Hey guys! Wanted to chat and talk about this topic that’s been on my heart for a bit. I know this can be a sensitive topic so if it’s triggering in any way, my apologies. Also please watch the entire video, I bring up several points and different perspectives that we can discuss ❤❤
Yep I'm planning to lose some weight and I know right away I'll be treated differently. It's happened before. I know how it feels to be a very thin person well into my 20's and thr good treatment is unmatched. I'm doing it to be healthy but I also know to get back out dating it's super helpful. Also if you want to change careers and get a new job it's helpful to be smaller. It's crazy but this is life and I actually feel better smaller. People have to understand this is biological. The slimmer and more symmetrical we are the more attractive we are.
When people comment on your weight, ask them “do you have a problem with my weight” or “are you tracking my weight?”. Don’t take that ish in or keep it, send it back to sender immediately.
This sounds like you are triggered though. Most people are just stating an observation especially if you haven’t seen the person in a while. And depending on the person they may be considerate of your feelings or double down and really “joke” about it. Because if they were really a friend they’d already know your weight is a sensitive topic.
@@ValentinoQ Friend or not, people have no business commenting on people's weight. You never know what people are going through. Just because you have friends doesn't mean that you're open to them about your insecurities or self-esteem issues. We all have eyes and everybody notices other people's weight. I just don't go out of my way to comment on other people's weight, I ain't a Weight Watchers coach lol. Even if I had the perfect body, I wouldn't want people to track my weight, that's weird af.
This video came almost like a miracle. We all need to remind ourselves even as adults that our worth is not determined by our body size or shape or weight. We are deserving of Love. We are made perfectly in Gods image. Thank you Chizi for this post!
As long as we are healthy that's all that matters. Like seriously my doctor is not chasing me down with weight loss shakes because I weight too much or protein shakes because I weigh too little. I can lift more and walk more and swim and cycle more than some people younger and thinner than me. Can we please look at other markers of health instead of people's dress size or weight?
On the flip side, we need to be more sensitive to people who are naturally skinny. Their size, just like bigger people, seems to ALWAYS comes up in a conversation. And it can be an insecurity of theirs. Even for men!
I was about to leave a comment about this. There are friends and women who have taken it upon themselves to remind me that I need to eat. I think women just like picking on people to make themselves feel better about their size
Please don’t. I have a smaller frame and I’m muscular, but at 163 I don’t feel I’m skinny, a lot of black women love to say that I’m skinny, all of them are obese. If I were to point that out they’d probably be heated
I am with you. I have joined the gym and the favouritism that I've seen from TRAINERS towards thinner people over bigger people is disgusting. They will literally avoid bigger people not know what to say and treat them only as someone to lose weight not a whole person and can be quite patronising in their approach from what ive observed. This applies to not only me but in my general scanning of my environment. I feel like they need better more relevant training on how to interact with people of all sizes and abilities because society has changed. There ARE MORE people in bigger bodies than previous times. You can't apply the same way of treating people as then because the discrimination will become more obvious.
That's terrible...look for a gym that is more inclusive. My local gym and swimming pool has Elderly, fat, thin, teenagers, kids, middle age, people with physical and mental disabilities and injuries. They run group sessions for all abilities! Also I'm not sure how long you have gone to the gym.....sometimes the "thinner" people have been going there longer and more regular so that's why the trainers are friendly to them because they know them more. When I go during a quiet period at my gym and ask for help, they always help me...I'm 205lbs/93 kg with a bad knee wrapped up. Please ask for help..I work with the public in a supermarket and I don't always approach new people because people often want to do things themselves to maintain their independence. When I go shopping I don't want to be approached. Lol! But I have autism my default is to avoid people...but I've had to learn to ask for help. Most decent people will help you if you are struggling and you ask for help. Maybe it's just my gym because I know that and have seen them train people of all abilities and there is no Instagram models in there posing with cameras. Lol! if anything make them do their job as it pertains to you and call the manager. Lol!
@marleyhill34 it is a community gym there ARE people of all ages races sizes and abilities there and also that work there. It is probably labelled as inclusive because of that. however it doesn't mean that people that work there anf others still don't have their prejudices. I'm not ignorant to that. How would you challenge something like this which isn't overtly offensive but you notice it. Being bigger losing and gaining weight over the years I have an eye for these things and that is even me taking myself out of it and just 'people watching'. Some may call it projecting but I don't think this is. We all know society is fatphobic in and it can manifest in subtle behaviours and this can include the 'inclusive' gym too. Personally I ignore it because it doesn't affect my workout however I'd be lying if I said I didn't notice these things.
As a stoic I never complement anyone except on things I’m 100% certain about like lipstick color an outfit or hair and that’s only if I know the person is just dying for a compliment and frequently asks for them. Everything else, I keep quiet. I don’t care how big your belly is…if you don’t tell me you’re pregnant I’ll talk about the weather.
Hi Chizi, Whilst I completely understand where you are coming from, I think it can be more complex than this. Now, the main point I wanted to make is that when you’re on a “healthy” weight loss journey, you’re probably more active and eating much better.. this lifestyle change will show in your skin, your hair, and that may be why people mention a “glow”. Not necessarily because you’re slimmer but just because you’re glowing as a result of living a better lifestyle. Personally, I’ve seen people comment on weight loss in both a positive and negative way, even from Nigerian aunties and uncles :)… ah ah, aren’t you eating? You’re losing too much weight, you’re too skinny. When people lose weight due to sickness or stress it may actually be very evident (I.e sunken face, a lot less muscle etc) and prompt loved ones to ask if everything is ok. I agree that people should generally be very mindful about commenting on people’s weight but I do think there is a place for it in the right context (either to appreciate positive changes or express concern to a loved one).
Exactly my point in my comment. I still joked with one of my closest friends earlier today about how she needs to eat more and reduce her NSPPD late night prayers/fasting😁If something was wrong, that would have been an avenue for her to share with me rather than me look away and act unbothered at how much weight she’s lost.
I compliment about weight ONLY with friends and family when I know they have been working hard to lose weight or gain weight; other than that, I have no comments about other people's weight.
When I gained weight I was absolutely shocked at the unsolicited negative comments on my body... absolutely unreal. They don't even realise how damaging that is.
Yo, I lost 129lb!!!!! And the difference in the attention I am getting now is scary!!! I did get surgery and I was 304lbs on surgery day and 324lb at my heaviest. People (especially guys) who used to bodyshame me are now like "I always had a crush on you, I just didn't know how to tell you" like boy! Stop lying !!!! People be acting like they would have treated me the same if they knew me when i was 324lbs. In 90% of the case it's not true
While I was gaining weight, my mother was losing weight. My mother has always been my biggest critic (and my first bully), she didn't hesitate to brag about how much smaller her body was compared to mine. She didn't hesitate to call me a "blimp", how my breasts looked, how my stomach looked. It wasn't until I found out I have Hypothyroidism and my mother found out she has colon cancer (and that was the reason for her rapid weight loss) that her venom towards me stopped. I've been skinny and got made fun of. I've had friends who were plus size girls and got made fun of. Though I'm not as skinny as I used to be, I'm on a journey of loving myself the way I am now. Learning to live with my diagnosis because I'll be on thyroid medicine for the rest of my life and keeping a good bill of health with each doctor visit. I've never been in the business of making other peoples bodies my business.
one thing that I always come back to is that we seem to always look back on old pictures like “oh I used to think I was so fat, I wish I looked like that now.” so I very well could have, in this moment, the body that I will be wishing and hoping for in a couple years lol. so I’ve just accepted like you said, today is my reality and I’m going to love on this body that’s serving me today. and interestingly, developing that genuine appreciation of my body is what has led me and motivates me to care for it. the mind is a powerful thing!
I wish that was the case. I looked back at a few photos in my early 20s and I know I was too thin. When I get really stressed I do not eat. in fact now I'm relieved to be fat ( from neurodivergent medication) because I'm currently going through a stressful period and I know my body has fat to burn so I'm not as weak as I could be. I used to feel faint and have low blood sugar when I was thinner...it was very bad..in addition to nutrient deficiencies. My body is stronger now and has more muscle and more nutrients and I don't care what anyone says I'm enjoying these fat body DD cups before it's time for me to go back to my thin body A cup. Lol!
I read this book called “Your Good Body” and that scripture of “you’re wonderfully and fearfully made” shook me because it’s so true! When I truly think of how I want people to view me , it’s not by my looks but by my internal , morals and positively how I made em’ feel . Body fat will come and go and such a surface level convo’ unless it’s a concerning health issue
I think healthy weight loss is a sign of good health physically and mentally. It shows discipline, I’m sorry but no one feels good when they look constantly bloated and fat, it looks uncomfortable
I think the point is we are all humans and have different stages in life. Not everyone at every stage is mentally strong to imbibe discipline. I think offering grace while also educating people on healthy weight loss is good. Like you said no one feels good when you’re bloated and fat.
Yea but emphasis on healthy. And we don’t really know if someone is going through healthy weight loss unless THEY tell us. Just one of many reasons why commenting on other people’s bodies unwarranted doesn’t really contribute to healthy weight loss
I don't comment on people's weight unless forced to, but being smaller is better for health. It is absolutely true. People do treat you better, but it's also you because your energy is different when you are smaller. I went from 215, to 170 and now to 145. I'm happy at this weight . Strangers are more likely to smile and engage. It's true.
Whew sis this was very much needed. I was verbally abused & bullied as a child due to my weight. I am still dealing with the aftermath. Thanks so much 🤗
@AnaJots for me it’s similar but in the opposite way. Getting more male attention kinda concerns me. Not all men are bad but there are some characters out there.
I was literally holding my phone when the notification came through. I said, "Hold on, did that say Chizi". Now let me go watch and like the video. Lol
I agree totally I gained weight dealing with trauma of loss and grief and a supposed friend asked me during funeral arrangements if I have been eating potatoes errday😅 being slim most of my life il never forget how I felt n will continue being very kind to anyone not looking their best because their is always a reason...no one wants to look bad ever!😊 let's try n be kind
Love this video great finally talking about this weight issue that we all might have I have cancer had 11 blood transfusion lost alot of weight doing better cancer hasn't spread. Thank you your a beautiful woman .
Congratulations on doing better. My weight loss and weight gain are linked to my neurodivergent brain. I only found out that I was autistic this year. It explains everything. I refuse to beat myself up over my too small or too big size every again.
Glad you are talking about this topic. I’ve been on a weight yo-yo for 3 years due to thyroid issue. Latest weight is the heaviest I’ve ever been in so I have been hiding from social media- no vacation or birthday pics which I’ve always loved to share. I don’t want to be judged- I feel like I’m my worst critic and don’t want anyone to pile on. I’m going to continue to protect myself heart and keep my pictures off the internet- for now.😢
I’m sorry you feel that way 😢 I would encourage you to work through the internal thoughts and feelings and still take pictures for your own memories at least. Time is precious and you are deserving of documenting every part of your life ❤
I feel you, I'm in the same situation. There is nothing wrong with not sharing pictures of yourself. As long as you enjoy the moment. Stay save and best wishes
Hugs....I gained a lot of weight due to medication to manage my neurodivergent brain. I really enjoyed my fat body because before I was the "too thin girl". All I care about now is that I'm healthy ACCORDING TO MY DOCTORS and happy. If that means I don't fit everyone's ideal body weight, they can go and kick rocks. Nah I'm 42 and I'm re-claim-ing my time!!! My parents already know if they comment on my weight, I will comment back on theirs. Lol! I've decided that if people make me uncomfortable unnecessarily, I will be making them uncomfortable too so they realise their mistake!! Works with my young male managers.... Them: Why is work taking you so long? Me: Because I'm on my period and I'm being stabbed in my back, tummy, thighs, bum and vagina even though I took the maximum amount of painkillers allowed. Would you like me to overdose on painkillers? they usually leave me alone for the rest of the day. Lol! My Miserable Middle-aged Millennial brain has no chill. Play with my fat ars£ at your own peril. Just wait till we start hitting the menopause....they will see what it's like for your body to fall off.
@yosig Sorry to hear this has knocked your confidence and I relate to the weight gain, I would advise just try to be active and eat whole non processed foods and please be kind to yourself and give grace. Life is short and you deserve happiness no matter what size you are. I had a thyroid issue and through changing my diet, I have helped manage my symptoms and so far dropped 30lbs. Please read medical medium book on thyroid healing as it may help you. All the best.
Yes it's a thing I became very sick and gained a lot of weight the thing that hurt the most was family members I worked through all the ugly and now I'm happy still over weight but happy
When I'm going through things I learn to isolate myself from unhelpful and unsupportive people regardless of whether them being family or friends. A lot of us gain weight due to sickness and that is not our fault for getting sick.
I don't treat myself the same since I've gained weight! Even though I wouldn't think of treating a friend differently. I can't imagine telling someone that they look fat 😮, the rudeness is too much for me! Why go out of your way to be deliberately hurtful?
I don't treat myself the same either. I'm feeling and looking at my rolls and my fat boobs and fat arse and my giant thighs and saying " girl you are sex on legs.!!" Lol! Yeah I was the "too thin" girl with no boobs growing up. I'm actually a nudist as part of my whole self-acceptance journey and I can tell you everyone be looking at my fat shape in approval!! Nope I'm giving myself all the praise since I never received enough for most of my life. I'm 42 and reclaiming my time. I got biceps now...I never had biceps before!! My mother tells me I'm fat every time I see her..in person or in video call.....I just ask her if she forgot to draw on her eyebrows today? Lol! I'm also the only person who she can call to lift the kitchen table when she mops....my thinner sibling hurt their shoulder and my mom has zero muscle and my Dad runs off every time she gives him a task. Lol! Nope I'm defending and protecting my Inner Child now. She didn't ask for any of this BS from people. If I lose the weight, I'm never going to go back to that "too thin" girl if I can help it because it wasn't healthy, I had injuries and nutrient deficiencies and low blood sugar due to not eating.
My mother....a Bajan..every time I see her in person or in video call...: ah..yuh fat! Me, letting her know about my badman bad mind Bumboclaat boundaries: you forget to put on your eyebrows this morning? you still want my fat to lift that heavy thing for you that nuhbody else wan do? Then I call it even. Match the energy...them would never say another word. My mother is old so she forgets and needs reminding.
People celebrate the reflection of self love in being healthy and not being underweight or overweight. I have been all three. Prolonged Typhoid made me severely underweight like 42kgs for about 6 years (got no positive comments ) and depression + stress made me emotional eat and I’m currently overweight-80kg,(no positive comments either)my average was 58kg for most of my life. My knees hurt and there’s nothing to celebrate about my weight. That doesn’t take away from who I am. I am self aware enough to love myself without embracing the fat or bony body.
Hugs...I'm 93 kg/ 205 lbs and 5 foot 6. Technically obese due to BMI. The gain was mainly due to taking medication for my neurodivergent brain until I finally managed to get therapy. Currently, I'm off the medication but I'm still going through withdrawals like insomnia and low appetite which can last up to 2 years. I'm only 9 months off and I was on it for 8 years. I celebrate my weight/body because it could have easily gone the other way and then I would have more problems from nutrient deficiencies and no muscle. I'm pretty strong because I do a manual job two days a week and I swim and cycle and walk about 10k steps a day or more....even with an injured knee and flat feet. I have zero obesity-related health conditions so my doctor is not chasing me down with weight-loss drugs and shakes. I'm 42 and I'm happy that my body made it this far because in all honesty there were a few times when I would not have been alive. After I found out I was autistic I decided that the first step is to stop masking and hiding myself away and making myself small ( in body or in mind or in presence) for other people! For the knee pain I recommend, seeing a physiotherapist and doing leg weights on the gym machines and stretches and massage rolling your quads and hamstrings. You got this. Go and see your doctor to check all your health markers not just how much you weight and what your dress size is. I'm like if I can swim 100 breaststrokes and do 100 squats without stopping they cannot tell me a thing about my weight. My mom is thin but she cannot walk or swim at all because she has no leg muscles. Her cousin is the same age and he weighs a lot more but he can do all of those things and he's not walking around with a 6 pack.
@@marleyhill34 Thanks for the encouragement! I’ve started walking 10steps daily now. Trying to reset the microbiomes in my gut because something is not right in how I process food 😅. You have an amazing story - acknowledging the mental aspect to weight is huge. I’ve literally started praying for strength and divine support for weight loss and my resolve has been stronger. I’m trying to break away from using food as an outlet for stress. Thanks again for your kind words and sharing your story
experienced this recently. my life changed some 2 years ago now. I was broke and forced to get more active. like walking until I got to the bus stop instead of taking an Uber. I also had a 9-5 at the time and was going out more, to work, to church, and to hang out with friends. Now I don't have a 9-5 and my life has shrunk to my house, I'm less active and I am eating more, lounging more. I'm packing on the weight. I am trying but it's not the same. My dad has been very vocal through it, praising the weight loss and complaining about the weight gain. I'm Nigerian... so you get how that is too. Sometimes I just want to tell him to stop policing my body. I roll my eyes and try to shrug it off, but it's hard. So yeah I totally get it.
The funniest thing is I am actually more in love with my body right now. I feel so comfortable in my skin. I used to hate being naked cos I hated seeing my body but now I don't care. I'm so in love with my body right now but we do need to get fit though. the stomach needs to reduce small
Being overweight my whole life i really don't like people. I get depressed and prefer to isolate myself. Because, the only thing i'm used to is being bullied. I'm trying to lose weight now, but i'm afraid that losing weight will cause me more human interaction, in which i dread. Especially since people hated me before. I just can't stand fake people.
I know some people dont do it with ill intent. However, i dont wanna talk to people about my body regardless of what state its in it feels like its something that isn't their business by default.
I appreciate You doing this video, for the simple fact that it is true. People do treat you differently when you gain weight or when you've lost weight, And sometimes it's hurtful, because you don't want people to say things about you based on a negative thought around how weight looks on you, even if it doesn't feel like it's negative to them. I recently got married, and i hadnt lost the weight i thought i could loss before the wedding, but looking at my wedding photos, i realized this was ME, the me that got engaged looking the way i looked, the me that went through a wedding season and got to marry their partner. While i wouldve loved to look alil more snatched or just alil more sexy in my dress, i also realized i was still a bride! My smile in photos is what my kids in the future will see, the way my partner looked at me is what my kids will see, and they wont think mommy was big or anything. I hope theyll think i look beautiful, but even that isnt necessary, as long as they see i was happy, thats what matters to me.
As a kid it never occured to me that my mother was fat. I just thought moms are supposed to be bigger... Now I'm grown up and I'm like who is this little woman ( she's lost weight and I'm taller than her now) and the sibling berates me for not saying our mother is not eating...I'm like "she's healthy the doctor is not freaking out." As long as she's happy and healthy that's all that matters to me now. Same for myself.
Imo I think people think smaller = healthier which naturally is more attractive to the human psyche (not saying this what I think but rather the psychology behind it). But I think many people also think smaller is "better" which is just NO. No human is better for their size. As someone that's very small I'm seen as not attractive to certain communities, its honest just a vicious cycle on both sides of the scale.
As someone who is middle-aged and recently diagnosed autistic...I no longer care if I'm attractive or better to other people's opinions....Nope reclaiming my time. I refuse to let anyone including myself bully my inner child anymore. All I care about is my health. Mental, Emotional, Physical, Sexual, Financial, Spiritual, My Home Environment. I spent many years masking and people-pleasing...to the detriment of my autistic brain....yeah I'm not doing that anymore. I've been thin ( in an unhealthy way as I was not eating) and I've been fat ( also unhealthy eating/emotional eating but also due to medication for my neurodivergent brain). All I want to be is healthy. You will never please all the people all of the time but you can please yourself about 90% of the time!!
My 10 year of daughter seen a commercial in plastic surgery. She said she wanted plastic surgery.... that hurt my heart. I've never called her fat and i now know i need to make sure my words are chosen carefully.
This is such a video that connects to ro me. I love what you've said about this. I am loosing weight currently because of my health and it makes me so sad. And I'm always so glad when i gain weight. I remember in 2016, i had gone through a death defying circumstance and lost so much weight that I looked like a skeleton. I cried a lot and my mum always had tears in her eyes when she looked at me. After a year, i gained so much weight that i was curvy. This was the first time that i had been curvy, i was so proud and happy so i wore something that showed my figure and body. I felt confident but people hadn't seen me in a whole and a very insensitive man said, hey...we haven't seen you in a while but ahh you look fat oh, maybe you should reduce. I was so shocked because nobody had ever commented that viciously on my body before. I still remember it 7 years later. I struggle a lot with weught fluctuations because of my health so i dont like people mentioning it because it reminds me that I'm not well. People should be kinder with their words even if they have no ill intent, it doesn't mean the person will know what your intents are since they can't read your mind
Similar situation for most of my life I spent all of my teens and early 20s with no curves and a bloated stomach...but hey I was thin....it wasn't the good thin. Now I'm fat ( mostly due to medication), I'm happier and healthier! I remind myself to eat now because losing bone density and muscle before during and after menopause will give you all kinds of pain!! I think when I was that thin it was like me abusing my body by saying that food didn't matter. I discovered that I'm neurodivergent now which might be a cause of why I struggled with food. The medication and circumstances surrounding my mental health made me comfort eat and increase my appetite. I've had therapy and I'm learning to ignore the BS that comes out of people's mouths. They don't know any better. I learnt that in therapy. I have a friend from high secondary school and anytime someone insulted her she would insult them right back....I think she had the right idea. That's how I'm approaching my life now in my 40s, especially after my autism diagnosis. I'm usually agreeable but please do not take my kind quiet mind my own business stance for weakness.
If we’re being brutally honest with ourselves, when you lose weight in a healthy way, you feel better. Maybe you get more compliments because your aura is ACTUALLY different. You look happier and healthier, more confident. I feel like the self love gospel has been over flogged. Yes, love yourself but if you know you can do better then do it, it doesn’t mean you don’t love yourself the way you are. Infact you love yourself enough to change something, that’s another level of self love but it’s unpopular. When you’re obese or fat, you’re sluggish, cortisol is high, stress is stored in your body, you’re no confident because you think everyone is looking at you or talking to you weird because you’re fat. It’s not great. If we’re being real.
Also, part of the weight loss journey involves other people actually noticing😂 You know you’re doing something right when people, and not only our mirrors, tell us we’ve lost weight. It’s a dopamine booster. So it’s defo hurtful when it’s the other way around. People need to mind their business true, but you better notice when I’m working my ass off in the gym😂
How can I like this comment more than once? 😊 You literally nailed it! People lack accountability and like to be babied to the point of their own detriment. I can’t stand it!
Been fat literally my whole life and this is very true. Being a fat woman is almost like a death sentence, you don't get far in any parts of your life. You literally have to fight for good opportunities (career, business, friendships, relationships, etc).
I so love you! So glad the Kingdom has you! This topic! People do not get how this is so unnecessary! The difference in how they change how they treat you cause you are smaller is a prayer item I tell you! Especially the uncles and aunties!
Regardless of what anyone thinks, you are the one who has to live inside your body. Skinny or fat, you either chose to live in a healthy place or a toxic place. Obviously we should all strive for healthy. That’s how I’ve always viewed body image, but it’s never my business to inquire or address the state of someone’s else’s body
Thank you for this video. It’s so important that people are mindful of what they say to people when it comes to weight because it’s such a sensitive topic. I know for me. I’ve been on my weight-loss journey/fitness journey for the past seven years and the time that I lost my weight I definitely know that I got a lot more attention and compliments. I even gotten with my boyfriend when I was at my smallest three years later, I’m the heaviest I’ve been and I can definitely see the difference of how I’m treated because of my weight, but I’m learning and stop depending on what other people perceive me as and really focus on my self-esteem and my self-love because people gonna always say something when it comes to weight whether we like it or not.
Girl I'm over here in my Miserable Middle-aged Milennial era reclaiming my time to only please myself!! I just got diagnosed with autism at 42 and I'm done masking, making myself smaller ( physically and mentally) and people-pleasing. Two weeks ago my managers were complaining and threatened to cut my pay and fire me...I didn't even look them in the eye or miss a beat and said ok....send me the paperwork and continued doing what I was doing. Cause my brain is already like "So I can take it to the disability/labour/employment court/office/tribunal." I have zero chill now. That autism diagnosis let the chihuahua in my brain off the leash!!! lol! If someone calls me fat, i'ma bout to tell them about their receding hair. Lol! I'm moving with that TikTok Gen Z unapologetic energy. I used to be such a quiet polite person...it got me nowhere.
@@marleyhill34 I know that’s right! I’m happy for you and being unapologetically you because we literally only have one life to live and we can’t go around pleasing everybody to make them feel good while we are hiding who we are as please. Getting there slowly myself, but is definitely an eye-opener when you really start focusing on yourself.
Fat phobia is a thing. Many plus size influencers have spoken about it extensively. The comments that are under the post of plus size people is awful. Even worse if that person is displaying confidence, the most rinsed out comments is 'they're glorifying obesity'. If the plus size person has a partner, the comments are worse, because according to some in soceity, we shouldn't love or be loved. The fatphobic hate is toxic AF! Many of you do not see our struggles you see our bodies, make assumptions and then attack us. Its exhausting! As son as you lose a little weight watch how folks change towards you, they show you respect.
Body weight shamimg goes bpth ways. When you are skinny, you are the target boy looking jokes, when you are thick the society feels you are unhealthy. We as women as our worst enermy
In the south disparaging comments abt weight LOSS are common. “Bobble head” “are you eating” accusations of drug use etc. Most people are unhappy with their bodies and project. It isn’t just against larger bodies esp when 70% of American adults are overweight and obese.
This is 100% on point!!!! It's like you become less invisible and smarter when you lose weight. I am tired of it to be honest. Not everyone can be the desired weight.
The comments that I got about weight after I lost weight caused me to be afraid to eat and gain weight. And my weight loss was done due to stress. It's worse when you're told "but you still look good", that's not soemthing to celebrate...and it affected my relationship with exercise because doing that meant nothing. It took me a while to get back to the gym again, but now it's it be stronger. I reject any bad event that causes you to "look good" when you should FEEL good.
It’s so hard. I do definitely think African, Asian and Caribbean people are very direct. Before they say hello, they’re telling you about how fat you are lol. Personally, I want to be told. I’m a US 8/UK 12. During COVID I went up to a US 10/UK 14 and no one said anything . I didn’t even realise till I saw myself on camera and I was cussing. I had a go at my partner, because he said nothing. Then told off my sisters off for saying nothing. I sent my mother in law a picture and she was so excited. She called to ask if I was pregnant 😂😂😂😂😂 (she’s Jamaican by the way). Then when I went for my annual check as I do every year. At this weight I had a high cholesterol. Imagine I am 5/8 so I actually wasn’t over weight yet. However, being that size told my body you are incurring health issues and that scared me. I think people should be more concerned with the health risks/issues, than their size. As long as you are healthy, that’s what matters.
Thank you so much for this ❤ and also talking on how you bring it back to God in your own journey I find that so beautiful and often times it's the perspective hinted at but not always spoken of the way that you did, you are truly so beautiful Chizi I love and respect you so much, stay blessed and shining 💐
I'd like to share a bit of an opposing thought...I have always been slim since childhood, and I can remember the negative unsolicited comments about how skinny I was. I would get comments about not eating or starving myself when in fact I ate quite a lot. I would even get "friends" describing how skinny I was and how I looked weird because of it, and all I could think was how would they feel if I called them fat. Fast forward into adulthood, I got married and wanted to start working out to get stronger and a thicker and I had so many women comment on how I should wait till I have children because then I'm not going to get rid of the weight. Now with two children close in age, I have been able to get back to my regular weight. All in all, I believe things can be genetic and also stress based so people should not feel comfortable enough to comment on people's bodies. Look at Chadwick Boseman. So many people commented on his weight and didn't know he was actually dying...
I think if you look in the mirror and you don’t like what you see it shows on the outside regardless of what size you are so when there’s a shift in that comments start to come because you’re being seen in a different light. For those who are trying to lose weight/becoming healthier it tends to show in how you carry yourself. I think it has more to do with confidence then a number on the scale
As a person that’s grown up in the entertainment industry, I know first hand how people treat people based on their body size. Especially if the person is in some public light. I absolutely H A T E IT! Because of my experience in all of this, I hold back from doing so many things. I could be a completely different person and have a completely different life if I could just move past what I know people are thinking and feeling about me. Personally, I don’t want anyone to “compliment “ me on anything has to with my physical appearance. I’m currently avoiding all of my friends, all of my African people, and the majority of my American family. Because I don’t want to deal with any comments about my physical appearance (or my life to be honest. ). I’m missing out on so much because people won’t STFU. AND I can’t seem to get my life together, and a physical sense. SMH
And another thing! LOL It irks me for people to see you’ve gained weight and they think it’s their job to constantly give you weight loss advice or mention a workout or meal plan or supplements. I know it’s coming from a place of love. But be quiet or just be mindful! If I don’t come to you for help, I don’t want it! If I don’t mention my body, you don’t need to mention my body. If I don’t speak to you directly about my journey, then keeps your words and links to yourself. I COULD GO ON BUT ILL STOP IT HERE.
I understand how sensitive this issue is with changes to our bodies, and I saw one of my friends have a melt down just 2 days ago when someone told her she ‘looked pregnant’. The person didn’t mean it from a bad place but I know we Nigerians can be over expressive /too blunt with our comments. I have learnt to hold my tongue about people’s weight just as I am also struggling to drop some pounds myself and I know how much it hurts when someone tells me to watch my weight. But it is actually the bitter truth I know myself but would rather not want anyone to say to my face. At the end of the day, it may all come down to how we communicate it especially if unknown to the other person that it is related to health issues. Looking away about someone’s weight changes may just interpret as ‘not caring’ when they likely would have sought medical attention if someone had said something earlier.
This is so true. Even when people show their weight loss journey, they mostly show the weight loss on their tummies. It's all focused on body size rather than health. SMH.
I remember when a friend of mine lost weight and I didn’t say anything. Then she talked about her weight lost and I said “I thought you lost weight” and she was like well why didn’t you say something. So I think people really appreciate those compliments! I know when I drop some pounds I like it.
Yes, that was your friend. Your friend would’ve appreciated it which you now know. I wouldn’t use that as a general blanket for every single person, especially as your relationship with each person varies ❤
I wouldn’t use your friend’s experience as a blanket statement. And a response to her would be what the video inferred which is you never know what someone is going through health or life wise unless they tell you, but now that she let you know, you know now.
I see what you both are saying. I guess the majority when I speak up about it it is only to people that I consider friends. I do another instance though a girl on my volleyball team. She had graduated and was about to get married and lost a ton of weight and I told her she looks fabulous and she wasn’t excited at all! So that’s always in back of my mind too.
so true but it goes the same way when you skinny and gain a little, you get all these praises.. But all of this start at home, we always have parents or aunties even uncles who would poke on your weight, especially for the african family.. you too skinny, you too big, are you going to finish that? 😭😭😭
I’ve always been a bigger girl and once I’ve lost over 100 pounds people really start treating me nicer or now I’m a B because I act the same but in their eyes I’m stuck up now. I’m enjoying my new size but at the same time I’m so uncomfortable and self conscious about how I look because I feel like everyone is judging me. It’s weird because I didn’t feel this way when I was heavier. I even had a good friend say I used to be a fatty Mcfat so and I’m like damn that’s how you used to think of me
This needs to be reiterated. I hadn't announced my pregnancy, and was loosing weight due to nausea. My baby was healthy & fine for my whole pregnancy. My doctors were fine. My body was healthy/fine. Spectators were not. They talk too much
I actually started binge eating after a very terrible breakup and that caused me to gain a lot of weight. There is a significant difference because i used to be very skinny and the first thing people notice is my weight now i dont really care but our bodies are very much scrutinized by society because it's the first thing that meets the eye!
Just by the title alone, I had to battle my mind in the outfit I wanted to wear. My thoughts were "well my back isn't unbigged yet" I kept changing. 😭 And realized I got some internal work to do because I should not be criticizing my body this much when all it does is works to keep me healthy & therefore deserves love... sheesh.
Well, I'm a Nigerian and im like 55kg, im pretty skinny but not underweight but people call me panla meaning dried fish or a pencil even while I walk minding my business and chubbier ladies treat thinner ones like small kids I think it also depends on where you live and their idea of healthy as far as you are not malnourished or over over weight
Hugs....we need to get out of that mindset..they say the same to thin people in the Caribbean..."shape like a pencil or a stick" It's rude. As long as the personal is healthy we need to Mind our own business.
I think we're over thinking this and being too sensitive. Im speaking as someone who has gone from 300lb to 200lb. Being overweight is unhealthy. People complimenting you on being healthier is a good thing. Its people being polite with good intentions so take the compliment and carry on!
I have definitely experienced this, it is certainly a thing. While I don’t think we should make unsolicited comments about people’s weight specifically, I don’t take offense to people treating me differently because of my weight loss. Because most importantly, I started treating myself differently! I am far more invested in caring for my health than ever before, and I am taking so much better care of myself. The weight is only a part of the story, so it’s only natural others will treat you based on how you treat yourself. If you’re abusing your body with a bad diet, hygiene, lack of care, then you show up in the world differently compared to when you’re doing the opposite. So I don’t get mad at people around me who changed because I changed too!
Everything you have said is so true but I guess subscribers and followers figure that you have put on the social media so you have to expect anything that is being said about it. Social media to an extent has caused individuals to think that they can comment on things without being thoughtful about the repercussions of these comments.
I think people comment on weight loss because weight loss it is perceived as success in being disciplined in habits or goals, such as increasing physical activity or maintaining a healthy diet. Weight loss isn't always attributed to these factors and that's where issues with comments can be a sensitive issue. As for weight gain, in most cases, people would rather not hear it. I lose. I gain. Don't care too much about other people's opinions about my body. I love me some me. BUT I understand that others may get offended, so I don't offer unsolicited comments.
Black ppl in general comment on people weight especially old Black ppl. I never forget when my dad said something about my weight when he was small as a toothpick cause he was sick
My parents are in their 70s...they already know that if they comment negatively on me I'm going to comment negatively back on them. I'ma match their energy and see how they like it. I'm fat and you are wrinkly...i think we are even. Lol!
Yes, l have when l was heavier, there was no comments, but when l went plant base, l lost a lots of weight. Which for me it is great, but they do, which is not right
What is wrong with getting compliments after losing weight. What if you do look more attractive, healthier, more approachable?? Being fat is unhealthy, some people are overweight and they are still pretty so they get compliments. But aside from that small percentage …. majority of the time being overweight conceals beautiful people because their beauty is covered by fat and unnecessarily so due to genetics, unhealthy eating, etc. It’s just the truth.
@@Ashleyunfiltered Hi there. I get your point but it’s still wrong. What’s wrong is treating people differently and positively only when they are smaller and you have no positive comments if a person looks nice who is bigger and healthy. Their health, unless you are their doctor, parent or spouse is none of your business and if you feel a person must be thin to hear positive comments from you then you do not deserve to say anything to them, period! The inverse is also true, some people do not like being thin and the reasons behind their weight loss could be stress or sickness! People need to stop feeling like they are entitled to opinions about people’s bodies, no matter your intention. It is insensitive and rude.
If someone is TRYING to doing something and they are successful, I acknowledge them and congratulate them…no hate….no shade….just positive vibes and encouragement. I personally appreciate when people acknowledge my weight loss and efforts. ❤ #100Down
Thank you. When people comment I just say, oh have I? I had no idea. Ive been more focused on building healthy relationships with myself and others and growing my career. :D
I'm in my me era. Self-re-parenting. ( i just found out I;m autistic), getting my body strong ( regardless of weight) and coming off psychotropic drugs and planning for my retirement. I do not have time for other people that much but especially if they are going to disturb my peace and say BS. Neurodivergent brains are like a BS detector...lol! as soon as there is some BS we get triggered.
I dropped 7kg in a few days as a result of stress and PTSD; everyone was saying how great I look. It made me even more stressed, to the point where I lost my appetite. I've only recently started eating properly again and it's be a year. My opinion is do not comment on people's weight unless you know what the person's trying to gain/lose weight.
Assuming someone made positive lifestyle changes just because they lost weight is part of the issue, it implies someone made bad decisions because they gained weight. Everyone should just stop commenting on people's bodies
I agree. However I think the issue is people not complementing anything positive about you verses all the complements. I think habits are more important. You can be overweight and still more active and eat more balanced than someone smaller than you but the compliments won't be rolling in the same way.
My mother in law every time she sees me makes it a point to saw “you look like you e lost weight” and I look at her like you and me both know how fat I’ve gotten… but then she’ll say to her son (you’ve been working out? … then compliments his arms or back or whatever body part it looks like he’s been working out?
Oh you aren’t trying to bang or chase down a fat person for sexual intrest People want validation physically for their soul No physically if skinny is beautiful mostly if you’re not that or far from that that’s what ppl see !!! Do desire desirability when your are doing the work to be attractive we know how it is!
I'm not concerned unless they tell me that they are unhealthy and they need to lose or gain weight. I have very thin family members and very big family members and they are all still healthy. strangers? it's none of my business.
You look great, no lie, no lie. I think at the end of the day, it's about you. Of course, you cannot rule out what people will say about you. People always have opinions, but what I do is shut them out. It hurts, but I shut it out because what do you expect me to do? And for me, it's not about the weight gain, it's the body shape, to be honest. I didn't have much of NYAASHHHHH for days, but everyone wants that. What do you expect me to do, get a BBL? So, I get it, I resonate so much with this, and it's frustrating. But what I am doing now is working on myself. I have PCOS, and some of you know what that comes with. PCOS and stress don't mix, and that's how I gain weight and have my apple shape. But I have learned to cool down and work slowly because those people's words then increase my stress, which leads to weight gain. So, I'm not having that. In conclusion, @Chizi, you are beautiful. I've followed you for years since 2014, and of course, we all grow up, but you have maintained your standard and you look great. Continue with the great work you are doing. Let no one TALK TO YOU ANY HOW.
I went from 200 to 150 trust me you are treated differently....when your face starts getting small people start asking what have you been doing to lose weight
Honestly I feel like as individuals we should focus on ourselves and what is good for us. Even as we know and believe that we are wonderfully and fearfully made we should understand that this body we were given is also important and God expects us to take care of it. Our body positivity and size confidence should be based off of healthy choices, genuinely taking care of our bodies and making sure our bodies are healthy and we are not prone to illnesses that are encouraged by excessive fat or cholesterol... We will only be able to fulfill all of God's purpose if our bodies were healthy enough to keep us going... As long as your size is healthy and natural and you're good... But really, a person's body is none of your concern, you do not have to comment if you're not close to them and have a basis for doing that... It is plain insensitive, especially when you're making negative comments, and now I'm just understanding that even the comment you think is a compliment can be out of place for that person. Just mind your business and focus on yourself and the people that matter to you. God help us all.
Hey guys! Wanted to chat and talk about this topic that’s been on my heart for a bit. I know this can be a sensitive topic so if it’s triggering in any way, my apologies. Also please watch the entire video, I bring up several points and different perspectives that we can discuss ❤❤
I definitely agree on not commenting on people’s physical
It’s DEFINITELY a thing. I’ve lost 15lbs and even with that amount people treat me different and the types of comments I get are different.
Yo 15 pounds makes a difference! lol
True! I lost 15 lbs and notice the difference in treatment already. People are more approachable and friendly
Yep I'm planning to lose some weight and I know right away I'll be treated differently. It's happened before. I know how it feels to be a very thin person well into my 20's and thr good treatment is unmatched. I'm doing it to be healthy but I also know to get back out dating it's super helpful. Also if you want to change careers and get a new job it's helpful to be smaller. It's crazy but this is life and I actually feel better smaller.
People have to understand this is biological. The slimmer and more symmetrical we are the more attractive we are.
People who comment on how we got big, like we dont know we are big😂.
People who lose the weight I always say you were fine then and fine noe 🙏🏾
I appreciate your comment. Bless you!🫶🏾
@@justsassyenough2515 youre welcome,but why is that?
When people comment on your weight, ask them “do you have a problem with my weight” or “are you tracking my weight?”. Don’t take that ish in or keep it, send it back to sender immediately.
This sounds like you are triggered though. Most people are just stating an observation especially if you haven’t seen the person in a while. And depending on the person they may be considerate of your feelings or double down and really “joke” about it. Because if they were really a friend they’d already know your weight is a sensitive topic.
@@ValentinoQ Friend or not, people have no business commenting on people's weight. You never know what people are going through. Just because you have friends doesn't mean that you're open to them about your insecurities or self-esteem issues. We all have eyes and everybody notices other people's weight. I just don't go out of my way to comment on other people's weight, I ain't a Weight Watchers coach lol. Even if I had the perfect body, I wouldn't want people to track my weight, that's weird af.
Chill! Sometimes just say thank you and keep it pushing, jeeze
This video came almost like a miracle. We all need to remind ourselves even as adults that our worth is not determined by our body size or shape or weight. We are deserving of Love. We are made perfectly in Gods image.
Thank you Chizi for this post!
❤❤❤
As long as we are healthy that's all that matters. Like seriously my doctor is not chasing me down with weight loss shakes because I weight too much or protein shakes because I weigh too little. I can lift more and walk more and swim and cycle more than some people younger and thinner than me. Can we please look at other markers of health instead of people's dress size or weight?
On the flip side, we need to be more sensitive to people who are naturally skinny. Their size, just like bigger people, seems to ALWAYS comes up in a conversation. And it can be an insecurity of theirs. Even for men!
true!
I was about to leave a comment about this. There are friends and women who have taken it upon themselves to remind me that I need to eat. I think women just like picking on people to make themselves feel better about their size
Please don’t. I have a smaller frame and I’m muscular, but at 163 I don’t feel I’m skinny, a lot of black women love to say that I’m skinny, all of them are obese. If I were to point that out they’d probably be heated
One reason is people equate being fat to not being disciplined.
I am with you. I have joined the gym and the favouritism that I've seen from TRAINERS towards thinner people over bigger people is disgusting. They will literally avoid bigger people not know what to say and treat them only as someone to lose weight not a whole person and can be quite patronising in their approach from what ive observed. This applies to not only me but in my general scanning of my environment. I feel like they need better more relevant training on how to interact with people of all sizes and abilities because society has changed. There ARE MORE people in bigger bodies than previous times. You can't apply the same way of treating people as then because the discrimination will become more obvious.
That's terrible...look for a gym that is more inclusive. My local gym and swimming pool has Elderly, fat, thin, teenagers, kids, middle age, people with physical and mental disabilities and injuries. They run group sessions for all abilities! Also I'm not sure how long you have gone to the gym.....sometimes the "thinner" people have been going there longer and more regular so that's why the trainers are friendly to them because they know them more. When I go during a quiet period at my gym and ask for help, they always help me...I'm 205lbs/93 kg with a bad knee wrapped up. Please ask for help..I work with the public in a supermarket and I don't always approach new people because people often want to do things themselves to maintain their independence. When I go shopping I don't want to be approached. Lol! But I have autism my default is to avoid people...but I've had to learn to ask for help. Most decent people will help you if you are struggling and you ask for help. Maybe it's just my gym because I know that and have seen them train people of all abilities and there is no Instagram models in there posing with cameras. Lol! if anything make them do their job as it pertains to you and call the manager. Lol!
@marleyhill34 it is a community gym there ARE people of all ages races sizes and abilities there and also that work there. It is probably labelled as inclusive because of that. however it doesn't mean that people that work there anf others still don't have their prejudices. I'm not ignorant to that. How would you challenge something like this which isn't overtly offensive but you notice it. Being bigger losing and gaining weight over the years I have an eye for these things and that is even me taking myself out of it and just 'people watching'. Some may call it projecting but I don't think this is. We all know society is fatphobic in and it can manifest in subtle behaviours and this can include the 'inclusive' gym too. Personally I ignore it because it doesn't affect my workout however I'd be lying if I said I didn't notice these things.
As a stoic I never complement anyone except on things I’m 100% certain about like lipstick color an outfit or hair and that’s only if I know the person is just dying for a compliment and frequently asks for them. Everything else, I keep quiet. I don’t care how big your belly is…if you don’t tell me you’re pregnant I’ll talk about the weather.
Hi Chizi,
Whilst I completely understand where you are coming from, I think it can be more complex than this.
Now, the main point I wanted to make is that when you’re on a “healthy” weight loss journey, you’re probably more active and eating much better.. this lifestyle change will show in your skin, your hair, and that may be why people mention a “glow”. Not necessarily because you’re slimmer but just because you’re glowing as a result of living a better lifestyle.
Personally, I’ve seen people comment on weight loss in both a positive and negative way, even from Nigerian aunties and uncles :)… ah ah, aren’t you eating? You’re losing too much weight, you’re too skinny.
When people lose weight due to sickness or stress it may actually be very evident (I.e sunken face, a lot less muscle etc) and prompt loved ones to ask if everything is ok.
I agree that people should generally be very mindful about commenting on people’s weight but I do think there is a place for it in the right context (either to appreciate positive changes or express concern to a loved one).
💯
Nailed it!
Exactly my point in my comment. I still joked with one of my closest friends earlier today about how she needs to eat more and reduce her NSPPD late night prayers/fasting😁If something was wrong, that would have been an avenue for her to share with me rather than me look away and act unbothered at how much weight she’s lost.
I compliment about weight ONLY with friends and family when I know they have been working hard to lose weight or gain weight; other than that, I have no comments about other people's weight.
When I gained weight I was absolutely shocked at the unsolicited negative comments on my body... absolutely unreal. They don't even realise how damaging that is.
Yo, I lost 129lb!!!!! And the difference in the attention I am getting now is scary!!! I did get surgery and I was 304lbs on surgery day and 324lb at my heaviest. People (especially guys) who used to bodyshame me are now like "I always had a crush on you, I just didn't know how to tell you" like boy! Stop lying !!!! People be acting like they would have treated me the same if they knew me when i was 324lbs. In 90% of the case it's not true
They could have but didn’t want to be seen with a big girl 🙄
While I was gaining weight, my mother was losing weight. My mother has always been my biggest critic (and my first bully), she didn't hesitate to brag about how much smaller her body was compared to mine. She didn't hesitate to call me a "blimp", how my breasts looked, how my stomach looked. It wasn't until I found out I have Hypothyroidism and my mother found out she has colon cancer (and that was the reason for her rapid weight loss) that her venom towards me stopped. I've been skinny and got made fun of. I've had friends who were plus size girls and got made fun of.
Though I'm not as skinny as I used to be, I'm on a journey of loving myself the way I am now. Learning to live with my diagnosis because I'll be on thyroid medicine for the rest of my life and keeping a good bill of health with each doctor visit.
I've never been in the business of making other peoples bodies my business.
Wow, that was a wild turn of events. I hope you are doing well with your health journey.
@@moniquew3603 Thank you, I appreciate you saying that. I take it day by day and I wish all the best to you as well!
Phew girl!!!
one thing that I always come back to is that we seem to always look back on old pictures like “oh I used to think I was so fat, I wish I looked like that now.” so I very well could have, in this moment, the body that I will be wishing and hoping for in a couple years lol. so I’ve just accepted like you said, today is my reality and I’m going to love on this body that’s serving me today. and interestingly, developing that genuine appreciation of my body is what has led me and motivates me to care for it. the mind is a powerful thing!
I wish that was the case. I looked back at a few photos in my early 20s and I know I was too thin. When I get really stressed I do not eat. in fact now I'm relieved to be fat ( from neurodivergent medication) because I'm currently going through a stressful period and I know my body has fat to burn so I'm not as weak as I could be. I used to feel faint and have low blood sugar when I was thinner...it was very bad..in addition to nutrient deficiencies. My body is stronger now and has more muscle and more nutrients and I don't care what anyone says I'm enjoying these fat body DD cups before it's time for me to go back to my thin body A cup. Lol!
I read this book called “Your Good Body” and that scripture of “you’re wonderfully and fearfully made” shook me because it’s so true! When I truly think of how I want people to view me , it’s not by my looks but by my internal , morals and positively how I made em’ feel . Body fat will come and go and such a surface level convo’ unless it’s a concerning health issue
I hate when people switch up after weight changes. Also, I feel like social media recently has been getting more and more toxic!😓
I think healthy weight loss is a sign of good health physically and mentally. It shows discipline, I’m sorry but no one feels good when they look constantly bloated and fat, it looks uncomfortable
Yes, I wish we could be honest about this. Being fat is not healthy. Why can’t we just accept this basic truth? 😢
I think the point is we are all humans and have different stages in life. Not everyone at every stage is mentally strong to imbibe discipline. I think offering grace while also educating people on healthy weight loss is good. Like you said no one feels good when you’re bloated and fat.
Yea but emphasis on healthy. And we don’t really know if someone is going through healthy weight loss unless THEY tell us. Just one of many reasons why commenting on other people’s bodies unwarranted doesn’t really contribute to healthy weight loss
I don't comment on people's weight unless forced to, but being smaller is better for health. It is absolutely true. People do treat you better, but it's also you because your energy is different when you are smaller. I went from 215, to 170 and now to 145. I'm happy at this weight . Strangers are more likely to smile and engage. It's true.
I 100% agree.
Whew sis this was very much needed. I was verbally abused & bullied as a child due to my weight. I am still dealing with the aftermath. Thanks so much 🤗
@AnaJots for me it’s similar but in the opposite way. Getting more male attention kinda concerns me. Not all men are bad but there are some characters out there.
I was literally holding my phone when the notification came through. I said, "Hold on, did that say Chizi". Now let me go watch and like the video. Lol
I literally just did the same thing!😂
I agree totally I gained weight dealing with trauma of loss and grief and a supposed friend asked me during funeral arrangements if I have been eating potatoes errday😅 being slim most of my life il never forget how I felt n will continue being very kind to anyone not looking their best because their is always a reason...no one wants to look bad ever!😊 let's try n be kind
Love this video great finally talking about this weight issue that we all might have I have cancer had 11 blood transfusion lost alot of weight doing better cancer hasn't spread. Thank you your a beautiful woman .
Congratulations on doing better. My weight loss and weight gain are linked to my neurodivergent brain. I only found out that I was autistic this year. It explains everything. I refuse to beat myself up over my too small or too big size every again.
Glad you are talking about this topic. I’ve been on a weight yo-yo for 3 years due to thyroid issue. Latest weight is the heaviest I’ve ever been in so I have been hiding from social media- no vacation or birthday pics which I’ve always loved to share. I don’t want to be judged- I feel like I’m my worst critic and don’t want anyone to pile on. I’m going to continue to protect myself heart and keep my pictures off the internet- for now.😢
I’m sorry you feel that way 😢 I would encourage you to work through the internal thoughts and feelings and still take pictures for your own memories at least. Time is precious and you are deserving of documenting every part of your life ❤
I feel you, I'm in the same situation. There is nothing wrong with not sharing pictures of yourself. As long as you enjoy the moment. Stay save and best wishes
Same here. Weight loss is hard especially when you have a medical condition. Rooting for you, Hun!!!
Hugs....I gained a lot of weight due to medication to manage my neurodivergent brain. I really enjoyed my fat body because before I was the "too thin girl". All I care about now is that I'm healthy ACCORDING TO MY DOCTORS and happy. If that means I don't fit everyone's ideal body weight, they can go and kick rocks. Nah I'm 42 and I'm re-claim-ing my time!!! My parents already know if they comment on my weight, I will comment back on theirs. Lol! I've decided that if people make me uncomfortable unnecessarily, I will be making them uncomfortable too so they realise their mistake!! Works with my young male managers....
Them: Why is work taking you so long?
Me: Because I'm on my period and I'm being stabbed in my back, tummy, thighs, bum and vagina even though I took the maximum amount of painkillers allowed. Would you like me to overdose on painkillers?
they usually leave me alone for the rest of the day. Lol! My Miserable Middle-aged Millennial brain has no chill. Play with my fat ars£ at your own peril. Just wait till we start hitting the menopause....they will see what it's like for your body to fall off.
@yosig Sorry to hear this has knocked your confidence and I relate to the weight gain, I would advise just try to be active and eat whole non processed foods and please be kind to yourself and give grace. Life is short and you deserve happiness no matter what size you are. I had a thyroid issue and through changing my diet, I have helped manage my symptoms and so far dropped 30lbs. Please read medical medium book on thyroid healing as it may help you. All the best.
I personally don’t make comments to people about their weight. As you said, you don’t know what the reason is for the person’s body change.🤷🏽♀️
Yes it's a thing I became very sick and gained a lot of weight the thing that hurt the most was family members I worked through all the ugly and now I'm happy still over weight but happy
❤❤❤ happy you worked through it! Enjoy your life boo!
When I'm going through things I learn to isolate myself from unhelpful and unsupportive people regardless of whether them being family or friends. A lot of us gain weight due to sickness and that is not our fault for getting sick.
I don't treat myself the same since I've gained weight! Even though I wouldn't think of treating a friend differently. I can't imagine telling someone that they look fat 😮, the rudeness is too much for me! Why go out of your way to be deliberately hurtful?
I don't treat myself the same either. I'm feeling and looking at my rolls and my fat boobs and fat arse and my giant thighs and saying " girl you are sex on legs.!!" Lol! Yeah I was the "too thin" girl with no boobs growing up. I'm actually a nudist as part of my whole self-acceptance journey and I can tell you everyone be looking at my fat shape in approval!! Nope I'm giving myself all the praise since I never received enough for most of my life. I'm 42 and reclaiming my time. I got biceps now...I never had biceps before!! My mother tells me I'm fat every time I see her..in person or in video call.....I just ask her if she forgot to draw on her eyebrows today? Lol! I'm also the only person who she can call to lift the kitchen table when she mops....my thinner sibling hurt their shoulder and my mom has zero muscle and my Dad runs off every time she gives him a task. Lol! Nope I'm defending and protecting my Inner Child now. She didn't ask for any of this BS from people. If I lose the weight, I'm never going to go back to that "too thin" girl if I can help it because it wasn't healthy, I had injuries and nutrient deficiencies and low blood sugar due to not eating.
Unfortunately in my experience as a Caribbean person 🇯🇲. Weight is always gonna be a topic for unsolicited comments
Don't our people talk bad about you if you loose too much weight. Idk about you but when I was small them chat bowt yuh like daag if yuh too mauga.
My mother....a Bajan..every time I see her in person or in video call...: ah..yuh fat! Me, letting her know about my badman bad mind Bumboclaat boundaries: you forget to put on your eyebrows this morning? you still want my fat to lift that heavy thing for you that nuhbody else wan do? Then I call it even. Match the energy...them would never say another word. My mother is old so she forgets and needs reminding.
I often tell people that I don't need to watch my weight, because everybody else does it for me.
In Trinidad and Tobago they would literally tell you "where you going with all that weight?" Lol
Man St.Lucia is the same ….so frustrating
People celebrate the reflection of self love in being healthy and not being underweight or overweight. I have been all three. Prolonged Typhoid made me severely underweight like 42kgs for about 6 years (got no positive comments ) and depression + stress made me emotional eat and I’m currently overweight-80kg,(no positive comments either)my average was 58kg for most of my life. My knees hurt and there’s nothing to celebrate about my weight. That doesn’t take away from who I am. I am self aware enough to love myself without embracing the fat or bony body.
Hugs...I'm 93 kg/ 205 lbs and 5 foot 6. Technically obese due to BMI. The gain was mainly due to taking medication for my neurodivergent brain until I finally managed to get therapy. Currently, I'm off the medication but I'm still going through withdrawals like insomnia and low appetite which can last up to 2 years. I'm only 9 months off and I was on it for 8 years. I celebrate my weight/body because it could have easily gone the other way and then I would have more problems from nutrient deficiencies and no muscle. I'm pretty strong because I do a manual job two days a week and I swim and cycle and walk about 10k steps a day or more....even with an injured knee and flat feet. I have zero obesity-related health conditions so my doctor is not chasing me down with weight-loss drugs and shakes.
I'm 42 and I'm happy that my body made it this far because in all honesty there were a few times when I would not have been alive. After I found out I was autistic I decided that the first step is to stop masking and hiding myself away and making myself small ( in body or in mind or in presence) for other people!
For the knee pain I recommend, seeing a physiotherapist and doing leg weights on the gym machines and stretches and massage rolling your quads and hamstrings. You got this. Go and see your doctor to check all your health markers not just how much you weight and what your dress size is.
I'm like if I can swim 100 breaststrokes and do 100 squats without stopping they cannot tell me a thing about my weight. My mom is thin but she cannot walk or swim at all because she has no leg muscles. Her cousin is the same age and he weighs a lot more but he can do all of those things and he's not walking around with a 6 pack.
@@marleyhill34 Thanks for the encouragement! I’ve started walking 10steps daily now. Trying to reset the microbiomes in my gut because something is not right in how I process food 😅. You have an amazing story - acknowledging the mental aspect to weight is huge. I’ve literally started praying for strength and divine support for weight loss and my resolve has been stronger. I’m trying to break away from using food as an outlet for stress. Thanks again for your kind words and sharing your story
experienced this recently. my life changed some 2 years ago now. I was broke and forced to get more active. like walking until I got to the bus stop instead of taking an Uber. I also had a 9-5 at the time and was going out more, to work, to church, and to hang out with friends. Now I don't have a 9-5 and my life has shrunk to my house, I'm less active and I am eating more, lounging more. I'm packing on the weight. I am trying but it's not the same. My dad has been very vocal through it, praising the weight loss and complaining about the weight gain. I'm Nigerian... so you get how that is too. Sometimes I just want to tell him to stop policing my body. I roll my eyes and try to shrug it off, but it's hard. So yeah I totally get it.
The funniest thing is I am actually more in love with my body right now. I feel so comfortable in my skin. I used to hate being naked cos I hated seeing my body but now I don't care. I'm so in love with my body right now but we do need to get fit though. the stomach needs to reduce small
On UA-cam there are at home fitness workouts you can do twice a day
Being overweight my whole life i really don't like people. I get depressed and prefer to isolate myself. Because, the only thing i'm used to is being bullied.
I'm trying to lose weight now, but i'm afraid that losing weight will cause me more human interaction, in which i dread. Especially since people hated me before. I just can't stand fake people.
I know some people dont do it with ill intent. However, i dont wanna talk to people about my body regardless of what state its in it feels like its something that isn't their business by default.
I appreciate You doing this video, for the simple fact that it is true. People do treat you differently when you gain weight or when you've lost weight, And sometimes it's hurtful, because you don't want people to say things about you based on a negative thought around how weight looks on you, even if it doesn't feel like it's negative to them. I recently got married, and i hadnt lost the weight i thought i could loss before the wedding, but looking at my wedding photos, i realized this was ME, the me that got engaged looking the way i looked, the me that went through a wedding season and got to marry their partner. While i wouldve loved to look alil more snatched or just alil more sexy in my dress, i also realized i was still a bride! My smile in photos is what my kids in the future will see, the way my partner looked at me is what my kids will see, and they wont think mommy was big or anything. I hope theyll think i look beautiful, but even that isnt necessary, as long as they see i was happy, thats what matters to me.
As a kid it never occured to me that my mother was fat. I just thought moms are supposed to be bigger... Now I'm grown up and I'm like who is this little woman ( she's lost weight and I'm taller than her now) and the sibling berates me for not saying our mother is not eating...I'm like "she's healthy the doctor is not freaking out." As long as she's happy and healthy that's all that matters to me now. Same for myself.
Imo I think people think smaller = healthier which naturally is more attractive to the human psyche (not saying this what I think but rather the psychology behind it). But I think many people also think smaller is "better" which is just NO. No human is better for their size.
As someone that's very small I'm seen as not attractive to certain communities, its honest just a vicious cycle on both sides of the scale.
As someone who is middle-aged and recently diagnosed autistic...I no longer care if I'm attractive or better to other people's opinions....Nope reclaiming my time. I refuse to let anyone including myself bully my inner child anymore. All I care about is my health. Mental, Emotional, Physical, Sexual, Financial, Spiritual, My Home Environment. I spent many years masking and people-pleasing...to the detriment of my autistic brain....yeah I'm not doing that anymore. I've been thin ( in an unhealthy way as I was not eating) and I've been fat ( also unhealthy eating/emotional eating but also due to medication for my neurodivergent brain). All I want to be is healthy. You will never please all the people all of the time but you can please yourself about 90% of the time!!
My 10 year of daughter seen a commercial in plastic surgery. She said she wanted plastic surgery.... that hurt my heart. I've never called her fat and i now know i need to make sure my words are chosen carefully.
This is such a video that connects to ro me. I love what you've said about this. I am loosing weight currently because of my health and it makes me so sad. And I'm always so glad when i gain weight.
I remember in 2016, i had gone through a death defying circumstance and lost so much weight that I looked like a skeleton. I cried a lot and my mum always had tears in her eyes when she looked at me. After a year, i gained so much weight that i was curvy. This was the first time that i had been curvy, i was so proud and happy so i wore something that showed my figure and body. I felt confident but people hadn't seen me in a whole and a very insensitive man said, hey...we haven't seen you in a while but ahh you look fat oh, maybe you should reduce. I was so shocked because nobody had ever commented that viciously on my body before. I still remember it 7 years later.
I struggle a lot with weught fluctuations because of my health so i dont like people mentioning it because it reminds me that I'm not well. People should be kinder with their words even if they have no ill intent, it doesn't mean the person will know what your intents are since they can't read your mind
Similar situation for most of my life I spent all of my teens and early 20s with no curves and a bloated stomach...but hey I was thin....it wasn't the good thin. Now I'm fat ( mostly due to medication), I'm happier and healthier! I remind myself to eat now because losing bone density and muscle before during and after menopause will give you all kinds of pain!! I think when I was that thin it was like me abusing my body by saying that food didn't matter. I discovered that I'm neurodivergent now which might be a cause of why I struggled with food. The medication and circumstances surrounding my mental health made me comfort eat and increase my appetite. I've had therapy and I'm learning to ignore the BS that comes out of people's mouths. They don't know any better. I learnt that in therapy. I have a friend from high secondary school and anytime someone insulted her she would insult them right back....I think she had the right idea. That's how I'm approaching my life now in my 40s, especially after my autism diagnosis. I'm usually agreeable but please do not take my kind quiet mind my own business stance for weakness.
If we’re being brutally honest with ourselves, when you lose weight in a healthy way, you feel better. Maybe you get more compliments because your aura is ACTUALLY different. You look happier and healthier, more confident.
I feel like the self love gospel has been over flogged. Yes, love yourself but if you know you can do better then do it, it doesn’t mean you don’t love yourself the way you are. Infact you love yourself enough to change something, that’s another level of self love but it’s unpopular.
When you’re obese or fat, you’re sluggish, cortisol is high, stress is stored in your body, you’re no confident because you think everyone is looking at you or talking to you weird because you’re fat. It’s not great. If we’re being real.
At the end of the day, skinny or fat, your self worth should never be in how you look anyway. Take that to the Lord.
Also, part of the weight loss journey involves other people actually noticing😂
You know you’re doing something right when people, and not only our mirrors, tell us we’ve lost weight. It’s a dopamine booster.
So it’s defo hurtful when it’s the other way around.
People need to mind their business true, but you better notice when I’m working my ass off in the gym😂
How can I like this comment more than once? 😊 You literally nailed it! People lack accountability and like to be babied to the point of their own detriment. I can’t stand it!
My thoughts exactly. This is what we fail to understand sometimes.
Been fat literally my whole life and this is very true. Being a fat woman is almost like a death sentence, you don't get far in any parts of your life. You literally have to fight for good opportunities (career, business, friendships, relationships, etc).
I so love you! So glad the Kingdom has you!
This topic! People do not get how this is so unnecessary! The difference in how they change how they treat you cause you are smaller is a prayer item I tell you! Especially the uncles and aunties!
Regardless of what anyone thinks, you are the one who has to live inside your body. Skinny or fat, you either chose to live in a healthy place or a toxic place. Obviously we should all strive for healthy. That’s how I’ve always viewed body image, but it’s never my business to inquire or address the state of someone’s else’s body
Thank you for this video. It’s so important that people are mindful of what they say to people when it comes to weight because it’s such a sensitive topic. I know for me. I’ve been on my weight-loss journey/fitness journey for the past seven years and the time that I lost my weight I definitely know that I got a lot more attention and compliments. I even gotten with my boyfriend when I was at my smallest three years later, I’m the heaviest I’ve been and I can definitely see the difference of how I’m treated because of my weight, but I’m learning and stop depending on what other people perceive me as and really focus on my self-esteem and my self-love because people gonna always say something when it comes to weight whether we like it or not.
Girl I'm over here in my Miserable Middle-aged Milennial era reclaiming my time to only please myself!! I just got diagnosed with autism at 42 and I'm done masking, making myself smaller ( physically and mentally) and people-pleasing. Two weeks ago my managers were complaining and threatened to cut my pay and fire me...I didn't even look them in the eye or miss a beat and said ok....send me the paperwork and continued doing what I was doing. Cause my brain is already like "So I can take it to the disability/labour/employment court/office/tribunal." I have zero chill now. That autism diagnosis let the chihuahua in my brain off the leash!!! lol! If someone calls me fat, i'ma bout to tell them about their receding hair. Lol! I'm moving with that TikTok Gen Z unapologetic energy. I used to be such a quiet polite person...it got me nowhere.
@@marleyhill34 I know that’s right! I’m happy for you and being unapologetically you because we literally only have one life to live and we can’t go around pleasing everybody to make them feel good while we are hiding who we are as please. Getting there slowly myself, but is definitely an eye-opener when you really start focusing on yourself.
No one should comment on anyone's body or size . You just never know the situation
Fat phobia is a thing. Many plus size influencers have spoken about it extensively. The comments that are under the post of plus size people is awful. Even worse if that person is displaying confidence, the most rinsed out comments is 'they're glorifying obesity'. If the plus size person has a partner, the comments are worse, because according to some in soceity, we shouldn't love or be loved. The fatphobic hate is toxic AF! Many of you do not see our struggles you see our bodies, make assumptions and then attack us. Its exhausting! As son as you lose a little weight watch how folks change towards you, they show you respect.
Body weight shamimg goes bpth ways. When you are skinny, you are the target boy looking jokes, when you are thick the society feels you are unhealthy. We as women as our worst enermy
In the south disparaging comments abt weight LOSS are common. “Bobble head” “are you eating” accusations of drug use etc. Most people are unhappy with their bodies and project. It isn’t just against larger bodies esp when 70% of American adults are overweight and obese.
This is 100% on point!!!! It's like you become less invisible and smarter when you lose weight. I am tired of it to be honest. Not everyone can be the desired weight.
The comments that I got about weight after I lost weight caused me to be afraid to eat and gain weight. And my weight loss was done due to stress. It's worse when you're told "but you still look good", that's not soemthing to celebrate...and it affected my relationship with exercise because doing that meant nothing. It took me a while to get back to the gym again, but now it's it be stronger. I reject any bad event that causes you to "look good" when you should FEEL good.
It’s the OUT LOUD affirmations for me💯
Such a beautiful message + woman! Thank you for holding this space and the mindfulness ❤
This is so true, especially for someone whose weight yo yo's and it's a source of frustration for them.
It’s so hard. I do definitely think African, Asian and Caribbean people are very direct. Before they say hello, they’re telling you about how fat you are lol.
Personally, I want to be told. I’m a US 8/UK 12. During COVID I went up to a US 10/UK 14 and no one said anything . I didn’t even realise till I saw myself on camera and I was cussing. I had a go at my partner, because he said nothing. Then told off my sisters off for saying nothing. I sent my mother in law a picture and she was so excited. She called to ask if I was pregnant 😂😂😂😂😂 (she’s Jamaican by the way). Then when I went for my annual check as I do every year. At this weight I had a high cholesterol.
Imagine I am 5/8 so I actually wasn’t over weight yet. However, being that size told my body you are incurring health issues and that scared me. I think people should be more concerned with the health risks/issues, than their size. As long as you are healthy, that’s what matters.
I've been small my whole life and people pick on me for being "too skinny". It's really crazy because I'm also trying to add on some weight.
Not just your size how you look as well. When my skin is clear and glowing. Or my Hair is long I notice the difference in how people treat me
Thank you so much for this ❤ and also talking on how you bring it back to God in your own journey I find that so beautiful and often times it's the perspective hinted at but not always spoken of the way that you did, you are truly so beautiful Chizi I love and respect you so much, stay blessed and shining 💐
I'd like to share a bit of an opposing thought...I have always been slim since childhood, and I can remember the negative unsolicited comments about how skinny I was. I would get comments about not eating or starving myself when in fact I ate quite a lot. I would even get "friends" describing how skinny I was and how I looked weird because of it, and all I could think was how would they feel if I called them fat. Fast forward into adulthood, I got married and wanted to start working out to get stronger and a thicker and I had so many women comment on how I should wait till I have children because then I'm not going to get rid of the weight. Now with two children close in age, I have been able to get back to my regular weight. All in all, I believe things can be genetic and also stress based so people should not feel comfortable enough to comment on people's bodies.
Look at Chadwick Boseman. So many people commented on his weight and didn't know he was actually dying...
I think if you look in the mirror and you don’t like what you see it shows on the outside regardless of what size you are so when there’s a shift in that comments start to come because you’re being seen in a different light. For those who are trying to lose weight/becoming healthier it tends to show in how you carry yourself. I think it has more to do with confidence then a number on the scale
people treat differently based on how u look. it unfortunate but it is what it is .
As a person that’s grown up in the entertainment industry, I know first hand how people treat people based on their body size. Especially if the person is in some public light. I absolutely H A T E IT!
Because of my experience in all of this, I hold back from doing so many things. I could be a completely different person and have a completely different life if I could just move past what I know people are thinking and feeling about me.
Personally, I don’t want anyone to “compliment “ me on anything has to with my physical appearance.
I’m currently avoiding all of my friends, all of my African people, and the majority of my American family. Because I don’t want to deal with any comments about my physical appearance (or my life to be honest. ).
I’m missing out on so much because people won’t STFU. AND I can’t seem to get my life together, and a physical sense. SMH
And another thing! LOL It irks me for people to see you’ve gained weight and they think it’s their job to constantly give you weight loss advice or mention a workout or meal plan or supplements. I know it’s coming from a place of love. But be quiet or just be mindful!
If I don’t come to you for help, I don’t want it!
If I don’t mention my body, you don’t need to mention my body.
If I don’t speak to you directly about my journey, then keeps your words and links to yourself.
I COULD GO ON BUT ILL STOP IT HERE.
SAME! Been slim and a size 6-8 my whole life until 2020. Blew up and I was definitely treated differently after gaining weight.
Hugs was it stress..made Covid ruined a lot of people's lives and not even with them getting the virus. I still struggle to leave the house now....
How so??
I understand how sensitive this issue is with changes to our bodies, and I saw one of my friends have a melt down just 2 days ago when someone told her she ‘looked pregnant’. The person didn’t mean it from a bad place but I know we Nigerians can be over expressive /too blunt with our comments.
I have learnt to hold my tongue about people’s weight just as I am also struggling to drop some pounds myself and I know how much it hurts when someone tells me to watch my weight. But it is actually the bitter truth I know myself but would rather not want anyone to say to my face.
At the end of the day, it may all come down to how we communicate it especially if unknown to the other person that it is related to health issues. Looking away about someone’s weight changes may just interpret as ‘not caring’ when they likely would have sought medical attention if someone had said something earlier.
This is so true. Even when people show their weight loss journey, they mostly show the weight loss on their tummies. It's all focused on body size rather than health. SMH.
Chizi you look gorgeous and glowy in this video. Love that hair. And yes, very relevant topic.
I remember when a friend of mine lost weight and I didn’t say anything. Then she talked about her weight lost and I said “I thought you lost weight” and she was like well why didn’t you say something. So I think people really appreciate those compliments! I know when I drop some pounds I like it.
Yes, that was your friend. Your friend would’ve appreciated it which you now know. I wouldn’t use that as a general blanket for every single person, especially as your relationship with each person varies ❤
I wouldn’t use your friend’s experience as a blanket statement. And a response to her would be what the video inferred which is you never know what someone is going through health or life wise unless they tell you, but now that she let you know, you know now.
I see what you both are saying. I guess the majority when I speak up about it it is only to people that I consider friends. I do another instance though a girl on my volleyball team. She had graduated and was about to get married and lost a ton of weight and I told her she looks fabulous and she wasn’t excited at all! So that’s always in back of my mind too.
so true but it goes the same way when you skinny and gain a little, you get all these praises.. But all of this start at home, we always have parents or aunties even uncles who would poke on your weight, especially for the african family.. you too skinny, you too big, are you going to finish that? 😭😭😭
Thank you for shining light on body positivity Chizi...love you for it!
I’ve always been a bigger girl and once I’ve lost over 100 pounds people really start treating me nicer or now I’m a B because I act the same but in their eyes I’m stuck up now. I’m enjoying my new size but at the same time I’m so uncomfortable and self conscious about how I look because I feel like everyone is judging me. It’s weird because I didn’t feel this way when I was heavier. I even had a good friend say I used to be a fatty Mcfat so and I’m like damn that’s how you used to think of me
This needs to be reiterated. I hadn't announced my pregnancy, and was loosing weight due to nausea. My baby was healthy & fine for my whole pregnancy. My doctors were fine. My body was healthy/fine. Spectators were not. They talk too much
I actually started binge eating after a very terrible breakup and that caused me to gain a lot of weight. There is a significant difference because i used to be very skinny and the first thing people notice is my weight now i dont really care but our bodies are very much scrutinized by society because it's the first thing that meets the eye!
This story is all the same even with wearing my natural hair vs a wig.
Yes!!! You get treated differently based on the hairstyle lol it’s so interesting
Men treated me differently when I did my nails for the first time. Is it European beauty standards?
Just by the title alone, I had to battle my mind in the outfit I wanted to wear. My thoughts were "well my back isn't unbigged yet" I kept changing. 😭 And realized I got some internal work to do because I should not be criticizing my body this much when all it does is works to keep me healthy & therefore deserves love... sheesh.
Well, I'm a Nigerian and im like 55kg, im pretty skinny but not underweight but people call me panla meaning dried fish or a pencil even while I walk minding my business and chubbier ladies treat thinner ones like small kids
I think it also depends on where you live and their idea of healthy as far as you are not malnourished or over over weight
Hugs....we need to get out of that mindset..they say the same to thin people in the Caribbean..."shape like a pencil or a stick" It's rude. As long as the personal is healthy we need to Mind our own business.
I think we're over thinking this and being too sensitive. Im speaking as someone who has gone from 300lb to 200lb. Being overweight is unhealthy. People complimenting you on being healthier is a good thing. Its people being polite with good intentions so take the compliment and carry on!
Some commenters did not pass the vibe check
I have definitely experienced this, it is certainly a thing. While I don’t think we should make unsolicited comments about people’s weight specifically, I don’t take offense to people treating me differently because of my weight loss. Because most importantly, I started treating myself differently! I am far more invested in caring for my health than ever before, and I am taking so much better care of myself. The weight is only a part of the story, so it’s only natural others will treat you based on how you treat yourself.
If you’re abusing your body with a bad diet, hygiene, lack of care, then you show up in the world differently compared to when you’re doing the opposite.
So I don’t get mad at people around me who changed because I changed too!
African women will always go for your weight before they greet you 😭. As though it's their responsibility to keep your weight in check
Thank you for this!
A few years back I lost 90lbs from weight loss surgery and I could tell the difference. Even from men in my church.
Everything you have said is so true but I guess subscribers and followers figure that you have put on the social media so you have to expect anything that is being said about it. Social media to an extent has caused individuals to think that they can comment on things without being thoughtful about the repercussions of these comments.
I think people comment on weight loss because weight loss it is perceived as success in being disciplined in habits or goals, such as increasing physical activity or maintaining a healthy diet. Weight loss isn't always attributed to these factors and that's where issues with comments can be a sensitive issue. As for weight gain, in most cases, people would rather not hear it. I lose. I gain. Don't care too much about other people's opinions about my body. I love me some me. BUT I understand that others may get offended, so I don't offer unsolicited comments.
Black ppl in general comment on people weight especially old Black ppl. I never forget when my dad said something about my weight when he was small as a toothpick cause he was sick
My parents are in their 70s...they already know that if they comment negatively on me I'm going to comment negatively back on them. I'ma match their energy and see how they like it. I'm fat and you are wrinkly...i think we are even. Lol!
@@marleyhill34 Oh no
Yes, l have when l was heavier, there was no comments, but when l went plant base, l lost a lots of weight.
Which for me it is great, but they do, which is not right
What is wrong with getting compliments after losing weight. What if you do look more attractive, healthier, more approachable??
Being fat is unhealthy, some people are overweight and they are still pretty so they get compliments. But aside from that small percentage …. majority of the time being overweight conceals beautiful people because their beauty is covered by fat and unnecessarily so due to genetics, unhealthy eating, etc.
It’s just the truth.
@@Ashleyunfiltered Hi there. I get your point but it’s still wrong. What’s wrong is treating people differently and positively only when they are smaller and you have no positive comments if a person looks nice who is bigger and healthy. Their health, unless you are their doctor, parent or spouse is none of your business and if you feel a person must be thin to hear positive comments from you then you do not deserve to say anything to them, period! The inverse is also true, some people do not like being thin and the reasons behind their weight loss could be stress or sickness! People need to stop feeling like they are entitled to opinions about people’s bodies, no matter your intention. It is insensitive and rude.
If someone is TRYING to doing something and they are successful, I acknowledge them and congratulate them…no hate….no shade….just positive vibes and encouragement. I personally appreciate when people acknowledge my weight loss and efforts. ❤ #100Down
Thank you. When people comment I just say, oh have I? I had no idea. Ive been more focused on building healthy relationships with myself and others and growing my career. :D
I'm in my me era. Self-re-parenting. ( i just found out I;m autistic), getting my body strong ( regardless of weight) and coming off psychotropic drugs and planning for my retirement. I do not have time for other people that much but especially if they are going to disturb my peace and say BS. Neurodivergent brains are like a BS detector...lol! as soon as there is some BS we get triggered.
best answer to look like you've lost weight
I like physical compliments especially if I’ve been in the gym
I dropped 7kg in a few days as a result of stress and PTSD; everyone was saying how great I look. It made me even more stressed, to the point where I lost my appetite. I've only recently started eating properly again and it's be a year. My opinion is do not comment on people's weight unless you know what the person's trying to gain/lose weight.
I think when people lose weight it shows lifestyle changes and that’s what’s really being complimented. Gaining weight is easy but losing is hard
A lot of people really struggle to put on weight
Assuming someone made positive lifestyle changes just because they lost weight is part of the issue, it implies someone made bad decisions because they gained weight. Everyone should just stop commenting on people's bodies
Wow that's a very myopic world view
I agree. However I think the issue is people not complementing anything positive about you verses all the complements. I think habits are more important. You can be overweight and still more active and eat more balanced than someone smaller than you but the compliments won't be rolling in the same way.
My mother in law every time she sees me makes it a point to saw “you look like you e lost weight” and I look at her like you and me both know how fat I’ve gotten… but then she’ll say to her son (you’ve been working out? … then compliments his arms or back or whatever body part it looks like he’s been working out?
No lies told... it sucks!
Oh you aren’t trying to bang or chase down a fat person for sexual intrest
People want validation physically for their soul
No physically if skinny is beautiful mostly if you’re not that or far from that that’s what ppl see !!! Do desire desirability when your are doing the work to be attractive we know how it is!
I get concerned for people’s health when the gain a lot of weight, same for if they are extremely thin.
I'm not concerned unless they tell me that they are unhealthy and they need to lose or gain weight. I have very thin family members and very big family members and they are all still healthy. strangers? it's none of my business.
Girl your hairrr😍😍
Great video... Facts and truth..
Great topic. Where did you get that hair? It's gorgeous. Could you share a link, please?
1 minute posted and I’m here for it 😮
Hi Chizi!!!❤
You're really pretty and I love your energy and name.
I really love,love ur bubu
Go girl,in Christ alone is our confidence 🙌😊
You look great, no lie, no lie. I think at the end of the day, it's about you. Of course, you cannot rule out what people will say about you. People always have opinions, but what I do is shut them out. It hurts, but I shut it out because what do you expect me to do? And for me, it's not about the weight gain, it's the body shape, to be honest. I didn't have much of NYAASHHHHH for days, but everyone wants that. What do you expect me to do, get a BBL?
So, I get it, I resonate so much with this, and it's frustrating. But what I am doing now is working on myself. I have PCOS, and some of you know what that comes with. PCOS and stress don't mix, and that's how I gain weight and have my apple shape. But I have learned to cool down and work slowly because those people's words then increase my stress, which leads to weight gain. So, I'm not having that. In conclusion, @Chizi, you are beautiful. I've followed you for years since 2014, and of course, we all grow up, but you have maintained your standard and you look great. Continue with the great work you are doing. Let no one TALK TO YOU ANY HOW.
I went from 200 to 150 trust me you are treated differently....when your face starts getting small people start asking what have you been doing to lose weight
Honestly I feel like as individuals we should focus on ourselves and what is good for us. Even as we know and believe that we are wonderfully and fearfully made we should understand that this body we were given is also important and God expects us to take care of it. Our body positivity and size confidence should be based off of healthy choices, genuinely taking care of our bodies and making sure our bodies are healthy and we are not prone to illnesses that are encouraged by excessive fat or cholesterol... We will only be able to fulfill all of God's purpose if our bodies were healthy enough to keep us going... As long as your size is healthy and natural and you're good...
But really, a person's body is none of your concern, you do not have to comment if you're not close to them and have a basis for doing that... It is plain insensitive, especially when you're making negative comments, and now I'm just understanding that even the comment you think is a compliment can be out of place for that person. Just mind your business and focus on yourself and the people that matter to you. God help us all.
Had me here quickly