AITA for telling MIL she was dead to me (r/AITAH)

Join me as I delve into the tense moment when my mother-in-law unexpectedly arrived at the labor and delivery room without my own mother, prompting an emotional response from me. Was telling her she was 'dead to me' justified? Let's explore this family dilemma.
Source:
/ aita_for_telling_mil_s...
Channel:
/ @lifeandeverythinginbetwn

[@user-nq1uo6ju4o]

NTA. Mil knew how important having op's mother and kids there was to op. And the ones saying op was overreacting clearly did not get the point. It was NOT ABOUT MIL. It was about keeping op in the best possible state to give birth, especially after the trauma of their second child. People who have not been thru something have zero right to judge how the person going thru it should feel. Mil fooled around and got kicked out of the whole thing. 😮

[@lifeandeverythinginbetwn]

I agree the MIL's whole attitude about the situation honestly pissed me off

[@mannydcbianco]

It is a big deal, regardless of what people are telling OP. It's a big deal because MIL did it on purpose, she deliberately tried to keep OP's mother, grandma and kids away because MIL had to be the main character in the movie, the only one who mattered. Disgusting narcissist.

[@lifeandeverythinginbetwn]

Yup, MIL did it on purpose even know she knew how important it was for OP. A dick move

[@leejones982]

You are right, your MIL is not to be forgiven for going back on what was previously agreed and her comments in the delivery room just reinforce that .Her attitude and what i fear will continue to be her future behaviour are to be avoided.

[@okhoward1942]

Who is telling OP it’s not a big deal?? Really hope it’s not her husband

[@jaegrant6441]

If it's an ongoing thing, maybe.
But if this is a once moment, chicka needs to take a chill pill and let the hormones settle down.
Ultimately, no one gets a perfect anything. We need to be grateful for what we do get.
Our negative emotions stem from unmet expectations.
Why couldn't her mum take a taxi?
Also, rude of OP to expect an elderly lady to care for two children in a hospital waiting room when those kids would normally be asleep just because she wants them to meet the baby straight away instead of first thing in the morning.
What if she was in labour all night? What, her kids and their great grandma would sleep in waiting room chairs?
OP seems to have a touch of main character syndrome.
MIL should have spoken up about the plan if labour started at night. This way seems like she never planned to go ahead with it.
I also think OP needs to get over it, be grateful for what she did get, and focus on creating more and better memories.
They all begin to blur together at some point anyway. At some point this singular event won't matter. But a lifetime of bitterness and division, that stems from it, will.

[@lifeandeverythinginbetwn]

well said, I honestly didn't like MIL whole attitude to be frank, like you said it felt like she never planned on going through with the plan to begin with

[@pleasantserenity9648]

Weird take. You literally only give birth once per child. It's indeed a big deal. MIL was being childish and selfish and that ultimately led to her getting kicked out the room and was not able to be at the birth, and if she would have followed the plan she could have been in that room. Just because your grandma never wanted to watch you doesn't mean it's "rude" for her to watch her own grandchildren ps... SHE AGREED TO IT so obviously she didn't mind. You are completely delusional on how childbirth happens ITS NORMAL FOR PEOPLE TO HAVE FAMILY WATCH OVER THIER KIDS WHILE IN LABOUR. All a lady wanted to do was have family watch over her kids while she gives birth suddenly, she has "main character syndrome". I hope no pregnant woman ever needs your help while giving birth, you'll just tell them "dO It YoURsElf YoU ArE NoT tHe mAiN CharAcTer". You're so out of touch it's scary..

[@Erinski]

@@lifeandeverythinginbetwn I don't think that's what they said at all XD

[@lifeandeverythinginbetwn]

@@Erinski no no xD I get what their saying, I'm just saying even if the girl might have been hormonal and should let it go, the whole attitude MIL had makes me think yea she wasn't going to go through this since the beginning and I am biased against her for that

[@colombeleland4684]

I think you are an asshole for writing such a condescending reply. She's giving birth after a seriously traumatic 2nd child birth. She was clear about what she needed. Plans were made and everyone - ml included - agreed w this plan. Suddenly ml hijacks a traumatic, painful, emotional event - without even giving any handholding or comfort. I don't see any place in this scenario where op needs to "take a chill pill."