Biden Has the Most Dangerous Dog of All Time
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- Опубліковано 21 лис 2024
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Video Edited and Colored by Jacob Menache
Recorded at Helium Comedy Club in Portland, OR
Hi Friends. Thanks for watching. Make sure to like and subscribe. I have shows coming up in Albany, Raleigh, Nashville, DC, Philly and more. Tickets are available at www.joshjohnsoncomedy.com/tour
Dude! Come to Chicago please!
Then after Chicago come down to Saint Louis!
You missed the chance to say one of them Bridges must go to terabithia
I will be at the DC show
Work that Portland having "organic crack" into a bit with Portland now offering "organic heroin"... that organic thing has legs either way.
The president's dog is out here Biden everybody.
*badumm tsss*
😂 I see what you did 😏
That joke deserves more likes. Top tier dad joke right there
@@pridezilla1132 Much appreciated. God bless.
😂😂😂
“Never said 24 people.” 😂
"Call my daddy old again"! Lol so funny
"you was talking all that good shd earlier" 😂
@@kennygwalk5328say it again😅😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣
I’ve got a Belgian Malenois…He’s actually a gentle dog that likes to play. He’s been my service dog for ten years. A nurse stepped on his paw and he nipped her. I can’t bring him in to the VA anymore. He’s retired now though…he’s got cranky old man vibes. Dawg life!
Laugh plant. I can't unhear it. 😂
i hope the person with a deep grandmotherly chuckle in the audience is having a great day
Yes
My exact thought.
I liked her too
The absolute CACKLE
Roseanne Barr in the front row
I'm voting Commander for president. Then he gets to bite who he wants.
He definitely gets immunity
+
More competent than either candidate
yessir
And the First Lady’s cat for VP!
Commander got that presidential pardon 24 times
I generally trust the judgement of dogs over people. Commander has his reasons.
Facts
Yep. And he lives among snakes in the grass! What else can be expected?😅
That's what I was thinking!
Most dogs don't bite people. Commander has behavioral issues.
Some dogs are friendly to everyone, others hate all strangers. It's not judgment about people, it's just temperament.
Yes there are cases when a friendly dog exercises judgment to protect its owner, but that isn't the case here.
@@rebeccahicks2392 Dogs definitely make judgements about people.
Everyone knows dogs are excellent judges of character. Commander thought they needed biting, good enough for me. 😂
Lol 😂
Yep. Without saying a word. 😂
"Call my daddy old again" 😂😂😂😂
I double dog dare you lol
xDDD omg no , but don't stop @@jackiesomoza58425t
Josh just MURDERED his first live Daily Show segment, I haven't heard the audience laugh that hard on any day that isn't a Monday. So proud of you, dude, can't wait to see you in the anchors' chair one day.
I love him on the Daily Show, too.
He’s killing it
He did well but come on.... calm down😂
When Jon is done doing his thing Josh would be a great permanent host for the show.
@@ROCKY-w5r 😑
All that taxpayer money spent on secret police when he got Commander 😂😂
frfr
Best defense ever.
😅😅😅
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Someone is cackling soo deliciously it stands out among the rest of the laughter. THAT is a person with joy in their heart. 😊
Yes! I came here to look for this. I don't understand people making jokes about the dog, you're in the comments of a freakin' comedian!
I always get a chuckle over the people who laugh so hard. I’m right there too! 😂
Sounds like they weren't respecting the chain of Commander.
🎯😄🤣
❤😂
Sounds like there should be less focus on the chain of Commander, and more focus on the chain ON Commander.
@@18Hongo Very Witty, I love cerebral humor 👍🧓
@@18Hongo Or just learn not to fuck with a dog that clearly has some behavioral issues. Some dogs are high strung, either from trauma or poor training. Commander couldn't handle being around that many new and strange people without getting aggressive. That's why he's no longer at the White House. It just wasn't a good environment for him.
Good thing his owner was a Democrat. A Republican may have just shot the dog.
Josh is the only comedian I've come across that's both a great storyteller and also doesn't recycle material.
Every comic recycles. They work their bits over time. Jokes change and evolve because of it. You just don't see it because you're not looking for it.
Right... so many comedians... i watch their old videos.. and it is the same stuff they are doing now...
ALL comedians ‘recycle’ material. Do you think that they come up with a new act for every place they tour? 😄😄
@@debbylou5729 I mean, Josh Johnson is literally doing that. He has like 15 minutes of new material every week on this channel while he's out touring.
@KOVIK yeah, few people can pull it off without working a bit through for the sake of flow and cohesion. Duncan Trussel, Theo Von, Tim Dillon... they often throw away material for the sake of a funny podcast moment or a LoL over dinner with friends.
I'm living for that lady's cackle!!!
I think she's the one at the end that exclamed, "THAT'S SO FUNNYYYY!" while cackling away LOL! She couldn't breathe LOL!
YES! I was about to comment how I love hearing quirky laughter that’s not just mine..
She has a “beer hall” laugh 😂 The kind of laugh you can hear ALL the way across the beer hall 🤣😂🤣
“Just get through it” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 God, my neighbors are gonna call the police on me for laughing so loud 😂
She sounds like Dulce Sloan!
I’ve grown up with German shepherds and have lived with them most of my adult life.
Commander is being a German Shepherd. They are very protective of their person and may be a tad neurotic by nature.
Commander is a dog with an atypical human and daily finds himself in an atypical environment with many strange people who give off various degree of “dangerous” and he wants to protect his pack.
He’s being exactly what he was made to be. Not saying it’s okay that he bit and most well trained Shepherds don’t have that problem, but they’re not in the White House either.
Absolutely! 😊
I trust my dog more than I trust people so 😅
Commander is a good boy! 😂
He can’t help it that the White House staff all seem like reasonable threats lol
Not the staff! He's pretty much only bitten Secret Service members. Just saying.
@@FiresCollide He must be able to tell that they're trying to pretend to be something they aren't
holy fuuuuk @@FiresCollide
Not his fault OR his problem. 😂😂😂
@@FiresCollide well they did fail to catch him falling down stairs multiple times, they are servicing no one
"I have not been here long. All of Portland happened to me today." 😂😂
I moved here 15 years ago, and I'm realizing how desensitized I've become, but the first day I got here this is EXACTLY the feeling. I've sat in the weirdo stew for too long.
We got more bridges than anybody. Deal with it!
Commander is probably just 100% pissed off because the secret service keeps letting Joe fall down!
Probably more pissed off that they let Joe hang around Commander nude, sexually harrassing it
Nah, Commander is angry because some of those goons supported chump on January 6th! He knows who the baddies are!
@@leoscheibelhut940If your dog bit more than a couple of people it would be taken away from you and put down and you would most likely have multiple lawsuits against you.
@@johnn.2017 If the president has the power to pardon a turkey every year, then the prez has the power to pardon a dog 100%.
@@adafrost6276to be fair the president isn’t pardoning turkeys convicted of battery or assault. He just picks a random turkey and says “you do not need to die.” Then tons of other turkeys are slain.
Commander has mostly only bitten secret service and after that insurrection, he might be on to something 👀
Yup
Didn’t one of his dogs have to be sent home for biting?
@ladyjaysindeore1113 Yes, Commander. That's what the video and the comment you're responding to are about.
@@Wolfgang8-Y I thought it had been a different dog that had been sent home. Wasn’t aware they let him return. My bad
@@ladyjaysindeore1113 that would be Major
I love Commander is pre-emptively protecting the Commander in Chief. That's some top tier dedication to your job.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
The commander in chief does not even know what’s going on around him, Commander has zero guidance 😂
"One of those bridges gotta go to Narnia"
My mans don't know about Terabithia
I read that book in school 😭
I suspect he does. I wouldn't want to kill the vibe with Terabithia.
Been looking for this comment 😅
Yeah, but that bridge is on the other side of the city.
👏👏👏
Love the ladys lough, she was having a time
Yes! Almost sounds like Dulce, a hearty laugh
I thought it was Dulce! 😂
Right 😂😂. That would've been me too
The suggestion that makes most sense to me is that Commander is very protective and the secret service has definitely got some people still on staff that are loyal to the former guy (see: the fact that all the secret service texts from 1/5 and 1/6 got deleted 'somehow') and Commander can tell what's what.
Ooo didn't know bout them texts 👀
he is only biting secret service personnel. that is a bit odd. if he was a reactive dog he would have bit other people on staff in WH.
@@sohininandi5742 Dogs can sense stress and anxiety. Secret Service is almost always on high alert because they have to be. My English Mastiff can sense my anxiety and whines/barks at me about it (which makes it worse 😂).
Dogs do read pictures (you know, the imagery in a person's mind) and may be sensing intention.
The dog knows the ss is full of ppl that aren’t protecting
I would just like to say that Commander only bites the Secret Service. That dog knows when dudes around his human are sus. Josh: "I'm sure they're very good at their jobs." Me: 😬
Iirc the going theory is that most of the Secret Service are Maga types because that's just what the job attracts, and Commander can tell that they REALLY hate Biden.
I believe the general message was "there are TWO 80yos in that building that those dogs are around constantly, and neither of them ever get knocked over by an overenthusiastic pup? That dog knows what it's doing and is completely intentional about it."
This is a very German Shephard thing too, bred into the line.
If an otherwise chill GS doesn't like someone, trust the dog not the person.
We only know about the attacks on Secret Service because someone filed a Freedom Of Information Act. The FOIA didn't cover anyone else that might've been attacked by that dog at Camp David, the White House staff, etc.
Secret Service are beefy guys with guns and a past career in uniform. I guarantee most of them are rooting for the other guy. Commander knows.
@@nosuchthingasshould4175 Yeeep. There's a reason why it was widely reported when he was elected that Biden didn't trust the old SS left over from Trump and installed his own trusted agents around him.
Just my opinion, but I think Josh Johnson is the funniest man in America.
I think he is like a young Chapelle but funnier than Chapelle at that age. Love his comedy!
He's quite intelligent and good looking to boot!
Yes he is up and coming. Just don't put on the dress
@@blackhawk9113 or use the N word. He's funny without using it like too many of the other top black comics
and it’s not even close tbh
I’ve been watching this young man for a decade or so, and he just keeps getting better and better and better! And he doesn’t really repeat himself.
❤❤❤❤❤
It's TRUE! It makes me sad when I like a particular comedian and when I try to look them up it's the same jokes in different settings. Josh just gives me the vibe that we're just co workers having a conversation on break or something 😅 The delivery just flows so naturally.
Has he been doin comedy that long?
He's like 24...
Yep, he doesn't repeat, but he does build on his own themes. Does anyone remember the bit about his friend's anxious emotional support dog that yelps like a human? I swear this man is playing 4 dimensional comedic chess.
@@kingdavid_esq he's 34 🌟
Commander probably walk with his head high and teeth showing 😂
Dogs have a keen sense as to evil mofos lurking in the WH!
As a Portlander…I love my city, but I will admit…you’re right! We absolutely Keep It Weird!!! 😂😂😂
I believe you. Your profile pic is a vibe.
As another person from the area...yeah. I kind of miss it, honestly.
They should be biting Biden then
He bit the secret service members mostly, he's a rescue, I don't think they handled him properly
@@jennifercoleman6218 probably has issues with sudden unexpected movements, that can be a thing in rescues AND a thing in old dogs who's vision is going. I can imagine a secret service dude accidentally "sneaking up" and startling the old dog.
You can tell that the city likes bridges, there is a picture of one behind him. 😂
2. Lol
Commander is removing traitors and insurgents. 😂😂
That 1 lady having the time of her life. Same sis😭🙏🔥🇿🇦
I loved listening to this crowd responding to you. Those folks sound fun!
The organic crack one though 😂
Commander is actually a trained protection dog. He def had his reasons for biting who he bit.
On another note, you are absolutely hilarious! I just came across you about a week ago and have pretty much binged your content! Laughs I’ve needed for sure!💙💙
That dog 'is not about that life'🔥🔥🔥🔥
Second dog that’s biting Secret Service members. It sounds like the Secret Service is doing something wrong.
Finally a commander that takes a bite out of crime
Boy this man can make material out of ANYTHING!😂
thank you person in the audience for your contagious laugh 😂❤
Everyone should be allowed to bite if a stranger tries to pet you. 😂
🙂😉😄😆🤣🤣
When I was pregnant Lordy knows I wanted to!
Mood….
@@JB-bm1toI might have. Those last 4 weeks are a blur
@@kathymisuraca5047 🤣🤣 I feel you sis!
OHMAHGAH the dead stare side step package adjustment "Call my daddy old agin..." This will haunt me in the best/worst most inappropriate situations moving forward. Bless you, Josh!
I'm pretty sure Commander was only responsible for half of those bites...
The other half Commander is covering for somebody.
Omg I can't wait! Josh is the ONLY person I'll turn notifications on for.
Same 😂
He's only one of 2 people for me LOL!
@@Taricuswho’s the other?
Commander only biting the ppl who shudnt be there 😂😂😂. He can smell the bull
My Morning tea is on the floor now thank you 😂😂😂 Dont pull back on me !! 😂😂😂😂
I visited Portland for the first time last year and his description was so spot on! “Organic crack” had me dying!
Dogs are very smart. They can sense things we cant. Commander is probably defending his dad. What a good boy 😊
"Side conversations with death" made me spit my coffee across my keyboard 😂😂😂😂
Alright, you convinced me. I’ll vote for Biden so Commander gets a redemption arc
🤣🤣
My thoughts exactly. Both candidates suck, but more commander stories are far better than what we had with the previous admin.
I like having groceries. 😬😬😬
@@MeanBeanComedy try being European then. Their rate of inflation is higher with a trump facsimile in office….
@@MeanBeanComedyblame the companies for price gouging because it’s not just here it’s everywhere
Side conversations with death 😂😂😂
You're doing such a GREAT job Sir . Thank you for your time and your talent. Laughter heals . 🇺🇸👍
The only comedian that actually makes me LOL. Usually I laugh but only in my head!
I'm with Commander. I think he's biting people who don't like Biden.
That's starting to include members of his own party.
So everybody?
Yea Biden gets a lot more hate than he deserves considering the mess he walked into 😊
@@Tired.but.trying the US has been a mess ever since Raegan stepped into the white house with his "trickle down" economics.
Or bad people. I trust the dog. Lol
I’m convinced Commander is the reincarnation of either the raccoon that the Coolidge family had or Alice Roosevelt- back to cause chaos in the Whitehouse and live their best life
Bruh! 🤣🤣🫡 Iykyk
Let's be honest. It's prolly Alice
Rosemary Kennedy
Josh, you're amazing, you're delivery, timing, you deserve All the best in life.❤
That’s right. Commander is Ten Toes Down for Biden. 😂
16 toes down? 😂
(dogs have 4 toes per paw)
@@TiggerIsMyCat I just Googled it. They have 5 “fingers” on each front paw and 4 “toes” on each rear paw. 🤣 Commander is 18 Toes Down. That’s what I call a Ride or Die….
@@merp9211 It depends on whether you count the dew claw as a toe. It is the remnant of the 5th toe, but I don't think I'd personally count it as one now. But it's debatable
@@TiggerIsMyCat That’s fair🤔🤷🏽♀️
I had a dog who had extra toes...
Commander knows ain't none of those people right!
An auduence with a sense of humor is priceless! Makes the show better for everyone involved, even us youtubers ❤
Just made me like the dog more. 😂😂
Cant believe the commander joke was 10 minutes amazing
Commander is a RESCUE remember that! You never know what he went through BEFORE and i will say they SHOULD have put him through obedience classes
They did put him through extensive training.
I’m with you on the name. Remember the times when it was a dog named Bo or a cat named Socks? Non threatening animal names!
I was reading an article about Joe Biden once, a long time ago, and it mentioned "Commander Biden". I thought....when did Joe Biden serve in the military?...I don't remember him ever saying he served in the military. It hit me though, don't worry....I got it.
Yeah, but when the WH pet was Eric Trump it definitely lost a bit of the charm.
Call my daddy old again is😊 definitely something a dog would say😂
So glad we got to see you in person at this show! You’re so prolific with your work. It’s AMAZING how many news stories you turn into material so quickly, then post it, and move on to more relevant new stuff every week.
💪🤓👍
Commander: " call my daddy old again"...🤣🤣🤣🤣💯
It's hard to find someone funnier than Josh. It always makes my day to see a new video.
That woman laughing was hilarious 😂
Commenting on this , far in advance, shows the world that even time travelers get messed up by daylight savings time and this needs to stop.
He bites secret service for never catching his daddy when he falls 😂❤
12 bridges. Laughs in Pittsburghese😂
Ngl a little confused by this; he lives in nyc; 17 bridges and 4 tunnels to manhattan alone…
@@08ranaiuwhat’s the population of Portland?
@@GirmaKassa-ip7httouché
So happy to see you and stand up it's been awhile. You are remarkably talented, charismatic and your timing is unmistakably the finest I've witnessed with any comic in years. Hope to see you in one of your upcoming performances
The bridge in the background 😂
“I didn’t do the reading” such an honest approach 😂
Duuuuuuuuuuuude. You fantastic. Taking over the scene for very many & very many greats about too / may be in need of retiring. You lock in on some great and subtle and killer insights...near in real time. Your timing & also social timing with delivery etc is just forever listenable, fun, funny and great. Thank you.
Hope to see you in April 2025
2024 .. yet, 2025 is still cool
@@silentdecaythat Shawn you knew when comedy is good when people time travel just to rewatch it.
Just wondering if anyone else saw at the 8:14 mark an extremely fast moving shadow figure dart thru the audience. Maybe it was Commander looking for his next bite. Whatever it was, it was booking it.
Yessss😂They’re German shepherds; bred to protect. And there are men with guns approaching his human…although 24 times wow
“You was talking all that good shit earlier” 😂😂😂
It sounds like Dulce is in the audience 😂 Someone with a great laugh is having the time of her life! This is a great show & the joyous laughs make it even more fun. Thanks for a fun time, it’s a great way to recover from a crappy day. Grateful❤
“You’re tryna block blessings” got me 😂
Ill save this for 2 a.m. while I'm at work and need a laugh.
Did you not forget to watch this at 2AM?
@@HereGoesKevin did I remember to watch it?
@@CStuekey87yo update us man
Ooh. I am not the only one working the night shifts.😊
@@cashmoney2898 there are dozens of us! Dozens!
Organic crack. Cracked me up.. pun intended. Very funny 😂😂😂 love you. Peace and joy to ya’all. You are the best
I was at this show, the KFC bit took the cake for me personally. Brought the house down. Great show Josh!
Someone's laugh sounds like Dulce's
I was there too. It was a great set!
I was in the second row for this show DIRECTLY next to the drunk guy with the cackling laugh. And behind the woman who kept raising her hand but Josh was fantastic. I’ll definitely get tickets when he comes back!
I see why you’re a writer for the Daily Show. Geesuz you’re funny.
Bridge City my guy 😂
I lived there for over 8yrs when I did research, & you pegged that place perfectly Josh!! 😁
I love some Commander lol! ❤ Keep that energy!
It's been great watching your comedy grow over the years as you yourself have. Keep on keepin on .Much respect.
Josh is a legend in the making
How can you not love this guy?!
"Things are kinda odd here...we know!" 😂😂😂 I'm crying!!!
Josh...12 Bridges of Portland is a book begging to be written by Nicholas Sparks. 😂😂😂
This was a terrific set! 🔥🔥🔥
I wish I could have made it up to Portland to see you! You were so close yet so far, lol. And the crack isn't organic but our meth is locally sourced. 😂
What makes the bridge segment funnier is the fact that there is a picture of a bridge behind him😂
He has the skill to hear his audience, to Pace his audience, to take the pulse of His listeners, and he RESPECTS his peers. He is truly a SUPER STAR in my ledger! Respectfully submitted for your consideration Gregg Oreo Long Beach CA Etats Unis
11:43 one of those bridges goes to Tarabithia 😂
Just 12 bridges? Come to Pittsburgh and find out how many we have lol. Could be called bridgeburgh 🤣😂
your bridges PALE in comparison, Portland bridges are works of art I EAT YOUR BRIDGES
Portland bridges seem like they're all next to each other!
Commander Biden really be hearing "Bite em" when being properly addressed
Check out the number of bridges Pittsburgh has..... they have 446. the most bridges in the world. Organic crack LOL
Hey now, only like 28 of them cross the rivers 😆
Your bridges suck. Portland bridges are supreme. Your guys studied our bridges to make your. (Lighthearted)
LOL I don't even live there, another comedian did a bit about it when he was in Pittsburg. I think there are only a few bridges where I live.@@Bernie_is_eepy
That organic Crack joke took me completely out 😂😂😂
@@LiveNoobster I have lived in Oregon a number of years ago and I can absolutely see that to being true. Hahaha!
Can we get Biden and Commander on The Dog Whisperer? I want to see that episode!!😂
I'd totally watch this! 😂
That's what I'm sayin'!
Josh come to canadaaaaa! I mean wait until it’s summer , but you should definitely pop in up here 😁
Watching this with my feisty chihuahua in the room and praying she doesn’t speak enough english to be inspired by Commander’s legacy 😭