Jordan Schlansky Reviews Toilet Paper | Conan O'Brien Radio

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  • Опубліковано 13 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 3,9 тис.

  • @malkolm_kent4
    @malkolm_kent4 8 місяців тому +2015

    "I'm used to unusual looks for a variety of reasons. That never deters me"
    I love this man so much lol

    • @tjhall9377
      @tjhall9377 8 місяців тому +58

      Unusual looks for a variety of reasons while completing various tasks.

    • @jeremyc9593
      @jeremyc9593 8 місяців тому +40

      It's a strange freedom when one reaches this level of "IDGAF"

    • @OdourlessAunt
      @OdourlessAunt 8 місяців тому +11

      Yep, found him irritating at times but I've gotta say that won me over

    • @vikramkrishnan6414
      @vikramkrishnan6414 8 місяців тому +12

      @@tjhall9377 And preparing his body in various ways.

    • @mysterwhymedia
      @mysterwhymedia 6 місяців тому +4

      Someone at Team Coco PLEASE put this on a T-shirt.

  • @TDCC1Fan
    @TDCC1Fan 8 місяців тому +4724

    "Consumer Watchdog - Jordan Schlansky" needs to be a recurring segment lmao

    • @bandjolyn
      @bandjolyn 8 місяців тому +125

      I would watch every single episode.

    • @ms0824
      @ms0824 8 місяців тому +8

      ​@@bandjolynyep

    • @ChaosZero.
      @ChaosZero. 8 місяців тому +28

      They actually used to have one back in the late night days, all of the episodes are on UA-cam.

    • @Dildo_Baggins.
      @Dildo_Baggins. 8 місяців тому +2

      This ☝️

    • @joshcryer
      @joshcryer 8 місяців тому +13

      They've been working together for 30 years, I can imagine how this went down. Schlansky complained about the toilet paper changing and Conan's like "welp come on the show and talk about it." It's a really great bit. I mean not a bit. This is life.

  • @MrAceAwesome1
    @MrAceAwesome1 8 місяців тому +301

    "A person of your course visual perception would not even recognize the difference between a giant roll and a mega roll". What a burn holy crap.

  • @StatusMusicDesign
    @StatusMusicDesign 8 місяців тому +2213

    Jordan's guest bathroom logic is absolutely flawless. He's the champion of consideration we all need.

    • @falsemcnuggethope
      @falsemcnuggethope 8 місяців тому +70

      He does it so that he can monitor precisely how much tp his guests use.

    • @babthew
      @babthew 8 місяців тому +57

      i hate asking for tp

    • @soccermommyNPC
      @soccermommyNPC 8 місяців тому +35

      Completely agree. I like guests to not have to potentially ask. And not all people are comfortable using a bidet!

    • @rwhirsch
      @rwhirsch 8 місяців тому +19

      ageed. i start to get nervous if i look under the sink and there's only 2 rolls left. 6 is a good number for peace of mind.

    • @MusikCassette
      @MusikCassette 8 місяців тому +1

      @@soccermommyNPC a bidet does not replace toilet paper

  • @chrissantucci1279
    @chrissantucci1279 8 місяців тому +7391

    Let's face it: Many of us are more excited to see a video where Jordan reviews toilet paper than we are to see Conan interview an A lister.

    • @EDHCollector
      @EDHCollector 8 місяців тому +178

      This! Best comment of the week and 100% accurate!

    • @mi5anthrope
      @mi5anthrope 8 місяців тому +130

      Listening to Conan talk to someone like Schlansky or Keavin Nealon about absolute nonsense is somehow the funniest stuff I've ever heard in a way I don't really know how to describe.

    • @jeremyr4964
      @jeremyr4964 8 місяців тому +74

      I honestly wish every episode was this

    • @justgonzothegreat
      @justgonzothegreat 8 місяців тому +70

      The Jordan show and the chill chums bits are probably the best stuff Conan has done in the last 5 years. Scrap the celebrity interviews

    • @muumarlin1731
      @muumarlin1731 8 місяців тому +69

      100%. I find the A-lister interviews the least interesting aspect of the podcast. Unless it's someone with whom there's insane comedic chemistry.

  • @KyleReitan
    @KyleReitan 8 місяців тому +928

    A fresh 6 pack of sealed charmin in the guest bath is a baller move.

    • @MusikCassette
      @MusikCassette 8 місяців тому +10

      actually if it is not branded that is even better

    • @WindFireAllThatKindOfThing
      @WindFireAllThatKindOfThing 7 місяців тому +15

      @@MusikCassette Single Ply....the Brownfinger Maker

    • @MusikCassette
      @MusikCassette 7 місяців тому +1

      @@WindFireAllThatKindOfThing wtf?

    • @WindFireAllThatKindOfThing
      @WindFireAllThatKindOfThing 7 місяців тому +7

      @@MusikCassette You never encountered the kind of single ply toilet paper the Government gets before? Unbranded (lighthouse for the blind), paper wrapped, single ply

    • @MusikCassette
      @MusikCassette 7 місяців тому

      @@WindFireAllThatKindOfThing did you watch the vid?

  • @TheBabyDumbo
    @TheBabyDumbo 8 місяців тому +1493

    I love it when Conan just sits there quietly, looking at Jordan with slight amusement mixed in with disgust and disbelief.

    • @alamandrax
      @alamandrax 8 місяців тому +33

      Was the perfect opportunity for you to deploy “bemused”.

    • @TheBabyDumbo
      @TheBabyDumbo 8 місяців тому +5

      @@alamandrax I guess I was too bemused to think of that after having watched the video.

    • @AndroidPoetry
      @AndroidPoetry 8 місяців тому

      Quilted Northern Ultra Plush is the only 3-play TP I can reliably find, therefore it is my GOAT toilet paper

    • @Dee-x9f
      @Dee-x9f 8 місяців тому +7

      @@alamandrax I think you might want to look up the definition of "bemused." It means bewildered, baffled, confused, dazed. I think the word you're looking for is nonplussed, another word people get wrong all the time. Signed, Jordan Schansky

    • @dragonsdynamite6403
      @dragonsdynamite6403 8 місяців тому +3

      Him staying quiet is one of the best things about his videos.

  • @burkles4456
    @burkles4456 8 місяців тому +1672

    Schlansky is 100% right about the 6 rolls of new TP for guests. Its very classy and thoughtful. Conan was raised like an animal.

    • @MarcKloos
      @MarcKloos 8 місяців тому +80

      Like a Neanderthaler (where "thal" is the German word for "valley" and since the "th" sound doesn't exist in German it's pronounced as a "tawl").

    • @averykal
      @averykal 8 місяців тому +32

      It’s such a strong move, definitely appreciated

    • @rinnin
      @rinnin 8 місяців тому +50

      We know that’s you replying Incognito Jordan!

    • @TubaraoCK6
      @TubaraoCK6 8 місяців тому +31

      in europe it’s very common to have dedicated toiletries, sheets, towels etc. for guests which is very thoughtful & inviting. americans don’t do this & I never understand why

    • @GrandTheftLogan
      @GrandTheftLogan 8 місяців тому +7

      All of this could've been avoided if Neil didn't take the last Pop-Tart.

  • @jaanas3657
    @jaanas3657 3 місяці тому +55

    16:32 ”First of all, I don’t use toilet paper the way you think I do.” I’m dead 😂

  • @jayynagar
    @jayynagar 8 місяців тому +887

    "If you are that person. I've got you covered." - Jordan Schlansky
    What a bro! Truly prepared himself in various ways!

  • @nimflower
    @nimflower 8 місяців тому +1285

    On a level, I feel like Jordan Schlansky could possibly be one of the most trustworthy and reliable people

    • @NyolateAMV
      @NyolateAMV 8 місяців тому +52

      He's just a very well-OILED robot

    • @WholeWhiteBaby
      @WholeWhiteBaby 8 місяців тому +3

      What a psychopath!

    • @nimflower
      @nimflower 8 місяців тому +2

      @@WholeWhiteBaby man said what a psychopath I'm weaaaak😭🤣😂

    • @-Ricky_Spanish-
      @-Ricky_Spanish- 8 місяців тому +33

      I feel like's secretly a comedic genius too. Everyone including himself claims he's not playing a character, which means he's just naturally hilarious in the most unconventional of ways. I'm pretty sure he plays it up though.

    • @nimflower
      @nimflower 8 місяців тому +12

      @@-Ricky_Spanish- he reminds me a little of Sheldon cooper, a little 😭😂

  • @EnoVarma
    @EnoVarma 8 місяців тому +112

    Jordan is the king. This is how an associate producer is supposed to think, he has that mindset. He is the jedi of AP mindset.

  • @roguesample
    @roguesample 8 місяців тому +413

    “I’m used to unusual looks for a variety of reasons, that never deters me”
    “Of course”
    god bless these two

  • @rvt2239
    @rvt2239 8 місяців тому +2990

    Anal erosion is honestly my number 1 concern right now.

    • @loveoffilm4327
      @loveoffilm4327 8 місяців тому +275

      Dr Arroyo is a great specialist for that issue

    • @daeseongkim93
      @daeseongkim93 8 місяців тому +93

      @@loveoffilm4327 went to doctor school for sure

    • @seth6691
      @seth6691 8 місяців тому

      If you’re actually serious,… have you felt your butthole? It’s not “eroded” away… toilet paper isn’t dense, coarse, or strong enough to “errode” away your skin. The clothes we wear have much more capabilities to “erode”. Don’t listen to Jordan’s “non science”. I agree with him on some things, but he is often completely false.

    • @outlander234
      @outlander234 8 місяців тому +30

      @@loveoffilm4327 And he uses bathroom tissue for your issue.

    • @Frank.E.Valley
      @Frank.E.Valley 8 місяців тому +33

      @@loveoffilm4327 great for a first opinion, sure

  • @martinrs1254
    @martinrs1254 8 місяців тому +139

    Pretty much everything Jordan said during 20 minutes straight is highly quotable, he's a genius.

  • @bowska910
    @bowska910 8 місяців тому +536

    “6 rolls is enough to comfort people” is both the most absurd and truest statement I’ve ever heard

    • @ideamonkey
      @ideamonkey 8 місяців тому +10

      If I went to a house and there were 6 rolls of toilet paper on display, it would actually leave me with questions.

    • @sakar181
      @sakar181 8 місяців тому +5

      There's 2 spare rolls on the toilet along with the one in use in my bathroom. That's the minimum.
      You don't want to be caught off guard.

    • @ChristelVinot
      @ChristelVinot 6 місяців тому +5

      @@ideamonkey not me. I would TOTALLY get it.

    • @baganzabaganza2826
      @baganzabaganza2826 6 місяців тому +4

      @@ChristelVinotyou know what, when you absolutely need it, you ABSOLUTELY need it. So I get Jordan on this

    • @ChristelVinot
      @ChristelVinot 6 місяців тому +2

      @@baganzabaganza2826 I don't even use toilet paper and I get it.

  • @CLuvTV
    @CLuvTV 8 місяців тому +779

    "I survive not by strength but by adaptability" nice

    • @IAmTurbogfx
      @IAmTurbogfx 8 місяців тому +21

      Mind the determined look in his eyes while he said that!

    • @march8482
      @march8482 8 місяців тому +8

      Actually a very good life lesson. Keep learning, keep adapting.

  • @rubeng3
    @rubeng3 6 місяців тому +42

    5:07 Conan SEVERELY underestimates how much we enjoy listening to Jordan talk about his various things! (and just the content involving him in general.)

    • @YaWantTaters
      @YaWantTaters Місяць тому

      True although he's right about one thing: some of us really need LOTS of help lol

  • @duckfestdude
    @duckfestdude 8 місяців тому +357

    Jordan rolled this out way further than I thought possible. Surprisingly absorbing and layered.

  • @Xbitrate
    @Xbitrate 8 місяців тому +1580

    Tarantino himself couldn't write as good dialogue as this. This is gold.

    • @bobdobbs6969
      @bobdobbs6969 8 місяців тому +5

      BOOTY CALLS! ONE ROLL TO RULE THEM ALL! BOSS PREMIUM QUALITY EMBOSSED TOILET PAPER - MADE IN LA - WHERE IT PAYS TO BE BOSS!

    • @deathlarsen7502
      @deathlarsen7502 8 місяців тому +3

      superb call!

    • @mediocreman2
      @mediocreman2 7 місяців тому +7

      You're right, Tarantino blows. If he wrote this everyone would be dead in 4 seconds.

    • @steviemac2681
      @steviemac2681 7 місяців тому +2

      @@mediocreman2 yeah but then we'd see the 20 minutes building up to it.

    • @benpdr10
      @benpdr10 7 місяців тому +8

      Stolen comment from the train video with Conan and Jordan, but good for you

  • @BuzzMashy
    @BuzzMashy 7 місяців тому +35

    At the 11 minute mark Jordan says, "wait, let me get this out" after talking nonstop for 11 minutes straight. Lol

  • @stevenqirkle
    @stevenqirkle 8 місяців тому +308

    “I’m saying if you are that person, I got you covered”. Conan could stand to learn a thing or two about compassion from this beautiful man.

    • @azhyhama9649
      @azhyhama9649 Місяць тому +2

      He is all about inclusive values 🤣

  • @MAC-op5fc
    @MAC-op5fc 8 місяців тому +390

    I've lived 63 years and have never, in totality, discussed toilet paper for 21.33 minutes. But I watched every second of this and laughed a lot, so thanks!

    • @rwhirsch
      @rwhirsch 8 місяців тому

      next topic...tampons..hopefully

    • @theduckfromthejoke152
      @theduckfromthejoke152 8 місяців тому +4

      You just watched an advertisement longer.Then a half hour t v show without advertisements... Your life is now complete

    • @frostneedle
      @frostneedle 7 місяців тому +2

      True. Jokes aside, as a consumer who is always looking for the best value, whatever they talked about is useful to know.

    • @theduckfromthejoke152
      @theduckfromthejoke152 7 місяців тому +1

      @@frostneedle Spoken like someone who believes the karate kid 2 was filmed in japan

  • @vinjass
    @vinjass 8 місяців тому +18

    This was the most insane podcast I've seen and I loved every second of it.
    I wanna see more of Jordan vs the toilet paper mafia

  • @Joel-tv2tt
    @Joel-tv2tt 8 місяців тому +1179

    As someone who also uses toilet paper to blow my nose I appreciate such in-depth insights from Jordan.

    • @wahahabuh
      @wahahabuh 8 місяців тому +39

      i do too lol, it's so much cheaper than face tissues. They all go in the bin after use anyway.

    • @Joel-tv2tt
      @Joel-tv2tt 8 місяців тому +15

      @wahahabuh Not only cheaper but more efficient, the sheer amount of times that I could not find a face tissue while having a cold or other nose excretion has taught me to keep a roll of toilet paper handy just for such occasions.
      Also, should the worst happen, where I have misplaced the backup toilet paper AND the tissues, I know that there is a safe haven of soft cleansing rolled-up tissues in the bathroom.

    • @HalogMA
      @HalogMA 8 місяців тому +3

      Do people not know about paper towels? I use nice toilet paper for toilet related business and cheap paper towels for blowing my nose, cleaning up spills, etc.

    • @wyskass861
      @wyskass861 8 місяців тому +30

      @@HalogMA Paper towels are usually more rough and thick for the nose, and don't usually come with the "lotion" to decrease friction.

    • @asukaknightmare8904
      @asukaknightmare8904 8 місяців тому +6

      No matter how soft the toilet paper is, it's definitely not suited for the nose and will only damage it. If you're sick or have allergies you'll become painfully aware of that.

  • @borislugosi54
    @borislugosi54 8 місяців тому +273

    "Any physicist would know that the use of toilet paper involves friction" 😂

  • @sabrmagician
    @sabrmagician 8 місяців тому +22

    3:02 this is a classic schlansky tone/delivery when hes making a ridiculous point and he knows it lol

  • @Rocketmanrun
    @Rocketmanrun 8 місяців тому +202

    I love the bit where Conan acts like the audience will hate this, when in reality he knows so well that this is what we come for. Comedy gold 😂

  • @mikecronis
    @mikecronis 8 місяців тому +636

    You're not losing listeners, you're GAINING them! Jordan is Conan's, "Midas". PURE GOLD maker! I could hear them go on and on for hours intently.

    • @zacharywhite211
      @zacharywhite211 8 місяців тому +31

      There isn't a single bad video or boring video that features these two. It's amazing.

    • @TheBoxNasty
      @TheBoxNasty 8 місяців тому +16

      I would love a travel show with just them exploring

    • @ms0824
      @ms0824 8 місяців тому +5

      Literally, I could just put them on and go about my day working.

    • @ChaosZero.
      @ChaosZero. 8 місяців тому +2

      @@TheBoxNasty They did that, it's called Italy.

    • @TheBoxNasty
      @TheBoxNasty 8 місяців тому +1

      @@ChaosZero. not quite what I want but okay

  • @johnnybravo5726
    @johnnybravo5726 7 місяців тому +10

    "To echo what you said-" I LOVE this guy 0:23

  • @TakenTook
    @TakenTook 8 місяців тому +528

    Other than his pronunciation of the word "urine" he is completely correct about every aspect of this conversation

    • @r_bear
      @r_bear 8 місяців тому +37

      this is basically true of every single Jordan segment

    • @jbre7233
      @jbre7233 8 місяців тому +1

      I need to know if he added Kirkland brand TP into the mix.

    • @TakenTook
      @TakenTook 8 місяців тому

      @@jbre7233 -- IMO, Kirkland is the perfect combination of strength, effectiveness, and flushability. Angel Soft is probably my second favorite with those qualities.
      Charmin and most of the other "premium" brands are actually TOO thick, and if you have small children, or just are not careful, it's easy to clog the toilet.
      Scott is too thin (and does not "grip" as well as other brands either, if you catch my drift) so you have to use more of it to get the job done. But if you have someone in the house who is notorious for clogging toilets, that's a good one to put in that person's bathroom.
      Like Jordan Schlansky, I have overly detailed opinions on such matters lol

    • @karltobar2810
      @karltobar2810 8 місяців тому +3

      Eh, I've heard it both ways

    • @MusikCassette
      @MusikCassette 8 місяців тому +3

      not really. the universal use of toilet paper for all cleaning paper purposes is an improvisation, not a good solution.

  • @joeslider6663
    @joeslider6663 8 місяців тому +413

    A 20+ minute dissertation on toilet paper by Jordan Schlansky. I would gladly pay any admission fee to hear this, but its free and we have to thank Conan for bringing this modern day philosopher and renaissance man to the world.
    That last sentence was just random words arranged in no particular order😂

    • @mtvesguerra
      @mtvesguerra 8 місяців тому +3

      I’ve watched this video 3x straight and that’s an hour of my life I’m never getting back, but I absolutely don’t mind it at all ❤❤❤❤

  • @sammalik128
    @sammalik128 6 місяців тому +5

    For me, in comedy, Conan’s interactions with Jordan are some of the funniest moments of all time. They always put a smile on my face.

  • @timsantiago
    @timsantiago 8 місяців тому +1416

    I’ve seen a lot of Jordan’s commentary, and I still can’t tell if he’s playing a character or just has a rigid, eccentric personality. Either way, he’s fascinating.

    • @lawbinson
      @lawbinson 8 місяців тому +535

      It’s definitely a combination of both. You can’t fake the knowledge. But, you can amp up the character.

    • @m.j.n.808
      @m.j.n.808 8 місяців тому +194

      I think he's like that but plays it up for the camera

    • @sew75962
      @sew75962 8 місяців тому +131

      Watch the Argentina episode of Conan O’Brien must go. Jordan breaks and just can’t seem to get back on track. It’s delightful!

    • @joellim7521
      @joellim7521 8 місяців тому +33

      he's the most method actor ever.. better than daniel day lewis and joaquin phoenix..

    • @mytube001
      @mytube001 8 місяців тому +65

      Look at the very earliest bits with Jordan. He's clearly more relaxed and easy-going there than later when he has adopted the exaggerated persona. He smiles and has normal reactions. He clearly understands what sides of his personality work well with Conan's humor, and brings them to the fore in these interactions, supressing (sometimes unsuccessfully) his more normal and relaxed sides.

  • @-Ricky_Spanish-
    @-Ricky_Spanish- 8 місяців тому +789

    "So when I travel, I don't have access to my bamboo toilet stool". These are real words that came out of a person's mouth.

    • @jdm9251
      @jdm9251 8 місяців тому +49

      I hate to say it but he's right... once you use the pooping stool you never go back

    • @GGoAwayy
      @GGoAwayy 8 місяців тому +22

      @@jdm9251 In university in the engineering building all the foreign students from a few specific countries had a habit of squatting down over the toilet, with their feet up on the toilet seat. The massive ker-plunks, and messes eventually caused the university to put signs in the stalls saying no feet are allowed on the seats. They grew up using squat toilets and couldnt stand the thought of touching their butts to the seats.

    • @Babe.Ruth.In.Beirut
      @Babe.Ruth.In.Beirut 8 місяців тому +1

      And we love him for it.

    • @StatusMusicDesign
      @StatusMusicDesign 8 місяців тому +7

      I have a bamboo toilet stool. He's right.

    • @floki-man
      @floki-man 8 місяців тому +7

      Fortunately, you can put your feet on extra toilet paper rolls to elevate your feet. Or ball up dirty laundry for a step.

  • @suranjana9625
    @suranjana9625 5 місяців тому +6

    I could listen to his rant all fricking day

  • @Supremekaibiz
    @Supremekaibiz 8 місяців тому +442

    Jordan yelling his explanations makes it 100 X better. 😂

    • @blg8505
      @blg8505 8 місяців тому

      ORIENTING THE PUBA RECTALIS MUSCLE

    • @afghanrocky
      @afghanrocky 8 місяців тому +5

      If that were his real personality 💀💀💀

    • @mw-cf5dr
      @mw-cf5dr 8 місяців тому +3

      @@afghanrocky I think it is 💝

  • @acmb6763
    @acmb6763 8 місяців тому +520

    “Mineralize the countertop” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @ethanpintar5454
      @ethanpintar5454 8 місяців тому +12

      I bet Jordan likes mineralizing his countertop

    • @Fryether
      @Fryether 8 місяців тому +25

      That one is reasonable if you live in an area with hard water

    • @FiKAYOsipe
      @FiKAYOsipe 8 місяців тому

      💀

    • @Rose-l7n1x
      @Rose-l7n1x 8 місяців тому

      Came outta left field

    • @palaceofwisdom9448
      @palaceofwisdom9448 8 місяців тому +10

      A mineral ring has formed on my sink underneath where the bottle of hand soap resides. Nothing short of dynamite would ever remove it. It's a real problem.

  • @viz8746
    @viz8746 8 місяців тому +3

    Schlansky can produce and present - he's great behind the show and in front of it. Whole entire package! Invaluable!

  • @adamplace1414
    @adamplace1414 8 місяців тому +148

    This has been quite a couple of weeks in the UA-cam Conanverse. Hot Ones, the recap afterwards, Dr. Arroyo returning, and all the Jimmy Carr clips to boot - and now we get the return of Jordan. You spoil us sir.

  • @OGS2099
    @OGS2099 8 місяців тому +429

    I want Jordan and Conan everyday. Give them a show, I need this regularly

    • @chisairaccoon1931
      @chisairaccoon1931 8 місяців тому +18

      boy, do I have news for you

    • @martinrabenalt1578
      @martinrabenalt1578 8 місяців тому

      this is regularly

    • @TheBoxNasty
      @TheBoxNasty 8 місяців тому +1

      @@chisairaccoon1931what? This is only on radio :(

    • @OGS2099
      @OGS2099 8 місяців тому +4

      @@martinrabenalt1578 No, it isn't. He's only a feature. I want a regular segment, daily...I need MORE

    • @EthanWombat13-om1en
      @EthanWombat13-om1en 8 місяців тому +12

      we need a podcast where these characters are with Conan:
      Jordan Schlansky
      Kevin Nealon
      Dr. Arroyo

  • @CSG97
    @CSG97 8 місяців тому +102

    As someone with Crohn’s disease I feel very heard by Jordan and moving forward I’m not sure I can listen to Conan in the same way after finding that he is so ableist against the interests of the gastricly handicapped community. Thank you Jordan; be better Conan.
    Erodedly yours from Florida

    • @clairematheson8030
      @clairematheson8030 8 місяців тому +5

      As a fellow Crohny, I second this sentiment!

    • @michellelocke8379
      @michellelocke8379 7 місяців тому +11

      In Conans defense, I truly believe if it was anyone else he would be a great listener and ask questions. This is Jordan Schlansky, this man is insane. He is screaming about toilet paper.
      Thank you for sharing though being seen, no matter how insane the representation. Ableism is an issue in many respects. I'm sorry it was just Jordan.

    • @benpdr10
      @benpdr10 7 місяців тому +7

      It’s good you feel heard. But you have to remember, this is just for entertainment but also to teach. Most of this is exaggerated for comedic bits. Conan and Jordan have always had this back and forth, it’s just the chemistry. Conan is a very good person and will hear anyone out, just like the other comment said

    • @CSG97
      @CSG97 7 місяців тому +4

      I will find no rest until Conan has reaped what he has sewn

    • @multiplemike5021
      @multiplemike5021 4 місяці тому +3

      @@CSG97 Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.

  • @burntmarshwigglestudio597
    @burntmarshwigglestudio597 8 місяців тому +229

    I've never heard Jordan say "listen to me" this much 🤣 he's taking this so seriously hahaha

  • @Based_n_Boredpilled
    @Based_n_Boredpilled 8 місяців тому +423

    We all know Jordan only uses a bidet that sprays only authentic Italian spring water.

    • @ferociousfrankie
      @ferociousfrankie 8 місяців тому

      Exactly, this is just BS product placement.

    • @irlandairlandes6938
      @irlandairlandes6938 8 місяців тому +3

      Right? Just what I thought. Impossible, this man doesn’t care about TP.

    • @lindz758
      @lindz758 8 місяців тому +4

      Exactly, he's far too pretentious to use TP

    • @ferociousfrankie
      @ferociousfrankie 8 місяців тому +7

      @@lindz758 I wouldn't say not using tp is pretentious. Most of the world washes its ass.

    • @NyolateAMV
      @NyolateAMV 8 місяців тому +3

      He has a bidet built-in inside his body. No batteries needed.

  • @stradius
    @stradius 7 місяців тому +23

    I would watch a weekly Jordan Schlansky review show.

  • @alastair9870
    @alastair9870 8 місяців тому +505

    Jordan and Dr. Arroyo need to have a deep talk about Jordan's health in good detail.

    • @BuRiedNBlo0d
      @BuRiedNBlo0d 8 місяців тому +17

      I could listen to that all day

    • @miguelvelez7221
      @miguelvelez7221 8 місяців тому +9

      We're not ready for that.

    • @gilliganmcneuter4550
      @gilliganmcneuter4550 8 місяців тому +6

      Brilliant! That woud be so good!
      Team Coco, please? 😊

    • @nettabeatty950
      @nettabeatty950 8 місяців тому +3

      Yes that would be fantastic

    • @alastair9870
      @alastair9870 8 місяців тому +3

      The body hair, the whey and oat shake, cytogainer, the closed barrel with smores pop tarts, tooth and gum tonic, 156 ounces of water a day.
      ALL OF IT!!!!!!

  • @ihaveacar
    @ihaveacar 8 місяців тому +153

    My favorite thing is when even Jordan knows what he's saying is rediculous but just can't stop himself. Losing listeners? I could literally watch a 3 hour movie of these 2 just talking to each other. Conan gets so mad that the dude is just so effortlessly hilarious without even trying by being himself.

    • @johnnyhelge1743
      @johnnyhelge1743 8 місяців тому +2

      I get it. It's like he knows what he's saying makes sense but it just sounds ridiculous

  • @Bucketlistgamer8787
    @Bucketlistgamer8787 3 місяці тому +9

    I love when Jordan gets so worked up his hometown accent comes out. Sounds just like my uncle Lenny lol

  • @vansolo12
    @vansolo12 8 місяців тому +214

    Watching Conan and Jordan discuss toilet paper proves I will literally watch Conan and Jordan do anything.

    • @timsantiago
      @timsantiago 8 місяців тому +9

      I had that realization during Jordan’s review of Japanese nose hair trimmers. 😂

    • @vansolo12
      @vansolo12 8 місяців тому +2

      @@timsantiago Same! 🤣

    • @VeeAmericanEagle
      @VeeAmericanEagle 8 місяців тому +1

      You’re not the only one. Def me too 😂❤

  • @BlackedOutDreams
    @BlackedOutDreams 8 місяців тому +264

    Babe wake up! New Schlansky banger just dropped 🔥🔥

  • @jonaspwnas
    @jonaspwnas 29 днів тому +1

    I need more of this. More Jordan on Conan!!

  • @RCJH2022
    @RCJH2022 8 місяців тому +223

    “Aesthetically speaking, I like to surround myself with beauty.” *LOOK AT HIS OFFICE*. 😂😂😂

    • @bananasaboutmovies
      @bananasaboutmovies 8 місяців тому +10

      I was thinking the same thing when he said that! His office from previous clips is a pig sty. 🐷😆

    • @mithrandir491
      @mithrandir491 8 місяців тому +5

      yeah, he isn't really passionate about his work.

    • @nd2705
      @nd2705 8 місяців тому +5

      Ascetic refers to a person who lives like a monk, with very few possessions. The word is aesthetic.

    • @dinazwitscher9872
      @dinazwitscher9872 8 місяців тому

      Lol good point. Wtf was that

    • @RCJH2022
      @RCJH2022 8 місяців тому +4

      @@nd2705 Thanks Jordan! It was Auto correct but I’ll fix it for you.

  • @adi9296
    @adi9296 8 місяців тому +130

    I actually appreciate the level of foresight and consideration Jordan has for the comfort of his guests.

  • @MrTenad
    @MrTenad 8 місяців тому +4

    I laughed out loud from 7:00 onwards till the end. This genious man has really thought of everything. He is well prepared and generously extends his wisdom to serve his guests and all of their bathroom related needs.
    ...and yes, I'm obviously referring to Jordan Schlansky here!

  • @thvlio
    @thvlio 8 місяців тому +158

    Putting his exaggerations for the sake of entertainment aside, Jordan is so relatable to me. He may seem too weird to be real for some people but I bet many neurodivergents know exactly what he's talking about every time he's on screen. And I really wanna get to his confidence level where you don't really care if people find some behaviors off-putting in some way, you just brush it off and move on. The fact that he's married and has children actually inspires me somewhat. Anyway rant over you da best Jordan

    • @paradise_valley
      @paradise_valley 8 місяців тому +8

      more than being neurodivergent he definitely speaks to everyones small eccentricities - but the more mundane ones (distinct from the ones Conan amps up). that said, why isn't this video about bidets?

    • @thvlio
      @thvlio 8 місяців тому +5

      ​@@paradise_valley I think he's trying to point out that good toilet paper has many uses even for a person that uses a bidet such as himself. Like cleaning your nose, your ears, any part of your body with the least possible skin irritation, various surfaces around your house, spills, making guests confortable, etc (which, to me, are perfectly valid use cases)

    • @jackelewish1568
      @jackelewish1568 8 місяців тому +9

      Exactly, whatever Jordan has I think I have too. Lol. I'm completely serious. Maybe he doesn't "have" anything but we need to accept some people are just a little different but it doesn't make us bad or even a nuisance necessarily. In fact you need people like us in many situations!

    • @thvlio
      @thvlio 8 місяців тому +4

      ​@@jackelewish1568 Yes! It's just the way we are, and it's not like we have a choice. Not all brains are wired equal. I don't mean to presume but I would bet Jordan is a good problem solver with good attention to detail and that he's actually a good fit for his job

    • @kittenmittensb1z138
      @kittenmittensb1z138 8 місяців тому +1

      He has kids ?

  • @AwesomeWilly968
    @AwesomeWilly968 8 місяців тому +118

    I really watched and listened for 21 minutes about toilet paper. But conan and schlansky, man what a duo. It was actually entertaining lol

    • @GGoAwayy
      @GGoAwayy 8 місяців тому +9

      The weirder thing for me is that as Im listening Im realizing I really do agree with Jordan about this important issue.

    • @ms0824
      @ms0824 8 місяців тому

      ​@@GGoAwayysame

  • @nathankucera9135
    @nathankucera9135 2 місяці тому +1

    More of this please.

  • @Theos1919
    @Theos1919 8 місяців тому +109

    This is the most unhinged and passionate i've seen jordan lmao

  • @CuriousPug12
    @CuriousPug12 8 місяців тому +63

    You can see the sparks in Jordan's eyes when someone asks about his interest and he explains it so detail with all the intricacies, he could spend hours talking about it.
    His nose trimming tool, his toilet paper, his lego, etc
    He really LOVES it😂
    And Conan let him roll with it

    • @Tonyhouse1168
      @Tonyhouse1168 8 місяців тому +1

      The joy of bidets for “human soil”..

  • @jwbowen
    @jwbowen 3 місяці тому +1

    I have listened to all of this multiple times.
    I would listen to hours of Jordan talking about all of the products and processes he uses to prepare his body in various ways.

  • @donaffluent
    @donaffluent 8 місяців тому +80

    Oh! I sincerely lost it at “you-reen” Jordan you did it again 😂

  • @myself_yuvraj
    @myself_yuvraj 8 місяців тому +84

    I just watched two fully grown adults having a 20 minutes long heated discussion over the toilet paper and LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT!!!

  • @JohnBrown-vo8dn
    @JohnBrown-vo8dn Місяць тому

    I think this is my favorite clip of the podcast! It's simply amazing. The passion and love for charmin toilet paper is the best!

  • @BiGsImY
    @BiGsImY 8 місяців тому +172

    lol Conan with Jordan is an absolute riot!

    • @zacharywhite211
      @zacharywhite211 8 місяців тому +5

      I see Conan and Jordan in a video. I click. Simple

  • @thatguyyoudontknow
    @thatguyyoudontknow 8 місяців тому +89

    These are gold. Only Jordan can take 22 minutes to talk about toilet paper. Conan is just in disbelief. Comedy. Gold.

  • @IgnatiusAlpha
    @IgnatiusAlpha Місяць тому +1

    This is the longest video I have ever watched on toilet paper and I loved it all the way to the end. Well done.

  • @peterdelisle7083
    @peterdelisle7083 8 місяців тому +241

    I would love to see what a Jordan Schlansky written self help book would look like

    • @toughbail456
      @toughbail456 8 місяців тому +15

      That's a million dollar idea, lol.

    • @scottwells8064
      @scottwells8064 8 місяців тому +26

      "I researched these topics in various ways."

    • @maddyhall4171
      @maddyhall4171 8 місяців тому +5

      That would be a thick book

    • @drey6255
      @drey6255 8 місяців тому +1

      Would be a good tandem read to Sona's book!

    • @borisivanovmusic
      @borisivanovmusic 8 місяців тому +1

      Audiobook

  • @drey6255
    @drey6255 8 місяців тому +55

    Jordan: * smiles *
    Conan: What's wrong with your face?

  • @codyloveless7077
    @codyloveless7077 7 місяців тому

    I absolutely love these segments. More please with Jordan and products!!!

  • @obstn81
    @obstn81 8 місяців тому +93

    Why Jordan doesn’t have his own show or podcast is beyond me. He is the most entertaining thing ever. By the way, I just bought two cases of charmin ultra gentle on his recommendation.

    • @spinblackcircles
      @spinblackcircles 8 місяців тому +6

      Because he wouldn’t be nearly as funny without Conan there to ridicule him in disbelief. Jordan by himself would just be him ranting about stuff no one cares about with no jokes lol

    • @AshesMarieLuvsMakeup
      @AshesMarieLuvsMakeup 4 місяці тому

      I only like him for Conan’s reactions.

  • @Abesta83
    @Abesta83 8 місяців тому +89

    "coarse visual perception" 🤣@6:55 I'm stealing that!

    • @outlander234
      @outlander234 8 місяців тому +13

      Someone needs to do compilation of these sophisticated backhanded compliments Jordan gave Conan over the years.

    • @PigDan
      @PigDan 8 місяців тому +2

      ​​@@outlander234 That sounds like fun to edit but the hardest part is downloading the clips, rewatching them all and making notes of the timestamps

    • @immortaltyger1569
      @immortaltyger1569 8 місяців тому +1

      @@outlander234 I think it was the exact opposite of a compliment, as in someone who goes through life never seeing the rich details of toilet paper.

  • @harshwardhanchaturvedi1310
    @harshwardhanchaturvedi1310 6 місяців тому +2

    This is one of the funniest videos I've ever watched ... brought me to tears of laughter. Thank you Conan and Jordan for this piece of comedy gold 🙇🙇

  • @14231ashley
    @14231ashley 8 місяців тому +42

    Jordan is incredibly relatable to me and connan is fantastic because he embodies everything I am not. I love people that don't process small things in an overly serious manner and overthink every single action. Watching Connan and Jordan interact feels like placing a magnifying glass on how I am perceived by others, lol.

  • @upinarms79
    @upinarms79 8 місяців тому +37

    Jordan is pure comedic gold. It's not that he's wrong... he usually isn't, he's just one of the most pedantic human beings on the planet... but toilet paper doesn't go bad and if you've got a place to store it, buying in bulk is smart.

  • @rexstetson1717
    @rexstetson1717 6 місяців тому +1

    “I’m used to unusual looks for a variety of reasons.”
    I love Jordan. 💕

  • @2frungjung
    @2frungjung 8 місяців тому +57

    “You freak, you freak, you freak” 😂 I love Jordan

  • @mattmack3505
    @mattmack3505 8 місяців тому +57

    Jordan and Connan really just had a 21 minute conversation about toilet paper 😂. Love it

  • @moebiusdune1115
    @moebiusdune1115 5 місяців тому +1

    Jordan❤
    Love and support from Croatia 🎉😂❤

  • @nnjjee1
    @nnjjee1 8 місяців тому +110

    “A person of your course visual perception…” 😂😂😂

  • @Rayofsunshine923
    @Rayofsunshine923 8 місяців тому +70

    Jordan is the most smartest person I have ever seen. Honestly, he may come of strong and weird but he does make valid and sound argument. Somebody give Jordan his Peabody award for contributing to humanity so much and imparting his knowledge

    • @JoeUrbanYYC
      @JoeUrbanYYC 8 місяців тому +6

      That's one thing about Jordan, no matter what you think of his presentation, what he's saying is often right.

  • @thegoat6147
    @thegoat6147 7 місяців тому

    @21:16 that Jordan ear to ear grin while soaking in the complimentary words. Never seen Jordan more happier except for that time he found out he's going to Italy

  • @photography8023
    @photography8023 8 місяців тому +24

    I just love how Jordans voice increases in volume the more he talks about the marketing injustices of toilet paper. 8:15

  • @makeadifference4all
    @makeadifference4all 8 місяців тому +33

    “Toilet paper is a big part of my life” is my newest favorite Schlanskyism.

  • @Scott-Andy
    @Scott-Andy 8 місяців тому +1

    Conan & Jordan our outstanding together. And it keeps getting better and better. Brilliant episode. ❤

  • @user-ke8vk8bo4j
    @user-ke8vk8bo4j 8 місяців тому +48

    In the past, Conan and Jordan could've spent a whole show, 21 minutes of just this on TBS and the ratings would go through the roof.

  • @Rose-l7n1x
    @Rose-l7n1x 8 місяців тому +52

    “I’m used to unusual looks for a VaRiEtY of reasons. That never deters me.” I think I love Jordan because he is the opposite of what happens to people after spending 20 years in Hollywood.

  • @ShujinPJ
    @ShujinPJ 3 місяці тому +1

    what an incredibly funny guy to come on and be so funny and be willing to laugh at himself

  • @Andreas_Constantinou
    @Andreas_Constantinou 8 місяців тому +29

    We need a "Conan o'brien must go" episode where it takes place entirely inside Jordan Schlansky's house

  • @AndrewAlex92
    @AndrewAlex92 8 місяців тому +26

    "Discharge" had me laughing so much harder than I ever expected it to. I love any and all interactions with Jordan and how Conan gets when he's around

    • @Jazzygirl5
      @Jazzygirl5 8 місяців тому

      He hit me with erosion then u-reen then discharge 😂

  • @petroidau
    @petroidau 8 місяців тому +4

    When Jordan starts talking about cleaning the sink and toilet rim and I'm just like AMEN BROTHER

  • @Rotund_Panda_Pants
    @Rotund_Panda_Pants 8 місяців тому +32

    This is one of the funniest, best interviews I have heard in a long time.
    Jordan and Conan are a priceless duo.

    • @Marshall_Stacks
      @Marshall_Stacks 8 місяців тому

      Priceless in this case equals zero value.

  • @jeremyamac
    @jeremyamac 8 місяців тому +27

    I have never seen Jordan this passionate about something. It's beautiful.

  • @achaoticproduction8968
    @achaoticproduction8968 7 місяців тому

    I absolutely love & miss Jordan Schlansky!! Fn hilarious!! 🤣🤣🤣

  • @Rose-l7n1x
    @Rose-l7n1x 8 місяців тому +52

    No one has noticed in almost every Jordan podcast, there’s a NEVERTHELESS moment

  • @spricket24
    @spricket24 8 місяців тому +33

    I never thought I'd see the day where Jordan and I see eye to eye 100% - he's just spitting facts - I keep TP in my car 😂

  • @aledragos9613
    @aledragos9613 8 місяців тому +5

    Jordan reviewing tp while being roasted by Conan is A tier content to me and is not even a discussion.

  • @andygonsalves2000
    @andygonsalves2000 8 місяців тому +13

    More of this please! Jordan Schlansky is amazing.

  • @mikedahuman
    @mikedahuman 8 місяців тому +18

    In Jordan's Defense, as a long time Conan fan, I watched the whole video through and loved it, the chemistry between you guys is hilarious.

  • @obuyWw
    @obuyWw 7 місяців тому +1

    12:12 jordan enthusiastically cracking everyone in the room 😂😂

  • @thecrazyhobo
    @thecrazyhobo 8 місяців тому +17

    Holy crap, I've never seen Jordan this animated and passionate about something! 😆 He REALLY takes his TP seriously! We need more Consumer Watchdog Jordan! He's a natural at it!

    • @paradise_valley
      @paradise_valley 8 місяців тому +1

      I thought he took bidets more seriously