So I Married An Autogynephile... | A Detrans Story, with Jules Louise
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- Опубліковано 12 тра 2024
- Jules Louise opens up about her trans and detrans journey, and finding love with a self-professed autogynephile (@RayAlexWilliams).
Detrans Stories: bit.ly/DeTransStories
Find her on twitter: / julesgeezlouise
Calmvo with Ray: • Trans Narcissism: A De...
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There is nothing wrong with being a wife and mother. Our society is collapsing from within because the family is no longer valued. I am a high school teacher, and I see what is happening to the family on a daily basis. Social media is raising so many of our children, and this is destructive. We our paying a price.
Amen
Women aren't trapped in abusive relationships anymore. That can only be good. HOWEVER you are correct in that the family is suffering as a result. But what can we do. Men have to change their behaviour.
Women are trapped in an abusive relationship with their real partner, the State.
@@medwayhospitalprotestAs women we have to make changes as well. It’s not all on men. We can be toxic AF just like men.
Being a really good wife and especially mother, is, in my view, the most admirable 'vocation' . I'm always far more in awe of a really well organised mum than I am of anyone else.
They were polyamorous…of course
The way🙄 my eyes rolled when I read this.
She actually thinks she escaped the woke mindset.
@@goodlookinouthomie1757 You can have an unconventional relationship and still be against wokeness…my eyes rolling at these autistic comments lmao
@@goodlookinouthomie1757yeah, that really caught me off guard that she thinks she’s escaped wokeness and the brainwashing. In reality, this lady is still totally lost in the sauce and brainwashed. She speaks the language this entire interview, still showing she believes in a bunch of the BS.
@@twinkletoes6290 The vocal fry is a dead giveaway.
She seems to have spent most of her young life learning about gender that she never learned about history. The academic world definitely succeeded in that.
My heart just hurts listening to this young woman. The over analysis of everything is literally unnecessary. Humans come in every size and shape and variety. We are attracted to people because we are . Souldmates are real. The weaponizaton of her compassion to manipulate her to self analyze every aspect of her sexuality seriously just exhausts me. Why is this so prevalent?
This much navel gazing is truly unhealthy. The empathetic pressure argument is truly fascinating - and I have seen it first hand - “empathy trapping”- how it spreads … so absolutely true and why this ideology must be exposed.
You will never know yourself because you’ll always be changing - you try and serve others and look outside yourself - we are here to love and serve one another - not ourselves and our identity - good begets good. How do we move society forward… actually back to the 80’s where every expression of who you are is perfectly fine…?
I disagree, on a single point 'we are here, to serve others' and not, self.
In any healthy, relationship it begins with some kind, of healthy relationship with self and I'd wager, it's the same with unhealthy relationships.
If you can have the energy, to focus on others (how much of that, is really required?) then why, overlook the self. There's healthy/unhealthy ways, to do either.
Also, no time was ever really 'ideal'- not even the 80's lol there's just pockets, of the ideal as 'happy accidents', or incidents.
If you had that- I'm happy for you
Great points! Thank you. I think self expression was just allowed and not yet labeled in the 80’s- I’m pining…😂
It's just leftist neuroticism. They are without good male rolemodels/fathers.
If you leave a cult, are you more likely to join another cult
studies show actually yes - look into rick allen ross’s cult deprogramming research ❤️
@@YuliShowMeLove thanks for the referral
It's like how someone who has been in an abusive relationship is more likely to be in another abusive relationship-- unless they do some serious healing.
The Trans movement is planted in the mind of very young children, then built on throughout childhood. Supported everywhere by everyone. Not surprisingly these victims will not realise the cause is not just within them, but also coming from everywhere around them. The people that should be keeping them safe (eg parents, teachers, Doctors) are letting them down.
Women should be able to put Household Manager on their resume, and have that be recognized as an understood set of skills including time management, financial management, and conflict resolution.
Men too
@@michelebence4308 Good point. 'Stay at home dad' shouldn't be a slur.
Agreed! And, women ARE able to put 'extensive time management', 'financial management' and 'conflict resolution' experience on their resume, and MEAN IT. They don't need society's blessing or approval or permission. Just DO it, because it's TRUE right now, not at some time in the future.
Here are some other ways to describe at-home skills professionally:
Time Management
Expert in prioritizing tasks and managing schedules to optimize productivity.
Skilled in strategic planning and deadline management.
Proficient in allocating time effectively across competing demands.
Multitasking
Experienced in simultaneously managing multiple projects with focus and efficiency.
Capable of handling diverse tasks effectively under pressure.
Adept at coordinating various operational tasks to maintain smooth workflows.
Patience and Flexibility
Demonstrates high tolerance and adaptability in dynamic environments.
Skilled in adapting strategies and approaches in response to changing conditions.
Maintains composure and purposeful focus amidst challenges and disruptions.
Communication and Interpersonal Skills
Strong communicator, adept in negotiating and persuading effectively across different levels.
Excellent interpersonal skills, able to foster relationships and collaborate with team members.
Proficient in articulating complex information clearly and concisely to diverse audiences.
Financial Management
Proficient in budgeting and financial planning with a focus on cost-efficiency.
Skilled in managing financial resources to maximize return on investment.
Experienced in financial forecasting and expense tracking.
Problem Solving
Strong analytical thinker with a proven track record in identifying problems and implementing innovative solutions.
Skilled in crisis management and conflict resolution.
Expert in employing creativity and logic to overcome complex challenges.
Nutritional Knowledge
Knowledgeable in health and wellness, with skills in designing nutrition plans that optimize well-being.
Experienced in managing dietary needs and creating balanced meal plans.
Proficient in promoting healthy lifestyle choices within organizational settings.
Educational and Developmental Support
Experienced in instructional design and educational program development.
Skilled in mentorship and development, with a focus on fostering learning and growth.
Proficient in deploying educational tools and resources to enhance team competencies.
Physical Stamina
Demonstrates endurance and energy in meeting physically demanding tasks.
Skilled in maintaining high performance over prolonged periods.
Capable of managing labor-intensive projects with vigor and persistence.
Emotional Intelligence
High emotional intelligence, skilled in managing interpersonal dynamics and building team cohesion.
Proficient in empathetic leadership, understanding team members’ motivations and needs.
Effective in stress management and promoting a positive work environment.
@@ZandarKoad Yes. If you know you have skills write them down. The proof will be in your actions.
No matter how often I hear things like this, I keep shaking my head. Yup - Gen X here.
We had the Eurovision Song Contest here iin Germany last weekend and two performers were announced as "non-binary". Absolutely cringe-worthy. Imagine a performer being announced as "This is Tom Smith, and he considers himself to be homosexual."
The irony is both are essentially heterosexuals; they both have opposite sex partners. Nothing 'queer' about either of them
That's what always has me perplexed. I'm seeing that more and more. "Hi I'm Jane- I'm nonbinary", etc. When did that become a part of our most basic introductions?
I don't understand why she's so fixated on calling herself a lesbian when she's married to a man.
I know. I had a friend like that once. I think it got her "cool points," so she did it.
I know! She explains how she is only Lez and she’s married to a man. Then she explains totally normal stuff as autistic.
Probably because she unconsciously wants to be a lesbian, and she believes(unconsciously) that if she calls herself a lesbian, she will become a lesbian. Same with the autism label. And you know what? It actually works for people like this. I’m not conflating sexuality with mental illness here, but the entire psychiatric system is dependent upon the human ability to become what we believe we are. If I have a psychotic episode that may have been a once in a lifetime occurrence, my odds of experiencing subsequent episodes increase dramatically once I am diagnosed with schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. Why does she unconsciously want to be a lesbian? Well, look who she’s married to. Why doesn’t she leave her husband and go be with a woman? Codependency, of course, but also, she probably isn’t actually attracted to women. She just wishes she was.
That was odd to me as well. She says that she is not fluid in her sexuality at all. That she's only attracted to women. But then says she loves her husband and has dated men in the past; rationalizing romantic relationships and sexual relationships as different/separate things when they are not.
@@frogluck yeah, it's strange. The push to make "romantic orientation" a thing separate from sexual orientation is so strange to me.
Being normal, being boring, being average, why is that so painful to people? Billions of people on the planet. Seem media as a whole gives people the idea they need to live like view are a show or movie. Life is mostly dull and nice.
So agree with you 🙏😌☺️😊
“Nice” being the key word.
Like “comfort” in the plain food. Contemplating the sunrise or sunset or the stars or the birds or the waves…..
Are those “dull”??
Finding good friends and being comfortable with them - is that “dull” if they are normal happy people, yourself included?
I find, the disturbing theme in the youngsters that they seek euphoria….
The guest reminds me of a middle-high school classmate girl who was a math “genius”. That girl was manly despite her long blond braid: her voice was low, she walked like a guy, had a venomous sense of humor and more of blond facial hair than any other girls. She was awkward. And we all wrote this off to her math brains - how could one continue being “normal” and do math that well.
Decades later, I realize now that the girl had to be on the Asperger spectrum.
Yet with all her “manliness” ( “are you trans?”) she never tried to hang out with boys, she stuck with girls and she tried to be liked in the girls arena while refusing to try-on make-up or cut her hair to soften-up the look or start wearing heels… she was extremely practical and logical. And… she despised boys unless they could do math better than her.
Jules is so much more well rounded and feminine "despite" math and lower voice 🙏🌿🌺
it is so sick that doubts about the foundations of one's being can be so shaken by proparanda
it is scary
41:30
100% agree with women being at extreme disadvantage when contributing to the social reproduction. Their salaries do not continue if they had to interrupt work, nor their 401(k) continued to grow. And yes, they are fully dependent on the “breadwinner”.
The leftists need to go live under Communists party rule.
All these convos after ONLY reading books are worth very little.
One needs to look at the USSR and China and Cuba and all the African countries that were sponsored by the soviets.
It doesn't work that way. People are either in the middle of the bell curve, or they are not.
They do not one day decide being "normal is boring" and start doing "abnormal" things.
People just do things, and they do not know why, then the world shuns those "abnormal" things and that person feels outcast, and begins to resent the "normal" for rejecting them, because of an inability to be "dull" like you.
We will never be the same, normie, never. It's NOT a decision. It just is that way.
Oh dear....the world has become too complicated for me.
You nailed it with just a few words.
Are we looking at an overwhelming social fad ??
Every era in time has fads that society experiences.
For the most part, yes.
In my opinion. I’m 68. I hope I live long enough to see my opinion vindicated.
If the term gender hadn't been co-opted into sexual politics these kids would have found something else to get anxious about.
Thankfully in my day it was barbiturates and 'platform shoes'!
If only it were a fad that was less damaging to the body.
No. Collective insanity.
As an autistic lesbian who was also in a relationship with a trans woman for several years until I basically had a mental breakdown, I related to a lot of what Jules said, and I can completely understand the feeling of being in a platonic relationship that serves some kind of emotional support purpose, even if it doesn't serve a romantic or sexual one. (And the whole feeling a pressure to be pansexual and accepting of everyone into your dating pool) Not sure if there's any way in getting in touch with Jules past following her on twitter but I hope she knows she's not alone in this weirdness!
I wish there was a way to reach out to her other than twitter- I’m autistic too but was luckily born in 1979 so I’m 80s woke which meant we could bend gender without medicating. Very lucky. I definitely would have chopped off my boobs I think!
Interesting to see her hold so strongly to an ideology that helped create gender ideology
She doesn’t really think things through
Marxist economic theory has nothing to do with gender ideology and the fact that you think so shows you have no knowledge of what Marxism actually is. You just listen to buzzwords thrown around with no real meaning.
@@laurenthomas7224 I like buzzwords. They work great
@@laurenthomas7224 lol guy actually sent back the “erm acktually”. No guy, it is all part of the same subversive nose people ideology
My thoughts exactly. She has yet to shed, fully, the indoctrination and the activism distractions. She has improved somewhat from her younger destructive ideas, but she's continuing to hold onto the need to subvert the normative.
Time Marks would be very helpful. 53 minutes in and nothing about the marriage.
wish her the best............ all videos like this show a confused person. Very.
Not really, but I can see how it’s hard to follow nuanced conversation when you are used to people fitting in neat little boxes. Everyone is living and learning and changing, ideally.
*writes funny comment, immediately gets deleted*
Heroic comment.
Can you get creative with spelling and post again?
@@chrisazure1624 Eye 4gawt eggsactlee watt eye sed
Yep, it's gotten very dire on YT in terms of comment removal policies. This isn't just a simple "bad word list" filter anymore, that's for sure. To put it succinctly, f' you YT!.
@SpocksBro I know. It seems to limit topics without bad words. I now copy any long posts for future rework is deleted.
This cult so incentives narcissism-- when all you have to focus on is yourself and these sex characteristics being your entire identity its no wonder the depression rates are so high. Her determination that she either a marxist or a communist will hopefully subside as she learns to look outside of the walls of the cult at the things that truly matter. It sounds like she's naturally headed that direction. Good interview as always Benjamin.
100%
The interview is full of unbelievable foolishness. Hard to believe I listened for almost 2 hours. There's no end to the variations of "orientations" and interpretations of them.
What I take away from all of these conversations is: how much effing introspection can one human being take without going mad? Get out and meet other people. Expand your mind. Let others be your judge, never yourself. Trust others' judgement.
Aye same
Great advice.
My gosh the self introspection is off the charts. When I was young, 8 years old, 10, 15, 19, 22... i thought about going to concerts, homework, hanging out with my friends, going to a movie. Who or what is putting the emphasis on 'identity'? Why all this confusion? We're born, we grow up, life goes on. We weren't picking it apart.
The obsession with identity is so self centered and privileged
@nataleo9093 Yes. It seems to me these people are making a mountain out of a mole hill. Maybe if they had real problems instead of made-up problems, then their response or result would be organic instead of self-inflicted. Idk. Are these people narcissists? It's like they look in the mirror 24/7 and get stuck in a feedback loop.
Agree
@@nataleo9093 yup, it's a symptom of boredom and a lack of adversity. You have to keep young people active and engaged, and you have to do things that build character. Being too comfortable all the time is not healthy because then you just make up fake stressors such as identity confusion.
31:00
Ben: "Was there any expression of romantic, of the artistic, of the sublime? Was there true romance, did you behold heights like the gods on Olympus, pathos literally incarnate? Did you, for just one moment, rebuke your Weltschmerz, your profound ennui, and instead achieved a blissful sunyatta and welcomed the principle of Wu Wei into your arms?"
Girl: "Yeah, we like partied hard, lmfao" **grabs a boombox from behind her** **"EVERYDAY I'M SHUFFELING" sounds from the speaker**
😂😂😂😂 she has a beautiful smile. She makes me laugh. She's okay. She is so very young and still searching and she has not given up.
That's a good thing and a wonderful thing.
The empathy trap thing is so meta.
I was so grateful just to hear the word "transvestite." The whole "AGP" thing is just folks trying to make a fetish that really isn't that complicated into an entire sexual identity. It's a thing you like not a thing you are and the conflation of those things only builds a case for trans ideology.
"A thing you like, not a thing you are" seems to apply to the entire alphabet soup. It's not something to build an identity around, IMO.
I'd say it's something you do as opposed to something you are.
You can dress up like the opposite sex because you "like." When you are sexually aroused by that same thing it's definitely something else. Psychology.
@@Haleh1thank you! What you do with who you are - how your touch others and contribute never ever comes up with this generation - OMG the self absorption!
So your husband cheats on you and you as the gaslighted wife plays along.
He doesn't cheat he has sex with himself as a woman (dressed as one)
“marxist feminist, but that's descriptive rather than prescriptive” yep, she has NO IDEA what she's talking about lol
So he tricked a lesbian into being straight. What a guy.
Bullshit, she new exactly that she got a trans woman and was not "tricked" in any way.
Patriarchy out here playing 4 dimensional underwater chess.
Is she a lesbian? All the talk about the pedo Kinsey scale and being bi romantic and the fact that she's with a man doesn't sound very lesbian
You obviously have not listened properly or followed Ray's description of how they met and his feelings for her.
@@miriamlana833 this is why nobody likes you dudes. You don’t even try to hide your misogyny anymore.
*marxist Feminist* wow she has a way to go
1:10 Yup! I guess I’m an ‘Ultra’ and Benjamin pretty much nailed my views here! I do think she’s still on a journey. I think the relationship she’s in is probably coerced and he will most likely eventually become too jealous and controlling of her. She already recognised how her empathy is being weaponised. I guess time will tell…. We live and learn!
I don't mean this in a negative way, but some of her comments (have heard similar things from others online) just wouldn't have even crossed my mind as a kid. Like, "I didn't talk to anybody about the changes going on in my body." Neither did I. We had sex ed class. They told us what was going to go down. End of story. Moved on. I had no reason to talk to anyone about it.
Another one, like, "I didn't want attention from coming out in middle school." I get that sentiment, totally, but middle school? Nobody gave a single flying (beep) about what I was or was not attracted to in middle school and even well into high school, haha. Like, 0 interest, so why would I be walking around discussing my "sexuality" with anyone?
I was thinking the same thing… I think young people have really lost track of what average development is… uncomfortable, difficult and confusing…
I don't know her background, but usually children who have been sexually abused talk about sex and do sexually inappropriate things for their age.
That's because the parents aren't parenting their kids. They are letting the cell phones, laptops, internet, porn and social media parent their kids. This is why these kids are so self important. Blame the parents
Communism????
Even with live examples of GULAG, China, Cambodia
Wow
I really don’t think young Americans know anything about the history of communism.
They ALWAYS think it just hasn't been done right yet.
@@imawordgirl
Well… these days opportunities to move and LIVE there are available. Yet they continue living in and badger the West
that cancer is always infiltrating healthy cells.
You know what’s interesting? Listening to her talk about her childhood, I’m struck that some people really want to shove themselves into boxes. “I was same-sex attracted in middle and high school…” That’s all girls. “I tended to switch best friends every year as autistic girls do…” That’s most everyone. If you just think “I’m a normal person, I just go through different developmental phases”, it tends to make the boxes people seem very…neurotic.
What? Straight girls are not sexually attracted to other girls. Wym "that's all girls"?
That’s not all girls at all lol
@@Ruby_Spacek I exaggerate. But yes, it's a huge portion of girls. Probably upwards of 80%. Guys are scary to girls at first, so they tend to find other girls pretty and alluring at first.
Lol what? Most teen girls are straight
@@spencerm5913 I have spoken to Jules and there is a lot more to her background and life than what was stated in interview. She has struggled profoundly and found diagnosis useful in understanding and improving her life to get to the point she’s at now. I agree that a lot of kids and people are over diagnosed and medicalized but there are people who truly need support to function.
"im a descriptive Marxist" is a stunning comment.
Yeah after that she lost me. She’s got a whole lot of work ahead of her.
@@LaDominicana2011 You may have missed out bc she gave insight to an interesting aspect on the predicament of women in a capitalistic society scilicet trading off financial independence against a family with children. Which is not an issue limited to females but the pressure is prominently on them.
@@GO-yl2mvthat predicament largely goes away if you prioritize better criteria when selecting your partner.
I see what she means. Academic Agent is a right-wing, NRX-adjacent youtuber who does a fair amount of Marxist analysis. It can be useful.
@@LaDominicana2011 you hear one word that triggers you then just tune out? I guess you do you buddy, different ideas can be scary 😢
When she said around 20:00 that she thought her brain was more male typical and her demeanor more like a man, that's exactly how I felt growing up and into my transition. I only detransitioned a year ago after 14 years living as a man.
It's also funny how she was surrounded by a kind of early Social Justice and was more subjected to it that finding it organically from her own volition. I experienced that as well growing up in the 2000s.
This woman is unlike any male I know. She is certainly an oppressed woman. She has been abused and manipulated since youth. There is a whole backstory she’s glossed over.
No male will say they have a 'male typical' brain.
Are the efforts to perfectly self -define healthy, or does it make people self absorbed? I don’t mean this in a judgy way.
Very good question.
I can't listen to people who say "like" so many goddamn times.
Yeah, and the tone of her voice is so typical for a US liberal that I as a Swede can't stand it.
normal people flaws. like not everyone is like great at podcast like you know what i mean?
@@gulanhem9495I just started listening and can barely stand it
Voice physiognomy matters
I can't stand people who, like hate the world like and , like nitpick others like that. you probably talk a lot, like, behind backs.
Wow, this is,like, not that bad, like, compared to some other, like, videos I’ve consumed,like,like.
Interesting interview, and appreciate her coming on....but clearly still has issues and many of her own narratives about herself dont add up. You can even tell Ben struggles with some of the stuff she says in parts.....like make it make sense lol
She's about my age, but speaks like someone in their early 20's (emotionally stunted.) I also have autism, so I doubt it's that. I bet she has a traumatic background that Benjamin surprisingly didn't pry into.
I stop by from time to time to listen.
Thank you Benjamin for letting me put my two cents in.
Godspeed Benjamin !!
Thank you for having Jules on!!! great convo ❤❤
What is a bit disturbing is that the guest keeps referring to understanding yourself and staying open…. What happened to feeling (vs understanding) and following one’s instinct and trusting self than falling into the empathy traps?
Some of my best students are on the spectrum and none of them “switched “ friend groups very often. 😂
Totally get not wanting to feel emotions. That’s common with dysregulation and trauma I think.
This has the makings of a fascinating calmveration, so welcome Ms. Jules 🐈
@42:44 I am a woman who has been married for 40 years. I married with the explicit understanding that the home was my domain. I control all our finances. My husband earns the wages and gleefully hands it to me to allocate and spend. I don’t know what a Marxist would define that. We are a traditional Ashkenasi family.
Ohh I’m so glad she was finally diagnosed with Autism. When she said compost and soil regeneration was her passion- I KNEW. 😁
Isn't that just standard fare for a lot of middle class types or is everyone autistic now?
Our obsessions are always oddly specific 😂. Even the stereotypical autistic horse girl. She'll fixate on one breed, one event, whatever.
Knew what ? That’s she’s a gardener? If you have a garden soil regenerative practices are a must.
@@JennyJeanRazzlecalm down Sparky.
@@JennyJeanRazzle I was moved to believe that she was autistic by the way she described her love of composting and soil regeneration as her “passion”. I’m autistic. I am an avid gardener. I compost and I let my garden die back and do its thing. My soil is fkn BEAUTIFUL. But I wouldn’t describe composting and soil regeneration as my “passion”.
But that’s because my passions (rn) are early American medical practices and also magnetoreception.
IYKYK
Wow. Social justice camp. Reminds me when I was in a comedy group where we did a Girl Scouts show and our troop all got menstruation badges. I wonder what kind of badges do they give out at social justice camp?
Forcing kids to sit in the "discomfort of the knowledge of their own privilege," it was like some weird struggle session.
In all due respect, sounded like a grooming camp. I do mean that respectfully as it can be, but as it was described, those kids were stunted in their personal growth instead of naturally growing into who they could have been.
You're not wrong. @@kinglyone7172
@@kinglyone7172 No need to be respectful. It's something that should not have happened. What kind of idiots signed their kids up for this?
aka a cult. Not letting them leave to go to the bathroom or take a breather is something that cults of all kinds do in the early stages.
Oh my - I listened intently- and still consider that’s time I’ll never get back - she’s so. lost. I’ve a headache now.
I couldn't stand her for more than a few minutes.
Voice physiognomy is also a fertile topic to explore in relation to worldview, "lived experience" and the woke wars, in addition to one's location in the beauty hierarchy (which I mentioned under The Jolly Heretic video), since, clearly, patterns persist.
Im sorry that she had a late diagnosis for her autism. I worked in the Developmental Disability population managing a group home for over a decade. It's really heartbreaking that this ideology has literally targeted this population. A population of people who were often institutionalized or chemically restrained/controlled up until the 1980s. Now, It seems like they're being mentally institutionalized into this space where they dont necessarily belong. Maybe it wasn't on purpose at first however activists and ideologues have definitely caught on that these folks can be molded and shaped through indoctrination and confusion. People who are autistic for instance often have other mental illnesses like BPD, explosive disorders, bipolar disorders and OCD making them the perfect targets. The manipulation of reality is easy as they are often looking for a reason for the behaviors they have or are displaying. It really must like an Ah Ha moment of Ohhh THIS is why I'm this way which I think is a easier pill to swallow then you're this way because thats just the way you are. I hope this women finds healing and happiness outside of all this madness.
I'm a late diagnosed woman too and I agree. But I'm really not able to have this opinion openly among autistic groups. It's lonely.
Once again, these stories are absolutely valuable as cautionary tales for people in the throws of adolescence or mental illness - but i repeat myself...however, its commob that these folks, when they are emerging from their particular malady will have utterly blinkered takes on topics outside of the featured item.
I was interested in this interview but this woman says “like” so often that I could no longer listen.
She's talking like a teenager from 2006. Her intelligence is also under question
And like?
Oh yes!!! I have been watching Ray Williams since he started pretty much so excited for this interview.
My @handle takes on a whole new level of irony on this special occasion, *breaks out the fancy silverware*
I'm still reeling
Right around the time of GITMO where they were torturing people post-911, a certain group of people also unleashed the indoctrination and torture tactics on the general population in the US. These tactics were developed in the Israeli prison/torture system since the 1950s.
Thanks for a great interview.
Lesbianism as an avoidance mechanism for the male gaze example ♾
yes
What's the solution then? To stop the feeling of threat from men.
@@kr3642 I don’t know. Lesbianism seems to be working okay except for the whole domestic violence part, maybe that isn’t so great. Personally I don’t think these kind of deep biological problems have “solutions” necessarily, we just have ways to suppress them and their symptoms to some extent. There will always be tension between freedom and safety that has to be balanced and the march of history and politics will swing this pendulum back and forth.
Great conversation! I like this guest, such a brilliant personality and open smart mind. I learned a lot. ThanKS for sharing
Jules and Ray are lovely folks.
Yes!
Notice that everything she says sounds like a question? It's a clear sign she's deeply insecure and confused.
As for the stupid "we need to pay stay at home women for the work they do" line, I work full time and live alone. Who does she think does the housework when I get home? Sure ain't the tooth fairy. Do I get payment for the work I do for myself in my own home?
It's a communism thing. You can just make up random rules for the redistribution of wealth based on whatever is in vogue at the time.
“Being obsessed with gender means I missed out on so many women’s studies classes…”
Methinks she has a LOT more maturing to go through.
Not at all, there are plenty of more interesting things to study about being a woman in the world then being a “gender” which is a newer trendier ideology which combined with liberal pop feminism has scrambled people’s minds.
This was yet again fascinating! Love the opennes and allowence for curiosity. ❤
Holy vocal fry mackerel, this is like listening to nails on a chalk board, and the valley gurl up speech too on top of it. Horrific
It's a pretty common thing for female detransitioners. Testosterone screws up the vocal chords in women
Women are nature nurture.
She is a very sensitive person and there's nothing wrong with that. That's very beautiful to be so tender.
Yes, but it sadly also makes many women vulnerable to bad people (who prey) and bad ideas.
@@carolmcln5028 Role of dads used to be the gatekeeper for suitors. Women tend not to be able to spot manipulators until they're older (late 20's/30's).
Not all women, some women can't nurture worth a dang. either cold, or just dumb.
This :)
Im only 19 min in, but i sympathize so much with her. I refused to talk about my body and woman problems. I hated the idea of being sexualized. And emotions were just something i hated and refused to express. Even now i try to be more stoic. I was very much a tomboy and loved sports. I never wanted to be a boy. I wanted to be a tough woman/girl though. And i was/am. Even though im a SAHM and mother to 3 boys. Which i do think it takes a certain level of toughness to be out numbered by boys in my house 😅 and i couldnt imagine having a daughter.
I tried to watch this but too many ‘yeah but like’ why do Americans use that word a lot it’s hard to listen to 😅
Some people "umm" and "errr", some people find another stalling word such as "like"
@@salsamancer I don’t no why but when people say like like like I switch off no hate just my brain 🤣
Mainly just people under thirty who speak that way. It gets on my last nerve!
Interesting conversation but the speech ‘like’ mannerisms were hard to listen to initially. Inner monologue said out loud seems to be the thing these days but I love the fact that she and Ray have found each other and seem to be finding a way to a settled and happy life. I also loved her laugh. Thank you for these interactions Benjamin. ❤🇬🇧
Hello Benjamin, and guest. See you soon.
Jules.👋🏻
I find this interesting. In my circle I know several gay/bi/same-sex attracted men or women who are married to a member of the opposite sex, but for largely religious reasons and (more and more) there is actual compatibility. And of course, they’re hated in the LGBT world. It’s interesting to hear of a similar kind of relationship from a different lens.
Zizek is more of a Hegelian, and he ALMOST manages to not be completely insane.
Would appreciate a pointer to the Jordan Peterson "lesbians don't exist" claim, didn't find such a tweet.
It would be hilarious for someone to think God is more real than lesbians.
That tweet doesn't exist
I think this may refer to Peterson saying that women are less definitive in their sexual preferences when young.
The demonization of Peterson is so wild to me. My nephew thinks he is a natzi. He was frantic when his mom was watching some of Peterson’s old lectures on UA-cam. I assured my sister that he wasn’t a faschist.
@@Beelzebubbles759 Some people seem to think that if someone gets really distressed if you don't do what they demand (like use their preferred, wait, mandatory pronouns) you are unempathetic and unkind, there has to be something wrong with you if you keep going. One photo with someone wearing a Pepe shirt and their imagination can run free, he's one of THEM, a nazi, a fascist, an oppressor, pure evil.
That's my guess, anyway.
Being a late dx autistic woman myself, i see one pitfall here with her current relationship. We need to accept that we are uniquely vulnerable not just to the woke ideology cult but to manipulative personalities across all contexts. She even said herself that empathy trapping was rife within the sjw circle and its a tactic employed by cluster b personalities. (Even though otherwise healthy ppl fall into it too)
The autogynephile husband is a huge red flag. I think there really is something to the idea that theyre more likely to be narcissistic. You really shouldnt let people erode your boundaries especially if youre autistic. Dont think you can intellectualize other peoples flaws all the time.
OK...get this one, I married an autodidact, and now she insists she knows everything. 🙄
I'd ask why these people always seem so crazy, but I guess that goes with the territory even if they eventually figure out that gender is nonsense. "A castle is not built with a single stone", and all that...
I think that employers should be more open to people who work flexible hours and work from home so that women can ease into and out of the regular work force as demands on their time from child rearing change. I think I'm going to encourage any woman I marry to do that, to find something of her own that doesn't demand her full-time attention so she can more easily juggle.
What’s even the point in being a ‘descriptive’ Marxist?
A communist & professor, wow so hip and cool. No wonder you were confused.
It's funny because for every good woman and mother I've ever met, their resume is almost irrelevant when compared with the value and satisfaction of raising kids.
Her over use of the word like and upward inflection made this interview hard to listen to.
The reason you don't get paid for doing housework is because then you're getting both the benefit of the labor and also then getting paid for it. The whole point of getting paid for something is that you're working for someone elses direct benefit rather than your own so they give you money in exchange. Now, since the division of labor means that one partner doing the housework means the other partner can specialize in getting more money, it has long been recognized that the partner who works at home has some legal claim to the money their partner earns.
Well, if women (or whoever) were paid to raise children and didn’t have to worry about the man screwing her over then maybe men also wouldn’t have to worry about getting screwed over by the woman. There are plenty of men who feel like they get the shaft in a divorce nowadays. Also, society could view raising the next generation as a job that is important to everyone and worth as much as blowing people up in other countries. 🤷🏻♀️
Who would pay these women who are raising children?
“Some legal claim” has left many women trapped in awful situations netting them zero$$$ and much harm
@@ArtU4All It has also left many men in awful situations. There is no practical solution that doesn't leave some people in awful situations, because some people are awful, and often both of them are.
What chrinic condition does she have? Im a late diagnosed autistic woman too and her description of her symptoms is relatable to me. Ive been trying to get help for it but dont have the words to bring to my doctor
She sounds more borderline than autistic.
Idk about aligning with mindsets that only identify problems while being toothless in terms of solutions. It seems like she’d generally prefer choosing the best (in her opinion) solutions/ideas without regard for any particular ideology… that’s just independent.
43:00 Ben's self control here is admirable.
I agree wholeheartedly.
Discovery of self is now just a series of "what labels shall ai wear today?". And, "I'm not an individual who had a series of friends when I was young." Instead, "oh, I've got the autistic badge" to go along with my lesbian badge even though my hb is a man. But I can really be with a L because his chosen label is T.
I had a similar experience. I thought I was trans and even if I still am it is an incredible effort to work against nature and society. My life was already tough without this but with it, it was just too much. I just had to be stoic and choose to do the thing that would give me the least complications and unnecessary difficulties, ie just go with the reality of the body and society I'm in. I later learned of Jung and the anima which helped me better understand how to relate to my inner contasexual archetype/anima. Without needing to dress in a feminine way.
4:24 I felt the exact same way. It really confused me when I got even older and figured out I ALSO liked boys. By the time I graduated, I promised myself I’d bury my same sex attraction because being “straight” would just be easier. By 24, I felt so repressed and resented that decision while at the same time feeling I really had no choice because, well, survival… normalcy. I finally told my boyfriend at the time. He freaked out. Acted supportive at first, but really never trusted me ever again after that. Always suspicious of me and my female friends. That relationship ended. Over the next few years I dated men and women and both felt equally as comfortable. Confirmed, bisexual. I met a new man I wanted a relationship with. He knew from the start I was bi. I explained to him that no does not mean no monogamous and that I only wanted him. It didn’t matter. He had preconceived notions about bisexuals and assumed I was horny for every female friend I have. He also would say I was actually “gay” when I didn’t want to have sex with him (because he was emotionally, and eventually physically abusive and it was a huge turn off.) Finding the courage to come out as anything but straight is really difficult and definitely comes with challenges. After all of that… here I am in my mid 30s, in a happy and secure monogamous relationship with a man after all. But somehow, it doesn’t feel like “all for nothing.” All of these experiences (and many in between that I didn’t share) have lead me to appreciate the man I have fallen for. He completely accepts me and although I am monogamous, has told me if I wanted to be with another woman at any time, I’m welcome to ask for permission and will likely get approved. He doesn’t want to stifle me. I have zero desire to do that. But it felt great being accepted and not threatened by who I am. He’s so confident in our bond, that he knows with certainty that I’d never leave him for anyone. Bisexuals, find you one like that.
Glad you found your way
I feel like she really needs an "ism" and needs some over-arching philosophical narrative to tie together things. I don't know that I do, and I'm not sure it's a particularly useful way to approach the world.
I have a general set of principles about how I want to treat others and how I would like others to treat me in the small. And for policy issues I tend to want solutions that are internally self-correcting. As I've put it before, a sort of tensinegrity structure of incentives.
I feel that one of the huge strengths of the US Constitution is how that document outlines that kind of structure for how our government is supposed to work.
I think looking for local solutions might be better, and then seeing about generalizing ones that seem to work on a local basis.
1:05:00 - There must be a word! I have to slot him into some kind of externally defined system!
The ism people confuse me too. It's strange how most people are like that. I've never understood why they can't just exist.
Maybe it's because we're a tribal species and that part of the outlier brain is broken? It's also strange how autistic people are split on this. I've met some ism autistics and others like me.
Jules, have you studied Mary Harrington? I find her thoughts insightful.
Someone else here said "Oh dear, the world has become too complicated for me."
All I can say is, me too... me too.
🥺
Interesting discussion, even with the clickbait, haha.
I guess fomophobia, despite being alliteratively attractive, would be a prejudice against people who experience fear of missing out. I'm sure Benjamin considered this within seconds of saying it, however.
Detransition lizard? Or is it a chameleon?
Some people don't care about systems at all!
Kudos for having Daniel Quinn's Ishmael in the background. Awesome book.
i never have seen this channel. i like the host. and the guest, id really like to sit and talk to her. i’m cautious of calling people autistic in the same way we call everyone gender non conforming, but many would call me “autistic” too. she just reminds me of all the girls i grew up with and the friends i gravitated toward, bc i related to them better. her ideas about descriptive marxism are interesting and i hate marxism as a prescriptive note but i understand what she means by approaching the world from a descriptive stance. would love to just sit and chat.
very interesting convo
Great interview!!! Nice to hear from some left leaning people too from time to time. 😊
So her husband literally supports her but she thinks it's nuts for women to rely on a man when they have a child.....hahaha
All these constructs are just constructs and not what’s actually real and right in front of our faces. If that makes sense. Some people have too much time to think up and about things and not learn the facts.
- This was a lot about her husband, - what about her?
I'm 34 minutes in and haven't heard a peep about the husband yet.
Thanks, Ashley, for saving me the response.
40 minutes in and still nothing
52 in
Communes are small villages then they grow into a town. Lol
I knew she’d say chores!!