Wow that was fast, completing this video! Thanks for your insights, I think you addressed quite a few interesting topics: clothing, eating etc. Especially the insights on age and related improvements and issues. I recognise many traits, except for the sleep issues, which our daughter has not. She exhaust herself so much, she has always slept well. Not that she wants to go to bed of course, but after in bed she can be gone in minutes. Maybe it is not coupled for all pda-ers. I recognise that we may be doing some things wrong in the light of parenting a pda child. However it seems against our own person communicating straightforward, or being very organised, for instance. Or with a limited patience... Although her often screaming also are difficult to cope with with my own sensory sensitivities. So something needs to change. So it seems still difficult to figure out how to find some way to address het and our needs as well.
Parenting a PDA child required a total shift in my perspective about how to be a parent. Often I felt like I should do things a certain way because that's the way I have been told it needed to be done to make sure my child was healthy. So making her learn that she must brush teeth before bed and limited screen time was my thoughts. That was all wrong. PDA children have a threat response when they sense any force. This can mean screaming, throwing, hitting or running, elaborate excuses, ignoring. When moving from one thing to another their nervous system needs to be regulated by you as a safe person or a tool like a tablet or a game. My daughter has to watch her tablet a lot to move through demanding tasks such as brushing hair and teeth and eating. It sounds like you have a sensory seeker which is common with Autistic kids not all but some. Having lots of tools to regulate like swings or areas for jumping is very good for sensory seekers. My son is a sensory seeker and he literally climbed walls at bed time until he passed out. Hopefully your child continues to find ways to sleep well because it does really help the rest of the challenges be easier. Low demand parenting by Amanda Diekman is often recommended. I haven't read it because I think I get the low demand lifestyle concept but you might look into that. Every child is different but the goal is to parent with connection and any effort to parent with power is not usually successful. These children are meant to make us deconstruct typical parenting, education and capitalism itself. But they can be very confronting!
Thank you for your elaborate and insightful response. The approach and examples how you approach the daily routines, e.g. with a tablet seems very interesting. The sensory seeker concept indeed makes a lot of sense. Never heard/read of it before though. The examples you mention with it are spot on things that she likes. I have to read this a few more times as there's so much information, and also because English is not my native language, it takes some time to digest. Anyway, you showed me several ways, and why, my parenting efforts can change&improve.
I love the ending! :D Thanks for sharing, it's very accurate. "It's time to ..." would turn my stomach regularly as a child. And as an adult PDAer I resonate so much with societal expectations being a demand and therefore a threat. It's great what you do for your daughter. And your whole family. And it's so sweet how your face lit up after the had bus stopped, probably when you saw your daughter. =)
I am glad that an adult PDA person like yourself resonated with this. I am still learning about PDA despite having a few of them in my life. I always want to learn more because you all are very different than is natural to me. As I talked about this video with my partner he decided he was ready to go for an interview with me. So I am uploading that today. I hope that makes you feel seen too. I think PDA Autistic people are very underrepresented in Autistic content and it is important to get everyone's experience out there.
Wow that was fast, completing this video! Thanks for your insights, I think you addressed quite a few interesting topics: clothing, eating etc. Especially the insights on age and related improvements and issues.
I recognise many traits, except for the sleep issues, which our daughter has not. She exhaust herself so much, she has always slept well. Not that she wants to go to bed of course, but after in bed she can be gone in minutes. Maybe it is not coupled for all pda-ers.
I recognise that we may be doing some things wrong in the light of parenting a pda child. However it seems against our own person communicating straightforward, or being very organised, for instance. Or with a limited patience... Although her often screaming also are difficult to cope with with my own sensory sensitivities. So something needs to change.
So it seems still difficult to figure out how to find some way to address het and our needs as well.
Parenting a PDA child required a total shift in my perspective about how to be a parent. Often I felt like I should do things a certain way because that's the way I have been told it needed to be done to make sure my child was healthy. So making her learn that she must brush teeth before bed and limited screen time was my thoughts. That was all wrong. PDA children have a threat response when they sense any force. This can mean screaming, throwing, hitting or running, elaborate excuses, ignoring. When moving from one thing to another their nervous system needs to be regulated by you as a safe person or a tool like a tablet or a game. My daughter has to watch her tablet a lot to move through demanding tasks such as brushing hair and teeth and eating. It sounds like you have a sensory seeker which is common with Autistic kids not all but some. Having lots of tools to regulate like swings or areas for jumping is very good for sensory seekers. My son is a sensory seeker and he literally climbed walls at bed time until he passed out. Hopefully your child continues to find ways to sleep well because it does really help the rest of the challenges be easier. Low demand parenting by Amanda Diekman is often recommended. I haven't read it because I think I get the low demand lifestyle concept but you might look into that. Every child is different but the goal is to parent with connection and any effort to parent with power is not usually successful. These children are meant to make us deconstruct typical parenting, education and capitalism itself. But they can be very confronting!
Thank you for your elaborate and insightful response. The approach and examples how you approach the daily routines, e.g. with a tablet seems very interesting. The sensory seeker concept indeed makes a lot of sense. Never heard/read of it before though. The examples you mention with it are spot on things that she likes.
I have to read this a few more times as there's so much information, and also because English is not my native language, it takes some time to digest.
Anyway, you showed me several ways, and why, my parenting efforts can change&improve.
I love the ending! :D
Thanks for sharing, it's very accurate.
"It's time to ..." would turn my stomach regularly as a child.
And as an adult PDAer I resonate so much with societal expectations being a demand and therefore a threat.
It's great what you do for your daughter. And your whole family.
And it's so sweet how your face lit up after the had bus stopped, probably when you saw your daughter. =)
I am glad that an adult PDA person like yourself resonated with this. I am still learning about PDA despite having a few of them in my life. I always want to learn more because you all are very different than is natural to me. As I talked about this video with my partner he decided he was ready to go for an interview with me. So I am uploading that today. I hope that makes you feel seen too. I think PDA Autistic people are very underrepresented in Autistic content and it is important to get everyone's experience out there.
@@christinadonnelly781Oh, can't wait to watch that. :)