What Happened To French? (Conlang Showcase)

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  • Опубліковано 29 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 221

  • @Vishanti
    @Vishanti Рік тому +136

    This channel is proof that there's a level of knowledge that drives humans insane

  • @Tacos_Sauce_Zea
    @Tacos_Sauce_Zea Рік тому +445

    I love the fact that 80% of that phonetic inventory is absolutely unpronounceable by the average french speaker

    • @katakana1
      @katakana1 Рік тому +73

      Or the average human, for that matter

    • @dominicdoherty7208
      @dominicdoherty7208 Рік тому

      @@katakana1bold to assume the ‘french’ are human

    • @freddyh2213
      @freddyh2213 Рік тому +58

      So, just like regular French?

    • @mew2knight337
      @mew2knight337 8 місяців тому +5

      c'est ce que je trouve totalement con

    • @fabulouschild2005
      @fabulouschild2005 7 місяців тому +14

      ​@@mew2knight337 Bro is speaking the language of ancients 🫵😮

  • @DontYouDareToCallMePolisz
    @DontYouDareToCallMePolisz Рік тому +84

    This language sounds like the language that villagers would speak

  • @Trolligi
    @Trolligi Рік тому +242

    As a speaker of French I can confirm this is true

  • @MicroBlogganism
    @MicroBlogganism Рік тому +99

    With Ultra French done, it's only a matter of time before we get a video on Mega Danish

    • @DontYouDareToCallMePolisz
      @DontYouDareToCallMePolisz Рік тому +3

      yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • @VtinMusic
      @VtinMusic 10 місяців тому +3

      we need mega danish

    • @tkmfischerman2582
      @tkmfischerman2582 8 місяців тому +6

      As a Dane i'm sorry to inform you that it already exists and has for a long time. It is called Jysk and it even has its own local dialects equally incomprensible to each other and actual danish speakers

    • @GregoryMom
      @GregoryMom 6 місяців тому

      Stendansk

    • @MarcusMedomRyding
      @MarcusMedomRyding 2 місяці тому +2

      Oops! All vowels!

  • @maikha8963
    @maikha8963 Рік тому +177

    jokes aside, for a unexperienced non french speaker this would actually sound like french

    • @thezipcreator
      @thezipcreator Рік тому +34

      am an unexperienced non-french speaker, yeah this does just sound like french

    • @malegria9641
      @malegria9641 Рік тому +20

      @@thezipcreatorsaying that is basically the equivalent of murdering my family you realize that right

    • @thezipcreator
      @thezipcreator Рік тому +15

      @@malegria9641 yeah

    • @zackbuildit88
      @zackbuildit88 11 місяців тому +6

      ​@@malegria9641y'all're french, last I was in Paris my family got insulted and treated like trash for trying to use French and *succeeding.* Y'all deserve it methinks

  • @AgmaSchwa
    @AgmaSchwa  Рік тому +151

    btw,The CCC2 is going to be like 8 hours long at this rate, I've already gotten like 80 submissions

    • @Denneth_D.
      @Denneth_D. Рік тому +11

      *80?!*

    • @Dr._Geno
      @Dr._Geno Рік тому +17

      8 hours? serieously, can't wait, that's going to be wonderful, can't wait!
      Also if you to a CCC3 I plan on having a conlang for that one, I only just discovered your channel, thanks to ceraphim, (and therefore through CCC1), and so I deffinetly won't have time to start, and complete my first ever conlang in time for CCC2, so I'm just hoping you do another one next year again.

    • @MarcySheikah
      @MarcySheikah Рік тому +10

      im still gonna watch it lmao

    •  Рік тому +7

      Do not threaten us with a good time

    • @teamcyeborg
      @teamcyeborg Рік тому +5

      ​@@Dr._GenoI believe in you, you've got literally hundreds of minutes to make it before the deadline!

  • @KalimbaJammer
    @KalimbaJammer Рік тому +178

    Next time, Agma Schwa should do this to either Polish or Portuguese

  • @DapperDinosaur
    @DapperDinosaur Рік тому +70

    It's like being back in High School French class!

    • @CrystalLily1302
      @CrystalLily1302 Рік тому +11

      what is my favourite anti creationist theropod doing in linguistics youtube? this is not the crossover I expected

    • @Denneth_D.
      @Denneth_D. Рік тому +8

      HOLY DAMN IT’S DAPPER THE KLINGON SPEAKING CERATOSAURUS!

    • @DapperDinosaur
      @DapperDinosaur Рік тому +5

      @@Denneth_D. oh yeah I'm here! naDev jIH!

    • @Denneth_D.
      @Denneth_D. Рік тому +2

      @@DapperDinosauroh no My only weakness Mixed case (along with a stinky romanization)

    • @mollof7893
      @mollof7893 Рік тому

      Holy šit Dapper Dino!😮

  • @smuecke
    @smuecke Рік тому +118

    Now do Anti-French, where it loses all nasal vowels and reduces its phonology to Rotokas.

    • @akirapink
      @akirapink Рік тому +20

      oiseaux -> waso

    • @friesgaming487
      @friesgaming487 Рік тому +13

      @@akirapinktoki pona!

    • @akirapink
      @akirapink Рік тому +3

      @@friesgaming487 exactly!

    • @Eosinophyllis
      @Eosinophyllis 11 місяців тому +3

      I mean if you’re looking for that in orthography Michif does that! You just also have to deal with nouns and verbs having virtually no correlation with one another

    • @zackbuildit88
      @zackbuildit88 11 місяців тому +3

      It should evolve its orthography to somehow be identical to a bunch of combined characters in Japanese

  • @bananacraft69
    @bananacraft69 Рік тому +149

    I had an idea for "Hyperfrench" about 6 months ago but didn't achieve much because the whole point of the language was to have as much silent letters as possible.
    "xsomzabenoxekz" (3rd person of "to be") is pronounced /sɔmɞk/

    • @misterhydra7285
      @misterhydra7285 Рік тому +9

      You should finish it, that's clever as hell

    • @stuchly1
      @stuchly1 Рік тому +2

      Speaking of silent letters, I really thought 'queue' with four is as bad as things get but this is hilarious. Well done. That language would waste so much paper just thinking about that makes me giggle 😂

    • @DontYouDareToCallMePolisz
      @DontYouDareToCallMePolisz 11 місяців тому

      @@stuchly1 too bad "queue" has only 1 silent letter

    • @imgvillasrc1608
      @imgvillasrc1608 8 місяців тому +1

      If it helps, use Agma's Ultrafrench rules and add in your silent letters idea.

  • @gatyunla
    @gatyunla Рік тому +60

    question: how do I distinguish between speakers of Ultra French and patients with ultra pneumonia? they sound so similar 🤔
    (more serious comment: thanks for the vid. absolutely love your cursed conlangs and I'm looking forward to the results of the circus)

  • @NStripleseven
    @NStripleseven Рік тому +59

    You’re slowly creating an entire dystopian world that’s based solely around the complete inability for efficient communication due to incomprehensible languages.

    • @futrey9353
      @futrey9353 Рік тому +5

      Ænd aj'm ol for æt (and i'm all for it)

    • @stuchly1
      @stuchly1 Рік тому +10

      This is what god did to the people who built the tower of babel 😂😂😂

    • @zackbuildit88
      @zackbuildit88 11 місяців тому +5

      Post-babel dystopia

    • @vaiyt
      @vaiyt 6 місяців тому +4

      Ultrababel

  • @LittleSkepticalButStillSmart
    @LittleSkepticalButStillSmart Рік тому +24

    As someone with a sore throat, I agree with you

  • @SurfTheSkyline
    @SurfTheSkyline Рік тому +22

    How would one say "oh dear lord I am so scared please make the cursed circus man stop before he unintentionally summons an eldritch horror into existence"

    • @zackbuildit88
      @zackbuildit88 11 місяців тому +2

      No that one's forbidden. Last time someone said it the sun turned blue and the sky was red

  • @quarksquare
    @quarksquare Рік тому +34

    well now i wanna see your take on Ultra-English. Ultra-American and Ultra-British maybe

    • @Shareenear
      @Shareenear Рік тому

      Ultra-Brummie would be great

    • @Ms_desolated
      @Ms_desolated 11 місяців тому +2

      Ultrawelsh might be funny

    • @imgvillasrc1608
      @imgvillasrc1608 4 місяці тому +1

      There already is an Ultra-English, it's called Anglish. It removes all non-germanic words from its vocabulary.

    • @filipinojalapeno1527
      @filipinojalapeno1527 2 місяці тому +1

      ​@@imgvillasrc1608 thats not ultra english

    • @Fennaixelphox
      @Fennaixelphox 19 годин тому

      Ultra-Polish >:)

  • @isaacthedestroyerofstuped7676
    @isaacthedestroyerofstuped7676 Рік тому +17

    This sounds like if Vincent Price had a stroke whilst havong an argument with someone in French.
    Also, this is not the language of romance; it is the language of being thrice divorced.

  • @samuelmarger9031
    @samuelmarger9031 Рік тому +32

    Me seeing this video:
    ...
    ...
    "NON ! Dieu...
    Non, Dieu, s'il vous plaît, non !
    Non ! Non !
    NOOOOOOOOOOO"

  • @volvagianintendo6465
    @volvagianintendo6465 Рік тому +31

    Wow! Polysynthetic French! 🎉❤

    • @DapperDinosaur
      @DapperDinosaur Рік тому +8

      But isn't that just French?

    • @volvagianintendo6465
      @volvagianintendo6465 Рік тому +2

      ​No, @@DapperDinosaur, for the true French speech isn't as synthetic as this talish offspring of its, which is named Ultrafrench.

  • @JDWatkins-ws4jt
    @JDWatkins-ws4jt Рік тому +14

    Ultrafrench is basically a Gaulish-Basque-Latin creole

  • @Hwelhos
    @Hwelhos Рік тому +12

    Thanks for simplifying the orthography

    • @erkinalp
      @erkinalp Рік тому +3

      yeah french orthography is broken to the fullest extent

  • @abarette_
    @abarette_ 11 місяців тому +7

    as a French native speaker, the weirdest part of the whole video is /y/ actually being orthographied as 'y' instead of 'u'

    • @AgmaSchwa
      @AgmaSchwa  11 місяців тому +6

      hehehe, this was not an accident

  •  Рік тому +15

    I hate how much this makes sense

  • @SHRUGGiExyz
    @SHRUGGiExyz Рік тому +9

    Idk how to tell you this but Québecois French sounds just like this to France French speakers... _and vise versa_

  • @misterhydra7285
    @misterhydra7285 Рік тому +23

    This is dreadful, I absolutely love it

  • @fabulouschild2005
    @fabulouschild2005 7 місяців тому +4

    NOT LENITIONS 😭😭😭 (I've been learning Scottish Gaelic for like 9 months)

  • @thesolartermsarethebest7062
    @thesolartermsarethebest7062 Рік тому +14

    🇲🇫🥐🇲🇫 T'hebhau Raúl 🇲🇫🥐🇲🇫

  • @malegria9641
    @malegria9641 Рік тому +7

    I thought my cursed conlang was bad but this just hurt my to my cœur

  • @BFC77
    @BFC77 Рік тому +8

    Who knew navajo and ultra french are the same language

  • @eddisakillergnome
    @eddisakillergnome Рік тому +10

    well, well, well... now, I want an entire series...

  • @gambe96
    @gambe96 Рік тому +14

    "en faire tout un fromage" doesn't mean "to make everything into cheese", it means "to make it into a whole cheese"

    • @nicolasglemot6760
      @nicolasglemot6760 Рік тому +23

      More accurately, "to make a whole cheese out of it".

    • @gambe96
      @gambe96 Рік тому +1

      @@nicolasglemot6760 ouais si tu veux

    • @neopalm2050
      @neopalm2050 Рік тому +8

      @@nicolasglemot6760 shhh... if you say it like that, it almost sounds like the french and the brits have something... _in common._

  • @С.Н.̥
    @С.Н.̥ Рік тому +9

    Now I wonder how Old French "Oui" transforms in Ultra French.

    • @JDWatkins-ws4jt
      @JDWatkins-ws4jt Рік тому +13

      It would transform into

    • @kornsuwin
      @kornsuwin 6 місяців тому +1

      Although the Rávér does talk about a 'yes', *y’í does not seem to appear in the dictionary. Closest I could find were dahaúr (sure, okay), rêd’hes (of course), and kinda baú (to be good, to be correct).
      There's also three words for 'no' (asý’ýa for the indicative/sá for the subjunctive/t’hé for the optative), if you wanted to know.

  • @samuelcheung4799
    @samuelcheung4799 Рік тому +38

    How you managed to put French, Turkish, Irish, 1000 years of language development, and cursedness in a mixing bowl and make it work well is beyond my comprehension.
    But I must say: I adore it.

    • @k.umquat8604
      @k.umquat8604 Рік тому +1

      I don't know about Irish,but this sounds nothing like Turkish...

    • @samuelcheung4799
      @samuelcheung4799 Рік тому +3

      @@k.umquat8604 Turkish by its highly agglutinative grammar structure.

  • @RadioactivFly
    @RadioactivFly Рік тому +4

    The next evolution of Ultra French:
    It becomes tonal

  • @Chrnan6710
    @Chrnan6710 Рік тому +3

    Can't wait for you to review Douleur

  • @Alexandre-yp1uy
    @Alexandre-yp1uy 5 місяців тому +2

    2:34 oh hey a velar trill

  • @decepticonne
    @decepticonne Рік тому +4

    as a french speaker the consonants are a sick read

  • @captainyulef5845
    @captainyulef5845 Рік тому +5

    Somehow I like this more, because it ironically sounds like someone has cotton balls in their mouth instead of unironically.

  • @volvagianintendo6465
    @volvagianintendo6465 Рік тому

    Man, this is soothly a masterpiece! I love it all!

  • @kornsuwin
    @kornsuwin Рік тому +9

    this is therapy

  • @plexusGD
    @plexusGD Рік тому +3

    I completely agree with that statement NGL

  • @tlatai
    @tlatai Рік тому +6

    this would make a good villager language ŋgl

  • @aro4cinglife
    @aro4cinglife Рік тому +3

    this feels like the E1back there benjamin version of French if yk what I mean

  • @tfairfield42
    @tfairfield42 Рік тому

    These videos keep my complete and entire attention because the jokes on the computer screen. Brilliant strategy good sir

  • @GG69BLIN
    @GG69BLIN Рік тому +1

    ❤❤❤loooove it, again

  • @GG69BLIN
    @GG69BLIN Рік тому +1

    😂The background memes really got me

  • @juliansaav
    @juliansaav 5 місяців тому

    this is SO funny and great!!!🤣

  • @ieditlogos419
    @ieditlogos419 6 місяців тому +1

    Thank goodness the old French still exists. I can't imagine this becoming a global language

  • @BryanLu0
    @BryanLu0 Рік тому +10

    French spelling just as bad as English spelling frfr

  • @donovantownshend8783
    @donovantownshend8783 Рік тому +4

    I'd still rather learn this than French

  • @aro4cinglife
    @aro4cinglife Рік тому +4

    putain c'est compliqué ça.

  • @Denneth_D.
    @Denneth_D. Рік тому +24

    Quebec French is objectively more petrifying
    I don’t want to sound controversial but Am I not the only one that thinks Nasal vowels are gross (why even have a distinction it just makes any one speaking sound like their having a head cold)
    Agma you better not make a Copypasta out of this ;3

    • @NoverMaC
      @NoverMaC Рік тому +1

      i too dislike nasal vowels

    • @Denneth_D.
      @Denneth_D. Рік тому

      @@NoverMaCsame braincell ‘Innit.

    • @captainyulef5845
      @captainyulef5845 Рік тому +1

      I kinda do, though I'm less opposed to it than I used to.

    • @abarette_
      @abarette_ 11 місяців тому

      nasal vowels are cool :D

    • @vaiyt
      @vaiyt 6 місяців тому

      Guarany makes it work

  • @С.Н.̥
    @С.Н.̥ Рік тому +4

    Commenting the video BEFORE it is out is cursed btw.

    • @qantuum7567
      @qantuum7567 Рік тому

      just wait until you see one of the contest's contenders, also loosely based on french

  • @xX_wiLLiam_Xx
    @xX_wiLLiam_Xx Рік тому +1

    4:25 where does this souns effect come from

  • @hFactorial
    @hFactorial Рік тому +2

    How do you translate "ô me-l'ette du phreau-m'âge" in ultrafrench?

  • @cupcakkeisaslayqueen
    @cupcakkeisaslayqueen Рік тому +1

    I actually tried using devoiced vowels in conlangs. it sucked

  • @dyld921
    @dyld921 Рік тому +3

    My guy really made a 38-page document just for a couple thousand views

  • @mm552
    @mm552 Рік тому +2

    We cannot go down this timeline, I repeat: WE CANNOT GO DOWN THIS TIMELINE WE CAN- v'iva l'Recõlûçįœnaaaaa

  • @Lumegrin
    @Lumegrin 23 дні тому +1

    7:33 thats the sibilant one

  • @robinstrand772
    @robinstrand772 Рік тому +3

    So THAT's the language Minecraft villagers speak!

  • @kylezdancewicz7346
    @kylezdancewicz7346 5 місяців тому +1

    What about ultra Hungarian or Finnish. We need a language with more noun cases than Ithkuil

  • @Denneth_D.
    @Denneth_D. Рік тому +2

    ULTRAFRENCH… ULTRAFRENCH IS REAAAL!!! *inserts the French version of Dark Fantasy*

  • @sampsonlee2
    @sampsonlee2 11 місяців тому

    I wonder what in modern French is the name T'heb'haú Raúl derive from?
    Edit: I found the answer in the reference grammar. It is "jeter l'éponge parole".

    • @LeReubzRic
      @LeReubzRic 4 місяці тому

      "Throw in the towel speech"

  • @avtomaticeskijrazdatcikgus2713

    OK, but how do you say "they peel us" in Ultrafrench?

    • @Ms_desolated
      @Ms_desolated 11 місяців тому

      Gvprskvni is you peel us

    • @kornsuwin
      @kornsuwin 5 місяців тому +1

      assuming the word for "to peel" is debhúy’ẹ́ (from dépoullier)...
      roughly 'Laúdebhúy’é.' [ɮ̃ɔ̃.de.bʰũˈɥẽˑ]

    • @avtomaticeskijrazdatcikgus2713
      @avtomaticeskijrazdatcikgus2713 5 місяців тому

      @@kornsuwin Huh. That's almost not so bad.

    • @kornsuwin
      @kornsuwin 5 місяців тому

      @@avtomaticeskijrazdatcikgus2713 i might be able to construct a more treacherous form if i were to study the Rávér more, but 3m.s.act-1.p.pass-to.peel is good enough as a bare minimum

  • @Alexxpvz
    @Alexxpvz 11 місяців тому

    I’m making a language and it’s called “Maчöiska” (machoiska) and I have finished its alphabet, grammar, 1/500 of the vocabulary. It’s really hard to implement all of the existing vocabulary, does anyone have tips?

  • @WitherBossEntity
    @WitherBossEntity Місяць тому

    Let's bring this as a proposal before the Académie Française.

  • @gabrielcollstefoni7765
    @gabrielcollstefoni7765 Рік тому +1

    why
    im crying

  • @dimitrosskrippka2154
    @dimitrosskrippka2154 Рік тому

    4:57 sounds of Sheol

  • @Zane-It
    @Zane-It Рік тому +1

    Ultra french looks kinda like old breton

  • @clercflorian4637
    @clercflorian4637 Місяць тому

    *Send the vidéo to l'Académie Française*
    *one day later*
    *Massive number of ruptured aneurisms in the "Immortel"'s rank*

  • @lukesmith8896
    @lukesmith8896 Рік тому +2

    Holy cow it's real!

  • @thebonkera1221
    @thebonkera1221 Рік тому +2

    its french but with a goidelic twist

  • @docteurcuicui582
    @docteurcuicui582 3 місяці тому

    This jokelang sounds like Navajo to me, and I'm a native French speaker.

  • @smallpoppies0
    @smallpoppies0 Рік тому +1

    2:55, 5:55

  • @mollof7893
    @mollof7893 Рік тому +1

    Very ŋəice!

  • @alienrat-z3g
    @alienrat-z3g 11 місяців тому

    Every time I watch anything to do with linguistics I start feeling so stupid and uneducated because I have no idea, what half of the words mean.
    On a different note: it is 3:18 a.m.; why am I not sleeping?

  • @aimfulRenegade
    @aimfulRenegade 18 днів тому

    As a beginner french speaker, the usage of apostrophes is so cursed

  • @artifactU
    @artifactU Рік тому +5

    ŋu

  • @devofficialchannel
    @devofficialchannel Рік тому +2

    When you out-Frenched the French.

  • @mortimer687
    @mortimer687 11 місяців тому

    hypertagalog cloŋ with austronesian alignment i beg

  • @marym7104
    @marym7104 Рік тому

    Within 7 days!

  • @carlosma79-rj3fi
    @carlosma79-rj3fi 9 місяців тому

    Pretty ballsy move to say that french will ever update it's orthography

  • @AlbySilly
    @AlbySilly 5 місяців тому

    So this is the language the large nosed mushroom speaks in hollow knight

  • @Denneth_D.
    @Denneth_D. Рік тому +1

    Several redditors must be creaming themselves seeing that Ultrafrench is finally a reality

  • @afz902k
    @afz902k Рік тому

    Better but not good, what the heck does that even mean?!

    • @JungleLibrary
      @JungleLibrary Рік тому +2

      For example, if I were eating moldy bread, it's better than eating cow dung, but it is not good.

  • @Dr._Geno
    @Dr._Geno Рік тому +10

    ok but at least dollar amounts are written and pronounced the same in french, UNLIKE ENGLISH!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @marmite-land
    @marmite-land 4 місяці тому

    Ah yes, the french word [ʒ̞ãð̞ɔ̃x]

  • @Sanguinello0s
    @Sanguinello0s Рік тому

    Is it because its the half day of april fools day today????

  • @flatline-timer
    @flatline-timer Рік тому +1

    FINALLY ULTRAFRENCH IS REAL

  • @SketchyTigers
    @SketchyTigers Рік тому

    who hurt you

  • @marym7104
    @marym7104 Рік тому

    4,895th viewer of this video!

  • @pixel9753
    @pixel9753 Рік тому

    I promise not to tell the secret 😊

  • @4thalt
    @4thalt 4 місяці тому

    French 2 before GTA 6

  • @argh523
    @argh523 Рік тому

    U L T R A F R E N C H

  • @qantuum7567
    @qantuum7567 Рік тому

    look how they massacred my boy 😢

  • @noahnaugler7611
    @noahnaugler7611 6 місяців тому

    ow

  • @trentonyoder7623
    @trentonyoder7623 Рік тому

    "bruh" -me

  • @dj_longinus
    @dj_longinus Рік тому +1

    🥐🥐🥐

  • @paintingperson5319
    @paintingperson5319 Рік тому

    Didnt find it cursed enough, too many plosives and too little voiced glottal fricative colored uvular trills

    • @vaiyt
      @vaiyt 6 місяців тому

      That's what douleur is for

  • @phillipsiebold8351
    @phillipsiebold8351 Рік тому

    The orthography leaves a lot missing. You need rapacious amounts of elision to be going on. So you might have those dots, but I rather see something monstrous. Phonology and grammar doesn't change (or stays as you have made it). You just have a lot of garbage words that don't get enunciated but must be written down.