I developed this people pleasing syndrome as a result of child abuse. It's a survival mechanism. But, it is not right, kind, or respectful. It's like I was throwing myself under the bus and announcing that I do not matter. It takes time and practice to get rid of the behavior. I have found that tactical communication skills are helpful. I love the title of this video. Thank you!
Thank you Dr. Aziz! I reached a certain point in my life where i no longer need these videos. I've got my full confidence back in just 1 year. I no longer care about what others think or say and i am unappolegetically me. So thank you for helping me out in this journey. It's exciting to see results when it all felt so hopeless before. Didn't think i would make it.
@@Shanoelazace In fact i can. If anything scares you then do it. start small and once you feel confortable start gradually doing things outside your confort zone. This will make your confort zone grow much larger and things that scared me in the past no longer do cause i've grown accostumed to them. This is how you get past any fear or insecurity. Challenge it and keep doing so until it no longer bothers you. Hope that helped!
@@Shanoelazace Easier said than done i know but as long as you stict to it and keep challenging yourself consitently you will keep making progress. Also if you have any goals in life brake them down into actions you can take today. For example i want to become a biologist. So focus only on what i can do today to achive that goal. I can study or i can play games. Only one of those actions will bring me closer to my goal and its these small everyday choices that impact our lifes the most.
What if someone has power over you and it’s life or death, or some dire consequence would result from your “just being you,” or if you politely assert yourself with your boss (and they fire you). Sometimes, when I’m in a room full of people, I remain quiet if I pick up on a bad vibe. Should you still speak up? Tactfully speaking your mind with someone who is highly narcissistic, can have dire consequences because they are emotionally unstable and in a position to harm you. Also, one other point. I’ve noticed that when I walk into a room, and I’m not grinning from ear to ear (like a Cheshire cat) as I normally tend to do, people instantly get nasty. If I just have a calm, normal look on my face, they feel uncomfortable. What’s up with that?
Good, because I just dropped an open letter about people who don't take depression seriously, and told them how big of POS they are for the damage they cause. I'm a shy person who generally avoids stating controversial opinions.
Question: Why am I not able to talk anything in a group? Im shy in group conversation if im not included. I just stay quiet the whole time until im addressed. I want to be able to talk freely.
If talking in a group scares you then do it. Even if you say something silly and embarace yourself. it is the only way to brake fear padrons. If you keep doing it consistently it will become effortless. Start small and keep doing things that scare you more and more till you conquer the fear. This advice works for everthing in life btw.
Id advize testing it out with people you don't care about first. I started talking to old ladies at bus stops xD Cause that way if it goes poorly it wont really affect your day to day life.
The problem is if others do get uncomfortable, you're automatically guilty and expected to change and reflect on yourself. No one thinks you're innocent.
I wonder about something.... Often times it is advised to tell people how their behavior made us feel, but in truth, our feelings are our responsibility. Therefor I think this might not be the right step. Mostly because it means that we are still internalising other peoples behavior. I think its more useful to state it more objective in form of boundaries. Like: "i noticed you were being passive agressive and I want you to know that I am willing to listen to your emotions, but what I will not allow is passive agressive treatment because it doesn't align with how I deserve to be treated". Factual, no emotions, just plain data and boundaries. I feel this whole "your behavior made me feel" talk is only showing that others have power to make us feel stuff, while our feelings are our responsibility, not theirs. Any thought Aziz?
for me i am looking inward. I am looking at myself fully all aspects of me. Your strengths and weaknesses. What do you about your? Write all this information down. As nice people we often look to others for answers about ourselves. It's time to go inward.
I developed this people pleasing syndrome as a result of child abuse. It's a survival mechanism. But, it is not right, kind, or respectful. It's like I was throwing myself under the bus and announcing that I do not matter. It takes time and practice to get rid of the behavior. I have found that tactical communication skills are helpful. I love the title of this video. Thank you!
Thank you Dr. Aziz! I reached a certain point in my life where i no longer need these videos. I've got my full confidence back in just 1 year. I no longer care about what others think or say and i am unappolegetically me. So thank you for helping me out in this journey. It's exciting to see results when it all felt so hopeless before. Didn't think i would make it.
Can you share how?
@@Shanoelazace In fact i can. If anything scares you then do it. start small and once you feel confortable start gradually doing things outside your confort zone. This will make your confort zone grow much larger and things that scared me in the past no longer do cause i've grown accostumed to them. This is how you get past any fear or insecurity. Challenge it and keep doing so until it no longer bothers you. Hope that helped!
@@Shanoelazace Easier said than done i know but as long as you stict to it and keep challenging yourself consitently you will keep making progress. Also if you have any goals in life brake them down into actions you can take today. For example i want to become a biologist. So focus only on what i can do today to achive that goal. I can study or i can play games. Only one of those actions will bring me closer to my goal and its these small everyday choices that impact our lifes the most.
Love the 2 cameras! Way to go my man!
We can brag that we knew him back when he only had 1 camera!
Fr
This guy is leveling up with the two cameras. He’s about to get 100k!
Love the new setup Doc! And as always, appreciate the advice.
I really appreciate Dr Aziz advice
Thank you.
Beeest advice!
Notebook - Noel Calhoun to Allie Hamilton:
"I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings!"
What if someone has power over you and it’s life or death, or some dire consequence would result from your “just being you,” or if you politely assert yourself with your boss (and they fire you). Sometimes, when I’m in a room full of people, I remain quiet if I pick up on a bad vibe. Should you still speak up? Tactfully speaking your mind with someone who is highly narcissistic, can have dire consequences because they are emotionally unstable and in a position to harm you.
Also, one other point. I’ve noticed that when I walk into a room, and I’m not grinning from ear to ear (like a Cheshire cat) as I normally tend to do, people instantly get nasty. If I just have a calm, normal look on my face, they feel uncomfortable. What’s up with that?
Good, because I just dropped an open letter about people who don't take depression seriously, and told them how big of POS they are for the damage they cause. I'm a shy person who generally avoids stating controversial opinions.
Nice job expressing your opinion. Depression is overstated, though. It can really be fixed easier than people think
This is top content.
Question: Why am I not able to talk anything in a group? Im shy in group conversation if im not included. I just stay quiet the whole time until im addressed. I want to be able to talk freely.
If talking in a group scares you then do it. Even if you say something silly and embarace yourself. it is the only way to brake fear padrons. If you keep doing it consistently it will become effortless. Start small and keep doing things that scare you more and more till you conquer the fear. This advice works for everthing in life btw.
Id advize testing it out with people you don't care about first. I started talking to old ladies at bus stops xD Cause that way if it goes poorly it wont really affect your day to day life.
@@csgaiao33 thanks bud
@@JolinHard Hope it helped! ^-^
The first 5 seconds onto the video 😮
The problem is if others do get uncomfortable, you're automatically guilty and expected to change and reflect on yourself. No one thinks you're innocent.
I wonder about something....
Often times it is advised to tell people how their behavior made us feel, but in truth, our feelings are our responsibility.
Therefor I think this might not be the right step. Mostly because it means that we are still internalising other peoples behavior.
I think its more useful to state it more objective in form of boundaries.
Like: "i noticed you were being passive agressive and I want you to know that I am willing to listen to your emotions, but what I will not allow is passive agressive treatment because it doesn't align with how I deserve to be treated".
Factual, no emotions, just plain data and boundaries.
I feel this whole "your behavior made me feel" talk is only showing that others have power to make us feel stuff, while our feelings are our responsibility, not theirs.
Any thought Aziz?
@CJ Thats correct. However mostly when we have a reaction there is a false belief underneath it. Some unhealed pain.
Doesn’t have internet addiction affect dopamine centres and cause anxiety tho as well?
💯💯💯
How can I be "myself" if I don't even know who I am after years of being nice?
for me i am looking inward. I am looking at myself fully all aspects of me. Your strengths and weaknesses. What do you about your? Write all this information down. As nice people we often look to others for answers about ourselves. It's time to go inward.
First! Looks like a good video!
A right to be awkward?! Whattt
I live in a community where they feel uncomfortable with my presence because I'm not white.
❤️👏
Whaat? Awkward... :)
Those studs ain't it my man!