped me I didn’t beg . Did No contact for four months . He reached out he was begging me . We are now married for one year . Follow what Couch is saying . I listened each and every video every day for four months
thanks for commenting this , im 3 months no contact and i feel like shell never reach out , seeing yours took longer then mine currently is made me stop feeling like i have to reach out now. thank you!
Why did he dump you, what did he do while he was on his own and why did he feel the need to come back and why did you take him back? I'm just curious how the series of events leads to marriage.
@@sloanmagnum5009 it’s a long story we come from different cultures, and the issue was with his family . We had a small fight and then he got angry then he broke up with me . He tells me he was just doing nothing just focusing on himself. I did the same to myself just loving me . One day we were met at the church and the rest is history.
She did reach out, 3 months and 14 days.. on my birthday. I had given up hope, and I admit that I cried in raw emotion from her message. Yup.. no contact is that hard. But DO no contact. Dont give in. She wants to meet up now, and discuss something.. I am not sure if I will get her back, but I consider this a victory. And in the meantime I have reconnected with friends, family, been travelling, and trained... even if she dont come back.. im ok
So - we videotalked for 2 hours. She is having alot of stress, got fired from her job. And have to work with herself through a therapist. I actually did understand the need for her to break up, as she was mentally spiralling downwards, after an extremely hard 2023 (the both of us). I decided to let her be herself. Let her work on herself, so she can feel something again. Give her space. Its been 4 months since she broke up, and I set a timeframe for how long I want to "wait" for her... I give her 2 months more, and if she is not really in contact with me at the time, I will just move on. @@Whatsthedealio1977
So... we met up. Hugged, she talked alot, cried... I tried to just listen, and make the conversation light and casual. It worked... she took my arm, held it... I hugged her again. She said she wanted to have me let her go, but she also said that I should not make her go... (go figure) - my thoughts are that she is stressed, and really does not know what she wants. She leaned her head into my chest when we hugged goodbye. Its been 10 days since I heard from her. I am not writing. But I am also not waiting.
@@TheCSish she metup with you for closure i guess cuz clearly someone else in her heart or life or she saw no future with u You shouldnt have given her the closure n pleasure to hug you, if that's hurting you now thinking about it
3 months on no contact! It does get easier.. sometimes I just want to sit and cry! But I turn the pain to work on myself 10× longer and harder! It helps me! Stay strong
In no contact for about 2 weeks. holding on strong!! working on myself and my career! your videos have helped my mental health tremendously, thank you coach lee!!
im in my 4th month, and i tell you it gets exponetially easier to deal with. the first two months are tough, but if you can get through that period you're good and are most likely going to win this no contact stuff.
I’ve been in no contact for a month. I was certain that I’d never hear from my ex again. It was a terrible, drawn out breakup. Yet after the second week, she’s been unblocking me then blocking me every day or every other day. So now since I’ve given her that space, she’s had time to go through emotions that aren’t anger. I haven’t heard from her yet but her family contacts me daily. 8 notice she’s looking at my social medias. And plus, I have some important things that she left at our house when she moved out and she knows they’re there, we’ve talked about it before u went no contact. So I’m just giving her space and working on myself and when she’s ready, she will contact me to get her things and ahead of time will see something different in me. And if she doesn’t, then ok, I’ve grown, I’ve attracted many people recently, good people. I hope to work things out with her because I have a ring for her, but if not. I’ll sell the ring and move on with my life
Also at the two month mark. She has checked with me twice, one call, one text. I replied to both casual and positive. I will not do her job as she fired me. Stay strong.
I know she will never come back to me. The way she ended it so abruptly and I know her personality... When she makes a decision it's final. But these videos are still really helpful for my mindset. Just gotta keep going
This actually works man! I really didn’t think it was not going to work. He told me it would take a miracle to take me back. Initially I went into no contact because I wanted him back. But after the first week, I started doing a lot of things for myself and started to focus on my own healing process. I was slowly getting better. I was journaling my progress as well. And guess who contacted me in 13 days, my ex! He said he missed me and realized he didn’t want to do life without me and when I tell you, he was really singing a different tune. But now I’m at a place where I’m at peace with being alone for now and focused on my goals. But coach lee was correct on everything. He admitted to feeling all these things during all these stages as the dumper. But we are on friendly terms now.
Over 2 months NC. It's funny and encouraging how pain of her absence turned into somehow kind of relief and more strength. Pain is giving us two roads: you either keep suffering and regreting (of course, you have to mourn and have that rollercoaster of emotions from time to time) or accept it, let it go and making yourself stronger and more resilient. It will happen naturally when we do it right way and let words and emotions vent correctly.
Actually don't want her back ! She wanted to come back I said no ! Took about 60 days but I'm good now. I didn't think it would change this fast but it's amazing, I stopped contacting them only responded when she texted me. Now she's crying wants me back. Nope if you can leave me once she can do it again. Thank you this was a blessing she did me a favor ! Coach Lee is the man ! He knows what he's talking about.
I feel so lost. My boyfriend of almost 3 years broke up with me 30 days ago. We were arguing more and a few other things. Nothing I didn't think we couldn't overcome. Obviously, I was devastated and blindsided by this. We were trying to have a baby and talked about marriage. So, regrettably, I begged for about 2 weeks after the breakup...on and off. Not until I came across your videos and started no contact. It's been 30 days since the breakup and about 2.5 weeks of no contact and no signs of him coming back. It's so hard. I really thought this was my person and we overcame so much to just end it over an argument. But I have to try and stay positive--that if they WERE MY PERSON, they would be here right now with me working it out with me. Thank you for your videos.
Mine left too after five years over an argument. I had to tell myself he wanted this and he’s been wanting this for some time. Men tend to hold things in. Not our fault. But his actions of messaging a coworker and getting a little too friendly with an 19 year old at the gym is why I confronted him. Thought we could overcome this as well. Funny my therapist told me how to handle it, and when I did exactly what he said and go about things the healthy way, I get dumped. So there’s no accountability. And you want a partner who will take accountability for hurting you and making you feel the way he does. And we too were looking at houses and talking about marriage. Even asked me what kind of ring I like. Said to me I was his person, wouldn’t be in this with anyone else, I’m the love of his life… he said all these things. I’m just as lost as you are. I’m sorry you’re going through this. But just know God always has a plan. Whether it be to help him realize what he lost, or you realize you can do better without him. ❤
I’m going through the exact same situation as you are and it hurts beyond words. It’s been over a month now and I still haven’t heard not one word back from him. I’ve tried wholeheartedly to apologize via text. I’ve tried to call him and I left sincere apologies on his voice mail. I thought he would forgive me. I thought we could get through this and reconcile. We had a heated argument on the phone late at night the last time we spoke. I was really missing him and I really wanted to see him, but it was very late and he said he couldn’t come over and that’s when I got very angry with him and I was acting controlling on the phone and said disrespectful words to him. (No, he’s not married or in another relationship). We shared everything together and he said he would never leave me and that he would always love me. I don’t think I said anything that terrible to make him want to end our relationship. I’m so sorry for the way I spoke to him and I still love him very much. I don’t think no contact is working. It’s been over a month and I haven’t heard one word back from my boyfriend. I’m afraid I’ve lost him.
@@gingerk.6792 hey love, you seem like a vacillator and it sounds like you have an anxious attachment-style. Only saying this cause I too have called and texted none stop to get him to hear me. Also demanding he work it out. And I too have an anxious attachment style. He sounds like an avoider- which my ex is. And most men tend to be. Giving him space and not texting or calling is what is healthy for the both of you. He will come around but avoidant men need space and once you give it to them they have time to miss what they had. Also, instead of filling your mind with what is he doing, does he think of me, does he miss me, should I drive by his place kind of stuff, start watching attachment style videos and learn about yourself and your attachment style and his as well, to better communicate. Trust me you’ll be doing yourself a great service when knowing how to talk to someone with a different communication style and will teach you in the future how to deal with this in the next relationship, if he doesn’t come back, you’ll be healthier in what you do next time. Hope this helps. And remember, never chase a man who doesn’t want to be chased. Men are supposed to do the chasing not us. He wants out. Let him leave. The best thing to do out of love is let him believe that’s the best decision he’s made, once they realize they can’t find you in someone else they’ll reach out. Give it time love. ♥️
@@gingerk.6792 Be strong! I did being avoidant against my boyfriend also over an argument. I apologize in few days and repeated after a month, a little interaction to his family until I found out hes going into rebound and now I stick to no contact, even to his families. Its been 2 months already no heard from him. Overtime im feeling comfortable by no contact, not gaining anything but I can feel that I dont beg and lower myself on him.
Coach Lee, I have lost all hope with my ex, unfortunately. She just went into a rebound relationship only 9 weeks after we broke up. She seems so happy and doesn't seem to care about me at all anymore and has moved on so quickly. I wish things were different, but your videos have taught me that all I can do, is all I can do.
I’ve learned so much, I never knew the psychology of relationships. I just thought friendship turned into love and most people were authentic and kind. Now I think selfish people have more satisfaction with their partner, life is just temporary and happiness depends on how you take care of yourself.
Regain your identity, focus on bettering yourself in all aspects. If it doesn't work out, then it really wasn't meant to be. You owe it to yourself to be the best version of yourself. Right now it may seem that its impossible and difficult, but with time, you'll heal your heart. Just don't make the same mistakes in the future. Learn and grow. Stay strong !
5 1/2 months since breakup, and 5 months of No Contact ("radio silence" since I'm not on any social media). She broke with me over text, adding that she wanted no further contact. After some research, I realized that she was Fearful Avoidant and that the trigger for her deactivation was hearing herself say "I love you. I'm not going anywhere". I have worked on myself and sought support from a coach, which has helped immensely. I suspect that she is in the Curiosity Stage, or something like that. We have seen each other five times since October in social events (dances, with 75 to 150 people). No more than eye contact or brief non-verbal acknowledgement. I don't go into her space and she keeps to herself. What's weird is that she never used to come to this dance event. It's farther for her to travel and she is skipping an alternative event that used to be one of her favorites. She now knows that is likely that I will be there, but she is also clearly not at ease around me. (She mostly dances by herself, so she is not showing off or obviously trying to get my attention.) I'm not sure what's going on. If I were in her shoes, and I wanted to avoid an ex- (been there, done that), I would just avoid this dance event and go back to the Old Favorite. Easy solution. Maybe someday I will hear the whole story. Maybe she has a bunch of mixed motives, including curiosity about how I am doing, and whether I am dancing close with other women (new girlfriend?). Maybe she wants to prove to herself that this doesn't bother her. Maybe she is hoping that I will approach her, initiate contact, or even beg and plead to get back together, so she can be in the power position again. Maybe she is even intending to initiate contact with me, but then chickens out when the opportunity arises. It doesn't really matter to me any more. I am indifferent about whether she contacts me or not. I'm not closed to the idea of getting back together, but we would need to start from scratch and I would need to know that she is on a healing path regarding Fearful Avoidance and related core wounds. So far, I don't see any signs that she has changed. Still, I wish her well.
Bruh stop focusing on her n focus only on you, yourself in this time. Forget her. Something magically happens when u remove ur energy from them N they could literally sense that Meaning stop even giving them energy in your thoughts, completely cut down the energy supply N let karma do the rest💯 who ever leaves always come back around
@@diaryofseresha That is exactly what I have done. Moved on. See her in social events periodically, but no interaction beyond eye contact. It’s all in my past now.
@@russellcameronthomas2116 If my ex bf was only matured like you 😢 I admire your mentality even from this comment alone. It was not your loss that she broke up with you ~
@ Thanks so much! Update: It is now 1.5 years since the breakup, but feels like farther in the past. I've come along way since then, learned a ton about attachment styles, wounds, and relationship skills. I'm wiser and more capable now. Just 2 days ago, she was at the dance event with her new boyfriend. She still hasn't talked to me, even though she was 3 feet away from me at one time, facing me while talking to someone else. It was very weird, energetically. It might be that she wants to pretend that we never met, that we never had this short, intense relationship. If she talked to me, I would talk to her, but otherwise I don't want or need anything from her. I actually feel *more relaxed* when she is there with her new boyfriend, because they just dance face to face in the same spot, while I can enjoy the whole floor and all the other people. I wish her well but there is no chance that we will get back together. I have moved on, I have grown into a different and better person. Best wishes to you and your growth process!
Stay strong people. I’m on week 6 of break up and I went into no contact straight away. We were together for 4 years and was someone I thought I’d be with for the rest of our lives. He’s stalking all of my social media accounts but I’m now at the point where I’m not even sure I’d take him back if he asked. I was completely broken for the first 5 weeks and thought I’d never be able to move on. Coach Lee is right in everything he says but even if your ex doesn’t come back you will be ok.
The part where you say they want to gack into relief was a ah ha moment for me! I'm sure thats why she checked out my story! She is an avoidant and this is the most logical explanation based on what i know of her. Thank you!
Well folks I'm 6 months and I feel amazing!. I've started seeing an old flame and my ex went mental with me. I've moved on and she told me her life isn't great and she been crying few times. I don't want her back and I'm focusing on myself and my career with NHS. Thank you coach Lee for all your guidance.
It’s been 14 months since she walked out and I miss her more than ever. Especially this time of the year ain’t going to be good. I am still doing No Contact but I know she is seeing someone !!😢😢
We’ve ALL been there. I had to watch an ex date someone new in front of my face bc we worked together. It was torture. But years later she matters nothing to me. The point is when we truly let go the universe will put someone else in your path. If you still hold on to the past you’ll miss everything in the present.
This person you speak of is long gone. You do not love them, love is only idea in your mind that is supplimented by a chemical reaction which you have control over, you only think you love what could've been. You might need professional help. You may have an obsessive personality
Wish i'd listened to Coach Lee 2 years ago. It's easy in hindsight to say that but if I had then I wouldn't have screwed up my situation even worse and set myself back further. This guy is so wise and he talks so much sense regarding relationships. Best Coach out there by far. Listen in people don't screw up like me
Hi Lee. I just want to say you are an incredible person. You are helping so many people by reading the comments and lot of people are helped by your videos and on behalf of everyone thank you. We need more people like you in this world. I miss my ex but I’m going to try no contact and hope she comes back. We wasn’t toxic we was great but we began to bicker and some other problems, I was the main problem and I’m going to use this time to better myself and I promise to the world that I will fix my mistakes and if we ever get back together i wont allow myself to mess up again.
Keep going. I was a bit needy when he got distant so can see why he ended it. Staying away deffo helps. Not just them but yourself too. I can see where I went wrong and even if he doesn’t come back I know I can be a better version of me. I second that thanks coach Lee xx
Don’t beg, don’t chase, don’t write, don’t call. No one should have that much power over you. They are NOT better than you! Stay in no contact - it works! They must feel your loss. Give them space to miss you. They may not reach out to you but I guarantee if you were a good person to them, in 3 months they will be thinking about you. They may not reach out but they are thinking about you. No contact has worked for me in every relationship- EVERY SINGLE TIME! Learn to love yourself and put yourself first. You’ll heal quickly and only once you put energy into yourself is when they will come back!! Stay in no contact no matter what. Listen to Coach Lee!! 💪🏽
Going on about 4 months NC, she broke up with me over the phone LOL. it started with Im confused about my career, financially and you, just everything. She requested to give her a week of no contact and i did, then she stated that I had crossed boundaries (I didnt know what they were until she brought them up, didnt communicate them). Saw me in person, and didnt wanna break up with me, wanted to work it out. for about 2 weeks we texted back and forth, then out of nowhere, "We are not compatible, you crossed my boundaries" She did it over the phone, after 2 years together. Sucks, but as time goes by im learning it has nothing to do with me, it has everything with her. She has personal issues she needs to deal with. Will she come back? Who knows, and I guess time will tell but sticking to NC and discovering myself in this hard but rewarding journey of life.
VERY similar thing happened to me. Mine went on a "retreat" with some people from various social circles of hers, came back a completely different person than she was before. She was so "off" or just not herself that I started to begin to wonder if she cheated on me or something to where I actually confronted her about it; ever accused her of cheating, but said she was just really "weird" after going on this trip and she opened up to me that she had "re opened some old wounds" and said that our relationship was making her "anxious" and all these things. I asked her if we could try to chill out and not talk so much about our "future," but rather focus on the present and just enjoy each others company since we had GREAT personal, conversational, and even sexual chemistry. She agreed to "give it a try," but also asked if she could have 4-5 days of space just to process and relax. I gave her that, didn't text her or call once, stayed off social media, etc. We ended up going almost 2 weeks without seeing each other and only called once (via facetime and talked for almost 3 hours). She finally came back to me, we spent our first night back "together" at a concert that her and I bought tickets to when we first started dating and I couldn't have asked for a more magical evening. She showed up to my place at noon on a friday, I gave her the white glove, royal treatment and the next morning, we were laying, cuddling in bed. She lamented to me of how no man had ever treated her as well as I did, that the previous evening was one of the single greatest evenings of her life and we spent that whole next day together, 30 hours together in total. SHE said to ME when she left Saturday evening that she couldn't believe we spent 30 hours together, how it felt like 3 hours and that every second we spend together flies by because everything we do, even just going to the grocery store, always feels like an adventure. Sunday goes by, we had plans to go on a walk and she bailed, said her stomach hurt and it didn't bother me. Then Monday, she texts me at like 6am a cute selfie followed by the fact that she was starting a new position at her job that day and would probably be off her phone for most of the day. Then, Tuesday morning, she texts me at like 5:30 am before work telling me her "heart is heavy" and that she was ending things. Refused to meet in person, facetime, or even call on the phone which was 100% NOT like her as she was a HUGE caller/facetimer. I actually didn't protest at all, but asked her merely to elaborate and help me understand what she's going through and she gave me all the usual "I'm busy with work" or "I'm not emotionally available" DA excuses. It wasn't till after 72 hours of no contact that she opened up to me that Friday and told me that she had started going to therapy almost immediately after that retreat she went on to "heal wounds stemming back to her childhood" as well as a decade of extremely toxic, borderline abusive relationships. We've been in NC for almost a month now, I'm 100% off all social media, though some mutual followers of ours (from when I had my Instagram still) told me that she's CONSTANTLY posting things on her stories nonstop, which again is unlike her because she almost never posted anything while we were together, but also posting all sorts of things about "freedom" and "development" as if she was dating jeffrey dahmer while her and i were together lol. I think that this is that initial "separation elation" and it also didn't help that her best girlfriend came to town to spend 3 weeks with her immediately following the breakup so that was a heavy distraction to her. I've actually really come around mentally and realized that I don't think her and I would have worked anyway as she has the emotional maturity of a 15 year old (we're both 32) and I think she's too reactive/flighty, tends to just run away and hide from any issues like a typical DA. Hopefully, therapy can help her cause I think she has the foundation to actually be a relatively decent person, but she has a TOOOOONNNNN of work to do. The only thing that's bothered me was that she offered zero closure of any kind and even went as far as to tell me she wrote a song about me 10 days after meeting me, which she had never done for anyone else before me, and that "if we are meant to be together, the universe will find a way to put us back together." She also has several things of mine (mainly shirts and books) as well as a guitar/amp we bought together (she paid for it all, but said I was the one who pushed/inspired her to learn to play). So far, these videos have been 100% spot on for DA behavior and she's followed the script like to a T, so it's actually relatively likely she'll reach out at some point, but I honestly don't think i could ever trust her again. She took her own abandonment issues and just passed them onto me.
@@roydied15yeah this girl seems really unstable emotinally. I'm sorry you had to go through all this. But you are really strong. Good Luck for the futur !
Wow the “getting mad” part Coach mentioned at the end makes me finally feel seen. It’s a fuckin mind trip to go from begging her to reconcile, being told no a thousand different ways, to then going no contact and she’s now angry at me for giving her what she literally petitioned through the court to have happen? What does it all mean! If it wasn’t for my two wonderful kiddos I’d pray for god to make me gay, I’m tired of trying to figure out how women think
For me, no contact means no contact. If I have the other person in my heart, I will contact him instead of waiting for him to contact me. True love gives people motivation and security instead of worrying about gains and losses all day long……❤
This video could not have come at a better time. It’s been an exact month now since our breakup, though she immediately had a rebound. Not sure how they delays things in the grand scheme, but safe to say I’m much closer to the curiosity stage now than before.
Good luck! I was dumped for someone else, who just dumped his gf. So a double rebound. Been in NC 6 months. She said she valued the friendship and had no hesitency to talking, but her actions tell the truth (shes not interested)
My ex wife started seeing someone else. Hurts like hell. Maintains no contact but I’m mostly feeling sick . Hoping her new love interest fails, but then I take it back. The right thing is to wish her the best.
18th day of NC. the pain is unbearable. i dont think he’s ever coming back in my life. he’s not reaching out and i dont think he will. i just pray for my heart to heal and accept that its over.
Just be patient, remember, no contact is for you to heal and move on from the past. Not to win the person. You just gotta move on and continue on with your life. Let no contact do its thing
42 Days no contact! I'm so close to breaking, but i've seen some of the signs. He's been mirroring my posts on snapchat, wherein he left me some jealousy bait(how lovely of him!). I heard this through my brother- cause i'm ignoring them all.- He watches all my stories and posts where he knows I can see; he never uses Instagram but he's started posting happy stuff there, as i've unfriended him on Facebook. He's bread crumbing me so hard, and I feel like i'm about the break! 😢 I feel like he's wanting my attention, and i feel weak. Damn. I feel like he'll never reach out himself, i always do the fixing...
You are doing great! It is so hard to keep going when you can just think that reaching out will fix things. Some are a lot harder to learn than others. Some people are very toxic and selfish in relationships. They want all the fun but put the hard work and the guilt of failure on you! Of course no one likes to do all the work. No one likes to be the problem. That is why if you keep fixing it for him, he will never learn the error of his ways and change And you will be forever miserable. I am saying all this for myself as well. Went NC for 9 months before she reached out on my birthday. And didn't say she missed me just said I could call her if I wanted to talk. Leaving it all on me to come running back and fix again. Take all the blame. I don't want to go back to that. I want a good relationship even though I miss her so much and feel like Im going to give in. I need to do it so that if we get back together the relationship is better and stronger this time. Don't want to go back to the same old cycle. We were together for almost 7 yrs. Insanely close and knew everything about one another. I expect she's been with at least 3 guys since me. One I know of for sure and the thoughts destroy my mind ...but I still love her. Stay strong!!!!
It's exhausting especially as a woman to be in the masculine role of pursuing and initiating. Stay in your feminine role of receiving and attracting. You want a masculine man who leads and is courting you. He sounds like a feminine man and immature man who needs growing to do still. How will he ever propose if he cant even message you first to reconcile. If you desire a masculine man, do nothing...
I'm on day 42 right at this moment. I have had twinges the past 24 hours or so, but I know I went four months before with her and she reached out in the so-called sweet spots of days 45-60 a few times. I am NOT going to make contact with her, and honestly I'm fine if I don't hear from her again at this point.
@@basicinfo2022 Coach Lee says it's the role of whoever dumped is the one that needs to initiate contact, and or pursuing. If the woman was the dumper, it's the woman that needs to at least come back and begin the talks.
@@PB-md3nt I decided to reach out after 4 months as Coach Lee suggested. We had contact for about a month and then he told me he was seeing someone randomly. -I decided then and there i'd had enough(He did it late one night, when he knew I was having a good time with my friends-for the first time in awhile), I blocked him everywhere and I deleted his number. I think he purposefully tried to hurt me and hanging on was keeping me trapped in hell. I'm not happy at the mo, but i'm going to try dating again. I'm done with him.
I am beginning to think that all of these games are not worth the trouble. After 25 years I never expected to walk in on my wife with the next door neighbor. It"s just not worth it. Goodbye!!
People if they do not thing everything right leave them and forget about them. Its been one month of no contact ive been dumped and I realize Im over it. relationships are fragile for a reason and easy to escape for a reason too.
I wasn’t officially dating but was together with a girl for almost a year. She randomly ghosted me then had a boyfriend. He was a piece of shit and had a family behind her back and they broke up. She reached out and said “I liked you and felt like we were dating and something held me back, I don’t know what it was but I regret it more than anything.” Talked through text for a couple months then hung out a few times. Asked if she wanted to go do something and she asked if I meant like a date. I told her not officially a date but not as just friends. She said no that she doesn’t see us being more than friends. I told her I like her too much and can’t do that. Haven’t talked to her for almost a month but her mom told me she constantly brings me up and says that I would “be a good husband” but also says I hate her. I know she likes me and I like her too but as of now I’m doing no contact hoping some time and reflection will make her feel differently. If not I hope I can move on and find somebody else who will appreciate me. Here’s to hoping things change.
I knocked him out of his curiosity stage it seems... he started liking my posts and stories and watching them... (I didn't react and have unfollowed him for a few months) and now he only watches some of my stories... no reach out...
He just wished me a happy birthday and asked me how I am. He sent it at 11:55pm so must have been back and forth on it all day. Fingers crossed he’s in the beginnings of the curiosity stage!
Broke up 6 months ago, 4 months of full NC. She said she valued the friendship, I said it was dumb we werent in contact. No response. Use no contact to heal. My life is so much better. Currently considering unfollowing her on social media...because she left me for someone else and still refuses to fix things on a basic level.
It's been over a month since my boyfriend of a year and I got into a heated argument and he hung up on me. It was my fault. I was speaking angrily and disrespectful to him. I have reached out and texted him and sincerely apologized. I have tried to call and speak with him, but he is ignoring me. I don't think no contact is working. It's been over a month now and I haven't heard back from him. I really love him and I hope that we can reconcile & he will forgive me. It's easier said then done to just be able to walk away and forget about someone you truly love and want to be with.
She is already been dating past past two months with the person she’s called me multiple times while she was with him, drunk and cried, saying how she missed me, but then when she is sober, she doesn’t feel the same way. I don’t know if I should keep waiting for her or really just let it go. She was my first relationship so it’s hard we used to be on and off a lot but she would always come back to me.
I love you, you always make me feel better. I know we can not be back together, but I do want him to want me back. He does come back but he doesn't want to give any answers after 10 years, leaving me for someone else. Your videos help me not go crazy bat shit, when I want to.
He wanted to have a conversation after the break up, to tell me "some other things not concerning the breakup". I told him i needed time and space before we could have that conversation. I told him he could ask me again to talk if he always wants to but after some time has passed. And then i went into no contact. But now i'm thinking i've ruined every thing. He knows why i'm not reaching out so he won't ask himself about my silence.
I blocked him on everything and he reached out to me on Pinterest to tell me happy birthday. I said thank you and blocked him on that as well. You did what you did I’m not interested anymore
He told me that he'll not be available for a while after an argument. I respected his wishes and gave him space. I reached out to him after a week to know what was going on. He texted that it's over. I told him to tell that to me on face and he declined. He's been so mean. I'm in third month of breakup. I reached out to him thrice in 2 months. The last time I texted him was when he left my stuff with the guard. I sent him angry texts. Couldn't control my emotions. That was 2 weeks ago. All the times that I've reached out in last two months were angry texts. This is the 3rd month and I'm hurting more than ever. There is resentment and anger but I do miss that person. NC works. It worked for me with the same person. I don't think it's going to work for me this time around. He should have given in by now.
rirus, First of all, STOP pleading with him bcse it makes you look weak. Just from your comment, it sounds like he lost attraction for you. He could have met someone new, or just got tired of the relationship. Go NO Contact with him and don't contact him in any way. I hope it works out for you. ❤
Coach lee thank you it's been hard and you have no idea how much you have helped me and I can't imagine how many thousand you have helped you are an amazing person
What are the stages of no contact for cases in which your partner was hurt or you damaged their trust, and they felt they had to let you go? I think its a bit different than the typical "gradual loss of emotional attraction" because everything was good until that moment
mxlx95, in all honesty, every situation is different. Yours is no different than if the situation were reversed. Go NO Contact and see what happens in due time. Good luck to you.
My ex is tooo stubborn, I don't know if we can even fixed anything, cuz I tried my best to make her understand but it's useless and it's really frustrating, even if she comes back I'm not sure if I can even fixed anything with her, I doubt that , she's self centered stubborn human u can ever meet
4 months of separation of the ex husband of 18 years, I was in NC for 3 months but my NC is not that strict due to kids, he now started going out and drink! I can’t wait to see him sick! He’s underlying diseases!
I have been in no contact for 3 weeks. He reached out because our birthday is coming up. His birthday is the day before mine. He sent a text in the middle of the night to " remind me"... I guess as if I don't know when my birthday is? Which is crazy 🤣. When I didn't respond he waited a hour and called me. I didn't answer. I felt that it was too late at night. So the next day I replied with a thanks and that's it. Haven't returned his call. Staying in no contact. This happened last weekend. So far so good 😊
Смотрю все видео тренера Ли на постоянной основе. Я в NC с тех пор как муж в середине ссоры ударил меня и решил расстаться, пошло около 2 недель и он пишет моим братьям, спрашивая где я и чем занимаюсь. Хочу чтобы вы пожелали мне сил и удачи, что я смогла решиться подать на развод. Вы делаете огромную и полезную работу помогая людям восстановить свой mindset и свое разбитое сердце 🫠💕
I'm 3 weeks today on NC. tho we live together we limit everything and are civil. She wants to move out and we been together nearly 6 years, we were gonna get married next year, I'm keeping strong and not easy considering I miss her every day. Hope your all doing OK.
gamerplayz, I would recommend Coach Lee's mini course for you Six years is along time. MyExBackCoach.com/hope-for-marriages-in-crisis Hopefully this will help you both out.
@@sloanmagnum50090:28 For me, no contact means no contact. If I have the other person in my heart, I will contact him instead of waiting for him to contact me. True love gives people motivation and security instead of worrying about gains and losses all day long……❤
Been in no contact for 13 month now. 2 Month after breakup she got together with her bestfriend, they are still together. Lost all hope but still miss her.
I broke up with my partner because he just did not take me as his priority, and treated me like a nobody. I just want to move on but I still have feelings for him.
He blocked me for 15 months, and then 5 weeks ago he unblocked me, I thought we'd both moved on, I'm staying no contact, he done thus, it's up to gim to fix it , if it means anything, even just friends. He hasnt reached out yet.
I have been doing so well in no contact until today. He has reached out to me a few times (impersonal messages) to which I responded politely, no more. Last night the area my ex lives in was hit with severe storms, several friends in that area reporting trees down, damaged roofs and flooding, etc. He lives alone in the middle of 3 acres of woods all around and no near neighbors. I know how he thinks and it would seem cold to not check on him, we both always text our friends to check on them. So I sent him (and several friends) a text "Checking to see if you and (dog) are ok after those storms in your area? Stay safe." How badly have I damaged "no contact"? Did I do the wrong thing?
He broke up 6 weeks ago after 3 years together and shopping for engagement rings. Said he just wants peace and no relationship, he says no hard feelings between us. I was cool and dignified, gave him the break up. He will send me a text about every 8-10 days no message just discount coupons or such. Texted me Merry Christmas. He will like some of my posts and I have liked some of his posts in our social group FB page. When he broke up he said we can still be friends and go to events together, camping and kayaking, I didn't respond. Coach Lee what is your opinion about doing things w them as a friend? I don't want the friend zone!! Some coaches say tell them we have always been friends but I can't be Just friends. In 7 weeks is a big hockey game we always attended and he pre-purchased tickets for us and 4 friends to attend together. IF he invites me to go do I say yes??
It’s been 3 and half months. There’s been a period of no contact that he continues to break and breadcrumb. With weird comments and questions. “Check out this car” and “what kind of green teas should I be taking for male pattern baldness….” Wtf. You broke my heart, tore me up and you want my help? You want me to be your online resource for your health? No. Not ok. So I am keeping some space and not answering as a girlfriend anymore. Just as a stranger. Obviously if he won’t even meet with me in person to talk I shouldn’t be putting in any effort. It hurts still and I cry all the time. I have lost trust in people at this point. But trying to heal. The insane part is I want him back but not if I have to go through this again.
@@LaReineDiana2024 but he seems to think he has infinite time and I’ll just wait around indefinitely. Which is not a healthy relationship. I’ve done that before. Not wanting to be alone and someone’s help desk when they’re lonely. Relationships are reciprocal and it takes both parties putting in effort. At this point I’m not writing him and he’s not texting so he can figure himself out and if he wants to communicate he knows where I am. I may not be available but…
He breadcrumbed me big time using my discount card at a store because he is the only one that has the code, I know he wanted me to call...and make life easy for him.
Mine reached out a week after ending things. She wanted to wish me a happy birthday. Confusing right? Fast forward over a year. Get a message from her about the loss of her good friend. Confused? I’m confused. I was enjoying the company of a new woman. My response to my ex took a few hours. Since I had met this friend a few times. I told her to pass my condolences to her friend’s husband and family. And I’m in no contact again.
It is possible to get them back. But careful what you wish for... We were together 8 years then broke up and stayed apart for 3. We kept in touch during the breakup and stayed civil, but never spoke about our personal lives. We never figured we would get back together, so what she did was her business and I didn't want to know about it. Then after 3 years, finally she messaged about actually seeing me and we started up again. Everything seemed different in a good way. She was more open and relaxed, it felt like we moved on from so many of our past problems. Then about a year in, the old "her" started creeping back in. Hiding her phone, being cryptic and secretive about who she was spending time with. Outright lying. Lots of excuses for not wanting to spend time with me. Another 6 months go by, and she dumps me again thru a Facebook message. She could never do the hard stuff face to face. And she is with someone new already. I doubt she will ever come back a 3rd time, but if she does I have to be ready to say absolutely not. I love her but don't want to go thru losing her ever again. This is awful
What if my ex is asking to go out during no contact period? I know what to do if he texts or calls, but should I go out with him if he wants? He hugs me often and wants intimacy, saying how good I am and beautiful, buying me things. But he doesn't want relationships. Should I reject him? I am so confused. We were together for 8 years.
8 years dating him and now he's downgrading you into a FWB? So selfish and disrespectful of him. He's stopping you from going no contact and moving on to a man who wants the same things as you. Call his bluff and go no contact again.
It’s been 3 years since, after a 13 year relationship. I did go into no contact. But all of a sudden there are photos of us he shared in my phone’s album I never saw before. He didn’t text me but shared it? Strange….
Im so confused. Broke up with my ldr girlfriend 3 months ago. Wanted no contact for a while but she wanted to be friends. Sometimes she tells me she has nearly ask me back a few times. Others she disappears for 4 days. I didnt contact her for 4 days and she text at 3am saying we should delete our communication app. Then i replied and she has disappeared
She always watches all my stories & even likes some posts. I never like or watch any of her posts. But she won’t reach out. I reached out & she responds but getting her to go with me again has been hit & miss. She initially broke up with me bc she felt I didn’t care & never tried. I certainly took her for granted :/
So I was trying to repair the relationship in no contact stage, but after couple of months I lost interest in her, and even if she come back I don't want relationship , also I need to know if the person who betrayed once can they be forgiven or leave them what is your opinion
jameschen7553. I'm happy no contact worked for you. It makes you think about what you really want. The other situation is up to you, depending on what they did. My personal opinion on CHEATING is I would never take a CHEATER back. They can do it again. James, everyone is different. Follow your GUT feeling. Your heart. I wish you the best of luck. We are ALWAYS here for you.❤
ex broke up cuz he wanted to study but he would always stare secretly...a day before I had an emotional outburst and confronted him to clear things out at first he said that he was planning on trying to rekindle the relationship after a few years but now since I had confronted him while he was trying to ignore the pressure he says that even if he feels anything for me he won't try to rekindle our relationship also due to my emotional outburst I said a lot of bad things to him like you won't even care if I die and all. He talked to one friend of mine who is going through the same thing expressing to her he wanted a break and that he is angry that i talked about death...also he is not good at expressing himself and communicating.... yesterday he came near my bus to talk to his teacher who was sitting in front but he knew it was my bus and that i seat at the back ....he started walking to where i seat we didn't say anything but had eye contact until he moved past the window... when he saw me sitting with a boy in my bus he kept on staring.... and when a girl from my class asked about our break up he told it was due to his stupidity and gave a sad smile then told he can't give time.... He always looks at me when I am laughing loudly...makes annoying comments to talk to me but can't talk normally although i am ignoring him....idk what will happen....
I've been with no contact with my ex for about 2 weeks after we broke up but I was still checking her socmed accounts. But after one time I found out that there was this guys trying to make a move on her doing the things that I did when we where together. I know for sure she doesn't have feelings about that guy and we've talked about it but somethings got escalated after that we talk for a while and it ends up me showing up that I really wanted her alot I got anxiety and ended up hurting my self and she's like duhh and blocked me. Rightnow it's just been a couple of days for having no contact again hopefully I'll get over this but something's on my mind that's been bothering what if and I really wanted to get rid of those. I just want to forget her basically
Going through a breakup now, 20 years together 10 married and he walked out and left 5 months ago. He said no final decision on what next until end of January. We’re still in contact but he doesn’t live with me anymore. He is having more contact but very hot and cold. He is adamant is over and just giving it time from respect of 21 years together! Someone help! What do I do? Do I cut him off? Or keep trying
Louise-cz6y5, I am so sorry to hear about your marriage. There is a chance! There's always a chance. Coach Lee has a free mini course that will definitely help.MyExBackCoach.com/hope-for-marriages-in-crisis As I said, this course is FREE, and please, look into it. Remember, there is ALWAYS a chance. ❤❤
5months into the break up and been in no contact for 4 months. but no difference and probably in a worse stage now even. No contact might work for some, or even most, but i guess not for me. I dont even have any option to reach out either. So this is going to go on.
I can testify, at least for myself, that if they reach out, for whatever reason, not necessarily to come back, it gets much easier to move on with your life. And the "every relationship is different" mantra is the truest of all. I've dumped and been dumped before and the pain has been completely different each time. From being completely over in weeks to not completely moving on in years (this time, unfortunately).
@@r.maelstrom4810 not looking to move on either. honestly, dont care for all that. and self destruction is easier than moving on. so i would choose the easier way through.
That’s what I think. He did this to try out other people. So let him. Cause if he’s taking this time to heal himself and grow that’s one thing but to be sleeping around I can’t accept. I will never take him back if he comes back and admits he slept with other people.
So i was blocked by my ex and she said its enough i dont want to be with you anymore a month passes and she unblocks me, after one week she follows me, now just waiting what will happen
My ex wife, who left me in August, changed her relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship" with her best friend (who is happily married to her husband). I know it's a joke, but is this breadcrumbing me to reach out?
davidmartin4041, David, I wouldn't count that out about her best friend. A lot of people are "coming out" and maybe your wife did also. If it's a joke, you will find out soon enough. Good luck to you ❤
davidmartin, David, I'm glad you know her that well. OK, say it is a joke, I don't know what she's trying to do regarding bread crumbs, but stay NO Contact with her. Give her (and yourself) TIME..GOOD LUCK, DAVE.
Hi and thanks a lot Coach Lee! You help a lot. I wish I saw it before cause the first week I tried like 2 to get her back even wrote a letter! Now im in no contact for 13 days tho after a okayish talk on instagram about her cat. Anyway, what I wanna know is if I should post Instagram stories with other girls or one girl. Will jealousy make it better or worse? And the question is, how can I know that she does not think/know i only do it to get her back or make her jealous? There is many coaches and websites saying different things. Some say post stories with girls it helps a lot other say its the worst thing you can do.
Coach Lee says in some of his other videos that that isn’t really the best thing to do because you don’t know how your ex will react. You don’t know if they’ll be like oh he moved on already so easily I’m just not even going to try anymore and then they move on completely
The reason that people respond so vastly differently to pictures of their ex with members of the opposite sex is why I say not to do that until you are truly ready to move on.
today was the 1st my ex messaged me in almost 6 weeks. didn't say much. Just said she had my stuff if I ever wanted to meet to get it. and she said sorry. said she heard some songs and thought about me. she gave me a couple updates about her life. I didn't say much just let her talk. shes still not coming back
After the break-up I've asked him to block me on social media, so that it's easier for me. He's not able to see anything about me. He won't unblock me as I requested it. He's in a rebound relationship now. Earlier I chased him, begged etc.. but I suddenly stopped and went no contact. How will curiosity or anything else work in this case? We had a 5 years relationship with very strong bond, but distance and lot of external circumstances caused a lot of stress, and he got "emotionally tired", although we still love each other (he said that).
i reached out after two months of NC to say sorry for the ugly breakup, now im in month 4 better than ever, but now i wonder if it was the right move to apolagise, maybe she would have reached out by now if i didnt break NC, but at the same time after i had said sorry she told me she had no hard feelings and i started to feel alot better.
mariia7044, YES, take a break, and go NO Contact. Also, get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit which will help you immensely. myexbackcoach.com/ebk/ Discount Code: 2A53FC This Kit will really help you.
I was there , I thought I’ll die cuz of the pain . He dumped me I didn’t beg . Did No contact for four months . He reached out he was begging me . We are now married for one year . Follow what Couch is saying . I listened each and every video every day for four months
thanks for commenting this , im 3 months no contact and i feel like shell never reach out , seeing yours took longer then mine currently is made me stop feeling like i have to reach out now. thank you!
Im right there with you bro, same situation we must stay strong!
Why did he dump you, what did he do while he was on his own and why did he feel the need to come back and why did you take him back? I'm just curious how the series of events leads to marriage.
@@sloanmagnum5009 it’s a long story we come from different cultures, and the issue was with his family . We had a small fight and then he got angry then he broke up with me . He tells me he was just doing nothing just focusing on himself. I did the same to myself just loving me . One day we were met at the church and the rest is history.
@@JackIsCool070 do not reach out to. Don’t give her your powers
No contact is for your sanity, not theirs. Remember that.
I hope it's starting to bother them. And I want it to be where they miss me more and more.
She did reach out, 3 months and 14 days.. on my birthday. I had given up hope, and I admit that I cried in raw emotion from her message. Yup.. no contact is that hard. But DO no contact. Dont give in. She wants to meet up now, and discuss something.. I am not sure if I will get her back, but I consider this a victory. And in the meantime I have reconnected with friends, family, been travelling, and trained... even if she dont come back.. im ok
Update?
Don’t give in
So - we videotalked for 2 hours. She is having alot of stress, got fired from her job. And have to work with herself through a therapist. I actually did understand the need for her to break up, as she was mentally spiralling downwards, after an extremely hard 2023 (the both of us). I decided to let her be herself. Let her work on herself, so she can feel something again. Give her space. Its been 4 months since she broke up, and I set a timeframe for how long I want to "wait" for her... I give her 2 months more, and if she is not really in contact with me at the time, I will just move on. @@Whatsthedealio1977
So... we met up. Hugged, she talked alot, cried... I tried to just listen, and make the conversation light and casual. It worked... she took my arm, held it... I hugged her again. She said she wanted to have me let her go, but she also said that I should not make her go... (go figure) - my thoughts are that she is stressed, and really does not know what she wants. She leaned her head into my chest when we hugged goodbye. Its been 10 days since I heard from her. I am not writing. But I am also not waiting.
@@TheCSish she metup with you for closure i guess cuz clearly someone else in her heart or life or she saw no future with u
You shouldnt have given her the closure n pleasure to hug you, if that's hurting you now thinking about it
3 months on no contact! It does get easier.. sometimes I just want to sit and cry! But I turn the pain to work on myself 10× longer and harder! It helps me! Stay strong
It’s been 3 months here too, shit hurts:/ idek if i want to get her back, i just want a text back
Sanvhez, what do you expect to see kn @@GG.Sanchoo
Three Months??? Oh my God.
That's a really long time. It's been a month for me. Wondering if he even misses me?
This will be a popular video. Curiosity stage is them beginning their journey back to you and their heartache for you....have faith in the process!
Thanks, the video hasn’t done quite as well as we hoped, but it can still get out to a lot of people.
@@RealCoachLee May be try changing the title for SEO
In no contact for about 2 weeks. holding on strong!! working on myself and my career! your videos have helped my mental health tremendously, thank you coach lee!!
Keep grinding. It gets easier with time. Whether the person comes back around or not you’ll be stronger for walking away.
im in my 4th month, and i tell you it gets exponetially easier to deal with. the first two months are tough, but if you can get through that period you're good and are most likely going to win this no contact stuff.
I’ve been in no contact for a month. I was certain that I’d never hear from my ex again. It was a terrible, drawn out breakup. Yet after the second week, she’s been unblocking me then blocking me every day or every other day. So now since I’ve given her that space, she’s had time to go through emotions that aren’t anger. I haven’t heard from her yet but her family contacts me daily. 8 notice she’s looking at my social medias. And plus, I have some important things that she left at our house when she moved out and she knows they’re there, we’ve talked about it before u went no contact. So I’m just giving her space and working on myself and when she’s ready, she will contact me to get her things and ahead of time will see something different in me. And if she doesn’t, then ok, I’ve grown, I’ve attracted many people recently, good people. I hope to work things out with her because I have a ring for her, but if not. I’ll sell the ring and move on with my life
Also at the two month mark. She has checked with me twice, one call, one text. I replied to both casual and positive. I will not do her job as she fired me. Stay strong.
I know she will never come back to me. The way she ended it so abruptly and I know her personality... When she makes a decision it's final. But these videos are still really helpful for my mindset. Just gotta keep going
Could she be born earth sign?
Taurus, not sure what kind of sign that is@@GsxrGirl5049
Any news from her?
Unless she’s a sociopath, the coldness and absoluteness is a facade, IF your ex is truly dismissive.
This actually works man! I really didn’t think it was not going to work. He told me it would take a miracle to take me back. Initially I went into no contact because I wanted him back. But after the first week, I started doing a lot of things for myself and started to focus on my own healing process. I was slowly getting better. I was journaling my progress as well. And guess who contacted me in 13 days, my ex! He said he missed me and realized he didn’t want to do life without me and when I tell you, he was really singing a different tune. But now I’m at a place where I’m at peace with being alone for now and focused on my goals. But coach lee was correct on everything. He admitted to feeling all these things during all these stages as the dumper. But we are on friendly terms now.
Over 2 months NC. It's funny and encouraging how pain of her absence turned into somehow kind of relief and more strength. Pain is giving us two roads: you either keep suffering and regreting (of course, you have to mourn and have that rollercoaster of emotions from time to time) or accept it, let it go and making yourself stronger and more resilient. It will happen naturally when we do it right way and let words and emotions vent correctly.
Actually don't want her back ! She wanted to come back I said no ! Took about 60 days but I'm good now. I didn't think it would change this fast but it's amazing, I stopped contacting them only responded when she texted me. Now she's crying wants me back. Nope if you can leave me once she can do it again. Thank you this was a blessing she did me a favor ! Coach Lee is the man ! He knows what he's talking about.
Yup, they will always have one foot out the door, waiting for something better.
Good job king 👑
Exactly, if they did it once, they will do it again
I feel so lost. My boyfriend of almost 3 years broke up with me 30 days ago. We were arguing more and a few other things. Nothing I didn't think we couldn't overcome. Obviously, I was devastated and blindsided by this. We were trying to have a baby and talked about marriage. So, regrettably, I begged for about 2 weeks after the breakup...on and off. Not until I came across your videos and started no contact. It's been 30 days since the breakup and about 2.5 weeks of no contact and no signs of him coming back. It's so hard. I really thought this was my person and we overcame so much to just end it over an argument. But I have to try and stay positive--that if they WERE MY PERSON, they would be here right now with me working it out with me. Thank you for your videos.
Mine left too after five years over an argument. I had to tell myself he wanted this and he’s been wanting this for some time. Men tend to hold things in. Not our fault. But his actions of messaging a coworker and getting a little too friendly with an 19 year old at the gym is why I confronted him. Thought we could overcome this as well. Funny my therapist told me how to handle it, and when I did exactly what he said and go about things the healthy way, I get dumped. So there’s no accountability. And you want a partner who will take accountability for hurting you and making you feel the way he does. And we too were looking at houses and talking about marriage. Even asked me what kind of ring I like. Said to me I was his person, wouldn’t be in this with anyone else, I’m the love of his life… he said all these things. I’m just as lost as you are. I’m sorry you’re going through this. But just know God always has a plan. Whether it be to help him realize what he lost, or you realize you can do better without him. ❤
I’m going through the exact same situation as you are and it hurts beyond words. It’s been over a month now and I still haven’t heard not one word back from him. I’ve tried wholeheartedly to apologize via text. I’ve tried to call him and I left sincere apologies on his voice mail. I thought he would forgive me. I thought we could get through this and reconcile. We had a heated argument on the phone late at night the last time we spoke. I was really missing him and I really wanted to see him, but it was very late and he said he couldn’t come over and that’s when I got very angry with him and I was acting controlling on the phone and said disrespectful words to him. (No, he’s not married or in another relationship). We shared everything together and he said he would never leave me and that he would always love me. I don’t think I said anything that terrible to make him want to end our relationship. I’m so sorry for the way I spoke to him and I still love him very much. I don’t think no contact is working. It’s been over a month and I haven’t heard one word back from my boyfriend. I’m afraid I’ve lost him.
@@gingerk.6792 hey love, you seem like a vacillator and it sounds like you have an anxious attachment-style. Only saying this cause I too have called and texted none stop to get him to hear me. Also demanding he work it out. And I too have an anxious attachment style. He sounds like an avoider- which my ex is. And most men tend to be. Giving him space and not texting or calling is what is healthy for the both of you. He will come around but avoidant men need space and once you give it to them they have time to miss what they had. Also, instead of filling your mind with what is he doing, does he think of me, does he miss me, should I drive by his place kind of stuff, start watching attachment style videos and learn about yourself and your attachment style and his as well, to better communicate. Trust me you’ll be doing yourself a great service when knowing how to talk to someone with a different communication style and will teach you in the future how to deal with this in the next relationship, if he doesn’t come back, you’ll be healthier in what you do next time. Hope this helps. And remember, never chase a man who doesn’t want to be chased. Men are supposed to do the chasing not us. He wants out. Let him leave. The best thing to do out of love is let him believe that’s the best decision he’s made, once they realize they can’t find you in someone else they’ll reach out. Give it time love. ♥️
@@gingerk.6792 Be strong! I did being avoidant against my boyfriend also over an argument. I apologize in few days and repeated after a month, a little interaction to his family until I found out hes going into rebound and now I stick to no contact, even to his families. Its been 2 months already no heard from him. Overtime im feeling comfortable by no contact, not gaining anything but I can feel that I dont beg and lower myself on him.
@lindseyhyde4000 how are you now? :)
Coach Lee, I have lost all hope with my ex, unfortunately. She just went into a rebound relationship only 9 weeks after we broke up. She seems so happy and doesn't seem to care about me at all anymore and has moved on so quickly. I wish things were different, but your videos have taught me that all I can do, is all I can do.
I’ve learned so much, I never knew the psychology of relationships. I just thought friendship turned into love and most people were authentic and kind. Now I think selfish people have more satisfaction with their partner, life is just temporary and happiness depends on how you take care of yourself.
Regain your identity, focus on bettering yourself in all aspects. If it doesn't work out, then it really wasn't meant to be. You owe it to yourself to be the best version of yourself. Right now it may seem that its impossible and difficult, but with time, you'll heal your heart. Just don't make the same mistakes in the future. Learn and grow. Stay strong !
I deactivated social media after she left me. Can’t see you, can’t see me 😅
I don’t have any social media accounts. So she doesn’t get to view mine AT ALL!
Brilliant keep it up .I'm no contact for 4 weeks .she dumped me the day before she agreed to move in and block me .I was like like wtf😅
5 1/2 months since breakup, and 5 months of No Contact ("radio silence" since I'm not on any social media). She broke with me over text, adding that she wanted no further contact. After some research, I realized that she was Fearful Avoidant and that the trigger for her deactivation was hearing herself say "I love you. I'm not going anywhere". I have worked on myself and sought support from a coach, which has helped immensely.
I suspect that she is in the Curiosity Stage, or something like that. We have seen each other five times since October in social events (dances, with 75 to 150 people). No more than eye contact or brief non-verbal acknowledgement. I don't go into her space and she keeps to herself. What's weird is that she never used to come to this dance event. It's farther for her to travel and she is skipping an alternative event that used to be one of her favorites. She now knows that is likely that I will be there, but she is also clearly not at ease around me. (She mostly dances by herself, so she is not showing off or obviously trying to get my attention.)
I'm not sure what's going on. If I were in her shoes, and I wanted to avoid an ex- (been there, done that), I would just avoid this dance event and go back to the Old Favorite. Easy solution.
Maybe someday I will hear the whole story. Maybe she has a bunch of mixed motives, including curiosity about how I am doing, and whether I am dancing close with other women (new girlfriend?). Maybe she wants to prove to herself that this doesn't bother her. Maybe she is hoping that I will approach her, initiate contact, or even beg and plead to get back together, so she can be in the power position again. Maybe she is even intending to initiate contact with me, but then chickens out when the opportunity arises.
It doesn't really matter to me any more. I am indifferent about whether she contacts me or not. I'm not closed to the idea of getting back together, but we would need to start from scratch and I would need to know that she is on a healing path regarding Fearful Avoidance and related core wounds.
So far, I don't see any signs that she has changed. Still, I wish her well.
Bruh stop focusing on her n focus only on you, yourself in this time. Forget her.
Something magically happens when u remove ur energy from them
N they could literally sense that
Meaning stop even giving them energy in your thoughts, completely cut down the energy supply
N let karma do the rest💯 who ever leaves always come back around
@@diaryofseresha That is exactly what I have done. Moved on. See her in social events periodically, but no interaction beyond eye contact. It’s all in my past now.
@@diaryofseresha This I think is very true, I feel it as if a voice inside me is telling me.
@@russellcameronthomas2116 If my ex bf was only matured like you 😢 I admire your mentality even from this comment alone. It was not your loss that she broke up with you ~
@ Thanks so much!
Update: It is now 1.5 years since the breakup, but feels like farther in the past. I've come along way since then, learned a ton about attachment styles, wounds, and relationship skills. I'm wiser and more capable now. Just 2 days ago, she was at the dance event with her new boyfriend. She still hasn't talked to me, even though she was 3 feet away from me at one time, facing me while talking to someone else. It was very weird, energetically. It might be that she wants to pretend that we never met, that we never had this short, intense relationship. If she talked to me, I would talk to her, but otherwise I don't want or need anything from her. I actually feel *more relaxed* when she is there with her new boyfriend, because they just dance face to face in the same spot, while I can enjoy the whole floor and all the other people. I wish her well but there is no chance that we will get back together. I have moved on, I have grown into a different and better person.
Best wishes to you and your growth process!
Stay strong people. I’m on week 6 of break up and I went into no contact straight away. We were together for 4 years and was someone I thought I’d be with for the rest of our lives. He’s stalking all of my social media accounts but I’m now at the point where I’m not even sure I’d take him back if he asked. I was completely broken for the first 5 weeks and thought I’d never be able to move on. Coach Lee is right in everything he says but even if your ex doesn’t come back you will be ok.
If he does. Work on each other. Do you want to have the same stuff reoccur? Work on your relationship and value each other.
How do you know he is stalking your social media ?
@@robinshankey2395 must be watching stories, at sc, insta, fb, whatsapp etc. who ever sees ur story u can see them in ur views
The part where you say they want to gack into relief was a ah ha moment for me! I'm sure thats why she checked out my story! She is an avoidant and this is the most logical explanation based on what i know of her. Thank you!
Well folks I'm 6 months and I feel amazing!. I've started seeing an old flame and my ex went mental with me. I've moved on and she told me her life isn't great and she been crying few times. I don't want her back and I'm focusing on myself and my career with NHS. Thank you coach Lee for all your guidance.
Is that some kind of affirmation?
It’s been 14 months since she walked out and I miss her more than ever. Especially this time of the year ain’t going to be good. I am still doing No Contact but I know she is seeing someone !!😢😢
It hurts but one should move on after all this time I guess.
Life is beautiful without someone who isn't pushed about being in it anyways.
We’ve ALL been there. I had to watch an ex date someone new in front of my face bc we worked together. It was torture. But years later she matters nothing to me. The point is when we truly let go the universe will put someone else in your path. If you still hold on to the past you’ll miss everything in the present.
be strong and find someone who you deserve and learn from the best……
This person you speak of is long gone. You do not love them, love is only idea in your mind that is supplimented by a chemical reaction which you have control over, you only think you love what could've been. You might need professional help. You may have an obsessive personality
Wish i'd listened to Coach Lee 2 years ago. It's easy in hindsight to say that but if I had then I wouldn't have screwed up my situation even worse and set myself back further. This guy is so wise and he talks so much sense regarding relationships. Best Coach out there by far. Listen in people don't screw up like me
Same
Hi Lee. I just want to say you are an incredible person. You are helping so many people by reading the comments and lot of people are helped by your videos and on behalf of everyone thank you. We need more people like you in this world. I miss my ex but I’m going to try no contact and hope she comes back. We wasn’t toxic we was great but we began to bicker and some other problems, I was the main problem and I’m going to use this time to better myself and I promise to the world that I will fix my mistakes and if we ever get back together i wont allow myself to mess up again.
Keep going. I was a bit needy when he got distant so can see why he ended it. Staying away deffo helps. Not just them but yourself too. I can see where I went wrong and even if he doesn’t come back I know I can be a better version of me. I second that thanks coach Lee xx
If they come back and you're not doing good, you aren't ready for it
Don’t beg, don’t chase, don’t write, don’t call. No one should have that much power over you. They are NOT better than you! Stay in no contact - it works! They must feel your loss. Give them space to miss you. They may not reach out to you but I guarantee if you were a good person to them, in 3 months they will be thinking about you. They may not reach out but they are thinking about you. No contact has worked for me in every relationship- EVERY SINGLE TIME! Learn to love yourself and put yourself first. You’ll heal quickly and only once you put energy into yourself is when they will come back!! Stay in no contact no matter what. Listen to Coach Lee!! 💪🏽
Going on about 4 months NC, she broke up with me over the phone LOL. it started with Im confused about my career, financially and you, just everything. She requested to give her a week of no contact and i did, then she stated that I had crossed boundaries (I didnt know what they were until she brought them up, didnt communicate them). Saw me in person, and didnt wanna break up with me, wanted to work it out. for about 2 weeks we texted back and forth, then out of nowhere, "We are not compatible, you crossed my boundaries" She did it over the phone, after 2 years together. Sucks, but as time goes by im learning it has nothing to do with me, it has everything with her. She has personal issues she needs to deal with. Will she come back? Who knows, and I guess time will tell but sticking to NC and discovering myself in this hard but rewarding journey of life.
VERY similar thing happened to me.
Mine went on a "retreat" with some people from various social circles of hers, came back a completely different person than she was before. She was so "off" or just not herself that I started to begin to wonder if she cheated on me or something to where I actually confronted her about it; ever accused her of cheating, but said she was just really "weird" after going on this trip and she opened up to me that she had "re opened some old wounds" and said that our relationship was making her "anxious" and all these things. I asked her if we could try to chill out and not talk so much about our "future," but rather focus on the present and just enjoy each others company since we had GREAT personal, conversational, and even sexual chemistry. She agreed to "give it a try," but also asked if she could have 4-5 days of space just to process and relax. I gave her that, didn't text her or call once, stayed off social media, etc. We ended up going almost 2 weeks without seeing each other and only called once (via facetime and talked for almost 3 hours). She finally came back to me, we spent our first night back "together" at a concert that her and I bought tickets to when we first started dating and I couldn't have asked for a more magical evening. She showed up to my place at noon on a friday, I gave her the white glove, royal treatment and the next morning, we were laying, cuddling in bed. She lamented to me of how no man had ever treated her as well as I did, that the previous evening was one of the single greatest evenings of her life and we spent that whole next day together, 30 hours together in total.
SHE said to ME when she left Saturday evening that she couldn't believe we spent 30 hours together, how it felt like 3 hours and that every second we spend together flies by because everything we do, even just going to the grocery store, always feels like an adventure. Sunday goes by, we had plans to go on a walk and she bailed, said her stomach hurt and it didn't bother me. Then Monday, she texts me at like 6am a cute selfie followed by the fact that she was starting a new position at her job that day and would probably be off her phone for most of the day. Then, Tuesday morning, she texts me at like 5:30 am before work telling me her "heart is heavy" and that she was ending things. Refused to meet in person, facetime, or even call on the phone which was 100% NOT like her as she was a HUGE caller/facetimer. I actually didn't protest at all, but asked her merely to elaborate and help me understand what she's going through and she gave me all the usual "I'm busy with work" or "I'm not emotionally available" DA excuses. It wasn't till after 72 hours of no contact that she opened up to me that Friday and told me that she had started going to therapy almost immediately after that retreat she went on to "heal wounds stemming back to her childhood" as well as a decade of extremely toxic, borderline abusive relationships.
We've been in NC for almost a month now, I'm 100% off all social media, though some mutual followers of ours (from when I had my Instagram still) told me that she's CONSTANTLY posting things on her stories nonstop, which again is unlike her because she almost never posted anything while we were together, but also posting all sorts of things about "freedom" and "development" as if she was dating jeffrey dahmer while her and i were together lol. I think that this is that initial "separation elation" and it also didn't help that her best girlfriend came to town to spend 3 weeks with her immediately following the breakup so that was a heavy distraction to her.
I've actually really come around mentally and realized that I don't think her and I would have worked anyway as she has the emotional maturity of a 15 year old (we're both 32) and I think she's too reactive/flighty, tends to just run away and hide from any issues like a typical DA. Hopefully, therapy can help her cause I think she has the foundation to actually be a relatively decent person, but she has a TOOOOONNNNN of work to do. The only thing that's bothered me was that she offered zero closure of any kind and even went as far as to tell me she wrote a song about me 10 days after meeting me, which she had never done for anyone else before me, and that "if we are meant to be together, the universe will find a way to put us back together." She also has several things of mine (mainly shirts and books) as well as a guitar/amp we bought together (she paid for it all, but said I was the one who pushed/inspired her to learn to play). So far, these videos have been 100% spot on for DA behavior and she's followed the script like to a T, so it's actually relatively likely she'll reach out at some point, but I honestly don't think i could ever trust her again. She took her own abandonment issues and just passed them onto me.
@@roydied15yeah this girl seems really unstable emotinally. I'm sorry you had to go through all this. But you are really strong. Good Luck for the futur !
Wow the “getting mad” part Coach mentioned at the end makes me finally feel seen. It’s a fuckin mind trip to go from begging her to reconcile, being told no a thousand different ways, to then going no contact and she’s now angry at me for giving her what she literally petitioned through the court to have happen? What does it all mean! If it wasn’t for my two wonderful kiddos I’d pray for god to make me gay, I’m tired of trying to figure out how women think
im gay and trust me same thing happens to gay men, we all must endure this suffering haha
For me, no contact means no contact. If I have the other person in my heart, I will contact him instead of waiting for him to contact me. True love gives people motivation and security instead of worrying about gains and losses all day long……❤
Thank you for everything
I appreciate it Kaylie! Thank you!
This video could not have come at a better time. It’s been an exact month now since our breakup, though she immediately had a rebound. Not sure how they delays things in the grand scheme, but safe to say I’m much closer to the curiosity stage now than before.
Good luck! I was dumped for someone else, who just dumped his gf. So a double rebound. Been in NC 6 months. She said she valued the friendship and had no hesitency to talking, but her actions tell the truth (shes not interested)
She had sex with someone else and you're still interested in her?
Today hits 1 year for me. 🎉
It’s get better over time .. be strong
I wish I can subscribe more than once....you helped me during my dark days ...
My ex wife started seeing someone else. Hurts like hell. Maintains no contact but I’m mostly feeling sick . Hoping her new love interest fails, but then I take it back. The right thing is to wish her the best.
She will incur bad karma
Thank you for breaking down each stage. Very helpful!
18th day of NC. the pain is unbearable. i dont think he’s ever coming back in my life. he’s not reaching out and i dont think he will. i just pray for my heart to heal and accept that its over.
Just be patient, remember, no contact is for you to heal and move on from the past. Not to win the person. You just gotta move on and continue on with your life. Let no contact do its thing
NC is for you not for him to bring him back but it is for you to heal
42 Days no contact! I'm so close to breaking, but i've seen some of the signs. He's been mirroring my posts on snapchat, wherein he left me some jealousy bait(how lovely of him!). I heard this through my brother- cause i'm ignoring them all.- He watches all my stories and posts where he knows I can see; he never uses Instagram but he's started posting happy stuff there, as i've unfriended him on Facebook.
He's bread crumbing me so hard, and I feel like i'm about the break! 😢 I feel like he's wanting my attention, and i feel weak. Damn.
I feel like he'll never reach out himself, i always do the fixing...
You are doing great! It is so hard to keep going when you can just think that reaching out will fix things. Some are a lot harder to learn than others. Some people are very toxic and selfish in relationships. They want all the fun but put the hard work and the guilt of failure on you! Of course no one likes to do all the work. No one likes to be the problem. That is why if you keep fixing it for him, he will never learn the error of his ways and change
And you will be forever miserable. I am saying all this for myself as well. Went NC for 9 months before she reached out on my birthday. And didn't say she missed me just said I could call her if I wanted to talk. Leaving it all on me to come running back and fix again. Take all the blame. I don't want to go back to that. I want a good relationship even though I miss her so much and feel like Im going to give in. I need to do it so that if we get back together the relationship is better and stronger this time. Don't want to go back to the same old cycle. We were together for almost 7 yrs. Insanely close and knew everything about one another. I expect she's been with at least 3 guys since me. One I know of for sure and the thoughts destroy my mind ...but I still love her.
Stay strong!!!!
It's exhausting especially as a woman to be in the masculine role of pursuing and initiating. Stay in your feminine role of receiving and attracting. You want a masculine man who leads and is courting you. He sounds like a feminine man and immature man who needs growing to do still. How will he ever propose if he cant even message you first to reconcile. If you desire a masculine man, do nothing...
I'm on day 42 right at this moment. I have had twinges the past 24 hours or so, but I know I went four months before with her and she reached out in the so-called sweet spots of days 45-60 a few times. I am NOT going to make contact with her, and honestly I'm fine if I don't hear from her again at this point.
@@basicinfo2022 Coach Lee says it's the role of whoever dumped is the one that needs to initiate contact, and or pursuing. If the woman was the dumper, it's the woman that needs to at least come back and begin the talks.
@@PB-md3nt I decided to reach out after 4 months as Coach Lee suggested. We had contact for about a month and then he told me he was seeing someone randomly. -I decided then and there i'd had enough(He did it late one night, when he knew I was having a good time with my friends-for the first time in awhile), I blocked him everywhere and I deleted his number. I think he purposefully tried to hurt me and hanging on was keeping me trapped in hell. I'm not happy at the mo, but i'm going to try dating again. I'm done with him.
I am beginning to think that all of these games are not worth the trouble. After 25 years I never expected to walk in on my wife with the next door neighbor. It"s just not worth it. Goodbye!!
Yeah wow hell no
That’s awful. 😞
People if they do not thing everything right leave them and forget about them. Its been one month of no contact ive been dumped and I realize Im over it. relationships are fragile for a reason and easy to escape for a reason too.
I wasn’t officially dating but was together with a girl for almost a year. She randomly ghosted me then had a boyfriend. He was a piece of shit and had a family behind her back and they broke up. She reached out and said “I liked you and felt like we were dating and something held me back, I don’t know what it was but I regret it more than anything.” Talked through text for a couple months then hung out a few times. Asked if she wanted to go do something and she asked if I meant like a date. I told her not officially a date but not as just friends. She said no that she doesn’t see us being more than friends. I told her I like her too much and can’t do that. Haven’t talked to her for almost a month but her mom told me she constantly brings me up and says that I would “be a good husband” but also says I hate her. I know she likes me and I like her too but as of now I’m doing no contact hoping some time and reflection will make her feel differently. If not I hope I can move on and find somebody else who will appreciate me. Here’s to hoping things change.
I knocked him out of his curiosity stage it seems... he started liking my posts and stories and watching them... (I didn't react and have unfollowed him for a few months) and now he only watches some of my stories... no reach out...
The guy my ex monkeybranched to got a lip tattoo that says “suh dude.” Yeah, classy, have fun with that, lady 😂😂😂😂
😳😳🤣
He just wished me a happy birthday and asked me how I am. He sent it at 11:55pm so must have been back and forth on it all day. Fingers crossed he’s in the beginnings of the curiosity stage!
Broke up 6 months ago, 4 months of full NC. She said she valued the friendship, I said it was dumb we werent in contact. No response.
Use no contact to heal. My life is so much better. Currently considering unfollowing her on social media...because she left me for someone else and still refuses to fix things on a basic level.
It's been over a month since my boyfriend of a year and I got into a heated argument and he hung up on me. It was my fault. I was speaking angrily and disrespectful to him. I have reached out and texted him and sincerely apologized. I have tried to call and speak with him, but he is ignoring me. I don't think no contact is working. It's been over a month now and I haven't heard back from him. I really love him and I hope that we can reconcile & he will forgive me. It's easier said then done to just be able to walk away and forget about someone you truly love and want to be with.
I feel educated after watching your videos.
But i feel that i must be given another chance with my ex.
But its not happening.
She is already been dating past past two months with the person she’s called me multiple times while she was with him, drunk and cried, saying how she missed me, but then when she is sober, she doesn’t feel the same way. I don’t know if I should keep waiting for her or really just let it go. She was my first relationship so it’s hard we used to be on and off a lot but she would always come back to me.
I love you, you always make me feel better. I know we can not be back together, but I do want him to want me back. He does come back but he doesn't want to give any answers after 10 years, leaving me for someone else. Your videos help me not go crazy bat shit, when I want to.
He wanted to have a conversation after the break up, to tell me "some other things not concerning the breakup". I told him i needed time and space before we could have that conversation. I told him he could ask me again to talk if he always wants to but after some time has passed. And then i went into no contact.
But now i'm thinking i've ruined every thing. He knows why i'm not reaching out so he won't ask himself about my silence.
Coming up on a month of no contact! It’s lit 😂😂😂❤❤❤ I felt so much better after the first week. I only use no contact to take my power back
I blocked him on everything and he reached out to me on Pinterest to tell me happy birthday. I said thank you and blocked him on that as well. You did what you did I’m not interested anymore
He told me that he'll not be available for a while after an argument. I respected his wishes and gave him space. I reached out to him after a week to know what was going on. He texted that it's over. I told him to tell that to me on face and he declined. He's been so mean. I'm in third month of breakup. I reached out to him thrice in 2 months. The last time I texted him was when he left my stuff with the guard. I sent him angry texts. Couldn't control my emotions. That was 2 weeks ago. All the times that I've reached out in last two months were angry texts. This is the 3rd month and I'm hurting more than ever. There is resentment and anger but I do miss that person. NC works. It worked for me with the same person. I don't think it's going to work for me this time around. He should have given in by now.
rirus, First of all, STOP pleading with him bcse it makes you look weak. Just from your comment, it sounds like he lost attraction for you. He could have met someone new, or just got tired of the relationship. Go NO Contact with him and don't contact him in any way. I hope it works out for you. ❤
Coach lee thank you it's been hard and you have no idea how much you have helped me and I can't imagine how many thousand you have helped you are an amazing person
My ex broke no contact and went back into relief BUT she offered me to go pick up our dog once in a while. She threw the whole loaf, not just crumbs.
What are the stages of no contact for cases in which your partner was hurt or you damaged their trust, and they felt they had to let you go? I think its a bit different than the typical "gradual loss of emotional attraction" because everything was good until that moment
mxlx95, in all honesty, every situation is different. Yours is no different than if the situation were reversed. Go NO Contact and see what happens in due time. Good luck to you.
How did you damage your partners trust?
Some of us were dating avoidants. Left no choice once you’ve been made to feel insignificant…. I dumped him but I’m the one severely heartbroken…
After two weeks of NC she texted me random message. Like coach Lee said I texted back random short answer.
Damn it hurts. I will not give up.
Did she respond?
My ex is tooo stubborn, I don't know if we can even fixed anything, cuz I tried my best to make her understand but it's useless and it's really frustrating, even if she comes back I'm not sure if I can even fixed anything with her, I doubt that , she's self centered stubborn human u can ever meet
4 months of separation of the ex husband of 18 years, I was in NC for 3 months but my NC is not that strict due to kids, he now started going out and drink! I can’t wait to see him sick! He’s underlying diseases!
I have been in no contact for 3 weeks. He reached out because our birthday is coming up. His birthday is the day before mine. He sent a text in the middle of the night to " remind me"... I guess as if I don't know when my birthday is? Which is crazy 🤣. When I didn't respond he waited a hour and called me. I didn't answer. I felt that it was too late at night. So the next day I replied with a thanks and that's it. Haven't returned his call. Staying in no contact. This happened last weekend. So far so good 😊
Смотрю все видео тренера Ли на постоянной основе. Я в NC с тех пор как муж в середине ссоры ударил меня и решил расстаться, пошло около 2 недель и он пишет моим братьям, спрашивая где я и чем занимаюсь. Хочу чтобы вы пожелали мне сил и удачи, что я смогла решиться подать на развод. Вы делаете огромную и полезную работу помогая людям восстановить свой mindset и свое разбитое сердце 🫠💕
I'm 3 weeks today on NC. tho we live together we limit everything and are civil. She wants to move out and we been together nearly 6 years, we were gonna get married next year, I'm keeping strong and not easy considering I miss her every day. Hope your all doing OK.
gamerplayz, I would recommend Coach Lee's mini course for you Six years is along time.
MyExBackCoach.com/hope-for-marriages-in-crisis
Hopefully this will help you both out.
Good job Coach Lee
I discovered that there is no true love here, but only an exchange of self interests……❤
Every relationship is contractual and conditional. Most people only settle for the best they can get at the moment.
@@sloanmagnum50090:28 For me, no contact means no contact. If I have the other person in my heart, I will contact him instead of waiting for him to contact me. True love gives people motivation and security instead of worrying about gains and losses all day long……❤
You are the Jesus to heal breakups man!! Love your insights.
Been in no contact for 13 month now. 2 Month after breakup she got together with her bestfriend, they are still together. Lost all hope but still miss her.
I broke up with my partner because he just did not take me as his priority, and treated me like a nobody. I just want to move on but I still have feelings for him.
He blocked me for 15 months, and then 5 weeks ago he unblocked me, I thought we'd both moved on, I'm staying no contact, he done thus, it's up to gim to fix it , if it means anything, even just friends. He hasnt reached out yet.
So both of us have no social media, does that change the dynamic?
I have been doing so well in no contact until today. He has reached out to me a few times (impersonal messages) to which I responded politely, no more. Last night the area my ex lives in was hit with severe storms, several friends in that area reporting trees down, damaged roofs and flooding, etc. He lives alone in the middle of 3 acres of woods all around and no near neighbors. I know how he thinks and it would seem cold to not check on him, we both always text our friends to check on them. So I sent him (and several friends) a text "Checking to see if you and (dog) are ok after those storms in your area? Stay safe." How badly have I damaged "no contact"? Did I do the wrong thing?
You did great!! Hang in there
He broke up 6 weeks ago after 3 years together and shopping for engagement rings. Said he just wants peace and no relationship, he says no hard feelings between us. I was cool and dignified, gave him the break up. He will send me a text about every 8-10 days no message just discount coupons or such. Texted me Merry Christmas. He will like some of my posts and I have liked some of his posts in our social group FB page. When he broke up he said we can still be friends and go to events together, camping and kayaking, I didn't respond. Coach Lee what is your opinion about doing things w them as a friend? I don't want the friend zone!! Some coaches say tell them we have always been friends but I can't be Just friends. In 7 weeks is a big hockey game we always attended and he pre-purchased tickets for us and 4 friends to attend together. IF he invites me to go do I say yes??
It’s been 3 and half months. There’s been a period of no contact that he continues to break and breadcrumb. With weird comments and questions. “Check out this car” and “what kind of green teas should I be taking for male pattern baldness….” Wtf. You broke my heart, tore me up and you want my help? You want me to be your online resource for your health? No. Not ok. So I am keeping some space and not answering as a girlfriend anymore. Just as a stranger. Obviously if he won’t even meet with me in person to talk I shouldn’t be putting in any effort. It hurts still and I cry all the time. I have lost trust in people at this point. But trying to heal. The insane part is I want him back but not if I have to go through this again.
He feels like you’re still there and that’s enough for him.
@@LaReineDiana2024 but he seems to think he has infinite time and I’ll just wait around indefinitely. Which is not a healthy relationship. I’ve done that before. Not wanting to be alone and someone’s help desk when they’re lonely. Relationships are reciprocal and it takes both parties putting in effort. At this point I’m not writing him and he’s not texting so he can figure himself out and if he wants to communicate he knows where I am. I may not be available but…
You should Not be speaking to him! You’re not following Coach Lee’s instructions!
Just stop talking
He breadcrumbed me big time using my discount card at a store because he is the only one that has the code, I know he wanted me to call...and make life easy for him.
Mine reached out a week after ending things. She wanted to wish me a happy birthday. Confusing right? Fast forward over a year.
Get a message from her about the loss of her good friend. Confused? I’m confused. I was enjoying the company of a new woman. My response to my ex took a few hours. Since I had met this friend a few times. I told her to pass my condolences to her friend’s husband and family.
And I’m in no contact again.
It sounds like you did well.
@@RealCoachLee I’m way better than when I found your channel a couple years back.
It is possible to get them back. But careful what you wish for...
We were together 8 years then broke up and stayed apart for 3. We kept in touch during the breakup and stayed civil, but never spoke about our personal lives. We never figured we would get back together, so what she did was her business and I didn't want to know about it. Then after 3 years, finally she messaged about actually seeing me and we started up again. Everything seemed different in a good way. She was more open and relaxed, it felt like we moved on from so many of our past problems. Then about a year in, the old "her" started creeping back in. Hiding her phone, being cryptic and secretive about who she was spending time with. Outright lying. Lots of excuses for not wanting to spend time with me. Another 6 months go by, and she dumps me again thru a Facebook message. She could never do the hard stuff face to face. And she is with someone new already. I doubt she will ever come back a 3rd time, but if she does I have to be ready to say absolutely not. I love her but don't want to go thru losing her ever again. This is awful
Narcissism, move on 🤮🤢
you're all I ever wanted, you're all I ever needed, so tell me what to do now, when I want, you, back 😃
bmwdiy, I need to know who dumped who, and what happened?
What if my ex is asking to go out during no contact period? I know what to do if he texts or calls, but should I go out with him if he wants? He hugs me often and wants intimacy, saying how good I am and beautiful, buying me things. But he doesn't want relationships. Should I reject him? I am so confused. We were together for 8 years.
8 years dating him and now he's downgrading you into a FWB? So selfish and disrespectful of him. He's stopping you from going no contact and moving on to a man who wants the same things as you. Call his bluff and go no contact again.
No contact means no contact with him until he offers commitment!!
It’s been 3 years since, after a 13 year relationship. I did go into no contact. But all of a sudden there are photos of us he shared in my phone’s album I never saw before. He didn’t text me but shared it? Strange….
Be focused
Amazing stuff
Im so confused. Broke up with my ldr girlfriend 3 months ago. Wanted no contact for a while but she wanted to be friends. Sometimes she tells me she has nearly ask me back a few times. Others she disappears for 4 days. I didnt contact her for 4 days and she text at 3am saying we should delete our communication app. Then i replied and she has disappeared
I've been with my ex a year and 3 months and I'll tell you she put me through hell I'm back. And I went back I was gluten four punishment.
I went no contact its been a year and no contact from either of us,it gets easier as the months pass i think she wont return
jaymatthew, After 9 months, I believe your chances are slim. I'm sorry to say, but I believe you should move on. Take care of yourself.❤
She always watches all my stories & even likes some posts. I never like or watch any of her posts. But she won’t reach out. I reached out & she responds but getting her to go with me again has been hit & miss. She initially broke up with me bc she felt I didn’t care & never tried. I certainly took her for granted :/
Looking forward to the next video in this series.
You the best, and right and do help me and others thank you
So I was trying to repair the relationship in no contact stage, but after couple of months I lost interest in her, and even if she come back I don't want relationship , also I need to know if the person who betrayed once can they be forgiven or leave them what is your opinion
jameschen7553. I'm happy no contact worked for you. It makes you think about what you really want.
The other situation is up to you, depending on what they did. My personal opinion on CHEATING is I would never take a CHEATER back. They can do it again. James, everyone is different. Follow your GUT feeling. Your heart. I wish you the best of luck. We are ALWAYS here for you.❤
ex broke up cuz he wanted to study but he would always stare secretly...a day before I had an emotional outburst and confronted him to clear things out at first he said that he was planning on trying to rekindle the relationship after a few years but now since I had confronted him while he was trying to ignore the pressure he says that even if he feels anything for me he won't try to rekindle our relationship also due to my emotional outburst I said a lot of bad things to him like you won't even care if I die and all. He talked to one friend of mine who is going through the same thing expressing to her he wanted a break and that he is angry that i talked about death...also he is not good at expressing himself and communicating.... yesterday he came near my bus to talk to his teacher who was sitting in front but he knew it was my bus and that i seat at the back ....he started walking to where i seat we didn't say anything but had eye contact until he moved past the window... when he saw me sitting with a boy in my bus he kept on staring.... and when a girl from my class asked about our break up he told it was due to his stupidity and gave a sad smile then told he can't give time.... He always looks at me when I am laughing loudly...makes annoying comments to talk to me but can't talk normally although i am ignoring him....idk what will happen....
Coach lee i did not leave your videos you did not say any wrong thing.
I've been with no contact with my ex for about 2 weeks after we broke up but I was still checking her socmed accounts. But after one time I found out that there was this guys trying to make a move on her doing the things that I did when we where together. I know for sure she doesn't have feelings about that guy and we've talked about it but somethings got escalated after that we talk for a while and it ends up me showing up that I really wanted her alot I got anxiety and ended up hurting my self and she's like duhh and blocked me. Rightnow it's just been a couple of days for having no contact again hopefully I'll get over this but something's on my mind that's been bothering what if and I really wanted to get rid of those. I just want to forget her basically
Going through a breakup now, 20 years together 10 married and he walked out and left 5 months ago.
He said no final decision on what next until end of January. We’re still in contact but he doesn’t live with me anymore. He is having more contact but very hot and cold.
He is adamant is over and just giving it time from respect of 21 years together!
Someone help! What do I do? Do I cut him off? Or keep trying
Louise-cz6y5, I am so sorry to hear about your marriage. There is a chance! There's always a chance. Coach Lee has a free mini course that will definitely help.MyExBackCoach.com/hope-for-marriages-in-crisis
As I said, this course is FREE, and please, look into it. Remember, there is ALWAYS a chance. ❤❤
5months into the break up and been in no contact for 4 months. but no difference and probably in a worse stage now even. No contact might work for some, or even most, but i guess not for me. I dont even have any option to reach out either. So this is going to go on.
I can testify, at least for myself, that if they reach out, for whatever reason, not necessarily to come back, it gets much easier to move on with your life.
And the "every relationship is different" mantra is the truest of all. I've dumped and been dumped before and the pain has been completely different each time. From being completely over in weeks to not completely moving on in years (this time, unfortunately).
@@r.maelstrom4810 not looking to move on either. honestly, dont care for all that. and self destruction is easier than moving on. so i would choose the easier way through.
That’s what I think. He did this to try out other people. So let him. Cause if he’s taking this time to heal himself and grow that’s one thing but to be sleeping around I can’t accept. I will never take him back if he comes back and admits he slept with other people.
So i was blocked by my ex and she said its enough i dont want to be with you anymore a month passes and she unblocks me, after one week she follows me, now just waiting what will happen
My ex wife, who left me in August, changed her relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship" with her best friend (who is happily married to her husband). I know it's a joke, but is this breadcrumbing me to reach out?
davidmartin4041, David, I wouldn't count that out about her best friend. A lot of people are "coming out" and maybe your wife did also. If it's a joke, you will find out soon enough. Good luck to you ❤
@@jannlewandowski5540 guaranteed she didn't come out. I know her very well
davidmartin, David, I'm glad you know her that well. OK, say it is a joke, I don't know what she's trying to do regarding bread crumbs, but stay NO Contact with her. Give her (and yourself) TIME..GOOD LUCK, DAVE.
Been in no contact for almost a year and he friended me on fb on Monday 😂
Hi and thanks a lot Coach Lee! You help a lot. I wish I saw it before cause the first week I tried like 2 to get her back even wrote a letter! Now im in no contact for 13 days tho after a okayish talk on instagram about her cat. Anyway, what I wanna know is if I should post Instagram stories with other girls or one girl. Will jealousy make it better or worse? And the question is, how can I know that she does not think/know i only do it to get her back or make her jealous? There is many coaches and websites saying different things. Some say post stories with girls it helps a lot other say its the worst thing you can do.
Coach Lee says in some of his other videos that that isn’t really the best thing to do because you don’t know how your ex will react. You don’t know if they’ll be like oh he moved on already so easily I’m just not even going to try anymore and then they move on completely
If you post things on insta that are out of the norm your ex will know it’s only to make them jealous.
The reason that people respond so vastly differently to pictures of their ex with members of the opposite sex is why I say not to do that until you are truly ready to move on.
today was the 1st my ex messaged me in almost 6 weeks. didn't say much. Just said she had my stuff if I ever wanted to meet to get it. and she said sorry. said she heard some songs and thought about me. she gave me a couple updates about her life. I didn't say much just let her talk.
shes still not coming back
I didn't say anything about what I was up to in my life
I don’t have social media. So they can’t check on me. So….cool…… He’ll never know
After the break-up I've asked him to block me on social media, so that it's easier for me. He's not able to see anything about me. He won't unblock me as I requested it. He's in a rebound relationship now. Earlier I chased him, begged etc.. but I suddenly stopped and went no contact.
How will curiosity or anything else work in this case?
We had a 5 years relationship with very strong bond, but distance and lot of external circumstances caused a lot of stress, and he got "emotionally tired", although we still love each other (he said that).
i reached out after two months of NC to say sorry for the ugly breakup, now im in month 4 better than ever, but now i wonder if it was the right move to apolagise, maybe she would have reached out by now if i didnt break NC, but at the same time after i had said sorry she told me she had no hard feelings and i started to feel alot better.
I am on my no contact way. My ex reaches me A LOT, every single day
Asking go out
Maybe I should directly tell him that I want a brake?
mariia7044, YES, take a break, and go NO Contact. Also, get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit which will help you immensely.
myexbackcoach.com/ebk/
Discount Code:
2A53FC
This Kit will really help you.
I was the dumper, there wss no ego, did not feel more attractive, because I left because of a third party and cheating
You did right!!
No contact always works, my ex reach out to me after 6months , but I have new lover😊
And you are still here
@@fives2710 ya I have subscribed