As much as I hate Churchill, he said one very important line: "You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life."
You are so right! It's very common these days that people will call others over sensitive and justify disrespect and cruel comments as honesty. Being honest does not grant one to be a jerk. Sometimes it's not what you say but how you say it. All the conflict that arises could be avoided if people would stop and ask themselves why does this hurt the other person or will this hurt someone and simply accept that we hurt people unintentionally and seek forgiveness.
I can deal with explicit hate. It's when you see someone as a good friend, and later find out they've bad-mouthed you behind your back, or "thrown you under a bus" in order to save themselves... That hurts.
Hate is almost always driven by jealousy and envy. The thing is - the hater has a low threshold. He can be jealous of a person - usually close to him - who has nothing. He may be jealous of that person's contentment. Or he may be jealous of that person's stoic resolve facing a financial crisis. A hater is jealous of how another person looks, talks, walks...you name it. Hatred is like a recurring disease. The person infected is never entirely cured. Although it is important to forgive the hater, it is also important to protect yourself from the hater's disease.
Im struggling at school because of doing youtube. More and more people are trying to pull me down but I try not to let it get me. This really helped me thank u
Kyurin Diary Don't these people have anything better to do really? I mean if I see something I don't like fine maybe comment with my friends. But some people go extremely out of their way to mock any little thing they don't like. It's pretty sick.
the narrator sounds like a gay catholic pastor. first he experienced the hatred of his uncle who raped him and made him sexually confused. then he fell into bad company with the men in the bushes after dark. the regret and self-loathing filled him with hatred of all gays. after years of living with self-hatred, he found a way to alleviate it by projecting his personal shit onto others -- in the form of these videos.
AJ Steele, exactly man that’s same problem I’m facing. But as more and more people start to act like that towards I can’t help but feel that the fault lies within me even if they really did misjudge me....
@@rishimandava1259 it is a vicious cycle . We must remember though that we are NOT always wrong . People suck, and sometimes they hate just because they don’t like our face. It’s absolutely true .Psychology won’t tell you that .
@@Earthtime3978 yeah, its best not to let people get to you, not without reason. i only hate people who are evil, who deserve hatred, not that i ever tell them so lol
Wow, this video moved me to tears. The School of Life is teaching us lessons that we wish our parents would have taught us. Thank you so much for this beautiful and insightful video.
Whenever you attempt to do something in life that others don't want too see you succeed in because they can't do it themselves, they'll always find a way to bring you down. People like to see you do well, but never better than them. So if people don't like you, keep doing what you're doing, and do it better than you did yesterday.
There was a child at my school that valued education. He was constantly bullied by practically everyone. After years of torment he went on to complete highschool at seventeen years of age. I always thought of him as weak, and a coward. Then I learned that he killed himself a few days ago, guess I was right. Life is like a pit full of snakes. Either stop being such a pussy and confront them, or perish. Nothing matters in the end though, if that comforts you.
Haters, motivate me to work harder to shove my success up their ass! They could of be successful in their field if they didn't waste their time in hating people...
+J Lieu you're not ugly, your face is just an empty signifier :D one day you'll meet amazing people who will give that empty signifier a really cool meaning.
I believe hate is an inability to see two sides of a situation and is something that is found in those who are unable to think any further than their own skin. And while I personally could never hurt someone intentionally, a large majority of people feel it to be an acceptable form of behavior; a lack of understanding and basic intelligence being the root in my opinion. It's an unfortunate situation.
"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life." -Winston Churchill Just a reminder that no matter what you stand for, someone will take issue with that. However, that doesn't negate that you should stand for something, sometime in your life.
Something I try to remember: If an insult holds no truth, it can be disregarded. If an insult holds truth, it's a lesson. It hurt when an ex called me gutless and defensive, but years on I realise I've been a coward at important times in my life and I used to be very defensive. I dunno how accepted that lesson is, or where I read it or if i came up with it myself, but I try to remember it when I feel attacked.
@Carson Barlow That strategy works if power dynamics are equal. But what happens if you want or need something from the other person. For example, a restaurant refusing to serve someone black or gay or Christian? They have a right to their opinion, but we still live in a society and are dependent on others. We all have a right to our opinion, but in my mind, I think we do owe each other basic respect. I guess, another way to deconstruct this is - hateful actions are not okay. Hateful thoughts are.
How to be a person, Rule number 8: Do not fear to be hated, but be cautious towards those inhabited by hate. You will be hated, regardless of who you are, what you say or what you do, you be hated for your successes, or your failures, for good looks, or bad looks, for intelligence or stupidity. Hate is the child of the hater, nurtured by the beliefs it is fed, you often will have no control over what you are hated for. Know that antipathy becomes the master of it's owner, Know that if you are going to be hated regardless of who you are, then be fearless enough to be who you want to be. Hate is no more eloquently articulated than in the poetry of the expression- "Not your fuckin' problem." ~Shane Koyczan, How to be a person
@@israaabdelfatah2978 It's OK. That makes you have a lot of empathy and understanding towards other toxic haters because you know exactly how they feel
@@israaabdelfatah2978 I used to be a terrible gossip and one day just decided to stop doing it because it was childish, mean and negative. I would slip back into the habit time to time but eventually was able to stop the behavior by limiting the people I would engage in the behavior with. Maybe you can try to apply it too. Just work to stop the behavior. When you find yourself "hating" on people attempt to disengage.
As the early 21st century philosopher Swift said: "'Players gonna play, play, play, play, play. Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it off, I shake it off."
It hurts when someone who you called a friend walks straight past you without saying hi because they think your not as good as them anymore. I'm just quiet, I never hated them.
Im scared of haters because im afraid they might physically hurt me. But i found that people won't do that anymore and even if they do, i can always fight back - im 5"1 and i learned that no matter how small i am, strength is from within . I hope this helps others who feel the same way.
Whenever I'm faced with hate I always ask myself what do I think of this person. In most cases I think of the person who hates me as insignificant and foolish, or sometimes they may have stupid beliefs that made them the way they are. When someone is insignificant their opinion about me is insignificant too. As said in the video, you become vulnerable to hate if you thought that what the haters say is true.
Haters are so common these days, sometimes people just assume that all of their critics are haters by nature. People need to be more open to criticism.
critics can offer some insight to their claim, but what matters most is I think for one to keep an open mind. If no point can be reached then both party can just settle on being disagree and leave it just that.
Criticism is ok, but when it moves into deliberately harming another person, and feeling entitled to do so, then you have hatred. Such people exist and can ruin other people's lives because, usually they don't like what they see in the mirror. It's self-hatred, that they are trying to extinguish by destroying another.
(THIS IS NO GENERALIZATION) but, In my experience it mostly happens in America, tho it does happens too in Asian countries, but not as often in America, Asian people seemed to be more empaths and kind people, while Americans are viewed as cold hearted and judgmental, even if you come to India where they say people are narrow minded, it's still nothing compared to American judgements, Indians are a lot more accepting of others religion and Complains Less in life, Americans on the other hand, are the opposite (BASED ON EXPERIENCE)
thank you for this. I've been hated for finally standing up for myself to the one that is taking advantage of my feelings. and now I feel down of all the hates that he is throwing to me. I guess its okay to be hated when you had enough.
+Isabel Itoga When someone makes a comment that is vulgar and offensive, like "homa master" did, then you need to give it zero value. That's what this video is all about. If you were to meet a vulgar person on the street then you'd quietly move away from him as to not have an interaction. Never engage with someone who is a hater for the sake of being a hater - because if you do then you'll never win. You'll lose the psychological battle.
+M2brSaA that is a very valid point you have brought up. i indeed agree with you that I myself should have left him alone. i was also at fauot for replying to his comment but it was a compulse of mine and for not thinking it through i apologise. Thank tou for bringing this point up
"If one was truly wise insightful and mature, one could never want to make another person collapse internally" that's so true! it's a relief to hear it in this channel
I know this is the Internet and you'll get assholes and stuff talking on the Internet, but this video needs to be trending. people need to learn from this video. I will go by this video when I try to correct someone for the rest of my life.
+Abdulkarim Elnaas same. Every now and then, I do forget that solution, especially on the Internet. But, at least, I'm giving it my full effort, and that's all that matters.
I've dealt with this with my grandmother. She seemingly despises me and it's not in my mind. She judges me with her piercing eyes and I sometimes overhear her unflattering conversations about me. I tried to defeat this with love by bringing her food on a daily basis and watching sports with her (she's a sports fanatic) For some unexplained reason, her opinion mattered to me for the longest and my self perception was largely influenced by her personal assessment of who I am and how well my life is today in terms of success. I'm a believer so I decided that God's opinion of me is more important, and since then I've actually dismissed her opinions. Who cares? The negative side is the obvious distance that I've perpetuated since freeing my self from her sight. I rarely visit or call and I really don't feel bad about it. Slight guilt but manageable. I'll pray for more patience and love so I can be around her without letting her judgmental ways effect me.
Oh I am hated 24/7 and its never going to change! The dirty stares and scowl looks and sheer hatred burning in their eyes and their hatred new no bounds and I am still made fun of and I hope I die really soon!
I’ve been haunted by nightmares about travelling back to high school years and everyone hated me, although they’re just dreams i find them really frustrating and frightening. Puzzled by my own emotions, here I am scratching for an explanation.
I have never had enemies before. People have hated on me but I always apologized and brushed it off. That's how everyone should do it. Whenever someone has a problem with me I just say "look I dont know why you are mad at me and I don't care to listen but I am deeply sorry for whatever I have done." One of the best ways to avoid confrontation.
Thank you for uploading this video. I feel like everyone hates me. I mean I am not a bad person but I do have an opinion just like everyone else. And I am trying my very best to open up to people, but they still reject me and I am still alone. And I get hated on YT so much because I voice my opinion, these trolls continue to thumbs down my videos and when I see all these dumb videos getting thumbs up and thousands of subscribers, I keep thinking: "What am I doing wrong?" I am putting myself out there, and my videos are one of the many ways I express myself. And I decided to disable comments and ratings because I am sick of the trolls just spreading hate on my videos. I can take criticism, however to hate me without even know me or speaking to me in the flesh is just ridiculous. I have had to delete my Facebook account and limit my Twitter use. And now it seems like I will have to limit my UA-cam activity. Why am I hated so much?
Perhaps you aren't hated by anyone at all besides yourself? Do you love yourself? Often times we think others dislike us because we dislike ourselves. We don't trust others because we can't trust ourselves. You seem to be a very sensitive person, which is fine. I think it's important to know that all truth is relative and there is no grand truth to anything. Whatever you do is perfectly fine as long as you believe that you yourself are worthy of feeling that way. I invite you to look inwards and really investigate how you feel about yourself, come to terms with these feelings, and appreciate them for what they are which is a part of you. Also, hating on the internet is far easier than in person. In person, people usually get tense or awkward or they change their minds about you when you confront them in person about it. The video is trying to, I think, explain the fact that people who claim to "hate" us are usually just damaged people themselves and need to find a way to vent out their own frustrations. This is much easier online and it usually has nothing to do with your character. People who take the time to criticize you calmly and rationally are at ease with themselves and don't feel a need to make you feel awful about yourself just to get a point across that you might want to consider changing something about yourself. I encourage you to keep making videos, keep expressing yourself, and keep putting yourself out there. That's basically what life is all about.
In my world at least, the apathy or passive-aggressiveness of people is a much larger problem than hatred. A video about that would be more pertinent. Also, does anyone ever deserve to be hated? Because there are people that were in my life that I strongly disliked. I tried to direct my emotions toward their actions and thereby avoid hating the person themselves, but I eventually came to the conclusion that people are the sum of their actions and one can not separate what people do from who they are. I enjoy the idea of a righteous anger. It's the type of anger you feel at an injustice. If you're not careful though, it does quickly turn into worse things like hate. The key is empathy. Balancing the righteous anger -- which stems from empathizing with the victim -- and mercy -- which is like empathizing with the perpetrator.
Someone once asked me how I remain so calm. Is it because I have learned to be calm or is it because I don’t care. I thought for a moment and responded, “Life is what you make of it. If you let the little things get you down, then medium things will get you down and then big things will get you down. It’s important to see each situation relative to others and learn to take the appropriate action. Tackle the small things and finish one. Then feel good that you have accomplished something. Remember that feeling of success when you tackle another small problem and beat it. You will learn that small things are not worth worrying over. With your experience dealing with small things, use your skills to tackle the medium things and eventually the big things.” He looked at me and said I spoke wisely and he thanked me. But I got the last laugh because in reality, I didn’t care at all. At least he stopped bugging me.
well I'm hated a lot, especially at school. What did I do? is there something wrong with me? I feel like this everyday at school as I'm feeling constantly judged. It hurts so fucking much knowing you can't be normal or just fit in because you're not up to peoples expectations. The more and more I'm just hating myself even more or noticing my flaws
This is why I'm subscribed to this channel. This channel always makes me question and rethink how I act, feel, and think, allowing me to improve myself. Great video, keep it up!
It’s a really sucky feeling Makes you start not liking your own self People are so negative and sad these days. They project their own issues on the happy people. And tear people down
I'd like to take a moment to thank The School of Life altogether. We live in a fantastically confusing world where importance fluctuates from person to person, and no one can definitively prove anything to have any sort of divine significance. That being said, the importance I've found in religion, friendships, family, and most of the other popularly valued societal structures has diminished as I've grown older. I've found them to be no where near as impervious to weathering as suggested. My search for anything that makes me happy led me to many places, I found consolidation in science and an understanding of the universe, but that can only help one so much in the real world. My struggle to feel like I belong anywhere has been immensely benefited by every video you have made. I now not only know why I feel the way I do, but what that means, even if its meaning remains exclusive to myself. I'm sorry to ramble, but just know that for the past few months I've felt like dying, I've felt I don't belong in a family that condemns critical thinking, I've felt I don't belong around my school mates who are still so concerned with such trivialities as which celeb said what. I've felt empty, and I still kind of do. No, I still really do. I still have no one to share any of this with except a you tube comment section. Still, I've never felt as confident with who I am as I do with the knowledge you have provided me. I know I feel empty, but I also know why, and I know everyone feels this way to some extent. Before even knowing about this channel I felt like I was always an unresolved issue, a problem to be left for someone else to deal with. I see the world in such a brilliantly different way now. I see everyone as broken people, desperately trying to stay afloat as life continually pushes them back underneath the waters of it's perpetual tribulations. I see their struggles, and even with the knowledge that helping them might very well send me underneath as well, that they deserve no help from me, that I still struggle in those same waters, I feel I have an obligation to teach them to swim in these brutal waters just as you've taught me. You didn't need to, no one ever needs to, but it is so imprtant that you did. When my parents told me they loved me I knew they lied, and it made me want to die. When I was told not to worry about my doubts, that they are healthy for a christian but that doesn't make me not a christian, I wanted to die. When I finally accepted that no, I really don't have anyone I genuinely consider a good friend, you get the point. These are all things that should not bring such depressing feelings if societies interpretation of them is to be believed, but yet that precisely can be the most depressing aspect of this phenomenon. That it seems no one understands why traditional means for happiness leave me feeling so empty. I am infinitely happier now with the knowledge that societies interpretation of the world is horribly misconstrued, and even true happiness is one of societies most flawed concepts. I feel resolved knowing there is no resolution to life, we are peculiar pieces of dust on a piece of shrapnel in an explosion. I, like every living thing on this rock, am just trying to stay afloat in these chaotic waters. Thank you for teaching me to swim.
One's life is a sum a experiences, good one, bad one, stimulating, boring, challenging, trivial etc. seems you've your diary filled with experiences symbolic of dormant/passive existence. Unless you give life a chance you'd keep feeling emptiness for the rest of life. The feeling of belonging comes when one is a part of a collective endeavor. By categorizing people on the basis of critical thinking abilities you make yourself difficult to reach. Go for endeavors which test a man's mental as well physical faculties and can also be regarded as collective effort. One such thing is mountain hiking. Gather your peers, put your gears on and go for a hike. There won't be trash talk upon celebrities or soap operas but tests of a man's perseverance and accomplishment if he makes through.
Your message reminds me of that which I hear so often from this channels, and admittedly is so difficult to understand. Perhaps it is my upbringing, being taught adamantly to judge, though as a kid my judgement was determined by religiosity, perhaps I still judge just as much now based on equally superficial attributes like critical thinking abilities. I wouldn't go so far as to understate the limited availability I have to the intelligently minded, nor the negative effect that might have on my well being. Nonetheless, wallowing in my misfortunes benefits no one. Indeed, I feel I need to find ways in which I can understand the virtues of those I otherwise would resent by default. I need not love all the characteristics of a person, but it would be ridiculous to conclude that anyone could be void of any form of recgnizable virtue. Thanks for taking the time to respond!
Asher Wilkins The things is buddy, your comment reminded me of myself 5 years ago. Always measuring people's worth based on superficial attributes like critical thinking or art of conversation, needless to say about the kind of social life i had(a few guys who'd somehow tolerate my contempt n ridicule of probably everything). Once i got in a fight with thugs n everyone who knew me turned blind eyes. I realized that i have to calibrate if i want to survive, for survival is the ultimate goal of a human life, as say all the evolutionary biologists. I struggled to create a functional social life, with hard efforts n some luck, managed to create a quasi one. I still feel myself to be on the periphery, pretending to be a participant in a nonsensical society. Anyway, this perceived commonality prompted me to put a response so you may find something valuable in what i jotted down n make a change for it's never too late. And yes, people disappoint. But they can be tolerable if you find their virtues(if they have) I wish you best of luck. Bye.
once again "school of life" have brought us another helpful, therapeutic and priceless lesson about the importance of self love/esteem. Thank you Alan for your sincere and caring dedication to the happiness and well being of society! you are an amazing man.
that's a big part of why i'm not on any social media sites, don't want to deal with assholes. watching this and other videos i realize how in the past i could've been seen as an asshole during certain conversations, i wasn't always open to critique or understanding of others. there's that part of me that wishes i could apologize to those people, but sadly that'll likely never happen, and the part that says i need to just remember that regret when dealing with new people (though that never really happens) and not be that way
I am often too open-minded in general. I hear someone's statement and think "Wow, that's incorrect. Well, maybe they don't know better. They do? Ok, maybe they don't mean it the way I understand it. They do? Um, okay..." or my friends tell me how they see or want to do things and I think to myself "That doesn't sound like a very good idea. Oh well, they are grown-up individuals with their own set of values and experiences. Also I don't know the whole picture. I'm sure they know what they're doing." followed by "What do you mean you didn't expect this outcome and why didn't I warn you?" ^^
I have a few people who hate me but I'm deeply glad for that. For some reason, it makes me cut the habit of only thinking about myself and start worrying about other things around there.
1. One of my most beloved heroes is Bryan Stevenson. He is an Afro-American lawyer based in Alabama!! In fact Desmond Tutu calls him the " Nelson Mandela of America". Imagine that despite being a Harvard graduate and having several honorary doctorates and despite having argued cases at the US supreme court, he also had been pulled out of his car by police officers who have threatened to " blow his brains out" !! How do you deal with such hatred? I mean " institutionalized hatred"? Well he obeys the haters in those circumstances, but he makes them pay for it his way: by bringing justice to the world every single day. He saved 115 people from death row until now! In fact we all must read his wonderful book " Just Mercy". You could at least watch his TED Talk. 2. "Invisibilia" is a wonderful podcast and in an episode called " Flip the Script", they tell us two incredible stories on this. You'll definitely find hatred " less scary" after listening to them. Here is a part of the information: " In this episode we look at situation where someone flips the script- does the opposite of what their natural instinct is, and in this way transforms a situation. Usually when someone is hostile to us, we are hostile right back.But then in rare cases someone manages to be warm, and what happens as a result can be surprising". 3. Personally, except those from the internet and a couple of Neo Nazis I have seen, I never really encountered people who hated me. But being " disliked or misunderstood" is equally painful. Especially if you are an introvert, people may think that you don't go to parties etc., so you must be arrogant and vain, prefering " your own company". I have always found this very unfair and sad. But here is a Dr. Seuss quote that is very consoling: " Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind".
Maybe they think you are annoying? But I doubt they hate you. It takes a lot of energy to hate. For the most part people think only of themselves. Especially true when we are younger.
I needed this so much. It teaches to filter unconstructive rage, as well as providing ignorance, empathy and self-awareness treatment instead of counterattacking. And, the most important for my conformist character, encourages to speak up about other's unpleasant behaviour - in a kind and intelligent way with a will to do no harm.
Its a primitive tribal thing. The more and more people in your clan that don't like you, the less help and more confrontations you're going to get in. It's good for survival for people to like you. In today's age, it's kind of a different story.
I love this channel - On Being Hated - is a subject I am currently living with, I feel bad because this group hates me and does things to me personally and to my property. As a Buddhist I trying my a%% off the see myself in them. I agree at times I am as foul as this group. I feel genuinely ashamed of my own behavior. WE humans do not realize the full weight of our words and or actions. At this moment I use the intense moments of interaction to just stare at them / in my head I am thinking “ I behaved like this”. Fully comprehending the moment I felt and saw just how ugly that behavior was. I found peace in this for my self and the group.
Interesting, what makes you feel that? To me, it doesn't imply that people are never wrong if they do something bad. More that hate as a result of a person's bad behaviour should be ignored by the perpetrator. Criticism, on the other hand, should be taken onboard. What they don't touch upon is condemnation which is somewhere in between criticism and hate probably because the video is more concerned about the person being hated.
Fuck you, you piece of shit. Lmao sorry I needed to spoil the gem that is finding a sensible person on the internet, just cause. Anyway, I agree, hate should never be legitimized, but it can be justified. Can't someone hate you for doing something irrevocably bad to them? For example, knowingly giving someone an STD is cause for hate and resentment that, really, the perpetrator of the disease has no real claim to un-justify the victims hate.
david rodriguez Fuck you bitch!!. Sorry need to show that I also take leave of my senses and turn into a troll when on here. I agree with with you totally. Hate can be justified. I think therefore the type of hate talked about in this video is spite. People are still entitled to spite someone if that person did wrong but not justified if the perpetrator is remorseful and makes amends.
No, this point was expressed clearly in the video. The point is how one delivers criticism to another. One can point out a mistake, whether in action or a factual error to another by reasoning and question. Or one can, as my father always did, fly into a bellowing rage. Or as too many teachers do try to embarrass a student in front of his peers, rather than offer instruction or questions for the student to consider.
I feel this so deeply. As a black woman, I read a lot of comments on the internet about how black people are violent and lazy. How we should be working instead of protesting and how we live off of the government. So on and so forth. Not only on the internet but even in my every day life, people are afraid of me. I take my kids to the park and people will lock their car doors if they see me walking by their car. Yesterday at the pool some woman picked up her daughters bracelets when she saw me taking off my shoes near them. I don't really know how to react or feel but this video helped a bit.
Haha. I disagree with Cenks behaivior, but you being a black chick doesn't make you special. Just like I aint special for being a white dude. Get over yourself.
Johnny Lindblom No. She has reason to complain. Are you sure you dont often victimize yourself and are insecure when you see others do it regardless of if they have good reason? Seems like it. To recognize black people experience troubles for their skin isn't to say all black people suffer more than all white people. Its just a basic observation of racist events; I really dont see why you would have reason to deny it unless youre insecure.
Mambye it has to do with attitude towards light skinned Asians and whites today. We often are called racists,demons ect. Some of us might stay away from dark skinnend people ( especially americans)because they don't want to be called racist or be falsely accused of something. As a Polynesian/causasian, americans make me uncomfortable because some of them seems to be race obsessed ( both right and left winged). This doesn't have to be the case. I hope it won't happened to you again.
i wish that people would just tell me when they didn’t like me instead of pretending to like me to spare my feelings and then saying they hated me later on. that hurts so much more, please just be straight up with me from the beginning.
I would really like to see a video made by this people of why people hate other people I know it would be a broad topic but should be very interesting I think
I was wondering that too. I came across a very interesting thing called "non-violent communication" by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg. Very revealing! Maybe try checking it out. So mostly I think people get angry and hate, if they feel like either they themselves or someone/something they care for or identify with, is being disrespected or devalued/humiliated. Generally, I think that is where most of the hate and anger of people comes from. Just a quick and random everyday example: Someone cuts in line in front of you. Most people will feel angry about that. Why? Because they feel like their own effort and time (waiting in line) is being devalued by the person cutting the line, sending the message that the cutter's time, and maybe his persona, is more important and valuable than your own. Also the weaker your self image or self confidence is, the more fervently you will have to try and restore this damaged and attacked self. Hence, the more hate. Of course there is a lot more I could tell you (about narcissism, internalizations, identification etc.) but generally put, we human beings have quite simple needs: we want to belong somewhere and we want to be loved and respected for who we are. : ) I wish you love and respect! : )
This is the first appropriate recommendation that UA-cam has ever made. I have been pondering over few things for a past week or 2, was completely lost. This recommendation is the universe's answer to my internal agony. Thank you so much for making this video, only I know how much I needed this point of view, in my life right now. All your videos are amazing too.
This is too general of a statement I think. Asking for a modicum of respect on the internet is a perfectly legitimate request; one tha seems for the better. Now, being affected too hard by the betrayal of the expectations of having people comply with such requests is the point this video discusses.
Great advice! Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me. Wonderful! Shame people for feeing genuine emotions. You what that causes? The hateful people on the internet who were never taught to deal with emotions and so they lash out in destructive ways. #1 advice.
+S. Stout If words are so powerless, then why are you using such a weak medium to make your point? Words are used because they are effective psychological tools. People use them to influence another's mind. In that, haters and lovers use them most effectively. No one is immune, and we are a social species. So, we all need to think before we speak. Indeed effective spoken communication should be part of every child's education.
"The people affected by those hateful comments will band together. Give each other comfort and compassion and destroy the trollers/haters when they come upon them!" "Cyberbalkanization is the segregation of the Internet into smaller groups with similar interests, to a degree that they show a narrow-minded approach to outsiders or those with contradictory views." Go back to Tumblr and enjoy your freedom from thought!
Love it. People that give me you criticism filled with emotion are useless, while people who give you constructive criticism are useful. Sometimes it's can be hard to tell the difference, but more often not at all. So simply yet so misunderstood.
Everybody hates me.... Bullies me..... I tried cutting myself.. But it just Hurt,it didnt make things better... I am sad, depressed and i just... Feel terible... I JUST DONT KNOW... WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?!
Make a video on what you should do when you actually deserve hatred I.e. murder someone Or rather what the philosopher's response would be to hateful crimes/actions
i get angry at people who hate me for a stupid reason. but in recent years i made peace with not everyone will like me. its interesting to have enemies in your life. it keeps me sharp....i think. i dont know if this is healthy thinking, but im enjoying it so far.
As much as I hate Churchill, he said one very important line:
"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life."
Why do you hate churchill?
SkyreeXScalabar because of his hatred and neglect of India and South Africa. Also, because of his exploitationist moves on the colonies.
+Akshat Saraf oh because in US schools he's taught as a hero because of his alliance with US during WW2
+Akshat Saraf does this means there is no such thing as a good or bad person?
***** fair enough.
What I don't understand is why some people are so proud of their utter and apparent lack of empathy towards others.
You are so right! It's very common these days that people will call others over sensitive and justify disrespect and cruel comments as honesty. Being honest does not grant one to be a jerk. Sometimes it's not what you say but how you say it. All the conflict that arises could be avoided if people would stop and ask themselves why does this hurt the other person or will this hurt someone and simply accept that we hurt people unintentionally and seek forgiveness.
It is sadly a thing to be proud of in many people’s eyes.
How else is trump president?
If I were to ruin someone's life and make them feel terrible, I could never be more proud of myself
Captaincarrot 25 regular society can't wait for the day you do that to the wrong person.
They enjoy the power and it makes them feel like they are a special kind of breed.
I can deal with explicit hate. It's when you see someone as a good friend, and later find out they've bad-mouthed you behind your back, or "thrown you under a bus" in order to save themselves... That hurts.
This hit me where I live. Not a feeling I would wish upon anyone.
@@GhostCZ007 : )
The gossiping on your back always hurts but of course it hurts much more if it comes from someone you loved and trusted!!!
such as girlfriend cheating
Facts
Hate is almost always driven by jealousy and envy. The thing is - the hater has a low threshold. He can be jealous of a person - usually close to him - who has nothing. He may be jealous of that person's contentment. Or he may be jealous of that person's stoic resolve facing a financial crisis. A hater is jealous of how another person looks, talks, walks...you name it. Hatred is like a recurring disease. The person infected is never entirely cured. Although it is important to forgive the hater, it is also important to protect yourself from the hater's disease.
@QTee Thanks Qtee.
@presley the rat I am glad. Thanks.
Some people will satisfy themselves by belittling others
@@huali8186 You're right. And they are almost impossible to change.
I think even anger is a reason for hate.
You guys make the most important videos on UA-cam
agree!
We need more of this kind of philosophy in schools..
Alankrit Aman tru
If you knew the sources & influences for these videos you might not think so. What is perfectly well known is just as perfectly well forgotten.
What are the sources and influences? Will you say what they are? that might be helpful.
Usually people hate because they are jealous. As Jealousy is the most destructive of all emotions.
cope
Im struggling at school because of doing youtube. More and more people are trying to pull me down but I try not to let it get me. This really helped me thank u
Congratulations on your channel, and good wishes.
omg ich liebe dich
stay strong i dont know u but i love u beyourself ❤👍 trust ur self ur the queen the amazing girl ever
Kyurin Diary
Don't these people have anything better to do really? I mean if I see something I don't like fine maybe comment with my friends. But some people go extremely out of their way to mock any little thing they don't like. It's pretty sick.
Kyurin Diary cool
If no one hates you in life, you are doing something wrong.
Thank you the rarest Pepe.
+BluePain it means you are not alive
no one hates me
the narrator sounds like a gay catholic pastor. first he experienced the hatred of his uncle who raped him and made him sexually confused. then he fell into bad company with the men in the bushes after dark. the regret and self-loathing filled him with hatred of all gays. after years of living with self-hatred, he found a way to alleviate it by projecting his personal shit onto others -- in the form of these videos.
If someone hates you, you're probably doing something wrong too
people who dont know me that well are the ones who hate me........
Same, i feel you.
yup!
better than the other way 'round...
That's funny
People who know me the most hate me the most
I get you. I feel the same way.
Most of my hatred for others comes from them misjudging me without clarity
AJ Steele, exactly man that’s same problem I’m facing. But as more and more people start to act like that towards I can’t help but feel that the fault lies within me even if they really did misjudge me....
@@rishimandava1259 it is a vicious cycle . We must remember though that we are NOT always wrong . People suck, and sometimes they hate just because they don’t like our face. It’s absolutely true .Psychology won’t tell you that .
AJ Steele, ok man, thanks
@@Earthtime3978 yeah, its best not to let people get to you, not without reason. i only hate people who are evil, who deserve hatred, not that i ever tell them so lol
This needs to be the first video anyone sees when they join UA-cam. It might help to stem a lot of hatred in here.
My thoughts exactly.
Probably a bit too deep and confusing for most lads who dish out hate..
+Ray Miller yeah most people are pretty stupid
Ray Miller Good. It'll scare 'em off.
UA-cam? This should be the welcome video whenever someone connects to the internet for the first time.
Wow, this video moved me to tears. The School of Life is teaching us lessons that we wish our parents would have taught us. Thank you so much for this beautiful and insightful video.
in a world where the internet teaches us more valuable lessons than our parents, God help us
+bob polo Perfectly understandable. Most parents are grossly incompetent, at least in my experience.
dilanka Incompetent or ill-prepared? You can't know what you don't know
+bob polo I don't think you can have one without the other..
dilanka Yeah but incompetent has such a negative connotation. I don't understand physics, does that make me incompetent?
Whenever you attempt to do something in life that others don't want too see you succeed in because they can't do it themselves, they'll always find a way to bring you down. People like to see you do well, but never better than them. So if people don't like you, keep doing what you're doing, and do it better than you did yesterday.
There was a child at my school that valued education. He was constantly bullied by practically everyone. After years of torment he went on to complete highschool at seventeen years of age. I always thought of him as weak, and a coward. Then I learned that he killed himself a few days ago, guess I was right. Life is like a pit full of snakes. Either stop being such a pussy and confront them, or perish. Nothing matters in the end though, if that comforts you.
Mark E yaaaas!🙏🏾
Well Said.
How the hell does that make him weak?
Haters, motivate me to work harder to shove my success up their ass!
They could of be successful in their field if they didn't waste their time in hating people...
This is why I'm a loner.
Same
Same
me too man!
Me tooooo ppl are crazy
Same 😞
Sometimes it feels like death would be better than dealing with all the hatred I get both from people and myself
Fuck other people and learn to love yourself. Don't be a prisoner of other people's opinions.
maybe you just havent found the right people, like the video said?
I'm just really ugly and a potato compare to everyone around me
Don't give up, make it your goal to outlive your enemies, Ok
+J Lieu you're not ugly, your face is just an empty signifier :D one day you'll meet amazing people who will give that empty signifier a really cool meaning.
Lions don't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.
Kinda sounds narcissistic but okay
but you're a bear
Exonestist quality cringe
Ann Riba
It's really pretty nice if you think about it.
A fine thing indeed, but do you understand the concept?
Joke.
Exonestist a cringy joke
I believe hate is an inability to see two sides of a situation and is something that is found in those who are unable to think any further than their own skin. And while I personally could never hurt someone intentionally, a large majority of people feel it to be an acceptable form of behavior; a lack of understanding and basic intelligence being the root in my opinion.
It's an unfortunate situation.
if someone hates you and you haven't wronged them it's because they envy you
JackintheBox or because you have bad people skills
Gegehe Hdhdhhd bad people skills = someone who asks "what do u mean bu bad skills"
Gegehe Hdhdhhd and I was just giving an answer
keep telling yourself that
... especially in Spain!!! Such a tricky country!
"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life."
-Winston Churchill
Just a reminder that no matter what you stand for, someone will take issue with that. However, that doesn't negate that you should stand for something, sometime in your life.
Something I try to remember: If an insult holds no truth, it can be disregarded. If an insult holds truth, it's a lesson. It hurt when an ex called me gutless and defensive, but years on I realise I've been a coward at important times in my life and I used to be very defensive. I dunno how accepted that lesson is, or where I read it or if i came up with it myself, but I try to remember it when I feel attacked.
other person: "I hate you"
you: "That's okay"
Other person:”I hate you”
Me:”Ahhhh,that’s hot”
@Carson Barlow That strategy works if power dynamics are equal. But what happens if you want or need something from the other person. For example, a restaurant refusing to serve someone black or gay or Christian? They have a right to their opinion, but we still live in a society and are dependent on others. We all have a right to our opinion, but in my mind, I think we do owe each other basic respect. I guess, another way to deconstruct this is - hateful actions are not okay. Hateful thoughts are.
How to be a person, Rule number 8:
Do not fear to be hated, but be cautious towards those inhabited by
hate.
You will be hated, regardless of who you are, what you say or what you
do, you be hated for your successes, or your failures, for good looks,
or bad looks, for intelligence or stupidity.
Hate is the child of the hater, nurtured by the beliefs it is fed, you
often will have no control over what you are hated for.
Know that antipathy becomes the master of it's owner,
Know that if you are going to be hated regardless of who you are, then
be fearless enough to be who you want to be.
Hate is no more eloquently articulated than in the poetry of the
expression-
"Not your fuckin' problem."
~Shane Koyczan, How to be a person
Thank you for this.
What if you're the hater? I carry resentment within me more than I can handle. I hate myself for it everyday. I'm a hater and am toxic.
@@israaabdelfatah2978 It's OK. That makes you have a lot of empathy and understanding towards other toxic haters because you know exactly how they feel
@@israaabdelfatah2978 I used to be a terrible gossip and one day just decided to stop doing it because it was childish, mean and negative. I would slip back into the habit time to time but eventually was able to stop the behavior by limiting the people I would engage in the behavior with.
Maybe you can try to apply it too. Just work to stop the behavior. When you find yourself "hating" on people attempt to disengage.
"How to be a person"
Aliens: ah yes
As the early 21st century philosopher Swift said: "'Players gonna play, play, play, play, play. Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it off, I shake it off."
😐🤗😅😅😂
K
It hurts when someone who you called a friend walks straight past you without saying hi because they think your not as good as them anymore. I'm just quiet, I never hated them.
fuck them
@@kanatapaw thanks man
Im scared of haters because im afraid they might physically hurt me. But i found that people won't do that anymore and even if they do, i can always fight back - im 5"1 and i learned that no matter how small i am, strength is from within . I hope this helps others who feel the same way.
Whenever I'm faced with hate I always ask myself what do I think of this person. In most cases I think of the person who hates me as insignificant and foolish, or sometimes they may have stupid beliefs that made them the way they are. When someone is insignificant their opinion about me is insignificant too. As said in the video, you become vulnerable to hate if you thought that what the haters say is true.
Haters are so common these days, sometimes people just assume that all of their critics are haters by nature. People need to be more open to criticism.
yeah, I think the main problem is not about coping with 'haters', but rather about coping with criticism in their destructive and constructive form.
critics can offer some insight to their claim, but what matters most is I think for one to keep an open mind. If no point can be reached then both party can just settle on being disagree and leave it just that.
Criticism is ok, but when it moves into deliberately harming another person, and feeling entitled to do so, then you have hatred. Such people exist and can ruin other people's lives because, usually they don't like what they see in the mirror. It's self-hatred, that they are trying to extinguish by destroying another.
(THIS IS NO GENERALIZATION) but, In my experience it mostly happens in America, tho it does happens too in Asian countries, but not as often in America, Asian people seemed to be more empaths and kind people, while Americans are viewed as cold hearted and judgmental, even if you come to India where they say people are narrow minded, it's still nothing compared to American judgements, Indians are a lot more accepting of others religion and Complains Less in life, Americans on the other hand, are the opposite (BASED ON EXPERIENCE)
This is a lesson that internet needs.
There is a Spanish proverb that says "You are only as important as your enemies"
thank you for this. I've been hated for finally standing up for myself to the one that is taking advantage of my feelings. and now I feel down of all the hates that he is throwing to me. I guess its okay to be hated when you had enough.
This was extremely helpful and useful and made me see things in a new light. thank you
pussy, get out/.
+homa master why so? what did i do so wrong that it is required for me to leave
+Emily O why thank you🌈
+Isabel Itoga When someone makes a comment that is vulgar and offensive, like "homa master" did, then you need to give it zero value. That's what this video is all about. If you were to meet a vulgar person on the street then you'd quietly move away from him as to not have an interaction. Never engage with someone who is a hater for the sake of being a hater - because if you do then you'll never win. You'll lose the psychological battle.
+M2brSaA that is a very valid point you have brought up. i indeed agree with you that I myself should have left him alone. i was also at fauot for replying to his comment but it was a compulse of mine and for not thinking it through i apologise. Thank tou for bringing this point up
"If one was truly wise insightful and mature, one could never want to make another person collapse internally" that's so true! it's a relief to hear it in this channel
You guys are making the world a better place..
jedics
Too bad it made an irony today bruh.
I know this is the Internet and you'll get assholes and stuff talking on the Internet, but this video needs to be trending. people need to learn from this video. I will go by this video when I try to correct someone for the rest of my life.
"when I try to correct someone" ha! good luck with that on the internet.
+Emmanuel Styles I'll always try.
Pet Mez or you could save that energy, and put it towards something useful.
+Emmanuel Styles yeah, it's pointless to argue with people. Just walk away and focus on something else
+Abdulkarim Elnaas same. Every now and then, I do forget that solution, especially on the Internet. But, at least, I'm giving it my full effort, and that's all that matters.
Some has already disliked the video. What's there to dislike?
Some people subscribe to channels just to dislike every video. It's sad, but true.
coz they r haters
Coz they sad... Or have nothing to do.
Behold the troglodytes!
Vilification of mere vague dissenting opinions is unwise.
I've dealt with this with my grandmother. She seemingly despises me and it's not in my mind. She judges me with her piercing eyes and I sometimes overhear her unflattering conversations about me. I tried to defeat this with love by bringing her food on a daily basis and watching sports with her (she's a sports fanatic) For some unexplained reason, her opinion mattered to me for the longest and my self perception was largely influenced by her personal assessment of who I am and how well my life is today in terms of success. I'm a believer so I decided that God's opinion of me is more important, and since then I've actually dismissed her opinions. Who cares? The negative side is the obvious distance that I've perpetuated since freeing my self from her sight. I rarely visit or call and I really don't feel bad about it. Slight guilt but manageable. I'll pray for more patience and love so I can be around her without letting her judgmental ways effect me.
“God's opinion of me is more important” :')
Oh I am hated 24/7 and its never going to change! The dirty stares and scowl looks and sheer hatred burning in their eyes and their hatred new no bounds and I am still made fun of and I hope I die really soon!
i don't think they know what it feels to be like you
I'm the same way. People cringe at me for being nice or kind.
Life is a sex. You always been f*cked everyday. Learn from this.
Angel Simone hey don’t say that. Your worth isn’t determined by the opinions of those that can’t love themselves.
@@prernasinghchauchan4124 True :)
I’ve been haunted by nightmares about travelling back to high school years and everyone hated me, although they’re just dreams i find them really frustrating and frightening. Puzzled by my own emotions, here I am scratching for an explanation.
I watched the video. I listened to it. Replayed over and over for the first time. Total time: ~ 30 mins. Thank you very much!
I have never had enemies before. People have hated on me but I always apologized and brushed it off. That's how everyone should do it. Whenever someone has a problem with me I just say "look I dont know why you are mad at me and I don't care to listen but I am deeply sorry for whatever I have done." One of the best ways to avoid confrontation.
My only problem with hate from the Internet is that u can't deal with that person irl.
Thank you for uploading this video.
I feel like everyone hates me. I mean I am not a bad person but I do have an opinion just like everyone else. And I am trying my very best to open up to people, but they still reject me and I am still alone. And I get hated on YT so much because I voice my opinion, these trolls continue to thumbs down my videos and when I see all these dumb videos getting thumbs up and thousands of subscribers, I keep thinking: "What am I doing wrong?"
I am putting myself out there, and my videos are one of the many ways I express myself. And I decided to disable comments and ratings because I am sick of the trolls just spreading hate on my videos. I can take criticism, however to hate me without even know me or speaking to me in the flesh is just ridiculous. I have had to delete my Facebook account and limit my Twitter use. And now it seems like I will have to limit my UA-cam activity. Why am I hated so much?
Perhaps you aren't hated by anyone at all besides yourself? Do you love yourself? Often times we think others dislike us because we dislike ourselves. We don't trust others because we can't trust ourselves. You seem to be a very sensitive person, which is fine. I think it's important to know that all truth is relative and there is no grand truth to anything. Whatever you do is perfectly fine as long as you believe that you yourself are worthy of feeling that way. I invite you to look inwards and really investigate how you feel about yourself, come to terms with these feelings, and appreciate them for what they are which is a part of you.
Also, hating on the internet is far easier than in person. In person, people usually get tense or awkward or they change their minds about you when you confront them in person about it. The video is trying to, I think, explain the fact that people who claim to "hate" us are usually just damaged people themselves and need to find a way to vent out their own frustrations. This is much easier online and it usually has nothing to do with your character. People who take the time to criticize you calmly and rationally are at ease with themselves and don't feel a need to make you feel awful about yourself just to get a point across that you might want to consider changing something about yourself.
I encourage you to keep making videos, keep expressing yourself, and keep putting yourself out there. That's basically what life is all about.
Too bad too think humans are the most complicated beings
I cannot believe the accuracy of this video!! less than 5 minutes answer one of my greatest confusions.
Sometimes great friendship start with conflict
Jessica Hans-Jorie
But if it not resolved quickly, it will end to a bloody war. Reality ensued.
Humanity as a whole is so counter priductive... "hes doing good? Lets waste our time taking him down cause we're JELOUS"
In my world at least, the apathy or passive-aggressiveness of people is a much larger problem than hatred. A video about that would be more pertinent.
Also, does anyone ever deserve to be hated? Because there are people that were in my life that I strongly disliked. I tried to direct my emotions toward their actions and thereby avoid hating the person themselves, but I eventually came to the conclusion that people are the sum of their actions and one can not separate what people do from who they are.
I enjoy the idea of a righteous anger. It's the type of anger you feel at an injustice. If you're not careful though, it does quickly turn into worse things like hate. The key is empathy. Balancing the righteous anger -- which stems from empathizing with the victim -- and mercy -- which is like empathizing with the perpetrator.
Someone once asked me how I remain so calm. Is it because I have learned to be calm or is it because I don’t care.
I thought for a moment and responded, “Life is what you make of it. If you let the little things get you down, then medium things will get you down and then big things will get you down. It’s important to see each situation relative to others and learn to take the appropriate action. Tackle the small things and finish one. Then feel good that you have accomplished something. Remember that feeling of success when you tackle another small problem and beat it. You will learn that small things are not worth worrying over. With your experience dealing with small things, use your skills to tackle the medium things and eventually the big things.”
He looked at me and said I spoke wisely and he thanked me.
But I got the last laugh because in reality, I didn’t care at all. At least he stopped bugging me.
What if someone hates you with out being provoked and without even suggesting why, even when asked (there are a few people I know like this).
Some people like to gain a sense of control by belittling and humiliating others
how come the haters have unibrows? why do you hate us deeply for no reason?
unibrows people ! let us unite!
They also have two arms ! I feel this is discrimination against people with two arms.
Mr Otaku LOL!
@Mr Otaku That was beautiful
What’s worse then being hated is everyone being slightly disliking or not caring
well I'm hated a lot, especially at school. What did I do? is there something wrong with me? I feel like this everyday at school as I'm feeling constantly judged. It hurts so fucking much knowing you can't be normal or just fit in because you're not up to peoples expectations. The more and more I'm just hating myself even more or noticing my flaws
This is why I'm subscribed to this channel. This channel always makes me question and rethink how I act, feel, and think, allowing me to improve myself.
Great video, keep it up!
Could you do a video on what it means to be apathetic?
Meh... :\
^Clever
Who would care about that?
Perhaps they've had one in the pipeline for a year or more.
+TheBadSpoon lmao
It’s a really sucky feeling
Makes you start not liking your own self
People are so negative and sad these days. They project their own issues on the happy people. And tear people down
I'd like to take a moment to thank The School of Life altogether. We live in a fantastically confusing world where importance fluctuates from person to person, and no one can definitively prove anything to have any sort of divine significance. That being said, the importance I've found in religion, friendships, family, and most of the other popularly valued societal structures has diminished as I've grown older. I've found them to be no where near as impervious to weathering as suggested. My search for anything that makes me happy led me to many places, I found consolidation in science and an understanding of the universe, but that can only help one so much in the real world. My struggle to feel like I belong anywhere has been immensely benefited by every video you have made. I now not only know why I feel the way I do, but what that means, even if its meaning remains exclusive to myself. I'm sorry to ramble, but just know that for the past few months I've felt like dying, I've felt I don't belong in a family that condemns critical thinking, I've felt I don't belong around my school mates who are still so concerned with such trivialities as which celeb said what. I've felt empty, and I still kind of do. No, I still really do. I still have no one to share any of this with except a you tube comment section. Still, I've never felt as confident with who I am as I do with the knowledge you have provided me. I know I feel empty, but I also know why, and I know everyone feels this way to some extent. Before even knowing about this channel I felt like I was always an unresolved issue, a problem to be left for someone else to deal with. I see the world in such a brilliantly different way now. I see everyone as broken people, desperately trying to stay afloat as life continually pushes them back underneath the waters of it's perpetual tribulations. I see their struggles, and even with the knowledge that helping them might very well send me underneath as well, that they deserve no help from me, that I still struggle in those same waters, I feel I have an obligation to teach them to swim in these brutal waters just as you've taught me. You didn't need to, no one ever needs to, but it is so imprtant that you did. When my parents told me they loved me I knew they lied, and it made me want to die. When I was told not to worry about my doubts, that they are healthy for a christian but that doesn't make me not a christian, I wanted to die. When I finally accepted that no, I really don't have anyone I genuinely consider a good friend, you get the point. These are all things that should not bring such depressing feelings if societies interpretation of them is to be believed, but yet that precisely can be the most depressing aspect of this phenomenon. That it seems no one understands why traditional means for happiness leave me feeling so empty. I am infinitely happier now with the knowledge that societies interpretation of the world is horribly misconstrued, and even true happiness is one of societies most flawed concepts. I feel resolved knowing there is no resolution to life, we are peculiar pieces of dust on a piece of shrapnel in an explosion. I, like every living thing on this rock, am just trying to stay afloat in these chaotic waters. Thank you for teaching me to swim.
deep
Eloquently written
One's life is a sum a experiences, good one, bad one, stimulating, boring, challenging, trivial etc.
seems you've your diary filled with experiences symbolic of dormant/passive existence.
Unless you give life a chance you'd keep feeling emptiness for the rest of life.
The feeling of belonging comes when one is a part of a collective endeavor.
By categorizing people on the basis of critical thinking abilities you make yourself difficult to reach.
Go for endeavors which test a man's mental as well physical faculties and can also be regarded as collective effort.
One such thing is mountain hiking.
Gather your peers, put your gears on and go for a hike.
There won't be trash talk upon celebrities or soap operas but tests of a man's perseverance and accomplishment if he makes through.
Your message reminds me of that which I hear so often from this channels, and admittedly is so difficult to understand. Perhaps it is my upbringing, being taught adamantly to judge, though as a kid my judgement was determined by religiosity, perhaps I still judge just as much now based on equally superficial attributes like critical thinking abilities. I wouldn't go so far as to understate the limited availability I have to the intelligently minded, nor the negative effect that might have on my well being. Nonetheless, wallowing in my misfortunes benefits no one. Indeed, I feel I need to find ways in which I can understand the virtues of those I otherwise would resent by default. I need not love all the characteristics of a person, but it would be ridiculous to conclude that anyone could be void of any form of recgnizable virtue. Thanks for taking the time to respond!
Asher Wilkins The things is buddy, your comment reminded me of myself 5 years ago.
Always measuring people's worth based on superficial attributes like critical thinking or art of conversation, needless to say about the kind of social life i had(a few guys who'd somehow tolerate my contempt n ridicule of probably everything).
Once i got in a fight with thugs n everyone who knew me turned blind eyes.
I realized that i have to calibrate if i want to survive, for survival is the ultimate goal of a human life, as say all the evolutionary biologists.
I struggled to create a functional social life, with hard efforts n some luck, managed to create a quasi one.
I still feel myself to be on the periphery, pretending to be a participant in a nonsensical society.
Anyway, this perceived commonality prompted me to put a response so you may find something valuable in what i jotted down n make a change for it's never too late.
And yes, people disappoint. But they can be tolerable if you find their virtues(if they have)
I wish you best of luck. Bye.
once again "school of life" have brought us another helpful, therapeutic and priceless lesson about the importance of self love/esteem.
Thank you Alan for your sincere and caring dedication to the happiness and well being of society!
you are an amazing man.
Cancer: i'm the worst disease on earth!
Social media: bitch please😂
Tiktok: Allow me to introduce myself
that's a big part of why i'm not on any social media sites, don't want to deal with assholes. watching this and other videos i realize how in the past i could've been seen as an asshole during certain conversations, i wasn't always open to critique or understanding of others. there's that part of me that wishes i could apologize to those people, but sadly that'll likely never happen, and the part that says i need to just remember that regret when dealing with new people (though that never really happens) and not be that way
I am often too open-minded in general. I hear someone's statement and think "Wow, that's incorrect. Well, maybe they don't know better. They do? Ok, maybe they don't mean it the way I understand it. They do? Um, okay..." or my friends tell me how they see or want to do things and I think to myself "That doesn't sound like a very good idea. Oh well, they are grown-up individuals with their own set of values and experiences. Also I don't know the whole picture. I'm sure they know what they're doing." followed by "What do you mean you didn't expect this outcome and why didn't I warn you?" ^^
I have a few people who hate me but I'm deeply glad for that. For some reason, it makes me cut the habit of only thinking about myself and start worrying about other things around there.
That's okay
I'm hated by my family and friends
I just felt hated no one believes me no one listens to me, my friends made fun of me.. so i came here
1. One of my most beloved heroes is Bryan Stevenson. He is an Afro-American lawyer based in Alabama!! In fact Desmond Tutu calls him the " Nelson Mandela of America".
Imagine that despite being a Harvard graduate and having several honorary doctorates and despite having argued cases at the US supreme court, he also had been pulled out of his car by police officers who have threatened to " blow his brains out" !! How do you deal with such hatred? I mean " institutionalized hatred"?
Well he obeys the haters in those circumstances, but he makes them pay for it his way: by bringing justice to the world every single day.
He saved 115 people from death row until now!
In fact we all must read his wonderful book " Just Mercy". You could at least watch his TED Talk.
2. "Invisibilia" is a wonderful podcast and in an episode called " Flip
the Script", they tell us two incredible stories on this. You'll
definitely find hatred " less scary" after listening to them. Here is a
part of the information:
" In this episode we look at situation where someone flips the script-
does the opposite of what their natural instinct is, and in this way
transforms a situation. Usually when someone is hostile to us, we are
hostile right back.But then in rare cases someone manages to be warm,
and what happens as a result can be surprising".
3. Personally, except those from the internet and a couple of Neo Nazis I have seen, I never really encountered people who hated me. But being " disliked or misunderstood" is equally painful. Especially if you are an introvert, people may think that you don't go to parties etc., so you must be arrogant and vain, prefering " your own company". I have always found this very unfair and sad. But here is a Dr. Seuss quote that is very consoling:
" Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind".
You can't please everybody, no matter what you do, there will be always somebody who hates you.
Everyone at my school hates me well most and I dunno why😂😂👋🏻
Lozza Arks same because of my looks, they think im mean when im actually the opposite 😂😭
Lozza Arks I'm in the same situation as u bruh
Maybe they think you are annoying?
But I doubt they hate you. It takes a lot of energy to hate. For the most part people think only of themselves. Especially true when we are younger.
Most people hated me cause im very awkward
ugh same omg
I needed this so much. It teaches to filter unconstructive rage, as well as providing ignorance, empathy and self-awareness treatment instead of counterattacking. And, the most important for my conformist character, encourages to speak up about other's unpleasant behaviour - in a kind and intelligent way with a will to do no harm.
Its a primitive tribal thing. The more and more people in your clan that don't like you, the less help and more confrontations you're going to get in. It's good for survival for people to like you. In today's age, it's kind of a different story.
If everyone hates me, I doubt everyone is envious of me
Personally I'm loner in my school and I have no gf. I feel like I have no real friends I only follow my closest friends not to my other classmates.
My dad is an unreliable source of judgements and condemnation.
He's troubled, but I can't fix him. I can though, try to fix myself.
Do feel alone me too.
You are an amazing individual Mr. Botton.
I love this channel - On Being Hated - is a subject I am currently living with, I feel bad because this group hates me and does things to me personally and to my property. As a Buddhist I trying my a%% off the see myself in them. I agree at times I am as foul as this group. I feel genuinely ashamed of my own behavior. WE humans do not realize the full weight of our words and or actions. At this moment I use the intense moments of interaction to just stare at them / in my head I am thinking “ I behaved like this”. Fully comprehending the moment I felt and saw just how ugly that behavior was.
I found peace in this for my self and the group.
I don't believe in hate
I feel like this tells people that they're never in the wrong, when they do something bad to someone, if someone hates them.
Interesting, what makes you feel that? To me, it doesn't imply that people are never wrong if they do something bad. More that hate as a result of a person's bad behaviour should be ignored by the perpetrator. Criticism, on the other hand, should be taken onboard. What they don't touch upon is condemnation which is somewhere in between criticism and hate probably because the video is more concerned about the person being hated.
Fuck you, you piece of shit. Lmao sorry I needed to spoil the gem that is finding a sensible person on the internet, just cause. Anyway, I agree, hate should never be legitimized, but it can be justified. Can't someone hate you for doing something irrevocably bad to them? For example, knowingly giving someone an STD is cause for hate and resentment that, really, the perpetrator of the disease has no real claim to un-justify the victims hate.
david rodriguez Fuck you bitch!!. Sorry need to show that I also take leave of my senses and turn into a troll when on here. I agree with with you totally. Hate can be justified. I think therefore the type of hate talked about in this video is spite. People are still entitled to spite someone if that person did wrong but not justified if the perpetrator is remorseful and makes amends.
No, this point was expressed clearly in the video. The point is how one delivers criticism to another. One can point out a mistake, whether in action or a factual error to another by reasoning and question. Or one can, as my father always did, fly into a bellowing rage. Or as too many teachers do try to embarrass a student in front of his peers, rather than offer instruction or questions for the student to consider.
I feel this so deeply. As a black woman, I read a lot of comments on the internet about how black people are violent and lazy. How we should be working instead of protesting and how we live off of the government. So on and so forth. Not only on the internet but even in my every day life, people are afraid of me. I take my kids to the park and people will lock their car doors if they see me walking by their car. Yesterday at the pool some woman picked up her daughters bracelets when she saw me taking off my shoes near them. I don't really know how to react or feel but this video helped a bit.
As a white man, icecream tastes quite good.
Haha. I disagree with Cenks behaivior, but you being a black chick doesn't make you special. Just like I aint special for being a white dude. Get over yourself.
It's hard, but don't take this personally. That woman couldn't move past her fear. Just carry on being yourself.
Johnny Lindblom No. She has reason to complain. Are you sure you dont often victimize yourself and are insecure when you see others do it regardless of if they have good reason? Seems like it. To recognize black people experience troubles for their skin isn't to say all black people suffer more than all white people. Its just a basic observation of racist events; I really dont see why you would have reason to deny it unless youre insecure.
Mambye it has to do with attitude towards light skinned Asians and whites today. We often are called racists,demons ect. Some of us might stay away from dark skinnend people ( especially americans)because they don't want to be called racist or be falsely accused of something. As a Polynesian/causasian, americans make me uncomfortable because some of them seems to be race obsessed ( both right and left winged). This doesn't have to be the case. I hope it won't happened to you again.
i wish that people would just tell me when they didn’t like me instead of pretending to like me to spare my feelings and then saying they hated me later on. that hurts so much more, please just be straight up with me from the beginning.
I would really like to see a video made by this people of why people hate other people I know it would be a broad topic but should be very interesting I think
I've always wondered that, actually!
I was wondering that too. I came across a very interesting thing called "non-violent communication" by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg. Very revealing! Maybe try checking it out.
So mostly I think people get angry and hate, if they feel like either they themselves or someone/something they care for or identify with, is being disrespected or devalued/humiliated. Generally, I think that is where most of the hate and anger of people comes from.
Just a quick and random everyday example: Someone cuts in line in front of you. Most people will feel angry about that. Why? Because they feel like their own effort and time (waiting in line) is being devalued by the person cutting the line, sending the message that the cutter's time, and maybe his persona, is more important and valuable than your own.
Also the weaker your self image or self confidence is, the more fervently you will have to try and restore this damaged and attacked self. Hence, the more hate.
Of course there is a lot more I could tell you (about narcissism, internalizations, identification etc.) but generally put, we human beings have quite simple needs: we want to belong somewhere and we want to be loved and respected for who we are. : )
I wish you love and respect! : )
Thank you guys for this...I really needed to hear this today!
School of Life, great job!!
"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life." - Winston Churchill
I wish there was a love button not only a like one
And haters are behind you for a reason. They are nothing but losers. Let us pity them :)
At 1:34 my life changed forever..........that's it !!!!
This is the first appropriate recommendation that UA-cam has ever made. I have been pondering over few things for a past week or 2, was completely lost. This recommendation is the universe's answer to my internal agony. Thank you so much for making this video, only I know how much I needed this point of view, in my life right now. All your videos are amazing too.
If you allow yourself to be emotionally effected by comments online then the internet probably isnt for you.
This is too general of a statement I think. Asking for a modicum of respect on the internet is a perfectly legitimate request; one tha seems for the better. Now, being affected too hard by the betrayal of the expectations of having people comply with such requests is the point this video discusses.
Great advice! Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me. Wonderful! Shame people for feeing genuine emotions. You what that causes? The hateful people on the internet who were never taught to deal with emotions and so they lash out in destructive ways. #1 advice.
+S. Stout If words are so powerless, then why are you using such a weak medium to make your point? Words are used because they are effective psychological tools. People use them to influence another's mind. In that, haters and lovers use them most effectively. No one is immune, and we are a social species. So, we all need to think before we speak. Indeed effective spoken communication should be part of every child's education.
"The people affected by those hateful comments will band together. Give each other comfort and compassion and destroy the trollers/haters when they come upon them!"
"Cyberbalkanization is the segregation of the Internet into smaller groups with similar interests, to a degree that they show a narrow-minded approach to outsiders or those with contradictory views."
Go back to Tumblr and enjoy your freedom from thought!
BigHenFor it was sarcasm..
Love it. People that give me you criticism filled with emotion are useless, while people who give you constructive criticism are useful. Sometimes it's can be hard to tell the difference, but more often not at all. So simply yet so misunderstood.
Everybody hates me.... Bullies me..... I tried cutting myself.. But it just Hurt,it didnt make things better... I am sad, depressed and i just... Feel terible... I JUST DONT KNOW... WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?!
laura Naj Something thing is very wrong with them.
Hugggs
Its their thoughts not you . continue being you they just dont like it . keep being u
I love people who hate me, its like they are the source of joy. Anyway, gotta annoy more people now.
Hi, Another great vid!
I try empathizing with the trolls and telling them they have a valid point of view, it drives them crazy!:) Thanks.
He wanted me to collapse in agony this monster, is truly evil to the core. I gave him nothing but forgiveness and he used that to destroy me.
Quite extrange, I liked to be hated, not that I want that everybody hate me but I am perfectly ok with someone hating me
Hate is my favorite meal everyday.
This channel is way too underrated, you guys make some of the best videos on UA-cam
Make a video on what you should do when you actually deserve hatred I.e. murder someone
Or rather what the philosopher's response would be to hateful crimes/actions
Or perhaps, how to apologize for serious mistakes/crimes
thank you very much School of Life.! the way that Alan narrates is amazing!
A guy posts a comment and gets hate for it, you think that of me?!?! No.
*I am the one who hates*
i get angry at people who hate me for a stupid reason. but in recent years i made peace with not everyone will like me. its interesting to have enemies in your life. it keeps me sharp....i think. i dont know if this is healthy thinking, but im enjoying it so far.
at least back then your haters were eloquent and smart about it, these days hatred has the vocabulary of a snobby, childish twelve-year-old.
years ago I heard something someone said that made a lot of sense: "What other people think of me is none of my business."
Girl: I hate you
Boy: that's okay 😢