"Whales" - Jim Gaffigan Stand Up (Mr.Universe)

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  • Опубліковано 4 жов 2024
  • So I went whale watching and I have some thoughts... Why are whales so fat? They have no excuse...
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 421

  • @hockeyrd99
    @hockeyrd99 4 роки тому +190

    Everyone always comments that he's a clean comedian, but that never occurs to me when I watch him. I just enjoy the perfect timing and clever jokes. Funny is funny!

    • @Bacteriod
      @Bacteriod 2 роки тому +4

      He actually said "SHIT" once in a bit he was doing, and it really stuck out. I was like "Heyyy he swore" lol. Love Jim, going to see him next weekend! Can't wait.

  • @julietrain4383
    @julietrain4383 4 роки тому +176

    he takes the most normal subjects and turns them a masterpiece 😂😂

    • @vinces8974
      @vinces8974 Рік тому +2

      He’s a comedy genius

    • @jamesschmidt2160
      @jamesschmidt2160 9 місяців тому +1

      Whales, manatees, horses, and of course, hot pockets!!!!!

  • @theresaandrade8261
    @theresaandrade8261 4 роки тому +74

    "Pelican with machine gun" 😂😂😂😂

  • @PortaPunch
    @PortaPunch 4 роки тому +117

    One double edged sword about the internet age is that comedians get good exposure. The drawback is that they have their jokes out there for all to hear so they can't recycle them as often.
    Certain comedians I keep hearing their jokes over and over.
    Jim you do a great job keeping it fresh. Keep it up!

    • @stephenr80
      @stephenr80 4 роки тому +3

      thats like the best compliment really is not easy to build new sets I guess?

    • @lovelace8702
      @lovelace8702 4 роки тому +6

      So very true. I didnt think he could make whales so funny!

    • @touristguy87
      @touristguy87 4 роки тому

      Try not actually logging into YT

  • @uncleflansy5621
    @uncleflansy5621 4 роки тому +84

    I've heard this bit a million times, so I'm just here to give it a like. Probably one of the best pure comedy bits ever.

    • @toddb1765
      @toddb1765 4 роки тому +3

      I have to agree!!

  • @terryhaines8351
    @terryhaines8351 4 роки тому +85

    When listening to Jim Gaffigan, I am constantly wiping the laughter tears from my eyes! He is beyond hilarious!

    • @feliciataylor3772
      @feliciataylor3772 4 роки тому +2

      @Terry Haines It's okay as long as you aren't "wailing" from distress. 😉

  • @aaryntaylor
    @aaryntaylor 4 роки тому +382

    This man just picks random animals and then does a bit on them for way longer then you expect. I love it. Do cows next .

    • @brdrake765
      @brdrake765 4 роки тому +9

      And then adds a voice of a random complaining woman from the crowd (probably inspired by his wife’s comments to his thoughts) 😂 or he’ll do the same thing with food.

    • @ryanwitkowski3995
      @ryanwitkowski3995 4 роки тому +20

      He has 10 min of horse material worth a google

    • @aaryntaylor
      @aaryntaylor 4 роки тому +2

      @@michaeldoran4367 I didn't even notice that. Wow, hats off.

    • @Maliceah
      @Maliceah 4 роки тому +1

      But then you'd expect it.

    • @relaxedguy
      @relaxedguy 4 роки тому +1

      Just watched that with mom, awesome!

  • @carrrexx7190
    @carrrexx7190 4 роки тому +257

    I love whale watching.
    I'm a greeter at Walmart.

    • @gailducrest8851
      @gailducrest8851 4 роки тому +5

      Car Rexx you are hysterical. Thanks.

    • @Robert08010
      @Robert08010 4 роки тому +1

      Well you know, they say if you can find joy in your career, that's a good thing.

    • @carrrexx7190
      @carrrexx7190 4 роки тому +1

      @@gailducrest8851 👍😷

    • @ericperkins3078
      @ericperkins3078 4 роки тому

      You can date 'em, too. So I've heard.

    • @codynelson7575
      @codynelson7575 4 роки тому +1

      @Burr Anderson that's sad
      The customers are whales

  • @jenniferstrickland3232
    @jenniferstrickland3232 4 роки тому +135

    Pro-tip: don't watch this while rocking your infant to sleep; I couldn't stop laughing.

  • @ascetic3312
    @ascetic3312 4 роки тому +51

    I don't think any other comedian ever makes me laugh as much as Jim Gaffigan.

    • @DMO-DMO-DMO
      @DMO-DMO-DMO 4 роки тому +2

      Seeing him live I practically wrecked my abdomen from laughing so much

    • @litoxxlito_axx7318
      @litoxxlito_axx7318 4 роки тому +3

      His materials are so clean and funny at the same time, it’s beautiful

  • @kathleenaltherr6836
    @kathleenaltherr6836 4 роки тому +45

    This is so darn funny. My husband and I used to live on the beach in VA and this routine is still a part of our conversation when we need to laugh. The best ever. Thank you, Jim, for all the laughs. As a nurse, I can tell you that laughter is sometimes the best medicine.

    • @Ozzie1420
      @Ozzie1420 4 роки тому +1

      Whales getting old and losing control of their blow holes is where I had to sign off, I just didn't sign in for that! Besides, I'm 81, nuff said??? Where did Mark and Charlotte Ritchey Go?

    • @JohnnyMuzak
      @JohnnyMuzak 4 роки тому +1

      @@Ozzie1420 you should have stuck around its just getting good, the dominos pizza bit is gold

  • @orleansartist6095
    @orleansartist6095 4 роки тому +23

    I have never heard a comedian whose jokes are just as funny even when Ive seen the special before. I love the voices, the self deprecation, the new way he thinks abput things.

  • @julieyamada4328
    @julieyamada4328 4 роки тому +63

    Thank you Jim Gaffigan for making my day. Daily. Really.

    • @jimgaffigan
      @jimgaffigan  4 роки тому +16

      thanks

    • @marktoombs6276
      @marktoombs6276 4 роки тому +4

      He is hilarious.

    • @Sponsorship4u2
      @Sponsorship4u2 4 роки тому +2

      @@jimgaffigan You have truly helped me (and many of us) keep our sanity during this pandemic!
      Between working from home, Homeschooling and cooking like I work in a prison cafeteria daily I am truly exhausted
      Your comedy is a lifeline to my sanity!!

  • @petermyers479
    @petermyers479 4 роки тому +316

    Funniest clean comic in America.

    • @johnblake5962
      @johnblake5962 4 роки тому +22

      Him and brian regan are the most clean comedians but also imho the most consistently funny comedians out there. Their material just doesnt age

    • @hayleychase4619
      @hayleychase4619 4 роки тому +6

      Tim Hawkins, though

    • @hineighbor
      @hineighbor 4 роки тому

      Brian Regan, and Jerry seinfeld obviously

    • @jeffreykamke
      @jeffreykamke 4 роки тому +2

      Jim and Tim Hawkins are the best

    • @boxadorsrus5991
      @boxadorsrus5991 4 роки тому +2

      My wife and I just love Jim Gaffigan. Other clean comics can be found on UA-cam at DryBar comedy.

  • @LisbethAdams
    @LisbethAdams 4 роки тому +9

    My husband said Whales are the Eeyore of the SeaWorld. Must be. Your imitation of them brought me to tears.😂

  • @CWBella
    @CWBella 4 роки тому +50

    "When are you a captain and when are you just a drunk guy with a boat?"

  • @jeffs6090
    @jeffs6090 4 роки тому +19

    Holy crap....."the Domino's effect"!!🤣🤣🤣

  • @imacloud11
    @imacloud11 4 роки тому +13

    "& a distant third,
    the lion on a jet-ski"
    lost it 😂😂😂

  • @MWeatherbear
    @MWeatherbear 4 роки тому +29

    “If fat made a noise it’d be blub ber” LMAO 😂😂😂

  • @jeremybaca2293
    @jeremybaca2293 4 роки тому +21

    “Just like Mama Domino used to make” 😂

  • @Elon_Trump
    @Elon_Trump 4 роки тому +4

    I Was feeling crappy today. You totally lift my spirits Jim thanks for all the laughs.

  • @benr77
    @benr77 4 роки тому +44

    next Dominos product: bread in a bread bowl sprinkled with breadcrumbs, and your drink in a bread cup

  • @samhouston1979
    @samhouston1979 4 роки тому +119

    “Pelican With A Machine Gun” is going to be my Metal Band name

  • @hockeyrd99
    @hockeyrd99 4 роки тому +18

    "The old whale-geography-diarrhea joke.. coming in handy"... nice to know it's there when you need it! lol My all time favorite routine of yours. Thanks for the laughs Jim!

  • @TheBankruptSoul
    @TheBankruptSoul 4 роки тому +4

    My favorite comedian. Such effortless comedy.

  • @Anonymous-gg4yv
    @Anonymous-gg4yv 4 роки тому +27

    Thank you, Jim Gaffigan! I have been a fan since "Beyond the Pale" and still have my CD's in clear, cracked, plastic cases to prove it! I see and appreciate what you and your family are doing to help us through quarantine.

  • @MisterTwister88
    @MisterTwister88 4 роки тому +16

    Jim you’re the best, Thank you for your humor

  • @RenEmell
    @RenEmell 4 роки тому +18

    Mr. Universe was the first time my family ever watched you, and we laughed out asses off! We still quote your jokes from this clip! Love it

    • @RedRonFJB
      @RedRonFJB 4 роки тому

      so that's what happened to your asses

  • @MegaPainLove
    @MegaPainLove 4 роки тому +113

    He just seems like he would be way cool to hang out with.

    • @hockeyrd99
      @hockeyrd99 4 роки тому +3

      Maybe have him over for a Domino's Pasta Bread Bowl!

  • @aquacrocwherry3321
    @aquacrocwherry3321 4 роки тому +33

    Whales sound like they had one too many pasta bread bowls

  • @AnnaPxx
    @AnnaPxx 4 роки тому +3

    The entire skit is one killer joke after the other. And the different voices! Also he cracks up nearly every time he does that brilliant whale sound 🤣

  • @rinprom8488
    @rinprom8488 4 роки тому +3

    Hands down!! Best comedian on the planet!
    Only Jim can make me laugh my azz off. Thank you Jim!

  • @ryanturner8577
    @ryanturner8577 4 роки тому +15

    Jim is doing us a great service by entertaining us during these times. Feels good to get some belly laughs in.

  • @Buzzygirl63
    @Buzzygirl63 4 роки тому +15

    one of his best routines. I cried laughing the first time I saw this. 😂

  • @mitsuomits9077
    @mitsuomits9077 4 роки тому +4

    "What's tsa matta for you!?"😂😂😂😂

  • @jasonerb2577
    @jasonerb2577 4 роки тому +15

    I used to order the chicken alfredo bread bowl at Perkins 20+ years ago when I was in college. I graduated fat. #relatable.

  • @DefenderofFuture
    @DefenderofFuture 4 роки тому +2

    "I was thinking sperm whale or booger whale" LMAO

  • @Hermes_Agoraeus
    @Hermes_Agoraeus 4 роки тому +19

    7:25 - I almost did a spit-take when I heard "died". Pro tip: don't drink anything while watching these.

  • @AnthonyHafciojoni
    @AnthonyHafciojoni 4 роки тому +14

    I haven’t laughed this hard 4 ever 😝🤪🤣
    You👉

  • @296jacqi
    @296jacqi 4 роки тому +4

    He’s amazing.

  • @undeadalive_4647
    @undeadalive_4647 4 роки тому +2

    Jim you are amazing at comedy every time I watch you you make my day.

  • @suebrown3465
    @suebrown3465 4 роки тому +12

    You managed to go from whales to pizza ...well played sir!

  • @starryagent9936
    @starryagent9936 Рік тому

    “Number one, mankind, number two, the pelican with a machine gun...and in distant third the lion on a jet ski.”
    DEAD 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @lovelace8702
    @lovelace8702 4 роки тому +7

    He takes the cake!! Blub-bler haha if fat made sound.

  • @solsister1223
    @solsister1223 3 роки тому +3

    You always make me laugh! This last year I lost my mom and my dog! It’s been hard. Your comedy has really helped! Thank you and don’t ever stop!

  • @happysmurfette
    @happysmurfette 4 роки тому +7

    Luv the content, his gestures, facial expression & visuals he creates😆🤣🤣 he’s my top 3!! Brilliant.
    Thank You JG🐳🍕🥓🍟🥖

  • @robertcooper1952
    @robertcooper1952 Рік тому +1

    A true comedy genius!

  • @peteandpatluboff
    @peteandpatluboff 4 роки тому +1

    What a wonderful gift of laughter you are giving us! Thank you!

  • @madinfl03
    @madinfl03 4 роки тому +1

    Exactly what I was thinking about pizza with bread and bread. LOL

    • @madinfl03
      @madinfl03 4 роки тому

      Whaaat?!!! For real?! Is it Jim or a personal assistant? If it's really you, Jim, you're absolutely hysterical. I'm so glad I found your UA-cam channel. Hope you and your family stay well!

  • @jaykyleph
    @jaykyleph 4 роки тому +121

    Speaks whale better than dory.

  • @libertygiveme1987
    @libertygiveme1987 4 роки тому +3

    It's been awhile since I've seen this one. I FORGOT HOW HYSTERICAL IT IS!!!! Nobody does an "ITALIAN (MOBSTER) ACCENT" like Gaffigan!!!!

  • @xkil0wattx752
    @xkil0wattx752 4 роки тому +2

    Indian Ocean joke murdered me

  • @AhKiOye
    @AhKiOye 4 роки тому +1

    Had me at the "whale geography diaherra" joke 🤣🤣

  • @tomlemole4164
    @tomlemole4164 4 роки тому +1

    Ahhhhh, the pasta bread bowl! It's just like Momma Domino used to make!

  • @roohamm2456
    @roohamm2456 4 роки тому +1

    The laughs from the Gaffigan family and All the good works you have done during the lockdown made be SAF- NOT so horrible! God Bless you ALL 💚🌎🌷🕯️☮️

  • @myaries5829
    @myaries5829 4 роки тому

    He's always has such a new outlook and talks about stuff no one else even thinks about. So talented

  • @EchoRhythmMusic
    @EchoRhythmMusic 4 роки тому +9

    Carbolicious!

  • @SamuelSimmons-iw8jo
    @SamuelSimmons-iw8jo 9 місяців тому

    I have heard this so many times and it never fails to make me laugh

  • @Deepak19944
    @Deepak19944 4 роки тому +6

    This is some brilliant content!

  • @eopal-uk265
    @eopal-uk265 4 роки тому +16

    I like Jim - No vulgarity or disgusting language

  • @ShiftingDrifter
    @ShiftingDrifter 4 роки тому +1

    "Pasta in bread bowls? That's a sign of a serious eating disorder! [Gruff Voice] 'I was outta control! I was put'n pasta in bread bowls - was a matter of time before I covered it in cheese... I needed help!. I went to a meeting - it worked out.'" lol...

  • @jtorres133
    @jtorres133 2 роки тому

    “Eh look at that miniature whales…” 🤣 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @yvettekelley2155
    @yvettekelley2155 Рік тому +1

    Jim this is one of my favorite routines of yours I view it and crack up every time! Thanks for being you!

  • @veterantraveler
    @veterantraveler 4 роки тому +5

    Living off the “blubberment” 😬

  • @sanchpaul0223
    @sanchpaul0223 2 роки тому

    8:22 - How great was "The Dominos Effect" ??? I'm still laughing

  • @ginnymeljac2300
    @ginnymeljac2300 4 роки тому +2

    OMG! You were so hilarious! The sound effects! I just can’t thank you enough! This has been so very hard for me and all I want to do is laugh again. The Gaffigan’s are a super family! Stay safe! 💕💕🇺🇸😂😂

  • @stephenlupoli
    @stephenlupoli 4 роки тому

    That is definitely my favorite bit. I’ve watched it five times.

  • @lori_marie
    @lori_marie 2 роки тому +1

    I can always count on Jim to cheer me up after a rough day. I also appreciate his family-friendly humor. Don’t see that very often anymore.

  • @JD-go2qj
    @JD-go2qj 4 роки тому +23

    Domino's got rid of the bread bowl. I think it was because of your joke.

    • @Alina-su9jg
      @Alina-su9jg 4 роки тому

      I miss those!

    • @JD-go2qj
      @JD-go2qj 4 роки тому

      @@easye5653 you can still get pasta in a foil pan, but I always got a cheese bread side. Bread bowl solved the issue and was so delicious. And yes they are covered in cheese. More like a light sprinkling, but certainly not non existent or an exaggeration 👍

    • @JD-go2qj
      @JD-go2qj 4 роки тому

      @Stephanie Logan picture all that delicious pasta resting on a warm bed of freshly baked bread. Gosh that's the best food porn 😂 I agree on little Caesar's. I like their cheese bread and deep dish pizza.

  • @kennethboylan6130
    @kennethboylan6130 4 роки тому +2

    I kept putting off the whale sketch because I thought, "How can you possibly make whales funny?" So glad I was wrong and finally watched it!

  • @codmpink
    @codmpink 4 роки тому +1

    I don't know how, but Jim can literally make anything funny. Even whales xD

  • @brodyharris7631
    @brodyharris7631 4 роки тому +5

    FUNNIEST. COMEDIAN. EVER. I think you kids say GOAT

  • @readyupwait6138
    @readyupwait6138 3 роки тому +4

    My kids want to tell jokes bc I tend to make most of my friends laugh. I let them listen to a Jim gaffigan special and it resulted in my 2 kids saying hot pocket for 4 straight days 😂

    • @mehill00
      @mehill00 2 роки тому

      That’s hilarious.

  • @lextreasure5537
    @lextreasure5537 2 роки тому

    JIM GAFFIGAN IS SO FUNNNYYY OMG HE IS A TRUE COMIC. HIS JOKES ARE SO CLEAN!!!!!

  • @juliettadowney2381
    @juliettadowney2381 2 роки тому

    I am in tears over this whale bit and I’ve seen it before. FUNNIEST jokes he did ever 🤣

  • @nymalous3428
    @nymalous3428 4 роки тому +9

    I would have watched this "live" but I was in the middle of a meeting... I almost did anyway...

  • @jylbek71
    @jylbek71 4 роки тому +3

    I ADORE you, Jim!!! Comedy at its best, truly.

  • @hippiecowgirl4231
    @hippiecowgirl4231 4 роки тому +1

    Brilliant material and delivery !

  • @Turco949
    @Turco949 4 роки тому +1

    Leaderboard of Whale Killers: #1 Mankind, #2 Pelican with the machine gun ....and distant #3 Lion on a jet ski. LMAO!

  • @stephenr80
    @stephenr80 4 роки тому +3

    brilliant business ideas always with old mafia accent xD

  • @tonydecker1263
    @tonydecker1263 4 роки тому +3

    water weight😂🤣

  • @kylestubbs8867
    @kylestubbs8867 4 роки тому +42

    “Whale-watching is equal to water-staring.”
    -Demetri Martin

  • @314jph
    @314jph 4 роки тому

    When are you a captain and when are you just a drunk guy with a boat!?! Hahaha

  • @stevejames5863
    @stevejames5863 2 роки тому

    thank you jim, i ve just got out of the hospital, your comedy is comforting me, thank you, bro...god be with you... steve.

  • @thetroopoftruth4820
    @thetroopoftruth4820 4 роки тому +1

    I love this section so much! Thank you!

  • @stephandewinter2743
    @stephandewinter2743 7 місяців тому

    “The old whale geography diarrhea joke, coming in handy…” is actually one of the only jokes that made me cry laughing. I watched it at night and I woke up the entire house 😂

  • @hope5360
    @hope5360 4 роки тому +7

    Have gone whale watching sooo many times! Luv the whole experience. One time dozens of whales were breaching all around us in every direction. We were near Plymouth, MA around July 4th. Really fun to see! 🐳 ❤⛴

  • @scottolson1105
    @scottolson1105 4 роки тому +6

    I miss the old 90's slimy greasy pizzas, when i would be coming in off a 5 month boat contract the thought of Dominoes slimy pie was #2 or #3 on my list of things to do. The cheese was fantastic.

  • @Kcali111
    @Kcali111 4 роки тому

    Lol the whole pasta bread bowl bit. Lol. Your hilarious Jim. I love your style of comedy.

  • @pharumnelson7108
    @pharumnelson7108 4 роки тому +1

    So good Jim
    Thanks G

  • @RedRonFJB
    @RedRonFJB 4 роки тому +3

    Jim that is Mr. Gaffigan must have been like this back in high school.

  • @ericgamino478
    @ericgamino478 2 роки тому

    "When are you a Captain and when are you just a drunk guy with a boat?"
    -Absolute Comedy

  • @joshuabartley656
    @joshuabartley656 4 роки тому

    Man this bit about whales is probably one of my favorite colony bits. Hands down the pelican with the machine gun lollolool. This man is a comedy genius

  • @lxy7820
    @lxy7820 4 роки тому +2

    It doesn't matter how many times I've seen this, sad whale noise and "BLUB-BER" make me squeal laugh every time. And thanks for cussing on Twitter at the right time. That's good cussing!

  • @andrewcepeda
    @andrewcepeda 4 роки тому

    Jim Laugh again, and again, and again!!

  • @wmspins
    @wmspins 4 роки тому +3

    Always great Jim! You make me laugh daily! Just what we need in these times! Keep up the great work!

  • @patriciamoore6492
    @patriciamoore6492 Рік тому

    Listened to the entire show which included this bit and belly laughed, wiping tears! Great stress relief, which I really needed. Thanks for being my go to comic.

  • @SGTBizarro
    @SGTBizarro 4 роки тому

    "Ahh the pasta bread bowl, just like-a Momma Domino used to make!" Fuckin hell I laugh so hard at this every time.

  • @CoolAirVw
    @CoolAirVw 4 роки тому +2

    so funny!

  • @alliesgalaxy8644
    @alliesgalaxy8644 3 роки тому +1

    The thumbnail 😂