Future MIL inviting to the same restaurant is a red flag. Expecting OP paying the bill when it’s MIL invited OP, is another red flag. Not listening to her story is a third one. No need counting further, this relationship is doomed. Say thank you to the waitress for highlighting her future in laws flaws and run. Take your mom to the restaurant where you both are respected and looked after. Hopefully with new boyfriend.
OP is not wrong the waitress was very disrepectful from the very beginning than she switch it up when she seen her own people. The boyfriend needs to grow a spine and learn how to stand up to his mother when she is in the wrong. Here's the thing i always tip when i go out to eat but that's only because i get great service i don't care if the wait person is black white hispanic asian blue or yellow if i get great service i'm going to tip plain and simple if i get crappy service i'm not giving a tip, a tip is something that's earn not just giving also if the waitress would of just kept her mouth close she would have gotten a tip but she didn't and so she doesn't get one
For bad service I always leave 2 pennies and explain in a note that the service was poor at best and the reason you only leave 2 pennies is so they know you tipped and it wasn't forgotten even without a note
When the waitress made that comment at the end of the second dinner, she undid ALL the good service by the blatant disrespect. FMIL was clearly in the wrong.
I don't understand this tip culture in USA. It's an award, you give tip as a bonus. One mention about tip from waitress and she wouldn't get it from me just because of mentioning.
The normal federal minimum wage in the US for most workers is $7.25 / hour. For tipped workers, it is just $2.13 / hour. It is assumed that tips, combined with the $2.13 hourly rate, will equal or exceed the regular minimum wage. Those are the federal numbers. Individual states can set their own minimum wage rates as long as they meet or exceed the federal minimum wage.
@@annnichols3091 Not my problem, why I should pay their wages? When you start a job you know how much you earn. Doesn't like it -> look for another job, no force clients to pay wages.
I'm simple when it comes to the service I expect. I expect my food to arrive hot. I expect our sodas or coffees to be refilled at least three times. I expect extra napkins or sides that might of been forgotten to be brought fairly quickly and not when the meal is half finished. I do pay attention to how busy the place is and how many tables the wait staff may be serving. I'm not a complete animal. I usually start at 20%. Food takes too long to come to table, 5% lost. Less than three refills, another 5% lost. Poor attitude, another 5% lost. I understand people have bad days, but it's easier to smile than frown. Also my momma taught me right to say please with every request and thank you with every drop off to the table. But she also taught me that with absolute horrible service, only leave a nickel behind for a tip so they know you didn't forget the tip. OP had every right to hit 0% tip. But was the idiot for agreeing to FMIL wanting to go back to exact same place and same table a week later. FMIL pulling out the $100 tip... douche power play. OP should of said at the end of the call with FMIL, "Sorry you feel that way, but if you ever embarrass me again like that in front of my mother, the person I'm teaching a lesson to, or my soon to be husband, I'll ensure I cut those apron strings and make sure you never get to see any grandbabies!!!"
We in Poland leave a tip when waitress deserves that, because she is paid by her boss already. It’s not my business to pay her salary. She can get extra money from me for extra effort
Should of left after first comment, saying your not giving business to a company that employees racists and if BF agrees with his mummy then rethink the entire relationship, I wouldn't want to go along with MIL family if it means rewarding a racist to save face
These 2 families are incompatible. Their values are opposite: petty and revengeful vs polite and forgiving. Immediate end of this relationship recommended. And yes, TAH
One is petty vindictive racist and shallow, spshe cares more about appearances than the feelings and others. The kind if petty racist who's willing to drop a hundred to drive home the point that onl the way the white people are treated matters. The other was polite and forgiving
@@marta1799you said it for me, I normally tip too but if you straight up disrespect me especially if you shown no respect until her white boyfriend and his mom show up! Hell no that's straight up racism and she needs to be fired frfr.
You were wrong. The right thing to have done would have been to give a generous tip and let the waitress know that you heard what she said, but you were a better person than she was.
Future MIL inviting to the same restaurant is a red flag. Expecting OP paying the bill when it’s MIL invited OP, is another red flag. Not listening to her story is a third one. No need counting further, this relationship is doomed. Say thank you to the waitress for highlighting her future in laws flaws and run. Take your mom to the restaurant where you both are respected and looked after. Hopefully with new boyfriend.
Why didn’t boyfriends mom pay for the 2nd dinner as she was the one that invited everyone
Exactly!
Yes!!!
OP is not wrong the waitress was very disrepectful from the very beginning than she switch it up when she seen her own people. The boyfriend needs to grow a spine and learn how to stand up to his mother when she is in the wrong. Here's the thing i always tip when i go out to eat but that's only because i get great service i don't care if the wait person is black white hispanic asian blue or yellow if i get great service i'm going to tip plain and simple if i get crappy service i'm not giving a tip, a tip is something that's earn not just giving also if the waitress would of just kept her mouth close she would have gotten a tip but she didn't and so she doesn't get one
I'd never go back a 2nd time. I wouldn't trust her to not poison or sabotage my food.
Glad to see I'm not the only paranoid person 😂❤
So BF's muther makes a power move and tries to dominate OP from the start. A poor start to the relationship
We need an update. Whether OP conformed OR broke from toxic MILtobe + doormat BF?
For bad service I always leave 2 pennies and explain in a note that the service was poor at best and the reason you only leave 2 pennies is so they know you tipped and it wasn't forgotten even without a note
Is the boyfriend worth his mother?
Nope
When the waitress made that comment at the end of the second dinner, she undid ALL the good service by the blatant disrespect. FMIL was clearly in the wrong.
There are restaurants I haven't been back to after having something off happen. That is for years
I don't understand this tip culture in USA. It's an award, you give tip as a bonus. One mention about tip from waitress and she wouldn't get it from me just because of mentioning.
Were you aware that many US restaurants pay their waitresses less than minimum wage and those tips are supposed to make up for that?
The normal federal minimum wage in the US for most workers is $7.25 / hour. For tipped workers, it is just $2.13 / hour. It is assumed that tips, combined with the $2.13 hourly rate, will equal or exceed the regular minimum wage. Those are the federal numbers. Individual states can set their own minimum wage rates as long as they meet or exceed the federal minimum wage.
I don’t go out to pay someone else’s wages. I go out to eat dinner or have drinks and pay the amount that’s on the menu.
@@coolcatcola1 Then please don't go out to eat in the US.
@@annnichols3091 Not my problem, why I should pay their wages? When you start a job you know how much you earn. Doesn't like it -> look for another job, no force clients to pay wages.
I'm simple when it comes to the service I expect. I expect my food to arrive hot. I expect our sodas or coffees to be refilled at least three times. I expect extra napkins or sides that might of been forgotten to be brought fairly quickly and not when the meal is half finished. I do pay attention to how busy the place is and how many tables the wait staff may be serving. I'm not a complete animal. I usually start at 20%. Food takes too long to come to table, 5% lost. Less than three refills, another 5% lost. Poor attitude, another 5% lost. I understand people have bad days, but it's easier to smile than frown. Also my momma taught me right to say please with every request and thank you with every drop off to the table. But she also taught me that with absolute horrible service, only leave a nickel behind for a tip so they know you didn't forget the tip.
OP had every right to hit 0% tip. But was the idiot for agreeing to FMIL wanting to go back to exact same place and same table a week later.
FMIL pulling out the $100 tip... douche power play.
OP should of said at the end of the call with FMIL, "Sorry you feel that way, but if you ever embarrass me again like that in front of my mother, the person I'm teaching a lesson to, or my soon to be husband, I'll ensure I cut those apron strings and make sure you never get to see any grandbabies!!!"
❤
We in Poland leave a tip when waitress deserves that, because she is paid by her boss already. It’s not my business to pay her salary. She can get extra money from me for extra effort
I wonder if the boyfriend's family are black too? No matter; I don't see a future with those people if his mom has that attitude. Dump him now.
2:15 Should have cut it there ! Just there!
Should of left after first comment, saying your not giving business to a company that employees racists and if BF agrees with his mummy then rethink the entire relationship, I wouldn't want to go along with MIL family if it means rewarding a racist to save face
Don't bite the hand that feeds you 😒
These 2 families are incompatible. Their values are opposite: petty and revengeful vs polite and forgiving. Immediate end of this relationship recommended. And yes, TAH
One is petty vindictive racist and shallow, spshe cares more about appearances than the feelings and others. The kind if petty racist who's willing to drop a hundred to drive home the point that onl the way the white people are treated matters.
The other was polite and forgiving
??? Ask for the manager.
A penny
Ah you found a place that clearly bought their views. Nta. She was a jerk
Just tip and don’t go back
Tip is an award for good service. No good service=no tipping.
you said exactly what I wanted to say that a tip is for exemplary service, and not just unexpected amount on the table.
@@marta1799you said it for me, I normally tip too but if you straight up disrespect me especially if you shown no respect until her white boyfriend and his mom show up! Hell no that's straight up racism and she needs to be fired frfr.
You were wrong. The right thing to have done would have been to give a generous tip and let the waitress know that you heard what she said, but you were a better person than she was.
The staff/cooks share her tip. Deprive her you deprive them also.
Well, they can thank the rude waitress for it.
The MIL has no standards; inviting and not paying.
Not all places share tips and you can tip each separately if you wish.