AlTA for Refusing To Share My Daughter's 27 Christmas Gifts With Her Half-brother Who Got 1.

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  • Опубліковано 23 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 32

  • @iamcurious9541
    @iamcurious9541 26 днів тому +16

    If there's a child invited to your house for Christmas, they should get a gift.
    It'd still be rough for him seeing his sister get 27 while he gets 2. Especially as he believes OOP is his father. But not getting him anything at all? That's just cruel.

    • @Sytrylt
      @Sytrylt 25 днів тому +2

      Getting a gift to the kid of the man your wife cheated on you with is also... complicated and difficult ! What's really cruel, is the women telling the child that he's his father when he clearly isn't !
      I believe they shouldn't do Christmas together ! Period. That's the better way to deal with that.

  • @lunarsensitive1
    @lunarsensitive1 28 днів тому +25

    Nah, OP should have had the sense to predict this situation happening and not agreed to inviting ex and her son over for Christmas. And if he really wanted it, then he should have gotten the boy a couple of pity gifts.

  • @poshpenny5385
    @poshpenny5385 28 днів тому +21

    Partially TA. If a child is coming to your house on Christmas while you are opening gifts, there should have been one for him. Does Zara not give a gift to her mom or brother for Christmas? Otherwise you should have opened them before the others arrived.

  • @lorianncostello531
    @lorianncostello531 28 днів тому +10

    Did she think she could steal your daughters presents? Did she think you’d get her son presents because he’d be there? She brought this on her son, not you. I feel bad for the boy.

  • @geraldlogue7620
    @geraldlogue7620 28 днів тому +7

    NTA... She's trying to force you to be the father to someone else's child...

  • @babsbybend
    @babsbybend 28 днів тому +10

    The boy would have thought the gift he unwrapped was his. Inviting mom and son (or any other child) over to watch her unwrap gifts was heartless.

  • @lisap2405
    @lisap2405 28 днів тому +20

    First she wants you to celebrate together and then she demands you to gift sth to her son without telling you. I understand that the little boy should not see Zara open 27 gifts while he opens only one, but then she should have told him to pack everything else away before arriving at OP's home and Zara could have had the rest to herself after they were gone

    • @Monster-ks2yx
      @Monster-ks2yx 27 днів тому +1

      Why should he? It's his and Zara's house. Ex has no right to say what goes on IN THIER HOUSE.
      If my ex came in and said what she would be out the door as well.

    • @lisap2405
      @lisap2405 27 днів тому

      @@Monster-ks2yx Not telling him like "do this and do that" but rsther in an informative way like in "hey, would be nice if both kids open the same or at least a similar amount and the little one will only get one present"

  • @Monster-ks2yx
    @Monster-ks2yx 28 днів тому +14

    NTA ex wife is trying to get you to financially help her. Shes playing you.

  • @lamirametius9108
    @lamirametius9108 26 днів тому +2

    ESH. Every adult, at least.
    Ex-wife was trying to force OP into a father's role, at least for a day. Manipulation, lies, disrespect - both for OP and her son.
    OP invited a child for Christmas and didn't prepare even a smallest gift, wich is quite rude.
    All this joined celebration was set to failure from the start.

  • @tkralva.6668
    @tkralva.6668 28 днів тому +11

    This is lack of communications on both parents (all parents) sides.
    At what point did the daughter's dad know the half brother would be there?
    27 gifts is a lot for anyone, 20 from one person and seemingly expensive gifts! Ok 10 for Xmas and 10 for birthday - but that is a lot! Was that normal or an attempt to show off because ex was coming round? Did he know the half brother was going ro be there?
    Could he not therefore have afforded.to buy at least one small gift for the half brother?
    Did they not discuss presents before arrival and understand that a younger brother, (no indication of age given but assuming young maybe preschool or lower primary) would feel left out.
    Both the parents are to blame for not discussing the logistics and understanding children.
    Amd trust me the daughter would also feel bad after that situation, no matter what the dad says.
    Mum ans dad both failed miserably.
    Mum lying to son, dad showing off

  • @tucagwathiel3380
    @tucagwathiel3380 27 днів тому +13

    "She told me she didn't mind as long as her half-brother didn't mess with her things"
    "Screaming for us to begin opening gifts"
    Are you raising a Dudley Dursley? Because she sounds like a Dudley Dursley ("36, that's two less than last year").
    I'm not saying you're responsible for buying gifts for her half-brother but sometimes there's a difference between responsibility vs kindness. Were you responsible to do so? No. But would it have been a kindness? Absolutely. Because at the end of the day, it's the adults who make the situation what it is and the boy is innocent in all of it.
    The fact that you stopped your own brother from giving her money for the boy when he's an adult and free to do as he wishes with his own money also says a lot about you.
    Personally, I think 27 gifts is excessive for any one kid unless it happens to be a very large family, but considering it's OP buying 20 gifts with relatives only providing 7, to me it's excessive even when taking Christmas presents into consideration.
    But if, in all that Christmas shopping, you REALLY didn't want to buy the boy anything, the kinder thing to do would have been to simply explain to your daughter that, for while her mom and half-brother are there, there'll only be one or two gifts out for her to open and OP would get out the rest of the presents for her to open once they left.
    She might be disappointed by the wait, but if she really didn't want him messing with her presents anyways, then she should be fine with the wait because that's the best way to avoid that.

    • @quinintheclouds
      @quinintheclouds 27 днів тому +2

      Idk, I partly agree, but if her brother has a history of breaking her things, I don't blame her for not wanting him to mess with them... and screaming in excitement is different than screaming in demand, but hard to say which this was. But yeah, he 100% should have bought the boy SOMETHING, I mean come on

    • @tucagwathiel3380
      @tucagwathiel3380 27 днів тому +1

      ​@@quinintheclouds Oh, I definitely agree on that. But that's also why I think OP should have only had one or two presents out for the daughter and then saved the rest for the daughter to open once the mom and half-brother were gone. Like I say, if she didn't want him messing with the presents, she'd understand the need to not open them in front of him. 27 presents in front of him is going to tempt him FAR more than seeing just the one or two, after all. I just get the feeling that OP knew having all those presents out would cause this situation and did it to stick it to his ex to make sure she wouldn't ask for a holiday together like this again.
      And true, screaming for excitement is different, but I rather feel that any kid, if they are getting 27 presents or so every year, is going to eventually become rather spoiled even if they are an otherwise good child outside of that. OP should clarify on that but, to be honest, the parallels of the amount of presents she was getting just automatically made me think of Dudley Dursley's line. Lol

    • @quinintheclouds
      @quinintheclouds 27 днів тому +2

      @@tucagwathiel3380 yeah I getcha, that poor boy must have felt awful the whole time

    • @tucagwathiel3380
      @tucagwathiel3380 27 днів тому +3

      ​@@quinintheclouds I feel so bad for him and I dislike that OP wouldn't even let his own brother give his ex some money. That says a lot about OP to me. :(

    • @Monster-ks2yx
      @Monster-ks2yx 25 днів тому

      ​@@tucagwathiel3380 Saya that his ex financial abused him in the past and he was protecting his brother from being a mark.

  • @christinaluna2055
    @christinaluna2055 28 днів тому +5

    What a crappy mother its her fault her son has nothing screwing a deadbeat and having a child by him is never a good life choice.

  • @Juliet-zq5sn
    @Juliet-zq5sn 24 дні тому

    I'm an only child and a Christmas Eve baby too. I always got about two gifts and taken out to lunch on my birthday. One gift was always pajamas for Christmas morning. When i had my son, I gave him pajamas on my birthday for him to wear Christmas morning. My family had opened gifts on Christmas Eve before I was born. After, we opened them on Christmas Day. And the pajama tradition was started when i was born. I don't think dad was TA. I feel bad for Zara's brother. But OP is NOT his dad. The kids should not
    Be made to feel bad. That's all on mom.

  • @DivinaKaNzA
    @DivinaKaNzA 27 днів тому +3

    Okay, it's definitely the ex's fault, but the desire to punish her by hurting the child, who has nothing to do with it, is obvious. especially considering Op even stopped the brother from giving money to the kid. And then 27 gifts? Seriously? ok making her feel special, but 27 gifts is over the top. This girl is going to grow up terribly spoiled.

  • @RedPanda74
    @RedPanda74 27 днів тому +5

    Wouldn’t have killed OP to have bought at least one little thing for the boy, maybe as a gift from Zara, but this whole scenario is the ex’s fault so NTA.

  • @quinintheclouds
    @quinintheclouds 27 днів тому

    no link to the post?

  • @ZanMindtrip
    @ZanMindtrip 28 днів тому +3

    The ex-wife brought this all on. Her expectation that you take care of her affair baby is wild. I feel bad for the kid, but its her fault the kid got hurt. The only thing is I wouldnt have them over, its xlear it wasnt something Zara wanted and the mom was hoping you would have done her and another man's job.

  • @Glitched_in
    @Glitched_in 26 днів тому +1

    Ok both parents are ta like for the guy thats just cruel to let that boy sit there and watch your daughter open all of her gifts infront of him. She could have opened them before they got there or after they left. The mom also sucks cause like why is she expecting him to get the boy anything extravagant. And yeah could he have probably gotten him a small toy yeah but still the mom shouldn't have been expecting a lot. But the boy shouldn't get punished cause the parents can't get their stuff together.

  • @fishnkidneys583
    @fishnkidneys583 27 днів тому +4

    Zara spends almost no time with her 1/2 brother--only 1 week/mo of the last 5 years.... She has like no relationship with him or her mother at all because she barely ever sees them. Only 1 wk/mo + occ. holidays, likely including Xmas... Yeah, that makes total sense. And you're not compensating for your ex leaving by spoiling your daughter at all... I'm sure this weird dynamic won't eventually screw her up... YTA for inviting your ex knowing her financial situation and that you were going to shower Zara with gifts in front of another kid. Be hard to explain how you didn't know it would cause drama...

  • @markball1531
    @markball1531 28 днів тому +12

    Yes. You are TA. Nice Christmas spirit. You have a black heart.

    • @JackieSkellington
      @JackieSkellington 28 днів тому +12

      He should not have agreed to the joined celebration

  • @Maleeha16378
    @Maleeha16378 26 днів тому

    I would say the ex should have kept her Christmas separate as she can’t give much to her son so dragging him to another man’s house just for him to see that his half sister is loved and cherished was cruel on her part.
    I understand your commitment that your daughter doesn’t need to make her day lesser just for her half brother but their is an aspect of humanity as well you don’t want to teach your child to be happy and don’t care if anyone else is feeling bad.
    This would have easily been avoided if you did your present opening at a different time and told the ex to come at a later time for maybe dinner or something.