A Silly God Making Some Silly Things
Вставка
- Опубліковано 22 тра 2024
- Animation and Art Channel
@pmseymourartchannel | / @pmseymourartchannel
Music Channel
@pmseymourmusicchannel | / @pmseymourmusicchannel
Patreon
www.patreon.com/user?u=15941009
Redbubble Store
www.redbubble.com/people/ItsA...
#voiceover #godcreatesthings - Комедії
Dawn Of The Final Day,
Grab The Lemorb
before it is too late
www.makeship.com/products/cosmic-wonders-lemon-and-dango-gang
I no have moni :(
No.
I'm broke.
Okay, so I want a fish that lives deep in the ocean water...
Ok.
So deep there's no light and nothing to see...
Um...
And make it boneless...
Uhh...
And it needs to tie its own body in a knot to clean itself!
What?!!
What if we had a fish with a flat body?
Why?
Hear me out...
It isn't flat it's entire life...
What?
It's skull will twist to have both eyes on one side during puberty!
*screaming*
"God making sandsliders."
Let's put another lizard in the desert.
Ok, anything else?
Remove it's front legs!
Ohhh! Why?
For a moment there, I thought the “A” stood for alien and that they were stuck in heaven just helping drunk God.
Angel: That’s it! You’re taking over this segment!
Alien: Wait what!?
Angel: YOU TAKE CARE OF GODS STUFF I NEED A VACATION
Alien: …
God: Hehehe look at this silly guy, I’m gonna make you into something!
@@AiLoveAidoruAlien: WAIT NO---
@@AiLoveAidoru I think the alien would understand humanity even more after that. Our god is insane no wonder we are as we are.
I thought it was Adam lol
3:13 and God yelled
"DIVINE SMITE!"
While the townspeople watched in horror as thousands of Falcons descended from the heavens
God creating Autism: “Ok, make their senses super sensitive, make their communication skills weird, and make them REALLY REALLY interested in random hyper-specific things and topics.”
P.S. I’m autistic
Also Autistic, mood.
Samesies!
Also: Fun Fact! Autistic people have been shown to be able to convey information equally as efficient as neurotypicals. It's just that when it's a mixed group then comminication breaks down. (Wow, who couldst have possible thunken?)
I highly suggest reading:
Autism and the double empathy problem: Implications for development and mental health, by Peter Mitchell, Elizabeth Sheppard and Sarah Cassidy, published on 2021-01-04 (YMD ofcourse). Or as I like to call it: Stuff I already knew and could have told you years ago, but now with scientific sources edition.
And Autistic peer-to-peer information transfer is highly effective, by Crompton, C. and a bunch of others, published in 2019. This was the study I was refrencing. Quite interesting, but could be improved.
Hope this is interesting!
A: Oh, other than the weird communication that doesn't seem that ba-
G: If they touch a weird texture, sense too many things at once, or have their schedule changed without notice, have them break down completely. And because of the communication issues they can't explain what's wrong properly.
A: Aaaand there it is.
P.S. Also autistic
Also God: *Opens box of anxieties*
I vaguely agree in both a "there's more but these are omnipresent" and a "everyone is different, there's going to be outliers" way
God discovers crabs
G: Hm, i haven't checked in on the planet in a while, let me check what's going on...
G: (Discovers crab)
G: ...
G: Hey angel? when did i create this creature
A: What creature?
G: this one (points at crab)
A: Hm, let me check
A: ...
A: Interesting, it says here that its an evolution of a creature you made a while back
G: Okay... ima call it a crab!
G: what about that one (points at another crab)
A: Sir thats just another cr- ...
A: thats odd... why does it say its an evolution from a completely different species...?
G: Well what about this one! (points at yet another crab)
A: Tha- ... wait, why is it another evolution?!
*proceeds to go through several different crab species*
A: WHY IS EVERYTHING EVOLVING INTO CRABS?!?!
G: I DON'T KNOW!!!
Because clearly, crabs are the superior life form, and one day all life shall become crab.
@@kiritotheabridgedgod4178REJECT MONKE, RETURN TO CRAB 🦀
There was a mistake when programing evolution. Now everything leads to crab.
There is only one step, and it *is* crab.
Crab god *Crab god*
To be fair, Peragrine Falcons are only fast in a dive. In straight level flight they could be out-run by a pigeon (pigeons are actually pretty quick in that respect, suprisingly)
Nothing can escape its frustrated screeching.
That ascending “WHY” is so funny to me. I love these.
0:55 Funny, that is also why the Emus were made after the humans.
With a God like this, no wonder we're Space Orks.
0:42 Fun fact: It _is_ so much worse!
There are apparently quite a few moth species that _don't have a mouth._ They don't eat clothing, but their children do. This includes the cute and adorable fluffy luna moth.
They don't get to eat. They only live a week, and only live to mate, and then they _die._
Thanks God, very cool
I have this idea that sober god is like TFS alucard in hellsing ultimate abridged, he knows exactly what he is doing and just enjoys being a jerk, and when he’s drunk he’s trying to take his job seriously, but fails due to being drunk
I hate that you have a point, lol.
God creating anxiety
G: So, you know how I made all the animals and humans have a fear response so they can act in dangerous situations?
A: Yeah...?
G: Okay, make it some of them can NEVER turn that off, so they perceive everything as the threatening situation.
A: You can't be the source of all things. Someone made you like this
I really love that the series is back, the concept of God having human qualities and being chill as hell just speaks to me in a way 😂
Animorph fans knew that the perigrine falcon is the fastest animal on the planet already.
God making Arabian Sand Boas:
G: Okay take a snake.
A: Alright...
G: No venom this time.
A: Okay, another boa? So it lives in the jungle I assume.
G: Naw, put it in the desert.
A: Alright...?
G: Make it sandy brown so it blends into the sand.
A: Actually, this is pretty cool.
G: Okay, now give it the GOOFIEST eyes possible. Like a straight up muppet.
A: ...What?
*googles the thing* ... Okay yeah that's pretty goofy. I'd argue the vibe is more unfinished muppet than straight up muppet though.
OH MY GOD ITS THE NOOODDDLEEE!!!!!!❤❤❤❤
God making pistol shrimp
G: Ok, take a shrimp
A: Ok...
G: Make one of it's pincers slightly bigger
A: Like the Hermit Crabs?
G: Yeah, but make it so when they snap 'em, it creates a bubble with the temperature of the SURFACE OF THE SUN it uses to hunt with
A: Of course.
G: Also make them friends with the Gobys
*checks the book*
He's right - Those are the rules!
alien and angel switch out when one needs a break from the shenanigans.
God was on something lol
Yes alcohol
19 things at least.
This always reminds me of the webcomic "adventures of God" because they both portray god as a well meaning goofball of a deity. Who really shouldn't be making half the shit he contunes to make...
0:43 It is so much worse.
Signed, someone with a severe moth phobia
The "worms with hundreds of legs" are my breaking point 💀
i know how it feels when i tell someone that i disagree with the notion that spiders are adorable
funny how that works.
i would say "enjoy your mottephobia" but thats not how phobias work
Ah yes like the food moths whose larvae get into food. Which is why flour sifters were invented, to sift the larvae out of the grain since people couldn't afford to just throw out the flour.
The irrational fear of moths is called Mottephobia.
I love how people just say random details about moths with exactly the details a mottephobic don't want you to tell them.
God making Axolotls:
G: Ok so take a salamander
A: Let's see how you ruin this one...
G: Make it be able to grow limbs back
A: Lucky
G: Make it have a big smile.
A: Ok there
G: Bigger
A: There?
G: *BIGGER!*
A: ok fine it stretches across the whole face now
G: good. Now make humans obsessed with it.
A: why?
G: cause look at it!
"Also it has to stay a teenager forever and if it ever becomes an adult its lifespan drastically shortens for no clear reason"
@@macaronsncheese9835Yes
3:19 everyday, i imagine a world where i can be with you
In my hand, is a pen that will write a poem of me and you.
0:57 ah so this is how Lucifer fell
One of my earliest memories is being at a park and watching a man get close to a swan nest with a camera, my mom telling me to pay attention to him, and him running like hell when Mama Swan tried to end him for getting near her babies. And that’s why I stay the fuck away from Swans
God creating horseflies
G: Ok so take a bug.
A: Oh no, where is this going?
G: Make it big
A: Alright...
G: And make them bonk into people and their cars constantly
A: Oh, this isn't nearly as bad as I thought!
G: Hm, you're right. Make the girl ones drink blood and give them insanely painful bites
A: ... *to coworker* Are you SURE this isn't hell?
God making lamps
God: okay you know I made light?
Angel: oh no…
God: give a human the inspiration to make a miniature source of light
Angel: oh hey that’s pretty…
God: now have moths surround it
Angel: …
God: heh…lämp
This came to mind during the centipede one
God: Take one of those funky lizards that regrow limbs.
Angel: Okay…?
God: Now take away its eyes.
Angel: Wh-
God: I’m not done! Then stretch it like it’s taffy.
Angel:…
God: The legs are the same size as before.
Angel: W-
God: Maybe even smaller.
And thus, the Olm was born.
4:10, that's SCP-1000
I was going to blame SCP-343
But then I realised that we are to blame
God creating frogfish:
G: ok, i want to make the deadliest predator imaginable, any ideas?
A: uhm.... the ocean is kinda scary?
G: ah, ok a fish then. *takes notes*
A: sooo, the unknown is also scary, so how about... camoflauge?
G: dial it up to 100, i want it to be nearly indistinguishable from a normal rock. You know what? Make it able to change its colour if you have to!
A: how about either a long drawn out death, or a quick one?
G: Both.
A: what do you mean, both?
G: make it swallow them in less than a second and the. Just let them be digested alive.
A: …
G: …
A: anything else?
G: give them all a piece of flesh on the face that looks, smells and moves just like the food of its prey.
A: …
G: also let them walk on the ocean floor and give him funny little legs.
A: of course it has silly little legs....
Was not expecting a Devils Hole Pupfish reference
Still waiting for ZeFrank to do that one...
Fun Fact! Peregrine falcons are only fast going down; in level flight, even pigeons are faster.
They save up their whooosh meter for special occasions.
Nah, I get the peregrine falcon one. The angel's wrong here, that's *sick.*
I love the fuzzy butterflies
God making a God Makes Things joke
G: Okay, so take a conversation between me and you.
A: Alright.
G: It should be the creation of a new thing.
A: Oh, like we usually do.
G: Give it details about why it's different.
A: Right, since nothing can stay the same. I kinda actually enjoy--
G: Now give it some twist you don't like.
A: Why are you like this?
G: And add in a threat to quit.
A: I think I'm actually going to. You're turning our work into some kind of joke!
G: To be fair, this huge project is one big joke altogether.
A: Nope, I quit! Gabriel can take my place!
2:03 You sounded very sleepy here.
I wonder if I could find a recipe for hot wings here
2:59 this is Adam suggesting peregrine falcons to a _very_ patient God, and no one can convince me otherwise (I know it’s not biblically accurate but I love the idea XD).
Oh, we back to crazy God? yey
That bigfoot skit, was that a reference to SCP-1000? Ancient humans go to war with the bigfoots and then forgot about it, thus, making us the new dominant race on Earth.
SWANS CAN BREAK HUMAN ARMS?????
Owen and that demon that works for Satan should switch places. it'd be funny
Love your work PM!
G: Okay I want another virus.
A: I believe we have enough of those.
G: Don't worry this one is different.
A: Oh no.
G: Make it a syringe.
A: That is weird even by virus standards.
G: Give it legs.
A: At these sizes that seems unreasonable but since this is in the shape of a syringe, I suppose that it needs them.
G: Now make it hunt very specific kinds of bacteria.
A: Okay, we can work with this. It is very strange but I think I can make do.
G: Oh yeah, give it a icosahedron for a head.
A: Of cause.
I'm still waiting for whatever continuation of DDLC Dan is making.
We need a bingecomp on that
I love those :)
I can’t stop picturing this being the voice of the Hazbin Hotel fan design for God
G: take a dog
A: ok, at least compared to other animals, those turn out fine on average, so off to a great start
G: make it white and black, random pattern, it's not a zebra after all
A:ok...
G: make it be one of the most intelligent dog races
A: where's the catch?
G: oh, you're gonna love those catches for once
A: Catches, as in plu-?
G: it's also a very stupid workaholic as it would believe that it's invicible to its target when it's laying down and looking at the target with that thousannd yard yet still cute stare unique to that race
A: That's actually nice for once, but I bet that stupidity would bring problems
G: It's so stupidly a workaholic that some can get chronic seizures
A: I KNEW IT!
Basically what's up with one of the two border collies in my family btw, she should get pills 2 times a day to lower the risk, but it's been a while since she got it last.
Was not expecting a reference to Zzyzx today
i cant wait for one of these to do the sand fish. its a luzard that swims tgrough sand. very cool
Lucifer creating goats-
Lucifer: Ok, Dad's busy so I get to make something this time!
Angel: Oh, no....
Luficer: No, no. It'll be fine. Ok, so, ya know those sheep things Dad made?
Angel: Yeah.
Lucifer: Ok, make something kinda like that.
Angel: Got it.
Lucifer: Oh, and give it a cute little beard. Like a little gentleman.
Angel: Weird, but ok.
Lucifer: Tiny horns. It needs cute tiny horns.
Angel: Actually, this isn't half ba-
Lucifer: Now make it scream like a banshee! ...And fall over really funny when it gets scared.
PM where's the bot thread, please I need this hot wings recipe.
I think he deleted it...
God making Sables
God: Ok, take a ferret
Angel: K
God: Make it bigger
Angel: Ok…
God: Give him big triangle ears.
Angel: Please let this be normal…
God: And finally give it big ol’ bear paws.
Angel:… Holy cow this is freaking adorable
God: I KNOW, RIGHT?!
Algorithmic punch
God creating the Giant Hogweed:
G: You know those plants we made? The ones that have tiny hair spikes that cause pain and itching?
A: Oh no.
G: Let's remove the stinging hairs and itching juices.
A: (excited) Really?
G: Yeah, I got this new juice I wanna try out!
A: What's it do?
G: Well, nothing at first.
A: "At first"?
G: When it's exposed to sunlight, it's gonna burn like crazy! Like, third-degree burns!
A: Here we go.
G: Also, these burns can remain painful for up to seven years.
A: _Why?!_
G: Oh, and if you get it in your eyes, you go blind.
A: And let me guess, they're going to grow almost anywhere and be nearly impossible to wipe out?
G: Great idea! This is why you're the one helping me with these!
A: At least the burn juice can be washed off.
G: Oh, sure. But the skin must avoid direct sunlight for at least a week afterwards.
A: *_WHY?!_*
nice
that is the plot of scp-1000
God making ADHD:
G: *_audibly giggling_*
A: oh no
G: Hey aaaaangel
A: Yes, my lord?
G: y'know how in the Stone Age, the humans are kinda... bad at that "gatherer" part of hunter-gatherer?
A: Yes, we were debating on how to improve that yesterday
G: _trying to remember beyond half an hour ago_
A: m-my lord?
G: Yeah anyway, so I was thinking we'd make _some_ of the humans just, like... *_really_* prone to wandering, like REALLY prone
A: o...kay?
G: Like, really, *_REALLY_* prone to wandering. Like, their brain chemistry is so specifically built to never remain on one topic that they're _constantly_ wandering, even in their own heads
A: _And here I was thinking that Cain received a punishment_
G: WUZZAT
A: Nothing, my lord... just, why not give them an _average_ amount of increased wandering? Why not merely make them fascinated with the world?
G: BECAUSE THEY'RE LITTLE BETRAYERS I TELL YOU
[Indistinct angry mumbling]
A: Oh my You
Wait, so which is the desert puddle fish?
God creating legless lizards
G : You remembered when we gave these dangerous noodles legs and made them almost not dangerous for humans ?
A : Yeah, these are called lizards. Why ?
G : Make one not dangerous at all for humans.
A : So, a new lizard, something normal at least.
G : Make their legs so small they can't use them anymore.
A : So now, it's a snake but not dangerous. Why do you keep changing ...
G : I didn't change, it's still a lizard.
A : But ... Why ?
G : And they can still lose their tails.
A : Ok ... And how are humans going to differenciate them from the snakes ?
G : They will have to look their eyes.
A : And that's it ? no other way to identify ?
G : Nope, only the eyes.
A : Where do you find these ideas !?
G : Well ...
A : You know what, I don't want to know.
God creating samoyeds
God:since we're making fluffy dogs, let's make one that's less fluffy than a wooly malamute
Angel:uh-huh
God:fur pattern is completely white like clouds around us
Angel:good good
God:have them also be working dogs
Angel:alright
God:give them a good nature and a big smile
Angel:no twists, nothing to make me regret it?
God:I just can't think of a name besides happy dogs
Angel:we'll come back for this one, is this one a goof too?
God:they're talkative, they bark a lot
Edit:to anyone wondering about the bigger and fluffier line, After the Husky, the Malamute was next, so yeah more snow dogs 🐶
I don't know if I learn this fact from here but I have been spreading this knowledge since Falcons have a very low claw strength so instead they punch things really really hard when they're going really really fast the Falcon punches this does not stop them at only pray saw a video Once of a cheetah getting punched in the back of the head it pissed him off
YEEEEEEEEES!
God creating phobias:
God: Hey let's create phobias!
Angel: What is a phobia?
G: Remember allergies? Where the body thinks some innocent stuff is toxic so it freaks up and tries to nuke it, causing collateral damage on the body basically?
A: ...Yeah? I have a bad feeling about this...
G: Ok now phobias are basically the mental version of this. When someone with a phobia of water sees water by example, he panics. And by panics I mean he can't breathe, thinks he's gonna die etc. Basically he is more afraid of this than anything else for most of the time no reason at all. And some of them have _some_ good reasons to exist, like fear of water because of drowning, fear of spiders because some of them bite... but there'll be like a thousand other types of phobias about anything not even remotely scary.
A: ... Ok...
G: And I want each of them to have names. Of course they have to be in relation with the fear so... Here's a few ideas...
Trypophobia: Fear of holes, unnecessarily known across the world despite it being pretty rare.
Arachnophobia: Fear of spiders.
A: Ok...
G: Hippopomonstrosesquipedaliophobia: fear of long words.
A: What the hell. Also didn't you want pneumonovolcanoconiosis to be the longest english word?
G: Yeah that's why it won't be in the dictionary. Anyway another phobia...
Aibohphobia: fear of palidromes.
A: What's a palidrome?
G: A word or number that reads the same forwards and backwards.
A: *Thinks a moment* ...Wait a minute. So...
G: Yes. Pain. Anyway I'll ask someone to make up random phobias because I don't have the time to make all of that. Just find someone and tell them I need A LOT of random phobias' names by tomorrow.
Man did NOT hunt the dodo to extinction. Records indicate a small number were hunted, but not enough to be critical to the population.
The dodo's extinction was a natural result of a foreign species reaching its island and out-competing the native. The dodo was too niche in its development to survive any kind of challenge; its extinction was a foregone and natural conclusion to any change in its habitat.
Alien Life
G: *Observes humans at war* Maybe I made these guys too hostile.
A: You think?
G: This spat isn't even about anything important, this all started because one guy called this other guy's mother in law ugly.
A: Imagine what will happen when they encounter something they can't understand.
G: ...Say Gabe, you know the little guys on planet number four?
A: The Martians?
G: Yeah let's move them to another star system and give these guys extra time to cool off.
A: Okay but that will separate the two species for at least several more millennia, what are they going to do in the mean time?
G: Hmmm, okay how about we advance their technological progress a whole bunch so space travel means nothing to them.
A: Why exactly?
G: So they can observe humans and determine if they are ready to meet.
A: Won't the humans freak out if they see space craft floating around the sky? You know humans get weird if they see an oddly shaped cloud.
G: *Snaps fingers* Brainstorm!
A: Uhhhhhhh, what now
G: Okay, we'll call it the History Channel!
So this thread is just Tenchi Souza Desig-but
I prefer the idea of a god who's too drunk to think coherently because he was traumatized by The Incomprehensible Nothingness and tries to forget about it over a god who simply doesn't give a damn about our suffering.
Kyrie Iesou Christe, Yie tou Theou, Eleison me ton amartalon. Amen.
Dang
Is there a god creates mythological creatures? Probably. So here's making my favorite mythological creature, the Skoffin!
G: okay okay... take a tabby cat and an arctic fox.
A: Okay... Do you... want them to-
G: Yes mash them together and make them have babies.
A: Okay, this could potentially be cute.
G: Give them an insanely high intelligence of both foxes and cats combined.
A: Oh! So it can be like a really good alternative to guide dogs right-
G: Now make the babies bury themselves for six months and come out with such a deadly sight that them just looking at a human kills the human.
A: -Sigh- Thought we finally had 'hybrid creatures' figured out here...
G: Oh oh make one situate itself on a church roof and stare at everyone coming in!
A: Wh-HUH??? Okay I'm clocking out for the day...
God: It won't fly.
Angel: So what's the purpose of even making it?
God: ...Are you familiar with some of the other birds I've made? Ostriches, penguins, emus... kiwi birds?
Angel: ok, fair point
-----------------------------------
God: Also, the tortoises?
Angel: Yeah?
God: Make some of them just... UNBELIEVABLY DELICIOUS.
also peregrine falcons are fucking awesome
Also swans mating for life isn't actually a thing, that's just a common misconception. Almost no birds are truly monogamous or truly 'mate for life', the only example I've heard of that truly mate for life and are truly monogamous are Black Vultures.
We live in God's creation
And God is an alcoholic
It me!
God finds out about the SCP foundation:
G: Hey, come get a load of this!
A: Alright, what seems to be the pro- WHAT IN YOUR NAME ARE THOSE?!
G: Fictional creatures made by the humans to terrify themselves
A: WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?!
G: I don't know, but it seems familiar...
*Later*
G: THEY STOLE MY JOURNAL!
This angel's name is Jeffrey...
G: Hey you know those clothes-eating butterflies I made a bit ago?
A: Where are you going with this?
G: Okay, make some of them vampires
A: *defeated sigh* Okay, sucking mouthpar-
G: Nonono! Keep their mouths the same and make it so they tear the skin open to get the blood!
A: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?
As a certified Echinoderm Nerd, I feel compelled to give you God Makes Sea Urchins:
God: hey, grab some of those plankton and make them look kinda like retro spaceships.
Angel: Not sure if we can call those retro yet but okay... is that it? Weird plankton.
God: Nah that's just the babies. You're gonna love the adults.
Angel: ... Okay.... I'm going to regret asking, but what are the adults like?
God: Five sides and covered in spikes.
Angel: Five... Sides?
God: FIVE! SIDES!
Angel: Okay but the babies only have two sides, how are you going to get them to grow three more?
God: I'm not.
Angel: Wh-
God: So the grown-up body is going to sprout from the left side of the baby like a tumor, grow til while all the non-adult parts of the baby die off, then burst out of the empty husk of it's infant self and go live on the seafloor. We're going to build the adult body all out of head genes.
Angel: ... Sir, are you doing okay?
God: Wonderful! Why do you ask.
Angel: Nevermind. So. Five-sided spike body made out of head genes and grows like a cancer. How does it move?
God: With its tube feet.
Angel: its tube feet.
God: Yes.
Angel: Feet that are tubes.
God: Exactly! oh, but it'll have them all over too. Top and bottom. And it can also move the spikes.
Angel: ... Okay, but we're going to need to make a special protein to move the spikes that loosens and hardens cartilage.
God: Fine by me, if we have any spare I'll just give it to the humans.
Angel: ... Do I want to know what they'll the extra need it for?
God: Childbirth.
Angel: ..... We'll talk about that one later. Any other... appendages, for these things?
God: Yes, tiny venomous stinging tentacles.
Angel: Like the jellies? the humans might not like that.
God: Oh don't worry, most of them will have a venom so mild the humans can't even feel it, and the few they can will still mostly be harmless.
Angel: what do you mean "mostly"?
God: ...
Angel: Let me guess, you want one that's actually excruciatingly painful and potentially deadly to touch, and you want it to live in Australia.
God: Actually, I was planning to put it off the coast of Japan. Do you think it would be better there?
Angel: NO-!! ... No, Japan is... good. Okay, what will they eat.
God: Mostly plants. Oh, and give them giant teeth on the bottom, that look like a lantern.
Angel: Okay, but how's the musculature going to fit-
God: Oh, they won't have muscles.
Angel: The won't have WHAT-
God: Or blood.
Angel: Why are you just bringing this up now!? How are they going to function!?!?
God: How're your engineering skills?
Angel: ... Pretty good, why-?
God: Because we're going to give them a vent to intake seawater and a system of pumps that rivals human pipe infrastructure and and make the ocean do everything blood and muscles would do. I don't want these guys to have any organs to fiddle with other than a gut and gonads.
Angel: ... You know they'll mostly be hollow right?
God: So?
Angel: Right... So uh, we're gonna need exit holes for those.
God: Put them right on the top of the creature. Give the ones that hurt but aren't deadly a blue and orange butthole.
Angel: Why?
God: Aesthetics.
Angel: and what color do you want them to be otherwise?
God: Well, those ones will be black, we'll make a few red and white, and I really think a lot of them will look good in purple.
Angel: They're... actually kinda pretty.
God: I know right? Just you wait til I get to the ones with a whole second skeleton they use as a womb!
Angel: Okay, that's it, no more animals for you til you get that Lovecraft guy you've been talking about making out of your system.
You laugh but this was probably close to what He thought when making these things.
God has a very _nonspecific_ sense of humor.
hi
Meow
What animal is being talked about at 2:20?
God created the world and all the alcohol that came about because of it. It’s like making brownies. You made those calories. You can eat as many as you want and not feel bad about it.
2:08 ....Sexual parasitism?
Anglerfish
‘ Creating crop rotation’
Angel : Hey, the humans are only growing one kind of food.
God: Make it so that the ground itself punishes them.
Angel: wouldn’t this make it so that some people starve.
God: make it so that if they plant a different plant that doesn’t consume the same nutrients, it will be fine.
Angel: I guess that diversify food.
(fun fact, crop rotation is in the Bible; which is one of the few good things about it.)
3h gang
4:55
God comes back to Swans.
God : I want to update Swans.
A : Okay... We were just about to put them out, but you're the boss.
God : That's right! Now. Instead of MATE for life, they PAIR for life.
A : What...what's the difference?
God : They mate freely, but they have one partner for their life who they share their nest and child raising responsibilities with.
A : ... Why?
God : It encourages genetic diversity and a closer social network.
A : Huh... Neat.
God : Now make AT LEAST a fifth of them gay!
A : But won't that cause them to breed less and result in less offspring?
God : No. Because, and here's the clever bit. Because they will adopt any orphaned or abandoned eggs and babies and give them an even better chance at survival!
A : That's... That's actually brilliant! Why don't we do that with Humans?
God : Technically, we have. Unfortunately, the tribal protection protocol doesn't always mesh with it.
I'm late, whoops I uh, man I don't know what to comment
Why do you people keep making God responsible for humans’ idiocy?
Last
1 view after 55 seconds PM you fell off so hard
😭