Being one of your dive buddies who knew Melanie and watched this unfold, I can attest that no "funny business" was going on between you and Melanie. I will say that this was equally hard on Melanie as well, as your ex-wife decided to confront her, and threatened to ruin her marriage as well. Very unfortunate, I'm saddened that this happened to you, and to Melanie. Let's go diving and plan our next motorcycle adventure together, as life is too short to dwell on the past!
@bryandees8242 Thank you Bryan. It wasn't just Melanie. Christin was on an emotional roller-coaster largely due to hormonal drugs from IVF treatment. It has been quite a learning experience.
Totally random for me to come across this, I'm not even a diver. However, your story was told wonderfully and I found your passion captivating. As an outsider with no stake in your life, just from the limited glimpse of your story I got to see it sounds like you didn't do anything wrong aside from find your passion in life. You admit you shouldn't have tried to make her jealous, but by then the damage had been done, and not by you. Your wife ended your marriage the moment she prioritized her jealously over your happiness. Glad you came out of it with a new lease on life. I can only imagine great things are coming for you!
@TheDungeonMasterz Thank you for your support and words of encouragement. I know I'm not perfect, but I'm always trying to learn and improve who I am both with physical and mental health. I hope I can live my best life, and I'd like to help anyone along the way if there's anything I can share that would help out another person going through anything similar to what I've gone through.
Dude your preaching to the choir. You should hear my story of how my marriage fell apart. Both of them. When women are crazy there is no pleasing them.
That’s a terrible way to win your wife’s heart back. A decent and dedicated man is strong for his wife and family, no matter what. Reliable, trustworthy, stalwart. Your passion is your wife and kids. Above all else. That’s all that matters in life. I know I can rely on my husband no matter what. And I know he will always be here for me and the kids. We’re not perfect either. But I know he will move mountains for us.
@tarem4264 By the time I read the book, she was already gone. The fact that I reached out to that book, which wasn't until about a year without intimacy and after, was a last ditch effort. The fact that I was trying to "win your wife's heart back" indicates that she was already checked out. "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband... Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control" (1 Cor 7:3, 5).
your story is BS bro. You expect us AND your wife to buy that story??? I was married for 23 years buddy. Never did I go anywhere alone with a woman without first talking to my wife about it. You fucked up and got caught. end of story.
@QuantumStellar are you insinuating that I had intentions of cheating by going on a dive to look for a lost flashlight with a buddy diver who happened to be a woman? Maybe you don't interact with women professionally. For me there are numerous work settings where I was alone with a woman on a task. This dive was just a task.
As an aspiring filmmaker, I saw this as an opportunity to create a video with a story. My ex-wife had no interest in my stories, hearing about or seeing dive content. ua-cam.com/video/KW2OSiK4mdc/v-deo.htmlsi=U6jZ51cBNa3ad-5L
Yeah not a fan mate, change your video description to "how I lost my marriage" Im a diver, both rec and commercial, Diving didnt destroy your marriage, and giving your wife an ultimatum. . . .mate that was you.
Also, the fact that this guy actually took advice he read in a book and decided to mess with her insecurities by saying he wanted to date other women????? That was a real a-hole move. Maybe if he was honest about the dive beforehand and actually tried to save his marriage things could have worked out. I agree. Diving did not destroy his marriage.
@lizbecker1677 Telling her how I was feeling and letting her know my needs were not being met was not playing onnher insecurities. That's an example of open and honest communication.
@ArnovanWyk-q2j I appreciate your perspective, and thanks for watching. You're right, there were many things that contributed, IVF hormones, lack of intimacy. If my partner shared an interest in diving, and joined me by getting acquainted with people, I considered to be dive friends, I think there would have been a different outcome. The fact that she had a phobia of drowning and we couldn't see a future together that involved a lot of time around water, dive vacations, etc. That is what made me realize that I needed to go my own way.
I'm hesitant to promote this by commenting, but why did you put this on UA-cam? If your partner doesn't enjoy something you do you just go do it with friends and share your adventures with her when you get back home. You clearly weren't being an honest and loving partner in not accepting her for what she liked and being pretty trashy towards her over it. You were ready for things to be over, but instead of ending it you intentionally treated her crappily to make her the bad guy in the end. I rock climb, I have no expectations of my partners doing the same, but I am always honest with them about who I go with. You live in the home you make mate, make it better by being a better person yourself.
My ex-wife and I are friends. She likes things like horror movies and drama TV shows like Snapped. She supports me telling this story. I tried for 2 years to prove I wasn't having an affair. It's like she loved me enough to let me go and find a better partner. She wanted a different partner, too. We were different in life ambition. She wanted a Dr type of person who would support her in adopting a child after IVF failed, but not me. I can't really explain her side of the story, and I don't mean to make her a villain. We were just different. We were perfect for each other for a decade, but life went in a different direction. She convinced me for two years that I was in love with someone else, and she set me free to find the life that aligned with who I am and where I'm going. She's good now, but for us to stay together, it would have been like roommates. If you have suggestions for others that could help save their relationship, please share. For me, I would say the woman needs to love the man, too.
Being one of your dive buddies who knew Melanie and watched this unfold, I can attest that no "funny business" was going on between you and Melanie. I will say that this was equally hard on Melanie as well, as your ex-wife decided to confront her, and threatened to ruin her marriage as well. Very unfortunate, I'm saddened that this happened to you, and to Melanie. Let's go diving and plan our next motorcycle adventure together, as life is too short to dwell on the past!
@bryandees8242 Thank you Bryan. It wasn't just Melanie. Christin was on an emotional roller-coaster largely due to hormonal drugs from IVF treatment. It has been quite a learning experience.
Totally random for me to come across this, I'm not even a diver. However, your story was told wonderfully and I found your passion captivating. As an outsider with no stake in your life, just from the limited glimpse of your story I got to see it sounds like you didn't do anything wrong aside from find your passion in life. You admit you shouldn't have tried to make her jealous, but by then the damage had been done, and not by you. Your wife ended your marriage the moment she prioritized her jealously over your happiness. Glad you came out of it with a new lease on life. I can only imagine great things are coming for you!
@TheDungeonMasterz Thank you for your support and words of encouragement. I know I'm not perfect, but I'm always trying to learn and improve who I am both with physical and mental health. I hope I can live my best life, and I'd like to help anyone along the way if there's anything I can share that would help out another person going through anything similar to what I've gone through.
Dude your preaching to the choir. You should hear my story of how my marriage fell apart. Both of them. When women are crazy there is no pleasing them.
That’s a terrible way to win your wife’s heart back. A decent and dedicated man is strong for his wife and family, no matter what. Reliable, trustworthy, stalwart. Your passion is your wife and kids. Above all else. That’s all that matters in life. I know I can rely on my husband no matter what. And I know he will always be here for me and the kids. We’re not perfect either. But I know he will move mountains for us.
@tarem4264 By the time I read the book, she was already gone. The fact that I reached out to that book, which wasn't until about a year without intimacy and after, was a last ditch effort. The fact that I was trying to "win your wife's heart back" indicates that she was already checked out.
"The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband... Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control" (1 Cor 7:3, 5).
your story is BS bro. You expect us AND your wife to buy that story??? I was married for 23 years buddy. Never did I go anywhere alone with a woman without first talking to my wife about it. You fucked up and got caught. end of story.
@QuantumStellar are you insinuating that I had intentions of cheating by going on a dive to look for a lost flashlight with a buddy diver who happened to be a woman?
Maybe you don't interact with women professionally. For me there are numerous work settings where I was alone with a woman on a task.
This dive was just a task.
As an aspiring filmmaker, I saw this as an opportunity to create a video with a story. My ex-wife had no interest in my stories, hearing about or seeing dive content.
ua-cam.com/video/KW2OSiK4mdc/v-deo.htmlsi=U6jZ51cBNa3ad-5L
good that you know what you did wrong an you were able to identigy it. Sucks it was a terminal mistake!
It is what it is, and we all move forward from the past.
Yeah not a fan mate, change your video description to "how I lost my marriage" Im a diver, both rec and commercial, Diving didnt destroy your marriage, and giving your wife an ultimatum. . . .mate that was you.
Also, the fact that this guy actually took advice he read in a book and decided to mess with her insecurities by saying he wanted to date other women????? That was a real a-hole move. Maybe if he was honest about the dive beforehand and actually tried to save his marriage things could have worked out. I agree. Diving did not destroy his marriage.
@lizbecker1677 Telling her how I was feeling and letting her know my needs were not being met was not playing onnher insecurities. That's an example of open and honest communication.
@ArnovanWyk-q2j I appreciate your perspective, and thanks for watching. You're right, there were many things that contributed, IVF hormones, lack of intimacy. If my partner shared an interest in diving, and joined me by getting acquainted with people, I considered to be dive friends, I think there would have been a different outcome. The fact that she had a phobia of drowning and we couldn't see a future together that involved a lot of time around water, dive vacations, etc. That is what made me realize that I needed to go my own way.
I'm hesitant to promote this by commenting, but why did you put this on UA-cam? If your partner doesn't enjoy something you do you just go do it with friends and share your adventures with her when you get back home. You clearly weren't being an honest and loving partner in not accepting her for what she liked and being pretty trashy towards her over it. You were ready for things to be over, but instead of ending it you intentionally treated her crappily to make her the bad guy in the end.
I rock climb, I have no expectations of my partners doing the same, but I am always honest with them about who I go with. You live in the home you make mate, make it better by being a better person yourself.
My ex-wife and I are friends. She likes things like horror movies and drama TV shows like Snapped. She supports me telling this story. I tried for 2 years to prove I wasn't having an affair.
It's like she loved me enough to let me go and find a better partner. She wanted a different partner, too. We were different in life ambition. She wanted a Dr type of person who would support her in adopting a child after IVF failed, but not me. I can't really explain her side of the story, and I don't mean to make her a villain. We were just different. We were perfect for each other for a decade, but life went in a different direction.
She convinced me for two years that I was in love with someone else, and she set me free to find the life that aligned with who I am and where I'm going.
She's good now, but for us to stay together, it would have been like roommates.
If you have suggestions for others that could help save their relationship, please share.
For me, I would say the woman needs to love the man, too.