A Crap Guide to Final Fantasy XIV - Melee DPS
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- Опубліковано 24 сер 2024
- catch hands gently like hamburger
Spooky Slice FULL SONG: • Spooky Slice - FFXIV P...
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This whole video was just so JoCat can show us his samurai duel animation and sing his spooky song in the same video.
Absolutely.
And show off his alliteration skills.
Can you really blame him? Ok, yes you can. But can you hold it against him? Probably also yes...
JoCat's living his best life
Not gonna lie:
I want to hear a full version.
You do realize now we need a full version of "Spooky Slice."
i don't remember the name it parodies, and it's annoying
edit: it's monster mash
Agreed! Need spooky slice full version badly xD
YES. YES WE DO.
Yes!
He did
"Spooky Slice!" is going into every Reaper skill macro. Blame Jocat...
I am gonna be doing the spoopy slice!
Reaper LB spooky slice macro - it will be cringe, glorious, and worth it.
took approx. 0.0001 second from the moment he said it
I blame you. I didn't think to do that until just now. And I'm going to. Lol
Explain 👀
I love how the overall joke for the Crap Guide to FF14 series is that they're all actually really good guides.
I mean that goes all the way back through the Monster Hunter and D&D guides, too.
That's literally all his guides.
Slight correction: if a Monk has a purple circle and a white circle, it doesn't matter what their next Perfect Balance combo is, it's guaranteed big boi damage
I never know what to do for that last one, so I just do the dragon kick/bootshine/dragon kick thing you do for the first one unless I need to refresh disciplined fist
@@pokemonpasta You can also use it to cheat a refresh of your DoT, otherwise yeah just progressing Bootshine/DK is optimal.
If you want to do max fisting capability: Have both purple and white balls, pop riddle of fire and brotherhood, make sure you have leaden fist and disciplined fist buffs from dragon kick and twin snakes respectively, pop perfect balance, and shove that fist where the sun don't shine with bootshine -> dragon kick -> bootshine -> phantom rush (tornado kick pre-90). Guaranteed crit for 310 potency -> 320 -> 310 crit -> 1,150 (850 pre-90)
@@MiaTyrnfae I usually use a Bootshine/DK as well, also refreshing the Twin Snakes buff if needed (if it'll drop off during my big burst)
And then there's the backflip kick of shame for when you do 2 different forms with no nadis, celestial revolution.
Okay, I thought Jo had pulled out all the stops when he animated an entire Samurai Showdown match just to make a punchline, but then he dropped _Spooky Slice_ on us and won some kind of argument against the dark lords of the YubTub algorithm.
12/10 Dated but Timeless music reference.
That was more Bushido Blade than Samurai Showdown.
Loved it
Can we get some kind of like... Halloween drop for this? I could listen to this all day haha.
Every bit of effort you bit into this video was worth it
Bien
There's a part where he's explaining positionals and shows a split screen of the same attack with and without the positional bonus. It's like a 2-second clip that had to have taken at least 20 minutes to make on its own. The effort is astronomical.
i like it
I think we all need a full version of "The Spooky Slice" now
Yep.
Definitely.
Absolutely
Positively
100%
Your commitment to alliterations is to be commended Jocat.
Rivals that of Rusty
Alternatively, the administrators ability of alliteration is apropo for the application and appreciated, also awesome.
@@rexamillion8446 "an adminstrator's" and "an application"? :)
YO 😹 ua-cam.com/video/VgZ3IkhSrNE/v-deo.html
JoCrap is a bard after all
I need the Spooky Slice to be played on repeat directly to my brain for the next year
Can we get a full version of the Spooky Slice while we're at it?
@@alanepithet2931 Yes, please!
It can go in the rotation with "What Do You Do (When The Party's Full Health)?".
@@alanepithet2931 Seconded!
@@DJayHGaming I desperately want a full version of that one. XD
As a Reaper, I can confirm that doing the spooky slice is the best feeling.
As a fellow reaper, I concur.
Should I buy this game ?
@@olakpasa6486 if you’re interested, try the free trial first. It covers a large amount of content (the original release and the first expansion) before you need to spend anything on a subscription.
Reaper doesn't so much as have a 'burst phase' as 'slowly ramping up in damage as your go on' but popping Enshroud then capping it off with Communio is an incredible feeling
I thought Reaper would be lame. I was wrong.
As a nin main, I never realised that only the final mudra is all that matters. For a 'crap' guide, this was incredibly helpful.
SKILL FLOOR POLICE INBOUND!!!
@@tigerwarrior1787 Naruto HAND Signs aggressively to escape
Hint for Monks: You can still Meditate when your enemies are out of reach, which lets you get your Free Damage Button back, so it's worth doing for a bigger burst when you reengage
ABSOLUTELY GLORIOUS, THANK YOU!
I absolutely do! I try to make sure I always pressez ALL teh buttons! 👊🏿
and remember: IT'S FREE DMG
problem is, when my GCD is back up after a six-sided star and im not next to the boss, im too busy wiping the tears from my eyes to press the meditate button =(
Ah I was going to say this. I am glad someone did.
"Don't lie to me, I know the majority of my audience has depression" 7:13
This absolutely killed me lol!
I am so in this picture.
He's right but he shouldn't say it
Just like my depression!
It's funny because it's true!!
Like, it finished the job?
Love that tidbit at the end where u can see he's adding to his collection of job type symbols. Shield for Tank, Cane for Healers, and now a spear for melee DPS
Well he's been doing it since he started the Crap Guide series, so it's become a tradition.
@@gryphonstern Yeah, objectively one of the best is for his D&D Crap Guides solely because the figures themselves slowly tell a bit of a story as it goes on! It isn't deep, nor wild, but its cute all the same.
Plus its just more JoCat drawing, which is always a plus.
Monster Hunter was all of the weapons (with the Longsword getting even longer over time), DnD was minis of each class.
Makes me wonder if he is going to use the red mage sword for magic DPS. Or the bow for physical ranged.
The best place around "boss boob" for melee is to stand around what could be described as "underboob" which is the spot where sideboob crosses over to rearboob. You can hop between the two spots with minimal movement while getting the most satisfaction out from the positionals.
I know nothing about FFXIV but I enjoy hearing the puppet man scream about stuff.
SAME!!
That is a product of Monster Hunter, the Wiggler. Check his "Crap Guides" for that game, and you'll see his character wearing that piece of head gear.
Also same! 14 might be the only mmo I have any interest in playing if I feel up to it one day
Same
@@ArcNine9Angel Did you know you can make a free account and play all of the base game and the first expansion (Heavensward) all for free?
I know they're "Crap guides" but they genuinely do have some good info, and they're hilariously entertaining.
Edutainment, if you will.
It feels like a hold over from the Monster Hunter ones, which weren't bad, but overhyped the S&S.
Its a 'Crap' guide not because they are crap his character is named Crap XD
@@isaachepworth7860 I do think that was mostly a joke. It may be his favorite weapon but I think he exaggerated it for the sake of the joke.
Funfact each episode of every crap guide he does he adds a new thing depending on the class / whatever he just talking about if you look at 1:55 there with be just a staff (healer) and a shield ( tank ) but if you look at the end ( I’m not providing a time stamp ) then it will also ahve a melee weapon spear thing
“Once youve kissed enough boys to fill up your fashion bar” made me laugh so hard. Also, I love the Spooky Slice. Amazing video.
Objection: I have kissed SO many boys, but my DPS is still shite and I'm still maining WHM. Please advise.
@@DaniRadriendil Channel your inherent WHM rage at people who stand in aoe's into Reaper. The catharsis is excellent.
@@DaniRadriendilbecome a reaper to collect more blood.
It has now become official, ANYTIME Estinien shows up, I always scream "ESTINIEEEEEEN! He's the Azure Dragoon!" Thank you for that!!! Also, when you get a chance, I hope you do more of these crap guides to FFXIV, they’re so helpful for a nooblet like me!
Playing through Heavensward must have been an experience 😂
@@draochvar9646 I got a sore throat after screaming so much but it was worth it!!
"you do the spooky slice" is something I, literally, couldn't imagine i needed.
I can see my character popping out an orchestrion player and popping that on while going through any duty. Heck even just afking in Limsa.
"Don't lie, I know most of my audience has depression." I'm literally watching this the day you released it, and the past two days have been in my annual 'Tear apart the room and put it together again' phase. You didn't have to call me out so specifically LOL. But t was 100% correct. A++! Love the content!
Fuck me too I can finally see my desk again
I really need to clean up my room 😩
I literally stomped cleaning my room to watch this
My room got flooded yesterday when the sump pump stopped working. I have no carpet and everything is piled in the center of my room.
Dude made it PERSONAL.
Its official, this man’s “Crap guides” has gotten me into every game he has covered in this series (Monster hunter, DnD and now Final Fantasy 14). And it is to these guides that I am in his deat as they have helped me become a better player in those games.
That duel animation was incredible. I also really liked the "Skill Floor Police" sequence as well.
"When the tank decides to get in their cardio"
Yeah, felt that as a Healer. Loved the guy who wore paper to that dungeon run.
I love Cardio Tanks! I did a run today where I, as the healer, kept running and was tanking the 2nd pack. The tank turned off the tank stance, but Holy medica 2, holy, regen and benison, and then holy spam and dps aoe … he turned his tank stance back on before the boss. I’m a cardio healer for sure!
Only a few words to put the fear of god into any healer, myself included, Il Mheg, a w2w pull tank, the Palace pack pull with the pony.... The only word I put in chat every time I get to that point is "MORE!", cardio healing is so much fun.
If you're a healer and you're not keeping up with the tank, it's your fault, not the tank's =P
@@macurvello Oh, I kept up, he just had paper on for armor and didn't know, or ask, where he was going. He didn't use chat at all or respond to any of us, and he died when mobs larger than 5 sneezed on him. The DPS (both of them) wound up tanking and doing a better job. But, I guess that's the fault of the rest of the group then, and not the tank? Trust me. This guy sticks out in my memory for a reason.
Never miss leg day! As a lala it's super important lol
As a reaper main I will now have this song stuck on my head everytime I'm fighting
I love it
Not my main, but play it often. This will be stuck in my head every time I play it as well lol. Just like I can't do weapons without thinking of big fat tacos.
I'm going to finally resub just so I can main reaper now.
Same man that shit went hard
Hard agree. I need a solid loop of this song XD
I was WONDERING when the Estinien button would show up! And there it is. Your crap guides never disappoint - might actually roll a melee DPS when I get back into FFXIV...
How dare you misspell ESTINIENNNNN! (he's the Azure Dragoon!)'s name!
I love how Jocat keeps adding something to the title screen… Harch’s shield, the Conjurer Crook, and now the Dragoon Lance. Very fun!
LOOK, had I known role playing as a garden gnome on your lawn would've ended up here, I would 100% do it again
It always trips me out hearing you’re name on videos like this. Every single time I’m like “holy crap I know that guy! I was in an FC with him years ago.” Pretty sure you’re still on my friends like too lol. Minwu/Synnove (which ever name you remember me as) out.
I have a feeling this game requires you to press buttons and press them quickly
nah just play healer. instead of pressing buttons you're just trying to keep everyone that refuses to get out of the aoe's alive
nah, only for like... Gun breaker, Monk and machinist oh yea and magical machinist (summoner). the rest are quite tame
Just a couple, some of the time.
Aaaaand in order!
@@zackarieneifert7014 You're still pressing button #1, Glare/Broil/Malefic/Dosis
We need a full version of Spooky Slice. Also amazing as always. Thank you so much for making these Jocat. They are awesome!
The song at the end was honestly pretty catchy:))
Also I love how he adds a new weapon/shield for each episode theme at the end card
Well Jocat is having fun in that intro
I legit slapped it together in like an hour
@@JoCat It was an hour spent well.
@@JoCat very well spent lol
5:12 I SAW WHAT YOU DID THERE JOCAT!!!
Great video, Jocat! I love how accurately you actually managed to condense and explain the gameplay of each of the represented jobs, all while keeping it entertaining with the heavy sprinkling of top-quality jokes we've come to expect from ya! ^^
Okay this is great and all but I'm gonna need a full three minute version of the Spooky Slice.
Agreed, The Spooky Slice is going to be the next big song of the decade, I can feel it in my bones!
My inner reaper also wants a 3 min version ngl
Why make a 3 minute version when it can be of 10 hours huh? huh?
Agreed.
If Soken will hear it, he will do it.
The bard energy Jocat has is just out of this word.
A part of me just wonders what sort of Broadway style piece he and Sam Rigel could do together. XD XD XD
I don't think the Multiverse is ready for that.
@@YukoHoon I don't think the mulitiverse's multiverse is ready.
I need this now. No one would be prepared for it, but I need it
The Spooky Slice fucking SENT me.
Thank you so much for yet more quality content 🙏
Still one of the most amazing characters and series I’ve ever seen. JoCat is an amazing animator and editor, and JoCrap is just peak comedy.
6:28 The skill floor police and frantically signing to switch with a log are the best parts of this great video
CHEESE IT!
@nieooj gotoy and now we got one.
"A dot that lasts longer than it takes to clean your room. Don't lie to me; I know a majority of my audience has depression"
what the fuck man why did you have to come for us all like that
Because fixing problems requires admitting they exist. The man clearly wants better for folks.
And those of us who don't have depression have ADHD instead and ALSO take forever to clean our rooms. XD
Raise your hand if you feel personally victimized by Jocat
@@AegixDrakan jokes on you, I have both....
My room is a mess and is constantly being rearranged in a way that makes it MORE of a mess.
@@cici39177 I kinda wish he would and I don't even swing that way.
@JoCat didn't know you could top the 3 role crap guides... but here we are! tnx!
one thing tho: the final attack the monks get when having both light and dark and doing the combo a 3rd time regardless of what stances you use is "Phantom Rush". the one where your char quickly teleports in from all angles on the target, assaulting them from all sides.
the kick in the face is done when you do two of the same and a different 3rd stance, and gets you a "purple token" (IF you don't have both already, otherwise it's also a Phantom Rush)
Spooky Slice full version. WE DEMAND IT!
"each one is a different flavour of anime and edge"
Never in my life have I been more offended by something I 100% agree with.
So which flavor of anime is Dragoon?
@@CdrChaos Dark broody bois. You'd think it's Reapers but Reapers actually have the will to live and are too busy emulating their Shinigami style
@@lanteanboy The Dark Knights are the broody boys.
I didn’t need a Monster Mash cover but I absolutely love it and want more.
Gonna miss you, Jo. Hope you are able to return eventually, will cheer you on from here if you don't.
You can tell it took JoCat a while to do this because he references that brief period of 6.0-6.05 where Reaper was just best DPS for all categories
Okay, but seriously we have to talk about how good JoCat's singing voice is!!
Well he is a level 20 Bard.
@@BWA85 that explains the power when he says "Always be casting"
He’s the Bard I aspire to be.
"Don't lie to me, I know most of my audience has depression." Okay, first of all, how dare.
Second of all, I'd love a full version of the Spooky Slice.
Same!
Gonna second this comment, yeah. Why is it every time Jocat breaks into song in these it is always amazing???
How dare, indeed.
YES ! Thank you JoCat, finally someone telling the easy secret of ninja's ninjutsu to the rest of the world !
And another excellent guide to giving healers a heart attack, good work :3
I missed these videos more then I knew. 😂 The writing on this alone is epic! Top notch realisation and editing. Fantastic animations. Thank you. ❤️
Tip for Dragoons: Though it is rare always look underneath where the boss likes to hangout. Are they floating above nothing? Yes? Don't use moves that involving jumping the boss. You'll be enjoying an impromptu skydiving session without a parachute. If you would like an example, the Ozma fight from the Weeping City of Mhach is probably the best example.
that goes for all the tanks and rdms as well.
And monk, and sage, and summoner
HERESY!!
Basically everyone with a gap closer.
What are gap closers, you ask?
It's a move that let's you approach the enemy faster than a JoJo slapfest when they try to get some space to breathe
Except that the hitbox is big enough that it reaches the platform.
Gap closers and such move you to the part of the ring that's closest to you, otherwise people would die all the time with bosses such as Ozma.
Jo, I hope you know I blame you for me sitting here downloading FFXIV for the past two days on my new computer lmao. Thanks for all the videos and laughs!
When you get to Heavensward it's peak, though i also really liked the first story until 50... Have a great day
Took you two days to download? At that point I'm not sure FFXIV is worth it with that connection!
@@Kromosios FFXIV is always worth it.
@@Kromosios correction, IS STILL taking a day to download. Or so the estimated time says, downloads take forever on the current connection but when it's fully downloaded I can play online games really smoothly. Besides, I'll be getting a much better internet connection soon so it should be ok
@@Kromosios well the game is like... Two gta5's worth of data at this point to download. I can see someone with only a 10gb dsl connection taking 24hr to download. And anyways, once in game it really doesn't matter how fast your connection is. You have just as much time to react on 120ping as on 20ping
This was by far one of the funniest of your ff14 series. I was in a puddle crying for spongebob hanging 5 feet from death and when the skill floor police almost caught you🤣💀
"Once you've kissed enough boys to build up your fashion bar" Thank you JoCat I will never not think about this now when I see reapers.
That monster mash cover is going to live rent free in my head for the next month, which I consider to be an absolute win
That Au Ra as a bedsheet ghost is more adorable than it has any right to be
He can draw, he can animate, he can edit, and he can sing.
What more can you need from a guy?
He can also DM.
as a very scary edgy reaper, me and my void pal do agree that the slices sure are spooky
I’ve been interested in FFXIV for a long while but it was this series that pushed me to play the game and it has been one of the best experiences of my life, so thank you so much JoCat you’re the best 😤😤❤️
Same for me except I thought it was one of the most tedious and boring experiences of my life rip 💔
So... what class?
I want to get into it but I straight up cannot justify a monthly subscription for a video game, especially since I live in a part of the world where $15 = two weeks of food
@@ButterflyScarlet It's free to play for the whole base game and the first expansion
It feels illegal to be this early
Same
You made me check the time posted and your very correct
It not
Agreed
Right!
3:29 "in which case you can just SIT there like an off-tank who's actually having fun" LOL
Inever thought Id need a new ringtone, but now I do.
what will it be you say?
ESTINIENNNNN HES THE AZURE DRAGOON 5:37
Dang, this might be the first video I've ever seen less than a minute after being posted
caught it after like 3, I almost never see yt notifications 😭
I think I clicked at 50 seconds lol
Dragoon main here, dragoons are the coolest and I will never accept an opposing opinion no matter how many sword and shields you offer me
What about a tiny spear thats basicly just a sword and a shield
fair point fair point, however have you ever considered you are wrong? thank you for coming to my TEDTalk i hope you enjoy your day.
Dragoons are never wrong!
Wrong. End of discussion
Dragoon main? don't you mean floor tank main?
Ninja and reaper caught my eye. Very cool! Happy you’re doing more crap guides!
The part of the damage down made me feel pain even tho i'm not receiving one now
As a Reaper main, I need to macro the lyrics of "The Spooky Slice" into my moveset now.
“It’s just your SOUL that’s the price!” Eh, I’m the Warrior of Light; I have plenty to spare.
Every time I watch a JoCat video I think "this is a great video".
Then he drops somehting like the Samurai szene or the Spooky Slice and things go from great to amazing!
He didn't have to go this hard. But he did it anyway.
Everybody talking about spooky slice and the depression comment, but no one is gonna bring up how accurate it is that he brought up the horny bat while showing a portrait of the admiral?
Don't lie I've read the forums.
8:26 TIME FOR SPOOOOOOKY SLICE
I love how ninja has those cool places to pose while looking down at everyone in their story. Doing that while wearing the Zero armor from the Garo series is better, even as a Hrothgar.
Ikr? I made my male Miqo'te look as adorable as I could so when I saw him during those cut scenes (especially with the flute music in the background) he looks so... menacingly cute.
@@djdiamond5710 ua-cam.com/video/sYkWfhopicM/v-deo.html
I see your statement, and up the antie!
Bravo, Jo. The entire time I'm watching this, I'm going, "Ohhhhh, the amount of effort been put into this thing is where he's been."
So delightful to hear you voice again; both JoCrap and JoCat. I can't get over the LUNARCON bits.
When the world needed him most, JoCat returned
Just when I thought these videos couldn't get any better, you put this one up. AND totally blow the last ones out of the water!
Amazing work, love it!!
My personal favorite description of reaper attacks related to building enshroud gauge is "minty fresh"
Minty fresh to rotting flesh
Thanks Jocat! The positionals part was educational, didn't know it was sectioned like a pie. And thank you for the full version of Spooky Slice!
Omg! I never would have guessed that I'd find a new song here that I now NEED in my live.
That Reaper song is perfection, I'll never not be hearing that in my head while playing my spooky boi.
We need a ten hour loop of Spooky Slice so the reapers can have their theme song playing while in game.
holy shit, this is an incredible video. Easily your best one so far, amazing improvement!
7:15 He DOES see me. Thanks, Jocaddy.
That song alone is worth the admission price amazing work as always. 😘😁
It feels like Jocat knows that people will be watching this on stream so he's going to embarrass them by doing the silliest things.
Everyone likes the spooky slice, but I like "FUCK IT'S THE SKILLFLOOR POLICE CHEESE IT" 6:34
I know these videos take a ton of effort, always great content and thank you for making them. I haven't played in years and still enjoyed this.
Reaper is one of my go-to classes, and yes, I do the spooky slice often.
P.S. Spooky Slice full version, plz?
I need a full version of Spooky Slice in my ear whenever I play Reaper now. Absolutely fantastic vid, the hits just keep on coming!
I'm literally rewatching the Spooky Slice section over and over again, it's so good!
7:45 - "FUCK IT'S THE SKILL FLOW POLICE! CHEEZE IT!"
2:35: I legit laughed+coughed so hard at those first two lines (because I main Healer and GOD is it true), oh man. Great stuff as always.
That said, a lot more focused on the jobs this time around. That was a whole thing on each job. Not saying it like it's a bad thing, just a lot more in-depth from the Tank/Healer/"DPS" videos.
... where are they hiding all the Hrothgar hats anyways..? 🤔
@@laschicvalisca2481 im pretty sure they are berried underneath the center of the bosses AOEs and you can only uncover them by digging while the AOE is active.
Yes it is true. That second of uptime and melee getting vuln stacks, o well it makes healing more fun.
@@preistestdragon4634 Dat's not true. I dun want to get Vulnerability and Damage Down! It'll be less awesome when I use my Mudras!
@@laschicvalisca2481 They're hiding alongside the Underwear slot from 1.0
5:49 Small correction on the Phantom Rush combo: It can be whatever attacks you want. Even those with the same forms. And ideally, you'll want to be doing Dragon Kick and Bootshine for this combo because the guaranteed Crit helps you deal more damage by average.
Dude that ninja mudra tip saved me so many brain cells!!!
Unironicy the crap guides are crazy entertaining and somehow useful lol great job on the video
If I had the money, I'd throw it at you like a drunk man throws 1's at strippers, these videos are amazing. The realization that there's still the ranged dps to go through, and potentially each individual job, makes me happier than a pig in shit. The quality gets better with each one, and the songs are *chefs' kiss*. Please never stop making these JoCat.
I see you went with the option to seperate DPS class types. Can't wait to see the other ones
Well, seeing as that this is the longest final fantasy crap guide (twice as long as any of the others), I'd hate to see what it would have looked like if the ranged DPS were mixed in too.
I keep coming back to these "timeless" ffxiv vids.., and everytime, I still crack up when rewatching them :D
I have a level 81 Ninja and never realized until now how that “cheat sheet” works. I feel like I just witnessed the truth of the universe.
"You do the SPOOKY Slice!" I love it. Your comedy is top tier. Thanks JoCat