U.K. Gets A New PM | Herschel Walker Is Not A Real Cop | New Yorkers Shred Ted Cruz
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- Опубліковано 16 чер 2024
- Stephen learns the name of the U.K.'s new Prime Minister, looks at the latest lies from Georgia Senate candidate Herschel Walker, and shares video of Sen. Ted Cruz getting a rowdy New York welcome at Yankee Stadium. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes. - Розваги
My favourite moment of Liz Truss' term in office was the Australian media spending 30 seconds trying to figure out which minor royal she was at the Queen's funeral.
Lol that was just too good. Also yay for lettuce.
😂
I was just thinking about that but couldn’t remember if it was about her or not 😂
If that wasn't a sign...
So funny!
That guy yelling at Turd Cruz should be replayed at the beginning of games as the new national anthem
You seem as creative with a Cruz nickname as Colbert’s writers are with Mar-a-Lardo’s
@@rustyreturns9754 Says the guy with the name ‘Rusty’.
Turd Ooze
@@susanbowman6652 Rusty Trombone more like it.
@@rustyreturns9754 Those are actually pretty funny and are sent in by fans.
I've never loved NYC more than when I heard that guy tell off Ted Cruz. That made my day.
That man should be given a key to city and the right to run screaming onto a tarmac whenever Cruz lands near the city.
You took the words right out of my mouth. That guy telling him off was music to my ears.
That dude going off on Ted Cruz made me laugh until I cried. You go, man!
“A thousand toy badges. That’s perfect that’s one for each of his secret children”. Damn the burn 🔥.
Do you smell smoke?
That was a third-degree burn, no doubt about it!
Warnock can now get 1,000 Red balloons that say "we don't want your stinking badges".
When he said I was in shock and laughing like damn the savagery is on point!
If that was a burn then Ted Cruz was cremated in a nazi oven.
That tape tearing Ted a new one could become my new alarm clock. What a way to get up every day refreshed and recharged.
Great idea, I wish I knew how to do that 😂
...z Z z...😴
..........."YOU SUCK TED. YOU F***ING SUUUUUCK!!!" 📻
🥱"Morning already?"
🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💕💕💕
Best reply ever🤣
my god that was sooo refreshing i must have played that ten times with tears of joy, THANK YOU NEWYORK!!!!!!!!!
“Perfect, that’s one for each of his secret children”. Lmao!!!! 😂
That's the third time I've heard that man cursing out Ted Cruz, and every time I hear, "remember that time T***p called your wife ugly, and you nominated him? F**k You!" I laugh so hard that I almost can't hear, "remember when those insurrectionists wanted to murder you?"
That guy is the best. That was some master-level trolling, right there.
Not trolling if it's true😉
It's not trolling at all, it's confronting him with the facts about how pathetic and spineless he is...
That was Martha Stewart 🙂
The man yelling at Ted was SADHGURU ! OMG ! 😮😮
@@11cabadger +s@
🤣🤣 I love stadium guy yelling at cruz! You are my hero!
What about the thousands of Eagles fans booing Jill Biden. That was sweet.
@@johnbrowne3950 well Sheagles fans are some of the worst ppl period. She shouldn't take it personally lol. Sincerely a Cowboys fan 😂😂
Guy needs a podcast, asap
@@K_Z_R 🤣 That would be funny.
OMG the clip of the Yankee fan telling Cruz get the F!$@#+ outta NY was AWESOMENESS... Thank you Stephen you made my morning!
I lost it at the immediate "No." response to covid being a leadership test. It's hilariously horrifying.
That dude summed up everything you didn't know you wanted to say to Ted Cruz 😁👏
oh, that's nowhere near everything, but it's a good start.
I would love to see which cities could do better, wherever Ted goes.
Let's buy him a 🍺!!
@@kenbrown2808 that might not have been everything but I got tears of joy. 😅
Guy is a legend
“Hey, remember when Trump called your wife ugly, and then you nominated him?!! Remember that?!!” Aw man, priceless! 😂🤣😂🤣😅
He only wants to rape McCarthys wife
I don't get it. Why is misogyny funny?
@@ellie-tk4jy
Is not the misogyny that's funny, it Cruz inability to stand up even for his own wife.
The guy yelling at Ted made my day 🤣
NYCers do play.
Sniff, sniff, I’m so proud to be a New Yorker. That was freakin’ beautiful!❤
Thank You New York for screaming all of our frustrations at him!! They should play just that audio everywhere he goes to annoy him forever.
I second this.
Great idea!
Yes it was very cathartic to hear someone say it✔️
Check out the one tyt put together. At least 5 different events he was getting Heckler. Plus today on the View
They are. VERY VIRAL. Cruz, you have the honor along with Trump of most hated man in America, while Marjorie Parlor Greene is the most hated America’s Bitch of Buchenwald.
That guy yelling said everything I've always wanted to scream at Ted!
Get the F**K out of New York, I challenge anyone to do that wherever Cruz lands!
I am from Australia and I have wanted to Yell at him tooo! 😊
The Ted Cruz clip is fantastic 😂
New Yorkers are one of a kind.
That ambassador from New York greeting Cruz was a delight. Thank you!
I'm from Houston and I love hearing those Fan's giving Ted what he deserves
That guy deserves the key to the city and the medal of freedom
Love to see Stephen and Louis working on their riffing, Louis and the band just keep getting better and better!
"Liz Truss lasted 4.1 Scaramuccis" -- Anthony Scaramucci
I forgot about him! Wonder what he's doing now?
The Mooch!!
@@couragekarnga8735 Losing money in Bitcoin!
😂😂😂😂 Excellent
Nice!
I can't stop laughing at the guys heckling Ted Cruz. That was classic.
Holy fook that was awesome!!!
I like Ted Cruz more than anyone, and I hate Ted Cruz. - Al Franken
faith in humanity restored
I know and the way he waves to them as they are telling him to f off🤣
THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING! I AM CRYING FROM THAT EPIC PROFESSIONAL TROLLING
That's amazing! The orchestra picked up on the dancing bit with a flair of African beat right on point! Spontaneity at it's best!
New Yorkers keeping it real! Great
Thank you baseball fans of New York for saying what I've been thinking about Ted Cruz out loud...
I wish I had been in New York to yell at Cruz. To the guy who recorded that… you’re my hero.
He-row
That New Yorker is my hero too. I'm a Texan that Can't Stand that Slimy Spineless MAGA GQP POS Cruz either!!
What was Cruz doing in New York in the first place, hunting for illegal immigrants crossing our borders into Yankee Stadium? Let's see if this spooks him into making an escape flight into the Bahamas.
That's why NYC is 'America's City'....welcome to the jungle Cancun Cruz!
As a new yorker i approve
This was one of my favorite monologues from Stephen in a long time. Well done sir! 😂 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Too Hilarious
😂 great monologue. The Ted Cruz bit took it all!
"Royalty-free wizarding child. Expectum no lawsuit" Give whoever wrote that a pat on the back, that's so funny!
I read this before I heard it but I still lost it 🤣
“ You meet a woman and you know within one second it’s gonna happen” whether she wants it or not.
so gross! he's such a nasty-a$$ mofo
This opening by Colbert is particularly savage against the Republicans, and I'm here for it!
There is nothing better than the power of such a show being in the hands of the right guy. Greetz from Germany, keep it up.
nothing is like a New Yorker telling ya how they feel about you and I mean nothing Oh how I love New Yorkers!
🤣 They don't disappoint.
That's exactly what I said at the end of that rant, "I ❤ NY"!!!
Those New Yorkers were absolute golden, total bad asses
I'm surprised fled cruz made it out without taking a beer shower and wearing a hot dog hat. But that guy yelling at him was priceless 🤣😂
They were being polite.
As a Canadian my confidence in New Yorkers has risen; seems like a place I’d feel safe to visit.
When Hershel was a kid, he apparently never got a fake cop badge. Happy he has one now.
Whoever was calling Ted Cruise out that hard needs to be invited to all the neighborhood BBQs for life. Whoever he is, you're invited to all my holidays and vacations free of charge. You're a legend sir.
Make sure you have a spelling contest. That would be worth watching.
@@shlepmessing8703 being nice is free and needed
@@shlepmessing8703 my use of improper grammar is intentional 🙃 and hopefully slightly annoying. Our education system sucks baseball's 😉
@@desireeespinosa3954 Did you upvote your own comment?
@@desireeespinosa3954 Hence the need to cut this pansy society bullshit and go back to holding people accountable. Telling everyone they're a victim isn't working.
Thank you New York fans for so intelligently expressing most of the country's sentiments.
@cock No it's not
Yes!!
This made me so happy to see them do that.
We need to greet all the Trumpists that way.
@@richardreynolds6398 ok groomer
Thank you New York!! I know we have our differences , but much love from a Bostonian for how you treated Ted Cruz. It was perfect, it needed to be said and I fully support it.
This monologue slayed.
Wow. New York really is a friendly city. Those people were way nicer than Ted Cruz deserves.
Sincerely 😂
@Lex_Slate
Yeah, I believe Cruz’s response, was something like:
“Oh, you’re so original! Like I don’t hear the exact same things, from my wife and kids, over breakfast every morning…”
Yes. I could've told that guy further material to use on him. (Eh, he probably knew it as well, but being in the moment is different than having relative calm to organize your words and thoughts.)
@@ThisCharmingMan1984 I mean, that assumes that his family is still willing to speak to him. I suppose there's evidence supporting the idea that they have very low standards, so it's possible.
Ah, New York, where people say "F^ck You" instead of "Good Morning" and it means the same thing.
"I am work with many police officers". This country is in so much trouble...
Vote 🗳
I cannot love New Yorkers more.
Herschel Walker's mind is lost in the wild west haha 😂 "he gave me a badge, that makes me an honorary deputy!"
I'll make sure to tell my 4 year old daughter she needs to go down the street and arrest that junkie
Cobb County has made it very clear that being an "honorary deputy" and getting that vanity badge means absolutely nothing. It makes you law enforcement the same way getting a lollipop from your doctor makes your child a brain surgeon.
Love New Yorkers. No one ever needs to ask what they really think. That's how it should be.
That’s probably the most honest New York welcome I’ve seen! 😂
Ted was experiencing that New York love🤣🤣🤣
Thank you to those New Yorkers who told Cruz the harsh truth. May they have a blessed day.
Way to go New York Fans, you guys are my new Heroes. Way to give it to that 💩
Plot twist:
The guy shouting the truth at Ted, was his own father.
While not technically true, at that moment he was certainly Ted's daddy
@@EditDeath Hahaha haha
EDIT: hahaha!
How many times do you reckon his dad has wished he could say all of that to his son over the decades since newbornTeddy came out, entering the world with a smarmy smirk, a clap of thunder and a mass exodus of aliens leaving the planet rather than be involved in a world where "people" give Teddy a podium?.... *allegedly* lol.....my guess is that it's since around the day baby Teddy doomed the world's future happiness by learning how to speak!
@@EditDeath Nice!
Lol😂
i've never been so proud of new yorkers in my life!
"In one second, you know whether or not it's all going to happen." And by "it", he means a civil lawsuit.
Oh man, I could watch a full hour of New Yorkers "welcoming" Ted Cruz, and not get tired of it.
We would be happy to do it anytime.
If Trump ever goes to Federal prison, I hope it's in New York and I hope that he's given a "parade" on the way for New Yorkers to truly express what they think of him. It would make Cruz's reception look like a loving hug by comparison.
@@Techydad I garantee he will never do time unfortunately
Love it! love it! That's what i want everybody to yell at Bad ted cruz when he is out in public. I laugh so hard and i watch it over and over!!!
Word is out that Cruz hid in a utility closet during the insurrection while putting the finishing touches on his argument to overturn the election!
that man screaming at ted cruz is a national hero
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭 I cant stop crying and laughing. You killed it Stephen! Brilliant monologue 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
As a non New Yorker living on the west coast who's never even set foot in the Big Apple, let me say that when I see the way those Yankees fans treat Senator Raphael "Ted" Cruz I can only respond with a quote from Winston Zeddemore;
"I LOVE THIS TOWN!"
Stay classy New York City.
O, my New Yorkers. One can always depend on you guys for keeping it real. I think there's a tear in my eye. So proud of you. You keep checking those spineless maggots until the very last one slithers back into the hole they crawled out of.
Your username fucking rocks!
@@couragekarnga8735 Thank you.
@@damemarthafalker6738
dnc establishment kill 50 in vegas/portland, thugs attack with stand down cops san jose/charlotte, burn loot several months, sabotage afgan withdraw using russia bounty smear to give taliban equip, crash car in to wisconsin parade thanks to nbc follow jury bus smearing ritten house too
a. www.youtube.com/watch?
b. ua-cam.com/video/q566pifdnU4/v-deo.html
💯
I love your profile pic !
"Democracy cannot succeed unless those who express their choice are prepared to choose wisely. The real safeguard of democracy, therefore, is education."
That Liz Truss thing had me laughing out loud :). And you gotta love New Yorkers...that Cruz thing made my night.
Raphael Warnock should put out a Herschel meme that says "Badges? We don't need no stinking badges!"
Stephen was on a roll tonight. It felt like a real stand-up segment.
This was epic , i could not stop laughing
As a New Yorker Im so proud of those guys
You should be proud, cuz I know I was and I'm from South Dakota
Hell, I'm not even from New York, but I'm proud of them as an American - and a human being. (No matter how much the likes of anti-choicers like Cruz himself would claim otherwise, I am a human f*cking being.)
I'm originally from NJ and I am equally proud of those guys!
I never stop cracking up when his band and that drum beat kick in with the dancing after a joke that makes a sick burn. Respect to the rhythm section.
Oh man those guys deserve an award or money or something!!! 🤩
Everyone focused on the fake badge and ignoring the statement about Hershel Walker challenging the Police to a shootout in the same sentence.
As a lifelong Red Sox fan never thought I’d say this………Yankees fans you are amazing!!!!! Bravo 👏 we finally agree on something ✌️
They were very thorough. 😂
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Came here to say the same.
As a Mets fan, ditto that.
Love the way Louis & the band are joining in w/ Stephen now during his monologue. Adds to his words!
Thank you New Yorker's for your treatment of Teddy. You made me smile. 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
That's the warm welcome Ted Cruz should get everywhere.
Missed you Stephen. Glad you're back.
Yes, congratulations to the new PM Sunak! He worked hard and deserves respect.
Those two guys yelling at Cruz were later given Medals of Model Citizenship and the crowed wouldn't let them pay for their own drinks that night. I give them a heart felt salute and my thanks for letting Cruz know how we feel about him.
Good Job New York!!!
That's the warmest welcome Ted Cruz has ever gotten
Worth the wait. What a show!!!!
As a Texan expat, I gotta say：y'all just gave him a taste of 'home'. This is what most of us do when given the chance - and what the rest secretly want to do, even though he's "on their side". Good on you for making him feel as welcome as he feels in Texas.
Current Texan here and I couldn’t agree more. I despise this man. I probably would have said worse but he refuses to meet with his constituents or hold a town hall.
Why do you keep him in office 🙄
@@lindaroundtree5396 it hasn’t been due to a lack of trying to get rid of him. Texas still has a LOT of red counties.
Vote him out! 💙💙💙💙 bring all your friends and neighbors, as well as anyone who just turned 18! Y'all got this!
Keep fighting the good fight. Texas demographics are changing and it's getting bluer every year. 💙💙💙
I'm in Texas, Cruz is our Senator. The heckler's detailed expletives are accurate.
Please vote Ted Sleaze out in 2024! The nation is counting on you!
Colbert has the best monologues of all the Late Night shows 👍🏻😂
Give that Yankee fan the keys to the city!!
I love New York, those guys are heros
The week is always so much harder when Stephen is off. Welcome back.
I know right, not only Colbert but Seth Meyers and Jimmy Kimmel all off the same week... that was a long sad week 😢
@@oneirishpoet Yeah, the Democratic party missed the free ride.
I literally suffer!!
He goes on as many breaks as Congress.
I know! I’m always so bummed when he takes time off. He really does take my stress level down a few notches.
That New Yorker holding back knowing his kids are listening
Priceless
"Royalty free wizarding child" gave me a solid laugh.
That looked like the Elder Wand. Hmmm.
*" Expecto no lawsuit!"*
The queen Victoria spinning in her grave joke was ✨ chef’s kiss ✨
My favorite moment of Liz Truss was when she said that she is not a quitter and then a day later quits
Almost as good as when she went on all the local radio stations with her memorised propaganda slogans, instead of answering the nation-wide outlets' questions, because she thought those would be so happy to get to interview a PM, she would get nothing but fluffy chats. Instead they ripped her a new one like never before and exposed her utter incompetence, even at basic communication.
That was a day when the journalists truly did their jobs and exposed the truth.
As a Washington fan from across the pond I salute those NY fans for the perspective, knowledge and ability to discern another’s character.
I sincerely hope that's they way everyone in America greets Ted Cruz from now on
As a Red Sox fan, I became a New York fan for two minutes, watching that clip of Yankees fans berating that coward Ted Cruz. Thank you, New York. ❤️
Screaming like a banshee isn't berating anyone. He just sounded like an unhinged lunatic, i.e. your garden variety liberal.
You see what you’ve done Ted Cruz?? You’ve made Yanks and Sox fans get along, instead of doing what we’re supposed to be doing.
Shit talking over overpriced hot dogs while two guys drunkenly fistfight behind the dumpsters before vomiting on themselves.
The New Yorkers yelling at Cruz was so damn funny!!!!
I want to do that little dance from now on 😂
Many people wouldn't yell obscenities at anyone, but most would make an exception for Ted!
Nah. New yorkers never shut the hell up. That's the problem
"arm … leg".
@@casbot71
Dang auto-correct...
Ted Cruz is a human bedbug infestation. Any time he gets insulted, a star is born.
Tentacles? Those are extremities. 😁
I love New Yorkers! You say what's on everyone's mind.
Two things:
New York loves Cancun Ted as much as we all do. 😂
Next time you're on vacation please notify me so I can be put into a coma until you're back. There's little reason to live without your nightly antics and humor.
My sentiments exactly lol!
Really solid opening. Great ending. I've never been to New York. But I've always loved New Yorkers attitudes. What a great way to close. I was almost in tears by the end of this one. Thanks stephen. Your writer's also nailed it in tonight
Herschel Walker's badge is every bit as real as his claims of being a great father.
Actually he hasn't made claims of being great, but it was bizarre how nonchalantly he responded to a question of having any contact with the children known to be his ~ beyond acknowledging them ~ he said to the reporter, "why?"!
Badge? We don't want his stinking badge!
He's not even an honorary father.
Ted Bundy used a fake police badge too.
@@notsure1969 This comment deserves a whole lot more appreciation!! Bravo!!! 👏
Goddamn chef’s kiss to those outstanding New Yorkers! Funniest and most quintessential I ❤ NY moment ever. Props from Australia 🇦🇺
This was so great! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Well done Mr. Colbert!