“If all we know is comfort, we might be traumatized when we are forced to experience pain or discomfort, as we someday almost surely will. In other words, voluntary discomfort can be thought of as a kind of vaccine: By exposing ourselves to a small amount of a weakened virus now, we create in ourselves an immunity that will protect us from a debilitating illness in the future.”
it sounds like it would work but in my experience, you need to do a lot more than just subject yourself to intentional discomfort, it can definitely help but by no means will it solve the problem
As a person who's been applying stoicism everyday for a few years, the most life-changing advice was that "stoicism is not about ignoring your discomfort, it is about not having the discomfort to ignore in the first place".
I think what works for me is not thinking that "others are having it worse" but more so that "things could be worse than now but it's not". This way, I'm not comparing my situation to other people, rather I'm comparing the situation to a worse situation.
Yeah I think it’s really sad to use other people’s pain to make ourselves feel better. There is actually a person out there who is in the worst pain imaginable, and it doesn’t feel right that I should be happy I’m not them.
@@wendys9500 PERFECTLY SAID!! I always felt icky about the ''you should be grateful, some people have it worse'' attitude, because to me it feels like I have to feel superior over less fortunate people and I don't want to.
Stoicism changed my life. I used to be severely emotional and reactive to life and was such a victim to circumstance and the environment around me, and one day it occurred to me that the only way to move on positively in life was to take control of my emotions, become more humble and view my life through an objective lens. At that point stoicism was instrumental in providing a framework that made sense to me, absolutely greater than any therapy I’ve ever done in my life. I studied it and it just clicked and it’s made me a better and happier individual.
Stoicism helped me get over my breakup back in 2019, it was one of the most helpful philosophies to help me realize that I wanted to improve myself instead of wallowing away in my feelings forever. With moderation and approach, it is life changing because it shifted my perspectives on everything. Sucks that some people have used it for the hyper masculinity stuff and made it manly or whatever, it's a philosophy, it doesn't have to become a modernized capitalist lifestyle
I'm glad it helped You to power through the trying situation that You mentioned. As to some folks adopting Stoicism as some sort of grounds to justify their unjust behavior: Uhm, that's a misappropriation of the philosophy, pure and simple. Stoicism does not support any sort of gratuitous aggression or predation, be it within a physical or business/economic context. At root, Stoicism is a Moral Philosophy. In fact, it's Hyper-Moral ... at least, by my read of it. But that may seem hyper-aggressive when a true Stoic has determined that it is his/her duty to neutralize a malevolent agent ... with extreme prejudice if, and only if, necessary. That's my understanding of the code. Whether that is or is not the true Stoic way, it is my way. I'm not out to save the World. But, anyone who maliciously harms my Daughter gets his head mailed to his mommy in a box. If that sounds hyper-masculine, then so be it. Excellent Comment! Best to You and Yours, ~TD, Boston
I kinda followed the hyper masculinity stuff a bit and later on it just seemed like ppl were making it a bigger deal than what it actually is and devolved into idolizing these ways of thought or the ppl who preach it
I didn’t realize that I was a “natural” stoic until a lot of people in my life wanted me around them which made me question them why they wanted me around and they would all say “you give off a calm presence” and even my parents say “you’re our rock that keeps us steady,” which at first surprised me because I would do alot of self reflection and find myself very emotional on the inside. It wasn’t until I read about stoicism that I already practice some of the things that they talked about but I still want to work on myself with this practice.
As a buddhist myself i can tell that theres a lot of similiarities between stoicism, mindfulness meditation and buddhist teachings that i apply or try every single day of my life, its so enriching
I have lived through many hardships using this perspective, just found out some years ago it is called stoicism. It was engrained in me by my grandma, the value of sacrifice, the value of discipline and acceptance.
Not to sound cheesy, Stoicism absolutely changed my life. I read just one paragraph every morning, and it sets the tone for the day. Cannot recommend it enough.
The connection between the stoics and modern therapy is even deeper. Albert Ellis, the founder of the first cognitive therapy approach REBT, often said he was directly inspired by Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius
while i think the ideology is a net postive. i find young people online having a little bit of a misunderstanding of what it means to be stoic. they have morphed it into "Broicism". instead of allowing themselves to feel the full emotions when something happens to them; they try to be numb and not feel anything. what it means to me to be stoic is to be able to ride the ups and the downs and know that it will end.
Where does it say that’s what Stoicism is about? The Stoics believed there are “good” (or “proper”) and “bad” (or “improper”) emotions. The goal of Stoicism is to have only “good” emotions and eliminate “bad” emotions.
I remember when my ex gf punch me 3 times and I stay calm AND NUMB cuz I learn stoicism before And know I heard she end up in prison cuz domestic violence KARMA IS REAL
Thank you for your video. Being fairly stoic, one thing I have difficulties with is: when you are your own arbiter, it's hard to judge what is and isn't outside your control. Framing systemic issues like that lessens suffering, but the drive to work for change despite stacked odds and failure requires undertaking some personal responsibility, so it seems best to believe opposing ideas simultaneously... And when people whom you've treated kindly treat you poorly, it seems a refutaton of fairness/justice: if others still do by well by being disrespectful, why be kind? (The rebuttal being that maybe they don't, and that the positive effects of being kind are hard to see but are real.) And that being kind is its own blessing or whatever. Still, Stoicism feels so intuitive: life is hard; "it do be that way sometimes"; work hard and chill out.
The problem you stated is kinda touched in Marcus Aurelius work. Other people are external factors, you can't control them hence why you just have to accept the way it is and change your approach to them. You have to understand that they're rude or agressive because of their own character that you can't change, all you can do is to not let them bring you down to their level, stay polite (not kind necessarily) and remove yourself from the situation if possible.
Something I use for acceptance is saying “this is my story and I’m sticking to it”. I accept that this happened in my life, it made me feel certain way. (It helps with self validation, something I used to struggle with). It helps with acceptance. After that, I think “I get the life I want”. So after accepting, I look for whatever’s out there that I can choose and I can control to get it without invalidating myself. I feel pain, but I don’t suffer (the popular “pain is inevitable, suffering is optional”). It has helped me with emotional regulation and self-esteem: I am not a victim of life, I’m the protagonist of it… this is just my story, and there are setting, but I have the power to control my actions even if I was not able to see that power before.
The only problem i have with it is it's post-modern interpertation of it; i often see people use it's doctrine as a scapegoat to not put effort or slack on noble and important matters, or use it as a quick "to go" answer for things they can't justify, people like the part of stoicism that gives you tranquility and peace, but not the aspect to stay honest & indomitable.
I have some thoughts to add about the locus of control. Sometimes people talk about systematic issues as if they are completely out of our control, and therefore it's better to focus on our individual lives that we can control. To me this sounds like a very black and white way of looking at it. We do have some level of power in changing the systems that are making so many people so unhappy. We can organize, unionize, vote and so much more. The only catch is no one person can change everything by themselves. It takes a collective effort, and sometimes other people will chose to be indifferent or work against our efforts, and we can't control the actions of those people. It also takes a lot more time and patience, kind of like the saying: "if you want to go fast go alone, and if you want to go far go together". Personally I'm trying to accept that things are the way they are at this moment in time while still doing my part to fight for a better future.
Yes!! For instance with global warming it happens to me that I try doing something about it, I know it’s not under my control to revert it by myself, I can’t do that. But I can take actions that align to my values, I can raise awareness, maybe those others raise awareness to and we all make a change… or maybe not, but I know that I did what was under my control to make a change and live according to my values. :)
I think stoicism works logically and it makes a lot of sense and can strengthen a person who is already in a safe and healthy environment. I think stoicism doesn’t work well for our nervous system or emotional side of the brain. I don’t mean it doesn’t offer helpful tools and mindsets to calm those sides of you, but I mean that the brain just needs certain things whether you have a good outlook or not. It doesn’t matter if you fully understand that you deserve love and that your worth love. If no one around you is loving you how you want, you’re going to be suffering. We’re human. Stoicism might help you bare that pain, but it won’t help you feel less of it. Also, tbh, a good community and a happy life for long periods of time makes harsher periods WAYYY easier to deal with. There’s this idea that a hard life makes you strong… in reality, a healthy life is what makes you strong, and that often includes a lot of happiness and ease. And with that, you can traverse hardships with that strong foundation. The human brain was made to handle the world it was born in. Providing it with support and health will make things easier to deal with. Forcing it into strength simply won’t work. And I don’t think stoicism inherently does that or anything, but I find a lot of people use it in that way and avoid the real issues. I’m personally pretty stoic, but sometimes, it just doesn’t help emotionally
I feel like, if no one around you is loving you, you will be suffering but stoicism could lessen the suffering or even take you past the suffering since for a lot of time of distress, what you tell yourself really matters. Im not so sure having a "happy life for long periods of time" will make the harsher periods easier to deal with. The harsh period will be a harsh period and since we tend to focus on the negative and if we only focus on the negatives without support from a stoic mindset, i'm not sure if there will be any difference. A healthy life does make you stronger but if you don't have the mental capacity to cope with hardships, is that really considered a healthy life? I agree with the bit of people maybe using stoicism as a well to avoid the real issues but i'd argue that it's really just a tool and these people are not using the tool correctly so it's not really the tools fault but rather the person using it. What we want is to use multiple 'good' tools together and correctly.
@23:45 I think we tend to focus on things that are out of our control (especially things like familial/generational trauma, as mentioned in that comment) because they impede us from achieving our goals on a very fundamental level. If you are living with a family member who’s dealing with addiction, it takes away so much of your energy to deal with their actions and choices on a daily basis, it’s like you’re constantly waiting for an impending doom. Dealing with CPTSD is another example, where your cognitive abilities are so impaired, you’re barely able to make right choices for yourself (cause of being in survival mode) let alone think about what is in and out of your control. Not focusing on what is out of our control can definitely help us, but it’s just incredibly hard and it takes a lot of internal work to achieve a stoic mindset. There is a lot of nuance involved in these situations. This was a great video, thoroughly enjoyed it! :)
When I first started reading about Stoicism, I never thought it would be THIS relatable for me. I’ve literally built my personality based on stoic ideas and especially after getting interested in stoicism and philosophy as a whole that “character building” became soo stable and full of motivation. I feel really peaceful.
Stoicism is something that i can only achieve by daydreaming. When reality hits, i can’t help myself but to hit it back way harder than the last time almost immediately no question asked. You’re right that it’s not applicable to all human and but i agree that this is the best we can do to ourselves. Love your video, this is a great feast for my mind thank you.
I also have a problem with journaling. Whenever I have free time to think about my life I just get depressed at my failures as a human. Everything was fine when I wasn't aware of my faults. Ignorance was bliss. I kinda stopped journaling because of that very reason. It was just dragging me down.
Believe me or not, i overcome that phrase with more jounaling. Now whenever i reread my old entries, i kinda feel proud that i had those thoughts so early. I feel that i'm quite mature and reflective in a sense. Anyways, now i'm talking existential to the AI (or maybe "trauma dumping"), it's taking pretty great, i found it a little more helpful than writing with my mind only
Yeah but when you realize you're at fault, that just means you have control. And if you have control then that means it can be changed. I love finding out when something is my fault because I just think 'finally something I can do something about'
I've been stoic for the last 5 years and its the best decision i've made in my life. Good to know it gets this much traction these days because i believe its the only way to cope with life in these times.
Stoicism and Confucianism helped me so much to put my act together and mature. Back in the day I was very emotional, very immature, very unrealistic. I expected other people to be nice to me, to solve my problems, to keep me safe and never hurt me. Those expectations really hurt me, I was always unhappy, bitchy, I always envied others whom I deemed better, lucky because they were beautiful, had friends, opportunities. I was a miserable self loading mess. But adapting some stoic teachings into my daily routine, checking my emotions, thinking outside of my eco chamber, giving up on the victim mentality, being objective, focusing on what I can do to make the situation favorable for myself, giving on the idea that other people are the key to my happiness and stability. Those things helped me develop and break some circles of toxic behavior that kept me stuck in misery.
I've just began my stoic journey about a month ago, I journal daily and have read Marcus Aurelis' meditations. You can literally apply stoicism in real time with just about anything. I have been very pleased with what I've learned/my growth so far. Great vid!
thank you for this! I’ve always loved the saying ‘memento mori’, it actually brings me comfort and peace and makes my problems feel tiny and manageable in the grand scheme. It’s also nice because my mother passed away of cancer in less than a few months and I’m in my early twenties completely lost but it gives me courage to live my life with less fear because I could also die at any time and that there is no guarantee to life.
I got into stoicism at around the same time i found your channel. And today you are doing a video on this. I love how you are taking something ancient and modern and finding that link. Love it
I was so excited for this video!! Some of my favorite books from the stoic realm are "meditations" by Marcus Aurelius and "on the shortness of life" by Seneca. I've also learned that people are either going to seek to understand you, or intentionally misunderstand you because of preconceptions some individuals can have. So if you wanted to do shorts, I 100% support you in what is most important for you to make!
Appears You've witnessed some Confirmation Bias. Top-Down thinking for those who are too uncomfortable with the possibility that their prejudices may be unfounded.
So glad you brought up philosophy...these are universal problems that have plagued ALL humankind in all times...our problems FEEL unique and special to us, but that is mere vanity. And there is no measuring adversity, whether yours is better or worse than mine...the history of humans is long. While WE may think that the Holocaust was the worse thing to befall humans in the history of mankind, how about Stalins much higher number of ethnic cleansing and murders...it is a conceit ...trying to decide whose suffering is or has been the worst.any individual any group.Which evil is more evil?... a pointless task.
Amor Fati. I like the idea of drawing concentric circles with the inner circle containing things you can control, and the outer circle with the things you can't control. Really puts into perspective even the idea that while acceptance should be a mainstay, in actuality you may have more agency than you think in using the inner circle to influence indirectly the things you can't control.
Can you influence the borders of the inner circle? I've come to find that acceptance is not completely the same as agreement or especially obedience/submission. I think some stoics overreach implying acceptance is anything more than recognizing the current reality for what it is, so that you may be able to form it to what it can be. Joining a group of common cause is one way to challenge the individualistic model of control we sometimes fall into and showing how those borders are not so well defined between the spheres of influence.
@@celphdfined9298 You put it so well. I don't really mess with concepts similar to stoicism because sometime those or rather some people practicing those are kind of egocentric and don't have the bigger picture in mind which ultimately includes social justice and serving the community. It often looks like we can only control ourselves and our own actions but there is no action which doesn't also affect others and it's important to keep that in mind and to use it to everyone's benefit not just yours.
@@Shirumoon Absolutely, although I am convinced that it is impossible to maintain groups and social justice without encouraging individual responsibility at the same time. Freedom and social justice requires both individual responsibility and collective responsibility. If one cannot maintain the self or be as responsible and as disciplined as one can be, then it is very difficult to be responsible as a group.
Interestingly enough the author of this phrase is Nitsche (or how his name spelled in English) who was a nihilist. But fits perfectly with stoicism, I agree.
I used to be under the impression that stoicism was about repressing/ignoring your feelings (which I believe is a common misconception) since I was told it was about minimizing negative feelings and enduring events with indifference, and I thought this could go down a pretty toxic path. However, the way you described stoicism was really insightful; where stoicism is about uplifting your life and giving it perspective. I learned a lot; this was a great video to watch.
Same. Although I think *seeming* indifferent is a biproduct of stoicism that comes with the shift in perspective. I can see how it got that reputation.
I cant express enough how much i love watching your videos and how you're always nailing your explanations and presenting your research in a brilliant way. You've got a way with words that almost seems perfect. I was having a very tough day trying to navigate feelings of resistance to a situation but watching this calmed me down enormously and put a lot of things back into perspective Thank you for making these videos Ana, i wish you all great and lovely things
It is absolutely is good for people’s mental health, once properly understood. Don’t catastrophize. Don’t desire what is beyond your control and expect to never get upset from time to time.
My middle school teacher who was a close friend and father figure called me stoic. It wasn’t until much later when I read “Meditations” that I really identified with it. I admire stoicism, and it’s gotten me thru hardships in life and work. It matured me.
0:22 My most meaningful "epiphany" so far is looking at mindfulness through the lens of a specific philosophy and also Buddhism. There's a lot to unpack in this; it's like a massive revelation to find meaning in philosophy and science for things I did my whole life! It's so cool hearing you discover stoicism! I can't wait to hear about it. 😊
Please don't shorten your comments solely bc you think the length of them are too long.Your thoughts can be interesting and valuable.These thoughts were-to me atleast.If you are worried about people seeing them and it being too long you could always type in paragraphs or something.Start small.Thankyou for sharing
my most meaningful epiphany was when I finally realized I was the only thing keeping myself from being happy. I had a "why me?" mentality for many years regarding every bad thing that would happen to me and the many bad things that had happened to me in the past, which was a huge blockage in my journey to growth and healing. I learned to let go and accept that what happened to me happened and i can't change the past but i can surely grow from it, so then I could finally overcome my depression and suicidal ideation. i've never ever been happier!
Im glad to see a video that describes stoicism outside the unfortunate modern take people have about it, many people, specially in the "red pill" community take stoicism and costrude it with this idea of feeling no emotions, being manly and overall various toxic traits.
Almost every exercise you mentioned are ones I have done without realizing it is a part of ACT, CBT, or DBT. Also, I think I took on a stoic mindset without realizing it. I don't know how that happened I guess I just wanted to grow up not being a hypocrite and be the most resilient person possible. CBT/DBT really helped me overcome my bipolar disorder. I am ashamed to say that at one point my family used to fear me. Since I got the help I needed and realized where my anger came from I am in a much better spot now. There really is a light at the end of the tunnel.
One thing I feel like people get wrong about stoicism is that, accepting/loving “fate” doesn’t mean you don’t actively try to improve the world around you. I hear a lot of people using the “it could be worse” in a very defeatist passive way. It’s ok their political leaders get worse and worse, it’s ok their rights are eroded, it’s ok corporations take more and more power over their lives because “it could be worse”. Or they wallow in stagnation because life is cyclical after all, so it’s ok that our capitalist system has recession/depression built in because there has to be downs to ups right? So why try any different system? 🤮
for a long time I have neglected stoicism because of this very notion: I was and still kinda am very traumatized politically and socially and thought that stoicism would just be a way of subjecting myself to the oppression that we all feel. little by little I am trying to deconstruct this to a feeling of acceptance, but righteous and assertive action towards a meaningful good, and using stoicism as a technique to understand the scenario, not necessarily to act on it. am I missing something here?
This is an interesting topic for me to listen to others talk about. I sometimes feel like I have a bad habit of just responding to situations purely emotionally whether that be through anger, sadness, annoyance, etc, without giving much rational thought to things until after the fact. I sometimes feel like I need to practice being more stoic because sometimes I just don’t have a sound understanding of my feelings on a given situation.
Discovering Stoicism this year has been immensely beneficial for me. I can't emphasize enough how much it has positively impacted my life. Despite common misconceptions that being Stoic implies a demeanor of seriousness and detachment from the world, my interpretation is quite different. To me, it's about embracing authenticity, cherishing the concept of fate, cultivating gratitude, and pursuing continual learning. Stoicism, for me, is an approach that encourages viewing life's challenges as enigmatic adventures or opportunities to grow. It's not about suppressing emotions but rather understanding and managing them. Self-awareness plays a pivotal role, allowing a deeper understanding of personal emotions and feelings. Moreover, it's a constant reminder to practice self-love and acknowledgment that in life, certain aspects remain within our control, while others do not.
Marcus Aurelius' Meditations continue to have a huge impact on my rationale & mindset. Stoicism gave me perspective & some space to breathe during trying times in my life
I had only considered myself emotionally stoic but seems I have naturally adopted an stoic mindset in general. I feel as though I am in a good state mentally but an issue i think I have is a struggle to feel excitement, especially impending exciting.
@@theeternalgus9119 I don't think so, even when something which should be exciting is coming up its not on my mind until it needs to be while I think those who would feel impending excitement would have the upcoming event pop in their mind somewhat frequently. If I do feel excitement its almost fleeting.
Agree with all of what you say. But would add the following perspective, that I’ve learned after a lifetime of focusing solely on my own action and how I show up: unless everyone else does the same, we are fucked. And hence, we are currently getting fucked. There is a balance between individual responsibility and societal/ systematic responsibilities. Opportunists will take advantage everywhere they can.
Started understanding and following stoicism for 6 months now. Changed the way I perceive and react to the things happening in and around me. All that matters to me right now is my inner peace. Thanks to people like yourself who are trying to spread this way of life. God Speed to you.
This is a great video! You explained core stoic principles quite well and how useful they can be in modern life. I also loved the criticism of "tough love" approach at the end. It's not for everyone in every situation.
Its important to note that whilst stocism mainly focuses on "mastering your temper" stoic philosophers don't necessarily have a shared consensus about the concept of venting or complaining. Which is something stoicism generally gets criticized for. Aurelius for example, seems to be taking a more quantifying approach. He believes that getting into petty arguments or complaints is a waste of time and detracts from our actual goals. However, he acknowledges a point made by his step father "Antoninus" who was known to be in touch with his emotions that crying is okay because it means you're human. So whilst some stoic philosophers may have argued that one shouldn't complain. Stoicism in and of itself never explicitly or unambiguously states that emotion's should be suppressed.
I love the stoic fundamentals, and I have found tremendous value in the perspective that practicing stoicism gave me. That said, I think it best to always remember that moderation should be applied even to stoicism.
My problem with Stoicism is this divide between things you can control and things you can't. But there's a third divide: things you can influence. Which amounts to a lot. A knew a guy who was a Stoic and he would allow people -- including his girlfriend -- to walk all over him, be rude, disrespectful etc. I asked why do you take it? And he said, as though it were great wisdom, that other people's actions were out of his circle of control. True. But you can influence them. If you confront a disrespectful person directly, you may change that behaviour toward you.
Wrong on both sides: when it comes to relations with people you can't control them, they're external. You can't change their character. All you can do is setting boundaries which includes leaving if your boundaries are still getting crossed. So he was wrong for staying: stoicism isn't about searching for suffering, it's about accepting suffering while making changes in your circumstances to make your life better (or lives of others). He didn't have to endure bad behavior of someone. You don't have to sit on the burning chair but if there's no way to get out: well, at least it's warm and you lived a good life. He had a way out.
I have a meta-problem with stoicism: I sometimes can't tell whether something is in my control or not. For example, I want to start using my time in a more meaningful way. But I lack self-discipline and I always fall to my old habits. Is changing my lifestyle something in my control? I sometimes feel it is not. I lack the basic human power to just do stuff. Same with my social life. I'm rather lonely. And I don't know if that's in my control or not. And that uncertainty just invalidates everything for me. I don't know what I know.
I can relate to both issues, and I think stoicism might at least have a part of the answer. It would be a mistake to categorize everything into things you can control and things you can't, when the latter group often includes things that you could potentially control but currently don't. You mentioned that you'd want to use your time in a more meaningful way, but from thinking about the meaningful things you'd want to spend your time on, to actually following through with those things, there's something in the middle, and that's getting motivated, which is something that you can control to some extent, provided that you also know how your own motivation works, and that's something that's highly individual that you can discover either by yourself or with the help of a therapist. For me, it involved thinking about the times when I did get motivated enough for something meaningful that I wanted to do, figuring out the sources of internal and external motivation that were present and the ones that weren't, and contrasting with the ones that I have and don't have now for the things that I want to do now. As for your social life, that's something that has no easy answers, but a good place to start might be to think of the thought processes and feelings that are preventing you from socializing more, and work on those, either by yourself of with the help of a therapist. In my own case, a lot of the problem had to do with being too bound by my comfort zone (which is highly solitary), so I had to: 1) learn and confront the feelings that keep me in my comfort zone, and 2) discover new habits and interests that I could enjoy and integrate into my lifestyle that can put me in closer proximity to other people, so I took up swimming and weight training. Obviously, the source of your problem and the solution may vary.
I think the solution is to develop awareness and find what works. With control we have the decision to choose and that's why mindfulness can be so helpful, it alerts us to this phenomenon. So far I think what's in our control is what we are aware of. Only awareness gives you the chance to decide. Habits can be so ingrained in our mind and body, that we lose that chance. In your case, struggling with self-discipline may not be a choice, it's a habit you need to become aware of every single time. Aware of what prevents and helps you. Perspective taking, meditation and values can guide new actions. These above are choices, you can choose to develop awareness in order to change. This is also a note for myself too lol
I recommend you to read the book. I had this problem as well. In my opinion self-discipline comes from perspective. Ask yourself what you really care about, or why exactly you 'want to spend your time in a more meaningful way'. Just keep asking why over and over to try to reach deeper into the things you truly care about. You want to have a very tangible answer as to why you want what you want (I'm talking about goals). As an example, literally wanting to "spend your time more meaningfully" is super abstract and really doesn't mean anything. I'm sure you have a deeper reason - just an example. The point of this is that then, you have a clear goal in your mind and a very clear reason you can say you care about this goal. Then, at every point in your day, you realise you have a choice - to work towards your goal, or to do something else. It's not a matter of working towards your goal Vs not, it's a matter of the goal Vs something else. So you ask yourself: what am I going to do with my time instead? Is it going to make me happier? What am I going to get out of it? What if I spent my time working towards my goals? How would that make me feel? What will I get out of it? And typically you'll find it will just naturally make sense to do the work. This process is a lot easier if you have the answers to your goal beforehand
It is in your control because the way you act changes the formation of your brain cause the brain can adapt himself in so many ways, so if you get yourself and do "the hard thing" after x days you'll see how easier it is to do that thing, it's about consistency doesn't matter if the first days are hard or you give up after not long, it's about keeping doing it and improving it day by day
Also you can be more sociable talk to more people etc. BUT you cant control the way they will behave or if they are gonna be ur friends. It's important. So at the end most of the time in things there are things which u can control but others not, you cant control how friends you have or how good your friends are, but you can change friends if they're not good/change the way you approach to people so to POTENTIALLY "get" more friends.
The best advice Seneca gave in his letters is one of utmost emphasis on acknowledging the storm inside that you feel in moments that test you: "Do not despair without hope, nor hope without despair." Reminds me that no matter how stalwart the guiding principles or mindset a man might have, it's important to recognize that there will be times that you might waver. And it's alright, it's the time when we have the opportunity to improve.
So happy to see more people learning about stoicism lately! I’ve followed you a while, and I think focusing on various philosophical ideologies could really compliment the type of content you produce. As a suggestion, looking into other things like nihilism, Confucism, Taoism, etc would be interesting.
Theres been college studies on stoicism with 78% success rate at improving the peoples lives who practiced it. The number may be off but ive been practicing stoicism for sometime didnt realize it existed till recently but it all fits the nature of how i interact with my surroundings and the world itself. Its only been good ✨️ lots of struggle but thats part of the process 😊
My partner is a clinical mental health therapist as well. We keep a common place book like Seneca. We utilize a few things from stoicism, but I find more eastern thought like Zen Taoism helped us much more that stoicism. Stoicism didn't help me personally at all but it did help me write more. A friend of mine just got into stoicism though and I think it's going to help him quite a bit in his life so I'm excited for him. I'll probably show him this video so he will have some more content that's easy to consume and not just Marcus's Meditations.
Just wanna say I bought a book about Stoicism (Stoicism and the Art of Happiness) after watching this video and it's genuinely been life-changing! It's helping to fill a void I've been feeling stuck in the last few years, connecting some dots I've felt were missing with modern secular mindfulness etc. so thanks so much for the video Dr. Ana 🙏
Just for interest sake, in case you want to read some more, the art of happiness isn't actually stoicism. It's a school of philosophy called epicureanism, founded by epicurus. There are many overlaps and good things to learn but some large differences in the fundamental principles. Some view them as opposing, but Seneca, a famous stoic philosopher, quotes epicurus very often
I just recently started following but I’ve been gleaning purpose from science, philosophy, and spiritual concepts for quite sometime. It’s interesting to note that in the wisdom literature of the ancient near east they describe wisdom(Sophia) as a virtuous women. My aunt is a professor of philosophy and she studied Aristotle, middle eastern and women studies. She said we need to incorporate both logic and emotion into our daily practice. I call my personal practice the daily discipline. Thank you and I really appreciate your content. I was just reading further this morning and the universe has manifested this video lol
Excellent video. Covered all the bases of stoicism, and I think did a great job of pointing out characteristics of our society that would really benefit from embracing some of these stoicism tenets
Stoicism is not only a practical philosophy, but its also a metaphysical one that teaches a great deal about the oneness of the universe. Stoic thinkers were Roman polytheists who believed that the universe is all a part of the Gods and that aligning one's self to the universe, accepting what is beyond our control and focusing on what is within our control, means literally harmonizing our souls with the divine, and that's something I think is even more helpful to people of the religious persuasion as well.
FANTASTIC topic idea. i was actually just thinking this and recently started watching Adrian Thorn (i think thats her name). Thanks Ana for always looking for us and keeping us informed
Awesome video! While I've never looked for a label for my current beliefs, this really closely aligns with me. Makes sense since I journal and do DBT. So much easier to live in the current day and know what I can and can't change. When someone wrongs me, I tend to empathize rather than take it personally as I believe all people act rationally based on what led up to an event, even if it appears irrational to me. I avoid avoiding (thoughts, issues) in an attempt to be fully myself in my mind and with others. Excited for the next video!
Ana, I found your channel one day while scrolling and it was one of your first few videos, i have been an avid follower eversince, seeing your channel grow and you as well makes my heart full. I try to follow stoic principles in my life, and seeing you talking about it just makes me realize why i was so drawn to you in the first place. You have a calm, knowing aura that is very mesmerizing, and one that i try to incorporate into myself as well. Keep up the good work!
7:07 ❤ 8:48 9:09 18:30 23:10 24:49 take responsibility for our actions while we work towards something that is less painful for us Hold yourself accountable above everyone else
This is a great break down, thanks for the side by side comparisons to psych concepts. really helps with sloshing thinking and seeing what core concepts they are ment to work on!
I'm autistic and face many things every day that cause me stress and discomfort. Because of this condition, I'm prone to get distraught over trivial things that disrupt my routine and people who just don't make sense for me. Needless to say, it's a life filled with anxiety. Especially the pandemic took its toll on me. That's when I started to practice stoicism. I didn't want to run away from difficulties because I knew I couldn't avoid them. But I didn't want them to overwhelm me to the point where I can't act properly. I still have a long way to go, but after training for 3 years, my life has improved a lot. Being mindful and learning healthy self-control and self-reliance reduced my anxieties a lot and I became much more patient and unaffected by things that bothered me before. Stoicism certainly improves mental health. Of course, it's no miracle cure for everything, but helps to slow yourself down in a hectic time where people are letting their emotions get the better of themselves
Great video! for first time I was able to watch through a 30 min long video entirely. You discuss on “nurturing” approach based therapy as well and yes I would like to see a video on stoic exercises too.
Excellent work. I really enjoy how much you're able to view it from different perspectives. My application of stoicism through a lot of physical and mental training saved me from becoming a bitter, resentful, disrespectful individual. I will eternally be grateful for my own ability to be introspective, which I didn't have when I was younger.
Thank you for the great video. Stoicism is helping me significantly with my mental health, but I also have done some research on the ancient Chinese philosophy of Taoism which has also allowed me to see the world from a different perspective. I think that for this community and for you, a similar video on Taoism would be very interesting.
I've been down through similar paths. Tao and Zen Buddhism, so abstract and concrete at the same time, so incomprehensible. I also would like she to make a video on it, but she must first "get it", which in itself demands an exclusive type of attention.
i really enjoyed this video! watching it i realized that a lot of aspects of stoicism can directly alleviate a lot of the issues i face day to day (my own mindset!). would love to see the follow up video you mentioned at the end !!!
Hey Ana! I usually don't comment on UA-cam videos but I love your channel and seeing you doing a video on stoicism really made my day! I'm a stoic for quite a while now. I discovered it through CBT and it really helped me become a more resilient version of myself. Thank you for the input and keep up the great work. Your videos are full of wisdom and great advice. Best wishes from Germany! :)
totally unrelated, but I love that you got a good microphone! The audio is so much better now, it really enhances the quality of your amazing video's! I always enjoy your content, thank you
I realized that i was following stoicism my whole life when we had our first philosophy course in university. I grew up in the most criminal city of Russia, in the shared appartment with drug addicts, alchoholics and thievs. I saw so many dead people, ped*philles and tragedies in my childhood, my environment was never stable, predictable or controllable. I guess accepting that i can't control everything and that i just have to do anything i can even if it's something small every day in order to get out and improve my living was a way for me to protect fragile kid's mind. It helped me a lot and i truly believe that it played a role of foundation which helped me to achieve academic success and to get master's degree with honors.
I've noticed people tend to describe someone as "stoic" in a way that seems almost like a backhanded compliment. Like a mild and less offensive way to describe someone as cold, dismissive and out of touch with their feelings. Seems to even be associated with negative connotations like the "oldschool" not believing in mental illness, condoning physically punishing kids, and a "that's just how things are" attitude in the face of discrimination or other injustices. But I personally find that stoicism and by extension radical acceptance are realistic, positive and focused on solutions. It's so interesting that therapy 10+ years ago seemed to have a huge emphasis on not being a hard-ass, letting yourself feel despair, being honest about how things just suck sometimes and how sad/helpless etc you feel. Venting, complaining and accepting that being unhappy for a long period of time is a chemical imbalance that requires medication to fix. Now it's gone in the opposite direction back to like a "stoicism rebrand" with these new wave therapies that seem like common sense to me as someone who started off stoic and was conditioned to be a bit "softer with myself" by psychology. I kinda feel a bit ripped off that stoicism felt pretty discouraged in favor of ditching "tough love" and pivoting toward "how does that honestly make you feel though? No buts, because that's invalidating your own experience of the situation." I wonder if it'll level out again or whether the pendulum will go back over to "accept that you're helpless and stop trying to fix everything "
A mix of Stoicism (especially during hardships) and Epicureanism (to make room for and enjoy the little moments of happiness) is developing into a practical philosophy that works well for me on the day to day. Wisdom and (physical) practices from Buddhism and Taoism are also nice to sprinkle in. They're all very different ways of interpreting life from my (rather guilt/shame-based) Christian/Catholic upbringing, but they are also ironically helping me reconnect with my Catholic spirituality (mostly morality through good works not the god part)! Thank you for the great video and explanations. There's a book I read a few years ago called "Stoicism and the Art of Happiness" that explores the link between the philosophy and CBT for anyone interested as well.
Been watching your content for a while. I find it refreshing when people can admit to changing their opinions and mindsets, and calling themselves out in this day in age. Love the video and your explanations! 🙌
As a person at stage four out of twelve stages complete in my life; trust me I do these little diagrams about myself and much more; I believe in the solar system
Hey Ana, what an awesome topic this is to cover! Before I will watch the rest of the vid, I'll tell you that I used to be a pretty negative person. Like annoyingly negative to some degree. I would say that I was just being realistic, self defence I guess? Then I came upon Marcus Aurelius' wisdoms, and I felt like I would love to see myself become a stoic of some sort. So ever since I will try to not include my emotion as much, and try to be as objective as can be. This has helped me stop silently judging people I see on the street for instance, because I keep asking myself "does it really matter if xxxx? Does it actually affect you?", and obviously the answer is generally no. I feel like it had changed my personality a bit, even at an older age. I love it. I feel less negative, I act less negative. The next step for me is to use this during actual conversation where you do not have the time to reflect as quickly as you do when you're not engaged with something or someone. What I will also say is that I do not strive to become a complete stoic. I have an amazing partner, and it would be such a shame if I weren't able to include any emotion in our situation anymore. Albeit, it shouldn't cloud our judgement, but feeling emotions is also what makes us human, and I have no interest in becoming a robot but not acknowledging emotion or using it in my life.
I loved this so much! Amazing video! I totally agree with everything you said especially the parts about how people assuming the worse in others and how people give too much energy to events outside their control i.e. being too easily upset by others. It's amazing to me how so many people don't seem to realize this yet and this video will hopefully change that.
Loved the connection between Stoicism and modern therapy. The principles that you've shared about Stoicism also had very strong connections with the book 'The Power of Now' - Eckhart Tolle. Would recommend people have a read if they're looking for mental models that can be easily applied to everyday life which also shares underlying principles within Stoicism.
Wow this video blew my mind. What is such a coincidence is earlier today I randomly clicked on an article about “10 of the best books to read” and Vickor Frankl’s book popped up and I found your video today and wow wow wow. This is exactly what I needed especially during this time. I’m excited to learn more and see life as a Stoic. Thank you for this amazing video. Everything was very well explained. And I’m going to go buy that book! And I’m starting therapy in two weeks. 😊
The stoic approach towards lemons of life, shifts my perception how to discern adversities as part of daily story through out remaining decades of my lifetime. It's like embracing fate, without being harsh on what's serve to my table. In addition, the way I acknowledge present moments is filled with empathy and reason; understanding by creating questions i.e., Why this happen? What are the external factors included for this matter? What are the emotions prompt while experiencing this moment? How should I feel after? By mapping reason through mindfulness by Marcus Aurelius from his book Meditation. It serves as a tool to approach an equation without letting emotions maneuver the rationale, and execute empathy to redirect the path before it astray. Ultimately, from what I can extrapolate for practicing daily stoic, myself is deeply rooted to this mantra. Ang taong hindi takot na mamatay, ay sapat ng nabuhay. Which translates to: The person who is not afraid to die, has lived enough.
“If all we know is comfort, we might be traumatized when we are forced to experience pain or discomfort, as we someday almost surely will. In other words, voluntary discomfort can be thought of as a kind of vaccine: By exposing ourselves to a small amount of a weakened virus now, we create in ourselves an immunity that will protect us from a debilitating illness in the future.”
it sounds like it would work but in my experience, you need to do a lot more than just subject yourself to intentional discomfort, it can definitely help but by no means will it solve the problem
@@netcoded well I'm all ears lol I can you tell me a few you found helpful for yourself?
It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything. Tyler Durden
@@netcoded What are the answers oh wise one?
@Hussein Hisham "If you died right noe how would you feel about your life?" "I don't know I wouldn't feel anything good about my life"
As a person who's been applying stoicism everyday for a few years, the most life-changing advice was that "stoicism is not about ignoring your discomfort, it is about not having the discomfort to ignore in the first place".
Fantastic quote. Thank you
I don’t get it
@@KERI404 Instead of focusing on ignoring that you're upset because it's raining, you should focus on not being upset in the first place
@@Luluki95I’ve been doing it wrong the whole time you just saved me thank you 😅
you will always have discomfort, that is a fact of life. but there is a subtle difference between ignoring and accepting
I think what works for me is not thinking that "others are having it worse" but more so that "things could be worse than now but it's not". This way, I'm not comparing my situation to other people, rather I'm comparing the situation to a worse situation.
Yeah I think it’s really sad to use other people’s pain to make ourselves feel better. There is actually a person out there who is in the worst pain imaginable, and it doesn’t feel right that I should be happy I’m not them.
@@wendys9500 yes exactly. It just seems insensitive to compare yourself to a person who is having it worse.
That's a great approach!!
Thanks
@@wendys9500 PERFECTLY SAID!! I always felt icky about the ''you should be grateful, some people have it worse'' attitude, because to me it feels like I have to feel superior over less fortunate people and I don't want to.
Stoicism changed my life. I used to be severely emotional and reactive to life and was such a victim to circumstance and the environment around me, and one day it occurred to me that the only way to move on positively in life was to take control of my emotions, become more humble and view my life through an objective lens. At that point stoicism was instrumental in providing a framework that made sense to me, absolutely greater than any therapy I’ve ever done in my life. I studied it and it just clicked and it’s made me a better and happier individual.
glad to hear that dude, would you mind giving me some book recommendations or any other source of information that you found particularly helpful?
@@rlx5000Read ‘Meditations’ by Marcus Aurelius
Same
Stoicism helped me get over my breakup back in 2019, it was one of the most helpful philosophies to help me realize that I wanted to improve myself instead of wallowing away in my feelings forever. With moderation and approach, it is life changing because it shifted my perspectives on everything. Sucks that some people have used it for the hyper masculinity stuff and made it manly or whatever, it's a philosophy, it doesn't have to become a modernized capitalist lifestyle
I'm glad it helped You to power through the trying situation that You mentioned.
As to some folks adopting Stoicism as some sort of grounds to justify their unjust behavior: Uhm, that's a misappropriation of the philosophy, pure and simple. Stoicism does not support any sort of gratuitous aggression or predation, be it within a physical or business/economic context. At root, Stoicism is a Moral Philosophy. In fact, it's Hyper-Moral ... at least, by my read of it. But that may seem hyper-aggressive when a true Stoic has determined that it is his/her duty to neutralize a malevolent agent ... with extreme prejudice if, and only if, necessary.
That's my understanding of the code. Whether that is or is not the true Stoic way, it is my way.
I'm not out to save the World. But, anyone who maliciously harms my Daughter gets his head mailed to his mommy in a box. If that sounds hyper-masculine, then so be it.
Excellent Comment!
Best to You and Yours,
~TD, Boston
I kinda followed the hyper masculinity stuff a bit and later on it just seemed like ppl were making it a bigger deal than what it actually is and devolved into idolizing these ways of thought or the ppl who preach it
I started embracing stoicism when I saw a lot of UA-cam Shorts with Chads taking cold baths😂
It is a hyper masculine philosophy lol. Hyper masculinity isn't bad when it is good masculinity.
@@evan7391 Wrong in todays world any form of masculinity must be shunned!
I didn’t realize that I was a “natural” stoic until a lot of people in my life wanted me around them which made me question them why they wanted me around and they would all say “you give off a calm presence” and even my parents say “you’re our rock that keeps us steady,” which at first surprised me because I would do alot of self reflection and find myself very emotional on the inside. It wasn’t until I read about stoicism that I already practice some of the things that they talked about but I still want to work on myself with this practice.
can you give exmaples of the things u are "practicing"?
@@JAKE-ng8yr Watching sad anime
living with aspergers really made this the default for me
I was told the exact same thing by my friends and by my parents!
As a buddhist myself i can tell that theres a lot of similiarities between stoicism, mindfulness meditation and buddhist teachings that i apply or try every single day of my life, its so enriching
I thought so too! Especially the middle way and that there is both good and evils
they refer to same problems but solve them differently even though sometimes solution overlaps
I was just going to say these same things! ^
stoicism does take inspiration from buddhist ideas
@@anaochoa No one said it did. They just have similarities, namely acceptance of how things really are and the transience of all things
I have lived through many hardships using this perspective, just found out some years ago it is called stoicism. It was engrained in me by my grandma, the value of sacrifice, the value of discipline and acceptance.
Not to sound cheesy, Stoicism absolutely changed my life. I read just one paragraph every morning, and it sets the tone for the day. Cannot recommend it enough.
a paragraph of what
@@anaochoa He is probably referring to The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday.
The connection between the stoics and modern therapy is even deeper. Albert Ellis, the founder of the first cognitive therapy approach REBT, often said he was directly inspired by Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius
As someone with a mindfulness Stoicism channel, I feel like you did a great job explaining the main concepts and practices of Stoicism. Well done.
As a budist, I think soticism and budism have many values in common, do you agree?
@@nandomax3 I definitely agree there is a lot of overlap between the two philosophies. Non-attachment is strongly emphasized in both.
Name checks out.
@@nandomax3 They are cousin thinking systems. They come from somewhat different roots ending in roughly the same message.
@@themagiccookie2614 Not really, they are vastly different and although stoicism can be considered a system of thought, buddhism definitely isn't.
while i think the ideology is a net postive. i find young people online having a little bit of a misunderstanding of what it means to be stoic. they have morphed it into "Broicism". instead of allowing themselves to feel the full emotions when something happens to them; they try to be numb and not feel anything. what it means to me to be stoic is to be able to ride the ups and the downs and know that it will end.
I agree. But the stoicism you describe is still pretty dude bro.
💯
Where does it say that’s what Stoicism is about? The Stoics believed there are “good” (or “proper”) and “bad” (or “improper”) emotions. The goal of Stoicism is to have only “good” emotions and eliminate “bad” emotions.
I remember when my ex gf punch me 3 times and I stay calm AND NUMB cuz I learn stoicism before
And know I heard she end up in prison cuz domestic violence
KARMA IS REAL
@@azriel1668this is why I don't like Stoicism. It opens people up to abuse.
Thank you for your video.
Being fairly stoic, one thing I have difficulties with is: when you are your own arbiter, it's hard to judge what is and isn't outside your control. Framing systemic issues like that lessens suffering, but the drive to work for change despite stacked odds and failure requires undertaking some personal responsibility, so it seems best to believe opposing ideas simultaneously...
And when people whom you've treated kindly treat you poorly, it seems a refutaton of fairness/justice: if others still do by well by being disrespectful, why be kind? (The rebuttal being that maybe they don't, and that the positive effects of being kind are hard to see but are real.) And that being kind is its own blessing or whatever.
Still, Stoicism feels so intuitive: life is hard; "it do be that way sometimes"; work hard and chill out.
The problem you stated is kinda touched in Marcus Aurelius work. Other people are external factors, you can't control them hence why you just have to accept the way it is and change your approach to them. You have to understand that they're rude or agressive because of their own character that you can't change, all you can do is to not let them bring you down to their level, stay polite (not kind necessarily) and remove yourself from the situation if possible.
Something I use for acceptance is saying “this is my story and I’m sticking to it”. I accept that this happened in my life, it made me feel certain way. (It helps with self validation, something I used to struggle with). It helps with acceptance. After that, I think “I get the life I want”. So after accepting, I look for whatever’s out there that I can choose and I can control to get it without invalidating myself. I feel pain, but I don’t suffer (the popular “pain is inevitable, suffering is optional”). It has helped me with emotional regulation and self-esteem: I am not a victim of life, I’m the protagonist of it… this is just my story, and there are setting, but I have the power to control my actions even if I was not able to see that power before.
The only problem i have with it is it's post-modern interpertation of it; i often see people use it's doctrine as a scapegoat to not put effort or slack on noble and important matters, or use it as a quick "to go" answer for things they can't justify, people like the part of stoicism that gives you tranquility and peace, but not the aspect to stay honest & indomitable.
Yes, I think you're right. It periodically regains popularity as an idea, but it doesn't last....
I have some thoughts to add about the locus of control. Sometimes people talk about systematic issues as if they are completely out of our control, and therefore it's better to focus on our individual lives that we can control. To me this sounds like a very black and white way of looking at it. We do have some level of power in changing the systems that are making so many people so unhappy. We can organize, unionize, vote and so much more. The only catch is no one person can change everything by themselves. It takes a collective effort, and sometimes other people will chose to be indifferent or work against our efforts, and we can't control the actions of those people. It also takes a lot more time and patience, kind of like the saying: "if you want to go fast go alone, and if you want to go far go together". Personally I'm trying to accept that things are the way they are at this moment in time while still doing my part to fight for a better future.
Yes!! For instance with global warming it happens to me that I try doing something about it, I know it’s not under my control to revert it by myself, I can’t do that. But I can take actions that align to my values, I can raise awareness, maybe those others raise awareness to and we all make a change… or maybe not, but I know that I did what was under my control to make a change and live according to my values. :)
I think stoicism works logically and it makes a lot of sense and can strengthen a person who is already in a safe and healthy environment.
I think stoicism doesn’t work well for our nervous system or emotional side of the brain. I don’t mean it doesn’t offer helpful tools and mindsets to calm those sides of you, but I mean that the brain just needs certain things whether you have a good outlook or not.
It doesn’t matter if you fully understand that you deserve love and that your worth love. If no one around you is loving you how you want, you’re going to be suffering. We’re human. Stoicism might help you bare that pain, but it won’t help you feel less of it.
Also, tbh, a good community and a happy life for long periods of time makes harsher periods WAYYY easier to deal with. There’s this idea that a hard life makes you strong… in reality, a healthy life is what makes you strong, and that often includes a lot of happiness and ease. And with that, you can traverse hardships with that strong foundation.
The human brain was made to handle the world it was born in. Providing it with support and health will make things easier to deal with. Forcing it into strength simply won’t work. And I don’t think stoicism inherently does that or anything, but I find a lot of people use it in that way and avoid the real issues.
I’m personally pretty stoic, but sometimes, it just doesn’t help emotionally
this is so true :0
100% stoicism requires a regulated nervous system for sure
I feel like, if no one around you is loving you, you will be suffering but stoicism could lessen the suffering or even take you past the suffering since for a lot of time of distress, what you tell yourself really matters.
Im not so sure having a "happy life for long periods of time" will make the harsher periods easier to deal with. The harsh period will be a harsh period and since we tend to focus on the negative and if we only focus on the negatives without support from a stoic mindset, i'm not sure if there will be any difference.
A healthy life does make you stronger but if you don't have the mental capacity to cope with hardships, is that really considered a healthy life?
I agree with the bit of people maybe using stoicism as a well to avoid the real issues but i'd argue that it's really just a tool and these people are not using the tool correctly so it's not really the tools fault but rather the person using it. What we want is to use multiple 'good' tools together and correctly.
@23:45 I think we tend to focus on things that are out of our control (especially things like familial/generational trauma, as mentioned in that comment) because they impede us from achieving our goals on a very fundamental level. If you are living with a family member who’s dealing with addiction, it takes away so much of your energy to deal with their actions and choices on a daily basis, it’s like you’re constantly waiting for an impending doom.
Dealing with CPTSD is another example, where your cognitive abilities are so impaired, you’re barely able to make right choices for yourself (cause of being in survival mode) let alone think about what is in and out of your control.
Not focusing on what is out of our control can definitely help us, but it’s just incredibly hard and it takes a lot of internal work to achieve a stoic mindset. There is a lot of nuance involved in these situations.
This was a great video, thoroughly enjoyed it! :)
When I first started reading about Stoicism, I never thought it would be THIS relatable for me. I’ve literally built my personality based on stoic ideas and especially after getting interested in stoicism and philosophy as a whole that “character building” became soo stable and full of motivation. I feel really peaceful.
what books or steps do you recommend lol
Stoicism is something that i can only achieve by daydreaming. When reality hits, i can’t help myself but to hit it back way harder than the last time almost immediately no question asked. You’re right that it’s not applicable to all human and but i agree that this is the best we can do to ourselves. Love your video, this is a great feast for my mind thank you.
I've been a stoic since 2016 and let me tell you - its life changing and liberating. You have so many good points in this video Anna! Very well done!
I also have a problem with journaling.
Whenever I have free time to think about my life I just get depressed at my failures as a human. Everything was fine when I wasn't aware of my faults. Ignorance was bliss.
I kinda stopped journaling because of that very reason. It was just dragging me down.
I'm the exact same way. Every journaling exercise devolves into a documentation of basically every reason I should just kms instead of journalling lol
Believe me or not, i overcome that phrase with more jounaling. Now whenever i reread my old entries, i kinda feel proud that i had those thoughts so early. I feel that i'm quite mature and reflective in a sense. Anyways, now i'm talking existential to the AI (or maybe "trauma dumping"), it's taking pretty great, i found it a little more helpful than writing with my mind only
Yeah but when you realize you're at fault, that just means you have control. And if you have control then that means it can be changed. I love finding out when something is my fault because I just think 'finally something I can do something about'
Start daydreaming your future life after journaling ❤
I've been stoic for the last 5 years and its the best decision i've made in my life. Good to know it gets this much traction these days because i believe its the only way to cope with life in these times.
Stoicism and Confucianism helped me so much to put my act together and mature. Back in the day I was very emotional, very immature, very unrealistic. I expected other people to be nice to me, to solve my problems, to keep me safe and never hurt me. Those expectations really hurt me, I was always unhappy, bitchy, I always envied others whom I deemed better, lucky because they were beautiful, had friends, opportunities. I was a miserable self loading mess.
But adapting some stoic teachings into my daily routine, checking my emotions, thinking outside of my eco chamber, giving up on the victim mentality, being objective, focusing on what I can do to make the situation favorable for myself, giving on the idea that other people are the key to my happiness and stability. Those things helped me develop and break some circles of toxic behavior that kept me stuck in misery.
I've just began my stoic journey about a month ago, I journal daily and have read Marcus Aurelis' meditations. You can literally apply stoicism in real time with just about anything. I have been very pleased with what I've learned/my growth so far. Great vid!
thank you for this! I’ve always loved the saying ‘memento mori’, it actually brings me comfort and peace and makes my problems feel tiny and manageable in the grand scheme. It’s also nice because my mother passed away of cancer in less than a few months and I’m in my early twenties completely lost but it gives me courage to live my life with less fear because I could also die at any time and that there is no guarantee to life.
I got into stoicism at around the same time i found your channel. And today you are doing a video on this. I love how you are taking something ancient and modern and finding that link. Love it
"Let tears flow of their own accord; their flowing is not inconsistent with inward peace and harmony." - Seneca
I was so excited for this video!! Some of my favorite books from the stoic realm are "meditations" by Marcus Aurelius and "on the shortness of life" by Seneca. I've also learned that people are either going to seek to understand you, or intentionally misunderstand you because of preconceptions some individuals can have. So if you wanted to do shorts, I 100% support you in what is most important for you to make!
Appears You've witnessed some Confirmation Bias. Top-Down thinking for those who are too uncomfortable with the possibility that their prejudices may be unfounded.
So glad you brought up philosophy...these are universal problems that have plagued ALL humankind in all times...our problems FEEL unique and special to us, but that is mere vanity. And there is no measuring adversity, whether yours is better or worse than mine...the history of humans is long. While WE may think that the Holocaust was the worse thing to befall humans in the history of mankind, how about Stalins much higher number of ethnic cleansing and murders...it is a conceit ...trying to decide whose suffering is or has been the worst.any individual any group.Which evil is more evil?... a pointless task.
Amor Fati. I like the idea of drawing concentric circles with the inner circle containing things you can control, and the outer circle with the things you can't control. Really puts into perspective even the idea that while acceptance should be a mainstay, in actuality you may have more agency than you think in using the inner circle to influence indirectly the things you can't control.
Can you influence the borders of the inner circle? I've come to find that acceptance is not completely the same as agreement or especially obedience/submission. I think some stoics overreach implying acceptance is anything more than recognizing the current reality for what it is, so that you may be able to form it to what it can be. Joining a group of common cause is one way to challenge the individualistic model of control we sometimes fall into and showing how those borders are not so well defined between the spheres of influence.
@@celphdfined9298 You put it so well. I don't really mess with concepts similar to stoicism because sometime those or rather some people practicing those are kind of egocentric and don't have the bigger picture in mind which ultimately includes social justice and serving the community. It often looks like we can only control ourselves and our own actions but there is no action which doesn't also affect others and it's important to keep that in mind and to use it to everyone's benefit not just yours.
@@Shirumoon Absolutely, although I am convinced that it is impossible to maintain groups and social justice without encouraging individual responsibility at the same time. Freedom and social justice requires both individual responsibility and collective responsibility. If one cannot maintain the self or be as responsible and as disciplined as one can be, then it is very difficult to be responsible as a group.
Interestingly enough the author of this phrase is Nitsche (or how his name spelled in English) who was a nihilist. But fits perfectly with stoicism, I agree.
I used to be under the impression that stoicism was about repressing/ignoring your feelings (which I believe is a common misconception) since I was told it was about minimizing negative feelings and enduring events with indifference, and I thought this could go down a pretty toxic path. However, the way you described stoicism was really insightful; where stoicism is about uplifting your life and giving it perspective. I learned a lot; this was a great video to watch.
Same. Although I think *seeming* indifferent is a biproduct of stoicism that comes with the shift in perspective.
I can see how it got that reputation.
I cant express enough how much i love watching your videos and how you're always nailing your explanations and presenting your research in a brilliant way. You've got a way with words that almost seems perfect.
I was having a very tough day trying to navigate feelings of resistance to a situation but watching this calmed me down enormously and put a lot of things back into perspective
Thank you for making these videos Ana, i wish you all great and lovely things
This meant so much to hear💓
@@AnaPsychologybut you didn’t hear it though, you read it.
@@jasontater Thank you, for revealing yourself to be a goofball Jason tater 🙏
@@markmessi9020 and how exactly am I a goofball for stating a fact?
@@AnaPsychologyI think alot of things you've Said in this video are easier said than done
It is absolutely is good for people’s mental health, once properly understood. Don’t catastrophize. Don’t desire what is beyond your control and expect to never get upset from time to time.
My middle school teacher who was a close friend and father figure called me stoic. It wasn’t until much later when I read “Meditations” that I really identified with it. I admire stoicism, and it’s gotten me thru hardships in life and work. It matured me.
0:22 My most meaningful "epiphany" so far is looking at mindfulness through the lens of a specific philosophy and also Buddhism. There's a lot to unpack in this; it's like a massive revelation to find meaning in philosophy and science for things I did my whole life! It's so cool hearing you discover stoicism! I can't wait to hear about it. 😊
Please don't shorten your comments solely bc you think the length of them are too long.Your thoughts can be interesting and valuable.These thoughts were-to me atleast.If you are worried about people seeing them and it being too long you could always type in paragraphs or something.Start small.Thankyou for sharing
my most meaningful epiphany was when I finally realized I was the only thing keeping myself from being happy. I had a "why me?" mentality for many years regarding every bad thing that would happen to me and the many bad things that had happened to me in the past, which was a huge blockage in my journey to growth and healing. I learned to let go and accept that what happened to me happened and i can't change the past but i can surely grow from it, so then I could finally overcome my depression and suicidal ideation. i've never ever been happier!
@@spacebird107 ❤️ warm wishes!
Im glad to see a video that describes stoicism outside the unfortunate modern take people have about it, many people, specially in the "red pill" community take stoicism and costrude it with this idea of feeling no emotions, being manly and overall various toxic traits.
Almost every exercise you mentioned are ones I have done without realizing it is a part of ACT, CBT, or DBT. Also, I think I took on a stoic mindset without realizing it. I don't know how that happened I guess I just wanted to grow up not being a hypocrite and be the most resilient person possible. CBT/DBT really helped me overcome my bipolar disorder. I am ashamed to say that at one point my family used to fear me. Since I got the help I needed and realized where my anger came from I am in a much better spot now. There really is a light at the end of the tunnel.
One thing I feel like people get wrong about stoicism is that, accepting/loving “fate” doesn’t mean you don’t actively try to improve the world around you. I hear a lot of people using the “it could be worse” in a very defeatist passive way. It’s ok their political leaders get worse and worse, it’s ok their rights are eroded, it’s ok corporations take more and more power over their lives because “it could be worse”. Or they wallow in stagnation because life is cyclical after all, so it’s ok that our capitalist system has recession/depression built in because there has to be downs to ups right? So why try any different system? 🤮
for a long time I have neglected stoicism because of this very notion: I was and still kinda am very traumatized politically and socially and thought that stoicism would just be a way of subjecting myself to the oppression that we all feel. little by little I am trying to deconstruct this to a feeling of acceptance, but righteous and assertive action towards a meaningful good, and using stoicism as a technique to understand the scenario, not necessarily to act on it. am I missing something here?
it is your socialist system, but try more commie
It really could be worse tho ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@user-ye3sr9lp6l Fallacy of relative privation
womp womp
This is an interesting topic for me to listen to others talk about. I sometimes feel like I have a bad habit of just responding to situations purely emotionally whether that be through anger, sadness, annoyance, etc, without giving much rational thought to things until after the fact. I sometimes feel like I need to practice being more stoic because sometimes I just don’t have a sound understanding of my feelings on a given situation.
Discovering Stoicism this year has been immensely beneficial for me. I can't emphasize enough how much it has positively impacted my life. Despite common misconceptions that being Stoic implies a demeanor of seriousness and detachment from the world, my interpretation is quite different. To me, it's about embracing authenticity, cherishing the concept of fate, cultivating gratitude, and pursuing continual learning.
Stoicism, for me, is an approach that encourages viewing life's challenges as enigmatic adventures or opportunities to grow. It's not about suppressing emotions but rather understanding and managing them. Self-awareness plays a pivotal role, allowing a deeper understanding of personal emotions and feelings. Moreover, it's a constant reminder to practice self-love and acknowledgment that in life, certain aspects remain within our control, while others do not.
Marcus Aurelius' Meditations continue to have a huge impact on my rationale & mindset. Stoicism gave me perspective & some space to breathe during trying times in my life
Acceptance is one of the best things I’ve ever practiced in my life. It has helped me be happier
I had only considered myself emotionally stoic but seems I have naturally adopted an stoic mindset in general. I feel as though I am in a good state mentally but an issue i think I have is a struggle to feel excitement, especially impending exciting.
Do you think it could be that you're protecting yourself from these feelings (or perhaps expressing them) because of a fear of vulnerability?
@@theeternalgus9119 I don't think so, even when something which should be exciting is coming up its not on my mind until it needs to be while I think those who would feel impending excitement would have the upcoming event pop in their mind somewhat frequently. If I do feel excitement its almost fleeting.
Agree with all of what you say. But would add the following perspective, that I’ve learned after a lifetime of focusing solely on my own action and how I show up: unless everyone else does the same, we are fucked. And hence, we are currently getting fucked. There is a balance between individual responsibility and societal/ systematic responsibilities. Opportunists will take advantage everywhere they can.
In this times is quite important philosophy and it’s amazing that you’re talking about the stoicism
Started understanding and following stoicism for 6 months now. Changed the way I perceive and react to the things happening in and around me. All that matters to me right now is my inner peace. Thanks to people like yourself who are trying to spread this way of life. God Speed to you.
This is a great video! You explained core stoic principles quite well and how useful they can be in modern life. I also loved the criticism of "tough love" approach at the end. It's not for everyone in every situation.
Its important to note that whilst stocism mainly focuses on "mastering your temper" stoic philosophers don't necessarily have a shared consensus about the concept of venting or complaining. Which is something stoicism generally gets criticized for.
Aurelius for example, seems to be taking a more quantifying approach. He believes that getting into petty arguments or complaints is a waste of time and detracts from our actual goals. However, he acknowledges a point made by his step father "Antoninus" who was known to be in touch with his emotions that crying is okay because it means you're human.
So whilst some stoic philosophers may have argued that one shouldn't complain. Stoicism in and of itself never explicitly or unambiguously states that emotion's should be suppressed.
I love the stoic fundamentals, and I have found tremendous value in the perspective that practicing stoicism gave me. That said, I think it best to always remember that moderation should be applied even to stoicism.
My problem with Stoicism is this divide between things you can control and things you can't.
But there's a third divide: things you can influence. Which amounts to a lot.
A knew a guy who was a Stoic and he would allow people -- including his girlfriend -- to walk all over him, be rude, disrespectful etc.
I asked why do you take it? And he said, as though it were great wisdom, that other people's actions were out of his circle of control.
True. But you can influence them. If you confront a disrespectful person directly, you may change that behaviour toward you.
Wrong on both sides: when it comes to relations with people you can't control them, they're external. You can't change their character. All you can do is setting boundaries which includes leaving if your boundaries are still getting crossed. So he was wrong for staying: stoicism isn't about searching for suffering, it's about accepting suffering while making changes in your circumstances to make your life better (or lives of others). He didn't have to endure bad behavior of someone. You don't have to sit on the burning chair but if there's no way to get out: well, at least it's warm and you lived a good life. He had a way out.
The ancient Stoics were fantastic intuitive psychologists.
Their insights are as relevant today as when they were first conceived.
this video really changed my outlook on my problems right now. thank you!
I have a meta-problem with stoicism:
I sometimes can't tell whether something is in my control or not. For example, I want to start using my time in a more meaningful way. But I lack self-discipline and I always fall to my old habits. Is changing my lifestyle something in my control? I sometimes feel it is not. I lack the basic human power to just do stuff.
Same with my social life. I'm rather lonely. And I don't know if that's in my control or not. And that uncertainty just invalidates everything for me. I don't know what I know.
I can relate to both issues, and I think stoicism might at least have a part of the answer. It would be a mistake to categorize everything into things you can control and things you can't, when the latter group often includes things that you could potentially control but currently don't. You mentioned that you'd want to use your time in a more meaningful way, but from thinking about the meaningful things you'd want to spend your time on, to actually following through with those things, there's something in the middle, and that's getting motivated, which is something that you can control to some extent, provided that you also know how your own motivation works, and that's something that's highly individual that you can discover either by yourself or with the help of a therapist. For me, it involved thinking about the times when I did get motivated enough for something meaningful that I wanted to do, figuring out the sources of internal and external motivation that were present and the ones that weren't, and contrasting with the ones that I have and don't have now for the things that I want to do now.
As for your social life, that's something that has no easy answers, but a good place to start might be to think of the thought processes and feelings that are preventing you from socializing more, and work on those, either by yourself of with the help of a therapist. In my own case, a lot of the problem had to do with being too bound by my comfort zone (which is highly solitary), so I had to: 1) learn and confront the feelings that keep me in my comfort zone, and 2) discover new habits and interests that I could enjoy and integrate into my lifestyle that can put me in closer proximity to other people, so I took up swimming and weight training. Obviously, the source of your problem and the solution may vary.
I think the solution is to develop awareness and find what works. With control we have the decision to choose and that's why mindfulness can be so helpful, it alerts us to this phenomenon. So far I think what's in our control is what we are aware of. Only awareness gives you the chance to decide.
Habits can be so ingrained in our mind and body, that we lose that chance. In your case, struggling with self-discipline may not be a choice, it's a habit you need to become aware of every single time. Aware of what prevents and helps you. Perspective taking, meditation and values can guide new actions. These above are choices, you can choose to develop awareness in order to change. This is also a note for myself too lol
I recommend you to read the book. I had this problem as well. In my opinion self-discipline comes from perspective.
Ask yourself what you really care about, or why exactly you 'want to spend your time in a more meaningful way'. Just keep asking why over and over to try to reach deeper into the things you truly care about. You want to have a very tangible answer as to why you want what you want (I'm talking about goals).
As an example, literally wanting to "spend your time more meaningfully" is super abstract and really doesn't mean anything. I'm sure you have a deeper reason - just an example.
The point of this is that then, you have a clear goal in your mind and a very clear reason you can say you care about this goal. Then, at every point in your day, you realise you have a choice - to work towards your goal, or to do something else. It's not a matter of working towards your goal Vs not, it's a matter of the goal Vs something else. So you ask yourself: what am I going to do with my time instead? Is it going to make me happier? What am I going to get out of it? What if I spent my time working towards my goals? How would that make me feel? What will I get out of it? And typically you'll find it will just naturally make sense to do the work. This process is a lot easier if you have the answers to your goal beforehand
It is in your control because the way you act changes the formation of your brain cause the brain can adapt himself in so many ways, so if you get yourself and do "the hard thing" after x days you'll see how easier it is to do that thing, it's about consistency doesn't matter if the first days are hard or you give up after not long, it's about keeping doing it and improving it day by day
Also you can be more sociable talk to more people etc. BUT you cant control the way they will behave or if they are gonna be ur friends. It's important. So at the end most of the time in things there are things which u can control but others not, you cant control how friends you have or how good your friends are, but you can change friends if they're not good/change the way you approach to people so to POTENTIALLY "get" more friends.
The best advice Seneca gave in his letters is one of utmost emphasis on acknowledging the storm inside that you feel in moments that test you:
"Do not despair without hope, nor hope without despair."
Reminds me that no matter how stalwart the guiding principles or mindset a man might have, it's important to recognize that there will be times that you might waver. And it's alright, it's the time when we have the opportunity to improve.
Stoicism is a large part of my worldview. Discovering that you are a stoic is another reason to follow you and keep watching your videos.
But there's a beauty in the struggle. Stoicism is an acceptance of that fact.
So happy to see more people learning about stoicism lately! I’ve followed you a while, and I think focusing on various philosophical ideologies could really compliment the type of content you produce. As a suggestion, looking into other things like nihilism, Confucism, Taoism, etc would be interesting.
Theres been college studies on stoicism with 78% success rate at improving the peoples lives who practiced it. The number may be off but ive been practicing stoicism for sometime didnt realize it existed till recently but it all fits the nature of how i interact with my surroundings and the world itself. Its only been good ✨️ lots of struggle but thats part of the process 😊
My partner is a clinical mental health therapist as well. We keep a common place book like Seneca. We utilize a few things from stoicism, but I find more eastern thought like Zen Taoism helped us much more that stoicism. Stoicism didn't help me personally at all but it did help me write more. A friend of mine just got into stoicism though and I think it's going to help him quite a bit in his life so I'm excited for him. I'll probably show him this video so he will have some more content that's easy to consume and not just Marcus's Meditations.
Just wanna say I bought a book about Stoicism (Stoicism and the Art of Happiness) after watching this video and it's genuinely been life-changing! It's helping to fill a void I've been feeling stuck in the last few years, connecting some dots I've felt were missing with modern secular mindfulness etc. so thanks so much for the video Dr. Ana 🙏
Just for interest sake, in case you want to read some more, the art of happiness isn't actually stoicism. It's a school of philosophy called epicureanism, founded by epicurus. There are many overlaps and good things to learn but some large differences in the fundamental principles. Some view them as opposing, but Seneca, a famous stoic philosopher, quotes epicurus very often
I just recently started following but I’ve been gleaning purpose from science, philosophy, and spiritual concepts for quite sometime. It’s interesting to note that in the wisdom literature of the ancient near east they describe wisdom(Sophia) as a virtuous women. My aunt is a professor of philosophy and she studied Aristotle, middle eastern and women studies. She said we need to incorporate both logic and emotion into our daily practice. I call my personal practice the daily discipline.
Thank you and I really appreciate your content. I was just reading further this morning and the universe has manifested this video lol
Excellent video. Covered all the bases of stoicism, and I think did a great job of pointing out characteristics of our society that would really benefit from embracing some of these stoicism tenets
Stoicism is not only a practical philosophy, but its also a metaphysical one that teaches a great deal about the oneness of the universe. Stoic thinkers were Roman polytheists who believed that the universe is all a part of the Gods and that aligning one's self to the universe, accepting what is beyond our control and focusing on what is within our control, means literally harmonizing our souls with the divine, and that's something I think is even more helpful to people of the religious persuasion as well.
FANTASTIC topic idea. i was actually just thinking this and recently started watching Adrian Thorn (i think thats her name). Thanks Ana for always looking for us and keeping us informed
Yes. Aaaall of this. Thank you for helping me understand I have always been a stoic.
Awesome video! While I've never looked for a label for my current beliefs, this really closely aligns with me. Makes sense since I journal and do DBT. So much easier to live in the current day and know what I can and can't change. When someone wrongs me, I tend to empathize rather than take it personally as I believe all people act rationally based on what led up to an event, even if it appears irrational to me. I avoid avoiding (thoughts, issues) in an attempt to be fully myself in my mind and with others. Excited for the next video!
Ana, I found your channel one day while scrolling and it was one of your first few videos, i have been an avid follower eversince, seeing your channel grow and you as well makes my heart full. I try to follow stoic principles in my life, and seeing you talking about it just makes me realize why i was so drawn to you in the first place. You have a calm, knowing aura that is very mesmerizing, and one that i try to incorporate into myself as well. Keep up the good work!
7:07 ❤
8:48
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24:49 take responsibility for our actions while we work towards something that is less painful for us
Hold yourself accountable above everyone else
This is a great break down, thanks for the side by side comparisons to psych concepts. really helps with sloshing thinking and seeing what core concepts they are ment to work on!
It’s like you know exactly what to post, exactly when it speaks to me the most. Thanks Ana!
I'm autistic and face many things every day that cause me stress and discomfort. Because of this condition, I'm prone to get distraught over trivial things that disrupt my routine and people who just don't make sense for me. Needless to say, it's a life filled with anxiety. Especially the pandemic took its toll on me.
That's when I started to practice stoicism. I didn't want to run away from difficulties because I knew I couldn't avoid them. But I didn't want them to overwhelm me to the point where I can't act properly. I still have a long way to go, but after training for 3 years, my life has improved a lot. Being mindful and learning healthy self-control and self-reliance reduced my anxieties a lot and I became much more patient and unaffected by things that bothered me before.
Stoicism certainly improves mental health. Of course, it's no miracle cure for everything, but helps to slow yourself down in a hectic time where people are letting their emotions get the better of themselves
Great video! for first time I was able to watch through a 30 min long video entirely. You discuss on “nurturing” approach based therapy as well and yes I would like to see a video on stoic exercises too.
Excellent work. I really enjoy how much you're able to view it from different perspectives. My application of stoicism through a lot of physical and mental training saved me from becoming a bitter, resentful, disrespectful individual. I will eternally be grateful for my own ability to be introspective, which I didn't have when I was younger.
yess i learned about external and internal locus of control last semester for one of my classes and it was eye opening!
Thank you for the great video. Stoicism is helping me significantly with my mental health, but I also have done some research on the ancient Chinese philosophy of Taoism which has also allowed me to see the world from a different perspective. I think that for this community and for you, a similar video on Taoism would be very interesting.
I've been down through similar paths. Tao and Zen Buddhism, so abstract and concrete at the same time, so incomprehensible. I also would like she to make a video on it, but she must first "get it", which in itself demands an exclusive type of attention.
i really enjoyed this video! watching it i realized that a lot of aspects of stoicism can directly alleviate a lot of the issues i face day to day (my own mindset!). would love to see the follow up video you mentioned at the end !!!
Hey Ana! I usually don't comment on UA-cam videos but I love your channel and seeing you doing a video on stoicism really made my day! I'm a stoic for quite a while now. I discovered it through CBT and it really helped me become a more resilient version of myself. Thank you for the input and keep up the great work. Your videos are full of wisdom and great advice. Best wishes from Germany! :)
aww so nice of you
totally unrelated, but I love that you got a good microphone! The audio is so much better now, it really enhances the quality of your amazing video's! I always enjoy your content, thank you
Stoic for almost a year, and following your channel for almost two!
Been studying stoicism for a couple of years now! Been following your stuff for several months
I realized that i was following stoicism my whole life when we had our first philosophy course in university. I grew up in the most criminal city of Russia, in the shared appartment with drug addicts, alchoholics and thievs. I saw so many dead people, ped*philles and tragedies in my childhood, my environment was never stable, predictable or controllable. I guess accepting that i can't control everything and that i just have to do anything i can even if it's something small every day in order to get out and improve my living was a way for me to protect fragile kid's mind. It helped me a lot and i truly believe that it played a role of foundation which helped me to achieve academic success and to get master's degree with honors.
I've noticed people tend to describe someone as "stoic" in a way that seems almost like a backhanded compliment. Like a mild and less offensive way to describe someone as cold, dismissive and out of touch with their feelings. Seems to even be associated with negative connotations like the "oldschool" not believing in mental illness, condoning physically punishing kids, and a "that's just how things are" attitude in the face of discrimination or other injustices.
But I personally find that stoicism and by extension radical acceptance are realistic, positive and focused on solutions.
It's so interesting that therapy 10+ years ago seemed to have a huge emphasis on not being a hard-ass, letting yourself feel despair, being honest about how things just suck sometimes and how sad/helpless etc you feel. Venting, complaining and accepting that being unhappy for a long period of time is a chemical imbalance that requires medication to fix.
Now it's gone in the opposite direction back to like a "stoicism rebrand" with these new wave therapies that seem like common sense to me as someone who started off stoic and was conditioned to be a bit "softer with myself" by psychology.
I kinda feel a bit ripped off that stoicism felt pretty discouraged in favor of ditching "tough love" and pivoting toward "how does that honestly make you feel though? No buts, because that's invalidating your own experience of the situation."
I wonder if it'll level out again or whether the pendulum will go back over to "accept that you're helpless and stop trying to fix everything "
I just discovered you. This episode really hit the spot for me. I will be sure to watch your older talks and ones to come. Thanks
A mix of Stoicism (especially during hardships) and Epicureanism (to make room for and enjoy the little moments of happiness) is developing into a practical philosophy that works well for me on the day to day. Wisdom and (physical) practices from Buddhism and Taoism are also nice to sprinkle in. They're all very different ways of interpreting life from my (rather guilt/shame-based) Christian/Catholic upbringing, but they are also ironically helping me reconnect with my Catholic spirituality (mostly morality through good works not the god part)! Thank you for the great video and explanations. There's a book I read a few years ago called "Stoicism and the Art of Happiness" that explores the link between the philosophy and CBT for anyone interested as well.
I hate the fact that the red pill misuses Stoicism, they pick and choose what applies and they do it out of bitterness.
For real
Been watching your content for a while. I find it refreshing when people can admit to changing their opinions and mindsets, and calling themselves out in this day in age. Love the video and your explanations! 🙌
Looking at time from stoic perspective can help to break bad habits and gain a whole new perspective on things. Helps mostly with radical decisions.
Such a perfect time, I’ve totally been going down this UA-cam rabbit whole lol
This is one of my absolute favorite videos of yours, 3rd time watching. Thank you!
Super insightful, I've been reading up a lot on stoicism lately and this video really helped expand on certain ideas
Growth. We love to see it. And this is the incremental growth I'm referring to. You've come a long way.
As a person at stage four out of twelve stages complete in my life; trust me I do these little diagrams about myself and much more; I believe in the solar system
Hey Ana, what an awesome topic this is to cover! Before I will watch the rest of the vid, I'll tell you that I used to be a pretty negative person. Like annoyingly negative to some degree. I would say that I was just being realistic, self defence I guess? Then I came upon Marcus Aurelius' wisdoms, and I felt like I would love to see myself become a stoic of some sort.
So ever since I will try to not include my emotion as much, and try to be as objective as can be. This has helped me stop silently judging people I see on the street for instance, because I keep asking myself "does it really matter if xxxx? Does it actually affect you?", and obviously the answer is generally no. I feel like it had changed my personality a bit, even at an older age. I love it. I feel less negative, I act less negative. The next step for me is to use this during actual conversation where you do not have the time to reflect as quickly as you do when you're not engaged with something or someone.
What I will also say is that I do not strive to become a complete stoic. I have an amazing partner, and it would be such a shame if I weren't able to include any emotion in our situation anymore. Albeit, it shouldn't cloud our judgement, but feeling emotions is also what makes us human, and I have no interest in becoming a robot but not acknowledging emotion or using it in my life.
I loved this so much! Amazing video! I totally agree with everything you said especially the parts about how people assuming the worse in others and how people give too much energy to events outside their control i.e. being too easily upset by others. It's amazing to me how so many people don't seem to realize this yet and this video will hopefully change that.
Loved the connection between Stoicism and modern therapy. The principles that you've shared about Stoicism also had very strong connections with the book 'The Power of Now' - Eckhart Tolle. Would recommend people have a read if they're looking for mental models that can be easily applied to everyday life which also shares underlying principles within Stoicism.
Wow this video blew my mind. What is such a coincidence is earlier today I randomly clicked on an article about “10 of the best books to read” and Vickor Frankl’s book popped up and I found your video today and wow wow wow. This is exactly what I needed especially during this time. I’m excited to learn more and see life as a Stoic. Thank you for this amazing video. Everything was very well explained. And I’m going to go buy that book! And I’m starting therapy in two weeks. 😊
The stoic approach towards lemons of life, shifts my perception how to discern adversities as part of daily story through out remaining decades of my lifetime. It's like embracing fate, without being harsh on what's serve to my table. In addition, the way I acknowledge present moments is filled with empathy and reason; understanding by creating questions i.e., Why this happen? What are the external factors included for this matter? What are the emotions prompt while experiencing this moment? How should I feel after? By mapping reason through mindfulness by Marcus Aurelius from his book Meditation. It serves as a tool to approach an equation without letting emotions maneuver the rationale, and execute empathy to redirect the path before it astray. Ultimately, from what I can extrapolate for practicing daily stoic, myself is deeply rooted to this mantra. Ang taong hindi takot na mamatay, ay sapat ng nabuhay. Which translates to: The person who is not afraid to die, has lived enough.
Stoicism is about many practices that do not fit in in a civilization where elites want us to feel dependent. Great video!
I would love to hear more about stoicism!
Brilliant talk, thank you.