Honestly I think this video should acknowledge that there is a difference between how a person with bipolar *perceives* a partner's emotions and the feelings that their partner *actually* has towards them. In my experience dating someone with bipolar, his (often paranoid) thoughts about what I was feeling always trumped reality.
I've seen the opposite - extreme empathy deficits in two of the last three people with bipolar I've dated. I'm the one who gave and gave and got little to nothing in return.
@@hoodaticus You nailed it. I’m currently pensively waiting on tomorrow, the day she moves out. She’s drinking tonight, in a high manic episode, and has made verbal threats that she’s going to “F me up” & “you don’t know what you’ve got comin boy”…it’s gotten so bad I’ve started recording as much as I can every time I am alone with her. 6 years of being physically (throwing, pushing, grabbing) & emotionally abused thinking that someday things will change. Years of promises to stop self medicating, only to be lied to. I can tell no matter how hard she tries to hide the fact that she’s obviously messed up…and it’s not just alcohol it’s anything minus the extreme drugs. I’m so absolutely worn down. I have a bullet lodged in my back, shrapnel in my chest, an autoimmune disorder, ptsd. This week we got into an argument about the drinking & she lost it on me! I mean unhinged. I’m just waiting to see how she tries to manipulate the narrative of her being some “victim”, when she’s the aggressor. I can’t move without pain, but now breathing hurts. (I won’t get into her most recent episode but…I’m a hurtin’ unit) Tomorrow she leaves…and though I pray for peace I am concerned that she’ll pull the strings once she’s clear of the house. Who do people generally believe, a man or a women? And she’s so good at the manipulation that I expect her to carry through with her threats. Why have I stayed? Three reasons…one, I truly love her when she’s in between cycles & not messed up. Second, the idea that she can change. Lastly, her son who is like my own son who I love so very much. All the nights she’s get bombed and take off…leaving me with her then 10, 11, 12 (now 16 yr old) son…we’ve survived this together. And tomorrow she leaves. I’m on full lockdown. In my room, door locked…I don’t know how much alcohol she has stashed nor how much she’s drank tonight…I pray she doesn’t get drunk. When she does she becomes even more combative & this old body just can’t take it. I hope your situation is better now! Be well…Ian
@@BluesStraightFromTheHarp Prayed for you Ian holy crap! I think you need to run. It's time to love yourself for a change. Sort of like, putting your own mask on before helping others.
I just got out of a relationship with someone with this disorder. The relationship has given me disorders. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. The next time I date I will ask for their mental state history straight up.
Hi! I appreciate your honesty and really sorry to hear the struggle you faced in your previous relationship. As someone with bipolar, I will not deny how hard it can be for another person especially if someone goes untreated. Your mental health is very important as well. Thank you for sharing! -Hannah
Me too, 😭😭😭 just 3 days ago.... now im paranoid. We never fight or argue. When he feels like shit, i give him time and stay quit in his side. But somethings bad happened and he lost his trust to anyone including me. bcoz of a friend of him who take advantage to him and his dog died. He wants to leave Philippines coz he cant stay in a place were people are constantly taking advatage of him. He broke up with me bcoz he cant take me coz he cant afford the expenses. And thats it. Its all over now.
Unfortunately, this is not the case in my experience. I appreciate that people with bipolar can express deep emotions. However, they can leave people felling empty, rejected and confused because they do not always love deeply as the speaker says here. They need deeply when manic, a need for adoration, love, compassion and to be heard and this can be perceived as demanding and controlling. They can become insecure when it it's not given, becoming aggressive, spiteful and dismissive. I'm afraid I see the comments about loving too much as an excuse for their need to be adored when they need it. My experience of dealing with people with bipolar is difficult and respectfully so, but they want things on their terms and when their moods take them. They have no real understanding about the impact they have on others, as they are so caught up with themselves and their condition. The people who stay with people with bipolar are the people who love deeply and most often get hurt but accept the hurt as a pre-condition to loving someone with bipolar. I see it as one of the more selfish mental health conditions, besides narcissism (it's not the person's fault). This is totally understandable when someone is trying so hard to regulate themselves, they lose sight of the people around them most often. It isn't that bipolar people love too much, it's that they want love when they want it and feel rejected if they do not get it, not considering that they may have caused damage to their partner in a previous phase or mood they were in the previous days or weeks. I agree that people can take advantage of people with bipolar but in a relationship, the person dating the person with bipolar is far more understanding and loving than the person with the condition. Even the video sounds self-righteous but maybe that's just the condition too. I mean that in the kindest possible way as I find the denial, a broken bridge to change.
This is definitely your personal experience. Be aware that this is not the case with two differing types of bipolar disorder or even individual people. It sounds like you just dealt with someone with narcissistic traits. That, and you glorified people who stay with people with bipolar disorders, while calling people with Bipolar disorders selfish and self righteous in general. That's self righteous.
Same here, my partner has bipolar 1. Very draining as they share their sorrows and when you share they question the story or they used it against you. He push people all the time embarrassed people and himself that's why no friends..selfish..is it his fault? No because most people with bipolar has no self awareness..thats why they were categorized because of symptoms and patterns. It's no one's fault..need treatment..
i’m dealing with this right now… he does not care how he makes me feel and i’m the one who doesnt understand? How can someone be this oblivious to the pain they cause ? Very selfish. I feel so unloved even when he comes back around and is normal again there is a gaping hole in my chest and i dont choose to be hurt, believe me, i’m not the one to cry victim. But at a certain point when do my feelings matter ?
I couldn't agree more, certainly from my experiences. It is well known in psychology that bipolar disorder tends to be associated with a lower degree of empathy. I must say, I do feel a little sorry for them. If they cannot most of the time love themselves, it must be very difficult to truly love others. After all, one might argue that a person can only truly love another when their own cup is full
When you mentioned trust…I lost trust for my partner with bipolar because he changed his mind so often. One day he’d say one thing and the next day he would say something completely different. Literally one day he wanted to marry me and the very next day, he “couldn’t be in a relationship”. How do you believe a word someone says after that? You struggle to trust but my guess is that people struggle to trust you as well…if your symptoms are anything like my boyfriends were. I just wanted to point that out. Give you a perspective from the “other side” lol
Exactly!! I'm going through the same thing right now. It's so sad. We have to keep praying for the entire world. Nothing is as it seems. To everyone reading this, Jesus loves you.
Right, how can you trust someone who change outlook in everyday and to think my partner that has bipolar has trusts issues with me when I am consistent with everything. My partner play the victim card or the world should evolves him. No self awareness that's why most of them has no friends, everyones drain
@@Musiclover-wr6gw I actually ended up working things out with my partner. I learned more about the disorder and tried to understand what he was going through. When he’s not in an episode, he’s 100% consistent with what he wants and how he feels. I’m trying to separate the true him from the disorder. It’s still hard for sure but I learned what an episode can do with their thought patterns and I’m trying to understand. My situation is a bit different too because he’s actually always completely trusted me. Never questions anything. The disorder may be the same but they’re obviously still their own individuals. When he’s stable, he really is a great man. If he had his own trust issues on top of everything else (as the lady in this video describes), that would make things much harder! Hope you feel better soon! Best wishes.
I'm not surprised, that's the pattern too on and off, over and over again just like mine. They are good people that's why we can't let go of them even with all the chaos because we hope they will change. I hope that will work, keep safe
@@Musiclover-wr6gw Yep exactly. Honestly though…the way I try to think about it is that if someone had told me before I met him that I could have a relationship that was the best I’d ever had 95% of the time but really hard the other 5%, would I do it. I definitely would have. It’s been 9 months now and he’s only had the one episode. All relationships have their challenges. The people we love always hurt us the most. I feel all we can really do is just try to pick the ones worth suffering for. Thank you for the well wishes 💕
After she said "we constantly pull and push emotions from them" thats all i needed to hear. My bf has bipolar and refuses to take medication for it, and he constantly is trying to get a reaction out of me and plays with my emotions. Not anymore bc i'm leaving him now
I think I am more affectionate and passionate in a relationship. I always feel like I want intimacy. Not sexual intimacy, but the kind where we can talk to each other about anything. I want to know them inside and out.
Alex Boyles SAME I start off very stand-off ish and not interested to guard falling too fast but once I do fall there is always that feeling that my feelings aren’t reciprocated because they don’t show passion the same way I do especially after the honeymoon phase
I always want sexually intimacy, and i keep trying to do nice things for my wife, but she always shoots me down, this affects my self-esteem and she dosnt get it
I find a symptom of bipolar is feeling like you are always giving and giving, but you aren't really giving, you are taking away from the other person. In your mind you feel like that person is not giving as much as you because you are too busy being stuck on those details and sizing shit up to see who is giving more. It seems to be some sort of selfishness. There is nothing charming about bipolar, nor is it beautiful. It's downright repugnant in a relationship.
I'm sorry about your affliction, but you need to always be mindful of it and constantly self-aware, which I understand can be torturous for a bi-polar mind. However, don't start tricking yourself into believing that it is beautiful; that's the sickness talking. It's hard when relationships fail and we like to blame ourselves most times, but telling yourself that you are too kind and too giving and your partner is\was not and you always seem to have the same problem with being too giving etc etc; that's the sickness talking. I have seen it and experienced it intimately for a good number of years with two different women. They had the exact same story. All of their previous relationships failed because they were too giving and didn't get anything back. The first time I didn't see it coming but the second time, when i started to hear the same back story, and soon after finding out the woman was also diagnosed with bi-polar, I ran for the hills. I loved both of those women very much, and a part of me always will. They were beautiful, lovely people, but the bi-polar elements were definitely not. Please be mindful and self-aware. Do not trick yourself into believing that you are a precious, vulnerable flower with your bi-polar; you are very capable of destroying people's lives, and causing great emotional harm. @@shelbyrose91
I agree with you that the intent was not to be manipulative or selfish, and more of a programmed pattern that is difficult to break. Your reply has really made an impression on me. You are right, these were my experiences and my perception of them. I am not perfect myself in any way, and trying to classify my emotional experiences in a toxic setting is wrong. I am sorry for hurting you with my choice of words, and I thank you for seeing into something that I didn't quite consider.@@shelbyrose91
One thing I learned about people with bipolar: I do not want a relationship with them again. I understand it is not their choice to be like that but they can be so toxic and destructive that it makes no sense to go all the way to see if you find the self-aware bipolar willing to work on their issues. Never again.
They also love to talk about their feelings and you can listen for hours and try to make them safe and happy but if you’re having a bad day they will scold down on how dare you be sad or negative. What an inconvenience for them that is. It’s incredible for them. Their lack of empathy towards others is part of their disease. It’s constantly about them and their feelings. They rarely ever think about others feelings including their mother. Especially when others are going through health problems. They see it as an inconvenience to them and as a weakness on their part! But they’re surely capable of dumping their feelings on others no problem.
@@Cinemaphile7783 yeah, but there is a HUGE overlap in terms of behaviour and mannerisms between someone with a bipolar disorder and an narcistic disorder.
This isn’t true at all in my situation. He love bombed me and I fell totally and completely in love with him. I knew he had mental illness but I woulda done almost anything to support him. As soon as his manic phase was over he disengaged and kept me at a distance. He said he didn’t reciprocate my love and he was afraid he was gonna hurt me. I would check in on him occasionally to let him know I cared, but never expected a reply. I would ship him special supplements and a light therapy box because I badly wanted to support him, but I knew he wanted space so I didn’t nag or ask questions. I felt that he would eventually tell me on his own when he was ready. He did reply and was kind, but only on questions not related to the relationship. He never initiated texts anymore either. Then after a few weeks of total indifference on his part I told him how hurt and confused I was. He went very cold and ended it. I wished him well and gave him what he wanted. I told him I hope he finds love. I don’t think negatively of him. Just like someone who had diabetes, he can’t help his illness. I’m heartbroken, but if he doesn’t want me in his life I’m not gonna beg to be loved. I do wish him well and hope he meets an amazing woman he can trust and share the same kind of love with her that I felt for him. I just wish I didn’t miss him so damn much. If only I knew how to speed up the healing process 😢
This sounds so much like my own story... 😔 right now I'm at the country fixed state... He has gone to the extent of telling me "listen move on if u want me to its not that difficult for me to find someone else" I dono if I shld stand here n prove my love Or just let go😭💔
Wow, same thing just happened to me. I thought we were both madly in love, turns out just I was. Just a few days ago we talked about getting married someday and we made huge plans, then suddenly she pulls way back, does all the classic bipolar symptoms. She admitted she is bipolar just yesterday, next thing I know we're broken up. I'm still trying to process wth happened. Depressed badly. The whole time together wasn't real, it was a lie.
ronster69 😢😢😢 I’m sorry to hear that and I feel your pain. My boyfriend has been out of reach for almost 3 weeks, well he texted me few times at least I knew he is alive. I’m having a very hard time that I wonder does he actually want to break up with me. Very heart breaking I know how bad it is
This sounds familiar but in different ways.Mine is he pull away then come back again.We are In and Out all the time.I just get used to it and learn more .Most of the time he say it but not mean it that's how look at it.
Giving and giving??? Being in a 28 yr relationship with my partner who has BiPolar Disorder, this has soooo not been the case in my experience, more like draining and draining every part of me, only giving at the threat of losing me. The giving parts are wonderful and I’m guessing that’s where the intense empathy come in. Although as wonderful as the high moments in our relationship have been, asI’m typing this I’m thinking those highs stem more from the concern over losing me than his actual feeling for me. It’s a hell of a roller coaster ride, that I probably should have stopped riding long ago. To be clear though he was undiagnosed, so untreated as well for most of our relationship.
Sounds like mine, but not as long. Good point about his highs being more about the fear of losing you than him actually loving you. It looks an awful lot like love though, doesn’t it?
I always thought that was just my personality, nice to know others have the exact same struggles. Being too sensitive is my biggest struggle in life in general. I struggle w the empathy thing, it’s tuff because I also feel like that’s part of my gift/purpose in life, I love helping people. There is a fine line between helping and being taken advantage of that I have to watch. I mean this in general, not just romantic relationships. I didn’t grow up with the stigma though I didn’t know I was bipolar until 36 yrs old. I also think I always subconsciously dated people that were more dysfunctional than I was.
Damn man.. I’m sorry this is gonna be a long thread but I’m hurting.. Me and my girl recently broke up a few days ago. From going to best friends,to lovers, to nothing.. From knowing her to middle school (which we are both 27 years old), to becoming what could’ve been the “one”. Proudly introduced her to my friends and family and coworkers. Calling her mine and being proud of it. The first 5.5 months were the happiest a man had in the world. She was considerate, loving, joyful, and the best person I knew. We had the same interests and it was obvious we were meant for each other. It seemed as the months passed on, she changed. I would sit there at night thinking of why she was yelling at me and screaming at me for literally just sitting there. 🤷🏽♂️ I was tryna understand her and couldn’t see her point. She was the first girl I ever loved so I went out of my way for not only her, but her daughter (6) too. 😔 I loved that little girl like she was my own and still keeping the gift she made me in my room torments me.. I was there when her grandfather passed away, to all of her family parties and even her own mother and grandma told her, “this one is a good man. Don’t ever let him go.” I was there when she was about to lose her apartment, to her thoughts of suicide.. I hated seeing her like that.. super depressed out of nowhere, and taking it out on me. She was the first girl I loved so it started playing with my mind too thinking that I was the one messing up. She was the best person I knew, and when her switch flipped, she was this cruel, nasty, mean, ugly person to me. I put up with her verbal abuse and once, physical abuse. I forgave her and loved and wanted to move on and start a family with her. I knew she wanted to too, but her mental issues wouldn’t let her be happy or let me love her properly. We would go on road trips together, then she would get bothered by something so little and ruin some of them. She knew she was a lot to handle, and she thanked me for putting up with her. She recently started pushing not only me away, but her own friends. She got swallowed up in her overthinking of how she wasn’t something. Calling herself POS, a bad mother, and a bad person all around. I just wish her baby daddy never beat her, she didn’t deserve that trauma. I wish her ex’s never cheated on her, so it was hard for her to trust me. I wish she had a good childhood, but unfortunately her dad wasn’t in the picture and her mother didn’t start actually being close to her until age 24 when her daughter was 3. She tried so hard to change, but she couldn’t. I never once told her she was bipolar, but I spent nights thinking wtf I was doing wrong and all of a sudden, I thought to myself, “what if she’s bipolar?” Now looking at everything, it makes perfect sense. The substance abuse to “numb” herself so she didn’t have to “feel anything.” Calling her and telling her that wasn’t healthy, so she would just get super defensive and tell me that it’s just my fault.. blaming me over and over. I was the most patient one with her and loved her and her daughter. Her daughter is the thing that kills me the most.. I loved her. 😔 I hope she can realize, that she’s not only hurting people around her, but her own self too. I love her so much and this has ruined our relationship of only 8 months. What could’ve been, what should’ve been is no more because of this mental illness. I hope she can find help one day, and be my friend and find happiness again. She broke it off and she took blame too but she thought it would be better to break it off instead of putting each other through that.. I’m hurting super hard because the first girl I fell in love with, didn’t deserve this. She wanted the happily ever after with me and she couldn’t have it.. I hope she finds help because I don’t want her ruining her relationship with her daughter as she gets older. Sorry I just had to pour my heart out UA-cam. I hope people going through this with their significant other has the best of luck. ❤️
You are able to love and show love. Your story is very powerful and yet I’m sad reading it. No one asks for mental illness; no one wants it. Hopefully she can get some professional help pronto. You are an Angel for loving
*A sad story... but your last word is LUCK ??? I don't believe in luck. I believe in God. And I think the negative things bipolar persons do is because of demon influence. If you can't understand this, you will not understand what is Deliverance.*
You literally just wrote my story, only that my now ex didn't have kids, and our relationship lasted 2 years and she knew she was bipolar. But man it's really hard loving someone with bipolar 😢. I still miss her though and I hope she gets better.
It's hard to say how much my Bipolar I affected my early relationships because I was an active alcoholic all the way to the age of thirty. So, how much of my behavior was Bipolar cycling, my addict brain, or both? I finally got sober and diagnosed/medicated when I was thirty and I was finally able to separate the two conditions. I would say that the one constant was that the intensity of my emotions would leave me feeling like I wasn't getting back the same from my partners and the mania would leave them feeling confused. I would say that the biggest help for us is education about this condition and recognizing how it can set us up for heartbreak in relationships (if we aren't mindful about our health.) I have a lot more empathy now for those I was involved with because I recognize that the carnival ride that was my mind was a ride that they were on, as well. If I'm not taking care of myself then they people we are involved with are subjected to our mental extremes with us.
Thanks for that, C.C. We've had several people who were former partners of those with bipolar disorder come on and talk about how difficult life was for them. I think because our needs are central to us, it's easy to forget or not even understand how challenging it can be for friends and loved ones. Keeping in mind that each person is different, there is one constant...there's a limit to how much any person can stand. Hannah
My ex girlfriend was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder a week after we broke up. She had cheated on me and she would push me away even though I treated her right. That same week she went back to ex after dating her for four years. She was financially reckless and couldn’t hold a job for a while. She isn’t a bad person but I just wish she understood how much she hurt me.
i'm sure she does know she hurt you it's not that bipolar makes you not know right from wrong it's just for me at least acting on impulse and emotion i'm so sorry that happened to you
Well bipolar and narcissism and sociopathy live in the same house but in different rooms. At times, they cross paths! So depending on her behavior, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t care if she hurt you. Talking from experience.
Your ex was bipolar from my experience... If she is in a relationship she will really care and share...but once she is out of it...she will never regret or look back.
Correct..once a bipolar in a relationship they care and share..but when they walk away you are totally stranger to them as if they didn't see you before.
Yes. That's how they are. Nit, their fault but it's an illness that affect others more than them I'm afraid. 10 years wasted for me. Don't make the same mistake. You can't fix it. They will never change. Save yourself the heartache and tears.. Go away, hurt, then look for someone who is always happy to hear your voice, will be there for you, bi's proud of who you are... That's what a proper relationship is. BP people will make you believe thin gruel is a banquet if a relationship
@@kevinharris2805it takes a specific level of self awareness to maintain a living relationship while living with BP. Not all people with bipolar disorder is like this and actions like this will determine the amount of work they’ve done to understand their diagnosis, emotions and decisions that come with it. It also depends on the “stable” partner in the relationship and what they know about the disorder and how to handle it. I have BP II and was diagnosed at 13 yo. I’m 26 and have put in the work to identify my mistakes in manic episodes and in my depressive states. Ive put in the most amount of effort in most of my relationships but it’s hard for another to handle the disorder, just as it’s hard for me. People with this illness can change most certainly, just remember that we are just as human with more weight on our shoulders as anyone els in this world is.
My girlfriend is bipolar and sometimes it's very hard to deal with her sudden mood changes. It can go form sweet and romantic and feel good moments to quickly disastrous toxicity in a matter of minutes
Hey - I think it's awesome you're out here being an advocate. Having said that - I grew up with a mom who is bipolar and I suspect my dad is narcissistic. I know mental illness is tough (I have some major anxiety issues) but at the end of the day, you have a choice to get help or not, and whether or not your mental illness controls you. I love my mom, but there are some things I cannot forget.
Almost 30 years together , and I love ❤️ her but , can’t do it no more , her sister agrees, our son 14 years old child is slowly giving up on her . Bottom line is if she doesn’t want to get help and medication, it doesn’t matter you say . They have to want to help them selves. God bless anyone living with someone with bi polar disorder.
I have a relationship with a bipolar person. I feel like there's only 2 modes of his views towards me. One, there are phases when he needs me so much, like calling me in the middle of the night, begging me to come over, or suddenly knocking at my door because he's insomniac and in the middle of anxiety. Other times, there are depressive episodes where he doesn't seem to need me at all. Like I was a bother to him. He's refusing help, doesn't text me back, or find reasons to hang up the phone even when I really just want to make sure he's okay. Like, it's one way or the other, there is no middle ground. Does anyone experience the same thing?
Yes, i endure my partner. Its been getting worse recently. She loves me so hard when shes alright but avoids and says extremely mean things when in an episode. She has told me to not listen to her when she's manic. To hold her tight and not let go, but even still its hard because the person wants nothing to do with you. What i suggest to you is this... When the person is in a good mood, you talk to them. Be truthful and honest. Come up with plans on how to cope. Even if your partner doesnt command when in an episode. Have a soft tone of voice, make eye contact. If the person permits, hold their hand. Speak slowly and softly. Be articulate. Tell them that its okay. Patience is key, if you love them enough patience should come naturally
My husband is exactly the same. Either needs me or doesn't. It's crazy. I live with my mom because he's so unpredictable. Today, he really needed me. Tomorrow, he may hate me who knows.
Huh. My experience is very different, but it's interesting to hear Hannah's POV. I have Bipolar II and I actually tend to be the standoffish one. It takes me a looong time to invest emotions in a relationship. I feel bad because I often feel like my partners are doing more emotionally than I am. Maybe because my emotions can be so volatile, I try to keep people away from them for as long as I can. I'm exactly the same when it comes to trusting. It takes me forever (again) to trust new people.
Could i be able talk to you about bipolar as the person im dating is bipolar 2 and i dont know what else i could do i love her but she is pushing me away all the time 😔x
@@biankapetzold4266 me too 😞. I'm struggling to communicate with her. She recently decided to reduce her meds and it's been hell. The emotions are unpredictable and basically don't know what will trigger her. I'm in constant panic.
Been with a woman who has BiPolar! 11 months.We have had our ups & downs. I've stayed with it. Today she was involved in an automobile accident. Her vehicle was flipped. Firefighters had to remove the windshield & cut through the top to get to her. She has no exterior/internal injuries, nothing but soreness. I'm 10 minutes from the scene, she calls her brother 3 hours away, & 4 hours away. Her daughter at 6:18. She text me at 7;14. Over an hour, she doesn't contact me. When I arrive at Hospital, family friend is there???All day long I stay at hospital, take her home, give her light lunch, put her to bed/sleep. When she wakes up, I sit outside shower to make sure she ok. Get her coffee, cup of Ice, put on her ankle brace run & get her prescription. I paid for. Feeling better I say Baby, I should've been in that ambulance or following you to hospital. I'm 10 minutes away! Why didn't you call me, I didn't think of it!!! You know how that makes me feel? Her response Was y does this have to be about you? I'm done!! I'm the last one she called, the man of her life, the man she is engaged to!!?? I should've been the 1st at the hospital.. IM DONE!!
I think in my situation it's the opposite, my gf is Bipolar and I have to give and give and give all the emotional support, to remind her she is loved and wanted. But when she's going through a mood swing or a break up cycle I don't come into her world, it's like I never existed, and my feelings and my part in the relationship have no bearing. I'll be dumped in a heartbeat without a tear or a moment of thought on her side.
I'm going through this with my new relationship... we can be all good one week and she is distant and almost nasty the next. I know she means well and I just weather the storm. I just give her space and let her know I am here. She usually comes around and talks. It takes alot... but in the end it is worth it... I do love her... that is that...
Hello Friend, This is literally what I'm going through with my gf, I'm not 100% sure if she suffers from Bipolar or PMDD. You should look up PMDD because my gf gets extremely nasty too to the point shell push us to the brink of break up, it's to do with the chemical imbalance during ovulation so she basically likes the opposite of you for a week or so that's where the nasty side comes from. Its 100% not okay, it's messed up really but it's what PMDD is. Hope your okay.
My medications keep me from feeling "too much" which really gives my mind a break. There are times I think I should go back to allowing myself to feel all of those emotions again because they seem to add to my artistic ability, and loving others more. But I can't do that. I have a family and if I went off my meds to "feel" more I could possibly end up on a psych unit. And the older I get( I will be 50), it seems my physical and mental self cannot handle that pressure anymore. Especially physically, the crying alone increases all the tension in my body and I ache from it. Meds are absolutely necessary for me. And I thank God for them.
Even God feels... Sad humanity numbs ourselves just to survive a balance life in this chaotic environment. I worry for you long term medication .... Eventually. You'll come to be a veggie or you man up and deal with your emotions.... .. gl
I dated someone with bi polar , she up and left me out of the blue 5 weeks into it , the 360 degree mood swings were brutal , she was able to undo 5 weeks of building a relationship in just a few sentences , she’s not all that happy even with leaving me 🤷🏿♂️ I’ve been seeing Dr.Crane every since to address my mental health
I could probably share 100 ways! One way is how trauma made physical intimacy hard for me. I've had many instances of my body not being treated well by others. So when a partner wanted to be close in normal and healthy ways my body resisted and it came off as rude or unloving.
To sum up BP, it's simply dating someone who is just highly and exclusively self centred. Sure they'll try to love you and do things they think will indicate they care... Truth is, they will never care for anyone else. Endless self medication, endless their needs, endless gaslighting.
Hi Amber. That's the beautiful thing about social media. It's amazing that you can run across someone who is experiencing what you are and finally you realize... I am not alone. I am not weird or strange. There are others just like me. Thanks, Hannah
HealthyPlace Mental Health Thank you so much for these Videos. I am curious, do you think someone who doesn’t have Bipolar could have similar troubles? Or are you saying it’s more typical for someone with a mood disorder x
@@ambertodd352 having these traits doesn't diagnose you with bi polar. Most people feel these things at different times. There's a lot more to bipolar than what one person can personally express in a 3 minute UA-cam video. I have developed a lot of these traits BECAUSE OF being with a bipolar person.... I am not bi polar.
I have bipolar 2 and I relate to everything you said in this video. I have only just found you today and I am so glad. It is more helpful than you can imagine to hear you talk about this and it makes me feel less alone and more understood somehow so thank you.
Was just diagnosed with polar disorder about four days ago, after being misdiagnosed as just depressed and on anti-depressants for five years which made the mania 1000 times worse, and everything you said is stuff that I dealt with my entire life, but had no idea that I had bipolar disorder. Got put through 40 years of my life in the suck.
my partner is pregnant and has bipolar disorder as well. once we found out about the pregnancy , she became more and more distant each week. I've been doing TONS & TONS of research to see how to go about things and so far I've been handling better than I would of a couple of years ago . She's distancing herself enough to where she wants to just be alone. I've took complete emotion out of this "phase" because I feel it is important to listen to your significant other , especially during a time like pregnancy . I know she loves me to death & wants to be with me , It's just this phase was kind of hard to deal with in the beginning of it . Patients . My patients with her, with us, are definitely becoming stronger with the more knowledge I am picking up each & every couple of days. thank you for this video !
as a diagnosed bipolar for the las ten years and after a lot of relationships with similar people the advice i can give you.. there's no cure for this. nor a workaround.. the most you can do is understand and let her open herself to reach a better communication. never forget that she loves you and most of the bad things are fears provoked by the vertigo of that height that is love.. so, just love without conditions. try to understand. and it is hard but, aside all of that dark side.. we have beautiful minds and most are great people. be strong.
I was diagnosed Manic Bipolar and I could relate with everything you said. My emotions are so intense that even when I see things from a logical point of view, Im completely consumed by it and burst out. Ive lost every relationship to this including every friendship.
This is what i have been made aware of about myself and new relationships. Be it friends or a romantic interest. I like you Hanna, have always wore my heart on my sleeve. As my mom and Grandmother have always put it. I have rose colored glasses on when i met people. I believe in the good and light in them. And want to genuinely give to them from my heart. I am extremely empathetic toward people and animals. I have learned though from my experiences, that there are givers in this world and there are takers. So be a bit cautious don't go putting yourself out there 100% right off the bat. And i finally realized i have worth and my illness doesn't define me. Thank you for your videos and standing up for Mental illness.
My husband of 26 years and year 1 cancer survivor left me and 4 kids for an affair. I was completely blindsided. He was recently diagnosed right before I found out about the affair and the pandemic. He seems like another man's soul is in my husband's body. He seems to have turned off his humanity switch best I can describe. I tried everything to save my Marriage. He never allowed me to walk with him for the mental health part of the journey but he did for the cancer. I am devastated and traumatized myself but need more understanding of the condition and maybe some light on the ease of throwing 26 years away, 4 kids and everything we have built together. I'm so confused
Hi. I’m really sorry for your situation. My girlfriend over 9 years is also bipolar and just did the same thing. Please do not look at her content for actual insight. It’s made from a bipolar skewed view, and only confirms their own skewed way of thinking how the world treats them. For actual insight, read content from official health websites. I also recommend the channel Polar Warrior. There you will find real insight and help you on your journey to heal. There is also a great bipolar forum on reddit with people in your situation. This girl is speaking from the viewpoint of a bipolar persons feelings. Well, they interpret their feelings completely wrong. That’s what people with their diagnose do. A bipolar’s skewed perception of reality is not reality. It’s never about taking responsibility. It’s all about what other people do wrong and not how the diagnosis make them wrongly feel, and thus act. 90% of bipolar marriages fail. The correlation is bipolar, not the partner. It sounds like your husband is in the mania stage. If you read more into this, you will see that most bipolar people in this stage adapts a lot of traits from narcissistic personality disorder. Also, 1/3 of bipolar people have traits from cluster B personality disorders even in their regular state. They may feel they are empathetic, but they do not understand how they actually treat other people when being sick. What they may think of is being empathetic, may be down right scary for other people. That’s why it’s utmost important that they work on their sickness, take their meds, continue getting help, etc. Bipolar is not a diagnosis to take lightly.
I’ve come to accept that if you have bipolar, it’s probably best you stay alone, and not get involved in too many relationships or any at all. Because in the end, sooner or later, something will burst, and someone will get hurt. It’s a condition I’ve struggled with all my life in maintaining a friendship or relationship. All we can do is learn to find peace in solitude, eat well, sleep well, and remind yourself that sooner or later, this will all be over.
i have never heard such an accurate articulation of my relationship issues!!!!!!! that’s crazy. starting to actually embrace my illness and hearing the community speak my own truths is so uplifting in a way! great video thank you
Hi Gabe! I am so happy you are starting to accept your life with mental illness. Our truth is so important. So happy you are here! Thank you so much! -Hannah
I’m currently dating someone who’s bipolar and it was a love bomb fest and suddenly they’ve grown very very distant . They’ve stated many times how much this relationship, and I mean to them. So I want to help support and understand what’s going on. Some of my most beloved people are bipolar, my stepdad, multiple friends, but I’m still in the dark.. if anyone has suggestions feel free to comment below! It’d mean a lot :’) Also lovely video thank you so much!✨❤️
One other thing, you requested information; I suggest life coaching and being open and honest with each other. Thoughts create feelings. Awareness is a huge win as well as taking the time to make decisions. Get clear and be intentional.
Sending you much love and understanding. My one suggestion would be not listen to what they say, but watch what they do. Almost like you’re deaf and unable to read lips... Watch them for a long time. I’m a sucker for words and often get tripped up by their power to move me. The very best to you. I hope you turn your own inner voice up louder than your partners. ❤️
In a nutshell just end the relationship and walk away. My mother is bipolar and my husband of the last 9 years is also bipolar. He acted normal at first but... A year after marriage he went through a phase where he job hopped or simply didn't keep one. My mother does the same thing. It's really emotionally draining how selfish they can be. Yes there are people who stay on medication and are very successful who also suffer from bipolar but it's such a double edged sword sometimes. I've been through so much with my spouse yet he never sees how selfish he really has been. I've actually put off having children at the moment cause I'm afraid I'll end up having to do it alone. Once I'm done with college I'm gonna be free from this marriage! Because if I had known he was bipolar then I wouldn't have married him to be honest. I love him... I just can't live with him anymore.
@@heavenforney3830 oh dear, i feel you totally. May I ask how long you have been loving him? I have been with my bf for 4 years and we been bad to each other and later at the end, recently we are agree that my bf has bipolar. After 3 years datimg with him, I am hurt so much. So I killed my love for him to protect my deep emotions and feeling. Now when he got his episodes, he complain how i dont love him and dont take care of him. I still have motherly love for him, but its too much pain i get everyday for being myself and trying to take care of him. I wish he will be free from this disorder one day and I can get as much love I deserved from him.
@@saltedbuttery Hey sweetie, I've been married 10, years but if I count the time we dated then that's a total of 13 years. Sadly in 13 years he hasn't been a good provider... And he can be emotionally and physically abusive to me. He never takes accountability for his actions like whenever he randomly quits his job and then he blames me because I didn't help rewrite his resume. In the last year he has quit... 14 job's and I am tired of putting all my effort into nothing. I'm taken for granted and so not feel loved. He has issues with his mother... And wants me to baby him like a child. I told him I am your wife not your mother. All the times I showed him love... He never cared everything has to be all about him. This is why I'll be leaving once I'm finished with college. I can't leave right now because he holds the car over my head saying it's not mine cause it's in his name... But I'm a co-sign on the contract. I've made the payments so why shouldn't it be mine? So until I can save up for my own car and place I'm stuck for now. If I were you honey... Just end the relationship and find someone who will love and cherish you. You deserve better just like I do. 🥹
Hey Hannah , yea I been with my boyfriend going to be 11 months . So my relationship been very strong towards him. When it came to trust or love in general. It was mainly me pushing him away of my insecurities of , he might not want me cause I’m crazy, is he cheating on me with someone normal. Making my self feel like crap. But he has always been there for me. Always puts a smile on face and makes sure I know I should come first then anyone else then to be someone who I’m not. Sometimes my mind will begin with manic episodes of be delusional of what my boyfriend thinks of me or anyone really. But mainly it is me who needs to realize I am great. Nothing is ok wrong with , it’s ok to cry here and there .
I had the impression that you talked about me. I never had such a similarity of match with another person. And I'm Bipolar II. Thank you so much for video.
This has not really been my experience with my bipolar boyfriend/ex (don't know what we are) too. He has explained some of what he goes through to me and it's a lot of what you mentioned but I don't understand and he won't tell me as much as I need to really know. Different situations but the same ups and downs. He would shut down and always break up with me when he was in a "low" then when he was better or just flat or stable in a normal mood instead of suicidal he would want to talk and maybe work on things. Up and down and taking my emotions all for a ride. And then he says that I change my mind so much but I've known since day 1 he is the one I wanted to be with and that never changed even for a second. Right now we are both in a low because I have been neglecting my mental health for sooooo so long to take care of him and his as much as I possibly could pushing my problems aside. I'm 6 months pregnant now and his ups and downs have gotten so much more extreme I don't know what to do and he is unmedicated and I do not know how to help him or how to work with him anymore.
Clara, I’m so sorry you are in this quagmire while pregnant. You and your baby need nurturing and a safe space, peace and stability. You’re doing something amazing by growing a child... It makes me sad to know that your energy has been drained because you have taken care of him for so long. Your child will have so many needs and has a right to your full attention. I hope your boyfriend/ex steps up and becomes the father he needs to be. But if he doesn’t, you do have it in you to stand strong for your little one. Sending you the love and the light of the Infinite Creator.
Omg I really thought I was alone until I read this. I’m bipolar and me and my fiancé are new parents and we are struggling hard. I recently rejoined the workforce and I’m just so overwhelmed. I really felt like giving up on myself until I read this.
Unless you've been diagnosed with the disorder and lived with it then you have no idea how it feels. You can say you've experienced this or that because you've been in a relationship with someone who has it or grown up with a parent or family member but unless you've actually suffered from the episodes yourself you actually have no idea how that person is feeling!! It's not selfish or whatever a lot of people are saying it is because none of us asked to be diagnosed with it. We didn't ask to suffer from this illness. I absolutely hate the fact that I suffer from this and wish I didn't but it is what it is and I'm not going to feel ashamed about it. And neither should anyone else who suffers from it. It's like saying people with anxiety are just attention seekers. When they're not at all. I'm sick of a lot people assuming that people with bipolar are just monsters! We're actually the complete opposite. We're probably even the most Loyal people. While a lot of you "normal" folk are out cheating on your husband's or wives, us "monsters" are at home staying faithful. 👊
I’ve been with the same girl for almost 3 years. I didn’t know she had suffered from this. It was ok at first but then the fighting got so bad. And the accusations of cheating from her. And I’ve never been a cheater and most certainly would and did not cheat on her. Is this a part of bi polar? The insecurity and accusations? I’m trying to understand it. I love her very much. But I’m human too. And it’s almost like she won’t let love her. I know she doesn’t taker her medication like she should, and that leads to long drawn out fights that have become basically unmanageable at this point.
This is the case for me. I have Bipolar Depression and I’m struggling with this and with my partner. Feels like he’s done and I’m just afraid that my overthinking was true. He’s stopped making his way out for me, stopped texting me so much, and bread crumbs me, gets mad when I express myself, I’ve never trusted and well as soon as I put a wall down he’s giving me a reason to build 3 more.
My stepson is 20 and diagnosed bipolar at a very young age. a few years ago he decided he didnt like his meds and just stopped taking them. I wasnt around at the time, but his mother let him do what he wanted to avoid confrontation (doing drugs, driving without a license etc). I bought a house for us all a year and a half ago (NOT knowing most of this and I was not told he was off meds). He was welcome to come as I thought it was under control. Sad to say, no matter how hard I tried, he hates me because I have the one expectation that he works a little bit because he is bleeding his mom dry financially, trying to control his brain with marijuana, needing gas money, food money. He does literally nothing except sleep, eat all the food in the house and play video games. When he comes out the whole mood shifts because you wonder what he needs now because that is the only reason he even talks to anyone. When confronted, he says he isnt ready to work and he will not take meds. He lashes out at me and is disgustingly mean. He is about 6ft and 200lbs... I cant lie when I say that i am afraid of him. He was institutionalized for a week when he was 10, because he beat up his grandmother... but everyone tells me "he's is not like that anymore." Here is some more back story: I am a lesbian.. so if that bothers you, not much I can do. I have known his mom for 20 years, and we have been in a relationship before he was born. Now we are both 42 and have good jobs, We felt it was time to settle down so everyone could start fresh. She was an alcoholic for much of HIS life due to the stress and the abuse she suffered from his dad, but has been sober for 9 months. He thinks that she owes him the world for being an alcoholic... that he doesnt have to work because she owes him. I asked him if he thought she belonged to him and he said yes and there is nothing I can do about it. I had to ask him to leave when he began verbally abusing me and saying horrific things about me and his own mother. He is perfectly fine doing what he wants... but as soon as someone needs him to do something, he lashes out. It breaks my heart because he is a GOOD person. Ive seen his sweet side so many times and I really really wanted to help, but I have had to be medicated for anxiety just to deal with all of this and I dont even have the support of his mom now because she babies and enables him... She doesnt seem to care that I am actually afraid. I know these are all obvious signs that this needs to be over... but I love her and him with all my heart... And she says she loves me. We have been through so much and I know she is lost on what to do... sadly the brunt of it is falling on me and I dont know if I can take it anymore. Am I wrong for wanting him out of my home? Am I wrong for being afraid? i dont know what I am supposed to do. He went to his grandmothers for a few days but came back and started screaming at me all over again so i asked him to leave again which he did. I dont understand how he could hate me when his father literally abandoned them and hasnt spoken to them in several years... he blames ME for everything when all I did was buy a home and move them out of their trailer so we could have a better life. My heart is broken... completely, but I feel like Im letting them down if I call it quits... FYI - this post is about BiPolar and not my sexuality. This is not an issue with him and never has been. He has known his mom is gay for a long time and he is protective of that. The only reason I am clarifying is so people understand that I am FEMALE dealing with an unmedicated bi polar young man who scares me.
I’m dating a girl right now we are pretty much in love but now she acts like she doesn’t even want me around but still calls me to come over I’m pretty confused she shows me no affection whatsoever anymore
I don’t trust myself anymore to be in a relationship until I learn to cope with the way I think. I’ve destroyed relationships both general friendships and romantic relationships
I actually used to have to much trust. That made me truly learn over time. What your saying is very similar to my experience and It’s amazing to watch your videos. They really help!
As an Empath I stood by someone with Bi-P that only went onto to use me & other women. Totally selfish, totally unaware of others & the damage they inflict. All consumers that need to be avoided else they’ll break you -& sail on to the next woman with a Pity Party
I've lost my dog to this illness. Also every car and even destroyed my house. I gave my dog up because I thought he was in danger by others, turns out he was in danger by me. I still feel bad I love him. But I need to remind myself that it was for the better. I still don't have a car. But I was able to fix my house almost done with all the repairs. I hate that I do extreme choices and regret my choices later. But I'm learning about my bipolar illness more. Hopefully I will have less mania issues. I'm taking meds now, hate that I need to.but this is my life.
It's good to see you Hanna! Thanks for sharing. My friend at work who has bipolar disorder implied that she loves me, but didn't trust me. I thought it was because I'm a different race, but maybe not. She seems jealous of me. Yet sometimes flirts like crazy with others, when the mood his her. It's confusing. Thanks for clueing me in to the love trust relationship. I would be interested in hearing more.
i’m so glad I found your channel😭 I never trust. I recently got diagnosed. it’s been hard. but I wanted to see if someone went through the same things w friendships and relationships and you nailed it
It's not an easy relationship at all. But theirs something so special at the same time. We are not at a good place rn but I'm praying the storm will pass and it will get. Better.
What you experience as "empathy" is experienced by the other as a predatory interference which excludes them as individuals with lives of their own. Since you seem to recognise that people don t like it, you are therefore capable of adapting and learning to grow out of it, instead of blocking any healing by camping behind the bipolar diagnosis. Life is challenging for everyone. Mature individuals do not blame others for their behaviour.
Remember one thing this goes for both parties you should both have to have good hearts remember that and respect each other and respect each other’s family and friends
Hi. I also have bpd ii and I was wondering if anyone else has ever experienced a destructive attitude towards your relationship when getting depressed, or do I just have a self destructive personality? The first thing that comes to mind when I am starting to experience a 'low' is to fight or break up with my partner. I have had quite a lot of relationships that didn't work out and am divorced already at age 28. Is this behavior part of bpd or am I just not made for relationships?
3 years. I've been broken up with three times and was constantly threatened with breakups. The slightest trigger has me painted as the worst and everyone knows. It's been exhausting. Lately it's that she can't love me like she used to and I don't deserve respect...yet we're together forever. I'm not sure which is worse.
Honestly, this sounds more autobiographical than helping the wider audience. I'm sure it speak for some people in inequitable relationships but there's nothing about patterns in loving relationships. It's about one kind of relationship; the kind you've been in. I'm sorry for what you've been through. It sounds so hard and I'm glad your doing better and found a voice in helping people. I've been with my husband for 15 years and he struggles with Bipolar Disorder. I adore him and he's so wonderful I should stop here before I start gushing. Whether or not medication will help him or not I'm here for him. I'm constantly focusing on giving him comfort when he's hurting, space when he needs it and taking care of him when he just can't. He goes from being occasionally upbeat with singing and dancing to me talking him down from destructive and suicidal thoughts. He'll want to push away everyone at his lowest and can't help but sleeping 80% of a day. I'm hoping the new medication will help but I want to understand how this effects/has been effecting our relationship. My feedback is this video was too focused on one dynamic to speak for bipolar in relationships at large. Edit: Correction. Not sure which type of Bipolar.
İt is your own experience..I have read lots of things and life experiences about this disorder..Generally keeping a relationship is so hard ,divorce rates are so high among them..Changing ideas and life styles,cheating on partners,depressive episodes..I am sorry to say your own story can be expectional or you can’t say your real experience.
Sorry to say,but my case is completely different from what is shown in the video. I am dating this person for like 6 months now and there has not been a single month where I did not feel unloved or least bothered. I tried understanding as he has bipolar and even tried to understand this whole concept just because I loved him. But at the end it's just that they love you when they have the mood to and cut off ties whenever they want. And this is kind of ruining my mental health too.
My sons mom would be really nice and playful one minute, then screaming at everyone the next... I’ve never dealt with that and didn’t know how to. She would take the meds but didn’t stay on top of it during the relationship. She began to become violent over the years. Eye hope she’s doing fine, we don’t talk unless it’s about our son
Yes I have bad trust issues and a hard time maintaining close friendships and romantic relationships. I have severe abandonment issues and because I’m so critical and judgmental of my self I always afraid that everyone else is judging and criticizing me or doesn’t really have my best interest at heart. It sucks because I live a lonely life due to this and push people away. 😢
This is so me. Ive been married for 12 years and i have so much distrust for no reason at all. It has been an absolute battle of my mind. I hate it so much
You are so right !! I met this lady a couple years ago , who has a Doctorate Degree in medicine , but is yet to take the exam to become a licensed Dr. . Lately , it seems like if she would like for us to become "more than friends" , but I still haven't told her about me being bipolar (Type 2) !! She keeps telling me that I owe her a "date" , very but even though she is a nice person , sometimes I feel like blocking her . I don't know what to do . Should I tell her about my health condition or should I just say good bye forever ?
Hi! Go on the date! She is obviously interested. Do not take it too seriously but challenge yourself. Sure there is a chance of rejection, but I have been through it. Rejection has to do with the other person, not us. We have to challenge ourselves in these situations. You don't have to reveal your condition on the first date or right in the beginning. It's about getting to know each other. Take the pressure off yourself and go have fun! Good luck! -Hannah
I’m dating someone with bipolar disorder I love her so much and I know she loves me but it gets emotionally draining when she has an emotional swing like she actually won’t remember the fact she had a mood swing I just don’t know what to do
To be honest I don’t believe in love or deserve to be love. So isolating my self. So that way I never want a relationship again. It’s make feel like I am not good enough for someone.
Is it common for people with bipolar disorder to be somewhat obsessive in relationships as well? I feel like people with bipolar disorders give so much in relationships.
I can only agree, my marriage turned into a toxic mess, because though I could emphasize, see my late wife side she could not see mine, her solution was "take your b@#dy Meds" and even proof of taking them helped nothing. I will admit living with me and my condition is not easy (BP 1) but I really tried, I am a people pleaser, but in the end all that was left was anger and mistrust on both sides that helped neither of us. I am wary of relationships now ,maybe most of all because I can no longer trust someone with my feelings Thanks Hannah for your videos they inspirational
My bipolar gf of 2 years broke up with me a month ago. I’m hoping this was just a manic/depressive episode and that she will reach out eventually. However, she ignored my last few texts. I’ve decided to go no contact. But, will this make the situation worse? Should I reach out in another couple months time?
Yes love without trust, finally i see someone that shows how i deal with stuff. I distance myself, i was always the provider, i never trusted anyone, but I always romanticized the flaws, finally i am not alone.
Hi Bianka. I can't tell you why the other person keeps pushing you away. Many people with bipolar disorder have had bad/difficult relationships. Also, during depressive phases, isolation is common. On the other hand, the reasons for pushing you away may not have anything to do with the illness. As for what you can do, if the person doesn't want to be with you, then I would respect that and move on. For me, I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't want to be with me. Thank you. Hannah
I struggled to deal with my ex wife(bipolar) 1.Once she threw me out the house for being half a hour late home after there was an accident on the road(not my fault) 2.She will involve you in her financial impulsive rollacoaster and have a massive go at you of you try and be reasonable and decline on spending for benefit of the household 3.Her massive highs like "Omg let's all go to Disney land next month the kids will love it" ummmmmmm ££££££😂 4.Your point of view is ALWAYS wrong compared to hers and there is only her way of doing something. 5.I could never reason with her if she was upset with me over something that's her fault like 1 time she asked for a lift from supermarket because she missed her bus but I explained I couldn't because I was at work and she divorced me😂😂 6.She could come across as rude one time I gave her a lift from her moms house as a favour because she missed the bus back when we were dating and she didn't even say hello to me she just goes "You made it then"
If this does not apply to you then that's fine. We all have different experiences having bipolar, so one's version of themselves will be different and doesn't invalidate your own experiences.
I just got out of one with a person with both bipolar1 and BPD that I have had a long on and off history with over the span of about 5 years , this one being the most serious , she either was deeply deeply inlove with me or had zero emotion towards me and would push me away and be with somebody else for a small span and then come back saying I was the love of her life she was sorry etc, a total of three times over six months , normally it would be a month and a half of good times then a month and a half of bad times, I know in her own way she loves me but I can’t play this game the rest of my life sadly . She is I medicated and this last episode she quit going to therapy aswell. I will always have a deep love and worry for her but I finally realized she has to find her way herself , as hard as it is it is not my responsibility and I am not her father , still I feel like I failed her , please take care E
I do feel sceptical ....suspicious over nothing and totally isolated from my own family..kids and fiancé ....I don’t want my shitty mood rubbing off on them and feel guilty and confused and super angry but even more depressed and nothing makes me happy...it’s exhausting...my medications so far aren’t working... I’ve called my psychiatrist already because I just don’t know what to do...waiting for him to call back. I’m always shaking..not my meds either...I’m so stressed...everyday life is just so impossible....I haven’t hung out with anyone for years...just a stay at home mom
I have a friend who is bipolar. I do not know everything about his disorder yet, but I really want to learn about it and how I can be there to support this man. He and I share feelings for each other, but he has decided to isolate himself and pull away to protect himself. He has been hurt so much that he doesn't seem to hear me when I say how much I care for him, love him and always want to be there for him. Would you be able to tell me if there is any way to gain his love and trust and potentially work to build something strong and healthy with this man? I am trying to learn ad much as I can about the different types of the disorders so that I can be a good supporter of him. If you have any information about books or other research methods that I can use to learn more I will also be very appreciative of that. Thank you.
Life can be so crazy at time with being bipolar but a relationship oh boy yes that can be good at time but go bad in a minute. But I have Learned how to deal with all this but sometimes it still gets the best of me .. but I just want to said thanks for making this videos they do help me in times .. have a great day
Hi Christine. Thanks for the kind words and I'm glad the videos help. Our of curiosity, what about bipolar disorder makes your relationships troublesome? Hannah
Yes exactly very toxic Im in one now I dont trust Im very jeleous and its just so toxic at times I should leave him but I dont know what to do Im so torn ,hurt, and stuck if its love I don't know. I think it is on my part but not on his part he cheats has cheated and lied about it and gets mad becomes very abusive in everyway towards me ! Its so sad at times ! I have left him in the past but he seems to know how to talk me back into being with him and I fall for it bcuz I think I love him; then again he takes me for granted and its like a cycle he becomes abusive again after few weeks or months this has been going on for almost 6 years.
I’m so so sorry. I know there is not allot a stranger can say and I would never want to over step, but if you haven’t looked up things about the cycle of abuse you should. It’s very very difficult to break, especially on your own. I’m hoping it’s ok to say this, judging by your profile pic I think so. God loves you so so much and you have a purpose beyond this relationship, but he is with you and will make you stronger than you think you are. 🤗 Hang in there. You deserve real love. 💕
Toni, that's horrible! I'm sorry you're going through an abusive relationship. It's difficult to reach out for help, so you're brave for telling your story. On HealthyPlace.com there is a blog that you might like to read called "Verbal Abuse in Relationships." The authors talk about exactly what you've described. You can find it at www.healthyplace.com/blogs/verbalabuseinrelationships ~Kellie (Hannah's on vacation)
HealthyPlace Mental Health I'm not actually with the guy anymore but thank you for caring but I am actually addicted to unhealthy relationships because I feel the need to save these type of men from there kind of ways and I feel at times I'm not worthy to be in better relationships but I'm working on trying to get better so thank you for caring again God be with you
Honestly I think this video should acknowledge that there is a difference between how a person with bipolar *perceives* a partner's emotions and the feelings that their partner *actually* has towards them. In my experience dating someone with bipolar, his (often paranoid) thoughts about what I was feeling always trumped reality.
This comment should be pinned!! THIS is sooooo true!!
I've seen the opposite - extreme empathy deficits in two of the last three people with bipolar I've dated. I'm the one who gave and gave and got little to nothing in return.
Well said.
@@hoodaticus You nailed it. I’m currently pensively waiting on tomorrow, the day she moves out. She’s drinking tonight, in a high manic episode, and has made verbal threats that she’s going to “F me up” & “you don’t know what you’ve got comin boy”…it’s gotten so bad I’ve started recording as much as I can every time I am alone with her. 6 years of being physically (throwing, pushing, grabbing) & emotionally abused thinking that someday things will change. Years of promises to stop self medicating, only to be lied to. I can tell no matter how hard she tries to hide the fact that she’s obviously messed up…and it’s not just alcohol it’s anything minus the extreme drugs. I’m so absolutely worn down. I have a bullet lodged in my back, shrapnel in my chest, an autoimmune disorder, ptsd. This week we got into an argument about the drinking & she lost it on me! I mean unhinged. I’m just waiting to see how she tries to manipulate the narrative of her being some “victim”, when she’s the aggressor. I can’t move without pain, but now breathing hurts. (I won’t get into her most recent episode but…I’m a hurtin’ unit) Tomorrow she leaves…and though I pray for peace I am concerned that she’ll pull the strings once she’s clear of the house. Who do people generally believe, a man or a women? And she’s so good at the manipulation that I expect her to carry through with her threats. Why have I stayed? Three reasons…one, I truly love her when she’s in between cycles & not messed up. Second, the idea that she can change. Lastly, her son who is like my own son who I love so very much. All the nights she’s get bombed and take off…leaving me with her then 10, 11, 12 (now 16 yr old) son…we’ve survived this together. And tomorrow she leaves. I’m on full lockdown. In my room, door locked…I don’t know how much alcohol she has stashed nor how much she’s drank tonight…I pray she doesn’t get drunk. When she does she becomes even more combative & this old body just can’t take it. I hope your situation is better now! Be well…Ian
@@BluesStraightFromTheHarp Prayed for you Ian holy crap! I think you need to run. It's time to love yourself for a change. Sort of like, putting your own mask on before helping others.
I just got out of a relationship with someone with this disorder. The relationship has given me disorders. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. The next time I date I will ask for their mental state history straight up.
Hi! I appreciate your honesty and really sorry to hear the struggle you faced in your previous relationship. As someone with bipolar, I will not deny how hard it can be for another person especially if someone goes untreated. Your mental health is very important as well. Thank you for sharing! -Hannah
I totally agree with you! OMG! I already ask anyone I date now if they have bipolar. It will test your sanity many times per day.
Jason Short I am there with you bro.
Me too, 😭😭😭 just 3 days ago.... now im paranoid. We never fight or argue. When he feels like shit, i give him time and stay quit in his side. But somethings bad happened and he lost his trust to anyone including me. bcoz of a friend of him who take advantage to him and his dog died. He wants to leave Philippines coz he cant stay in a place were people are constantly taking advatage of him. He broke up with me bcoz he cant take me coz he cant afford the expenses. And thats it. Its all over now.
Same here.
Unfortunately, this is not the case in my experience. I appreciate that people with bipolar can express deep emotions. However, they can leave people felling empty, rejected and confused because they do not always love deeply as the speaker says here. They need deeply when manic, a need for adoration, love, compassion and to be heard and this can be perceived as demanding and controlling. They can become insecure when it it's not given, becoming aggressive, spiteful and dismissive. I'm afraid I see the comments about loving too much as an excuse for their need to be adored when they need it. My experience of dealing with people with bipolar is difficult and respectfully so, but they want things on their terms and when their moods take them. They have no real understanding about the impact they have on others, as they are so caught up with themselves and their condition. The people who stay with people with bipolar are the people who love deeply and most often get hurt but accept the hurt as a pre-condition to loving someone with bipolar. I see it as one of the more selfish mental health conditions, besides narcissism (it's not the person's fault). This is totally understandable when someone is trying so hard to regulate themselves, they lose sight of the people around them most often. It isn't that bipolar people love too much, it's that they want love when they want it and feel rejected if they do not get it, not considering that they may have caused damage to their partner in a previous phase or mood they were in the previous days or weeks. I agree that people can take advantage of people with bipolar but in a relationship, the person dating the person with bipolar is far more understanding and loving than the person with the condition. Even the video sounds self-righteous but maybe that's just the condition too. I mean that in the kindest possible way as I find the denial, a broken bridge to change.
This is definitely your personal experience. Be aware that this is not the case with two differing types of bipolar disorder or even individual people. It sounds like you just dealt with someone with narcissistic traits. That, and you glorified people who stay with people with bipolar disorders, while calling people with Bipolar disorders selfish and self righteous in general. That's self righteous.
100%
Same here, my partner has bipolar 1. Very draining as they share their sorrows and when you share they question the story or they used it against you. He push people all the time embarrassed people and himself that's why no friends..selfish..is it his fault? No because most people with bipolar has no self awareness..thats why they were categorized because of symptoms and patterns. It's no one's fault..need treatment..
i’m dealing with this right now… he does not care how he makes me feel and i’m the one who doesnt understand? How can someone be this oblivious to the pain they cause ? Very selfish. I feel so unloved even when he comes back around and is normal again there is a gaping hole in my chest and i dont choose to be hurt, believe me, i’m not the one to cry victim. But at a certain point when do my feelings matter ?
I couldn't agree more, certainly from my experiences. It is well known in psychology that bipolar disorder tends to be associated with a lower degree of empathy. I must say, I do feel a little sorry for them. If they cannot most of the time love themselves, it must be very difficult to truly love others. After all, one might argue that a person can only truly love another when their own cup is full
"I've learned to love without trust." I can totally relate to this.
The worst thing you can do
I can relate, but have to admit that I do have one thing that I have come to trust... that eventually, all my relationships will end.
True story
Can I ask how? I'm in a relationship with someone who says they love me but doesn't trust me and I'm lost on how that's possible
Wow same !
When you mentioned trust…I lost trust for my partner with bipolar because he changed his mind so often. One day he’d say one thing and the next day he would say something completely different. Literally one day he wanted to marry me and the very next day, he “couldn’t be in a relationship”. How do you believe a word someone says after that?
You struggle to trust but my guess is that people struggle to trust you as well…if your symptoms are anything like my boyfriends were.
I just wanted to point that out. Give you a perspective from the “other side” lol
Exactly!! I'm going through the same thing right now. It's so sad. We have to keep praying for the entire world. Nothing is as it seems. To everyone reading this, Jesus loves you.
Right, how can you trust someone who change outlook in everyday and to think my partner that has bipolar has trusts issues with me when I am consistent with everything. My partner play the victim card or the world should evolves him. No self awareness that's why most of them has no friends, everyones drain
@@Musiclover-wr6gw I actually ended up working things out with my partner. I learned more about the disorder and tried to understand what he was going through. When he’s not in an episode, he’s 100% consistent with what he wants and how he feels. I’m trying to separate the true him from the disorder. It’s still hard for sure but I learned what an episode can do with their thought patterns and I’m trying to understand.
My situation is a bit different too because he’s actually always completely trusted me. Never questions anything.
The disorder may be the same but they’re obviously still their own individuals. When he’s stable, he really is a great man. If he had his own trust issues on top of everything else (as the lady in this video describes), that would make things much harder!
Hope you feel better soon! Best wishes.
I'm not surprised, that's the pattern too on and off, over and over again just like mine. They are good people that's why we can't let go of them even with all the chaos because we hope they will change. I hope that will work, keep safe
@@Musiclover-wr6gw Yep exactly.
Honestly though…the way I try to think about it is that if someone had told me before I met him that I could have a relationship that was the best I’d ever had 95% of the time but really hard the other 5%, would I do it. I definitely would have.
It’s been 9 months now and he’s only had the one episode.
All relationships have their challenges.
The people we love always hurt us the most. I feel all we can really do is just try to pick the ones worth suffering for.
Thank you for the well wishes 💕
After she said "we constantly pull and push emotions from them" thats all i needed to hear. My bf has bipolar and refuses to take medication for it, and he constantly is trying to get a reaction out of me and plays with my emotions. Not anymore bc i'm leaving him now
I have been there! Twice!! NEVER EVER AGAIN…
I think I am more affectionate and passionate in a relationship. I always feel like I want intimacy. Not sexual intimacy, but the kind where we can talk to each other about anything. I want to know them inside and out.
Alex Boyles SAME I start off very stand-off ish and not interested to guard falling too fast but once I do fall there is always that feeling that my feelings aren’t reciprocated because they don’t show passion the same way I do especially after the honeymoon phase
Same but like i crave that from like day 3 of knowing them
I always want sexually intimacy, and i keep trying to do nice things for my wife, but she always shoots me down, this affects my self-esteem and she dosnt get it
Ugh why couldn't my guys with bipolar be like you :'(
I find a symptom of bipolar is feeling like you are always giving and giving, but you aren't really giving, you are taking away from the other person. In your mind you feel like that person is not giving as much as you because you are too busy being stuck on those details and sizing shit up to see who is giving more. It seems to be some sort of selfishness. There is nothing charming about bipolar, nor is it beautiful. It's downright repugnant in a relationship.
I'm sorry about your affliction, but you need to always be mindful of it and constantly self-aware, which I understand can be torturous for a bi-polar mind. However, don't start tricking yourself into believing that it is beautiful; that's the sickness talking. It's hard when relationships fail and we like to blame ourselves most times, but telling yourself that you are too kind and too giving and your partner is\was not and you always seem to have the same problem with being too giving etc etc; that's the sickness talking. I have seen it and experienced it intimately for a good number of years with two different women. They had the exact same story. All of their previous relationships failed because they were too giving and didn't get anything back. The first time I didn't see it coming but the second time, when i started to hear the same back story, and soon after finding out the woman was also diagnosed with bi-polar, I ran for the hills. I loved both of those women very much, and a part of me always will. They were beautiful, lovely people, but the bi-polar elements were definitely not. Please be mindful and self-aware. Do not trick yourself into believing that you are a precious, vulnerable flower with your bi-polar; you are very capable of destroying people's lives, and causing great emotional harm. @@shelbyrose91
I agree with you that the intent was not to be manipulative or selfish, and more of a programmed pattern that is difficult to break. Your reply has really made an impression on me. You are right, these were my experiences and my perception of them. I am not perfect myself in any way, and trying to classify my emotional experiences in a toxic setting is wrong. I am sorry for hurting you with my choice of words, and I thank you for seeing into something that I didn't quite consider.@@shelbyrose91
@@shelbyrose91 No one can make you feel a certain way unless you give them that power.
Anthony Lowney thank you!
You don’t have to talk so mean.
One thing I learned about people with bipolar: I do not want a relationship with them again. I understand it is not their choice to be like that but they can be so toxic and destructive that it makes no sense to go all the way to see if you find the self-aware bipolar willing to work on their issues. Never again.
They also love to talk about their feelings and you can listen for hours and try to make them safe and happy but if you’re having a bad day they will scold down on how dare you be sad or negative. What an inconvenience for them that is. It’s incredible for them. Their lack of empathy towards others is part of their disease. It’s constantly about them and their feelings. They rarely ever think about others feelings including their mother. Especially when others are going through health problems. They see it as an inconvenience to them and as a weakness on their part! But they’re surely capable of dumping their feelings on others no problem.
That sounds more like a narcissist than bipolar.
@@Cinemaphile7783 yeah, but there is a HUGE overlap in terms of behaviour and mannerisms between someone with a bipolar disorder and an narcistic disorder.
This isn’t true at all in my situation. He love bombed me and I fell totally and completely in love with him. I knew he had mental illness but I woulda done almost anything to support him. As soon as his manic phase was over he disengaged and kept me at a distance. He said he didn’t reciprocate my love and he was afraid he was gonna hurt me. I would check in on him occasionally to let him know I cared, but never expected a reply. I would ship him special supplements and a light therapy box because I badly wanted to support him, but I knew he wanted space so I didn’t nag or ask questions. I felt that he would eventually tell me on his own when he was ready. He did reply and was kind, but only on questions not related to the relationship. He never initiated texts anymore either.
Then after a few weeks of total indifference on his part I told him how hurt and confused I was. He went very cold and ended it. I wished him well and gave him what he wanted. I told him I hope he finds love. I don’t think negatively of him. Just like someone who had diabetes, he can’t help his illness.
I’m heartbroken, but if he doesn’t want me in his life I’m not gonna beg to be loved. I do wish him well and hope he meets an amazing woman he can trust and share the same kind of love with her that I felt for him. I just wish I didn’t miss him so damn much. If only I knew how to speed up the healing process 😢
This sounds so much like my own story... 😔 right now I'm at the country fixed state... He has gone to the extent of telling me "listen move on if u want me to its not that difficult for me to find someone else" I dono if I shld stand here n prove my love Or just let go😭💔
Wow, same thing just happened to me. I thought we were both madly in love, turns out just I was. Just a few days ago we talked about getting married someday and we made huge plans, then suddenly she pulls way back, does all the classic bipolar symptoms. She admitted she is bipolar just yesterday, next thing I know we're broken up. I'm still trying to process wth happened. Depressed badly. The whole time together wasn't real, it was a lie.
ronster69 😢😢😢 I’m sorry to hear that and I feel your pain. My boyfriend has been out of reach for almost 3 weeks, well he texted me few times at least I knew he is alive. I’m having a very hard time that I wonder does he actually want to break up with me. Very heart breaking I know how bad it is
This sounds familiar but in different ways.Mine is he pull away then come back again.We are In and Out all the time.I just get used to it and learn more .Most of the time he say it but not mean it that's how look at it.
I’m in this EXACT situation right now. He asked for a divorce a few weeks ago. I’m heartbroken and trying to understand what’s happening.
Giving and giving??? Being in a 28 yr relationship with my partner who has BiPolar Disorder, this has soooo not been the case in my experience, more like draining and draining every part of me, only giving at the threat of losing me. The giving parts are wonderful and I’m guessing that’s where the intense empathy come in. Although as wonderful as the high moments in our relationship have been, asI’m typing this I’m thinking those highs stem more from the concern over losing me than his actual feeling for me. It’s a hell of a roller coaster ride, that I probably should have stopped riding long ago. To be clear though he was undiagnosed, so untreated as well for most of our relationship.
Sounds like mine, but not as long. Good point about his highs being more about the fear of losing you than him actually loving you. It looks an awful lot like love though, doesn’t it?
I always thought that was just my personality, nice to know others have the exact same struggles. Being too sensitive is my biggest struggle in life in general. I struggle w the empathy thing, it’s tuff because I also feel like that’s part of my gift/purpose in life, I love helping people. There is a fine line between helping and being taken advantage of that I have to watch. I mean this in general, not just romantic relationships.
I didn’t grow up with the stigma though I didn’t know I was bipolar until 36 yrs old.
I also think I always subconsciously dated people that were more dysfunctional than I was.
S C you sound like an empath, it can feel like a curse but it can be a beautiful blessing
Damn man.. I’m sorry this is gonna be a long thread but I’m hurting.. Me and my girl recently broke up a few days ago. From going to best friends,to lovers, to nothing.. From knowing her to middle school (which we are both 27 years old), to becoming what could’ve been the “one”. Proudly introduced her to my friends and family and coworkers. Calling her mine and being proud of it. The first 5.5 months were the happiest a man had in the world. She was considerate, loving, joyful, and the best person I knew. We had the same interests and it was obvious we were meant for each other.
It seemed as the months passed on, she changed. I would sit there at night thinking of why she was yelling at me and screaming at me for literally just sitting there. 🤷🏽♂️ I was tryna understand her and couldn’t see her point. She was the first girl I ever loved so I went out of my way for not only her, but her daughter (6) too. 😔 I loved that little girl like she was my own and still keeping the gift she made me in my room torments me..
I was there when her grandfather passed away, to all of her family parties and even her own mother and grandma told her, “this one is a good man. Don’t ever let him go.” I was there when she was about to lose her apartment, to her thoughts of suicide.. I hated seeing her like that.. super depressed out of nowhere, and taking it out on me. She was the first girl I loved so it started playing with my mind too thinking that I was the one messing up.
She was the best person I knew, and when her switch flipped, she was this cruel, nasty, mean, ugly person to me. I put up with her verbal abuse and once, physical abuse. I forgave her and loved and wanted to move on and start a family with her. I knew she wanted to too, but her mental issues wouldn’t let her be happy or let me love her properly. We would go on road trips together, then she would get bothered by something so little and ruin some of them. She knew she was a lot to handle, and she thanked me for putting up with her.
She recently started pushing not only me away, but her own friends. She got swallowed up in her overthinking of how she wasn’t something. Calling herself POS, a bad mother, and a bad person all around. I just wish her baby daddy never beat her, she didn’t deserve that trauma. I wish her ex’s never cheated on her, so it was hard for her to trust me. I wish she had a good childhood, but unfortunately her dad wasn’t in the picture and her mother didn’t start actually being close to her until age 24 when her daughter was 3.
She tried so hard to change, but she couldn’t. I never once told her she was bipolar, but I spent nights thinking wtf I was doing wrong and all of a sudden, I thought to myself, “what if she’s bipolar?” Now looking at everything, it makes perfect sense. The substance abuse to “numb” herself so she didn’t have to “feel anything.” Calling her and telling her that wasn’t healthy, so she would just get super defensive and tell me that it’s just my fault.. blaming me over and over. I was the most patient one with her and loved her and her daughter. Her daughter is the thing that kills me the most.. I loved her. 😔
I hope she can realize, that she’s not only hurting people around her, but her own self too. I love her so much and this has ruined our relationship of only 8 months. What could’ve been, what should’ve been is no more because of this mental illness. I hope she can find help one day, and be my friend and find happiness again. She broke it off and she took blame too but she thought it would be better to break it off instead of putting each other through that..
I’m hurting super hard because the first girl I fell in love with, didn’t deserve this. She wanted the happily ever after with me and she couldn’t have it.. I hope she finds help because I don’t want her ruining her relationship with her daughter as she gets older. Sorry I just had to pour my heart out UA-cam. I hope people going through this with their significant other has the best of luck. ❤️
You are able to love and show love. Your story is very powerful and yet I’m sad reading it. No one asks for mental illness; no one wants it. Hopefully she can get some professional help pronto. You are an Angel for loving
*A sad story... but your last word is LUCK ??? I don't believe in luck. I believe in God. And I think the negative things bipolar persons do is because of demon influence. If you can't understand this, you will not understand what is Deliverance.*
hope you’re doing well
You literally just wrote my story, only that my now ex didn't have kids, and our relationship lasted 2 years and she knew she was bipolar. But man it's really hard loving someone with bipolar 😢. I still miss her though and I hope she gets better.
I just got done going through the same 🫠
It's hard to say how much my Bipolar I affected my early relationships because I was an active alcoholic all the way to the age of thirty. So, how much of my behavior was Bipolar cycling, my addict brain, or both? I finally got sober and diagnosed/medicated when I was thirty and I was finally able to separate the two conditions. I would say that the one constant was that the intensity of my emotions would leave me feeling like I wasn't getting back the same from my partners and the mania would leave them feeling confused.
I would say that the biggest help for us is education about this condition and recognizing how it can set us up for heartbreak in relationships (if we aren't mindful about our health.) I have a lot more empathy now for those I was involved with because I recognize that the carnival ride that was my mind was a ride that they were on, as well. If I'm not taking care of myself then they people we are involved with are subjected to our mental extremes with us.
Thanks for that, C.C. We've had several people who were former partners of those with bipolar disorder come on and talk about how difficult life was for them. I think because our needs are central to us, it's easy to forget or not even understand how challenging it can be for friends and loved ones. Keeping in mind that each person is different, there is one constant...there's a limit to how much any person can stand. Hannah
My ex girlfriend was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder a week after we broke up. She had cheated on me and she would push me away even though I treated her right. That same week she went back to ex after dating her for four years. She was financially reckless and couldn’t hold a job for a while. She isn’t a bad person but I just wish she understood how much she hurt me.
i'm sure she does know she hurt you it's not that bipolar makes you not know right from wrong it's just for me at least acting on impulse and emotion i'm so sorry that happened to you
i dont think she cares if you got hurt, I got hurt in my Case I have a daugther with her Its Just Sad ,at least you dont have kids with her
Well bipolar and narcissism and sociopathy live in the same house but in different rooms. At times, they cross paths! So depending on her behavior, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t care if she hurt you. Talking from experience.
Your ex was bipolar from my experience... If she is in a relationship she will really care and share...but once she is out of it...she will never regret or look back.
Is it normal for a person with bipolar to suddenly end everything on a painful note? Like they don't even value they just fine losing you?
I think so my ex did that but she pops back up I think she be having manic episodes when she does it tho
@@jayjohnson8464 It's been one month and she just says hurtful things to me whenever I try to reach her.. I get hurt every time.
Correct..once a bipolar in a relationship they care and share..but when they walk away you are totally stranger to them as if they didn't see you before.
Yes. That's how they are. Nit, their fault but it's an illness that affect others more than them I'm afraid. 10 years wasted for me. Don't make the same mistake. You can't fix it. They will never change. Save yourself the heartache and tears.. Go away, hurt, then look for someone who is always happy to hear your voice, will be there for you, bi's proud of who you are... That's what a proper relationship is. BP people will make you believe thin gruel is a banquet if a relationship
@@kevinharris2805it takes a specific level of self awareness to maintain a living relationship while living with BP. Not all people with bipolar disorder is like this and actions like this will determine the amount of work they’ve done to understand their diagnosis, emotions and decisions that come with it. It also depends on the “stable” partner in the relationship and what they know about the disorder and how to handle it.
I have BP II and was diagnosed at 13 yo. I’m 26 and have put in the work to identify my mistakes in manic episodes and in my depressive states. Ive put in the most amount of effort in most of my relationships but it’s hard for another to handle the disorder, just as it’s hard for me.
People with this illness can change most certainly, just remember that we are just as human with more weight on our shoulders as anyone els in this world is.
My girlfriend is bipolar and sometimes it's very hard to deal with her sudden mood changes. It can go form sweet and romantic and feel good moments to quickly disastrous toxicity in a matter of minutes
That sounds like Border Personality Disorder, which is also found in 20% of people with Bipolar.
How do you manage being with her?
Hey - I think it's awesome you're out here being an advocate.
Having said that - I grew up with a mom who is bipolar and I suspect my dad is narcissistic. I know mental illness is tough (I have some major anxiety issues) but at the end of the day, you have a choice to get help or not, and whether or not your mental illness controls you. I love my mom, but there are some things I cannot forget.
Almost 30 years together , and I love ❤️ her but , can’t do it no more , her sister agrees, our son 14 years old child is slowly giving up on her . Bottom line is if she doesn’t want to get help and medication, it doesn’t matter you say . They have to want to help them selves. God bless anyone living with someone with bi polar disorder.
I have a relationship with a bipolar person. I feel like there's only 2 modes of his views towards me. One, there are phases when he needs me so much, like calling me in the middle of the night, begging me to come over, or suddenly knocking at my door because he's insomniac and in the middle of anxiety. Other times, there are depressive episodes where he doesn't seem to need me at all. Like I was a bother to him. He's refusing help, doesn't text me back, or find reasons to hang up the phone even when I really just want to make sure he's okay. Like, it's one way or the other, there is no middle ground. Does anyone experience the same thing?
Yes, i endure my partner. Its been getting worse recently. She loves me so hard when shes alright but avoids and says extremely mean things when in an episode.
She has told me to not listen to her when she's manic. To hold her tight and not let go, but even still its hard because the person wants nothing to do with you.
What i suggest to you is this...
When the person is in a good mood, you talk to them. Be truthful and honest. Come up with plans on how to cope. Even if your partner doesnt command when in an episode.
Have a soft tone of voice, make eye contact. If the person permits, hold their hand. Speak slowly and softly. Be articulate. Tell them that its okay. Patience is key, if you love them enough patience should come naturally
My husband is exactly the same. Either needs me or doesn't. It's crazy. I live with my mom because he's so unpredictable. Today, he really needed me. Tomorrow, he may hate me who knows.
Huh. My experience is very different, but it's interesting to hear Hannah's POV. I have Bipolar II and I actually tend to be the standoffish one. It takes me a looong time to invest emotions in a relationship. I feel bad because I often feel like my partners are doing more emotionally than I am. Maybe because my emotions can be so volatile, I try to keep people away from them for as long as I can. I'm exactly the same when it comes to trusting. It takes me forever (again) to trust new people.
Hi hun could you please help me ?
Could i be able talk to you about bipolar as the person im dating is bipolar 2 and i dont know what else i could do i love her but she is pushing me away all the time 😔x
Please help me i dont want to lose her 😔
I am goi my through the same as you my friend...
I love her so much and she hurts me so badly when she gets like this...
@@biankapetzold4266 me too 😞. I'm struggling to communicate with her. She recently decided to reduce her meds and it's been hell. The emotions are unpredictable and basically don't know what will trigger her. I'm in constant panic.
Been with a woman who has BiPolar! 11 months.We have had our ups & downs. I've stayed with it.
Today she was involved in an automobile accident. Her vehicle was flipped. Firefighters had to remove the windshield & cut through the top to get to her. She has no exterior/internal injuries, nothing but soreness. I'm 10 minutes from the scene, she calls her brother 3 hours away, & 4 hours away. Her daughter at 6:18.
She text me at 7;14. Over an hour, she doesn't contact me. When I arrive at Hospital, family friend is there???All day long I stay at hospital, take her home, give her light lunch, put her to bed/sleep. When she wakes up, I sit outside shower to make sure she ok. Get her coffee, cup of Ice, put on her ankle brace run & get her prescription. I paid for. Feeling better I say Baby, I should've been in that ambulance or following you to hospital. I'm 10 minutes away!
Why didn't you call me, I didn't think of it!!!
You know how that makes me feel? Her response Was y does this have to be about you?
I'm done!! I'm the last one she called, the man of her life, the man she is engaged to!!??
I should've been the 1st at the hospital.. IM DONE!!
It will be an endless nightmare..I swear
@@maureen9830 YES I'M BEGINNING TO SEE IT CLEARLY!!!
I think in my situation it's the opposite, my gf is Bipolar and I have to give and give and give all the emotional support, to remind her she is loved and wanted.
But when she's going through a mood swing or a break up cycle I don't come into her world, it's like I never existed, and my feelings and my part in the relationship have no bearing.
I'll be dumped in a heartbeat without a tear or a moment of thought on her side.
They dump you in a heartbeat when they have new person to seduce.
Yep, just happened to me. Lasted all of 10 days.
true true
Truth
Lmao turns out mine had a girlfriend that was a 50 year old mom, Were both 22 like wtf
true
Dating with bipolar is not worth it!
Please run for your life!
I'm going through this with my new relationship... we can be all good one week and she is distant and almost nasty the next. I know she means well and I just weather the storm. I just give her space and let her know I am here. She usually comes around and talks. It takes alot... but in the end it is worth it... I do love her... that is that...
Hello Friend,
This is literally what I'm going through with my gf, I'm not 100% sure if she suffers from Bipolar or PMDD.
You should look up PMDD because my gf gets extremely nasty too to the point shell push us to the brink of break up, it's to do with the chemical imbalance during ovulation so she basically likes the opposite of you for a week or so that's where the nasty side comes from.
Its 100% not okay, it's messed up really but it's what PMDD is.
Hope your okay.
My medications keep me from feeling "too much" which really gives my mind a break. There are times I think I should go back to allowing myself to feel all of those emotions again because they seem to add to my artistic ability, and loving others more. But I can't do that. I have a family and if I went off my meds to "feel" more I could possibly end up on a psych unit. And the older I get( I will be 50), it seems my physical and mental self cannot handle that pressure anymore. Especially physically, the crying alone increases all the tension in my body and I ache from it.
Meds are absolutely necessary for me. And I thank God for them.
Even God feels... Sad humanity numbs ourselves just to survive a balance life in this chaotic environment. I worry for you long term medication
.... Eventually. You'll come to be a veggie or you man up and deal with your emotions.... .. gl
I dated someone with bi polar , she up and left me out of the blue 5 weeks into it , the 360 degree mood swings were brutal , she was able to undo 5 weeks of building a relationship in just a few sentences , she’s not all that happy even with leaving me 🤷🏿♂️ I’ve been seeing Dr.Crane every since to address my mental health
I love hearing you speak on this! Mental illness in general makes relationships that much harder...
Thanks for your support, Ryan. Would you mind sharing one way mental illness has affected your relationships? Hannah
I could probably share 100 ways! One way is how trauma made physical intimacy hard for me. I've had many instances of my body not being treated well by others. So when a partner wanted to be close in normal and healthy ways my body resisted and it came off as rude or unloving.
It's really hard on spouse if they say they are totally fine and don't need medication.
To sum up BP, it's simply dating someone who is just highly and exclusively self centred. Sure they'll try to love you and do things they think will indicate they care... Truth is, they will never care for anyone else. Endless self medication, endless their needs, endless gaslighting.
So True all of it. I couldn’t believe this when you said it was part of bipolar.. I thought it was just me.
Amber Todd same, I was like. What 😱 how do you know me so well.
stacey chance I know, I saw your comment too! Surely it’s not a bipolar thing, or is it?
Hi Amber. That's the beautiful thing about social media. It's amazing that you can run across someone who is experiencing what you are and finally you realize... I am not alone. I am not weird or strange. There are others just like me. Thanks, Hannah
HealthyPlace Mental Health Thank you so much for these Videos. I am curious, do you think someone who doesn’t have Bipolar could have similar troubles? Or are you saying it’s more typical for someone with a mood disorder x
@@ambertodd352 having these traits doesn't diagnose you with bi polar. Most people feel these things at different times. There's a lot more to bipolar than what one person can personally express in a 3 minute UA-cam video. I have developed a lot of these traits BECAUSE OF being with a bipolar person.... I am not bi polar.
I have bipolar 2 and I relate to everything you said in this video. I have only just found you today and I am so glad. It is more helpful than you can imagine to hear you talk about this and it makes me feel less alone and more understood somehow so thank you.
Was just diagnosed with polar disorder about four days ago, after being misdiagnosed as just depressed and on anti-depressants for five years which made the mania 1000 times worse, and everything you said is stuff that I dealt with my entire life, but had no idea that I had bipolar disorder. Got put through 40 years of my life in the suck.
my partner is pregnant and has bipolar disorder as well. once we found out about the pregnancy , she became more and more distant each week. I've been doing TONS & TONS of research to see how to go about things and so far I've been handling better than I would of a couple of years ago . She's distancing herself enough to where she wants to just be alone. I've took complete emotion out of this "phase" because I feel it is important to listen to your significant other , especially during a time like pregnancy . I know she loves me to death & wants to be with me , It's just this phase was kind of hard to deal with in the beginning of it . Patients . My patients with her, with us, are definitely becoming stronger with the more knowledge I am picking up each & every couple of days. thank you for this video !
Patience is the correct spelling
as a diagnosed bipolar for the las ten years and after a lot of relationships with similar people the advice i can give you.. there's no cure for this. nor a workaround.. the most you can do is understand and let her open herself to reach a better communication. never forget that she loves you and most of the bad things are fears provoked by the vertigo of that height that is love.. so, just love without conditions. try to understand. and it is hard but, aside all of that dark side.. we have beautiful minds and most are great people. be strong.
Run now
I was diagnosed Manic Bipolar and I could relate with everything you said. My emotions are so intense that even when I see things from a logical point of view, Im completely consumed by it and burst out. Ive lost every relationship to this including every friendship.
This is what i have been made aware of about myself and new relationships. Be it friends or a romantic interest. I like you Hanna, have always wore my heart on my sleeve. As my mom and Grandmother have always put it. I have rose colored glasses on when i met people. I believe in the good and light in them. And want to genuinely give to them from my heart. I am extremely empathetic toward people and animals. I have learned though from my experiences, that there are givers in this world and there are takers. So be a bit cautious don't go putting yourself out there 100% right off the bat. And i finally realized i have worth and my illness doesn't define me. Thank you for your videos and standing up for Mental illness.
My husband of 26 years and year 1 cancer survivor left me and 4 kids for an affair. I was completely blindsided. He was recently diagnosed right before I found out about the affair and the pandemic. He seems like another man's soul is in my husband's body. He seems to have turned off his humanity switch best I can describe. I tried everything to save my Marriage. He never allowed me to walk with him for the mental health part of the journey but he did for the cancer. I am devastated and traumatized myself but need more understanding of the condition and maybe some light on the ease of throwing 26 years away, 4 kids and everything we have built together. I'm so confused
Hi. I’m really sorry for your situation. My girlfriend over 9 years is also bipolar and just did the same thing. Please do not look at her content for actual insight. It’s made from a bipolar skewed view, and only confirms their own skewed way of thinking how the world treats them. For actual insight, read content from official health websites. I also recommend the channel Polar Warrior. There you will find real insight and help you on your journey to heal. There is also a great bipolar forum on reddit with people in your situation. This girl is speaking from the viewpoint of a bipolar persons feelings. Well, they interpret their feelings completely wrong. That’s what people with their diagnose do. A bipolar’s skewed perception of reality is not reality. It’s never about taking responsibility. It’s all about what other people do wrong and not how the diagnosis make them wrongly feel, and thus act. 90% of bipolar marriages fail. The correlation is bipolar, not the partner.
It sounds like your husband is in the mania stage. If you read more into this, you will see that most bipolar people in this stage adapts a lot of traits from narcissistic personality disorder. Also, 1/3 of bipolar people have traits from cluster B personality disorders even in their regular state. They may feel they are empathetic, but they do not understand how they actually treat other people when being sick. What they may think of is being empathetic, may be down right scary for other people. That’s why it’s utmost important that they work on their sickness, take their meds, continue getting help, etc. Bipolar is not a diagnosis to take lightly.
Yes Polar warrior is one of the bests..
Im pretty sure bipolar disorder is not being empathetic/romantic or loving deeply and expressing emotions...this video is confusing
I’ve come to accept that if you have bipolar, it’s probably best you stay alone, and not get involved in too many relationships or any at all. Because in the end, sooner or later, something will burst, and someone will get hurt. It’s a condition I’ve struggled with all my life in maintaining a friendship or relationship. All we can do is learn to find peace in solitude, eat well, sleep well, and remind yourself that sooner or later, this will all be over.
i have never heard such an accurate articulation of my relationship issues!!!!!!! that’s crazy. starting to actually embrace my illness and hearing the community speak my own truths is so uplifting in a way! great video thank you
Hi Gabe! I am so happy you are starting to accept your life with mental illness. Our truth is so important. So happy you are here! Thank you so much! -Hannah
No Trust = no commitment
I’m currently dating someone who’s bipolar and it was a love bomb fest and suddenly they’ve grown very very distant . They’ve stated many times how much this relationship, and I mean to them. So I want to help support and understand what’s going on. Some of my most beloved people are bipolar, my stepdad, multiple friends, but I’m still in the dark.. if anyone has suggestions feel free to comment below! It’d mean a lot :’)
Also lovely video thank you so much!✨❤️
One other thing, you requested information; I suggest life coaching and being open and honest with each other. Thoughts create feelings. Awareness is a huge win as well as taking the time to make decisions. Get clear and be intentional.
Sending you much love and understanding. My one suggestion would be not listen to what they say, but watch what they do. Almost like you’re deaf and unable to read lips...
Watch them for a long time. I’m a sucker for words and often get tripped up by their power to move me.
The very best to you. I hope you turn your own inner voice up louder than your partners. ❤️
In a nutshell just end the relationship and walk away. My mother is bipolar and my husband of the last 9 years is also bipolar. He acted normal at first but... A year after marriage he went through a phase where he job hopped or simply didn't keep one. My mother does the same thing. It's really emotionally draining how selfish they can be. Yes there are people who stay on medication and are very successful who also suffer from bipolar but it's such a double edged sword sometimes. I've been through so much with my spouse yet he never sees how selfish he really has been. I've actually put off having children at the moment cause I'm afraid I'll end up having to do it alone. Once I'm done with college I'm gonna be free from this marriage! Because if I had known he was bipolar then I wouldn't have married him to be honest. I love him... I just can't live with him anymore.
@@heavenforney3830 oh dear, i feel you totally. May I ask how long you have been loving him? I have been with my bf for 4 years and we been bad to each other and later at the end, recently we are agree that my bf has bipolar. After 3 years datimg with him, I am hurt so much. So I killed my love for him to protect my deep emotions and feeling. Now when he got his episodes, he complain how i dont love him and dont take care of him. I still have motherly love for him, but its too much pain i get everyday for being myself and trying to take care of him. I wish he will be free from this disorder one day and I can get as much love I deserved from him.
@@saltedbuttery Hey sweetie, I've been married 10, years but if I count the time we dated then that's a total of 13 years. Sadly in 13 years he hasn't been a good provider... And he can be emotionally and physically abusive to me. He never takes accountability for his actions like whenever he randomly quits his job and then he blames me because I didn't help rewrite his resume. In the last year he has quit... 14 job's and I am tired of putting all my effort into nothing. I'm taken for granted and so not feel loved. He has issues with his mother... And wants me to baby him like a child. I told him I am your wife not your mother. All the times I showed him love... He never cared everything has to be all about him. This is why I'll be leaving once I'm finished with college. I can't leave right now because he holds the car over my head saying it's not mine cause it's in his name... But I'm a co-sign on the contract. I've made the payments so why shouldn't it be mine? So until I can save up for my own car and place I'm stuck for now. If I were you honey... Just end the relationship and find someone who will love and cherish you. You deserve better just like I do. 🥹
Hey Hannah , yea I been with my boyfriend going to be 11 months . So my relationship been very strong towards him. When it came to trust or love in general. It was mainly me pushing him away of my insecurities of , he might not want me cause I’m crazy, is he cheating on me with someone normal. Making my self feel like crap. But he has always been there for me. Always puts a smile on face and makes sure I know I should come first then anyone else then to be someone who I’m not. Sometimes my mind will begin with manic episodes of be delusional of what my boyfriend thinks of me or anyone really. But mainly it is me who needs to realize I am great. Nothing is ok wrong with , it’s ok to cry here and there .
I had the impression that you talked about me. I never had such a similarity of match with another person. And I'm Bipolar II. Thank you so much for video.
You're welcome, Tanja. It's always nice to know that you're not alone. :) Hannah
This has not really been my experience with my bipolar boyfriend/ex (don't know what we are) too. He has explained some of what he goes through to me and it's a lot of what you mentioned but I don't understand and he won't tell me as much as I need to really know. Different situations but the same ups and downs. He would shut down and always break up with me when he was in a "low" then when he was better or just flat or stable in a normal mood instead of suicidal he would want to talk and maybe work on things. Up and down and taking my emotions all for a ride. And then he says that I change my mind so much but I've known since day 1 he is the one I wanted to be with and that never changed even for a second. Right now we are both in a low because I have been neglecting my mental health for sooooo so long to take care of him and his as much as I possibly could pushing my problems aside. I'm 6 months pregnant now and his ups and downs have gotten so much more extreme I don't know what to do and he is unmedicated and I do not know how to help him or how to work with him anymore.
Clara, I’m so sorry you are in this quagmire while pregnant. You and your baby need nurturing and a safe space, peace and stability. You’re doing something amazing by growing a child...
It makes me sad to know that your energy has been drained because you have taken care of him for so long. Your child will have so many needs and has a right to your full attention.
I hope your boyfriend/ex steps up and becomes the father he needs to be. But if he doesn’t, you do have it in you to stand strong for your little one.
Sending you the love and the light of the Infinite Creator.
So are you saying it's ok to cheat and destroy families?
Omg I really thought I was alone until I read this. I’m bipolar and me and my fiancé are new parents and we are struggling hard. I recently rejoined the workforce and I’m just so overwhelmed. I really felt like giving up on myself until I read this.
I hope you didn't give up girl. YOU GOT THIS! Make sure to get enough alone time it will help!
Unless you've been diagnosed with the disorder and lived with it then you have no idea how it feels. You can say you've experienced this or that because you've been in a relationship with someone who has it or grown up with a parent or family member but unless you've actually suffered from the episodes yourself you actually have no idea how that person is feeling!! It's not selfish or whatever a lot of people are saying it is because none of us asked to be diagnosed with it. We didn't ask to suffer from this illness. I absolutely hate the fact that I suffer from this and wish I didn't but it is what it is and I'm not going to feel ashamed about it. And neither should anyone else who suffers from it. It's like saying people with anxiety are just attention seekers. When they're not at all. I'm sick of a lot people assuming that people with bipolar are just monsters! We're actually the complete opposite. We're probably even the most Loyal people. While a lot of you "normal" folk are out cheating on your husband's or wives, us "monsters" are at home staying faithful. 👊
I’ve been with the same girl for almost 3 years. I didn’t know she had suffered from this. It was ok at first but then the fighting got so bad. And the accusations of cheating from her. And I’ve never been a cheater and most certainly would and did not cheat on her. Is this a part of bi polar? The insecurity and accusations? I’m trying to understand it. I love her very much. But I’m human too. And it’s almost like she won’t let love her. I know she doesn’t taker her medication like she should, and that leads to long drawn out fights that have become basically unmanageable at this point.
What to do when you keep rejecting someone with bipolar disorder and he keeps stalking you and annoying you and harassing you for almost 3 years?
This is the case for me. I have Bipolar Depression and I’m struggling with this and with my partner. Feels like he’s done and I’m just afraid that my overthinking was true. He’s stopped making his way out for me, stopped texting me so much, and bread crumbs me, gets mad when I express myself, I’ve never trusted and well as soon as I put a wall down he’s giving me a reason to build 3 more.
My stepson is 20 and diagnosed bipolar at a very young age. a few years ago he decided he didnt like his meds and just stopped taking them. I wasnt around at the time, but his mother let him do what he wanted to avoid confrontation (doing drugs, driving without a license etc). I bought a house for us all a year and a half ago (NOT knowing most of this and I was not told he was off meds). He was welcome to come as I thought it was under control. Sad to say, no matter how hard I tried, he hates me because I have the one expectation that he works a little bit because he is bleeding his mom dry financially, trying to control his brain with marijuana, needing gas money, food money. He does literally nothing except sleep, eat all the food in the house and play video games. When he comes out the whole mood shifts because you wonder what he needs now because that is the only reason he even talks to anyone. When confronted, he says he isnt ready to work and he will not take meds. He lashes out at me and is disgustingly mean. He is about 6ft and 200lbs... I cant lie when I say that i am afraid of him. He was institutionalized for a week when he was 10, because he beat up his grandmother... but everyone tells me "he's is not like that anymore."
Here is some more back story: I am a lesbian.. so if that bothers you, not much I can do. I have known his mom for 20 years, and we have been in a relationship before he was born. Now we are both 42 and have good jobs, We felt it was time to settle down so everyone could start fresh. She was an alcoholic for much of HIS life due to the stress and the abuse she suffered from his dad, but has been sober for 9 months. He thinks that she owes him the world for being an alcoholic... that he doesnt have to work because she owes him. I asked him if he thought she belonged to him and he said yes and there is nothing I can do about it.
I had to ask him to leave when he began verbally abusing me and saying horrific things about me and his own mother. He is perfectly fine doing what he wants... but as soon as someone needs him to do something, he lashes out.
It breaks my heart because he is a GOOD person. Ive seen his sweet side so many times and I really really wanted to help, but I have had to be medicated for anxiety just to deal with all of this and I dont even have the support of his mom now because she babies and enables him... She doesnt seem to care that I am actually afraid.
I know these are all obvious signs that this needs to be over... but I love her and him with all my heart... And she says she loves me. We have been through so much and I know she is lost on what to do... sadly the brunt of it is falling on me and I dont know if I can take it anymore.
Am I wrong for wanting him out of my home? Am I wrong for being afraid? i dont know what I am supposed to do. He went to his grandmothers for a few days but came back and started screaming at me all over again so i asked him to leave again which he did. I dont understand how he could hate me when his father literally abandoned them and hasnt spoken to them in several years... he blames ME for everything when all I did was buy a home and move them out of their trailer so we could have a better life.
My heart is broken... completely, but I feel like Im letting them down if I call it quits...
FYI - this post is about BiPolar and not my sexuality. This is not an issue with him and never has been. He has known his mom is gay for a long time and he is protective of that. The only reason I am clarifying is so people understand that I am FEMALE dealing with an unmedicated bi polar young man who scares me.
I’m dating a girl right now we are pretty much in love but now she acts like she doesn’t even want me around but still calls me to come over I’m pretty confused she shows me no affection whatsoever anymore
I was diagnosed with major depression. My boyfriend has bpd. He refuses to acknowledge his condition. I'm fighting alone and I know it won't last.
My problem is I go in with deep passion for the other person then get bored and start seeing nothing but red flags.
I don’t trust myself anymore to be in a relationship until I learn to cope with the way I think. I’ve destroyed relationships both general friendships and romantic relationships
I actually used to have to much trust. That made me truly learn over time. What your saying is very similar to my experience and It’s amazing to watch your videos. They really help!
As an Empath I stood by someone with Bi-P that only went onto to use me & other women. Totally selfish, totally unaware of others & the damage they inflict. All consumers that need to be avoided else they’ll break you -& sail on to the next woman with a Pity Party
I've lost my dog to this illness. Also every car and even destroyed my house. I gave my dog up because I thought he was in danger by others, turns out he was in danger by me. I still feel bad I love him. But I need to remind myself that it was for the better. I still don't have a car. But I was able to fix my house almost done with all the repairs. I hate that I do extreme choices and regret my choices later. But I'm learning about my bipolar illness more. Hopefully I will have less mania issues. I'm taking meds now, hate that I need to.but this is my life.
It's good to see you Hanna! Thanks for sharing. My friend at work who has bipolar disorder implied that she loves me, but didn't trust me. I thought it was because I'm a different race, but maybe not. She seems jealous of me. Yet sometimes flirts like crazy with others, when the mood his her. It's confusing. Thanks for clueing me in to the love trust relationship. I would be interested in hearing more.
i’m so glad I found your channel😭 I never trust. I recently got diagnosed. it’s been hard. but I wanted to see if someone went through the same things w friendships and relationships and you nailed it
It's not an easy relationship at all. But theirs something so special at the same time. We are not at a good place rn but I'm praying the storm will pass and it will get. Better.
Praying for you 2
What you experience as "empathy" is experienced by the other as a predatory interference which excludes them as individuals with lives of their own.
Since you seem to recognise that people don t like it, you are therefore capable of adapting and learning to grow out of it, instead of blocking any healing by camping behind the bipolar diagnosis. Life is challenging for everyone. Mature individuals do not blame others for their behaviour.
I am an old bipolar one person and you seem to be a nice young lady. I like your talks. Best of luck to you!
Remember one thing this goes for both parties you should both have to have good hearts remember that and respect each other and respect each other’s family and friends
Hi. I also have bpd ii and I was wondering if anyone else has ever experienced a destructive attitude towards your relationship when getting depressed, or do I just have a self destructive personality? The first thing that comes to mind when I am starting to experience a 'low' is to fight or break up with my partner. I have had quite a lot of relationships that didn't work out and am divorced already at age 28. Is this behavior part of bpd or am I just not made for relationships?
3 years. I've been broken up with three times and was constantly threatened with breakups. The slightest trigger has me painted as the worst and everyone knows. It's been exhausting. Lately it's that she can't love me like she used to and I don't deserve respect...yet we're together forever. I'm not sure which is worse.
In my experience with BPD two I do give a lot and love a lot without trusting the other person I’m with
Honestly, this sounds more autobiographical than helping the wider audience. I'm sure it speak for some people in inequitable relationships but there's nothing about patterns in loving relationships. It's about one kind of relationship; the kind you've been in. I'm sorry for what you've been through. It sounds so hard and I'm glad your doing better and found a voice in helping people.
I've been with my husband for 15 years and he struggles with Bipolar Disorder. I adore him and he's so wonderful I should stop here before I start gushing. Whether or not medication will help him or not I'm here for him. I'm constantly focusing on giving him comfort when he's hurting, space when he needs it and taking care of him when he just can't. He goes from being occasionally upbeat with singing and dancing to me talking him down from destructive and suicidal thoughts. He'll want to push away everyone at his lowest and can't help but sleeping 80% of a day.
I'm hoping the new medication will help but I want to understand how this effects/has been effecting our relationship.
My feedback is this video was too focused on one dynamic to speak for bipolar in relationships at large.
Edit: Correction. Not sure which type of Bipolar.
İt is your own experience..I have read lots of things and life experiences about this disorder..Generally keeping a relationship is so hard ,divorce rates are so high among them..Changing ideas and life styles,cheating on partners,depressive episodes..I am sorry to say your own story can be expectional or you can’t say your real experience.
They are diagnosed because of the patterns in relationships..either partner, family or friends...patterns..that's it
Sorry to say,but my case is completely different from what is shown in the video. I am dating this person for like 6 months now and there has not been a single month where I did not feel unloved or least bothered. I tried understanding as he has bipolar and even tried to understand this whole concept just because I loved him. But at the end it's just that they love you when they have the mood to and cut off ties whenever they want. And this is kind of ruining my mental health too.
My sons mom would be really nice and playful one minute, then screaming at everyone the next... I’ve never dealt with that and didn’t know how to. She would take the meds but didn’t stay on top of it during the relationship. She began to become violent over the years. Eye hope she’s doing fine, we don’t talk unless it’s about our son
Yes I have bad trust issues and a hard time maintaining close friendships and romantic relationships. I have severe abandonment issues and because I’m so critical and judgmental of my self I always afraid that everyone else is judging and criticizing me or doesn’t really have my best interest at heart. It sucks because I live a lonely life due to this and push people away. 😢
This is so me. Ive been married for 12 years and i have so much distrust for no reason at all. It has been an absolute battle of my mind. I hate it so much
You are so right !! I met this lady a couple years ago , who has a Doctorate Degree in medicine , but is yet to take the exam to become a licensed Dr. . Lately , it seems like if she would like for us to become "more than friends" , but I still haven't told her about me being bipolar (Type 2) !! She keeps telling me that I owe her a "date" , very but even though she is a nice person , sometimes I feel like blocking her . I don't know what to do . Should I tell her about my health condition or should I just say good bye forever ?
Hi! Go on the date! She is obviously interested. Do not take it too seriously but challenge yourself. Sure there is a chance of rejection, but I have been through it. Rejection has to do with the other person, not us. We have to challenge ourselves in these situations. You don't have to reveal your condition on the first date or right in the beginning. It's about getting to know each other. Take the pressure off yourself and go have fun! Good luck! -Hannah
I’m dating someone with bipolar disorder I love her so much and I know she loves me but it gets emotionally draining when she has an emotional swing like she actually won’t remember the fact she had a mood swing I just don’t know what to do
Thanks for the affirmation of me, a loner, we all need love and support.
To be honest I don’t believe in love or deserve to be love. So isolating my self. So that way I never want a relationship again. It’s make feel like I am not good enough for someone.
Is it common for people with bipolar disorder to be somewhat obsessive in relationships as well? I feel like people with bipolar disorders give so much in relationships.
I tried the whole trusting thing which ends in more pain, but I blame my ignorance on my bpd.
I can only agree, my marriage turned into a toxic mess, because though I could emphasize, see my late wife side she could not see mine, her solution was "take your b@#dy Meds" and even proof of taking them helped nothing.
I will admit living with me and my condition is not easy (BP 1) but I really tried, I am a people pleaser, but in the end all that was left was anger and mistrust on both sides that helped neither of us.
I am wary of relationships now ,maybe most of all because I can no longer trust someone with my feelings
Thanks Hannah for your videos they inspirational
I have never met a bipolar person that is empathetic, just saying.
I understand completely. I definitely give more than receiving from partner
You nailed it Hannah. Growing up I didn't understand why I felt these things?!
My bipolar gf of 2 years broke up with me a month ago. I’m hoping this was just a manic/depressive episode and that she will reach out eventually. However, she ignored my last few texts. I’ve decided to go no contact. But, will this make the situation worse? Should I reach out in another couple months time?
First comment!!! Keep it up!
What? Then why i gave her the most and then she leave me for another? Romantic? Destroying people lives is not romantic. It's somehow evil
Honestly this comment made me laugh at myself , I get ya
It is always good to note there are different types of bi polar and Type 1 and 2 are different people.
Yes love without trust, finally i see someone that shows how i deal with stuff. I distance myself, i was always the provider, i never trusted anyone, but I always romanticized the flaws, finally i am not alone.
Hi would you b able help me please im dating somone with bipola disorder n they keep pushing me away what can i do ?
Hi Bianka. I can't tell you why the other person keeps pushing you away. Many people with bipolar disorder have had bad/difficult relationships. Also, during depressive phases, isolation is common. On the other hand, the reasons for pushing you away may not have anything to do with the illness. As for what you can do, if the person doesn't want to be with you, then I would respect that and move on. For me, I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't want to be with me. Thank you. Hannah
Thank you for your respond x
I struggled to deal with my ex wife(bipolar)
1.Once she threw me out the house for being half a hour late home after there was an accident on the road(not my fault)
2.She will involve you in her financial impulsive rollacoaster and have a massive go at you of you try and be reasonable and decline on spending for benefit of the household
3.Her massive highs like "Omg let's all go to Disney land next month the kids will love it" ummmmmmm ££££££😂
4.Your point of view is ALWAYS wrong compared to hers and there is only her way of doing something.
5.I could never reason with her if she was upset with me over something that's her fault like 1 time she asked for a lift from supermarket because she missed her bus but I explained I couldn't because I was at work and she divorced me😂😂
6.She could come across as rude one time I gave her a lift from her moms house as a favour because she missed the bus back when we were dating and she didn't even say hello to me she just goes "You made it then"
I can tell this is real cuz it's what I've been experiencing 🤣😹
If this does not apply to you then that's fine. We all have different experiences having bipolar, so one's version of themselves will be different and doesn't invalidate your own experiences.
I just got out of one with a person with both bipolar1 and BPD that I have had a long on and off history with over the span of about 5 years , this one being the most serious , she either was deeply deeply inlove with me or had zero emotion towards me and would push me away and be with somebody else for a small span and then come back saying I was the love of her life she was sorry etc, a total of three times over six months , normally it would be a month and a half of good times then a month and a half of bad times, I know in her own way she loves me but I can’t play this game the rest of my life sadly . She is I medicated and this last episode she quit going to therapy aswell. I will always have a deep love and worry for her but I finally realized she has to find her way herself , as hard as it is it is not my responsibility and I am not her father , still I feel like I failed her , please take care E
Unmedicated*
Do people with bipolar tend to lie? In order to make themselves look better and be loved?
And is it often comorbid with Avoidant Personality disorder?
yes.. my bp spouse lies constantly
I do feel sceptical ....suspicious over nothing and totally isolated from my own family..kids and fiancé ....I don’t want my shitty mood rubbing off on them and feel guilty and confused and super angry but even more depressed and nothing makes me happy...it’s exhausting...my medications so far aren’t working... I’ve called my psychiatrist already because I just don’t know what to do...waiting for him to call back. I’m always shaking..not my meds either...I’m so stressed...everyday life is just so impossible....I haven’t hung out with anyone for years...just a stay at home mom
This was suppose to be added to another video I think but I’m watching a bunch of your videos ....so idk lol
I have a friend who is bipolar. I do not know everything about his disorder yet, but I really want to learn about it and how I can be there to support this man. He and I share feelings for each other, but he has decided to isolate himself and pull away to protect himself. He has been hurt so much that he doesn't seem to hear me when I say how much I care for him, love him and always want to be there for him. Would you be able to tell me if there is any way to gain his love and trust and potentially work to build something strong and healthy with this man? I am trying to learn ad much as I can about the different types of the disorders so that I can be a good supporter of him. If you have any information about books or other research methods that I can use to learn more I will also be very appreciative of that. Thank you.
do you have your own chanel?your thoughts are really helps me!
Listen to it with 1.5x speed... Much better
Life can be so crazy at time with being bipolar but a relationship oh boy yes that can be good at time but go bad in a minute. But I have Learned how to deal with all this but sometimes it still gets the best of me .. but I just want to said thanks for making this videos they do help me in times .. have a great day
Hi Christine. Thanks for the kind words and I'm glad the videos help. Our of curiosity, what about bipolar disorder makes your relationships troublesome? Hannah
If you don't know someone's bipolar and you and you in a relationship with them you would think you crazy
Yes exactly very toxic Im in one now I dont trust Im very jeleous and its just so toxic at times I should leave him but I dont know what to do Im so torn ,hurt, and stuck if its love I don't know. I think it is on my part but not on his part he cheats has cheated and lied about it and gets mad becomes very abusive in everyway towards me ! Its so sad at times ! I have left him in the past but he seems to know how to talk me back into being with him and I fall for it bcuz I think I love him; then again he takes me for granted and its like a cycle he becomes abusive again after few weeks or months this has been going on for almost 6 years.
Toni my heart goes out to you I will keep you in my prayers because I understand I have constantly put myself in these kind of situations
I’m so so sorry. I know there is not allot a stranger can say and I would never want to over step, but if you haven’t looked up things about the cycle of abuse you should. It’s very very difficult to break, especially on your own. I’m hoping it’s ok to say this, judging by your profile pic I think so. God loves you so so much and you have a purpose beyond this relationship, but he is with you and will make you stronger than you think you are. 🤗 Hang in there. You deserve real love. 💕
stacey chance thank you for caring God bless you too and God loves you too
Toni, that's horrible! I'm sorry you're going through an abusive relationship. It's difficult to reach out for help, so you're brave for telling your story. On HealthyPlace.com there is a blog that you might like to read called "Verbal Abuse in Relationships." The authors talk about exactly what you've described. You can find it at www.healthyplace.com/blogs/verbalabuseinrelationships ~Kellie (Hannah's on vacation)
HealthyPlace Mental Health I'm not actually with the guy anymore but thank you for caring but I am actually addicted to unhealthy relationships because I feel the need to save these type of men from there kind of ways and I feel at times I'm not worthy to be in better relationships but I'm working on trying to get better so thank you for caring again God be with you