Johnny Canal - SNL
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- Опубліковано 16 жов 2024
- Johnny Canal (John Malkovich), a frontiersman, visits the President (Phil Hartman) and his cabinet (Kevin Nealon, Jon Malkovich) with an idea for a canal system to link the entire U.S, and threatens to knife anyone who disagrees. [Season 14, 1989]
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omg I cant believe this on here. "he fought with his blade and he fought knife and he fought with his blade and his knife"...lol ive been singing that for 30 years...RIP Phil Hartman
Lol I sing that too! Best ever.. also .. Lynn tukwilla from bothel Washington. Driftwood collector /artist 🤣
(long puzzled gaze) look do you want the canals or not? Lmaoo
Awkward silence...KNIFE LUNGE!!
@@sophistanonym1703MISTER CANAL, I ORDER YOU STOP AT ONCE!!!
Lennie moment
I bet there's nothing better than eating some oldsmobile donuts while riding down a canal.
... to visit the Atlantic Puppy Grinding Company.
@@christopherwebb3517think of the jobs😅
Deep down inside Johny Canal was..a very disturbed man with a very strange sense of humor but with a beautiful dream to build as many canals as possible..but he was also quite..deranged too!
Anytime any of my siblings and I are discussing some incredibly impractical idea or proposal, one of us inevitably counters with “who will feed clothe and house the literally millions of workmen needed to perform (whatever they are proposing)? Will there be sufficient fresh water, or will seawater need to be pumped in?” All because of a little known SNL sketch with John Malkovich.
I reference this sketch at work sometimes by saying "did Johnny Canal propose this?" - No one gets it. There is just silence. Nobody even asks who I'm talking about or who is Johnny Canal. But I laugh in my head to myself because I Know.
Good to see a feature on this oft forgotten American legend
The kids in Italy don't have street smarts, they have canal smarts. - Mitch Hedburg.
Giovanni Canal
The sheer absurdity of Mr. Canal’s proposal, a canal from every city, town and village to every city, town and village.
The sequel is about his descendent Johnny Fourlane Highway proposing highways to connect every town and city in the country. Doesn't seem so ridiculous now, huh
What does he fight with?
@@ihavefallenandicantreachmy2113 There are about 1,500 homicides by knife each year in the US, and 35,000 traffic deaths... wtf do you think he fought with?
@@jonathanmatthew1263 "Brunswick" Bowling Pins. Two of them. One, he won, while on "Strike" and his "spare" Pin. Did you know Bowling Pins are made of spare Puppy Bones. That is why "Canal" and "Canine" are two words.
Wonder if he is the relative of the marshall Josh Acid? Or if he crossed paths later in life with the Whipmaster 😂
Sure it's evil, but think of the jobs.
The theme song is certainly an intriguing one, but there are several points that it didn't touch on. For example, if he fought with his knife, didn't he by definition fight with his blade? Does he have another blade, and if so why was the knife specified when the other was merely vaguely referred to only as a blade? Which circumstances determined the use of a knife, and which determined the use of the other blade? Most of his fights would already be served with one blade or the other. And if it's just the knife, what is the point of using a second impractical and utterly redundant reference? I think we're all anxious to hear more of the details of this blade.
Look, do you want to defeat the indians or not?!
I really wanted him to just say "Canal" but he would just pull his knife out holy shit this was fantastic
one of the greatest sketches of all time--I used to look for this online. So glad it was finally uploaded.
MALKOVICH!
"I must ask that you refrain from knife-fighting in the White House!"
Johnny Canal for president!!!💙
This is the kind of weird, silly comedy me as a 10 year old could not get enough of back then.
Doesn't seem like SNL does stuff like this stuff anymore. Maybe I'm just too old and they still do. Doesn't seem as smart as it used seem
They could bring this one back for the Hyperloop
I remember watching SNL as far back as season 1, live, and I assert that SNL right now is smarter, funnier, and weirder than ever.
Then find the whipmaster with bill Murray. Same kind of humor
I feel like John only ever plays himself but in different costumes. He’s great though- At being John.
There were no railroads in 1820. Other than that everything seems historically accurate.
He meant by the time John"ny" Canal finished digging the Canals, with his Shovel and, his other Shovel, by that time, The United States of Americanal would be Railroaded, already, with Freight and Passenger Trains, is what he meant. That, is the ticket.
Speaking, of accurate........Ye olde Description has Jon Lovitz, as "Jon Malkovich"
No Valparaiso, Indiana, either until 1837.
This would’ve been a great reoccurring sketch!
*pulls out knife cuz I disagree*
Note that it would be two separate canals connecting each place. Imagine all the criss-crossing there would be. The whole landscape would be a confusing tangle of canals.
Elon Musk and hyperloop tunnels
Haha oh lord yes exactly!
Ooh honey child u hit the nail on the head!
especially after knifing your boss.
but instead of knifing his critics he just calls them pedos
@@oggjoshua Gotta call a spade a space sometimes.
Gentlemen, there is no fighting in the War Room.
I love Hamilton omg 😍😍😍
I don't see the problem! Great idea!!
SNL at its best. Those were the days.
Yes! Comedy gold! 😂🤣😂🤣 we must have canals!!
by Jack Handey
I thought he wrote this. He’s always good for writing something absurd and clever.
What dos this have to do with an illegal Shiny Pokemon supplier?
basically looks like a map of the highway system now, so Johnny Canal got his dream.....just without loads of boats and water....
Brilliant! What ever happened to good, experimental, provocative writing?
Jack Handey left SNL in 2002 apparently, he wrote this.
Check out Simon Rich if you are looking for new writing like this
From the sound of it; the Audience was deep, in thought, pondering, If Mr. Canal's plan were a success, then, how would "Canal" fit, into "I've been workin' on the Railroad" and do they feed the Puppies "Oldsmobile Doughnuts", prior, to Grinding, fur to make the Pups softer and more malleable. If so; do they grind the Pupnuts, with Slow Roasted Coffee, fur to speed, up, the Grinding process. Either way; it is safe to say the Canals are made out of Canine Carcasses, if the Banks, Bark and the Wharf's, Woof and the Water Wags it's Tail Current and the Rapids are Rabid and the Gravel, Growls, as it Grinds YOU, to a halt and the Deep parts smell like Dog Farts and you are warned, of Shallow parts, by, still- beating Sheepdog Hearts etc. "I've been workin', on the Canal Boat". One thing is missing. An Accordion Grinder. "Weird Canal" Yankovic is just the Ticket
nice capitalization
Man one of my favorite lost SNL SKITS!!! And when you disagree he goes to instant knife violence LOL 😂 CLASSIC!!!
Brought to you by Oldsmobile doughnuts.
That could be an awesome tv show
jack handey brilliance!
Awe now! No knife fighting in The White House!!!?
Ah, Johnny Canal. The great great great grandfather of Dawson. It was once called Canal’s Creek you know.
Pretty hot back in 1989 Mr. Malkovich.🔥 💋 🔥 ❤
Still is.
Oh my...
He's not "pretty" , but he's puuuuurrrrrrrfect...
I remember back when this aired, everyone was saying SNL wasn't funny and previous seasons had funnier writers and better comedians.
Mr. Pavone are you sure they were taking about season 46 not being funny
I started watching regularly around 88 or so and have been hearing the "SNL isn't funny anymore" good ol' days complaint since then.
I feel like they wrote the Daniel Boon/Davy Crockett knockoff theme song first, and then came up with a sketch to go along with it.
This is a lot like a Monty Python sketch if you ask me?!
Iike having Joe Pesci at the dinner table. 😁
Johnny Canal!
Sounds a bit like the Hyperloop idea
Still does!
Phil Hartman. 😭
"If it's a great donut, it's an OLDSMOBILE!"
(not affiliated with the Oldsmobile car company)
ahead of its time
I looked this up because I remember watching it 30 odd years ago stoned in my college dorm and laughing my ass off. Not as funny now in my 50s and not stoned.
Thanks for that, Dan. Very true, wistfully so.
Have a nice burn and give it another shot 😊
A lit if people don't know about this skit man this shit was so funny bk in the day!!!
On paper this is hilarious. But comedy is a mysterious craft… why doesn’t it work live? Should there be a music cue each time he gets murderous?
No means no
Why does president James Monroe look so much like James Madison here?
Maybe ots evil...but think of the jobs!
LIBERTARIANS think this way.
reminds me of my dentist.
Really?
Yikes, who were the writers during this period?
Donny Border Wall.
Is this the worst sketch in snl history?
No. I think it's very Pythonesque and actually quite good.
ilker sönmez I mean worst in the best possible way 😂
That would be any Jimmy Fallon breaking character sketch
@@mvader7188jimmy who...
painfully unfunny