Do not do it. Everyone warned me. Everyone, but nope I thought I could make it work. Kids loved me. After a 6-year LTR it ended up with her threatening that she'd go to the police if I contacted her again. STAY CLEAR of this situation fellas. Stay clear.
@@amrengirl9922 Thank you for your input. I agree she internally suffered. I agree and perhaps I didn't do enough to support her. Beautiful woman she was. The whole problem was I wanted kids with her. I couldn't allow for it for many reasons including she already had two, cost, small apartment, near ex, bio clock...etc. It was virtually unsustainable. She needed her ex-husband most who lived down the street (turned out they were inseparable). I was blocking them. I couldn't no longer commute to and from work long distance anymore. She broke with me. To my best knowledge, she swiftly met my replacement (who has a teenage son), and right now is enjoying his company. It hurts that much more when you went above and beyond, covered her ex's expenses for many years... You can't travel, move, no spontaneity, you never discover or get to know yourselves and her friends belittle you for your "inexperience" and "immaturity". We were too busy raising kids. You get the short end of the stick for sure. Every single person including the elderly since day 1 warned me failure was inevitable. So much for swimming upstream! I suppose it's for the better, but my heart feels like a raisin. Not worth it.
It is. I find it much easier when you can be on respectful terms with the mother of their children if possible. Then it can actually be really beautiful.
My thoughts on dating a single parent with kids can become a very difficult or stronger bond into a relationship. A person who is dating someone with kids, you have to always remember this “That you’ll never be they’re #1” meaning: The things they’re kids may put the parent into like being disobedient, disrespectful, stealing, sneaking, or just plain being out of order with they’re parent, A single parent will never just cut them loose, but let it be you! Doing all the disrespectful things and watch how you’ll get disciplined or better cut! I’m old school and I was brought up being a kid was to stay in a kids place when adults are talking, but they’re single parents out there who allow they’re babes too join in the conversation like “Really” and never teach the kids etiquette manners or better structure in the household. I’ve dated a few women with kids and believe me has a man with no kids of my own I’ve learnt a whole lot of being patient as well someday having a child of my own. Other then beside learning being patient with other people kids. It comes down towards who is raising these kids? It’s been times I just had to figure out who is raising who or who is taking care who? So it’s hard and the best thing I can address to anyone who thinking about dating a single parent take your time out a be observant to how the kids are being brought up before you make that decision to settle down with a single parent. Because it’s true life is too short to date a single parent if you yourself don’t have any. It takes strong will power and teamwork to make the dream work!!
Generally wise advice. I would summarize it into: you get a package, not only the man or woman but the kids too... because a parent has unconditional love for their children. I guess it's easier to understand it all when you are a parent yourself. For sure dating someone with kids is more responsibility and in a healthy setting you are going to get attached to their kids too, and if you split with the parent you will miss them. Well yes it's harder but if you are with the one you love that's the reward. In life, many great things don't come easy, love comes with vulnerability. One day, those kids may become as close as your own and even become your caregivers...
Well said sir. You’d really appreciate a Jan. 1, 2017 article published in the Naples Daily News newspaper titled, “Your Kids Should Not Be the Most Important People in the Family”. The author makes some reallllly compelling claims. Things that make you go, hmm.. 🤔
I wish I’ve read this before I met my boyfriend. In my case, it’s more the parenting style and how the kids treat their own father is what stressing me out. And I can’t say anything about it.
But how does one go about dating a single parent? How do you go about it? I am dating a guy with two baby girls and I’m struggling getting over personal insecurities. I know him and his ex wife didn’t work out for a reason, but her having his babies makes me a bit insecure with the fact they’re very tied now
Took the red pill and avoided single mothers since high school. Also had a vasectomy. Happy knife,happy life. Best thing I've ever done. Not having the court system control my life no way. Today guys are even getting hit with child support and back pay for kids that aren't even theirs. I'm also immune to divorce rape and weaponized child support. Can't complain.
@@tarynlutz2761 I said DIVORCE RAPE. Some call it divorce fleece. This is courtroom stuff not sex. I can’t be divorced and financially raped if I’m not married.
You may also be immune to your own child's love too. Well everyone is free to live their life the way they want to. But man being the father of your precious kid(s) is a burst of love no one can explain fully, until it hits you.
@@nahalymtl9445 I already said it's the best thing I've ever done and can't complain. I'm not an orphan. Have mom and dad. Have 27 niece and nephew rentals. Retired at 45 two years ago.
The thing I’ve noticed about dating someone with children even tho I’ve not done it myself is that if you don’t have kids of your own but the other person does your autimaticly supposed to know everything isn’t as straight foward as all that
My experience exactly! You’re thrown into the deep end. You’ll never develop the relationship dynamic you otherwise would with your own family. You’ll never be able to have kids of your own.
My BF has a daughter, and I'm not sure how to feel about it. It is especially hard for me because we are both so young, I'm 19 and he is 20 (he had her when he was 18). I have actually never meet the little girl, because she is in a different country. But I feel horrible because he basically abandoned her and he is here spending all his money and time with me but he isn't a good dad to her and that makes me worry about how he will be with my kids
Girl, run and don’t look back. They only thing worse than dating a man with kids is dating a deadbeat dad. Trust me, he’ll show you his true colors if you give him long enough.
me and you are in the same thing i am dating with a woman have four children and i dont have no kids but we love each other and she does everything we never fight or anything like that we been for year and half but i have not seen the kids yet , so i am not sure should i just let her go or not i fact she is really sweet with me and she support me with everything if i needed i am 30 and she is 36 i think everyday and its really hard to decide i really need some advices about it casue i cant stop thinking about it
@@khaledaltaiba1389 this comment being so long ago me thinking about it now it's clear to me that if you love something enough you will fight for it and you will never let it go nothing will get in between that Ive realize that and being a trans woman can't be that bad I mean I didn't imagine myself with children until like 45ish but yeah it is what it is I love him and I haven't got time to bond with his daughter yet I want to say our daughter but you know that whole stepmom thing it's so confusing I almost beat the s*** out of his baby momma and we fight all the time so we're totally not in the same boat but yeah like I said if you love something or not you better fight for it and don't let it go cuz you never know when's the next time you come across that kind of love
@@illmanili thank you so much for you advice it really helped me and your right if you love you will fight for it no matter what i have not been crossed a love like that all my past relationship is so bad, but thank you and hope you the best you and him
What if the child’s mom passed before the child turned 2 ? I felt so bad after hearing that his mom passed. Even though she was adding problems in personal relationship. I still felt bad for the infant. I wanted to help build and raise a family eevwn more
Chenda William if I was in that situation I’d talk to the man. Because both the kids are of age and his ex wife has no reason to be coming around. That’s a problem in its self she obviously doesn’t know her boundaries and your man isn’t making her know her place.
I’m dating a guy, I’m 23 and he’s 34. I’m feeling very insecure about it but also I’m so insanely drawn to him. I want to get over it but I’m struggling bc I don’t like being the second of everything. Marriage, baby, home ect. How do I get over this?
I’ve been there and I can give you some advice… do not deny your feelings. That inner voice making you feel insecure (I had the same thoughts)… you’re not insecure, it is an internal warning that the situation you’re in isn’t right for you. Please don’t ignore the feelings. I suffered silently and repressed so many feelings just to keep the peace and keep the guy. It wasn’t worth it in the end.
Currently dating a man with kids. I’d not be dating him if I was his number 1, that would be his kids. Same as it would be if it was our kids, kids always come first.
That’s why my first and only marriage ended. His children and their mother. I didn’t feel ok having children with him and I’m glad I didn’t. I would of been stuck a single mother.
Maybe I‘m one of the rare exceptions, but my husband’s two kids love me.🙈 They even told their biological mother that, because they felt bad for her and kind of apologized for their feelings. They even want to live with us, but the mother doesn‘t allow it (yet). Be nice to the kids, be open-hearted and you at least have a chance of them liking you. BUT I gotta say, I know a lot of relationships, where kids do not get along with the new partner and they make that very clear. If my parents would‘ve split when I was a kid, I would‘ve been just the same… I would‘ve made the life of my mom‘s or dad‘s new partner a living hell for sure.😅🤭 Maybe that‘s the difference with my husband’s kids. They saw, that mom and dad aren‘t getting along anymore and love how he and I are together. Think about it, they say, they wouldn‘t want their parents to get back together, because it would mean, that they would lose me. They truly are special.
I have a 2 year old....my wife was caught cheating and decided to live with her boyfriend leaving me with all 4 of our kids but want me to now be ok with the baby 2year spending the night with her and him and wants me to be ok with it she really doesnt see anything wrong with it theyve been seeing eachother and living together 6 months
Why would I date somebody that has children you learn to love these children you will never have the right to discipline them you will never have a say in their life as mum will always stick up for these kids regardless how bad they treat you then you are obligated to put them through school pay for college by their first car pay for their wedding's etc for the child to turn around when he or she gets upset and say you're not my father. Or you build a magnificent bond with the child for the mother to turn around and leave you because you're not the biological father you were never see these kids again you shall lose their bond with the child and your new partner takes half your assets it is a big L for men.
@@jeezustheone You own up, hold down a job, do everything right, and one fine day you find out the dude is coming over the apartment while you're at work or on business. It's stuff like that that can break that real man. You go on vacations w/ kids, you pay for everything, she ignores you the whole time focusing on kids, every time. You go w/o kids hoping to spend quality time, but kids are always on her mind, ex is calling, and all she wants is to return to them--every time. Odds are against you, every minute of every day, for the rest of your days together.
@@adamlapinski7590 every relationship in some ways are risky. I can only worry about what I am being if she wants to cheat then so be it. I also don't have the need to so needy.
Do not do it. Everyone warned me. Everyone, but nope I thought I could make it work. Kids loved me. After a 6-year LTR it ended up with her threatening that she'd go to the police if I contacted her again. STAY CLEAR of this situation fellas. Stay clear.
Adam Lapinski if they are old enough to understand not to be rude they won’t say anything but just internally suffer
@@amrengirl9922 Thank you for your input. I agree she internally suffered. I agree and perhaps I didn't do enough to support her. Beautiful woman she was. The whole problem was I wanted kids with her. I couldn't allow for it for many reasons including she already had two, cost, small apartment, near ex, bio clock...etc. It was virtually unsustainable. She needed her ex-husband most who lived down the street (turned out they were inseparable). I was blocking them. I couldn't no longer commute to and from work long distance anymore. She broke with me. To my best knowledge, she swiftly met my replacement (who has a teenage son), and right now is enjoying his company. It hurts that much more when you went above and beyond, covered her ex's expenses for many years... You can't travel, move, no spontaneity, you never discover or get to know yourselves and her friends belittle you for your "inexperience" and "immaturity". We were too busy raising kids. You get the short end of the stick for sure. Every single person including the elderly since day 1 warned me failure was inevitable. So much for swimming upstream! I suppose it's for the better, but my heart feels like a raisin. Not worth it.
That child will always ask questions on behalf of the mother.. be careful
So true
true i was that child sent by mom while my father was with someone else
😂 deviouse strategy. I wonder what the reason is.
🤔 thank you for the advice!
And when the mother says yes as if he is and adult ....pffff
Dating a man with kids is really hard when you are not used to it.
It work both ways think about it🤔
It is. I find it much easier when you can be on respectful terms with the mother of their children if possible. Then it can actually be really beautiful.
You Really Wanted To Throw That In There🤣 No Shit It’s Harder Dating Women I Bet
Extremely
Life is too short. Why date someone who has children if you don't have any of your own. Plenty of fish in the sea. Save yourself the drama.
truuuuuuuuuuuuuue
Im willing to try
Love is love
@@diaz6884 The only why I would consider it, is if that women was young and hot maybe
@@captainsisko7629 carnal thinking it will be hard to find true love
My thoughts on dating a single parent with kids can become a very difficult or stronger bond into a relationship. A person who is dating someone with kids, you have to always remember this “That you’ll never be they’re #1” meaning: The things they’re kids may put the parent into like being disobedient, disrespectful, stealing, sneaking, or just plain being out of order with they’re parent, A single parent will never just cut them loose, but let it be you! Doing all the disrespectful things and watch how you’ll get disciplined or better cut! I’m old school and I was brought up being a kid was to stay in a kids place when adults are talking, but they’re single parents out there who allow they’re babes too join in the conversation like “Really” and never teach the kids etiquette manners or better structure in the household. I’ve dated a few women with kids and believe me has a man with no kids of my own I’ve learnt a whole lot of being patient as well someday having a child of my own. Other then beside learning being patient with other people kids. It comes down towards who is raising these kids? It’s been times I just had to figure out who is raising who or who is taking care who? So it’s hard and the best thing I can address to anyone who thinking about dating a single parent take your time out a be observant to how the kids are being brought up before you make that decision to settle down with a single parent. Because it’s true life is too short to date a single parent if you yourself don’t have any. It takes strong will power and teamwork to make the dream work!!
Generally wise advice. I would summarize it into: you get a package, not only the man or woman but the kids too... because a parent has unconditional love for their children. I guess it's easier to understand it all when you are a parent yourself. For sure dating someone with kids is more responsibility and in a healthy setting you are going to get attached to their kids too, and if you split with the parent you will miss them. Well yes it's harder but if you are with the one you love that's the reward. In life, many great things don't come easy, love comes with vulnerability. One day, those kids may become as close as your own and even become your caregivers...
Well said sir. You’d really appreciate a Jan. 1, 2017 article published in the Naples Daily News newspaper titled, “Your Kids Should Not Be the Most Important People in the Family”. The author makes some reallllly compelling claims. Things that make you go, hmm.. 🤔
I was in a relationship with some one with children. They accepted me immediately, but on separation, blood is thicker than water.
I wish I’ve read this before I met my boyfriend. In my case, it’s more the parenting style and how the kids treat their own father is what stressing me out. And I can’t say anything about it.
this is such a great video. as a single parent myself i feel there is so much value in dating another single parent.
But how does one go about dating a single parent? How do you go about it? I am dating a guy with two baby girls and I’m struggling getting over personal insecurities. I know him and his ex wife didn’t work out for a reason, but her having his babies makes me a bit insecure with the fact they’re very tied now
I don't personally know that one, but at least you will have at least one child who accepts you.
Took the red pill and avoided single mothers since high school.
Also had a vasectomy. Happy knife,happy life.
Best thing I've ever done.
Not having the court system control my life no way.
Today guys are even getting hit with child support and back pay for kids that aren't even theirs.
I'm also immune to divorce rape and weaponized child support.
Can't complain.
I am with you my brother
You are not immune to rape. Men with vasectomies can still be rapists and it’s ignorant to pretend otherwise
@@tarynlutz2761
I said DIVORCE RAPE.
Some call it divorce fleece.
This is courtroom stuff not sex.
I can’t be divorced and financially raped if I’m not married.
You may also be immune to your own child's love too. Well everyone is free to live their life the way they want to. But man being the father of your precious kid(s) is a burst of love no one can explain fully, until it hits you.
@@nahalymtl9445
I already said it's the best thing I've ever done and can't complain.
I'm not an orphan. Have mom and dad.
Have 27 niece and nephew rentals.
Retired at 45 two years ago.
Nightmare with people with children. Their children will always hate you.
True in my experience.
The thing I’ve noticed about dating someone with children even tho I’ve not done it myself is that if you don’t have kids of your own but the other person does your autimaticly supposed to know everything isn’t as straight foward as all that
My experience exactly! You’re thrown into the deep end. You’ll never develop the relationship dynamic you otherwise would with your own family. You’ll never be able to have kids of your own.
My BF has a daughter, and I'm not sure how to feel about it. It is especially hard for me because we are both so young, I'm 19 and he is 20 (he had her when he was 18). I have actually never meet the little girl, because she is in a different country. But I feel horrible because he basically abandoned her and he is here spending all his money and time with me but he isn't a good dad to her and that makes me worry about how he will be with my kids
Girl, run and don’t look back. They only thing worse than dating a man with kids is dating a deadbeat dad. Trust me, he’ll show you his true colors if you give him long enough.
Runnnnnnnnnnnnn
Runnnnnnnnnnnnn
Now
Runnnnnnnnnnnn
So why are you with him? You woman always ignore the red flags it’s crazy
Put your trainers on and run! Don't look back
Watch Tony Gaskins on UA-cam plz
Wanted to thank you for this. The other videos on UA-cam regarding this seem to be anti-intellectual man talk.
But what if it's a baby
That’s even worse! If it’s a baby, why are they moving on so quickly after just having a child?
Already did it and idk what to do should I break up with him ???? 😭
me and you are in the same thing i am dating with a woman have four children and i dont have no kids but we love each other and she does everything we never fight or anything like that we been for year and half but i have not seen the kids yet , so i am not sure should i just let her go or not i fact she is really sweet with me and she support me with everything if i needed i am 30 and she is 36 i think everyday and its really hard to decide i really need some advices about it casue i cant stop thinking about it
@@khaledaltaiba1389 this comment being so long ago me thinking about it now it's clear to me that if you love something enough you will fight for it and you will never let it go nothing will get in between that Ive realize that and being a trans woman can't be that bad I mean I didn't imagine myself with children until like 45ish but yeah it is what it is I love him and I haven't got time to bond with his daughter yet I want to say our daughter but you know that whole stepmom thing it's so confusing I almost beat the s*** out of his baby momma and we fight all the time so we're totally not in the same boat but yeah like I said if you love something or not you better fight for it and don't let it go cuz you never know when's the next time you come across that kind of love
@@illmanili thank you so much for you advice it really helped me and your right if you love you will fight for it no matter what i have not been crossed a love like that all my past relationship is so bad, but thank you and hope you the best you and him
@@khaledaltaiba1389 thank you 💜 and good luck on your love journey too 💗
Please make more of this !
What if the child’s mom passed before the child turned 2 ? I felt so bad after hearing that his mom passed. Even though she was adding problems in personal relationship. I still felt bad for the infant. I wanted to help build and raise a family eevwn more
At least there’s no ex in the picture. I see it as a total win, you’re the mom now. Rip to the lady though
My boyfriend has a toddler (2 years old boy ) , and he’s doesn’t like me if I go visit them , what should I do ?
I don't know, and I have the books on it.
I hope you left
I love this as an introductory video
Best to advice not to date someone with children
thanks, this help me
I'm dating a man w adult kids 17-22 his ex-wife is constantly coming around what i should handle this situation?
Chenda William if I was in that situation I’d talk to the man. Because both the kids are of age and his ex wife has no reason to be coming around. That’s a problem in its self she obviously doesn’t know her boundaries and your man isn’t making her know her place.
Their nothing really much u can do she will be around alot because thats her kids too
Same here
Leave
Same here! What ended up happening
What if my boyfriend ex is visiting her adult kids every time I come over?
I’m dating a guy, I’m 23 and he’s 34. I’m feeling very insecure about it but also I’m so insanely drawn to him. I want to get over it but I’m struggling bc I don’t like being the second of everything. Marriage, baby, home ect. How do I get over this?
I’ve been there and I can give you some advice… do not deny your feelings. That inner voice making you feel insecure (I had the same thoughts)… you’re not insecure, it is an internal warning that the situation you’re in isn’t right for you. Please don’t ignore the feelings. I suffered silently and repressed so many feelings just to keep the peace and keep the guy. It wasn’t worth it in the end.
Currently dating a man with kids. I’d not be dating him if I was his number 1, that would be his kids. Same as it would be if it was our kids, kids always come first.
The children will always hate the new woman, no matter how hard she tries.
That’s why my first and only marriage ended. His children and their mother. I didn’t feel ok having children with him and I’m glad I didn’t. I would of been stuck a single mother.
It goes both way think about it🤔
Children come around eventually if you are nice to them....
@@kikikiki3216 no they absolutely do not. No stepchild in human history has ever loved a stepparent. They tolerate them at best.
Maybe I‘m one of the rare exceptions, but my husband’s two kids love me.🙈 They even told their biological mother that, because they felt bad for her and kind of apologized for their feelings. They even want to live with us, but the mother doesn‘t allow it (yet).
Be nice to the kids, be open-hearted and you at least have a chance of them liking you.
BUT I gotta say, I know a lot of relationships, where kids do not get along with the new partner and they make that very clear. If my parents would‘ve split when I was a kid, I would‘ve been just the same… I would‘ve made the life of my mom‘s or dad‘s new partner a living hell for sure.😅🤭
Maybe that‘s the difference with my husband’s kids. They saw, that mom and dad aren‘t getting along anymore and love how he and I are together.
Think about it, they say, they wouldn‘t want their parents to get back together, because it would mean, that they would lose me. They truly are special.
Word!
I will date caz I have kids too
I have a 2 year old....my wife was caught cheating and decided to live with her boyfriend leaving me with all 4 of our kids but want me to now be ok with the baby 2year spending the night with her and him and wants me to be ok with it she really doesnt see anything wrong with it theyve been seeing eachother and living together 6 months
Am i really wrong for opposing this how do i handle this mess
Your ex is a toxic pest...sorry to hear. Get full custody of your kids if you can and stick it to her..And Never take her back!!
How to Date Someone With Children
Step 1: Don't!
These comments are wild.
How to date a man with kids: don't
@@babyboy8597 um you know that they go back after having children most of the time lmao
@@Noah-rq3xt or they keep having sex secretly.
@@Noah-rq3xtI’ll never go back to the mother of my child even though she’s a good person
Don't
Why would I date somebody that has children you learn to love these children you will never have the right to discipline them you will never have a say in their life as mum will always stick up for these kids regardless how bad they treat you then you are obligated to put them through school pay for college by their first car pay for their wedding's etc for the child to turn around when he or she gets upset and say you're not my father. Or you build a magnificent bond with the child for the mother to turn around and leave you because you're not the biological father you were never see these kids again you shall lose their bond with the child and your new partner takes half your assets it is a big L for men.
It takes a real man to raise another man's kid.
Jesus Marmolejo your joking right?
@Lewis C.Sucker? What if the woman doesn't need you for your resources, have you thought about that?
@@jayvargas3611 I am not. It takes balls and plenty of other things to be able to with a woman with kids and raise them as your own if need be.
@@jeezustheone You own up, hold down a job, do everything right, and one fine day you find out the dude is coming over the apartment while you're at work or on business. It's stuff like that that can break that real man. You go on vacations w/ kids, you pay for everything, she ignores you the whole time focusing on kids, every time. You go w/o kids hoping to spend quality time, but kids are always on her mind, ex is calling, and all she wants is to return to them--every time. Odds are against you, every minute of every day, for the rest of your days together.
@@adamlapinski7590 every relationship in some ways are risky. I can only worry about what I am being if she wants to cheat then so be it. I also don't have the need to so needy.