They're mad because they are no longer the alpha. You put them in their place and got the support from the real Italian, the grandfather, that is the family alpha. Hold your own and be an alpha.
Not the AH. However, I wouldn't stick around that family. The gf may be fine, but the men in the family won't forgive and will probably get nasty. However, it might be fun to meet the grandfather to play bocce and speak Italian from time to time.
"we are Italian" as if the stereotype of Italians being loud and not respectful of everybody else's right to quiet and peace was always true. Guess what, I'm Italian born and raised and it's just a stereotype that applies to SOME Italian people, just like it happens to be true in every nationality.
Yep. My uncle married a 1st generation Italian American. Her parents were very nice people, but my aunt is a stereotypical Italian-American - talking all sorts of shit and then saying "that's just how it is" or best case, some lame ass apology. Sorry, our family is more "don't say things you can't take back" which is why she is no longer welcome. One of our other family expressions -- "See you at your funeral."
@@C_majuscula (Mentally translating the expression) (Translated successfully) (Saving the expression in my my mental folder "Slay expressions I need to remember to tell people in the right moment and not the day after when I rethink about the whole conversation") (Expression successfully saved)
Wife worked in a hospital and ate lunch in the staff lounge where three nurses from the Phillippines would sit at another table usually talking in their native language. Since they would glance over at her she felt uneasy. One day only one of the nurses was at lunch and my wife and a friend of hers started speaking Polish and glancing over at the other nurse. She finished eating quickly and packed up and left the lounge Since she couldn`t understand them she wanted out. Very fitting karma was served to her
Let's be honest: If they went to Italy and said they were Italian, they'd get laughed at. Especially after behaving like that. Talk about fragile masculinity.
The Men in this Family on an emotional level are little kids. They have fun dishing it out but when they can't take it they revert to whining about how "Unfair" you treated them? They are Children. If you can't take it,.....then don't dish it out.
They talked the talk... Oh wait, no, they couldn't even do that much. Much less walk the walk. The grandfather was the only real Italian in the family and loved OP for standing up to the family and shaming them for their hypocrisy. My guess is, they never took the time to actually learn about the Italian culture they claim to have inherited and loved and grandfather was also sick of them using it as an excuse to bully others. He'd given up on getting them to change so when OP came along and shamed them by using ACTUAL Italian culture to put them in their place, he loved it. OP is definitely NTA.
It always seemed weird to me that Americans are so aggressively proud of being American but immediately pretend to be literally anything except American as soon as they get the chance.
Bro, you got grandpa backing you? Way to flex on them all. Nope, you are in the right. They are insecure. It might impact your ability to peacefully interact down the road though.
Some Italians who have visited New York say that those who emigrated decades ago, and their descendants, may only speak one of the many regional languages of Italy, and not the standard Italian taught in schools. So someone who has learned Italian at school might not be able to communicate very well with them.
I’d ditch the girlfriend, because you’ll never separate her from the family. You deserve more respect than they showed you, and you probably won’t get it.
As someone of Italian heritage I think they are the A holes, it is good you have the grandfather behind you. I’m curious is his wife still alive? As if she is then see how quickly she has those guys in hand, my Nonna was a small lady (with 3 grown sons) but it was clear who was in charge when she spoke.
NTA, don’t dish it out if you can’t take it. Families like this are awful, making their culture their whole personality without actually knowing anything about the actual culture. The grandfather seems cool though.
Not the AH. They got macho with you and you out "alpha'd" them. You win. They need to stop whining about it. Note that they stopped making fun of you working in IT when you told them how much money you made. You out alpha'd them there too. Show up to the house with a bottle of alcohol and drink with them. I'd suggest Sambucca, given that they're Italian, but the younger ones might not care for it. The grandfather will love it though. Find out on the d/l what they all drink first and get that. You'll all be best friends by the end of the bottle. Also someone suggested bocci with the grandfather. Play with the whole family, but if you happen to be really good at the game, play well, but let them win. They'll make fun of you a little for losing, but just take it. You need to give them a win. That'll smooth everything over and you'll be best friends with them all after that.
No contest ,your right and they are so wrong .If you see some mileage with your girlfriend get the granpa onside,take him to dinner at an Italian restaurant and let him sort out his brood .
NTA but an unfortunate first meeting. It probably would have been a better smack in the face to speak to the grandfather in only Italian out of respect. Then the two of you could have had a laugh or two at their expense 😉
Ooo. Sounds like you damaged their fragile masculinity. It was a good thing though - you drew a line in the sand, and the whole bunch, save the grandfather, tripped over it.
You’re the AH. It was one thing to speak Italian (funny), but another to speak disrespectfully. It embarrassed your girlfriend and irritated her brothers. They were giving you a hard time as a form of initiation and you returned it by acting superior. For your girlfriend’s sake, let her go. She needs someone who will be comfortable with her family.
Served them right. They were rude to a guest, arrogant, judgemental and stupid. Now, they're mad cuz you embarrassed them. Tough.
Agreed
They're mad because they are no longer the alpha. You put them in their place and got the support from the real Italian, the grandfather, that is the family alpha. Hold your own and be an alpha.
You did right. Run from that bullying family and from your gf, too, because your life could be not easy. They are her family. Period.
Reminds me of all the "Irish" and "Italians" I knew in Boston. Shut up. You're AMERICAN!
Masculinity is not about putting others down, rather encouraging other men to be stronger. The same BS happens here in latin america.
Not the AH. However, I wouldn't stick around that family. The gf may be fine, but the men in the family won't forgive and will probably get nasty.
However, it might be fun to meet the grandfather to play bocce and speak Italian from time to time.
Keep the grandfather. Ditch the rest. Your girlfriend is nice, but you don't want to marry into this family.
"we are Italian" as if the stereotype of Italians being loud and not respectful of everybody else's right to quiet and peace was always true. Guess what, I'm Italian born and raised and it's just a stereotype that applies to SOME Italian people, just like it happens to be true in every nationality.
Yep. My uncle married a 1st generation Italian American. Her parents were very nice people, but my aunt is a stereotypical Italian-American - talking all sorts of shit and then saying "that's just how it is" or best case, some lame ass apology. Sorry, our family is more "don't say things you can't take back" which is why she is no longer welcome. One of our other family expressions -- "See you at your funeral."
@@C_majuscula
(Mentally translating the expression)
(Translated successfully)
(Saving the expression in my my mental folder "Slay expressions I need to remember to tell people in the right moment and not the day after when I rethink about the whole conversation")
(Expression successfully saved)
Wife worked in a hospital and ate lunch in the staff lounge where three nurses from the Phillippines would sit at another table usually talking in their native language. Since they would glance over at her she felt uneasy.
One day only one of the nurses was at lunch and my wife and a friend of hers started speaking Polish and glancing over at the other nurse. She finished eating quickly and packed up and left the lounge
Since she couldn`t understand them she wanted out. Very fitting karma was served to her
Let's be honest: If they went to Italy and said they were Italian, they'd get laughed at. Especially after behaving like that. Talk about fragile masculinity.
The Men in this Family on an emotional level are little kids. They have fun dishing it out but when they can't take it they revert to whining about how "Unfair" you treated them? They are Children. If you can't take it,.....then don't dish it out.
They talked the talk... Oh wait, no, they couldn't even do that much. Much less walk the walk. The grandfather was the only real Italian in the family and loved OP for standing up to the family and shaming them for their hypocrisy. My guess is, they never took the time to actually learn about the Italian culture they claim to have inherited and loved and grandfather was also sick of them using it as an excuse to bully others. He'd given up on getting them to change so when OP came along and shamed them by using ACTUAL Italian culture to put them in their place, he loved it.
OP is definitely NTA.
So they were picking on a guy who played what's basically rugby... with sticks?
Well, there you go.
It always seemed weird to me that Americans are so aggressively proud of being American but immediately pretend to be literally anything except American as soon as they get the chance.
This comes under the southern tradition of if you don’t start nothing there won’t be nothing.
They disrespected him first. Seems like they ought to own up to that, apologize, and start over with a bit more friendly attitude.
Bro, you got grandpa backing you? Way to flex on them all.
Nope, you are in the right. They are insecure. It might impact your ability to peacefully interact down the road though.
When it comes to trouble, the family needs to know ……don’t start none, won’t be none.
Some Italians who have visited New York say that those who emigrated decades ago, and their descendants, may only speak one of the many regional languages of Italy, and not the standard Italian taught in schools. So someone who has learned Italian at school might not be able to communicate very well with them.
Well, don’t talk trash about somebody’s car if you don’t know how to drive.
Nope, no, RUN, RUN, RUN, as far and fast as possible. These are rude, obnoxious people who could be dangerous. Run, Forrest, run.🏃♂️🏃♂️🏃♂️🏃♂️🏃♂️
I’d ditch the girlfriend, because you’ll never separate her from the family. You deserve more respect than they showed you, and you probably won’t get it.
As someone of Italian heritage I think they are the A holes, it is good you have the grandfather behind you. I’m curious is his wife still alive? As if she is then see how quickly she has those guys in hand, my Nonna was a small lady (with 3 grown sons) but it was clear who was in charge when she spoke.
NTA, don’t dish it out if you can’t take it. Families like this are awful, making their culture their whole personality without actually knowing anything about the actual culture. The grandfather seems cool though.
What's the thinnest book in the world? The Italian book of war heroes. They aren't seen as masculine in Europe at all.
Not the AH. They got macho with you and you out "alpha'd" them. You win. They need to stop whining about it. Note that they stopped making fun of you working in IT when you told them how much money you made. You out alpha'd them there too. Show up to the house with a bottle of alcohol and drink with them. I'd suggest Sambucca, given that they're Italian, but the younger ones might not care for it. The grandfather will love it though. Find out on the d/l what they all drink first and get that. You'll all be best friends by the end of the bottle. Also someone suggested bocci with the grandfather. Play with the whole family, but if you happen to be really good at the game, play well, but let them win. They'll make fun of you a little for losing, but just take it. You need to give them a win. That'll smooth everything over and you'll be best friends with them all after that.
No contest ,your right and they are so wrong .If you see some mileage with your girlfriend get the granpa onside,take him to dinner at an Italian restaurant and let him sort out his brood .
there is no such word as anyways - it's anyway no "s"
NTA but an unfortunate first meeting. It probably would have been a better smack in the face to speak to the grandfather in only Italian out of respect. Then the two of you could have had a laugh or two at their expense 😉
Ooo. Sounds like you damaged their fragile masculinity. It was a good thing though - you drew a line in the sand, and the whole bunch, save the grandfather, tripped over it.
You need a better AI reader. Better yet, get a real human to read it
You’re the AH. It was one thing to speak Italian (funny), but another to speak disrespectfully. It embarrassed your girlfriend and irritated her brothers. They were giving you a hard time as a form of initiation and you returned it by acting superior. For your girlfriend’s sake, let her go. She needs someone who will be comfortable with her family.