Living someone else's life will always be a dubious endeavor. Live your own life, have your own children and forge your own path. Don't settle for someone's leftovers.
Make sure you love her before you get serious because the kids a part of the package and if they are young they will be looking up to you as a father figure and if you leave your not just gonna break her heart you break that kids heart too so don't play games with them
Amen. The older kids are like whatever to me and the oldest hates me. But the two youngest ones love me a lot. We have a lot of issues because of this and even serious ones. False accusations as well. But I am fortunate to have children from my girlfriend who love me and have said the truth. And they back me up and expose the LIE of the oldest one. My girlfriend loves me and I love her and we plan to marry each other but her family is against it and my family is against the relationship as well. My mom is the only one out of both our families who really are thumbs up and gung-ho about the relationship and about us marrying each other. Also we have friends from her side who have been supportive. If you really love the woman though you are willing to go through the fire. I realize that I love her more and more now that I have gone through this fire because I would never have gone through this for any other female. In fact I don't have any patience for women at all. They just come with a baggage with or without children. But she has shown and proven that she loves me and I know deep in my heart that I love her. I changed my whole life to become a better man just to be a better provider for her and her kids. And she has also done many dramatic changes and adjusted her life which was already comfortable before I came in the picture and we both have proven to each other that we are serious about the relationship. But one thing is for sure that just because you and your partner want to be together in a serious relationship and even if it's love the kids may not feel the same way. In my situation there are five kids that she has. The two youngest ones 8yrs old and 9yrs old are all about me not leaving the house and they get sad when I go. The one in the middle which is 10yrs old just doesn't want to choose sides. She doesn't want any problems so she slips between the cracks and just agrees with everyone. The oldest son which is 16yrs old doesn't care about me being in a relationship with his mom as long as his mom is happy. But the oldest one which will be 18 years old in 6 months hates me. I don't think it's really hate towards me so much as for some reason she just doesn't want her mom to have a relationship. I have been giving her space because I feel that she is a grown woman and she has to decide to come towards me. She has accused me of serious things by which has all been debunked and everyone knows that she is lying. I don't feel comfortable saying this cuz I don't want to call her a liar but that's what it is. All lies. Because the two youngest ones already said and even the one in the middle which is 10 years old also confessed that the oldest one told them to say words by force. All I know is that I want to be with my woman and my woman wants to be with me. She has heat from every direction because her oldest daughter keeps calling other people to butt in our relationship. But my girlfriend has blocked them all and proven that that will not affect her. My family also doesn't agree with me being with her except for my mom. But I could care less what they think because I am going to be with her regardless of what they say or think. I just want to be happy with her. I know that I will not quit on her as long as she does not quit on me. If she quits on me though, I can't do anything else but let her go. But as long as she doesn't quit I will definitely not quit. Also she has kids with two different exes and they have called to bother. I don't know if both of them did or just one specifically. I do know that they have called to bother her because her oldest daughter called her dad about the situation. So there's definitely a lot of baggage within a relationship with kids. Women could also go through this if they are single woman with no children and dating a single dad. Kids can be very overprotective about their parents. I just try to be very understanding in the situation I am currently in.
@@livelystone9367 I believe that everyone should be treated with respect. Regardless of their gender. This is not a gender issue, this is a family issue that is being addressed and it's a serious one too and many people are asking questions. No one should degrade anyone. Everyone should look at this and be adults about it and really discuss deeply about the situation because we could all end up helping each other when the time comes and when we have to actually deal with this real life issue.
I dated a single mom for three years. She was always ungrateful, she ended cheating on me. So I immediately cut contact and ignored her. She kept contacting me, I blocked her number. I had good intentions with her. I'm never dating another leftover ever again. No thanks 👎🏻
I just started dating a lady with a daughter and ex husband. It’s been drinks and food so far. I’m just figuring this stuff out as I go. Thank you for your time and I appreciate your POV.
Am dating a girl with a kid. She is stuck an the ex supports her less. I can be willing to invest in her but she must be ready to completely cut her ex out. Am also certain if the girl will make up for her challenges.
Don't do it , and how old are you and what's your confidence situation cause you will always be dealing with the guy that knocked her up first . Or just stop looking and do what you love .
As long as you love the woman and she loves you and you guys will not quit then it will work out. But love has to be the center of your relationship. Constant communication is very important with your partner and with the kids or kid. So keep that in mind. Do not allow any secrets to linger because those secrets can be very harmful and sometimes the kids don't realize how harmful any secret can be. So make sure that constant communication and transparency is being displayed because if not then it will eventually destroy your relationship with your partner.
@@kaykaw well, I am even worse, and you would say I’m really stupid. My lady is in the same shit, and the ex supports you know, child support and that shit. Well, I helped her with 4000, so she didn’t be stuck, and the fuckn woman does not spent a single penny of that child support for paying any stuff, so, I basically gave her 4 grand and she gives her 11 year old the whole money for buying video games instead of using it for the food he’s gonna eat, paying the rent when he’s living, the water he’s using, electricity he’s using, gasoline she spents by taking him to his grandma’s coz he “can’t be alone” while we are working. And the worst part, my dad is stuck in a debt and instead of helping him out, I helped this bitch who makes me always feel not secondary, but the fuckn 169th on her list. I’m the most idiot and I’d rather to die coz I’m so in love with her that I’m afraid to leave her. I’m the worst piece of shit ever, I can’t take it anymore, I should take all of those pills at once.
I’m 41 years old man single no kids and to be honest dating a woman with kids it’s not worth it at all , because they want money and to help her on everything please all the men out there stay away from women that has kids I had a very bad experience .
Im a single man and I always attract single moms for some reason. Literally one woman told me “is cause you don’t have baby momma issues, you have no children and you’re focused on what you want.” To me it sounded like oh you’re gold and I want you to be responsible for my kids... Im like A Eeeehhh no ...
Haha dude I haven’t thought of it that way but I’ve definitely attracted for than a few baby mamas and honestly dating women with kids can be very emotionally complex and definitely forced you to mature.
@@alexanderalvarado5879 yes, you have to mature. It is not easy, especially if the child is rude to you, you think why am I bothering, however s good women will listen and realise you are making sacrifices with your life, you can’t see her as often, she probabaly tired a lot, holidays suddenly cost 5 times more as you can only take them on school holidays and probabaly want 2 rooms in a hotel. Lots of things like that. Some days I worry, but only when we have had a fight, other days I see the good in it.
"Gold...responsible" ..these are compliments. Women choose whose League you are in by saying yes or no to you. Women like the one you described are the one whose League you are in. Anyone who was around children is responsible for looking out for them. Not just parents. So stay a little boy and play your video games, or grow up and do what adults do. It's up to you :-) just don't get all mad when reality happens around you. :-)
Thank you! I just entered a relationship where children are involved. I am trying to figure a lot of stuff out with this new dynamic. It's been a challenge indeed but I thank you for just talking about it!
I used to care about date woman with kids now it's ok the girl that always loved me had a kid and I was a drug dealer that didn't know what love is now I've changed my life around I just want to show her how special she is kid or no kid I love her regardless
Im dating a female with kids right now l finally realize that i rather be single im at the point in my life were i want my own kids not raise some one else kids for a change..
Men, I viewed this video as I began to date a wonderful single woman with 2 teenage boys 10 months ago. I didn't want to believe what this speaker was referencing. Ten months later, I can honestly say, what this gentleman is speaking to is the honest truth. I have no kids of my own, will be starting a job with Northrop Grumman making close to 200k and wanted to make this lady the center of my life. Ultimately, nothing mattered. When we were "dating", there were times when weeks would go by when I could see her and yet we lived 15 minutes from each other! I was always relegated to 2nd class status and would always be.
Revi, you're actually third class. It goes children first, then women, then men. That is the reality created by biology itself. You can sulk over this, or you can accept it as the way the universe works. You don't have to be first to be loved or to love. Try to pull your focus off yourself and think about those around you. :-)
This is a great, honest, realistic video. You went through a painful situation with losing access to the children that you formed a bond with, yet you still gave a level-headed, fair assessment of dating women with children, in my opinion. I appreciate your perspective as a man with no children that has dated a single mother. I am a mother of 2, and am seeking understanding of the perspective men with no children have in dating me. I have not had great experiences with dating men with no children and have all but promised to never date them again because of it. I think I have healthy dating habits and listening to this, sounds like I had normal relationship issues with those men. Maybe I’ll give you guys a shot again ;)
I have dated and gotten married to a woman with three children from her previous marriage. I can honestly say that there is not one single day where I do not regret having gone forward with this decision. I am treated as a resource. My bank account is always depleted at the end of the month. I am always lectured on how inadequate I am as compared to the previous husband. According to her everything I do is wrong. Furthermore, the kids do not like me since I am not their biological father and I have no say on how they should be raised. If she goes for a divorce, I will be destroyed financially. My comment is long but I believe that it is relevant for many men in my situation. The choice is clear. Do not get married, especially to women who have kids.
Dated girl with a kid for a year. Her mom kicked her out and I let her stay temporarily. It's been 6 years already. Her kid hates me and her family hates me. Wtf am I doing?
Are you with her because you feel responsible now? I like to see things from different perspectives and learn from others. I would appreciate any input you may have.
kids+kids is better than kids+no kids 3:15 decision: full-time dad or part-time dad, say weekends 6:45 plan: dealing w/ her ex; male ego principle: kids above all discuss: access to kids later
Good video, I think the part time relationship is a good option. Dating women with children would appear to be complicated. If the ex is supporting the kids , paying child support, then that's a good sign. If however the women has nothing to do with the ex. who does not provide child support, then I think somewhere down the line you would be expected to financially support the child. I personally wouldn't start a relationship where the ex. gives no child support. Its important at an early stage to find this out.
I dated a single mother of a 4 year old girl for over a year, she was very nice to me during the first months, she would prepare food for me, wash my clothes and even invite me out for dinner and stuff like this. She had serious drinking and drugs issues and was even diagnosed as Bipolar borderline personality disorder. One day, she didnt reply to my messages nor calls for the whole day until she answered my call by accident at around 1 am then i heard like she was with a guy that she later told me he was just a friend. Anyway, things went a little bit better with time until we decides to move in together, after almost one week of living together, we had a relaxed night where we drunk and accidently had a small hard talk, in few minutes i heard someone ringing the bell, was the father of her kid, she left with him in the middle of the night and left me drunk as hell.
@@chrisbowman8678 i was crazy in love with her even if we are not compatible at all....i broke up with her like 3 months ago. still hurting but i believe this is the right thing to do that took me months to realise that she is a hell of a person !
I usually don't respond to youtube videos but this is a very important topic as so many couples are divorced which means many moms who look for new dates. What caught me the most is the fact that you spent years of your life raising someone else's kids and she didn't even have the slightest curtosey to let you and her kids keep in touch not even partially. In my opinion not only this is disrespectful to you, to say the least, but also very hurtful to her kids which probably saw you as their step-father by that time. I think women should be well informed how much trauma they're causing to everyone when they disconnect their kids from significant adults in their life if they don't do it carefully, and perhaps even a couple of laws should be added to address such situations which are very common but not regulated.
Guys plz never do this mistake marrying a women with a kid is a hell kind of a life ....plz be safe I'm stuck in this situation now 😤 only God can help me
I am 37 I met a girl 41 she got pregnant after a month of datingwe had a baby and lost the baby 5 months in. She turned 42 we tried again she is now 44. I don't think it will happen for us. She already has two kids and was married for 15 years and got divorced. The ex comes to th3 house every weekend. I was dealing with that but then she punched me on a couple of. Occassions so I left her.
Explain EXACTLY and concisely how you would like a woman to “make up for” having a child in your relationship. I’m a guy by the way and am honestly curious. Hotness? Willing to do extra chores around the house? What does make up for mean to you?
I took it as. They do not necessarily have to do anything specific or physically, but acknowledge the fact that the man is giving up Alot to be there for her and the child and just the extra bit of something in anyway or form would greatly be noticed.
Remember she'll love the family cat more than you. She will literally love you last out of everyone even friends. You'll be nothing but a paycheck and a roof with zero respect from anyone. If you're into being treated like a third class citizen by her, her family and friends, go for it I guess...
I once dated a girl who had a kid. It was great until it wasn't. This coincided with me (not) having a say regarding parenting as well as labeled too strict when all I really was hoping was self-reflection on when to say no to children's manipulation. Oh yeah, she got pregnant in the time period I spent a lot of time abroad for work and it turned out that I'm not the father but the first kid's daddy is. So, even though I only spent around a year with the toddler (3 y.o.), it still hurt to get him cut off just like that. Fast forward to today, where I'm dating this amazing woman who has a toddler that's almost 2 years old. Why risk it again you, the person reading this, will ask? Because it's an opportunity for growth. I get attention from a lot of women but don't consider many of them partners I would want to have for various reasons (I've been since burnt by an emotional wreck, a nymphomaniac who fantasized about me sucking another guy's dick and an English teacher who played games, spied and I'm pretty sure cheated on me due to her own insecurities). So there's a lot of crazy out there around my age (33). And there is this woman, 26, who is just amazing. Yeah, she has her own shortcomings much the same as I do. Yeah, there is an insecure/slightly controlling baby daddy involved whom I shall meet this Thursday. Yeah, I need to keep my eyes open and not invest too much too fast. Sure, I get that. But children can be so amazing to be around. I used to hate those little buggers but I'm growing more fond of them as the years go by and see sort of an emptiness in my peers who just party and fuck around. Actually, when you look at this through these kind of optics, a woman with a child might be exactly what I'm looking for. I get to see how she is with an ex (can she handle him?), with a child (can she check herself when things get overwhelming), with me (does she find time?), etc. I already have some of the answers and soon to get more. Now, then there is growth on my part as well in store here. I used to be really insecure and needy. Without relying on "other validation" I can appreciate the time we have together without being desperate for more. I can spend energy on work, my hobbies and friends while I can also enable my partner's ability to do so as well by helping out to take care of the child. This translates to her becoming emotionally stronger and a team player when things get tough with the kid, ex or what have you. All of this by letting go of control and unhealthy attachment and expectations. Will it work out? It depends on both of our resiliency to outside forces. But hey, we can only do the best we can at our current level of experience in this life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Alex and hope someone gets something from my experience and mindset.
I know this girl makes great money and is well educated. Has 3 kids sole custody said we come as a package. Well I saw your point but in reality I'll be second, even on holidays and other times I'm going to be involved meaning more $$. Regardless of how much I like her. So I just let it go to the friend zone. Too harsh to tell her what you are saying. She wasn't into me much in the beginning so I was okay. She had 7, 11, and 16 your old kids very busy with them 24/7. I hardly can meet her, so just texts. Or calls. Isn't it the right call? I can meet younger women with older kids on their own that's a better story. We can spend more time together.
But if I feel like I gota get out the picture we sent married or have kids just live together but it’s obvious that she is trying to control me due to the fact that she is deciding for me so that’s red flag
It seems I mostly attract single moms. Which I get , because im a single father myself. Thing is , alot of them already have 3, 4 kids ! Like we're barely 25 and you have 4 kids ?? And then plus my kids. I still would like at least 1 more kid and these girls with 3+ sometimes 2+ kids don't want anymore.
Bro I am running in same problem, I love her she loves me she has four kids like I don't know what to do I can't deal with kids because I don't have no kids but at the same time I love her and we have a good connection, and she loves me to death I really need an advice to my satiuation
@@khaledaltaiba9158yo man I’m also in the same situation but my partner has 3 kids would you like to speak about it maybe we can give eachother some good advice?
@@BigBoySpoon yeah sure, so for my satiuation I have not seen the kids, and what I have heard that the important thing is to see the kids how they going to interact with you but seen the kids is a must
What if she has 2 kids but has feminine old school traits like doesnt want me to cook clean wash and wants me out of the way while she does household chores and looking after kids...would she be a keeper or no?
I'm having a tough time. I'm 31. I have been penpals with this women since our youger years. We got back in touch. She has a 4 year old and we would see each other on the weekend, her free days. we both have small trouble with being emotionally disconnected. but it seems to be taking a toll on her. She had alot on her plate and I feel I should take a step back till she finishes cool and things with her x cool down. I am trying to figure out if I am ready to join a relationship with this woman and her child or if I value my single life and be able to do things spontaneously.
I said in my relationship of four months to her that her daughter was being a brat, and treating her like a princess. The daughter is 19. Needless to say that didn't go well. I realize I was out of line. I said I wouldn't let it happen again. We tried to work through it. a week later, She comes to me about her son. And how this is probably not gonna get any better.That she's gonna start spending more time with her son whenever he starts College to help him do his homework. "Do his homework". I proceeded to say that she does everything for him , but feed him with the spoon. He's 22. Now she needs space. It's been a trauma in her life and has affected 2 marriages and every relationship. I have been working on my self awareness, my emotional intelligence. As well as empathy. Would you give me any advice for how to get her back? Thank you.
Been in a relationship with my girlfriend for over a year. Everything is great between us, but her son has an influence on our relationship. He sometimes runs the show. I’m usually the type of man that likes to lead and make the plans. He’s only 12 years old and I’m picking what does he know about relationships. I’m somewhat getting tired of her, letting him make the decisions when we are together. I’m trying to bond with your son and get his trust. I know it’s going to take a while. I’m trying to be patient.
The kid should have no say so you gotta ask are you two on a date if so why is the kid even there? You literally have to do nothing with the kid your gf can go spend time with her kid on there time or the kid can go pick and choose while he is at his dads house where he should be living
I’m not sure no more becuz she seems like she trying to control me..I had my own account she bugged me to get joint accounts and I fell for it but now she wants to control that should I walk out or wats up..?
Ive been talking to a woman who has a kid. I really like her but ive never wanted to marry a woman with a child. It gives me anxiety thinking about it because i never wanted that, but Im really into this woman. Im trying to let go of my ego. Any advice?
Bro to look at it I dated 2 baby mamas bro it's a headache especially when she speaks about the child so just run away don't marry someone u didn't start even your parents will be dissapointed if u...the 1st one I dated used to make too much contact with the baby daddy she will even go to him Nd block my calls when she's there and speak to me when the baby daddy is not there look she used to give me stories and I would believe it's a long story ...we came to a point where I was understanding that she has to go to her baby daddy's place nd I ended up accepting it coz I was going through personal things too but I'm so happy that I left her it's was very hard but at the end of the day she gave me trauma that will stay within me for years and every girl i get I will do em bad coz I can't really trust women no more... so just know there always going to be contact between the father and mother and you will be left alone like a stranger...I know there r not the same but fvck don't marry someone u didn't start second hand bullshit I'm really suffering from trauma Bcoz of a single mom.
Some moms try to alienate the fathers cause they’re in relationships, for example if the mom was like hey I work at a certain time so I won’t be able to take her, the dad says ok, I’ll be by to pick her up and take her to practice and she says no, you can meet her there cause the bf will take her. Then the biggest question why would a mom do that when the father has the time to take her but the mother won’t let him?
I am running into a problem I met a girl we were friends for a year and now we are in a relationship for 8 months we have a good connection and everything, she loves me and I love her we really match and we understand each other she tells me I love you so much and I would do anything to make you happy she tells me a lot of sweet thing and she very good with me but she has four kids three of them are young I don't know what to do in this satiuation like I have not meet the kids or anything like that but I am really in between like I am afraid to say yes let's have a child I will regretting cause when she ask me when we ganna have our child I just got stuttered and I did not know what to say to her I am afraid that I have to deal of a lot of things because she has four kids. What should I do please I need an advice in fact I am 29 and I don't have no kids also?
When you think dating a mum with kids is a baggage then v blind yourself to no seeing the great benefits of dating them or what value they can bring to your life
You literally are proving his point. The conversation was literal. You are choosing to speak from an emotional sense. If you only see it form a literal perspective, children are a responsibility. That’s not a good or a bad thing, it is just a fact. They need time, attention, and they need shelter, food etc.
So what is the pros then? The fact is kids are responsibility and men deserve to feel 1st to get attention and the fact that will only happen with a women that has no kids
I Love one girl and she already married & have kid of 8 Yr, her age is 32 and she got divorce 7 Yr ago and my age 21 we both love each other alot but my parents will not accept her with kid What should I do?
Dating a girl with two teenage boys when I’m in my late 20s. Can someone say awkward. The oldest has drug and curfew problems. After 3 years dating, might be time to pull the plug on this shot, but those feelings bros…thoughts?
3 years is a long time man... what ended up happening? I'm dating a woman with 2 teenage sons and I'm 31. Just met em recently but eveything seems good so far
@@Matt_Iifts Hey man. Still with her for the moment. She's a good cook and looks great, so I'm a sucker for that lol. I'm gonna ride it out for now. I think it's best not to judge anyone too harshly for their age.
@@JoeAhmadGuitar I feel ya.. sometimes you just gotta focus on the good stuff. Plus a positive of the kids being teens is that they'll be out of the house sooner than later hopefully. Hope it works out for for ya
Been dating this women for 6 months just got out of our honeymoon phase and now her 2 y/o kid is starting to take its toll on our relationship. We get maybe 4-8 hours a weekend in person which is normally destroyed by the 2 y/o throwing a tantrum. At first I was fine with it now its every time we get together. I wanna take her on dates and etc but her 2 yo is always there which causes a fit EVERYWHERE causing use to either get kicked out or looked at the whole dinner. Now I'm starting to feel like time has been wasted on this women. Who I love dearly. Also need to mention her family are from another country so getting a sitter is rough. Idk what to do anymore and the baby daddy was a pos and she wants nothing to do with him.
This happend to me .. when the dad of her 2nd child was about to arrive she shew me away .. they slept together and discard me for a month.. then she still wants me to be around .. wtf
(My opinion to this is) children are not baggage their a blessing, Yes your correct about a man being number two my children do come first, but the love I give my boyfriend is different from what i give my children as for coparenting, my x has to respect my boyfriend and thats my job to make sure of that if an x gets involved from prior relationship then it's the women's job to put him in his place. My boyfriend should never have to deal with my children's father nor ever have to feel uncomfortable in anyway. if my x were ever to try and draw the line there will be serious consequences, and it's the same when I drop my children of to my x if he ever had a girlfriend I will respect that, it is sad that parents tend to put children in the middle out of spite, jealousy or using them as a way to be rebellious. I'm so sorry you had to go threw that not being able to see the children you raised but karma will fall into place, it always seems to. I do not expect my boyfriend to be thier father but the least a friend because I am a full package not a partial one. He doesn't have to maintain my children financially in any way shape or form but if it comes out of his heart to do so that is also fine. My children will respect him because he is the man of the house and that is also my job to make sure of that and I do give him permission to put them in their place if ever need to be, I do understand some women don't like that, but if you want him to be a step father to your kids then that is also a full package not a partial one if a women expects him to be father figure to her children then he should have a right to discipline them as well. For the women that don't want a stable relationship and that's their way of being I don't think it will be wise for that man to meet thier children ever if that is the case.
Tbh not always being number one sounds great though. Sometimes I want some attention and other times I need my space. A couple hours of attention per week is fine by me.
This was a good video i saw a really bad discouraging one about daring single moms right before the comments were so disgusting and sad. This was 100% better. Optimistic realistci etc. Thank you
@ingloriousbasterd6088 After 35, you won't have much options in the dating market, especially in smaller towns. Nowadays, with rent creeping up to $1,800+ for a 1br apartment, single income earners will be priced out on everything, if it hasn't happened already. Might as well build that bond with someone who you might have a future with, even if she already have kids. If it's going to be a roommate, it might as well be with the opposite sex. Another option is getting your passport and dating abroad.
Entering a relationship with someone with kids is like entering/ living somone else's life. I have no kids my self and I came along just fine with the youngest but the oldest just can't except me what ever I do. The dad is always mental busy worrying about the kids normal as it should be. I felt like I was already been married for 20 years and was living a 3 kids momlife. Less sex less emotional availability less time less attention less stable. The dad was acting like a teenager wanting to be free when he didn't have the kids that week. Made me tierd as I coulding live drinking party life every week. Singel parents just want to live a "normal life " like they used to with there ex but they kolla never get that with someone new with no kids. Due to emotional and physical starvation I caught my self fantasising about a made up parter which is just sad. For the singel parents this is normal and they are used to living for the kids. Please don't think someone else could ever except that kind of relationship especially people that don't have there own kids.
We'll any guy can fall for those situations if they aren't experienced with women, but,,,,, if you've had relationships I personally think it's dumb to get too involved, in North America it actually does "not" I repeat "not" make sense for men to get married. Basically your signing yourself up for a life of misery just to pay to split up in the end...
A guy will ALWAYS come 4th behind the Kids, family, and career. The first two we all get and understand but a woman putting you behind her career is a relationship killer.
Bro to look at it I dated 2 baby mamas bro it's a headache especially when she speaks about the child so just run away don't marry someone u didn't start even your parents will be dissapointed if u...the 1st one I dated used to make too much contact with the baby daddy she will even go to him Nd block my calls when she's there and speak to me when the baby daddy is not there look she used to give me stories and I would believe it's a long story ...we came to a point where I was understanding that she has to go to her baby daddy's place nd I ended up accepting it coz I was going through personal things too but I'm so happy that I left her it's was very hard but at the end of the day she gave me trauma that will stay within me for years and every girl i get I will do em bad coz I can't really trust women no more... so just know there always going to be contact between the father and mother and you will be left alone like a stranger...I know there r not the same but fvck don't marry someone u didn't start second hand bullshit I'm really suffering from trauma Bcoz of a single mom.
Not really,, Her kids are still #1, and most of women look for a man to support her Adult Lazy A$S kids,, and want nothing to do with you except your money.
These women will dump you for absolutely no reason whatsoever. Like you will have no idea what you did wrong because they do not view you as number 1. I’m telling you. Avoid this like the plague. They will make you think they love you and then realize no kid comes first and they will just move on with their kid like a blink
Sometimes these kind of situations like being a stepdad sometimes I dont feel like it's too good cause I mean if that woman kids gets along with you but then dating a woman who has a kid that is disrespectful wants to fight you puts hands on you and you hit the kid back and then you're the one who's going to jail
Such a terrible misconception that single dads should date single moms,NO!!! Stop that crap! I have been through that mess,it doesn't work! Its more financial burden and your gf will never view your kids as their own but expect you to see hers as yours mainly for financial gain!! Dont do it! But date a woman with no kids that will accept yours and you will last much mych longer I promise.
There is only one advice. Don't date women with kids. Period. Anything else is a weakness of character and no matter what you do, no one, and I mean, ON ONE respects a weak man. She, the kid or kids and her ex is a team against YOU....and all will think they are doing YOU a favor. Never compromise. If there is a second advice, it would be to say on your purpose and NEVER be someone's side simp.
ali bazzi their not baggage because people carry more emotional baggage that anything. Kids are another extension of you. So baggage is not in people, humans. How do you describe a thing to people. That’s not even equal. It’s like ... saying you can throw out crap like unused things to kids. I understand if your selfish but I’m sure you haven’t grown up yet. And it’s like saying, I don’t people with pets, they are baggage as well if you want to get in deeper.
@@vickyvang1983 So the extra cost, time, stress and problems are not baggage... A girl without a child can have problems yes like all of us can, but kids no matter how wonderful everything seems, can lead to bigger problems in the future, it can most definitely be seen as baggage.
My experience some women can be so evil its been 17yrs I have not seen my kids because my xwife big sister was jealous of me I love my wife and kids I worked so hard for them to cut a long story short women in UK have to many rights thay allways get the kids allways the judges are allways taking the womans side so sad
You really hit the nail on the head when you said women don’t understand the sacrifice a man has to make to date a woman with kids.
You're so right.
Sacrifice?
You have to be mentally disabled to be interested in a single mother.
I agree ☝️
Living someone else's life will always be a dubious endeavor. Live your own life, have your own children and forge your own path. Don't settle for someone's leftovers.
Make sure you love her before you get serious because the kids a part of the package and if they are young they will be looking up to you as a father figure and if you leave your not just gonna break her heart you break that kids heart too so don't play games with them
Really appreciate your comment.
It doesnt degrade anyone & you left profitable advice.
👏🏽💙
Amen.
The older kids are like whatever to me and the oldest hates me. But the two youngest ones love me a lot. We have a lot of issues because of this and even serious ones. False accusations as well. But I am fortunate to have children from my girlfriend who love me and have said the truth. And they back me up and expose the LIE of the oldest one.
My girlfriend loves me and I love her and we plan to marry each other but her family is against it and my family is against the relationship as well. My mom is the only one out of both our families who really are thumbs up and gung-ho about the relationship and about us marrying each other.
Also we have friends from her side who have been supportive. If you really love the woman though you are willing to go through the fire. I realize that I love her more and more now that I have gone through this fire because I would never have gone through this for any other female. In fact I don't have any patience for women at all. They just come with a baggage with or without children. But she has shown and proven that she loves me and I know deep in my heart that I love her. I changed my whole life to become a better man just to be a better provider for her and her kids. And she has also done many dramatic changes and adjusted her life which was already comfortable before I came in the picture and we both have proven to each other that we are serious about the relationship.
But one thing is for sure that just because you and your partner want to be together in a serious relationship and even if it's love the kids may not feel the same way.
In my situation there are five kids that she has. The two youngest ones 8yrs old and 9yrs old are all about me not leaving the house and they get sad when I go. The one in the middle which is 10yrs old just doesn't want to choose sides. She doesn't want any problems so she slips between the cracks and just agrees with everyone. The oldest son which is 16yrs old doesn't care about me being in a relationship with his mom as long as his mom is happy. But the oldest one which will be 18 years old in 6 months hates me. I don't think it's really hate towards me so much as for some reason she just doesn't want her mom to have a relationship. I have been giving her space because I feel that she is a grown woman and she has to decide to come towards me. She has accused me of serious things by which has all been debunked and everyone knows that she is lying. I don't feel comfortable saying this cuz I don't want to call her a liar but that's what it is. All lies. Because the two youngest ones already said and even the one in the middle which is 10 years old also confessed that the oldest one told them to say words by force.
All I know is that I want to be with my woman and my woman wants to be with me. She has heat from every direction because her oldest daughter keeps calling other people to butt in our relationship. But my girlfriend has blocked them all and proven that that will not affect her. My family also doesn't agree with me being with her except for my mom. But I could care less what they think because I am going to be with her regardless of what they say or think. I just want to be happy with her. I know that I will not quit on her as long as she does not quit on me. If she quits on me though, I can't do anything else but let her go. But as long as she doesn't quit I will definitely not quit.
Also she has kids with two different exes and they have called to bother. I don't know if both of them did or just one specifically. I do know that they have called to bother her because her oldest daughter called her dad about the situation.
So there's definitely a lot of baggage within a relationship with kids. Women could also go through this if they are single woman with no children and dating a single dad. Kids can be very overprotective about their parents. I just try to be very understanding in the situation I am currently in.
@@livelystone9367
I believe that everyone should be treated with respect. Regardless of their gender. This is not a gender issue, this is a family issue that is being addressed and it's a serious one too and many people are asking questions. No one should degrade anyone. Everyone should look at this and be adults about it and really discuss deeply about the situation because we could all end up helping each other when the time comes and when we have to actually deal with this real life issue.
Thank you
Not true
I dated a single mom for three years.
She was always ungrateful, she ended cheating on me.
So I immediately cut contact and ignored her. She kept contacting me, I blocked her number.
I had good intentions with her.
I'm never dating another leftover ever again. No thanks 👎🏻
It seems like you attract negative women. Leftovers🤣 sweetie anyone who isn’t a virgin is a leftover. You’re her leftovers don’t forget😂
Singlemoms are not looking for love..but most of the time they only need financial support
You should expect as much loyalty from the Mom as she gave to the father of her kids.
I just started dating a lady with a daughter and ex husband. It’s been drinks and food so far. I’m just figuring this stuff out as I go. Thank you for your time and I appreciate your POV.
Run away before it's too late for you. Don't be stupid.
Am dating a girl with a kid. She is stuck an the ex supports her less. I can be willing to invest in her but she must be ready to completely cut her ex out. Am also certain if the girl will make up for her challenges.
Don't do it , and how old are you and what's your confidence situation cause you will always be dealing with the guy that knocked her up first . Or just stop looking and do what you love .
As long as you love the woman and she loves you and you guys will not quit then it will work out. But love has to be the center of your relationship. Constant communication is very important with your partner and with the kids or kid. So keep that in mind. Do not allow any secrets to linger because those secrets can be very harmful and sometimes the kids don't realize how harmful any secret can be. So make sure that constant communication and transparency is being displayed because if not then it will eventually destroy your relationship with your partner.
@@kaykaw well, I am even worse, and you would say I’m really stupid. My lady is in the same shit, and the ex supports you know, child support and that shit. Well, I helped her with 4000, so she didn’t be stuck, and the fuckn woman does not spent a single penny of that child support for paying any stuff, so, I basically gave her 4 grand and she gives her 11 year old the whole money for buying video games instead of using it for the food he’s gonna eat, paying the rent when he’s living, the water he’s using, electricity he’s using, gasoline she spents by taking him to his grandma’s coz he “can’t be alone” while we are working. And the worst part, my dad is stuck in a debt and instead of helping him out, I helped this bitch who makes me always feel not secondary, but the fuckn 169th on her list. I’m the most idiot and I’d rather to die coz I’m so in love with her that I’m afraid to leave her. I’m the worst piece of shit ever, I can’t take it anymore, I should take all of those pills at once.
*Dating a woman with children can be incredibly rewarding, but it’s important to understand the responsibility and commitment involved.*
I’m 41 years old man single no kids and to be honest dating a woman with kids it’s not worth it at all , because they want money and to help her on everything please all the men out there stay away from women that has kids I had a very bad experience .
Im a single man and I always attract single moms for some reason. Literally one woman told me “is cause you don’t have baby momma issues, you have no children and you’re focused on what you want.”
To me it sounded like oh you’re gold and I want you to be responsible for my kids...
Im like
A
Eeeehhh no ...
Haha dude I haven’t thought of it that way but I’ve definitely attracted for than a few baby mamas and honestly dating women with kids can be very emotionally complex and definitely forced you to mature.
@@alexanderalvarado5879 yes, you have to mature. It is not easy, especially if the child is rude to you, you think why am I bothering, however s good women will listen and realise you are making sacrifices with your life, you can’t see her as often, she probabaly tired a lot, holidays suddenly cost 5 times more as you can only take them on school holidays and probabaly want 2 rooms in a hotel. Lots of things like that. Some days I worry, but only when we have had a fight, other days I see the good in it.
"Gold...responsible" ..these are compliments. Women choose whose League you are in by saying yes or no to you. Women like the one you described are the one whose League you are in. Anyone who was around children is responsible for looking out for them. Not just parents. So stay a little boy and play your video games, or grow up and do what adults do. It's up to you :-) just don't get all mad when reality happens around you. :-)
That's exactly what it is.
Thank you! I just entered a relationship where children are involved. I am trying to figure a lot of stuff out with this new dynamic. It's been a challenge indeed but I thank you for just talking about it!
I used to care about date woman with kids now it's ok the girl that always loved me had a kid and I was a drug dealer that didn't know what love is now I've changed my life around I just want to show her how special she is kid or no kid I love her regardless
Simp
Im dating a female with kids right now l finally realize that i rather be single im at the point in my life were i want my own kids not raise some one else kids for a change..
Rns
Than do it
@Dante's Cuckferno he can't pay child support if they aren't his kids
Have your own kid with her......duh
@@JayTC__ what is she’s tool old now?
The only woman with kids datable is the one who is looking for a couple not the one looking for a replacement or a provider
Real comment
I don’t understand it’s like every girl I meet has a kid. Dose every single girl out there have kids it’s kinda insane really
No Ryan, maybe it’s because you’re looking for “girls”....not every woman has children 😉
@@erinntay Well all the ones I meet do so it kinda seems like that
You're statement makes no sense its "Does any single girl out there not have kids"
I’m having the same problem
Men,
I viewed this video as I began to date a wonderful single woman with 2 teenage boys 10 months ago. I didn't want to believe what this speaker was referencing. Ten months later, I can honestly say, what this gentleman is speaking to is the honest truth. I have no kids of my own, will be starting a job with Northrop Grumman making close to 200k and wanted to make this lady the center of my life. Ultimately, nothing mattered. When we were "dating", there were times when weeks would go by when I could see her and yet we lived 15 minutes from each other! I was always relegated to 2nd class status and would always be.
How's your relationship now bro? I yhink you are way much better as before and maybe you are already married??
@@zapper4716 I would look to hear this too
Revi, you're actually third class. It goes children first, then women, then men. That is the reality created by biology itself. You can sulk over this, or you can accept it as the way the universe works.
You don't have to be first to be loved or to love. Try to pull your focus off yourself and think about those around you. :-)
@@legalfictionnaturalfact3969 Children follows the woman,the woman follows the man,the man follows GOD's Plan
Yup that's what happens when dating ppl with children sadly, You are neglected.
Its okay to date people with kids if you are childless just don't get serious it doesn't have to be a forever soulmate thing.
Please do me a favor and love your self, don’t make the huge mistake of falling in love with women with kids.
This is a great, honest, realistic video. You went through a painful situation with losing access to the children that you formed a bond with, yet you still gave a level-headed, fair assessment of dating women with children, in my opinion. I appreciate your perspective as a man with no children that has dated a single mother. I am a mother of 2, and am seeking understanding of the perspective men with no children have in dating me.
I have not had great experiences with dating men with no children and have all but promised to never date them again because of it. I think I have healthy dating habits and listening to this, sounds like I had normal relationship issues with those men. Maybe I’ll give you guys a shot again ;)
I have dated and gotten married to a woman with three children from her previous marriage. I can honestly say that there is not one single day where I do not regret having gone forward with this decision. I am treated as a resource. My bank account is always depleted at the end of the month. I am always lectured on how inadequate I am as compared to the previous husband. According to her everything I do is wrong. Furthermore, the kids do not like me since I am not their biological father and I have no say on how they should be raised. If she goes for a divorce, I will be destroyed financially. My comment is long but I believe that it is relevant for many men in my situation. The choice is clear. Do not get married, especially to women who have kids.
beta mentality
I am sorry this happened
That's what happens when you're a beta
Dated girl with a kid for a year. Her mom kicked her out and I let her stay temporarily. It's been 6 years already. Her kid hates me and her family hates me. Wtf am I doing?
Are you with her because you feel responsible now? I like to see things from different perspectives and learn from others. I would appreciate any input you may have.
6 years ????
This is a good video to listen to and I was recently in a relationship with a single mother
Guys,don't do it. It's terrible.
Great video. I needed this actually
kids+kids is better than kids+no kids
3:15 decision: full-time dad or part-time dad, say weekends
6:45 plan: dealing w/ her ex; male ego
principle: kids above all
discuss: access to kids later
Good video, I think the part time relationship is a good option. Dating women with children would appear to be complicated. If the ex is supporting the kids , paying child support, then that's a good sign. If however the women has nothing to do with the ex. who does not provide child support, then I think somewhere down the line you would be expected to financially support the child. I personally wouldn't start a relationship where the ex. gives no child support. Its important at an early stage to find this out.
The kid hates me. Cry's when he sees me. It's a horrible feeling being second.
Why did you do it,simp?
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I'd be outta there.
Maybe you didn’t go with gifts or smile enough.
You thought you would be first over their child ?! Especially if the relationship is new lol that’s your fault for being immature.
IF YOU GUYS ARE SINGLE... FIND A SINGLE GIRL WITH NO DRAMA...
If u are Single girl find a Man Who have a lot of money with no drama
@@Alyona12341 Make your own money! And I thought you ratchet types 'did n't need no man'??
Date yes. Marry no.
Idk
@@MuchCow9000 There is 'extra baggage' and their is children [huge difference].
I dated a single mother of a 4 year old girl for over a year, she was very nice to me during the first months, she would prepare food for me, wash my clothes and even invite me out for dinner and stuff like this. She had serious drinking and drugs issues and was even diagnosed as Bipolar borderline personality disorder. One day, she didnt reply to my messages nor calls for the whole day until she answered my call by accident at around 1 am then i heard like she was with a guy that she later told me he was just a friend. Anyway, things went a little bit better with time until we decides to move in together, after almost one week of living together, we had a relaxed night where we drunk and accidently had a small hard talk, in few minutes i heard someone ringing the bell, was the father of her kid, she left with him in the middle of the night and left me drunk as hell.
Damn foo, i would have left
Naw bro, that was the baby daddy clapping her cheeks get out
What was her name
@@chrisbowman8678 i was crazy in love with her even if we are not compatible at all....i broke up with her like 3 months ago. still hurting but i believe this is the right thing to do that took me months to realise that she is a hell of a person !
@@shotbypop7391 I was crazy in love with the W***, i broke up with her like 3 months ago. still hurting but i believe this is the right thing
Dont do that.
I usually don't respond to youtube videos but this is a very important topic as so many couples are divorced which means many moms who look for new dates.
What caught me the most is the fact that you spent years of your life raising someone else's kids and she didn't even have the slightest curtosey to let you and her kids keep in touch not even partially. In my opinion not only this is disrespectful to you, to say the least, but also very hurtful to her kids which probably saw you as their step-father by that time.
I think women should be well informed how much trauma they're causing to everyone when they disconnect their kids from significant adults in their life if they don't do it carefully, and perhaps even a couple of laws should be added to address such situations which are very common but not regulated.
Guys plz never do this mistake marrying a women with a kid is a hell kind of a life ....plz be safe I'm stuck in this situation now 😤 only God can help me
You shouldn't have married her if you feel that way.
I am 37 I met a girl 41 she got pregnant after a month of datingwe had a baby and lost the baby 5 months in. She turned 42 we tried again she is now 44. I don't think it will happen for us. She already has two kids and was married for 15 years and got divorced. The ex comes to th3 house every weekend. I was dealing with that but then she punched me on a couple of. Occassions so I left her.
Pros...none compared to a woman without kids. Cons...will destroy your self-esteem and turn you into a doormat.
chile9615 I assume you’re the woman with kids haha
Explain EXACTLY and concisely how you would like a woman to “make up for” having a child in your relationship. I’m a guy by the way and am honestly curious. Hotness? Willing to do extra chores around the house? What does make up for mean to you?
I took it as. They do not necessarily have to do anything specific or physically, but acknowledge the fact that the man is giving up Alot to be there for her and the child and just the extra bit of something in anyway or form would greatly be noticed.
Remember she'll love the family cat more than you. She will literally love you last out of everyone even friends. You'll be nothing but a paycheck and a roof with zero respect from anyone. If you're into being treated like a third class citizen by her, her family and friends, go for it I guess...
I once dated a girl who had a kid. It was great until it wasn't. This coincided with me (not) having a say regarding parenting as well as labeled too strict when all I really was hoping was self-reflection on when to say no to children's manipulation. Oh yeah, she got pregnant in the time period I spent a lot of time abroad for work and it turned out that I'm not the father but the first kid's daddy is. So, even though I only spent around a year with the toddler (3 y.o.), it still hurt to get him cut off just like that. Fast forward to today, where I'm dating this amazing woman who has a toddler that's almost 2 years old.
Why risk it again you, the person reading this, will ask? Because it's an opportunity for growth. I get attention from a lot of women but don't consider many of them partners I would want to have for various reasons (I've been since burnt by an emotional wreck, a nymphomaniac who fantasized about me sucking another guy's dick and an English teacher who played games, spied and I'm pretty sure cheated on me due to her own insecurities). So there's a lot of crazy out there around my age (33).
And there is this woman, 26, who is just amazing. Yeah, she has her own shortcomings much the same as I do. Yeah, there is an insecure/slightly controlling baby daddy involved whom I shall meet this Thursday. Yeah, I need to keep my eyes open and not invest too much too fast. Sure, I get that. But children can be so amazing to be around. I used to hate those little buggers but I'm growing more fond of them as the years go by and see sort of an emptiness in my peers who just party and fuck around. Actually, when you look at this through these kind of optics, a woman with a child might be exactly what I'm looking for. I get to see how she is with an ex (can she handle him?), with a child (can she check herself when things get overwhelming), with me (does she find time?), etc. I already have some of the answers and soon to get more.
Now, then there is growth on my part as well in store here. I used to be really insecure and needy. Without relying on "other validation" I can appreciate the time we have together without being desperate for more. I can spend energy on work, my hobbies and friends while I can also enable my partner's ability to do so as well by helping out to take care of the child. This translates to her becoming emotionally stronger and a team player when things get tough with the kid, ex or what have you. All of this by letting go of control and unhealthy attachment and expectations.
Will it work out? It depends on both of our resiliency to outside forces. But hey, we can only do the best we can at our current level of experience in this life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Alex and hope someone gets something from my experience and mindset.
Howre you doing now?
@@rysweit's been both amazing and hard at the same time. She's pregnant so I'm going to be a father. So yeah, I'm happy despite the struggles.
I know this girl makes great money and is well educated. Has 3 kids sole custody said we come as a package. Well I saw your point but in reality I'll be second, even on holidays and other times I'm going to be involved meaning more $$. Regardless of how much I like her. So I just let it go to the friend zone. Too harsh to tell her what you are saying. She wasn't into me much in the beginning so I was okay. She had 7, 11, and 16 your old kids very busy with them 24/7. I hardly can meet her, so just texts. Or calls. Isn't it the right call? I can meet younger women with older kids on their own that's a better story. We can spend more time together.
How could they possible "make up for have kids"? I like the thought, but what would do it?
I'd be happy if they just acknowledge the fact that you both often miss out on seeing each other because of their life choices, not yours.
Her kids are not your responsibility your money is your money and have some side girls if you follow all this you'll be good playboys !!!
But if I feel like I gota get out the picture we sent married or have kids just live together but it’s obvious that she is trying to control me due to the fact that she is deciding for me so that’s red flag
Good advice 👍
It seems I mostly attract single moms. Which I get , because im a single father myself. Thing is , alot of them already have 3, 4 kids ! Like we're barely 25 and you have 4 kids ?? And then plus my kids. I still would like at least 1 more kid and these girls with 3+ sometimes 2+ kids don't want anymore.
🤣🤣
🤣🤣
Bro I am running in same problem, I love her she loves me she has four kids like I don't know what to do I can't deal with kids because I don't have no kids but at the same time I love her and we have a good connection, and she loves me to death I really need an advice to my satiuation
@@khaledaltaiba9158yo man I’m also in the same situation but my partner has 3 kids would you like to speak about it maybe we can give eachother some good advice?
@@BigBoySpoon yeah sure, so for my satiuation I have not seen the kids, and what I have heard that the important thing is to see the kids how they going to interact with you but seen the kids is a must
Why would I want to do time for a crime that I didn't commit? If you don't have children, stay far.....away from women who do.
I'm doubting what to do, I really like her but its Kind of rough to digest that, any feedback, pls?
Howd it turn out for you? I'd like to learn from your experience if I can
What if she has 2 kids but has feminine old school traits like doesnt want me to cook clean wash and wants me out of the way while she does household chores and looking after kids...would she be a keeper or no?
I'm having a tough time. I'm 31. I have been penpals with this women since our youger years. We got back in touch. She has a 4 year old and we would see each other on the weekend, her free days. we both have small trouble with being emotionally disconnected. but it seems to be taking a toll on her. She had alot on her plate and I feel I should take a step back till she finishes cool and things with her x cool down. I am trying to figure out if I am ready to join a relationship with this woman and her child or if I value my single life and be able to do things spontaneously.
Real man don't waste time on woman with kids ! Please start respecting yourself . There are so many beautiful childless girls around. Open your eyes
Hey Alex, What about when you have a kid with the single mom with prior kids? Then your biological kid is part of the mixed family dynamic?
I said in my relationship of four months to her that her daughter was being a brat, and treating her like a princess. The daughter is 19. Needless to say that didn't go well. I realize I was out of line. I said I wouldn't let it happen again. We tried to work through it. a week later, She comes to me about her son. And how this is probably not gonna get any better.That she's gonna start spending more time with her son whenever he starts College to help him do his homework. "Do his homework". I proceeded to say that she does everything for him , but feed him with the spoon. He's 22. Now she needs space. It's been a trauma in her life and has affected 2 marriages and every relationship. I have been working on my self awareness, my emotional intelligence. As well as empathy. Would you give me any advice for how to get her back? Thank you.
Well thanks for this .Calling it quits!I prefer learning from others experience
You are right brother.. They don’t appreciate that. They think you force to
Been in a relationship with my girlfriend for over a year. Everything is great between us, but her son has an influence on our relationship. He sometimes runs the show. I’m usually the type of man that likes to lead and make the plans. He’s only 12 years old and I’m picking what does he know about relationships. I’m somewhat getting tired of her, letting him make the decisions when we are together. I’m trying to bond with your son and get his trust. I know it’s going to take a while. I’m trying to be patient.
The kid should have no say so you gotta ask are you two on a date if so why is the kid even there? You literally have to do nothing with the kid your gf can go spend time with her kid on there time or the kid can go pick and choose while he is at his dads house where he should be living
I m dating now and it’s stressful 🤦♂️
But what if I really like him I can't move on because I have a past ?
I tried it before wasn't good at all
I’m not sure no more becuz she seems like she trying to control me..I had my own account she bugged me to get joint accounts and I fell for it but now she wants to control that should I walk out or wats up..?
Get out ASAP.
nah dude thats not right, end the joint account, if she has a problem with it get out!
Okay, so what's the pros?
You are completely right about the kid scenario after the relationship is over, I have been through the same situation.
Ive been talking to a woman who has a kid. I really like her but ive never wanted to marry a woman with a child. It gives me anxiety thinking about it because i never wanted that, but Im really into this woman. Im trying to let go of my ego. Any advice?
Bro to look at it I dated 2 baby mamas bro it's a headache especially when she speaks about the child so just run away don't marry someone u didn't start even your parents will be dissapointed if u...the 1st one I dated used to make too much contact with the baby daddy she will even go to him Nd block my calls when she's there and speak to me when the baby daddy is not there look she used to give me stories and I would believe it's a long story ...we came to a point where I was understanding that she has to go to her baby daddy's place nd I ended up accepting it coz I was going through personal things too but I'm so happy that I left her it's was very hard but at the end of the day she gave me trauma that will stay within me for years and every girl i get I will do em bad coz I can't really trust women no more... so just know there always going to be contact between the father and mother and you will be left alone like a stranger...I know there r not the same but fvck don't marry someone u didn't start second hand bullshit I'm really suffering from trauma Bcoz of a single mom.
Howd it turn out?!!
Some moms try to alienate the fathers cause they’re in relationships, for example if the mom was like hey I work at a certain time so I won’t be able to take her, the dad says ok, I’ll be by to pick her up and take her to practice and she says no, you can meet her there cause the bf will take her. Then the biggest question why would a mom do that when the father has the time to take her but the mother won’t let him?
I am running into a problem I met a girl we were friends for a year and now we are in a relationship for 8 months we have a good connection and everything, she loves me and I love her we really match and we understand each other she tells me I love you so much and I would do anything to make you happy she tells me a lot of sweet thing and she very good with me but she has four kids three of them are young I don't know what to do in this satiuation like I have not meet the kids or anything like that but I am really in between like I am afraid to say yes let's have a child I will regretting cause when she ask me when we ganna have our child I just got stuttered and I did not know what to say to her I am afraid that I have to deal of a lot of things because she has four kids. What should I do please I need an advice in fact I am 29 and I don't have no kids also?
Don’t have kids with her. Don’t let her trick you either.
@@111JenA thank you for your advice
Don't have kids with her yooo bro you will be putting yourself through hell bro how can u date someone with 4 kids I wouldn't even smash
When you think dating a mum with kids is a baggage then v blind yourself to no seeing the great benefits of dating them or what value they can bring to your life
You literally are proving his point. The conversation was literal. You are choosing to speak from an emotional sense. If you only see it form a literal perspective, children are a responsibility. That’s not a good or a bad thing, it is just a fact. They need time, attention, and they need shelter, food etc.
Lola- Tutu Vlog can you explain the values of dating a woman with kids?
@@Maremare680 silence
So what is the pros then? The fact is kids are responsibility and men deserve to feel 1st to get attention and the fact that will only happen with a women that has no kids
@@Maremare680 There is only one rule. Do no do it!!!
How about a video about women with grown children in a marriage??? Thanks for your time....excellent video, however.
Solid advice my dude
Guys, don't do it! You always will be the stranger in this "family" always!! I did it twice. Stupid me 🤦♂
I Love one girl and she already married & have kid of 8 Yr, her age is 32 and she got divorce 7 Yr ago and my age 21 we both love each other alot but my parents will not accept her with kid
What should I do?
Run
Dating a girl with two teenage boys when I’m in my late 20s. Can someone say awkward. The oldest has drug and curfew problems. After 3 years dating, might be time to pull the plug on this shot, but those feelings bros…thoughts?
3 years is a long time man... what ended up happening? I'm dating a woman with 2 teenage sons and I'm 31. Just met em recently but eveything seems good so far
@@Matt_Iifts Hey man. Still with her for the moment. She's a good cook and looks great, so I'm a sucker for that lol. I'm gonna ride it out for now. I think it's best not to judge anyone too harshly for their age.
@@JoeAhmadGuitar I feel ya.. sometimes you just gotta focus on the good stuff. Plus a positive of the kids being teens is that they'll be out of the house sooner than later hopefully. Hope it works out for for ya
@@Matt_Iifts Thnks , likewise!
Run
Been dating this women for 6 months just got out of our honeymoon phase and now her 2 y/o kid is starting to take its toll on our relationship. We get maybe 4-8 hours a weekend in person which is normally destroyed by the 2 y/o throwing a tantrum. At first I was fine with it now its every time we get together. I wanna take her on dates and etc but her 2 yo is always there which causes a fit EVERYWHERE causing use to either get kicked out or looked at the whole dinner. Now I'm starting to feel like time has been wasted on this women. Who I love dearly.
Also need to mention her family are from another country so getting a sitter is rough. Idk what to do anymore and the baby daddy was a pos and she wants nothing to do with him.
RUNN!!! Heartbreak waiting to happen. There is no space for you clearly.
This happend to me .. when the dad of her 2nd child was about to arrive she shew me away .. they slept together and discard me for a month.. then she still wants me to be around .. wtf
Run fast
(My opinion to this is) children are not baggage their a blessing, Yes your correct about a man being number two my children do come first, but the love I give my boyfriend is different from what i give my children as for coparenting, my x has to respect my boyfriend and thats my job to make sure of that if an x gets involved from prior relationship then it's the women's job to put him in his place. My boyfriend should never have to deal with my children's father nor ever have to feel uncomfortable in anyway. if my x were ever to try and draw the line there will be serious consequences, and it's the same when I drop my children of to my x if he ever had a girlfriend I will respect that, it is sad that parents tend to put children in the middle out of spite, jealousy or using them as a way to be rebellious. I'm so sorry you had to go threw that not being able to see the children you raised but karma will fall into place, it always seems to. I do not expect my boyfriend to be thier father but the least a friend because I am a full package not a partial one. He doesn't have to maintain my children financially in any way shape or form but if it comes out of his heart to do so that is also fine. My children will respect him because he is the man of the house and that is also my job to make sure of that and I do give him permission to put them in their place if ever need to be, I do understand some women don't like that, but if you want him to be a step father to your kids then that is also a full package not a partial one if a women expects him to be father figure to her children then he should have a right to discipline them as well. For the women that don't want a stable relationship and that's their way of being I don't think it will be wise for that man to meet thier children ever if that is the case.
Loved your comment, thanks for sharing.
There are no benefits for the man. Only for you and the kid 😂
Sir, you already lost me at the start of the video, when you mentioned that there are positives dating a single mom.
step parents should have custody rights after a long term relationship legally
Yessir 👈
Fuck no
Because that will most likely mean We also gotta pay for that right !
Tbh not always being number one sounds great though. Sometimes I want some attention and other times I need my space. A couple hours of attention per week is fine by me.
Spot on...
Agree with this content 100%
needed this becuase im a good person but the ex is something else n im a female
This was a good video i saw a really bad discouraging one about daring single moms right before the comments were so disgusting and sad. This was 100% better. Optimistic realistci etc. Thank you
🙏
It depends on what age if u 35+ it makes sense
@ingloriousbasterd6088 After 35, you won't have much options in the dating market, especially in smaller towns. Nowadays, with rent creeping up to $1,800+ for a 1br apartment, single income earners will be priced out on everything, if it hasn't happened already. Might as well build that bond with someone who you might have a future with, even if she already have kids. If it's going to be a roommate, it might as well be with the opposite sex. Another option is getting your passport and dating abroad.
Entering a relationship with someone with kids is like entering/ living somone else's life. I have no kids my self and I came along just fine with the youngest but the oldest just can't except me what ever I do.
The dad is always mental busy worrying about the kids normal as it should be. I felt like I was already been married for 20 years and was living a 3 kids momlife. Less sex less emotional availability less time less attention less stable. The dad was acting like a teenager wanting to be free when he didn't have the kids that week. Made me tierd as I coulding live drinking party life every week. Singel parents just want to live a "normal life " like they used to with there ex but they kolla never get that with someone new with no kids.
Due to emotional and physical starvation I caught my self fantasising about a made up parter which is just sad. For the singel parents this is normal and they are used to living for the kids. Please don't think someone else could ever except that kind of relationship especially people that don't have there own kids.
As a man who dated 40 yes 40 single moms. PROS-none
The end. Repeat. Pro= none run 🏃
Thank you. So much.. Then I don’t need her regarding this video. It’s very challenging being in this situation.
If you see a woman that has kids
RUN 🏃 don’t look back
We'll any guy can fall for those situations if they aren't experienced with women, but,,,,, if you've had relationships I personally think it's dumb to get too involved, in North America it actually does "not" I repeat "not" make sense for men to get married. Basically your signing yourself up for a life of misery just to pay to split up in the end...
A guy will ALWAYS come 4th behind the Kids, family, and career. The first two we all get and understand but a woman putting you behind her career is a relationship killer.
No pros. Been there done that. Doesn't matter if they are adults.
Bro to look at it I dated 2 baby mamas bro it's a headache especially when she speaks about the child so just run away don't marry someone u didn't start even your parents will be dissapointed if u...the 1st one I dated used to make too much contact with the baby daddy she will even go to him Nd block my calls when she's there and speak to me when the baby daddy is not there look she used to give me stories and I would believe it's a long story ...we came to a point where I was understanding that she has to go to her baby daddy's place nd I ended up accepting it coz I was going through personal things too but I'm so happy that I left her it's was very hard but at the end of the day she gave me trauma that will stay within me for years and every girl i get I will do em bad coz I can't really trust women no more... so just know there always going to be contact between the father and mother and you will be left alone like a stranger...I know there r not the same but fvck don't marry someone u didn't start second hand bullshit I'm really suffering from trauma Bcoz of a single mom.
Dates been getting canceled left and right lately. Im bouncing out for a girl with no kids 🙌🏻
Lol
I’m 22 she’s 22. She has 1 son and a baby in here and she don’t even if it’s with the same guy or not. What should I do😂 I own my own business 🤔
Run like hell
Hello
If the man has older kids(18years old to 21) and the women has older kids then it's a little easier..
Not really,,
Her kids are still #1,
and most of women look for a man to support her Adult Lazy A$S kids,, and want nothing to do with you except your money.
These women will dump you for absolutely no reason whatsoever. Like you will have no idea what you did wrong because they do not view you as number 1. I’m telling you. Avoid this like the plague. They will make you think they love you and then realize no kid comes first and they will just move on with their kid like a blink
I will never do such thing
As a men
I wouldn't date a woman with kids personally.
Sometimes these kind of situations like being a stepdad sometimes I dont feel like it's too good cause I mean if that woman kids gets along with you but then dating a woman who has a kid that is disrespectful wants to fight you puts hands on you and you hit the kid back and then you're the one who's going to jail
Such a terrible misconception that single dads should date single moms,NO!!! Stop that crap! I have been through that mess,it doesn't work! Its more financial burden and your gf will never view your kids as their own but expect you to see hers as yours mainly for financial gain!! Dont do it! But date a woman with no kids that will accept yours and you will last much mych longer I promise.
There is only one advice. Don't date women with kids. Period.
Anything else is a weakness of character and no matter what you do, no one, and I mean, ON ONE respects a weak man.
She, the kid or kids and her ex is a team against YOU....and all will think they are doing YOU a favor. Never compromise.
If there is a second advice, it would be to say on your purpose and NEVER be someone's side simp.
Baggage!? Everyone has baggage. Men and women
You are wrong bitch.
ali bazzi their not baggage because people carry more emotional baggage that anything. Kids are another extension of you. So baggage is not in people, humans. How do you describe a thing to people. That’s not even equal. It’s like ... saying you can throw out crap like unused things to kids. I understand if your selfish but I’m sure you haven’t grown up yet. And it’s like saying, I don’t people with pets, they are baggage as well if you want to get in deeper.
ali bazzi so you a person that follows instead of actually knowing that it’s my true. I see your point now.
@@vickyvang1983 So the extra cost, time, stress and problems are not baggage... A girl without a child can have problems yes like all of us can, but kids no matter how wonderful everything seems, can lead to bigger problems in the future, it can most definitely be seen as baggage.
Yes but CHILDREN are aN EXTRA SPECIAL kind of baggage
My experience some women can be so evil its been 17yrs I have not seen my kids because my xwife big sister was jealous of me I love my wife and kids I worked so hard for them to cut a long story short women in UK have to many rights thay allways get the kids allways the judges are allways taking the womans side so sad