Family First - Model for Love
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- Опубліковано 14 бер 2024
- How to Grieve an Estranged Parent
"Patrick Teahan on healing your inner child and finding community outside of family."
Listen Here: slate.com/podcasts/how-to/202...
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Childhood Trauma Resources and Offerings
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My videos are for educational purposes only. Information provided on this channel is not intended to be a substitute for in person professional medical advice. It is not intended to replace the services of a therapist, physician, or other qualified professional, nor does it constitute a therapist-client or physician or quasi-physician relationship.
If you are, or someone you know, is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.
If you are having emotional distress, please utilize 911 or the National Suicide Hotline
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The sad truth for millions of disabled citizens, there is no "leaving the family" when they're how you survive. It would take too much money or energy to leave the house for a lot of people.
Absolutely
I would rather be homeless. And I have been. It is hard, scary, and painful, but also, I am free, strong, run my own business, and doing good after all that i went through to escape. There are a lot of resources out there to help people get away from abusive situations- caveat is not being so secluded into crazy rural areas ie no cell service. Any of us that have access to youtube, probably have access to a multitude of resources online and over the phone.
@@chelseabunker2391Most disabled people would die if they became homeless. There isn't actually lots out their for disabled people, heck shekters don'teven have suitable accommodatio. If you lived out this situation, you'd know that. Please keep the ablism away, we've had enough abuse.
@@chelseabunker2391there are very different disabilities out there and your message sounds a bit shamey tbh. there is always a way to be more empowered, but you have to take into account how different everybody’s circumstances are.
Yet another reason that the assumption that your immediate genetic relatives will take care of your needs is a destructive one. Our society needs to be a bit more flexible than that.
It sure is complicated.. once upon a time I thought “I don’t know who I am without my siblings”.. FF to today… I absolutely cannot let my toxic family define me. They keep me stuck. I haven’t spoken to them in 2 years and it launched me into healing myself!
Yeah that's really relatable - once you finally do find that person accepts you, it feels like they're lying when they say they love you as you are. The most annoying part is that I can tell it's logically true, but I don't believe it.
Thank you for this. I’m 57 and just starting to understand the depth if ACEs I survived. Much love to you, gentle man. You are an angel with the heart of a lion.
Love this❤ the hardest part from going no contact is the grieving!! I don’t know what to do with the void
I've struggled with the idea of 'the void' too, but realised it was *always* a void. For me, the 'new void' is the absence of constant disapproval, gaslighting, toxicity and repeated severe harm to my health. It's important for everyone to make their unique choices in their unique situation, but I'll take the new void over the old one any day.
Sad that my mom made my sister and I were made to feel we were never good enough. Good enough for what, for whom? Reading my high school year book and comments were all positive. I said self you weren’t so bad after all. This was years later. 😞 sad.
Traditionally people have conditioned each other to be stuck in a fixed defeated state of mind relative to incompetent parenting.
Its complicated. It sure is and Patrick understands and delivers another great video. 👍 Thank you. 💛
Just wanted to say this channel has brought me comfort and motivation through a very hard time. I found the channel through a video on limerence and literally every video I looked at after touched me and I feel so understood. Dont stop the good work 💪💪💪
When i was in group therapy i felt like i was a piece of shit and totally unredeeming. I think everyone else felt that way and a few openly talked about feeling that way.
It's a game changer to find people who just accept the real you, without you having to prove something or be someobe who serves a purpose or be a certain way to earn love.
I just listened to this one. It is a must-listen! Powerful!
Dear Patrick, I have a specific question... Could you one day maybe make a video on histrionic mothers and narc fathers and the trauma it might cause to have such parents? Thank you so so so much!!!
Thanks for the video.
✅good
Gotta find your chosen family, or as my therapist calls it kin, even if it's that one friend that sticks around for 20 years.(even if youndont understand, lol). I'd say partner, but i think we need someone that obviously cares for us that isn't a partner or romantically involved with us.
Hi there!
New to your content & channel. My career was in counselling domestic violence & trauma survivors at the point of fleeing their unsafe situations.
From being in the field, there’s only so much self work one can do. Currently, 54 and going through an intensive introspection again but pronged the past 3 yrs due to ongoing life challenges. Lol for some, life keeps hitting.
My question is - can you recommend any works or videos that would benefit continuing inner work when one has a full life full of trauma & life challenges. A bit of history - I was born with (congenital) one of the worst forms of Craniofacial/Hemifacial Microsomia. The highlight would be trauma since day one of medical nature & continuing after with social abuse/trauma. (Ie. 20 reconstructive facial surgeries by 5 yrs of age/all the formative years being left at Sick Kids hospital for weeks at a time; then over 25 more major reconstructive surgeries by 17yrs old).
It’s such a foreign combination to me from medically induced pain/healing since birth, dissociative years (although no one has touched on that until I heard your video tbh but I did know in public I shut ppl out completely due to social abuse since I can remember it evolved into coping), body memory, PTSD undiagnosed until I was 41, known depression/anxiety treated from 35 on, history of EDs from teen until 35 after specialized therapy, and a host of other issues being highly emotionally sensitive & hyperbigilant & over analyzing everything 24/7 (lol naturally born social worker).
Anyways, it’s a lot more but basically ongoing life stuff since I was born. But which areas of trauma specialty do you feel may help with this type of childhood trauma.
Luckily my mother & grandparents did their best but mom was only 19 when I was born. During my first year she left her young marriage due to abuse (one time she came from work and I was alone crying in the crib for hours likely as my bio dad was at a bar).
By a year old we moved closer to Toronto so that my surgeries would be closer. My grandparents moved too by the first year we arrived there.
Thank you in advance. I’m at a point now where I’d like to get a bit better internally. Always trying to work on growth & healing. Appreciate your time!
Kind regards, Christina.
I don't understand "I love you just the way you are." because, I feel like it means I don't have boundaries.
So, if someone were unhealthy and really toxic, and violates my boundaries do I have to love them the way they are? Shouldn't I consider enforcing my boundaries and if they still don't listen, I should leave? :< Or do I consistently "be a responsible adult" so the toxic person has a model that enforces boundaries in their life? Shouldn't I just go be with healthier people? Or is expecting healthy responses from people all the time "too much"? 😭😭😭
How do boundaries and love go together? 😢
I always seem to seek unavailable partners somehow. Physically unavailable partners.
I’m so confused right now! I have no idea who I am. My favorite uncle past away on Friday so my adopted dad called me to tell me. My birth giver left me message this is she used their 1st names which I found comical. While talking to my dad which if I said all these means why is he calling me? She wants an apology for all the mean things I said. I told my dad I’m not apologizing for being born he thought that was funny, and her hypocorism, rude comments. She forgot. Blah, blah! I’m my ground and it feels fantastic. Makes me super sad at the same time. I’m so confused about everything. The one thing I wanted and a mother should be there for I knew she couldn’t be. She would laugh a me. Call me names. Which she those blows in the conversations. “I hope your not still dress in short skirts w/ass hanging out. Still wear dresses like the Kardasians? HUH? Why do you have such expensive taste. Been like that since you were little. Guess she never paid attention to any of my drawings? But she says this crap while I’m asking her about my childhood and I’m to apologize! Nope, My MS has progressed . Im going blind! There I said. Thanks for anyone’s time.