Things the NARCISSIST will NEVER give you
Вставка
- Опубліковано 10 лип 2024
- If you are contemplating staying or leaving a relationship with a narcissist, it's critical that you base your decision on the facts. In today's video Jill tells you 6 things that the narcissist will NEVER give you.
Jill Wise, otherwise known as The Enlightened Target, is a life long survivor of narcissistic abuse. She was raised by a malignant narcissist and married to a malignant narcissist, she has endured years of parental alienation, has repeatedly been targeted by narcissists throughout her life. She has an intimate understanding of all aspects of narcissistic abuse and Cptsd. She uses her experience and what she has learned to help educate others and bring awareness to narcissistic abuse. She is also a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach and works with clients all over the world heal from the trauma of narcissistic abuse, parental alienation and Complex Ptsd.
If you are interested in private Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching with Jill , please visit her website
payhip.com/TheEnlightenedTarget
or send her an email at theenlightenedtarget@gmail.com. She conducts face to face meetings on the computer using zoom or over the phone. Many times getting the help and support from a professional who has lived through this is a necessary step to healing.
GROUP COACHING NOW OFFERED ON SUNDAY’S: If you are interested in group coaching, please visit Jill’s website for information:
payhip.com/TheEnlightenedTarget
Purchase a copy of Jill's Ebook: What are the specific personality and character traits narcissists look for in a target and how they are able to exploit and manipulate these traits.
payhip.com/b/nwID
To connect with an online licensed therapist, the link below will direct you to BetterHelp where you can find a qualified therapist and receive therapy from the comfort of your home.
Please click on this link to get connected:
www.betterhelp.com/theenlight...
Jill is sponsored by BetterHelp and receives a small commission on referrals. She only recommends services that she trusts.
Donations are very much appreciated.
paypal.me/TheEnlightenedTarge...
Follow me on Instagram
/ the_enlightened_target
Follow me on Facebook
/ theenlightenedtarget
This channel is for educational purposes ONLY.
A genuine apology you will never receive from a narcissist.
I understand that now. Never knew what a narcissist was till now.
YUP
Very true!!
True
@@ZPDSurvival same here
Things that a narcissist will never give you... Honesty, loyalty, trust, support.
Yes. U r absolutely right.
That's my wife unfortunately. Threw me away when I finally had my break down. I had to do everything for this woman otherwise she would threaten that she would do the work with my young boys. Now the same boys grown up are used as sentries to keep dad in line with her and their thinking. I need to leave.
yes 100%. Long to short he list his income so i took to paying for things as he would scream and stomp around making me very stressed...he never asked directly for money but his angry outbursts made me subconciously avoid that by making sure he had all he needed.
He would start to say"dam it i wish i had my money back then i could buy my own tobacco" as he looks into the last pouch i putchased 3days ago exclaiming"only got dust".
Im on disability and have just broken free of the situation and im still very confused as to how i could of fallen for half the stunts pulled.
Thanks for your videos they have really helped me.
Or love
@@stephaniehall6309 was thinking that 🤔
Most important things they will never give us
Respect
Security
Patience
Kindness
The truth
Love
And Honesty !!!
Narcissist version of truth & honesty is what doesn’t get them caught and gets them out of an accountable situation.
I wish I'd known all of this 50 years ago.
I hear you
Me too
Yup. Going to be 50 years for me this October 16.
@@kutatm I will be 50 on Feb 12
My heart is breaking to million pieces....this is so true , ive been in a terrible relationship with a Narcissist girl....she never gave me her love, no feelings, no true love, asked always money and cheated me , Narcissist are horrible toxic
I need to avoid that when starting romantic relationship with a woman myself. I already got enough female narcissists in my life right now, though none is always enough.
A narcissist's default setting ìs to lie. It comes naturally to them. It's easier for them to lie than be truthful.
Yes. Realized this many many years ago. Respect is something the toxic person cannot give.
Narc will never give - respect, intimacy, emotional or any form of support, love &care, independence, loyalty, straight answers, conversation
Yep the narcissists never validated me no matter what I achieved
Me too !,,, I discarded the narc 3 months ago and I feel awesome!,,, but there’s my mom & my sister !,,, that’s another story !!!
They are very jealous.
They are envy, jealous and breath their own failure.
My ex is trying to hoover me again, thanks for reminding me of all their wonderful qualities.
B. D. , how long after you break up did your ex start to Hoover?
Mine is too. For the last 15 months he stays for about a week, leaves foe no real reason and then a few weeks after that, he hoovers. I have refused a couple hoovers now since early June when he last left. Another one is brewing now as he lives across the street and is watching intently..
Same here...she’s a sick F
You’re not alone. I had to leave both my grandiose ex and covert narc mother, I know what you’re in. I know it’s possible to win, build yourself up from inside, watch videos Dr Ramani is the main source I’ve had, all the tools/strategies and support in the world. It’s crazy how much it helps. I’m now listening to stay away from catching me gaslighting myself or to keep my memories and knowledge intact, not to ever get fooled by them. My worst revenge was completely unplanned, I was doing so well without him, it couldn’t be hidden how calm, happy and functioning I was - with NPF’s, was surprised myself, lol. He was my big obstacle all along.. I didn’t mean to show it, he dropped stuff off, tried to win me back and that didn’t work.. he just saw it. It couldn’t be missed. I was so happy without him. I am so happy without all the problems and pain. Stay strong & good to yourself B.D!! You Deserve so much better than this, I hope you really really know it ♥️
They suck. Dump him run the OTHER WAY
It can all be boiled down to a total lack of integrity.
They discard you and blame you! All of the things that he felt you did wrong will pop up but NONE of the deplorable things he did will ever come out of his mouth! These things are vile and shouldn’t be breathing the same air that you and I breathe. They’re not even human as far as I’m concerned. All I can say is that the devil is alive and he’s quite busy. I’m not the person I used to be because of him and his raunchiness, lies, manipulation, and stealing.
My exact experience. This man literally tired to destroy me for no reason. Cheating, gaslighting and stealing. Found out about drugs and alcohol problem. When that mask came off it was like i was in hell. He literally cannot be alone and i think he sleeps with a different person every day. Its sickening to even think about.
Agreed Meg. I had the same situations while i was married. My wife, who also commit adultery, did the same thing.
I’m sorry Meg. There are a lot of these monsters out there. We are now educated on them. Remember the number one thing. Know your worth. Don’t compromise. Date people who deserve you. If you see a red flag. Leave.
Same here!!
Exactly. Cliche' bad seeds
He LOVED EMBARASSING ME IN CAFE's
He hurt me. To make a BUSBOY LAUGH.
I’ve been living with my soon-to-be ex-wife and our two boys throughout the Covid-19 pandemic...the childish games, backlash and sheer hatred have made things extremely stressful. However, I’m going to make it through and finally rid myself of this narcissistic person once and for all this year! I want to tell everyone not to give up because I’ve come back from this impending divorce, the loss of my job and a suicide attempt within the past six months. And add the living arrangements during the pandemic in there for good measure! Empathetic people are always the strongest because we give out so much of ourselves to the people we love. God bless and know that big hearts can climb bigger mountains in life. Love the channel; it’s helped me tremendously!
Never give up. Never surrender .. Rob
You are strong! It's amazing how perspective changes our thinking. Imagine a bright future and it will come.
G'day Rob i left my narsistic wife 2 weeks ago. We have 2 daughters together i feel so dirty leaving them with her. Head is held high soldier on ✊✊✊
NEVER give up, in or out!!! When you get fatigued, sleep, get rested and revived. Then continue to carry on.
You can do this, you have to! I did. Make sure you message to your kids that you deserve respect, civility, decency. They can get that memo and you can be alienated. That's the one thing you have left to do since you are under the same roof. Good luck!
Everything you said is true, the charactericits you mentioned bring back clear memories of the Narc behavior. To be a dependent child is like being an unloved, unprotected, overworked and criticed SLAVE. Left home the day I turned 18, no " Happy Birthday" for a young woman who tried so very hard to please and be loved.
No respect, my soon to be ex husband never let me have a say in anything, he wanted full control. No communication, no affection, no love, no compassion, no empathy, he was just a big money pit. I didn't even have a say in where my hard earned money went, he lost thousands of dollars gambling, that is when I really Started enforcing boundaries, I got my own bank account, he had the biggest narcissistic rage that I had ever seen, it was scary. Thats when I had to end it. The bad far out weigh the good. It is not mentally healthy for me or my kids.
Laura Jean did you ever get out? I left my sorry nut job back in December.It’ll be a cold day in hell before I live with a crazy person again.
@@longislandny696 yeah I'm in the long process of divorce.
"our" kids?
U married him lolsays a lot about u
@@hankfava you're comment speaks volumes lolol
They make me feel like I'm constantly walking on eggshells around them nothing I can do or say will never ever be good enough for them . They wanna gaslight , project , blame shift be super judgemental .
Stop interacting and communicating with your neighbors. You have the ability to coexist with neighbors and not speak to them again. Lots of people do this. You're making a choice of communicating with them and stay in the battle. Just stop keeping it going and end this. Or stop complaining when you don't. Note: I've see what you've posted before in several places about your neighbors while labeling them narcs when it's very possible they just don't like you. That doesn't make them narcissist. I'm basing this advice on that info and I am a certified Life Coach with a degree in Psychology. MOVE ON and don't speak to your neighbors anymore. Your life will be remarkably more peaceful.
@@judyscheiber3661 Why do they not like me ? I hardly ever spoke to them they still accuse me of stuff . I believe rumors & gossip have alot to do with not liking me .
Were u in my 👪
@@mikerainwater6154 ????
JLS I am having the same problem I bought up my daughters like princesses, I gave him everything because I was poor I wanted him to have a better life, so when they got older and they had their kids, all I did is babysit, I have to drive two hours so I can babysit my grandson, And also my first born, she would ask for money and I never said no tell you the truth I’m afraid of her she’s very aggressive nasty shit with me like garbage she made very bad choices and because of that she takes her anger out on me, I am taking medication, For stress anxiety, every time I say something I get bullied and they tell me that I don’t know anything, she made very bad mistakes, I think she’s sorry now, I’ve been helping her with her kids, From most five years, there’s so many more things I can say but I’m afraid that she will read it!!!
Thank you. Very well said. You are nothing but a disposable item to them. If you are out there with one of these monsters, please leave. They are never going to meet any of your needs. They have you under a spell and it needs to be broken. Get away from them and you will see all their games more clearly.
Bless your Heart , You do speek the Truth. Thank You, for trying to Help So Many.
😱😱😱
Im so guilty of holding out hope and giving too many chances. It cost me absolutely everything and am fighting for my kids
I went through exactly what you’re going through! 30 years of the same
The monster I was married to destroyed our family . My children have sooooo many problems his abuse and corruption of them manifested in them.
And he’s still at it. He’s a Never ending nightmare. Like a curse
Ot does not end, ever. I get it. We have been divorced for awhile now and she still keeps total track of me and scares off any women that show interest. She has all kinds of criminal friends to boot. Makes it scary.
Dont ever feel guilty, you are a kind human being with a heart of gold something a narc could never understand.
Same here, 8 1/2 years of my life, on/off not understanding the dynamic of what a Narc was, no Google & home computers, we learned the hard way, we must Never forget.
I spent almost 100k just on lawyers fighting her allegations, she got another 200k out of the divorce and she keep coming back for another bite untill i lost my home, job, everything! Spent last winter living on the side of the road! And now im 13k in debt to her for child support! I still wont do anything back to her bc to me its the same as if i did it to my children.
Excellent. No. 5 is solid. I spent 53 years shocked by the lack of loyalty.
Yet you are expected to show them the utmost loyalty and devotion.
This point is extremely important. They demand your loyalty and will betray you at the drop of a hat.
@@andersb5007 I've had several narcissists prove that to me. Especially recently.
40yrs myself
Absolute.. total.. SHOCK!!!
You are describing the monster i suffered with for the last 29 years!
If you don’t mind me asking, how many years of your marriage were happy ones? I’m so happy you got out.
I was with mine for 35 years . 32 years married. I share your pain . So angry with myself that I didnt see the lying and manipulation . True colours are coming out now the property settlement is well under way. Was told just tonight that he doesn't know what he ever saw in me and I have wasted his entire life lol . All because I asked him a question he didnt understand . Such a pig . In looking back even during happy times it was all about him .
kim h I was with mine for forty years, married 34 years with four children. I only got out a year ago, thanks to the encouragement and support of my children. It feels wonderful to be free at last. My narc used religion to control the family. I bought into his lies for decades. Best wishes to you. Enjoy the rest of your life and don’t look back!
@@brainboosterrva2320 Thank you . I definitely wont look back . Sadly my children although adults are still being manipulated by him and the blame for how things are going is falling at my feet at the moment. I cant be upset with them . Heaven knows I fell for it for more years than I should have . I just let them know I will be here for them when the truth outs itself . Im sorry you had to go through what you did but I cant lie about feeling good Im not the only one going through it . Much love to you and your family 🥰🥰
kim h Find people who understand what you went through and get support from them. Your children may or may not ever understand, but you CAN be happy and finally have freedom for the rest of your life. I spent years wanting to end the marriage but was terrified of committing a mortal sin. But with the help of my children I began to believe that I deserved better than the daily abuse. My children gave me courage. I finally decided that I didn’t want to take my last breath at the end of my life knowing I was too cowardly to act. When I left the narc last year, I told myself that even if I only had one month, one year of peace before God takes me, I would be happy and satisfied. I’ve been deliriously happy knowing I made the correct decision! You deserve to love yourself now, you’ve already given to your ex and your children. Enjoy the remainder of your life without guilt or shame. God bless you.
You describe exactly my parents and especially my mother. Every time I feel guilty for going no contact I watch yours, and others, videos to remind myself why I am doing it.
My 91 y/o narc Mother once let me be disciplined by a man she was dating when I was a teenager. I’ll never forget that-I felt so betrayed. She is not warm, lacks compassion and is cheap as hell. She once was backing out of the driveway at her house and hit my sisters car, which was parked in the street. She never told my sister and only fessed up when my sister confronted her. These are just 2 of the examples of her, a covert narc. My sister suffered more, as she is the oldest. Oh, and we had a father who was an alcoholic, and was never there for us physically, emotionally, or financially. He died when I was 13. I had a shitty childhood and I am suffering in my adulthood, even as I try to heal, as my mother needs my help more than ever because of her age and fragility. The only good thing about this virus has been that now I have an excuse to stay away from her. It is been so horrible dealing with her and her issues that now me and my sister have designated days of the week that we can talk about her, and have set up a schedule of phone calls to her and have included our children, so that we get a break from our mother. She has fallen twice since March, the first time breaking 2 ribs. Thanks for listening, commenting is like therapy for me.
Cut all contacts... it is same for me.. mum narcissist... father alcoholic... two abusive relationships... second one tried to kill me .... I cut off contact with everyone... don't feel guilty... u owe her nothing...
Similar experience here. My mother seemed a pretty decent person, for decades. Everyone, including me, admired her. I was, likely, the Golden Child. I was the one who did both personal and professional work for her. I’m in my mid-fifties now and, 2 years ago, she told me she’d always just used me, discarded me and has perfectly triangulated my sister against me, in part by blinding her with the early inheritance of a free house, while I may need to wait past my own death. The logistics are true as, the house I was to inherit, she lives in and I could not possibly ask her to leave, in my own interest. But, I also understood the malice that was behind it.
Haven’t seen her in 2 years now. I believe she has onset dementia but, her major issue is likely NPD. She calls occasionally and still holds onto my job number, although I’ve told her I’ll take her to court, if she calls there. But, I’m glad that I’ve, effectively, rid her from my life, by never seeing her and I only live 15 minutes from her.
I’ve come to learn that, everyone in my family expects for me to take the bull by t he horns and engage with her. But, this life is mine and I will not be working with her to ruin it, so, I’ve blocked my relatives.
I have used the excuse of a bad car not to see her and with the pandemic, it’s been great. I’m WFH so, even if she called my job, good luck with that. I’m a Prepper and my family doesn’t know that so, if SHTF, they can all go figure something out.
MHM Electronics some might consider me a demon to not be waiting on my mother hand and foot. Lord knows that many offspring get the whole, “But, that’s your mother!” Then she should’ve acted like it. As Little Shaman has said, “You owe nothing to anyone who doesn’t appreciate you.”
MHM Electronics understood. About as close as I can get to that is that, once my mother remarried (3rd marriage), she had little to nothing to do with her mother, who lived a state away. I rarely saw my grandmother but, we spoke almost daily. Even lost a job because I was on the phone with her too much. My mother left it to my cousin, who lived upstairs from my grandmother, to take care of her. I was too young and inexperienced in the ideas of caregiving to even perceive it as a need and thought that, as long as my cousin was there, she’d mine fine.
Later, my grandmother passed and here we are many years later and my mother tried to lie to me that she had been caring for my grandmother. My response was that she had a loose relationship with the truth and that she was stupid to be lying to me as, I spoke to my grandmother almost everyday. But, for my mother, it was time for the mask to drop. That she’d tell me anything to get caregiving out of me, that she’d never provided her mother and, on top of that, if she could loosen the screws under my livelihood by tinkering with it, in order to get me impoverished and under control, hey, that’ll work. Problem is, my mother hasn’t met me...
Private Private I’m sorry, your Mother sounds like a horrible person. I hope that you can heal from her abuse. Yes, my mother too, seemed like a decent person for decades. Well liked by others in the community, even had friends. But treated her children with disregard and in my sister’s case, contempt. Take care.
Please, anyone who is contemplating staying with a narc: I know it hurts and you don't want to give up on them, but if you don't love yourself enough to protect and take care of your needs, when they decide to discard you - and they WILL - You will never stop asking yourself "how could I let this happen" It is because you had love fueled by hope.. Don't let them take all your hope away.
Absolutely! The other fact to remember is that when there is children involved a partner of a narcissist who has other dark triad traits too will need a team of professionals who have been educated on how to help parents with children who are in a domestic violence situation in order for all there to get out alive and well some day. So build up your support system if you can by finding one person at a time to help you who has the resources and the credentials to do so. Like a policeman, a doctor, a social worker, a lawyer, etc.
I am cold-blooded and became cold-blooded, because of narcissistic abuse. From a child up to my 20s till the age of 25. I hate those people!! I wouldn't care whatever would happen to them. They are so wicked, they even know it. They are aware of it. Die alone, I don't care. As for my mother, I never wish to see her again ever. She scared me for life, and yes I am bittered, because of her. I meet a nice woman and here we go again. Panic, fear, insecure, hating myself. The result of being a victim narcissism. Complexed ptsd. Hope all the victims are somehow OK and I wish u all my love!!!! Thank you for this strong video again. Bless you all
You are loved. Don't let that define who you are or who you CAN be. You have more potential inside you that you can't even see right now. You are loved. you are WORTHY. you are more than you think. And it wants to come out and shine. Let yourself shine!!
Wookiee Lee thank you wook! I wish you all the same and God bless my man and your fam!!
So true, pathological liars, they even lie for petty things there is no need to lie about! I just stopped waiting for them to eat dinner at their home or at a restaurant. They have the bad habit of making a group of people wait for their arrogant ass at the table. I start eating or ordering before they arrive. I get the passive aggressive dirty looks and I just ignore them.
Truth
They are pathological liars shaken and stirred with a large shot of gaslighting!
Bmore Mom as they say, they would lie, even when the truth would serve them better.
I know someone that doesn't respect others time......not cool. Smh
So true about the food. My narc stairs at me when I eat the meal that I cooked myself ....
I have been married to one for very long 14-15 years. Was in a such denial that under his influence couldn't trust myself & the reality. Many years later blamed myself for hoping for a change in him. Today, I'm a psychotherapist myself.
Unfortunately, my daughter inherited his traits and left me because i couldn't finance her figure skating lessons after the separation. She too used me only for the money & important favors. It is now over 12 years since she has not seen or spoke to me or her brother, who thanks God, is very different from her.
Yes, as soon as I became disabled and no longer have the money I had- I have now been kicked to the curb. I no longer have value. So very painful and heartbreaking
Me too Belinda! Once I became disabled & not bringing in a "paycheck", I somehow became his mortal enemy! (He is a work-aholic for the almighty dollar!) Somehow, I became this monster of a person who is an outright BITCH, someone who lies, cheats him of things "due" him, steals all of "His" money (even tho we are married!! [Ie: it's "OUR" money!! BTW, I don't do this!), & I've "become" this *horrible* person (in his eyes) who does *everything* in my power to "bring *HIM* down" & go against him!! What a joke!! I'M the only one who is normal here!! (Yes, they portray who they are onto you)
He has turned his family, my own family, my/our friends, & (tried to turn) neighbors against me, isolating me!! (Even tho the majority of our neighbors know the truth - all by themselves), his own sons, whom I helped raise!! AND MY. OWN. FAMILY!!! (my family/his sons & I have always been close)
The lies that come out of his mouth (to *everyone* as well as to me) are so unreal & utterly ridiculous & absolutely horrendous!! I would never do these things! They just aren't a part of my being!! But without me going behind him & standing up for myself to these people, all they hear are his words... When I hear the things he says my jaw drops internally- & I feel "the stab" to my being! But I quickly realize what he's doing & stand up for myself to him. But even that doesn't work- it just fuels his rage &/or gives him an excuse to rage against me. So I go grey rock & distance myself from him (I live in the bedroom & give him the living room). And I've found that that doesn't work either bc then he feels (& acts like) that since I'm not fighting back, that I'm being submissive (which I'm not- I'm trying to protect myself from his non-stop VILE!! EVERYTHING with him is VILE! Even the look on his face while resting is VILE!! And *EVIL*!! - Like he's right on the edge, just *waiting* for the opportunity to strike & kill/rage!!)
I honestly don't know how much longer I'll be able to hold on. I've been with this man for 25 yrs (married 19). But if "I leave", I'll be living on the street & he'll be living in *MY* house, whom he moved into years after I bought it- by myself! I won't give up my house!! I don't care HOW many lies he's told that "He's paid for it"!! My house is my refuge, my safe place, the place that when I moved in, I had an inner peace of "knowing" I'd never have to move again! There's so much more to this story... and being disabled & living on SSDI, I can't afford to live somewhere else, nor would I feel safe, especially in today's world.
Living with this man is so F'd up!! But right now I have no alternative. I just pray to God He will keep me and not let me forget who I really am!!
This is pure & utter ABUSE! Abuse of the elderly, abuse of the disabled, & abuse of a human being who has done absolutely NOTHING to deserve it - except becoming disabled (no fault of mine- genetics)- IF you can label that an "excuse"! Maybe in *his* eyes, bc I'm no longer able to bring in a paycheck & am no longer able to do the things I used to be able to do bc my disability keeps me house-bound. In his eyes, that's enough to make me his mortal enemy!! Such a *SICK* (& evil) person he is!!!!
Interestingly, even tho he says "he should've gotten rid of me that first year I became disabled", HE refuses to file for divorce or leave!! Guess I'm good supply (or appearances) for him!!! SICK!!!
@@flowers6576 Tough and dangerous spot you're in. I understand where you are, it's complicated. BUT THE HOUSE IS YOURS, AND HE KNOWS IT. I wouldn't move out either. I know you're walking on eggshells. You have to take it one day at a time right now. He probably doesn't have anywhere else to go either. Be prepared to defend yourself at any moment. Hopefully, he'll find a girlfriend and move out. But I wouldn't count on it.
Wonder if you could find legal help for people with disabilities being abused?
OMG! So true! Yes! I have MS and have trouble walking. I’m in a wheelchair most of the time now. For me, it wasn’t about money, it’s all about how I made him look! His shiny exterior wasn’t glowing when he was with me! I’ve been like this for a year and a half and he has never, ever offered to take me out to eat, shopping, or whatever. When he mentioned taking me in public, he wanted me to wear a knee brace so people (that he doesn’t even know) would think my situation is temporary!! It wouldn’t make him look tarnished in any way! Unbelievable how these parasites are!!!
It’s truly heartbreaking and woke me up from the slumber. I am grateful to my Father in Heaven for helping me see this. I have a story to tell, maybe I will write a book. I take full responsibility for my participation of being naive
J Flowers Sorry that this monster is breathing the same air ... he definitely thinks your house is HIS house. Additionally, you’ll have to file for divorce because these individuals are too lazy and believe it or not too dependent on this situation to do it. Sincerely🌷
Yeah my ex had me or thought she had me thru bullying, lying, manipulation and sowing seeds of self doubt. Thought I was deluded but I still had a grip on reality...caught her out when she was meeting someone else who suited her evolving needs. I'm on my own and glad to have 20/20 once again. Jeez..the time I wasted giving her the benefit of the doubt and trying to reason with her. I'm on my own now but at least I truly know where I am and it's a better place.
Did she ever go all the way thru with cheating? Mine swears sure never did, but with all the other lies I've never actually caught her. Married 20 years and were actually on the same home for maybe 6. Today was my last straw. It hurts because you try and believe they can be whom they pretended to be initially but finally have to accept that they never cared at all.
@Timothy Neely wow I'm sorry bro. None just reconnected with a guy she knew 25 years ago and get this as the kicker... She was his side chick.. Knowing he had a girlfriend. Shows any lack of self respect. Hey thanks I'm trying to let all the memories go. It's tough right now... Thanks for your time!
These people really have the jezebel spirit. That's why they all do and say the same exact things in unison.
@Timothy Neely That's horrible. No heart. These people are really are really something else. Walk look everything is fine.
My story the same caught her out still denied it they have no heart they make out you have mental health issues, no more would rather be on my own.
Jill, this clip is the best, most accurate & succinct video that I have ever watched - thank u, Sincerely, 24 yrs married with 5 kids, & having survived 2 of her despicable affairs & now I've been recently smeared, alienated, scapegoated & discarded, Mike
24 years 5 kids gave up 2 years ago the smear and alienation begin.
Hats off to Jill. Truly valuable insight into what happens in a relationship with a narc.
OMG I never realised until about 5 years into a 27 year relationship that my husband was / is a narcissist. One one of my early FB posts I put "after 27 years I have been discarded like a used tissue". I felt goosebumps when you used that phrase. It is so true. They see us as disposable.
Not harsh, every word and point is true. I lived it. They do not love, period.
You are absolutely right,I'm a victim of spousal abuse by my narc, alcoholic, tourettes husband,getting a divorce to keep my sanity,he now has a felony, I was living in "hell" now I have my soul back. Great topic......
After going through this for so long and finally breaking free this woman is spitting strong facts. Everybody stay strong
All is true! It is the most difficult thing to do, but leaving them is priority!! Life is too short to not do this! I’ve been there and it was not easy but I did it!!
They get 'supply' for their ego and needs. It isn't love.
Thank you for hitting all the parts of narcissism. Parental alienation is usually not discussed. Validation, closure, a pat on the back saying good job. When it gets tuff the narcissist runs away.
I’m so glad I watched this.
Yes this is a tough one.
I got burned by a covert narcissist .
After years of depression and alcoholism I got myself into a fantastic place. The best I’ve felt in many years. I met someone, there was instant chemistry. We were absolutely inseparable.
I gave this girl my heart. I supported her through some major dramas. Opened her eyes to so much. Introducing her to my daughter. I felt we had a fantastic bond. An amazing connection. She made me feel loved and wanted. And we were heading for a beautiful future. I’m a very sympathetic and empathetic person. I love people. I care.
Turns out, i wasn’t the only guy in her story.
There were a few Sex Buddies. Turns out that she is a compulsive and pathological liar. She lived another life. It really really hurts. After all this time, I don’t even know her. And I’m getting story after story now and she is just cooked. Psychology damaged. And I had no idea. I was just a pawn in her game. She manipulated. She pretended. I’ve got a lot to process through. She meant the world to me. After 13 years of keeping my guard up, I finally found someone who brought sunshine. Brought her into my life. And it wasn’t real. Wasn’t real at all mate. I didn’t deserve that. At all. I honestly can’t believe it.
I am so so so sorry Nathan ..... I am an African, in Africa, and you have written exactly what I am am going through too as female... No one deserves to be treated so hateful.... You didn't deserve it.... Neither did I. I will remember you in my prayers.... As I pray for my own healing, and that of fellow empaths whose lives are so malicious robbed by narcissists.
Dont worry. Noone knows her. Even herself.
They are bad actresses
Why is it that I constantly hear it is the parent who is a narcissist ,adult children can be the worst kind of narcissist . Because they definitely have an upper hand of a parent who loves unconditionally. It is absolutely terrible ,all of a sudden a parent has to come to a realisation, that you no longer know the child you have loved forever . I have been bullied by being called terrible names and sworn at, if you don’t do things as they say, threatened with not seeing your grandchildren ,doing all of the running around to please and make the relationship better for your grandchildren ,it’s a horrible manipulation, continuing while you are being demonised to others ,while ignoring it ,because you love your grandchildren and want them to have a good life with good memories. It is not nice, but you cope for a good reason . Little people who mean the world . So please add into your equation the narcissist relationship on both sides of the parent child relationship because it isn’t only a bullying parent . Children change in life through their own experiences and consequences of their own actions, then they can turn on the people who love them the most ,simply because they can
I understand completely what you are going through. Ot isn't aways the parent. Adulr children can and do become abusive and it's very very hard to handle.
I am aware that adult narcissists children are not spoken about too much, but the pain is real the way they dangle your grandchildren over your head like a carrot...I just pray that the grandchildren will grow up to be good people...you never know who will be the evil narcissists in your life.
You are really excellent and clear speaker and analyst, many thanks
Thank you very much for your exposing the conducts of narcissists.My ex has not rested for over 18 years.He castigates me and at the same time begs me to be talking to him.He tried everything possible to see me death during our relationship.I give glory to God for coming in contact with you
I have been married for thirty years, I have given my wife what ever she wanted and have sported her all the way, I do all the house chorus shopping spending all my time with the children..
She tells me she doesn't love me and I should be grateful to her because no other woman would live with me. She puts me down in front of other people. She works and hasn't spent her money on shopping for the family and expects me to run the family on my wages only.
I suggested we both go for counselling but she says there's nothing wrong with her.
I really enjoy these types of videos. They are very blunt and straight to the point. I hate when coaches try and sugar coat their behavior. We victims need this. Thank you
I ❤ the honesty of your video. Sugar coating things only keeps people believing the fantasy not the reality. If you ever hope to have a real future then you have to realize these things as fact so you can eventually leave & heal your heart & mind. Finally left after 30+ years & wish I had seen this video many years ago but I am learning each day to forgive myself. Being honest with myself about the life I was living as opposed to the life I truly deserve is helping me to see I made the right choice by leaving. Best wishes to all✌
Thank you for saying, " gaslight yourself ". I've been married to a narcissist for a long time and I think I gaslight myself. That's sad.
They also will never give you closure.
And much, much more! And another big one.... closure. Great video!
C S , I have already come to terms with t he fact that there will never be closure. I have accepted it and I’m ready to move past it.
Elizabeth , agree. It took me years of hoping but these channels let me know exactly with what I’m dealing with.
Love your list, Jill~! ; Concise, accurate, reality-based.
Some may say it's harsh, as you mentioned. It's not harsh, it's just true.
At times strong wording is required, because the content being discussed seems SO CRAZY to those freshly exposed to the concept (and dangers) of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
We hope against hope, that we can reason with the narc.
We change into what they say we need to be, for them to love us, only to be unceremoniously discarded in the end.
Filing for divorce
Wish I had known 3 decades ago the knowledge about these awful creatures 👹 .What a waste. They know all the right buttons to push to keep u in that box. Thank God for rescuing me from that demon🙏
Truth and fact. When you're in the thick of it, this is hard to see. A good way to help with this is to find time alone, as much as possible ... read, watch videos, gain knowledge and reflect. And, if you're isolated ... reach out to people, even online there are supportive places. Sometimes the kind gesture of a decent people can be so uplifting and bring strength, when for so long you've lived under the narcissistic cloud.
You are not being too harsh in what you are saying. This is all very true. It took me awhile for the reality of it to settle in, as I couldn’t believe that my own (ex)wife could ever be like this. But she was and is. It also took me awhile to realize that the reason she doesn’t change, is because she doesn’t want to. I gave everything I could possibly give, and then I still tried to give more, and it was never even close to being enough. Thank you for this video. You’re making a positive difference.
Thank you so much Jill for every suggestion of yours.
"NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD" Luke 1.47
I believe in God even they believe in God Sir but that scripture won't help what is sent from the evil one
Nooo,
you are wrong guys-
Almighty God is powerful,
The devil is peanuts to deal with according to Him.
When Jesus came He delivered people from the devil throughout His ministry-
And He still does today through many ministries.
Don't forget sin separates us from God and most people are living WORLDLY lives and totally ignore Him,
or
They believe in God but do not FOLLOW Him according to the bible-
Therefore they think God is weak and not doing anything to help in their messed up lives-
But really the problem is them,
And not God. 🌅
Wayne M
No, you stop your nonsense.
You don't know God AT ALL.
This life is very short and when you take your last breath where will you go?
The After life is very serious-
Far more serious than what you see and hear around you right now- which is nothing.
Not to be taken lightly.
Reconsider your bias views about Him for your own sake.
Wayne M
Threaten you?
I responded to your comment.
He is very real and came into my life in a very tangible way.
Just like He has millions over the centuries.
There is hope for you,
as He is YOUR God as well- whether you believe or not-
He loves you,
but you must repent of your sins- as sin separates you from Him.
The evil one has blinded you from Him
He's just waiting for you to call on Him/seek Him, as His word says.
God bless. 🌅
Wayne M
There is only one God-
you work it out for yourself.
Harsh truths, but they need to be accepted. The good thing I've found about accepting the truth about narcissists is that it's made it easier to set boundaries, the recognize when people are violating those boundaries and to detach when someone behaves in a crazy making way that I used to try to explain, defend or justify myself to. The few narcissists left around me can sense that I know about them because I keep a healthy distance, so they keep theirs, but they view me as not liking them or as cold, I've learned who to be warm with and who to keep at bay.
I’ve learned that life lesson about setting healthy boundaries too and it is an important one because we have been introspective enough to see our fault in perpetuating the abuse when we were ignorant of the manipulation. Kudos to you and welcome to your new empowered life. The lessons we’ve both learned will impact us in positive ways for the rest of our lives. We have clearer vision now and can more
readily recognize toxic relationships and develop the tools to avoid them which enables us to have time for meaningful relationships with others who care about us.
Jill, you told the truth.
The clarity is through the roof Sister!! Awesome video!
Sincerity... peace... appreciation.. loyalty.. honesty..apologies.. support.. consideration
EVERYTHING this woman said is 100% fact. Myself and my children have lived through the horror. Blessed that the trash took itself out.
You are 100% on every point. Still kicking myself for hanging in there for so long .
You have just perfectly described my mother.😢
You're amazing. Thanks Jill. X
Absolutely hits the nail on the head. Thank you for this! I just saved this on the home screen of my phone for good reason! The goal posts really stood out for me, too
This describes the mother of my children perfectly. I always thought she was bipolar, after watching a lot of the videos on this channel I’m pretty sure she’s a narcissist. I’m so happy we don’t live together anymore 🙏🏼 Thanks for all the information you share.
Bipolars arent abusive. They harm themselves.
Hi Jill! I have become a narc channel enthusiast over the past year. And I have to say out of all the channels I have watched thus far, yours comes off as the most genuine, warm, and applicable. Thank you for what you do!
You are wise beyond your years; thank you!
This couldn't be anymore on point. 🎯💯
I never got any honesty and closures from my narc. It hurts me so much as we are getting divorce. They will never change. He never cared for me and never will.
Yes but he'll be the same with anyone.
He can't be different than what he is.
Another really great video from Jill Wise, the Enlightened Target. Jill gives me a framework, into which I can see my family-of-origin relationships from a new perspective: a pattern & practice of narcissistic abuse by almost all the adults around me, from the time I was born, then intensifying with my parents divorce when I was 3 years old, which separated me from the one adult (my father) who was in the best position to mitigate some of the abuse's damage. This being in the 1960s, once a couple divorced, the man rarely had much visitation time, especially with my dad working & living out-of-state from me, my mother, and my half-sister. From my new, educated, 2020 perspective (all puns intended!) I can understand the events of my childhood in a fresh manner, and am beginning to understand how revisiting & re-working all the old memories helps me live a better today, after I accept & process my background thru a lens of being a survivor of narcissistic abuse on a rather massive, consistent, family cross-generational "promoted" scale.
Love the message Love the delivery Jill...
You are sooo correct!!!!
Great perspective, effective counter attack to any form of hoovers! Good luck everyone value yourself n stay focused, NC all the way!! TY!
All so true
Thank you kindly
This is a lightning bolt of truth.
I agree with what you have said. We must face the painful truth. When we discern someone as narcissistic we must not walk away but run as fast as we can.
Amazing presentation. Totally agree.
What ever u listed in this video is 100% right as I was fully experienced with these traits. Thanks a lot to list them and helping us in breakfree with Narac
Yes! If they open their mouth , a lie comes out.
Excellent video Jill, as usual. Glad you are back. All points are absolutely true. Not all can accept this information and that is unfortunate. It is a bitter pill to swallow but narcissists are deemed toxic for a reason!
Thankyou lovely lady you really are enlightened. 💕 You have such a kind, gentle manner of explaining this brutal, cruel topic.
I did exactly what you said not to do and gaslighted myself into staying only to get discarded anyway. Horrifically painful and my life is on the point of ruin but I realise now it is a blessing as I have a chance to heal and rebuild into a better life.
Your points hit home hard for me!
Allll true! In my own experience! Thank you for validating my experiences.
A simply excellent video on how a narcissist thinks and behaves in relationship with others. Well done.
Absolutely spot on and true!!!!!
Very well Said, thank you for sharing.
I was speaking to a friend that happens to be a therapist. I told her the ex said he would tell me the truth one day. We have been divorced over 3 years, he has not attempted to share anything. I have been no contact for 10 months now! My friend stated he put the I will tell you someday like bait. It is true for over 2+ years I texted him asking for answers. I never got one. This fish is swimming in safer healthier waters. His bait is dead!
Wow! Thanks Jill for this great video! This fits my boss to a tee!
Yep, sometimes you just gotta stop watering dead plants, same thing
Very well said. Excellent video!!
You have no idea how right spot on you are I have a father granny into the ground and a brother had stepped all over me and ruined my life along with my father he's gone now and I see what he does to his wife without her even knowing
Thanks for the reality check 😊
Great job, thank you very much!
Great. 100 percent factual info. Thank u.
Thank you Ms Jill ❤️🦋🌈
Affection when they’re upset with you
So glad I got out. I didn't even know what Narcissism was!!
Absoultely every thing you said!!! Truth!!!!!
Absolutely true 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Peace, equality, and loyalty
All so true! I tried to at least experience one of these items for 40 years to no avail. Been divorced 3 years and so much healthier!