I think that "bossy" is a word that's typically used for girls in place of the word "bully." When boys try to boss other kids around, they aren't said to have leadership skills. They're called bullies, and "bully" is a much harsher term than "bossy." I believe that the word "bossy" is used to describe female bullies because people are taught to coddle girls. So, in a way, I actually agree with Ban Bossy. Let's stop calling girls who push other kids around bossy, and instead start referring to them as bullies, as we would refer to boys who behave in the same way.
What a lot of women don't understand is that men use less harsh language when it comes to women. When a man is being rude to another man we'll simply say "Wow, that guy is an asshole" when a woman is being rude in the workplace we'll use lighter words like 'bossy' or 'pushy'. To be clear, I mean this in real life, not on the internet where people are more anonymous. I'm sure there are many women who have been called assholes before but the level doesn't compare to that of men.
***** That does seem to go beyond what I would call Bossy. I'm pretty sure if any of my cousins were dislocating shoulders they would have got a ass whooping from their parents lol.
When one hears the phrase "factual feminist," it sounds like an oxymoron, but when one takes a look at the woman in this video...he or she will see that such a person can and does actually exist. Liked and subscribed.
You mean she's a feminist according to the actual definition, not the socio-cultural reality (sexist). I think we need a "ban-feminist" campaign as the phrase is inherently just as sexist as masculinist
"Calling girls bossy really stunts their ability to become successful career-women and female leaders. Now I have a numbers of successful career-women and female leaders to tell you about how they were called bossy." Makes so much sense.
Banning a word is pretty authoritarian and bossy in itself. You're policing language and patronizing people when you tell them what to say or not say. Why can't you just try to encourage girls to not worry about what people say about them instead?
In that interview with Megan Kelly, Kelly said: “The Super-girl has got midriff showing, huge breasts, a mini skirt, she’s all about sexuality, her sex appeal. Superman’s got the broad shoulders, he’s covered up, he’s strong.” A man having broad shoulders and being strong isn't about sex appeal?
RoDJ99 It is amazing isn't it? Not just broad shoulders but showing off that flat abdomen sporting a six pack which is an image of virility and stamina. All of Superman and Batman as well are body forming suits. Superman's hugs his body. Batman's formed into an uber man ideal. It is all about sexuality. If you removed the costumes these are the same guys you see on Romance Novels. Ummm Hello??? Megan??? Hello?
In my school the word "bossy" was used to describe a person who loved to boss others around and give orders to others, whether they might not wanted to do it or do. Sometimes it was even used as a funny description for a friend who seemed to want to be in charge all the time. CAUTION: I said "person", which means both girls AND boys were called bossy. People, really get down to it. "Boss" is a noun that means a person who takes the leader's role and give orders to other people. "Bossy" is an adjective, that is used to describe an order giving person who is in charge. This word can be used ether as a joke to laugh with your friends with or as an insult when someone tries to make you do something against your will. It was NEVER said that this word was meant as an insult for girls.
Part of being a leader is being fearless of your critics. A true leader shouldn't care about what this one person said about them. If we banned bossy we'd make worse leaders.
Indeed. Some feminist campaign should say once and for all: "Girls! Stop giving a shit about what people say!" That should end up a huge bunch of their problems: Feel bad about feeling fat? Don't give a shit (or lose the weight). Feel bad about being actually healthy, but not slim enough for a catwalk. Don't give a shit. Boys insult you when you play halo online? Don't give a shit. People call you "bossy" when you're in charge? Don't give a shit. Bullied, attacked or threatened. Give a shit there, call the police, and if they don't pay attention, call the press. But as for everything that deals with emotions, girls should be taught to develop a thick skin, and to act properly regardless of their emotions. Heck, the last one is something you can learn reading Jane Austen: it's been taught for centuries.
Isa M I personally have a very thick skin and I don't give a shit about most of those issues when it comes to me, personally, but I think telling girls to "man up" is a bad idea. Telling people to hide when they've been hurt or when they feel insecure is just as harmful as victimising everyone. Telling people not to feel things doesn't really help.
I didn't say "man up", but "toughen up". And I don't mean to tell people not to feel. You are going to feel bad eventually. The point is never controlling your feelings, you cannot control them. What you can control is your actions. Someone insults you? OK, suppose you care. Act as if you don't. If you go back only because of hurtful words, you'll always fear having your feelings hurt and never advance. If you get your feelings hurt and press on in whatever field you're at, you toughen up and there comes a time when only valid critics from respected people will affect you. The malignant, illogical and unreasonable ones will bounce on you. That's the point. You can try to make a world in which no one ever insults or tries to hurt you, but I don't think that's going to happen, and even if it did, someone will still be a jerk to you, with the intention of getting you out of his/her way. Be prepared for it, because it will happen. You have a right to feel hurt, but by all means, press on.
Isa M I don't have a problem, but I do have empathy for people who do. You can toughen up all you want, but there will always be times when it gets to you - no-one's thick skin is impenetrable. I chose the term "man up" here on purpose. Men are often less likely to find talking about problems worthwhile, whereas women often do. Telling people not to talk about their problems often leads to the problems of over-masculinisation.
I didn't say that they shouldn't talk about them. I said that most of the problems would be solved with proper mental fortitude. I didn't express myself properly. It's not possible for you to choose "to not give a shit" (though trying to imitate the attitude does help). The problem is that these people are advocating to eliminate any harmful stimuli to people's minds. I advocate the proper education needed to strengthen people's minds, so such negative, aggressive or harmful stimuli can be acknowledged and deflected. A strong mind should keep on fighting its intended fight after being called "bossy", "fat" or whatever insult. I think school nowadays lack psychological preparation for those things.... But that would take a full essay to explain. In short, my position is, be attuned with your feelings, but don't let them affect your actions.
A real leader cannot be shaken by a word, so it automatically means we're talking about insecure bullies when word 'bossy' is ushered in to describe a female.
Christina, I just wanted to say that I'm currently reading your book, The War Against Boys, revised edition, and I'm loving every page of it. Thank you for being a voice of reason and sanity in this crazy, ideological world of ours. Cheers! :)
Bossy people are far different then a leader. A bossy person will boss people around without a logical reasonable goal and they typically due it spitefully while leaders will boss people around with logical goals and they typically support there underlings.
Excellent video. Even if the word bossy was indicative of a disparity between boys and girls, an attempt to curtail the use of the word will never address the root issue. Another word will simply take the place of it. The result is you end up with a hypersensitive society and a trimmed down language, but all the same problems still exist. Thanks for bringing some common sense into the discussion, it was direly needed.
I wasn't impressed with Hoff Sommers' participation in the recent "Are men obsolete" debate.. but she is one of the few (only?) feminists who speaks out on behalf of boys & men, and she puts her money where her mouth is. Dear "moderate" feminists: Are you watching?
***** No, it's really useful because when I'm arguing with feminists I'll usually hear: "You just disagree with everything feminists say because you're sexist!" and I can simply respond, "No, I'm a fan of many feminist speakers, such as Patrick Stewart and the Factual Feminist."
Brilliant, such a fan of Christina who is the consummate intellectual, trying to use objective fact rather than loaded language to articulate her points and pouring cold water on much of the irrational inflammatory zeal that we see in these debates. As always a scholar and a gentlewoman.
No we shouldn't ban banbossy, that would be hypocritical. Heres what we should do. Mock them, show them how stupid they are, help them come to realization that they're being idiots, if they don't see how they're being stupid, then at least they'll provide a good laugh for the rest of the thinking population.
I have always understood the term "Bossy" too refer to someone with no leadership skills or even any authority throwing their weight around trying to act like they have power. never took it as a slang against women.
There was a girl from my college who called me (male) bossy. Funny enough, she posted on facebook about that bossy video from Cheryl Sandberg. Some people lack self-awareness. I'm sure most people (male and female alike) call someone else bossy at one point in their lives. Don't try too hard to find someone to blame for your woes.
Female Billionaire: I was called bossy as a kid. Normal Person: Ok. So? You're a billionaire now. How did that stop you? Female Billionaire: It didn't. Normal Person: So why are you, a successful female billionaire, teaching women that their identity, self-worth and success hinges upon a single word? Female Billionaire: Well, uh... er... hm... Normal Person: Kind of a stranger to irony, aren't you, bossy?
Don't get me wrong. I really admire and respect Sommers, even if I don't agree with her on everything. I have for a long time. I've read and relied on her books, and I really appreciate what she has to say in this video. But here is the deal. A term like "factual" feminism is, in and of itself, an admission that just "feminism" automatically implies a lack of being factual. That implication is right on the money. There is no other reason for even coming up with a term like "factual feminism." The term feminist, as a label, is toast. We can argue all day long whether there ever was a time when feminism was a necessary development in human history, but whatever feminism was or might have been in the past, is no longer relevant. Feminism is today predominately, almost exclusively, a banner flown by bigots, liars, con-artists, academic hucksters and the personality disordered. Sommers is the rare exception. Clutching to the term, indeed having to point out that in spite of being feminist you are not averse to facts, is an unhealthy and desperate attempt to salvage something that is no longer salvageable. The world has moved on. We need to move on with it.
If the concept of 'feminism' should be disowned, by symmetry shouldn't 'men's right's' be disowned as well? Both being gender specific. I think the cultural meaning of 'feminism' is inseparable from denoting respecting the rights and dignity of females. So people who label themselves 'anti-feminist' only frame themselves, within the culture, as being opposed to equal rights for women, even if they are not. In the long run, imo, this is all a silly uninformative exercise in semantics. 'Feminism' isn't a dangerous word any more than 'bossy'.
GoddardsJournal I don't agree. My issue with feminism is not that it specializes in issues that affect women, but that it does so with such a brazen lack of ethics and intellectual honesty that someone like CHS has to use the term "factual feminism." The cultural meaning of feminism may well be what you say, but its practical reality is vastly different, as more people are becoming aware every day, The day I believe that the MRM is hopelessly dominated by liars and bigots, is the day I will walk away and not look back. If people like CHS regain control of the women's movement, and the toxic elements in it become the fringe instead of the mainstay, I will be ready to embrace the term again.
Paul Elam So if it was the case that the atheist community was almost totally full of liars and jerks, then we should denounce atheism? I think you're conflating feminism (a concept that doesn't do things) with feminists.
GoddardsJournal Atheism is built around a central ideology (God doesn't exist). If tomorrow, it turns out that God exists and we all agree that the evidence shows that God exists, the Atheists will have to denounce Atheism. Feminism has no such central ideology, and disproving one section of feminist theory results in a new group of feminists popping up and saying "That wasn't real feminism, here's what it really is". This lends itself to lies and half truths. Therefore, feminism is only legitimate if its members are policing it and keeping truth and good ideas central to the movement, just as Atheism is only legitimate so long as Atheists are all drawn together by the belief in no God. It's not so much about "Is the atheist community full of jerks" so much as "Is there a god?" Feminism has no 1 central idea that all feminists agree to, so the legitimacy of the movement can't rely on 1 idea like the existence of god. Instead, for feminism, it comes down to "Are most of our ideas consistent, ethical, truthful, legitimate, and wise?" and the members of the group have to try to keep it this way or else the whole thing (feminism) is delegitimized and becomes a bad social movement.
Tim Oppenheimer Well that's a different argument than what I was addressing. Paul said 'feminism' should disowned as a label because the feminist community is hopelessly dominated by liars and bigots. But I don't think the quality of people adopting a label necessarily means the label is itself wrong and worthy of shunning. Moreover, the apparent MRM goals of *(1)* including men and boys in the gender discussion, *(2)* encouraging empathy for men and boys, and *(3)* persuading people to shun feminism, don't seem intuitively connected nor even compatible. In fact, to me, goal (3) brings to mind that Sesame Street song... _Which one of these is not like the others, which one of these just doesn't belong..._
THANK YOU! I've now enjoyed several of your articles and videos. When a hot-button issue surrounding feminism is brought up, usually a lot of caustic vitriol and wild accusations are flung around on both sides. Your cool headed, fact based, well-sourced explanations are a soothing oasis. I look back on the past 20 years on all the junk philosophy and hysteria, which never made any sense to me, but I couldn't question it without risking ostracization as a misogynist. The way you cleanly clear away the jumble of misinformation is an enormous relief. I tell you, if all feminists were as thoughtful, judicious, rational, and downright pleasant as you are, I might have to become a feminist myself! Please keep up the wonderful work. I'm a newly minted fan.
Christina Hoff Sommers is likely the only person who thinks that Christina Hoff Sommers is a feminist, so I wouldn't worry too much about the thought of agreeing with her.
Thank you for the "Factual Feminist" channel. In my world, as a male, the word feminist or feminism has taken on such a horrible overtone. I'm faced with the "cherry-picked, advocacy data" of 3rd phase feminism all the time. I find it bitter and hateful toward the Y chromosome, simply for its nature as being the Y chromosome. The Factual Feminist is fair, truthful and thoughtful. Not because it skews toward one gender or another, but because it (at the very least) attempts to skew toward the truth. Fantastic! The Layman Idealist
Christina - Happened on the following from The Atlantic's article "The Confidence Gap" by Katty Kay: "Half a dozen global studies, conducted by the likes of Goldman Sachs and Columbia University, have found that companies employing women in large numbers outperform their competitors on every measure of profitability." The article itself diddles around with the nice, manageable and soft hypothesis of career women's "confidence". But the authoresses also included that above, verifiable-or--not stat, which I know Mike Buchanan, for one, thinks is definitely refutable. Also heard on NPR (local Boston 89.7 radio on Tuesday, at 7pm on April 8th) a wage gap debate between one Arianne
This is exactly what is needed, a fair search for truth debunking ridiculous claims that feminists make. We need to rally against what feminism has become, and we can only do that with facts. Keep up the great work.
DON'T Ban Bossy....You want woman to become strong leaders? Banning words and not allowing children to overcome adversity will only stifle their potential in becoming strong individually minded leaders. Empower them by teaching them to overcome hurtful words. Teach them to be strong by forging ahead in tough times and the things they struggle with. These will be extremely valuable life skills that they will need through out their entire adulthood. Without going through this vital stage during adolescence how will they know how to help themselves in times of economic struggles, times of heartache and disappointment? How will they know to stand up against peer pressure? This has such a negative effect...your "Ban Bossy" plight will kill our youths passion, motivation and conviction! Out of adversity comes great art, music, books, movies, inventors and leaders! Your attempt at this will have SEVERE counterproductive actions! Do we really want our children to be this soft. What happens when they grow up and we expect them to run this country. What happens when they are faced with adversity then. Will they just concede at the hands of an extremists or terrorists? We need strong leaders! There are children right now playing in the streets with firecrackers and machine guns in other countries....this is the norm for them. They grow up not fearing heavy duty artillery, destruction and the daily struggles of war. If we do this for young girls it will quickly flow over to young boys. It should be a parents duty or the strong will of that child to overcome childhood adversity, it should not be a "politically correct plight"! If you want to start a PC plight...ban unrealistic body image views of young girls...that's empowering. There are just so many other good fights to fight. Don't get me wrong, I have all of the respect in the world for these woman who started this "Ban Bossy" and am many times inspired by them myself. This is not a very intellectual or professional argument! facebook.com/pages/Dont-Ban-Bossy/627279310678714?ref=hl
I have begun to realize after all of these years that because women in the U.S. no longer contribute anything of any value (they don't even bare children anymore, or just barely and not at replacement levels) and they don't produce anything of any value. So what does that leave them in order to get what they want? That's right; *fraud, deception, blackmail, extortion, lies, false accusations, cons, rip offs, back stabbing, phony lawsuits and every other kind of deceptive, under handed criminal and quasi criminal method available to them. Of course there are men who do all of this, but the vast difference is that for women, deceit and deception is their very operating system.* Only when a woman marries a man and then dumps him after a year to take all of his money, it isn't considered an actual crime, though is should be; that's called *fraud.*
Christina Hoff Sommers is probably the only person that keeps me believing that many feminists are completely sane and rational people who are sometimes fooled by the more radical elements. I have to say, I really respect her bravery in speaking out against the radicals.
Christina Hoff Sommers-I love your videos!! You make it short and sweet, simple enough for the average mind, and definitely seem to research more than the average feminist. More women (and men) need to think more like you.
what some people are also forgetting is that there's is a difference between being bossy and being a leader a leader will help you get to the goal a boss will tell you to get to it yourself and either reap the reward or take an mostly unearned part
I'd like to add, by terming it "we know by 6th or 7th grade parents have higher aspirations for their sons than their daughters" the term "by" implies that it's a trend that keeps getting worse. Basically it implies that by 9th, 10th, and 11th that this trend keeps going in favor of boys. Which is a lie, unless you think I'm reading too much into how they termed it. Just found your videos and subscribed.
Facts? Ban Bossy has... facts? I thought it was nothing but... well... "non-factual", "anecdotal", "self negating" in that many of these women saying they were called 'bossy' are famous and powerful. Feminists lied about a study? Wow. I'm sorta almost shocked. A feminist lying. Wow. C.H. Sommers, you are one of the few feminists I have any respect for.
This is my opinion of why women are typically thought of as "Bossy" when put in a leadership position. People are not generally taught about what it means to be a good leader. A good lead "leads from the front." He/she takes the first steps towards advancing the goals of the group while simultaneously encouraging the rest to follow suit. In many households, young boys and girls are taught that the boys (men) must be gentlemen and carry things and work for their future partners. While the young girls (women) are taught that their future husbands will take care of the hard stuff for them. Be that home improvement, carrying things, working, paying for dinner, etc. (this is not to say women cant do them, or that other housework like dishes and laundry is not difficult. It is. It sucks.) This creates a culture where, primarily, the men do most of the work, while the women tend to other less demanding jobs. Thus, men develop the mentality of "lets do it and get it done." While women develop the mindset of "This is how it supposed to be done." With these mentalities in place, with a man in a leadership position, he is more likely to "get his hands dirty" with the rest of group naturally, while a woman in the same place is more likely to guide and direct only. This leads to the woman being perceived as "bossy" when she is simply leading the only way she knows how. Again, this simply how I perceive the situation based on my own life experiences and does not pertain to all people. Men and Women of the Internet, it has been a pleasure knowing you. However I fear that with this comment, the Feminists will be coming for my head. Wish me luck, and tell my wife I love her. (lol)
It may be that a large part of this intiative is to show us that they have the power to put a rather trivial word outside the boundaries of acceptable discourse.
I have never seen the word bossy as being negative, the character Wendy who is my avatar is a bossy character herself. I just see bossy as meaning that this person would like to take charge of a situation, they definitely are not a bully.
I'm male and I've been called bossy before? Doesn't mean I shut down when I have to take control of a situation. Is there any way to actually say 'Women get called bossy so we are told not to be leaders' because who's to say just as many people don't call males 'bossy'. And to be quite honest, (in my opinion) If someone calling you bossy is going to stop you from taking charge and trying to be a leader in something you are passionate about then you aren't worthy to lead in the first place.
Banning a word doesn't change the way someone perceives you on the inside. Just because you aren't able to say it doesn't mean you don't think it. And someone's internal opinion of a person dictates how they end up treating that person so the banning of the word essentially does nothing. If people perceive you as bossy, whether you are a male or a female, they will still exhibit the same behavior towards you such as avoidance and the many other ways people cope with bossy people.
I AM A GUY FROM INDIA AND I REALLY LOVED YOUR TAKE.. "ON BAN BOSSY" NOW WHAT EVER IS GOING ON IN THE NAME OF FEMINISM IS GENDER POLITICS I AM FROM INDIA WHERE THERE ARE CASTE POLITICS RELIGION POLICTICS LANGUAGE POLITICS THAT MEANS POLITICING ISSUES BASING ON THOSE TOPICS...
Leadership is being invisible with things go well and visible when they go poorly. A leader's job ISN'T to be a boss, it's to be a servant to their people. Likewise, a good employee manages their manager, telling him or her what they need the manager to do for them. Don't tell girls it's OK to be bossy - tell them to become servant leaders. Teach them how to be a part of a team. Natural leadership identifies itself, it's not from someone who treats people like shit and thinks it makes them appear strong.
There is something to be said however about women and girls feeling discouraged to speak up during intellectual and progressive discussion. I've witnessed countless times in classes where my friends, the majority of which being female, shyly raise their hand to speak or retract their statement as they begin. I really do think there's this pressure on women that makes them feel as if their opinion isn't valid. And a lot of times, I've seen women shot down after being vocal about a subject. It's ridiculous. Now, I have seen this plenty of times with men and boys, or a person of any gender for that matter; there are gonna be times when we feel as if our voice doesn't deserve to be heard. However, I do think that phrases like, "women are crazy" help instill the idea into a girl's mind at a young age that their opinion isn't worthy of being brought up. That it's instantly illogical before even being said. So I respect what Ban Bossy was trying to do, regardless of how they went about it.
Max Rome I really feel like what you've seen is influenced by your worldview. I'm in a Liberal Arts college, and a lot of my classes are primarily made up of females. Most of my teachers are self proclaimed feminists, and one of my teachers even proclaimed that she is fully on board with the ideas put forth in this ridiculous article: news.nationalpost.com/2015/01/19/robyn-urback-women-should-speak-first-in-classrooms-says-smu-prof-really-do-the-men-have-to-speak-at-all/ I criticized the idea mildly, and have now never been chosen on to speak in that class again, despite often raising my hand. I think the real problem in a lot of colleges is the teacher's inability to take criticism in any way, despite that being the very purpose of college; to pick apart and scrutinize any idea, even if it is part of the now popular and trendy worldview. Too many times have I seen people been silenced just for resisting the new status quo in any way, and it's sickening.
Well thats ridiculous. I understand what they're trying to do with this, their end goal, but the execution is just blatantly rude. Teachers should just be mindful on who they do and don't call on, and why that is, not exclude students. Sorry you're going through that :/
Max Rome I did not have that experience going to college. What I saw was that in business classes around 80% were females but in all my major classes which were computers were males. The only females I ever saw were older ones and that was in some night class. Those women were already in the industry. The classes were never more than half full either. I had one business class, communications, and out of the over 100 people in the class 5 were males. We all were silently acknowledging where each of us was at in case the place got real. It was taught by the Dean of Business also a female. The guys mostly kept quiet. The underlining theme constantly was about how women have it bad. Fields were called Male Dominated if mostly men were in them but a softer tone was taken over female dominated fields. Instead the phrases preferred or traditional were used. Everything was a struggle for women as they had to fight fight fight to get into those other fields. And although I do not dismiss that sexism does exist I do know that all these courses to include my computers ones are open enrollment and we did it over the phone.
Just have to say in middle school at my school there was only one boy in Leadership, and 14 girls. And in high school there were also more girls in both leadership and school govt... It's not like I went to a school dominated by girls, there was like a 55/45 split favoring boys... Only 20 seconds in and my life experience has conflicted with "facts" once again. Sigh.
Re-watching all this Factual Feminist video again because I need to hear a sane Feminist. And commenting because I never shared my opinion in comments on the past. The "parents of seventh graders placed greater importance on leadership for boys" It is so misleading the way they twist everything. Not only cherry picking but the way it's interpreted. It should be "parents of seventh graders place more presure on boys than girls for leadership skill" By the time I was in 7th grade I was supposed to be well aware of what I was gonna do with my life all the way the retirement plan. And then "girls get 1or 2 more years of been a kid before is pressure about her future" Yes they are both pressure. As for the self-esteem drops higher on girls than boy on the regardless of the study. I do believe that is true, perhaps not those numbers but more likely than the other way around. BUT it has absolutely nothing to do with "Bossy". Even sexism might not add anything of significant. It is more likely doe to the changes one goes through wile growing, mostly physical. Girls tend to be more conscious about their bodies. It is between elementary and high that those lines for "better bodies" "prettiest" form. Develop more complex. Tend to be more worry about how others view them. Have to deal with changes that can be more problematic, like menstruation, dealing and adapting. I know of girls who had erm, bloody, accident wile in school. And I could write a book about factors that would make more sense for a girl self-esteem to lower during those grade that have NOTHING to do with been called bossy. Also you gotta love that they want to ban a word and that on itself is bossy. Plus "When I was on school I was called bossy, now I'm a millionaire" Yeah I can see how that crippled you.
Thank you for adding common sense in modern feminism. I would have so much more respect for feminists if they were backed up with facts like this woman is.
I've been thinking about this for about as long as the "Ban Bossy" video has been out. When I went out I watched how girls and women relate to men and boys in many situations (including women as operators of motorized vehicles). What I have determined in my study is that the "Ban Bossy" campaign is a means to use the word "bossy" to replace the word "bully". Women and girls of all ages seem not to know how to or do not want to negotiate at doorways or on the highway or in parking lots or on playgrounds or anywhere else; the females want their way and none other. So, so as to not be categorized along with the now popular demonetization of bullying which is mostly pinned on males, females get the victim card label of "ban bossy".
As a linguist, I'm surprised that nobody has discussed the word bossy from a semantical point of view. Correct me if I'm wrong, but bossy isn't a word that by itself describes a female person.
Can people stop getting so uptight about the fact she calls herself a feminist? Its just a label, and it depends on the context it is used. I don't know why when people make such great videos like this looking at the evidence, people pick on minutia and ultimately trivial things like the label people are comfortable with using. I would be happy to call myself a feminist in this context, lets not stereotype all feminists, like some feminists stereotype all men's right activists. Feminist, Egalatarian, Humanist, MRA, they don't have to be mutually exclusive.
the fact that anyone thinks this behavior will help any "problems" is the problem! ban bossy... are you freaking serious!! for the parents out there, how do you hide this stuff from your children?
People always gripe about leaders and the instructions they give. It's natural and if you want to be a leader, male or female, you have to be thick skinned about it. If you can't deal with this, don't be a boss. I have never wanted to be in charge of other people and this is one of the reasons why.
Being labelled mattters. Being labelled a mysoginist and a sexist and/or rapist also matters. Labelling someone any of these things is a way of earning an enemy
Is the use of the frequent use of the word 'bossy' an American thing? Because my (fairly recent) experience of schooling here in England consisted of an equal usage of the word bossy for both genders and only up until secondary school age, and only when someone was actually being excessively controlling of, for example, younger siblings.
+Rave Biscuits It's not. The word applies for both genders in America as well. Feminists just hijacked the word to make much ado about nothing for the purpose of self-promotion.
I appreciate the great work of this Wonderful Woman but I think the first step would be to point out the distinction between the two concepts of bossiness and leadership. The latter is a skill which makes the former much less necessary (even superfluous in most cases). Likewise, people appreciate the latter (unless ill disposed to their job); it's the former that the subordinates loathe.
I think the Ban Bossy initiative comes from a popular desire to not be judged in society. Feminists on the internet have commonly expressed their interests in being able to make any decisions they want in life, without having to live up to anyone's expectations or face any judgement for it. I don't think it's a very terrible initiative, but it's starting to infringe on people's freedom to think freely. People are most definitely allowed to have expectations for anyone and everyone, and they are allowed to make judgements based on their own morality. It'll do more damage than good if we start policing people's freedoms of free thought and speech.
The only question now is why would they intentionally falsify this information? Are they dum-dums who just didn't know they were cherry picking.. or are they somehow being rewarded for pushing false assumptions onto the public? If they are being rewarded, how... and by who?
Amelia Woods But you still did a No True Scotsman fallacy by saying that all Third Wave Feminists aren't true feminists, they are, their views are just radical
WHEN SHE SAID THAT THIS BAN BOSSY SHIT IS GETTING CRITICISM "FOR JUST BEING ANNOYING", I WAS THINKING THE EXACT SAME THING!!! COMPLAINING ABOUT THIS IS JUST ANNOYING AND CRYBABYING!
Very well articulated and very accurately done. Excellent. The one question I have is on the statistics she showed concerning males vs females in education/degrees. Do the numbers that represent the males include things that are not technically degrees but are equivalent? You know, those types of manual labor jobs that very few women tend to do like carpentry, plumber, flooring etc. Usually you don't go to college/university for that you do like an apprenticeship and get something else if I'm not mistaken. Just wondering....
They are generally represented in these statistics as Technical colleges are still considered college. Even in a union apprenticeship you will be required to attend a place like Bates.
The thing that bugs me most about the Ban Bossy campaign is the lack of analysis over the source of the issue. people call others something as a result of their emotions or judgement, whether they be true or false. however, banning a word will not get rid of these emotions. I would guess that if the movement worked, and the word was banned, within the week a new word would arise based along the same lines as "Bossy".
"Let's convince people to not call us bossy by telling them what they should and shouldn't say!" Brilliant!
It is loopy thinking.
Your right, to do that, is bossy itself. Imagine if men tried to forbid women from calling them jerks. They would laugh at us and call us cry, babies.
I think that "bossy" is a word that's typically used for girls in place of the word "bully." When boys try to boss other kids around, they aren't said to have leadership skills. They're called bullies, and "bully" is a much harsher term than "bossy." I believe that the word "bossy" is used to describe female bullies because people are taught to coddle girls. So, in a way, I actually agree with Ban Bossy. Let's stop calling girls who push other kids around bossy, and instead start referring to them as bullies, as we would refer to boys who behave in the same way.
In my opinion,I think "Bossy" means someone who's a control freak.
That's a brilliantly accurate description.
What a lot of women don't understand is that men use less harsh language when it comes to women. When a man is being rude to another man we'll simply say "Wow, that guy is an asshole" when a woman is being rude in the workplace we'll use lighter words like 'bossy' or 'pushy'. To be clear, I mean this in real life, not on the internet where people are more anonymous. I'm sure there are many women who have been called assholes before but the level doesn't compare to that of men.
this comment is so spot on.
*****
That does seem to go beyond what I would call Bossy.
I'm pretty sure if any of my cousins were dislocating shoulders they would have got a ass whooping from their parents lol.
When one hears the phrase "factual feminist," it sounds like an oxymoron, but when one takes a look at the woman in this video...he or she will see that such a person can and does actually exist.
Liked and subscribed.
Thank you for watching! Glad to have you as a subscriber.
American Enterprise Institute You're welcome. =)
You mean she's a feminist according to the actual definition, not the socio-cultural reality (sexist). I think we need a "ban-feminist" campaign as the phrase is inherently just as sexist as masculinist
"Calling girls bossy really stunts their ability to become successful career-women and female leaders. Now I have a numbers of successful career-women and female leaders to tell you about how they were called bossy."
Makes so much sense.
Ms. Sommers, you are not bossy. You are a boss. This was a great take-down of the "ban bossy" campaign. Nicely done!
stop being so bossy :P
-"Facts?! Let me look at that......."
.... said no feminist ever.
This one did apparently.
TimeWarp300 Christina is very unique. She's not one of the blue pillers, that's for sure.
If a woman who is going to be the CEO of a company, can't handle being called bossy, then she shouldn't be the CEO of a company.
Banning a word is pretty authoritarian and bossy in itself. You're policing language and patronizing people when you tell them what to say or not say. Why can't you just try to encourage girls to not worry about what people say about them instead?
notice how feminism sounds similar to fascism.
"Banning a word is pretty authoritarian and bossy in itself." Bulls-eye.
In that interview with Megan Kelly, Kelly said:
“The Super-girl has got midriff showing, huge breasts, a mini skirt, she’s all about sexuality, her sex appeal. Superman’s got the broad shoulders, he’s covered up, he’s strong.”
A man having broad shoulders and being strong isn't about sex appeal?
RoDJ99 It is amazing isn't it? Not just broad shoulders but showing off that flat abdomen sporting a six pack which is an image of virility and stamina. All of Superman and Batman as well are body forming suits. Superman's hugs his body. Batman's formed into an uber man ideal. It is all about sexuality. If you removed the costumes these are the same guys you see on Romance Novels. Ummm Hello??? Megan??? Hello?
If you are being deterred from leadership because you fear being "bossy", then maybe you weren't leadership matrial to begin with?
In my school the word "bossy" was used to describe a person who loved to boss others around and give orders to others, whether they might not wanted to do it or do. Sometimes it was even used as a funny description for a friend who seemed to want to be in charge all the time.
CAUTION: I said "person", which means both girls AND boys were called bossy.
People, really get down to it. "Boss" is a noun that means a person who takes the leader's role and give orders to other people. "Bossy" is an adjective, that is used to describe an order giving person who is in charge. This word can be used ether as a joke to laugh with your friends with or as an insult when someone tries to make you do something against your will.
It was NEVER said that this word was meant as an insult for girls.
Part of being a leader is being fearless of your critics. A true leader shouldn't care about what this one person said about them. If we banned bossy we'd make worse leaders.
Indeed. Some feminist campaign should say once and for all: "Girls! Stop giving a shit about what people say!" That should end up a huge bunch of their problems: Feel bad about feeling fat? Don't give a shit (or lose the weight). Feel bad about being actually healthy, but not slim enough for a catwalk. Don't give a shit. Boys insult you when you play halo online? Don't give a shit. People call you "bossy" when you're in charge? Don't give a shit. Bullied, attacked or threatened. Give a shit there, call the police, and if they don't pay attention, call the press. But as for everything that deals with emotions, girls should be taught to develop a thick skin, and to act properly regardless of their emotions. Heck, the last one is something you can learn reading Jane Austen: it's been taught for centuries.
Isa M I personally have a very thick skin and I don't give a shit about most of those issues when it comes to me, personally, but I think telling girls to "man up" is a bad idea. Telling people to hide when they've been hurt or when they feel insecure is just as harmful as victimising everyone. Telling people not to feel things doesn't really help.
I didn't say "man up", but "toughen up". And I don't mean to tell people not to feel. You are going to feel bad eventually. The point is never controlling your feelings, you cannot control them. What you can control is your actions. Someone insults you? OK, suppose you care. Act as if you don't. If you go back only because of hurtful words, you'll always fear having your feelings hurt and never advance. If you get your feelings hurt and press on in whatever field you're at, you toughen up and there comes a time when only valid critics from respected people will affect you. The malignant, illogical and unreasonable ones will bounce on you. That's the point.
You can try to make a world in which no one ever insults or tries to hurt you, but I don't think that's going to happen, and even if it did, someone will still be a jerk to you, with the intention of getting you out of his/her way. Be prepared for it, because it will happen. You have a right to feel hurt, but by all means, press on.
Isa M
I don't have a problem, but I do have empathy for people who do. You can toughen up all you want, but there will always be times when it gets to you - no-one's thick skin is impenetrable.
I chose the term "man up" here on purpose. Men are often less likely to find talking about problems worthwhile, whereas women often do. Telling people not to talk about their problems often leads to the problems of over-masculinisation.
I didn't say that they shouldn't talk about them. I said that most of the problems would be solved with proper mental fortitude. I didn't express myself properly. It's not possible for you to choose "to not give a shit" (though trying to imitate the attitude does help). The problem is that these people are advocating to eliminate any harmful stimuli to people's minds. I advocate the proper education needed to strengthen people's minds, so such negative, aggressive or harmful stimuli can be acknowledged and deflected. A strong mind should keep on fighting its intended fight after being called "bossy", "fat" or whatever insult. I think school nowadays lack psychological preparation for those things.... But that would take a full essay to explain.
In short, my position is, be attuned with your feelings, but don't let them affect your actions.
A real leader cannot be shaken by a word, so it automatically means we're talking about insecure bullies when word 'bossy' is ushered in to describe a female.
Christina, I just wanted to say that I'm currently reading your book, The War Against Boys, revised edition, and I'm loving every page of it. Thank you for being a voice of reason and sanity in this crazy, ideological world of ours.
Cheers! :)
Bossy people are far different then a leader. A bossy person will boss people around without a logical reasonable goal and they typically due it spitefully while leaders will boss people around with logical goals and they typically support there underlings.
Excellent video. Even if the word bossy was indicative of a disparity between boys and girls, an attempt to curtail the use of the word will never address the root issue. Another word will simply take the place of it. The result is you end up with a hypersensitive society and a trimmed down language, but all the same problems still exist. Thanks for bringing some common sense into the discussion, it was direly needed.
I wasn't impressed with Hoff Sommers' participation in the recent "Are men obsolete" debate.. but she is one of the few (only?) feminists who speaks out on behalf of boys & men, and she puts her money where her mouth is. Dear "moderate" feminists: Are you watching?
"Being labeled something matters" ... No shit, that's why men are labeled so often and so harshly? Rapists, misogynistic, harassers, abusers etc. ?
We need to go after the celebrities who sign up for stuff like this without doing their homework just because they get paid. Oh sorry that's bossy.
My biggest question is:
Why do you attach yourself to label that serves you in nothing?
You can do exactly what you do without the label.
The word 'feminism' is a real squasher.
Making her name "FACTUAL Feminist" pisses feminists off.
*****
No, it's really useful because when I'm arguing with feminists I'll usually hear: "You just disagree with everything feminists say because you're sexist!" and I can simply respond, "No, I'm a fan of many feminist speakers, such as Patrick Stewart and the Factual Feminist."
Brilliant, such a fan of Christina who is the consummate intellectual, trying to use objective fact rather than loaded language to articulate her points and pouring cold water on much of the irrational inflammatory zeal that we see in these debates. As always a scholar and a gentlewoman.
No we shouldn't ban banbossy, that would be hypocritical.
Heres what we should do.
Mock them, show them how stupid they are, help them come to realization that they're being idiots, if they don't see how they're being stupid, then at least they'll provide a good laugh for the rest of the thinking population.
Fight bad ideas with good ideas? I like it. Seems revolutionary.
I think the title was a bit of a joke, showing how ridiculous their campaign was.
I have always understood the term "Bossy" too refer to someone with no leadership skills or even any authority throwing their weight around trying to act like they have power.
never took it as a slang against women.
So glad to have found your channel! I've subscribe and have started binge watching. Thank you for your enlightening view, it's a breath of fresh air.
There was a girl from my college who called me (male) bossy. Funny enough, she posted on facebook about that bossy video from Cheryl Sandberg. Some people lack self-awareness. I'm sure most people (male and female alike) call someone else bossy at one point in their lives. Don't try too hard to find someone to blame for your woes.
Female Billionaire: I was called bossy as a kid.
Normal Person: Ok. So? You're a billionaire now. How did that stop you?
Female Billionaire: It didn't.
Normal Person: So why are you, a successful female billionaire, teaching women that their identity, self-worth and success hinges upon a single word?
Female Billionaire: Well, uh... er... hm...
Normal Person: Kind of a stranger to irony, aren't you, bossy?
Don't get me wrong. I really admire and respect Sommers, even if I don't agree with her on everything. I have for a long time. I've read and relied on her books, and I really appreciate what she has to say in this video.
But here is the deal. A term like "factual" feminism is, in and of itself, an admission that just "feminism" automatically implies a lack of being factual. That implication is right on the money. There is no other reason for even coming up with a term like "factual feminism."
The term feminist, as a label, is toast. We can argue all day long whether there ever was a time when feminism was a necessary development in human history, but whatever feminism was or might have been in the past, is no longer relevant.
Feminism is today predominately, almost exclusively, a banner flown by bigots, liars, con-artists, academic hucksters and the personality disordered. Sommers is the rare exception.
Clutching to the term, indeed having to point out that in spite of being feminist you are not averse to facts, is an unhealthy and desperate attempt to salvage something that is no longer salvageable.
The world has moved on. We need to move on with it.
If the concept of 'feminism' should be disowned, by symmetry shouldn't 'men's right's' be disowned as well? Both being gender specific.
I think the cultural meaning of 'feminism' is inseparable from denoting respecting the rights and dignity of females. So people who label themselves 'anti-feminist' only frame themselves, within the culture, as being opposed to equal rights for women, even if they are not. In the long run, imo, this is all a silly uninformative exercise in semantics. 'Feminism' isn't a dangerous word any more than 'bossy'.
GoddardsJournal I don't agree. My issue with feminism is not that it specializes in issues that affect women, but that it does so with such a brazen lack of ethics and intellectual honesty that someone like CHS has to use the term "factual feminism."
The cultural meaning of feminism may well be what you say, but its practical reality is vastly different, as more people are becoming aware every day,
The day I believe that the MRM is hopelessly dominated by liars and bigots, is the day I will walk away and not look back.
If people like CHS regain control of the women's movement, and the toxic elements in it become the fringe instead of the mainstay, I will be ready to embrace the term again.
Paul Elam So if it was the case that the atheist community was almost totally full of liars and jerks, then we should denounce atheism? I think you're conflating feminism (a concept that doesn't do things) with feminists.
GoddardsJournal Atheism is built around a central ideology (God doesn't exist). If tomorrow, it turns out that God exists and we all agree that the evidence shows that God exists, the Atheists will have to denounce Atheism.
Feminism has no such central ideology, and disproving one section of feminist theory results in a new group of feminists popping up and saying "That wasn't real feminism, here's what it really is". This lends itself to lies and half truths. Therefore, feminism is only legitimate if its members are policing it and keeping truth and good ideas central to the movement, just as Atheism is only legitimate so long as Atheists are all drawn together by the belief in no God.
It's not so much about "Is the atheist community full of jerks" so much as "Is there a god?" Feminism has no 1 central idea that all feminists agree to, so the legitimacy of the movement can't rely on 1 idea like the existence of god. Instead, for feminism, it comes down to "Are most of our ideas consistent, ethical, truthful, legitimate, and wise?" and the members of the group have to try to keep it this way or else the whole thing (feminism) is delegitimized and becomes a bad social movement.
Tim Oppenheimer Well that's a different argument than what I was addressing. Paul said 'feminism' should disowned as a label because the feminist community is hopelessly dominated by liars and bigots. But I don't think the quality of people adopting a label necessarily means the label is itself wrong and worthy of shunning.
Moreover, the apparent MRM goals of *(1)* including men and boys in the gender discussion, *(2)* encouraging empathy for men and boys, and *(3)* persuading people to shun feminism, don't seem intuitively connected nor even compatible. In fact, to me, goal (3) brings to mind that Sesame Street song... _Which one of these is not like the others, which one of these just doesn't belong..._
THANK YOU! I've now enjoyed several of your articles and videos. When a hot-button issue surrounding feminism is brought up, usually a lot of caustic vitriol and wild accusations are flung around on both sides. Your cool headed, fact based, well-sourced explanations are a soothing oasis. I look back on the past 20 years on all the junk philosophy and hysteria, which never made any sense to me, but I couldn't question it without risking ostracization as a misogynist. The way you cleanly clear away the jumble of misinformation is an enormous relief. I tell you, if all feminists were as thoughtful, judicious, rational, and downright pleasant as you are, I might have to become a feminist myself! Please keep up the wonderful work. I'm a newly minted fan.
Sheryl Sandberg was called bossy while growing up and look where it got her.
BanBossy = 1984, just saying :/
I never thought I'd be agreeing with a feminist. Although I consider myself an egalitarian, she has many great points that I can relate to.
her ideas are opposed by most people who identify as feminists, so i don't know if it's really useful to think of her as a feminist
Christina Hoff Sommers is likely the only person who thinks that Christina Hoff Sommers is a feminist, so I wouldn't worry too much about the thought of agreeing with her.
RotGtIE lol, you put this much better than i did. thank you
Since when is "bossy" a word only used on girls? I've been called "bossy" more times than I can count.
Thank you for the "Factual Feminist" channel. In my world, as a male, the word feminist or feminism has taken on such a horrible overtone. I'm faced with the "cherry-picked, advocacy data" of 3rd phase feminism all the time. I find it bitter and hateful toward the Y chromosome, simply for its nature as being the Y chromosome. The Factual Feminist is fair, truthful and thoughtful. Not because it skews toward one gender or another, but because it (at the very least) attempts to skew toward the truth. Fantastic! The Layman Idealist
Christina - Happened on the following from The Atlantic's article "The Confidence Gap" by Katty Kay:
"Half a dozen global studies, conducted by the likes of Goldman Sachs and Columbia University, have found that companies employing women in large numbers outperform their competitors on every measure of profitability."
The article itself diddles around with the nice, manageable and soft hypothesis of career women's "confidence". But the authoresses also included that above, verifiable-or--not stat, which I know Mike Buchanan, for one, thinks is definitely refutable.
Also heard on NPR (local Boston 89.7 radio on Tuesday, at 7pm on April 8th) a wage gap debate between one Arianne
This is exactly what is needed, a fair search for truth debunking ridiculous claims that feminists make. We need to rally against what feminism has become, and we can only do that with facts. Keep up the great work.
DON'T Ban Bossy....You want woman to become strong leaders? Banning words and not allowing children to overcome adversity will only stifle their potential in becoming strong individually minded leaders. Empower them by teaching them to overcome hurtful words. Teach them to be strong by forging ahead in tough times and the things they struggle with. These will be extremely valuable life skills that they will need through out their entire adulthood. Without going through this vital stage during adolescence how will they know how to help themselves in times of economic struggles, times of heartache and disappointment? How will they know to stand up against peer pressure? This has such a negative effect...your "Ban Bossy" plight will kill our youths passion, motivation and conviction! Out of adversity comes great art, music, books, movies, inventors and leaders!
Your attempt at this will have SEVERE counterproductive actions!
Do we really want our children to be this soft. What happens when they grow up and we expect them to run this country. What happens when they are faced with adversity then. Will they just concede at the hands of an extremists or terrorists? We need strong leaders! There are children right now playing in the streets with firecrackers and machine guns in other countries....this is the norm for them. They grow up not fearing heavy duty artillery, destruction and the daily struggles of war.
If we do this for young girls it will quickly flow over to young boys. It should be a parents duty or the strong will of that child to overcome childhood adversity, it should not be a "politically correct plight"!
If you want to start a PC plight...ban unrealistic body image views of young girls...that's empowering. There are just so many other good fights to fight. Don't get me wrong, I have all of the respect in the world for these woman who started this "Ban Bossy" and am many times inspired by them myself. This is not a very intellectual or professional argument!
facebook.com/pages/Dont-Ban-Bossy/627279310678714?ref=hl
I think that people who don't pursue something, because people called or call them bossy don't have it in them to be a boss.
How can we help to spread the word of the factual feminist? She makes so much sense, and has real research to back up what she says!
What motivates these people? Why are they so selfish, evil and ingenuine?
I have begun to realize after all of these years that because women in the U.S. no longer contribute anything of any value (they don't even bare children anymore, or just barely and not at replacement levels) and they don't produce anything of any value. So what does that leave them in order to get what they want?
That's right; *fraud, deception, blackmail, extortion, lies, false accusations, cons, rip offs, back stabbing, phony lawsuits and every other kind of deceptive, under handed criminal and quasi criminal method available to them. Of course there are men who do all of this, but the vast difference is that for women, deceit and deception is their very operating system.*
Only when a woman marries a man and then dumps him after a year to take all of his money, it isn't considered an actual crime, though is should be; that's called *fraud.*
moneymoneymoneymoneyMONEY!!
Fear.
Christina Hoff Sommers is probably the only person that keeps me believing that many feminists are completely sane and rational people who are sometimes fooled by the more radical elements. I have to say, I really respect her bravery in speaking out against the radicals.
Christina Hoff Sommers-I love your videos!! You make it short and sweet, simple enough for the average mind, and definitely seem to research more than the average feminist. More women (and men) need to think more like you.
This lady is amazing.
what some people are also forgetting is that there's is a difference between being bossy and being a leader a leader will help you get to the goal a boss will tell you to get to it yourself and either reap the reward or take an mostly unearned part
so if we ban the word bossy, what would we call somebody when they are being bossy?
A female is like an ambulance. She whines loudly when life's traffic gets hard to drive through
I'd like to add, by terming it "we know by 6th or 7th grade parents have higher aspirations for their sons than their daughters" the term "by" implies that it's a trend that keeps getting worse. Basically it implies that by 9th, 10th, and 11th that this trend keeps going in favor of boys. Which is a lie, unless you think I'm reading too much into how they termed it.
Just found your videos and subscribed.
Facts? Ban Bossy has... facts? I thought it was nothing but... well... "non-factual", "anecdotal", "self negating" in that many of these women saying they were called 'bossy' are famous and powerful.
Feminists lied about a study? Wow. I'm sorta almost shocked. A feminist lying. Wow.
C.H. Sommers, you are one of the few feminists I have any respect for.
Being bossy is a personal trait, not a blanket trait for entire groups of people.
This is my opinion of why women are typically thought of as "Bossy" when put in a leadership position.
People are not generally taught about what it means to be a good leader. A good lead "leads from the front." He/she takes the first steps towards advancing the goals of the group while simultaneously encouraging the rest to follow suit. In many households, young boys and girls are taught that the boys (men) must be gentlemen and carry things and work for their future partners. While the young girls (women) are taught that their future husbands will take care of the hard stuff for them. Be that home improvement, carrying things, working, paying for dinner, etc. (this is not to say women cant do them, or that other housework like dishes and laundry is not difficult. It is. It sucks.)
This creates a culture where, primarily, the men do most of the work, while the women tend to other less demanding jobs. Thus, men develop the mentality of "lets do it and get it done." While women develop the mindset of "This is how it supposed to be done." With these mentalities in place, with a man in a leadership position, he is more likely to "get his hands dirty" with the rest of group naturally, while a woman in the same place is more likely to guide and direct only. This leads to the woman being perceived as "bossy" when she is simply leading the only way she knows how.
Again, this simply how I perceive the situation based on my own life experiences and does not pertain to all people. Men and Women of the Internet, it has been a pleasure knowing you. However I fear that with this comment, the Feminists will be coming for my head. Wish me luck, and tell my wife I love her.
(lol)
blown away by the thorough presentation of facts. Thank you for your work Christina Hoff Sommers. I am a loyal subscriber now :=)
It may be that a large part of this intiative is to show us that they have the power to put a rather trivial word outside the boundaries of acceptable discourse.
I have never seen the word bossy as being negative, the character Wendy who is my avatar is a bossy character herself. I just see bossy as meaning that this person would like to take charge of a situation, they definitely are not a bully.
I'm male and I've been called bossy before? Doesn't mean I shut down when I have to take control of a situation. Is there any way to actually say 'Women get called bossy so we are told not to be leaders' because who's to say just as many people don't call males 'bossy'. And to be quite honest, (in my opinion) If someone calling you bossy is going to stop you from taking charge and trying to be a leader in something you are passionate about then you aren't worthy to lead in the first place.
I usually (hate) feminism, but I respect this.
Banning a word doesn't change the way someone perceives you on the inside. Just because you aren't able to say it doesn't mean you don't think it. And someone's internal opinion of a person dictates how they end up treating that person so the banning of the word essentially does nothing. If people perceive you as bossy, whether you are a male or a female, they will still exhibit the same behavior towards you such as avoidance and the many other ways people cope with bossy people.
That end pun joke is hilarious.
Thank you for making these videos.
All we need you is to be president. That would be perfect
I AM A GUY FROM INDIA AND I REALLY LOVED YOUR TAKE.. "ON BAN BOSSY" NOW WHAT EVER IS GOING ON IN THE NAME OF FEMINISM IS GENDER POLITICS I AM FROM INDIA WHERE THERE ARE CASTE POLITICS RELIGION POLICTICS LANGUAGE POLITICS THAT MEANS POLITICING ISSUES BASING ON THOSE TOPICS...
Ban the word ban
To true. It's nice to see someone who shows multiple interpretations of the statistics rather then jumping to conclusions.
A literature review of third-wave feminist advocacy research suggest that 12% of the time they are right every time.
Through use of researched and founded facts, you have gained my interest and subscription to your channel. Hope to see more informative videos.
"Words matter" is the exact opposite of what my mother taught me. Actions matter.
theirs a program in my school called active life teaching kids to be leaders, the most picked were girls
By feminist logic, the word 'loud-mouthed' is the reason why I'm not a leader of some great firm.
Leadership is being invisible with things go well and visible when they go poorly. A leader's job ISN'T to be a boss, it's to be a servant to their people. Likewise, a good employee manages their manager, telling him or her what they need the manager to do for them. Don't tell girls it's OK to be bossy - tell them to become servant leaders. Teach them how to be a part of a team. Natural leadership identifies itself, it's not from someone who treats people like shit and thinks it makes them appear strong.
Got to love how all those successful women want to ban "bossy" after they have endured it, and have since become a success in spite of it.
I bet that Margaret Thatcher was called bossy and hell of a lot worse on many occassions and it didn't stop her.
There is something to be said however about women and girls feeling discouraged to speak up during intellectual and progressive discussion. I've witnessed countless times in classes where my friends, the majority of which being female, shyly raise their hand to speak or retract their statement as they begin. I really do think there's this pressure on women that makes them feel as if their opinion isn't valid. And a lot of times, I've seen women shot down after being vocal about a subject. It's ridiculous. Now, I have seen this plenty of times with men and boys, or a person of any gender for that matter; there are gonna be times when we feel as if our voice doesn't deserve to be heard. However, I do think that phrases like, "women are crazy" help instill the idea into a girl's mind at a young age that their opinion isn't worthy of being brought up. That it's instantly illogical before even being said. So I respect what Ban Bossy was trying to do, regardless of how they went about it.
Max Rome I really feel like what you've seen is influenced by your worldview. I'm in a Liberal Arts college, and a lot of my classes are primarily made up of females. Most of my teachers are self proclaimed feminists, and one of my teachers even proclaimed that she is fully on board with the ideas put forth in this ridiculous article:
news.nationalpost.com/2015/01/19/robyn-urback-women-should-speak-first-in-classrooms-says-smu-prof-really-do-the-men-have-to-speak-at-all/
I criticized the idea mildly, and have now never been chosen on to speak in that class again, despite often raising my hand. I think the real problem in a lot of colleges is the teacher's inability to take criticism in any way, despite that being the very purpose of college; to pick apart and scrutinize any idea, even if it is part of the now popular and trendy worldview. Too many times have I seen people been silenced just for resisting the new status quo in any way, and it's sickening.
Well thats ridiculous. I understand what they're trying to do with this, their end goal, but the execution is just blatantly rude. Teachers should just be mindful on who they do and don't call on, and why that is, not exclude students. Sorry you're going through that :/
Max Rome I did not have that experience going to college. What I saw was that in business classes around 80% were females but in all my major classes which were computers were males. The only females I ever saw were older ones and that was in some night class. Those women were already in the industry. The classes were never more than half full either. I had one business class, communications, and out of the over 100 people in the class 5 were males. We all were silently acknowledging where each of us was at in case the place got real. It was taught by the Dean of Business also a female. The guys mostly kept quiet. The underlining theme constantly was about how women have it bad. Fields were called Male Dominated if mostly men were in them but a softer tone was taken over female dominated fields. Instead the phrases preferred or traditional were used. Everything was a struggle for women as they had to fight fight fight to get into those other fields. And although I do not dismiss that sexism does exist I do know that all these courses to include my computers ones are open enrollment and we did it over the phone.
The irony of this whole "bossy" thing is that those who are forbidding people from using the term bossy are being bossy.
Excellent video, Christina!
If you are afraid of being called "bossy", you don't need to be a boss anyway.
Just have to say in middle school at my school there was only one boy in Leadership, and 14 girls. And in high school there were also more girls in both leadership and school govt... It's not like I went to a school dominated by girls, there was like a 55/45 split favoring boys... Only 20 seconds in and my life experience has conflicted with "facts" once again. Sigh.
If you are offended by being called bossy then you should never be a boss PERIOD.
Factual feminist, I could stand you being quite a lot more bossy. Keep up the good work.
Re-watching all this Factual Feminist video again because I need to hear a sane Feminist. And commenting because I never shared my opinion in comments on the past.
The "parents of seventh graders placed greater importance on leadership for boys" It is so misleading the way they twist everything. Not only cherry picking but the way it's interpreted. It should be "parents of seventh graders place more presure on boys than girls for leadership skill" By the time I was in 7th grade I was supposed to be well aware of what I was gonna do with my life all the way the retirement plan. And then "girls get 1or 2 more years of been a kid before is pressure about her future" Yes they are both pressure.
As for the self-esteem drops higher on girls than boy on the regardless of the study. I do believe that is true, perhaps not those numbers but more likely than the other way around. BUT it has absolutely nothing to do with "Bossy". Even sexism might not add anything of significant. It is more likely doe to the changes one goes through wile growing, mostly physical. Girls tend to be more conscious about their bodies. It is between elementary and high that those lines for "better bodies" "prettiest" form. Develop more complex. Tend to be more worry about how others view them. Have to deal with changes that can be more problematic, like menstruation, dealing and adapting. I know of girls who had erm, bloody, accident wile in school. And I could write a book about factors that would make more sense for a girl self-esteem to lower during those grade that have NOTHING to do with been called bossy.
Also you gotta love that they want to ban a word and that on itself is bossy. Plus "When I was on school I was called bossy, now I'm a millionaire" Yeah I can see how that crippled you.
Thank you for adding common sense in modern feminism. I would have so much more respect for feminists if they were backed up with facts like this woman is.
I've been thinking about this for about as long as the "Ban Bossy" video has been out. When I went out I watched how girls and women relate to men and boys in many situations (including women as operators of motorized vehicles). What I have determined in my study is that the "Ban Bossy" campaign is a means to use the word "bossy" to replace the word "bully". Women and girls of all ages seem not to know how to or do not want to negotiate at doorways or on the highway or in parking lots or on playgrounds or anywhere else; the females want their way and none other. So, so as to not be categorized along with the now popular demonetization of bullying which is mostly pinned on males, females get the victim card label of "ban bossy".
As a linguist, I'm surprised that nobody has discussed the word bossy from a semantical point of view. Correct me if I'm wrong, but bossy isn't a word that by itself describes a female person.
Can people stop getting so uptight about the fact she calls herself a feminist? Its just a label, and it depends on the context it is used. I don't know why when people make such great videos like this looking at the evidence, people pick on minutia and ultimately trivial things like the label people are comfortable with using. I would be happy to call myself a feminist in this context, lets not stereotype all feminists, like some feminists stereotype all men's right activists. Feminist, Egalatarian, Humanist, MRA, they don't have to be mutually exclusive.
the fact that anyone thinks this behavior will help any "problems" is the problem! ban bossy... are you freaking serious!! for the parents out there, how do you hide this stuff from your children?
By trying to ban the word bossy they are demonizing the word themselves. As a girl I was called bossy as a kid ; I didnt care at all.
Appreciate the video, keep up the good work
People always gripe about leaders and the instructions they give. It's natural and if you want to be a leader, male or female, you have to be thick skinned about it. If you can't deal with this, don't be a boss. I have never wanted to be in charge of other people and this is one of the reasons why.
Interesting demonstration of how ideology can be dressed up in scientific clothing. Thanks.
Christina is a breath of fresh air, thanks!
Being labelled mattters. Being labelled a mysoginist and a sexist and/or rapist also matters. Labelling someone any of these things is a way of earning an enemy
Great to see a video that serves FACTS. Keep up the good work Christina!
Is the use of the frequent use of the word 'bossy' an American thing? Because my (fairly recent) experience of schooling here in England consisted of an equal usage of the word bossy for both genders and only up until secondary school age, and only when someone was actually being excessively controlling of, for example, younger siblings.
+Rave Biscuits It's not. The word applies for both genders in America as well. Feminists just hijacked the word to make much ado about nothing for the purpose of self-promotion.
I appreciate the great work of this Wonderful Woman but I think the first step would be to point out the distinction between the two concepts of bossiness and leadership. The latter is a skill which makes the former much less necessary (even superfluous in most cases). Likewise, people appreciate the latter (unless ill disposed to their job); it's the former that the subordinates loathe.
I think the Ban Bossy initiative comes from a popular desire to not be judged in society. Feminists on the internet have commonly expressed their interests in being able to make any decisions they want in life, without having to live up to anyone's expectations or face any judgement for it. I don't think it's a very terrible initiative, but it's starting to infringe on people's freedom to think freely. People are most definitely allowed to have expectations for anyone and everyone, and they are allowed to make judgements based on their own morality. It'll do more damage than good if we start policing people's freedoms of free thought and speech.
I like Her!
I like *any* woman with common sense.
The only question now is why would they intentionally falsify this information? Are they dum-dums who just didn't know they were cherry picking.. or are they somehow being rewarded for pushing false assumptions onto the public? If they are being rewarded, how... and by who?
It's so refreshing to find a real feminist! You are awesome!
No true Scotsman fallacy
+Ellis Roper Hahaha no. I don't consider myself a feminist, but it is refreshing to actually find a feminist who isn't radical.
Amelia Woods But you still did a No True Scotsman fallacy by saying that all Third Wave Feminists aren't true feminists, they are, their views are just radical
+Ellis Roper No, the ''real feminist'' thing wasn't meant to be taken so literally.
Amelia Woods Ah, okay
WHEN SHE SAID THAT THIS BAN BOSSY SHIT IS GETTING CRITICISM "FOR JUST BEING ANNOYING", I WAS THINKING THE EXACT SAME THING!!! COMPLAINING ABOUT THIS IS JUST ANNOYING AND CRYBABYING!
You can't be a factual Feminist, you are going to upset the natural order of things! lol
You need to include url links to the data and videos cited in your videos.
Very well articulated and very accurately done. Excellent. The one question I have is on the statistics she showed concerning males vs females in education/degrees. Do the numbers that represent the males include things that are not technically degrees but are equivalent? You know, those types of manual labor jobs that very few women tend to do like carpentry, plumber, flooring etc. Usually you don't go to college/university for that you do like an apprenticeship and get something else if I'm not mistaken. Just wondering....
They are generally represented in these statistics as Technical colleges are still considered college. Even in a union apprenticeship you will be required to attend a place like Bates.
Ah I see
It's interesting that this video is over two years old and I just saw Sheryl on C-SPAN, maybe two days ago, spouting the same misinformation.
The thing that bugs me most about the Ban Bossy campaign is the lack of analysis over the source of the issue. people call others something as a result of their emotions or judgement, whether they be true or false. however, banning a word will not get rid of these emotions. I would guess that if the movement worked, and the word was banned, within the week a new word would arise based along the same lines as "Bossy".
I have heard alot that women work twice as much unpaid hours then men do is, this true? Do you already have a video on it?