If someone could just show me who the third party new supply it is just so I can compare them to my already extensive notes that we just tickle my Fancy I would leave here with nothing but my clothes on my back in a smile on my face just because you want to see crazy I got no books for what I've been going through for the past going on a yearMSI my check evidence was evidence no matter which question took it to and what state
Here is a list of what Abusers/Narcissists usually do to their targets : - Insults their target very often. Then lie when confronted about it, or say it was a joke. - When confronted with their behavior, they pretend to be innocent and play the victim. - Everything is always your fault, even when it's obviously not. - They always have a justification for every bad thing they do. They think they're always right. - Very controlling, they tell you how to live, but they can live anyway they want. Very hypocritical. - They accuse you of what they're doing to you (RED FLAG!), it's called Projection. - Portraying themselves as angels outside, when they are actually demons with their family and especially their target. - They want you to fail, while pretending to want you to succeed (they're very convincing). - They never say they are sorry for hurting you (RED FLAG!). - Poison your favorite activities, they don't want you to be happy or to get pleasure. They also poison other useful activities like important skills which will help you in the future. They DO NOT want you to have skills, they want you to be as weak as possible. They don't teach you anything. - Subtly lead a smear campaign against their target, so they isolate it and make sure they don't get help. - When you want to leave the relationship with a narcissist, they beg you to stay with them and cry crocodile tears. They are the best actors. - Sometimes nice, sometimes cruel. You never know where you stand with them. - They pretend to be "victims", and they blame the target for their own behavior. - They are incredibly arrogant and sadistic. They see the target as weak, and deserving to suffer. - They think they are models to be followed. - They are spiritually dead although they might loudly profess some kind of Spiritual Belief. Please share this message to other people and forums. We have to raise awareness!
I love how you say "if she seems better...its only because he hasn't ruined her yet". I was that girl, everything I did was "perfect" and now I'm old womanish (not really) but my awareness and maturity is 10x more developed than when I was "new girl". I no longer care to be perfect. In fact I never want to be held on that pedestal again because its silly and not real. I can't wait to be loved for the real me and not this idealized version that I was for 5 months before I was discarded the first time.
+Rosie 1414 My most recent N's ex gained a load of weight when she was with him. When they met she was athletic, after the breakup she was wearing spanx. Whats funny is I was very slim when I met him, and I also gained weight dating him. Same reason it turned out, we both drank to cope with the shitty feelings kicking around inside us, being consistently and covertly emotionally abused by an insidious twisted creature.
Incredible. My life to a T. 6 years we were together, I was a happy bubbly creative person and he sucked the life out of me to the point where my eyes lost their shine. He got satisfaction when I was down, critisised me for anything and everything, made me out to be a horrible person when I did everything for him. Sex....only on his terms, only to satisfy himself I never had much enjoyment because it was all about him. Thank Christ I'm out Oh and the new supply is half my age and has the same name as me!! Showering her with jewelry and holidays. I'm still angry but I hate him and I know he will never be happy.
same thing here 6 years together he never did anything for me, now is bending over backwards for the new younger girl, thing is she was a rebound and left after 3 months, he was still calling me through the whole relationship and whining about how badly she treated him, basically she wouldn't put up with his shit. I am no contact now.
Yep hes moving in with a 35yo and hes 63...obviously hes still lovebombing her and ensnared a younger victim. He was cheating on me while we were together...not sure if it was this supply or another but he posted on FB that hes in a new relationship a day before the discard while we were on vacation together. Good luck ...karma is a bitch girlfriend!
I feel that way too but it also hurts. I honestly wanted someone to please take him off my hands cuz I was DRAINED. But I'm jealous cuz his new supply is gorgeous. I hate this. I want to heal.
My narcissist broke me but helped me to realize how much my life has been drained by narcissist . I was able to break free from my narcissistic family and this is the happiest ive been . Now he has a new supply
Your videos have been helping me sooo much...Still trying to understand how someone could just drop a 12+ year marriage in 8 days and in 3 days following start a "in love" relationship! So thank you for putting these out there.
You said it all, thank you. I have been nc for two years today. Still have anger and sadness thinking about the new supply. Moving forward is so hard.He drained me mentally and physically. Im just doing day by day.
He’s been gone 8 weeks, cannot believe I spent 22 years with that evil man. I’m trying to push all the pain away, especially as I need to focus on the impact it has had on my children, who he can’t be bothered with. I do hope you find contentment and that we can learn to understand that they lost us, we never lost them 😔❤️
The worst part is to see him completely forget you like you never existed in his life.. I often feel sad when I think how expendable i was to him and how he could care so less of me after getting his new partner. Well your video is really helpful.
I struggle with that very much. We were still very intimate up until the last day, even after 10 years, and I miss that so much but the reality check .. that is all meant nothing to him, is devastating.
Letting go of the illusion is so painful. I wanted our life and family so bad, but none of it was real. I went back to him for a 4 weekend and became part of the delusion again. I had my home, my furniture, food in the cupboard, my love, my life back for a couple of days. I knew I had to leave again, I knew none of it was real and as I drove away from my beautiful home back to the shed I have moved to to try and escape I got an email from him. Not an email for me of course, an email to one of the many aliases I have set up to catch him at his repulsive cheating. I was gone for less than an hour and he was trying to set up sex with a stranger. To date I still haven't felt anger, still trying to climb my way out of the hurt. Thank you for your videos.
+April Sunn They try to build the illusion very quickly to get you entrapped early on I have noticed. They might rush into getting a pet together so you will feel more attached, and then if you try to leave they might say well you aren't taking the dog (who you love like a child at this point). I can only imagine how horrible it is to have actual children with them. The last one I tangled with tried to get me to move in with him INSTANTLY. Red flag!!! He talked about how hes always supported his women, and how he'd take care of me... fortunately I caught onto him early on and got out. If I hadn't, I would have ended up homeless eventually because he is also one to get you to cut ties with everyone else, then once you are privy to his game you have nowhere left to go.
I am watching from afar the new supply relationship and everything Angie is saying is true and on point. The pain helps me to move on and make it impossible to go back. I also wanted to see if he treated the new supply better and actually he is treating her worse faster. It is like watching a mini series of our relationship but a flop. I wouldn't put up with any of it. Wow!
+eastbaysf I went through the dilemma of "should I tell his new TI?" I even went to my pastor with this and he said "It won't work." So I just let it go.
+eastbaysf Its funny, I'm friends with my first Ns ex now, and shes actually pretty awesome. He'd have me believe she was a stupid, insane bitch. She is none of those things. Just traumatized by him.
Lorraine sometimes it's not because of jealous or something else. For example, I don't listen old supply and choose to not contact with narc and old supply it's because sometimes the old supply can triangulate me and narc again there's 2 possibilities: 1. Revenge for the hurt they once felt 2. Hidden agenda because the old supply has talk bad about me ( I never met her and know her before) her intentions is to revenge for the narc, bc narc has ruin her relationships ( her previous boyfriend) 3. Narc can use old supply for flying monkey, acting like she came with good intentions, trying to help me to make my relationship with narc going smooth again. They are crazy making !
This is so true! I once finally got my narcissist to leave and was doing great, but he and everything around him seemed to be doing great and I (pregnant at the time with his child) succumbed to believing that I was holding him down and that he had been right the whole time, etc, etc, etc. We got back together, got married and moved 3000 miles away from my support system which he had previously alienated anyway. Long story short, he was NOT better, I was NOT wrong. Now getting rid of him is going to be a hassle and an expensive one. (He's already put me in the hole big time.) Heed the words of this video. LEAVE and DON'T look back...at ANYTHING. The facade is a show...that's all. Thank You for the video.
'You choose to feel what you feel. In difficult times (life events) give yourself time to feel the feelings: 24-48 hrs and *then* let go. You cannot just let go, otherwise you will dissociate. You have to feel the feelings to heal.' I needed to hear this. Thank you.
Lessons can be hard . But we will all find real Love where two human beings come together and accept each other woth unconditional love and get to know each other at a appropriate pace ❤
I don't contact him whatsoever but I know I feel sorry for the next one he gets with ESPECIALLY if she's a 'good girl' like I am. People are pawns in a narc's life thats it especially someone close to them
My husband started having an affair 3 months before I had enough and wanted out.. he had me thinking I was crazy! He even had the kids thinking i was crazy!! I'm a very strong independent person 2 yrs older then him. He went for someone 16yrs younger totally opposite from me actually everything he said he disliked older men w younger women,smoker,heavy and from the other side of the tracks. It was like I didn't know him. I was willing to overlook all of this and believed for awhile it was all me..that's how he had me going until I seen and read about mental illness and narcissistic behavior..once I started educating myself I been feeling a bit better. I can now sleep and eat. I love him but, so glad to be in peace! I love watching your videos. Thank you so much!
I had to go to a party this weekend with the happy couple there. It was awkward and yes , she does look happy and well put together and normal, so does he. It eats me alive and then there are the inevitable facebbok pics of the party. I think sometimes she just wanted a younger, better looking guy and yes that hurts. And I still wonder if it was me making too much of things and she really isn't a narc. But she was abusive, and she did exhibit crazy making behavior and she faked seizures to get out of work so her parents support her and her daughter. There was also definintely love bombing and the future faking, the constant flirting, the death eyed cold shoulder, then the silent treatment ,ghosting which made me break up with her. Despite all these things that happened during our time together to look at her and hear her talk you would never know. I want nothing more to be right about her, but sometimes appearances make me doubt myself and I feel like the crazy one. I had to watch this again and I guess write this comment. It put things in perspective for me to do so. I can't avoid the painful feelings . I still need time and it hurts. But I can keep moving on after feeling them.
So if you think she wanted a younger version, could it be a younger version of YOU...you know, before she destroyed you and discarded you? Caught my husband on a website. When my friends saw the description of the type of woman he was looking for they said to me, "he just described you!" I replied, "yeah, me before I allowed him to destroy me".
john garcia you Sir just described my relationship for the past few weeks, every detail it's truly soul destroying to watch a person you love act this way😣 but what I learned it doesn't matter who it is they just keep moving from person to person so at least we can take away it isn't us personally as people. I hear you brother just pick yourself up that's why we fall to get up again🖒🖒🖒🖒
bmb6 Sorry you had to deal with that. I'm the same way. the narc I deal with goes to school with me. And he acts so nice and kind to everyone in class so nobody believes me if I mention his evil nasty behavior. (I only did this with trusted people the list is smaller now) I thought maybe I misunderstood him maybe I was being overly dramatic but then ALL of what I went through was confirmed by a previous victim who also dealt with him and so I knew I wasn't crazy. Furthermore now people are wising up to his less than perfect behavior especially since now him being 32 is dating an 18yr old girl and he also tried to screw her sister who is only a year older. He's seriously gross. but I hope your doing better now.
Kry Kry I never asked but I'm smart enough to know he was implying it. He passed by my classroom hand in hand four times with this chic who actually looks similiar to me. but I realized I lack nothing and he is only using her to boost his ego.Simply put the only thing I do not have is him and that is what she has. quite, frankly good riddance.
Wow all this really puts everything into perspective. Thanks so much. I will listen to this over and over until it sinks in Angie your the best and your voice is also very soothing.
Tell the new girlfriend/boyfriend anyway. They won't believe you but in a few months, their eyes will start to see and they may make the connections sooner.
+mikel1998 So true, it's the first crack in the armour. At first they will think that you're crazy and jealous- jealous part may be true if you're just broken up- but like a good thriller movie they will begin to see that things aren't quite what they seem with their perfect new soul mate. Something will happen and they will remember that things you said, that's when they will get the "twist in the end" moment when they see the true antagonist of their love story. That's what happened to me and my HPD ex-girlfriend. You could save that person a few months or years of abuse.
+mikel1998 The last N I dated was terrified of me and his ex talking. "I dunno she might say I cheated on her or something which she'd be lying but..." Riiiiiiiight.
Sometimes they act like they have nothing to hide when they have everything to hide. I can see my ex allowing me to talk to his ex and then just cover up everything she says with a lie.
mikel1998 initially it seems like the ex is crazy, it's only when you start to see the NPDs mask slip that you realize that the crazy rantings of the ex could actually be the truth. It makes it harder to ignore the mask slipping events, or just justify them as one off incidents.
This video was very helpful and validating. I've just recently joined the fb group and just hearing that this type of thing happens to other people makes me feel less crazy. He would always "get better" when we were separated which would make me think it was me and we'd get back together. This part you described in the video is actually the reason I'm nervous about calling it quits again. But hearing this is so eye opening. Thank you for doing what you do. 🙂💗
after two years of braking up. i dated 3 people...and moved to Florida from New jersey 6 months ago... I am more stable than ever than the 2 years we were together...she sees i am happy so started to look at my instagram and that brought back so many memories... once she notice i was ignoring her.. he sister uploaded a picture of her and her new supply... i got real upset and closed my instagram account a month ago... after that i feel better... and started checking videos on friday about Narcs behaviors .. this is all very helpful ... Gracias
I think with some of them it's more than just getting bored and moving on. In my experience the narc set up subtle scenarios just weeks before the mask slipped while my guard was completely down. Then when she flipped the evil switch on me, she used memories of those events to trigger insecurities. She also started triggering my temper in front of friends and family to make me appear unreasonable. Part of what lowers your self esteem and makes you start worrying is the sudden ghosting, but it's also the cold behavior. I sense that she was getting off over the fact that she had tricked into being right where she wanted me and now she could torture me and there was nothing I could do. She was trying to demonstrate to me that I was weak, and tried to destroy the pride I had about doing the right things and meaning what I say. She wanted to humiliate me. She totally planned this crazy stuff out in advance. I was her project. There's no other explanation. She did cause me to stumble at first, but once I caught my balance, I told her not to contact me in any way. She reminded me of that salt sucker in the original Star Trek series, with the suction cup fingers, that could take on the form of anyone she wanted so that you would trust her.
I noticed his original smile was back I knew it was because of someone else I am so happy the new supply is here to give me a reason even more so to move on They deserve one another She will soon see the truth Since she’s younger she may deal with and she will have more fun I don’t do drama She does I know what ur saying is right I know what they are say about me I don’t care Lovin my me back❤️💞💞💞
I let someone into my life for only seven months, the turmoil that was created for myself who had a strong and secure state if mind was never like anything I'd gone through in my life, knowing what she had done, how I was played and manipulated and gaslight for the best part of two months while she was devaluing me is one thing, recovery from such trauma is another, thank you for this video focusing on the self well being, making the mind realise what happened is not our own doing, and how to best deal with potential situations and avoid negative thinking, very fresh Point of view seeing this, thank you!
This is amazing! Really really helped. Been on/off with my narcissist for 8 year. He got a new supply but kept her secret for nearly a year. Then got her pregnant, ringing me when they had lost it to console him 🙄 This really helps me reprogram my brain & how I feel about myself. He’s a poison xx Thank you for posting xx
I didn't want to believe he was a narcissist. Because after being on and off, sucked back in by him repeatedly, I never wanted to acknowledge that I've willingly allowed him to treat me how he did. He's got a new supply after me giving 6 years and two kids. He's had women all along but I thought I could change him. This video is a God send.
I do wish I would have told the police the truth when he hit me with his car whilst drunk. I wish I would have followed through when he pulled a gun on me. I wish I would have called the police when he tried to kill me by pushing me out the window and beating me black blue and bloody♥
I'm glad I liked this video because it is definitely coming in handy this week. Last week I got a longgg e-mail from my ex narc that said but wasn't limited to him wanting to marry me " I'm the love of his life" , how I deserve the world, he wants to make it work, he will change...you name it he said it. This previous Saturday I found out he's had a new supply for over a month and she's already leaving stuff at his house (sounds like a relationship to me). Either he's rushing her into intimacy or he's been seeing her a lot longer than a month or possibly both. My mind was blown! Wow he tried to make me feel bad for him! This whole time he's been sending me gifts and letters and roses while dating a new girl. I'm disgusted with him. I'm sure that's what happened to me when I was the "new girlfriend" many years ago!
Was married for over 20 years.Ex remarried within a year,seems to be very happy and enjoying full social life with some of our old friends who welcomed new woman warmly while for the most part dumping me altogether. It's now been 9 years. I do not speak to either of them and we just meet when necessary at family occasions that are unavoidable ( our children's weddings and parties for newborn grandchildren). He insisted on dragging her to teenage kids' school events which I found really objectionable but he would not stop. Now all grown up. It irks me that my kids also have some of his traits of coldness, aloofness, ignoring me as a person, as if i am a piece of furniture. I have never spoken to her and do not follow up on what they do, but as stated, they do appear very happy together and he seems to be treating her the way he should have treated ME as his wife, while I have remained alone and have not had any relationships except one , another narcisist even more full blown than ex husband.Took me awhile to figure him out but finished with him and still feel terrible that I was sucked in . Too bad i did not know back then about all this stuff!
I totally get why you feel the way you do - just remember that the way he treats her in "public" is always going to be different than in private. Hugs and love ♡
+ANHPAM He will end up treating her the same way, I'm certain. And sorry to hear about the children... as they grow older though, they will probably shed those ways and see what an ass he is, and see you for the loving mother you are.
This is my current situaton. I decided to listen to narc videos again because he is with someone new. I don't want him but have a 1 year old with him and he refuses to let me go no contact (he always uses the baby to send text, etc) although I felt nothing seeing the pic of them my mind is running and I'm sad. and worse I feel even more hurt that he will never feel Karma or party for his ways. I can't get over the fact that they will live a life they choose and never pay for their evil ways. I need to let go of the hate I have for him.
+john garcia yes, they are some kind of evil. The Devil here on earth. It's so crazy to believe a human being can live without empathy or concern for others that no one understands unless they have been there. You know a person hasn't death with a narc when they say something ignorant like, "get over it". I just wish he would go away and leave me alone. I'm trying to get away, lol
Thank you for the information! I'll look into it. The more I try no contact the more he gets upset and threatens to take baby from me. I'm no longer scared because I'm a great mom. i won't allow him to control me with threats. Thanks for the info again. since I posted the original text about being sad i am no longer sad! yay! I'm getting a lot stronger.
Nidza.. in any way shape or form do not feel sad, hurt, over your baby dad..or even his New Supply.. His New Supply has no idea what she in for??😉.. I'm sure he painted a pretty good picture of you as a horrible mother.. which we all know your NOT!!!😙.. SO!! from the outside world he making everything LOOK🤓 happy!!!.. behind closed doors just remember how he treated YOU!!..😠 leopards don't change their spots!!.. Even with the NEW Supply's.. She probably thinks she can fix him or she's imagining this is not really happening to her... and she's probably in the confused stage right now.. However, what I would do is go no contact!! especially with your cell phone.. when he has the baby for his visitation time get a little backpack and put a notebook inside it.. any communication that needs to be done between you and him in regards to the baby needs to be written out in baby's Notebook.. When it's time for you tonpivk baby UP or when he brings baby back to YOU!! do it in a way that you guys don't have to see each other.. have a good friend or a family member..have them do the exchange for YOU.. that way you don't have to see him or talk to him.. that's what I did with my ex-husband. when it came to our son.. he was 6 month's old.. back in the day.. when we were going through a divorce.. This was how judge set it up to do our exchanges.. because, we could not get along at all.. This was before I even knew what a narcissist was all about!! . Until I experienced it with a recent ex-boyfriend that I finally ended it in August of this year.. he was the narc.. and the hell!! shit that I went through for 18 months with him.. he's a dirty old sick bastard and now I'm glad I'm away from him.. meaning my ex-boyfriend so now that I've experienced this looking back my ex-husband definitely was a narcissist.. getting back to my Ex Narc BOYFRIEND!! He now has a NEW Supply he did the triangle with us.. when I finally caught him.. with her and I immediately ended it with him.. he then tried to flaunt her in my face many times over.. when I would see him in a public place or if I was at restaurant sitting outside here in our town.. he WOULD drive by 6 or 7 times with her in the truck REALLY!! that doesn't say too much for her now does it?? cuz when they would see me I could see him point to me and she turned her head like she was The Exorcist just couldn't wait to see what I look like... I guess he WAS hoping that it was going to make me jealous?? and I WOULD come running back to him!! ya right??.. it did the total opposite I'm the one that went running away far away from them.. it backfired in his face.. my understanding he was hoping to see a reaction from me they can't handle it when you ignore him and that's exactly what I did to a point where I had to get a restraining order against him and her.. only went to court on restraining order that's when I really got a good look at her oh my God he's trying to make me jealous with that!!! she's fat, ugly!! stupid!!! obviously.. he did the smear campaign by portraying me as I'm the sick wacko jealous ex-girlfriend.. Not that I'm trying to rock my own boat here... I'm attractive, have lost alot of weight.. so I'm definitely more slender than I was when I was with him...now I can wear the tiny clothes, and I'm well endowed on top.. that makes him jealous that I lost all the weight.. didnt lose it on top!! I've heard that through the grapevine he jealous that I lost the weight and I've moved on with my life !!! SO, trust me honey there's Karma!! We may not get it see it!! now that I'm looking back at my ex-husband he got his Karma!! he's lost everything his business his home..SO see there is karma!!! Oh and one other thing your Ex Narc baby's daddy he can't take the child away from YOU.. SO. don't even let him try to threaten you at all...that the control talking.. he wants to regain the control back.. stay strong for you and baby!! my EX-husband tried to threaten me and control me by stating that he was going to take my son away from me!! It backfired in his face.. I am a good mom!! and he was the drunk and the drug addict...I proved that in court back 1997.. and with these type of narcissist men they can't stand losing and also can't stand is when you moved on with your life made a good life for yourself and for your baby!! that will drive them crazy!!!😆 that's the karma they will GET!!😂 Lol!!!
This was so helpful! I did something that sounds dumb after 6 months of no contact, but I did it for a reason. I hooked up with my ex fiancee narc while getting some things from her apartment before moving out of state. I wanted to stop romanticizing what we had before, and seeing what a mess she is now (alcohol, smoking, and never eating) actually did help. What was devastating was seeing what she had written about sex with this new girl and how it was the best ever, when apparently she is using the exact same lines she used on me during sex!! Anyway, she said she'd tell this girl she's seeing that we hooked up, but of course I'm sure she didn't. I was strongly considering telling the new supply that her girlfriend hooked up with her ex fiancee last weekend, but I couldn't decide. I guess after watching this I'll just try harder to let it go.
My ex Narc just remarried. 6 months after I found out about her, 1 month after our divorce was final. To add insult to injure, he got married on the day of my sons 6 year old birthday and didn't even call him to wish him happy birthday. He hasn't spoken to him in several months. I do feel sorry for his wife. They've known each other for less than 1 year and he's managed to convince her to marry him in this short span of time. She has no idea who he is
My favorite part about my experience was him posting to Facebook saying we both had "agreed" we were no longer good for each other....lol no dude. We were married a year before you cheated on me with my friend...and then....i was the bad guy. Ahahaha everything will come full circle. Eventually he will realize she's human and not perfect and the same story will play over and over.
I wanted and prayed daily that he would find someone else..and..still have hope for him..that he does..I wouldn't care if I seen him at the store with someone else..I'm out..don't care what he did or does anymore...the same week..I moved out..he had his mother and his " friend" move in..so..he has someone else to pay his 500 dollar water bill..and..350 dollar electric bill..he has 47 tanks of fish..and blamed me for not being able to pay those bills..now he can blame them..he had no financial responsibility..he was also very childlike..playing video games from the time he woke up till the time I got home from work..on his day off...I literally sooo much happier now...I am glad I got to meet him..so..I know what to look for next time..
I think maybe with a friend you have more wiggle room. I can't warn a new "supply" that she's playing with fire because me being an ex, will just come off "jealous" when in reality, I would never want my ex again. He's a fucking nutcase as far as I'm concerned, and I do genuinely feel bad for the new women who may enter his life who have no clue how ill he is.
+Lux Chevis that's because you are empathetic and you sound very healthy. It is playing with fire to get involved with a narcs new relationship . Chances are she won't believe you and you will look like sour grapes . My friend knows she is playing with fire but is intoxicated by the sex. I will be there to pick up the pieces when he crushes her soul .
OMG!! I couldn't agree more..don't get involved with the new Supply!! I've got a restraining order against my NARC!!! because he's been stalking me!! After I finally ended it.. he has drove by a restaurant that he knows.. I frequently visit with her in the truck 4 times!!!what does that say ABOUT!! New supply!! when I had to go to court in regards the restraining order to get it extended for a year!! New supply was there in court.. And oh my God when I saw what she looked like You Can Tell She's got issues!! either with alcohol or drugs or both.. she's in her forties but she looks like she's in her late sixties!! ugly and fat!! what does that tell you who he has chosen for his new Supply!! As for me on 61 everyone has told me I look like I'm in my forties!! nice compliments.. I'm attractive and slender.. he tries to make me jealous with her.. REALLY!!! he doesn't realize I laugh at him. she gave me a half a smile in the courtroom when it was over... YES!!! she got an earful of how he been stalking me when she's at work... I wasn't out of the house 2 weeks when he moved here in obviously he was seeing her behind my back... amongst all the other ones that I caught him with and finally ended it had enough 18 months of his b******* lies and cheating empty promises words didn't match.. even though we bought me an engagement ring he took it back that's fine I want no memories!! a week ago today.. New supply she's moved out of his house.. I heard from his neighbor across the street.. her and I are still friends.. but, I guess somehow he must have sucked her back.. she was gone 4 days and now she's back in again..they left today on the jet ski he drove through town and past my house with her in the truck and the Jets..i was sitting in side yard with my dogs when all sudden he driving by.. obviously hoping that I would see him!! I guess he keeps thinking it's going to make me jealous!! that's okay just enough building more of case to get him arrested violating restraining order and harassing me and stalking!!. not that I'm trying to knock this girl can tell this girl by the way she dresses where she lived is trailer park trash!!! Yes, he has a beautiful home!! an exclusive rich neighborhood.. he acts like he has money!!! but, he doesn't!!! that i know for fact!! what he's got in his bank accounts...so she's going to try to hang on to him... I'm sure she doing the chasing!! I'm sure was giving her silent treatment!! interim I saw him with another woman when she broke up and moved out for those few days... oh well it's deja vu of what I went through in the 18 months we were together he's pulling the same crap on her as he did with me every time I moved out when I caught him!!! good for them!! Life Goes On!!! Please do go no contact!! I'm to the point of possibly moving from Nevada.. to get away from him totally.. point of the story don't confront the new Supply.. far as I'm concerned she's probably in it for the money he's is seventy-seven years old she's in her forties what does that tell you... he's a great lair, manipulating piece of s***.. she wants to try to see if she can get money out of him!! it ain't going to happen and I know that for a fact so too bad for her she can be on the roller coaster ride.. I got off!!! stay away from them they are sick evil can't call him human beings their creatures!!!
Jo Ann Bridgford My love, let us be grateful the narc didn't take anymore time than they already have, and let us be thankful to the new supply as well because they take some of the heat off of us when we need to focus on ourselves the most. I just figure, my narc has spun some crazy story about me, how everything was "my fault" and she isn't the wiser. She doesn't know me and has no connection to anyone who does know me to see anything any other way. The thing is that new person is probably falling for the story just as we had. But, you're right. It's not worth it. I just wish I could, the key word being *wish* I could save her because she has no clue what she's dealing with. One day she might, and if she ends up in the same pain as me I only hope she has enough strength to crawl out of the hole he'll dig for her.
I thank the grace of god for people like yourself, giving such an insight into what we go through, I've been holding on for a couple of years now, and just to have someone reiterate what I have been feeling and experiencing is golden. I thank you for sharing this information which I believe is pivotal in the process of healing xxx
wow I am in the midst of healing and I've known that my Narc was a Narc. since last fall but finally took responsibility for the role I played in attracting him. I decided that Melanie Tonia Evans narp program was a good choice for me but I ended up after a month of no contact talking to him again because a friend called and so did he and appeared suicidal due to the separation. He even admitted to the awful behavior. So I started the relationship up again as friends which we were at the time we stopped talking too. Anyway he tells me he was seeing two women while I was gone that he was looking at as potential long termers. But he actually admitted to me he didn't have the energy to pursue them in the way he wanted to because he was too depressed over losing me. As soon as I resumed the relationship. again out of feeling bad for him, he picked the girl he wanted and lo and behold ...she is even more hooked in than me. It's literally like watching my life three years ago. So even though I did a backslide. ...I did ultimately end it again. this time for good. I really want to warn her because she is so sweet and has a beautiful daughter. but he already told her im jealous and crazy. I wish I could because my kids were affected horribly. All the while he told me what a horrible mom I was.
I went thru a very brief relationship with a Narc woman, she love bombed, put me on the pedastel, then devalued, then discarded. Textbook. Lied with no conscience, did the whole public smear campaign, everything. Even tried to keep me hanging while she was pursuing other supply sources. ( did not happen I broke it off, luckily I am the type to ask questions and kind of know when someone is lying. Luckily it was only 3 months, but I luckily asked questions when things didn't add up: three marriages to men she said she never loved, it was all thier fault, four kids from said marriages, lies about sexual past, lied about her therapy, lied about her past..IM just glad I ask questions. She ended up in a relationship immediately afetrwards..and was engaged within a month of that..now married I hear. I know the 'shell" I "loved" was all fake, I watched that whole process during that 3 months period. What broke the shell was when I caught her in the first lie, it began to break down, and that subtle monster of emotional abuse came out, albeit slowly. I wish I could relate the story fully. Some narc women will p[urposefully pick someone whom they know they will discard later, they know it, but it can be used as part of an agenda to make themselves look like victims, all the while keeping other potential supply interests within ear shot to hear about how bad they are being treated, when in fact they are purposefully manipulating the current victim. I also realized this was not my first relationship with a Narc woman. Yep, it makes me second guess everything, myself, my ability to have a good love realtionship, BUt in the long run, women like this end up bitter and empty, and when they face that inevitable end..to be honest..I pity people like that.
Yes, I told my narc that I was going to crush him. I sent all his texts he had been sending me to his new supply. Even the one where he was telling me how good in bed I was ( proof he had cheated on her). I did that out of revenge BTW, thinking shed wise up and dump his lying cheating ass. But it did no good. She said she was happy to share him and nothing anyone can say will make her not love him! I find it hard to feel sorry for her! He texted me on Jan.1 to wish me a happy new year. I told him I couldn't return the sentiment and " go eat shit, the both of you' and he couldn't figure out " why all the hate? I want you in my life and can't we be just friends"? I got a new phone so he doesn't have my number now. I'm always scared I'll run into him somrwhere
Currently going through the aftermath of a narcissist break up. The way you describe everything in this video is exactly what I'm going through. I have not yet seen her with anybody new, however we go to the same gym and I know eventually she'll be working out with someone new like she did with me in the beginning. I do miss her terribly. It's all so messed up! And very difficult for me to let go. I have been no contact, aside from still being Facebook and Instagram friends. Which I'm sure is a no-no. But like you said, I have to keep reminding myself of the torment I went through while we were together. And how she will never change. Thank you for letting me know that I should not warn any new person I might see her with. Because that is something that was on my mind. Love your videos, keep up the great work!
Change you gym location, block her on every social network site, no contact means exactly that, unless you have kids together just get rid of her from your life totally....sounds like you're still hanging in there with some sort of hope, you're better then that, get away from her and get on with you life, there are brighter days ahead....
my ex discarded me when I was going through a difficult time in my life although I stuck by him for years while went through a big life changing event and suffered deep depression. After he discarded me he told me how special his new supply made him feel and she gave him a lot of attention. I thought wth??? I have you a roof over your head when you didn't have a home, I worked while you stayed in bed all day with depression ,bailed you out of jail bought you new clothes and so on.... wow, this vidw/o from Angie was so helpful as I have been questioning what I've done wrong and thinking his new supply must be pretty special... but In the beginning I too was "Special." Thank you, Angie from the bottom of my heart.
my ex girlfriend was a narcissist i dumped her weeks ago then she found a new supply i been acting like i m ok but im not the problem i have to see them everyday with there new supply and the new supply is my friend it sucks that this happend but I'm trying to recover Im taking it one step at a time i hope my mind will be at ease soon I'm on day 11 of no contact so wish me luck on my road to recovery
So true. Even family member narcs to this.. so happy they have a new friend/neighbor to abuse(use).Or your boss has a new receptionist to abuse (use). Its so pathetic.
+eastbaysf Oh yes, and they will find their hero du jour, and compare you. "So and so has two cars, lots of property, blahblah [implication that you are a loser in contrast to them]." Had a family member pull this one on me constantly. The last girl I was compared to got all her money, property, and vehicles because of a divorce. She was a receptionist... but its like whatevers handy.
My Ex Narc was brutal. 2 years or Verbal, Mentally and Physical abuse . I am out of that relationship no more supply from me. I got tired of serving her, She treated me like a slave I was so blind. Used me for Financial gain. Bad Credit score. Embarrassed(belittled) me infront of her family. Devour my character. She constantly talk about her Ex. says why out all my ex you talk about her. These little mind games. She is my ex I am sadden that I was played like an instrument. She always said You want to see me die and fail. She's always says she will win. watch me win. To my ex Narc I have won. left with my faith and my good heart. You didn't break me. Material things you keeping from me are just that. unfortunately you won't win in my eyes. you will always be a narristic con-artist.
ok, i've started to watch your videos about a month ago, when i left my narcissist, i was broken down to pieces but knew something was wrong with this man *besides the fact he's 50 and i'm 24, guess that was a red flag, anyway*, you have really helped me, i was feeling awesome, me again, knowing i could do so much better, honestly i felt stronger, til yesterday, i found out that he's dating a woman he met when we were together, she's 40, divorced, has a child, has all the things he always told me he hated (older women, not fit, and kids) i now feel replaceable, here i am mourning something someone that never existed, and there he is, feeling happy, i'm angry, how come he could find someone, i bet he's telling himself that he won cause i'm alone and he's not. aaaashhhh! and the worst of all ... i broke no contact, and ask for some of my stuff i left in his appartment, his answer was like nothing happened, i dont know why but it broke my heart, i know I AM BETTER and waaaay HAPPIER without that selfish liar, but i dont want to be angry anymore, but when i let go that anger i'm just sad looking at pictures, i seem so happy back then. ps.thanks for your videos, the have really help me...
Thank you for being a blessing. I have just realized and accepted I was with a narcissist. He is also my son's father. He moved around the corner from my house with a new woman. I am still in shock.
Hello, I went through a narcissist relationship and I’d like to share, it does also affects in gay peoples relations, I am a gay man. I do not know if other gay or lesbians had this issue. I left my narc boyfriend, more than 4 month ago. At the beginning when I left him, I felt relieved, later emotions began to take over me, questions about what had happen, etc. At first I could not understand what had happen. Bit by bit I could regain conscious, strength, and will to go on after discovering all these vids of therapy about narcs which had been AWESOME for me. I am still healing is not easy, day by day I feel better. All the vids I have watched describe my ex narc like a ring to the finger, sometimes I would have a blast because I would say to myself, ¨hey, that happened to me… yeah, he would do n say those things to me too¨… LOL!!!! I am healing slowly, my most difficult parts are, which I am gradually letting go of, is the anger and also I am in the process of forgiving him, his alcoholism behavior he hid from me; not to mention, the endless promises that were never coming, he told me, oh, and it was a triangular relationship, which at the beginning I was unaware of. This last one was the ¨cherry on the top¨. And he never apologize for ANYTHING, this is what gets me the most. I am better now, I get better at it every day. I am a man who is confidant, fill with joy n love in my heart. Despite his insults and screaming, I always knew the problem was him, I even invite him to go to therapy once, yes, bad idea to tell him such thing, u can imagine what he told me n how he told me. I never hated him. It was a total surprise for me the fact that he in reality is this way; thus, I never imagined there were people like this. I do feel compassion, I feel sorry for him. Today my eyes had been open thanks to these videos about narcissist people, understanding him, is understanding more of myself as well and the energy that brought us together in the first place. I never regret having him in my life, despite the after effects. If I wouldn’t had been out there living or trying to live a life with him, well, one never lives if one never tries n goes out into the world, is just a little simple try, in my opinion. I feel proud of myself for I left to him with my heart on my hands, seeking for a better life and I finally left him as a result of his behavior towards me. Yes it turned out this way, but I am happy that I did tried. I do not wish to carry this anger so it would rotten in me and I’d become bitter, NO, I do understand all of this bit by bit ¨baby steps¨. With these vids, the conclusion of and about him were a calculus dive brought from heaven, the process of solving a problem. These vids are a great relief.
Thanks for the great content! This is helping me understand my recent break from a narc and clearing up a lot of my uncomfortable and confusing emotions. By the way, I think the quote about holding onto anger goes: "Holding onto Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." Its attributed to Buddha :). Keep it up!
Thanks! I've not seen him in 8 months. I've seen pictures of his ex GFs and I'm the prettiest one he's ever had. he's 62 and I'm 54 and I look much younger. He had open heart a year ago march. of course I was there for 10 days babing him and being very loving, he wasn't out of the hospital yet and raged at me. i left him there and flew home. Told his brother what he did and can drive him home. 6 weeks he was begging me back. we even went to counseling, but he refused to go more than 3 times. lol Totally typical. I finally had enough. that was last September. I doubt he'll ever find another me. we were perfect together 90% but he was awful the other 10%. I told him he was an angry ugly old man. He's a creature of habit, so I don't go where he'd be at any given time. we were only together for 22 months. I gave myself a good year to heal. I'm glad I did that cause otherwise I might have went back to him. these utubes have been a big help. ♡ ♡ ♡
He definitely will not find another you and he deserves to be alone. Stay strong! I'm proud of you for going when you did - it's so hard sometimes but you did the right thing! don't forget that. Hugs and love ♡
+Kelly Weiss They will try to make us feel like we are the ones who will lose when we leave them, they will prey on our insecurities. The thing of it is though, as the narcissist gets older supply is harder and harder to come by, they inevitably end up extremely alone and depressed, perhaps suicidal. We however, move on to find real love. We set ourselves free from the N, the N just keeps playing a game of musical chairs until the music runs out for them someday inevitably. Hes already 62, what new piece of ass supply is he going to find in ten years? A normal feeling person can find love at any age, sure, but the N can't find what *they* are looking for as time goes on. It might be a little mean of me but I do take solace in this after what they have done to me.
MYy ex-narc is now with one of my coworkers. she got with him while we were still together and right after we broke up she moved in with him. what makes the whole situation worse is that he is also roommates with two other people I work with, one of which is my boss. Almost immediately after she moved in with them they all turned on me. Now going to work I feel like i am being bullied by her all over again, and she is not even there. I have heard ( not because i wanted to, its just kinda a small workplace) that she is starting the same cycle over again with him. I want to warn him before he does something stupid like get her pregnant. i know that he won't listen to me. I wish i could move on, i really do. It is just so hard when it is in your face day in and day out. I was talking with someone the other day that my ex and I used to know, and she brought up a subject that I had only ever told to my ex. It is a very hard subject for me to deal with and not something that I would like everyone to know about. Now everyone in my very small community knows. I feel like she want me to be completely alone. She has made it very hard for me to meet new people because I don't know what of my dirty laundry that I had trusted her with she has spread around. I am almost afraid to talk to people now. It seem like everyone is taking her side and I am the only one that has ever seen behind the mask.
after being wirh a narc for so long.. i realize that they liken me in the same way i liked my new bike i had as a kid. i liked how it rode nice, it was the coolest looking on the block, and got me all the attention from the cool kids.. but although i liked it, i left it outside in the rain, to rust, and forgot all about it, especially when i saw my friends cool newer bike! and when it got old, it didnt ride as nice, so i gave it away.. but wheni saw my friend riding it around all fixed up, i wanted it bad. but i actually never cared about it, lol i mean after all it was just an object! and theres always a newer better model out there.
A few times I ran into my ex with new supplies. She always would immediately hold hands with him or once kiss him to make sure I know. So in each instance I reacted: I approached, introduced myself, told him "You really for lucky, she's a great woman, unfortunately, I messed up." Oh you would see her smirking, she just got a lot of supply, and him being confused, because she's of course been smear campaigning. In each instance she'd reach out right after, asking what that was about, if I really felt like she was a great women and that I messed up with her and so on. Funny. So that's all the validation I needed to know it's just a source of supply and not love.
KF5OBS, oh wow the look on her face though must have been priceless though after you said that. You gotta feel bad for that guy though as he doesn't have a clue (probably yet) what he is dealing with. I hope you are doing well. Hugs.
Y live with this woman 9 years ygive her every thing 3 months later yfine out she was seeing 2 other guys she moved Whit aut saind anything left me in the cold took my money Ben ,,3 months no contact
Narcissist Free -almost yes. This was most helpful in this exact moment in my life. I feel like Angie knows exactly what I'm going thru lol. And she does! So glad I researched how the ex was acting and up popped narcissistic abuse an I went to you tube n typed In that n found these videos by Angie. I feel like the Universe is really looking out for my well being. Yay
The one I recently left was trying to hold another girl on the side while begging me to get back with him. He actually said, what's it gonna take to break you and make you be with me? He was trying to manipulate me and hurt me so I'd go back to him. That can't be love. He told me he was happy to hurt me because I was such a horrible person and abused him for years. He deflected everything onto me.
Thanks for this amazing video. I broke up with my narcissistic ex a year ago after almost 3 years of being together. He always blamed me for everything and lied to me, and even used to shout at me in public. I recently came to know he's dating another girl. My ex is a classmate and the new girl is a college junior. There's no way I can avoid seeing them. It breaks me to see how happy he is. It's been a year since I broke up and I'm still not completely over him.
you know - my narc got remarried & because of finances we had to live upstairs downstairs in the same house! for 4 years. I now have the home 100% & am trying to get a grip on the finances. Anyways, i realized that I was the best he will ever have- . All his mean nasty ways have definitely caught up with him. I remember when we first parted, I thought I would die! I didn't. I took antidepressants, got back to school, & to the gym. I think now that he is out of the home & gone from my kids life I am in phase 2 of rebuilding.
That is amazing and I am thrilled that you're rebuilding and that he's finally out of there - I don't know how you made it through all of that but I'll tell you what - I really, really appreciate that you shared this here. If you can get through that awful experience, it has to offer hope to so many other survivors! Hugs and love to yo, my friend!
Angie Atkinson well I had God, a few BFF's, my mom( who lives with me) , & my 5 kids!! I did not realize he was like narcissistic/ psychotic until 2 years ago when I started researching it online. yep. I want to say though, Thank You sooooo much for your work making all these vids! They are very helpful to many. 🌹
my narcissist is persuing a new supply and im not even moved out yet...it is so painful to be going through a breakup and having him noy even seeming to care and he cant wait to replace me. i really want to warn this poor girl but if he talked about me to her like he did about his ex to me i dont know that she would even listen. i dont know how to deal with knowing that hes going behind my back and feeling so terrible and worthless
This has been crushing for me! Knew him for 50 years. Since we were 16, married 46 years. Now I’m seeing him all over FB because SHE has 16 of my mutual friends. I blocked him a long time ago but now I blocked her. But I saw what I saw and I am crushed!
Tks Angie! I am 100% cured. I didn't care when my child said: " Dad is committing adultery " I had to explain to him that mum Divorced him and he can do whatever he wants. Since my son is 19 I further told him :" He was abusive and dislawy through the marriage!" I am happy and will not be anyone's door Matt ever again!
Thank you for sharing this !!! I finally broke free after an off and on relationship with my ex ! I definitely am done ✅ blocked & deleted & moving forward!!!! Lesson learned !!!
I saw two Narcissistic Ex Partners of mine today. Whatever was going on in my head I didn't show it outwardly. One I saw at a distance and didn't approach. The other knew I was there, and didn't approach me or I approached him. I kept my head held up high and behaved with dignity. That matters the most. I'll sort the jumbled mess of things in my head on my own. 🍒
I am so THANKFUL that I LEFT THE NARCISSIST THAT I WAS WITH!!! I LEFT WHEN I SAW A TEXT MESSAGE ON HIS PHONE FROM HIS NEW SUPPLY!!! I AM HAPPIER DUE TO I HAVE MOVED ON, 6 MONTHS GONE, HAVE A NEW FRIEND WHO IS NOT A NARCISSIST, A NORMAL PERSON WHO TREATS ME SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE NARCISSIST EVER DID...
My NARC was making out with his "down grade" in his car at his job. Then said it was because he was not taking his meds for his head injury. It went on for 6mos or more he "can't remember" lol
my ex was a narcissist I'm 6 months pregnant with his child and he left me a week after jail to be with my best friend of 10 years. I have a hard time letting go and moving on. I'm just glad he isn't abusing me and hitting me while pregnant anymore. it's just unfortunate that my son won't have a father :(
Hi. Your videos are helpful. I was married to a man who love bombed me well over a decade and some years ago. Somehow I became his slave. He screamed, was irrational and abusive mentally and emotionally, occasionally physically. He made us move out of our home and down to Orange County, then he rented it out. He went and stayed with his ex-wife because he said she was behaving crazy and the kids were scared. He then brainwashed me into thinking we had to get divorced for business reasons. Basically, he had opened up some businesses doing what they were doing at his job. He then made me the presidents of the companies. I didn't get any ownership or shares. Nobody in their right mind would do this but I really believed him. I was also in love with him. My sister got divorced and he started an affair with her, in which I later find out he was badmouthing me. He also started chasing my daughter, to whom he had been stepfather since elementary school. I went into the mental hospital when I found out. He now became my boss and I had no self esteem and was afraid I couldn't get a job. He had sent his ex wife off to her home country and now I was home schooling his children and taking care of them. He made me place an add for a nanny/ maid. He chose a very sexy looking Moroccan. She dressed inappropriately and his daughters didn't like her. He told me he kicked her out. For about a year he banned me from the house (which I owned) and was fighting with me constantly. Then he tells me that he sent the kids back with their mom and hte maid was kicked out. He said he was staying with a cousin. He started romancing me. He made me huge promises. He apologized for everything. He said he wanted to go to counseling. After a year of this, and long supposedly healing conversations and sex -- the guy goes overseas for a couple of months to deal with business. These months turn into 7 months. He told me he is working around the clock and feels lonely, has no sex and is working in the hot desert. His dad was sick and he said all the money was spent on hospitals and airfare. His dad died and he barely spoke to me after that which was weird because he always needed me. Now, about two months before he left for overseas, the nanny maid started calling me on Whatsapp from a number I'd never seen before and hanging up when he was with me. He swore to me that he hadn't seen or heard from her and would laugh and say, "why are you so jealous of that girl." Well, I was sitting waiting to be chosen for jury duty on November 29th and I get a friend suggestion from a profile with their photo, wrapped arm in arm and smiling. He looked like he was in absolute ecstasy. They are married and living overseas!!!! In the meantime, he was having me work my ass off in his businesses and manipulating me against people. Now, he claims he never was coming back to me (even though he said it repeatedly and was sleeping with me). He had even told me we were going to buy a house and move back in together. He says he hates me now and will never stop hating me. I did the unthinkable with a narcissist. I made a Facebook page, put our family photos and friended all of her friends and family I could find. Now he says I destroyed him. I think sent him 1000 evil emails and blew up his office phone. I have been crazy and crying in bed for a month. Now I have to get up and go on. His new supply is 16 years younger and you know what he told me, "I'm turning 50. Life is short. Just let me have this." How about he told me and didn't lie to me, and come chasing back after me. This is his response to that question, "It was for financial stability." He just doesn't care. I wasted my life with him. He wasn't ever sorry about my sister or my daughter. He doesn't really want to go to counseling with my daughter or fix anything with her. And, something is wrong with me because I should care more about what he did to my daughter (she was 17/18) and not be suffering over the new supply. I feel like I have no identity without him and I'm ashamed that she is so much younger and makes him happy but i never could.
This is all true and great information...all that she is saying has happen to me , unfortunately I heard this after and already made the mistakes she has stated not to do , but life goes on and people make mistakes can't beat myself up , Now going to try to move forward and keep in mind this Video as reference over and over in my head as a reminder, even if I have to listen to this 100 times. Thanks For The Information, Great Video , I am glad this exist in this time and age , without it we who has suffered this abuse would had stayed in the dark and probably never recovered.
"My" narc left me for a good friend I had. My story is lengthy. Bottom line, I caught on. He discarded me 2 months ago when everything blew up. I have not contacted him and neither has he.
Odd. Fortunately in my case I realized swiftly and clearly that I never loved this person (it sounds harsh but you really can't, there's nothing there to love), so I never felt jealousy. I was also not in contact because I got a restraining order and had to avoid him because he was threatening to kill me (he bought a gun for that purpose and was looking for me) ect. What did bother me is that he quickly got a girl I knew to cheat on her boyfriend with him and of course to eventually come be with him instead. She had just turned 18 and was even more meek, mild, and manipulable than I ever was. I don't see this person ever waking up or escaping like I eventually did. It's a scary and eerie feeling that he went for an obviously weaker target for his second round. That bothers me, as well as his quick snap back to being charming and overly nice in his attempts to convince the community he was innocent of everything, which somehow worked. For me it was the injustice of the situation, basically nobody believing me (because of how charming and sweet he sounded when explaining what "really" happened), and then people kinda swooning over his new relationship like it's the sweetest thing, when I know the spooky reason for exactly why he targeted her. Sorry for the long post, made me feel better. Truly grateful for anyone who gave it a read. :)
im so happy to hear this. At this point i have maintained my big heart and am sharing it with others who make me happy also. Before the narcist only took and never gave leaving me drained, but like a drug i kept coming back. After coaching myself to understand the narcist will never love me because he doesnt love himself, i began to pray for him. the illusion unveiled amd this awesome perfect smart man was this insecure little boy all along. Thats the reality that allowed me to forgive. As of today, i rekindled the idea of me being happy with another man. Truth is i am. Im still guarded with my heart. Overall, if i see my ex narcist with a new woman i only lol! My ex and i both know shes a victim. Thats all that i need to no longer mourn the narcist.
When I saw my Narcs new supply I thought that he is going to really miss me and, I feel sorry for her. When he began to Hoover back to me, I decided to take him back with the idea of examining and analyzing him. I needed to see if he was sincere. after about 7 months I realized that he had not changed. He did apologize which is what I felt that I needed. I eventually approached his new supply and told her to tell him to stop calling me and coming by my place. I should not have done that but she was talking so much crap that I was provoked. I then texted him and said that I was done! I have not heard back from him in two months. For some reason I feel as if I have closure. I needed to see for myself that his apology meant nothing. I feel so free and happy right now that I see him for who he really is and I am out of this horrible relationship. I do feel sorry for the new supply, it is just a matter of time for her!
The new supply is already in the devaluation stage. He’s accusing her of not loving him which is the same crap he put me through. She is going have it worse than I did because she has kids & I don’t. My ex narc hates kids. He already tried to come back to me once while they were together but I wasn’t having it. I actually feel bad for her because she has kids & she doesn’t need that extra stress in her life. But it’s not my job to warn her, she will have to find out to hard way. Even if I did try to warn her my ex would take that as a sign that I’m still in love him so I have to avoid that at all costs!
Yes I saw it! And it was difficult to watch. I did all the things you talk about. Compared myself, questioned everything it came back to me being honest about the reality of who he was! But it's really hard to watch! I haven't seen him in 3 years! That makes it so much better! Out of sight out of mind!
+sabrina bartlett My worst ex N, my first, is likely also a psychopath. He relished making me compare myself. He added me back to facebook years after we broke up, claiming he'd gotten therapy, had matured, changed. Last time I made that mistake of letting him have access to my social networking again. He posted his new 19!!! year old gf, then messaged me saying "see something you don't like?" This is after he really showed his ass and told me that one of my male friends was trying to fuck me (said friend lives several states away with his gf lol)... They sure are a piece of work.
my narcissist of 8 years left me for a someone half our age. It's been two months and I'm ready to head to inpatient treatment. I obsess to the point I can't live my life. No meds or therapy has helped yet.
Wendy, 2months is still too fresh. I actually did commit myself to inpatient but the psychiatrist deemed that I shouldn't be there, and offered antidepressants. I never took it. I was with my ex narc for 8 years as well. We had a child, got married and we moved across the country because there were too many people that thought I was being used. Especially my family. I'm now alone with a 6 year old boy to raise, and no family support. I found out about this 6 months ago. Officially divorced 1 month ago, and 3 days ago on my sons birthday, he remarried. He didn't even call my son to wish him happy birthday. With all of that being said, I will like you to know that it gets better. The pain is still there but at a 2 on a scale of 1-10. Whereas, at 2 months it was at 9. I've sought hypnotherapy to discover WHY I had this magnetic attraction and it has helped. It DOES get better. give it time, while making every attempt to focus on you, your spirituality and your health.
As the final discard was happening she had her new supply step in and ask me to leave. She started yelling at me so loud with all sorts of narcissistic rage and the new supply simply stated "I'm speaking", she morphed back into the person I met three years earlier simply stopping her screaming and furthermore in a calm voice apologizes to the new supply. My mind was blown. I haven't seen that behavior in years and have received nothing but gaslighting, manipulative and condescending digs, and put downs for the longest time. Everything I did was my fault everything she did was my fault... It's a very surreal moment if and when it does occur.
Thank you once again for being here to walk me through this. I'm on day 35 I found out he has a new girlfriend, he been talking to her since May... She even resembles me.. I'm sitting here glued to you tube.. he has been calling and texting me... No I have not responded.... She is the shift I felt..... All the pieces to this crazy puzzle are sitting together. Namaste... ((Hug))
thanks for your video just ended a monthe ago whit my boyfriend coud not stand it anymore what is left of me is a wounded little bird ,but im working hard one myself to be the strong woman i always was, oh and all his emails he send me now are realy sweet now i know wy!! because of your video! thanks again!!
A little over a year ago was when I escaped my last relationship with a narcissist. He was pretty good at keeping his N on the dl but he would have these moments where he would lose it and shreik insults or just say something ugly, with this gross look on his face that I have come to call the sliming face, where they will look at you really mean, and force a look of disgust to deliver it too, like "ewww you're so [this or that -- whatevers convenient or a nerve they have discovered at some point to hit later when the time is right]..." He would have a shitfit and shreik and then go back to "normal" (his mask of sanity). I asked him a lot of questions and came up with a lot of contradictions and had to piece things together for myself, as the truth was there lying around in pieces just rearranged in order to make his exs look bad and him look like a saint -- quite the opposite of the truth. I caught a glimpse of the future with him after learning a lot about his exs and his habits. What he does is get a new gf (and he cannot be alone!! so he always gets a new one immediately and we are about as special as a house plant to him) then eventually he will get bored of her and start spending all his time in video games and looking at porn, leaving her cold and lonely, wondering where all the attention and complements have gone. The last straw for me were the barrage of attacks on my personal appearance. I don't like to say things like this but to put it in his own language to so speak, because he is very superficial and wholly buys into the television reality of culture, I am fathoms more conventionally attractive than he is (he is abdominally obese, doesn't even have a nice face, he just pretended we had soooooo much in common and I don't care about looks anyway). And I get complements and looks a lot, people tell me I'm beautiful, sexy, etc... So it floored me that this ugly warthog could casually insult my appearance like I wasn't enough for someone who looks like him. I recognized it for what it was at some point though, narcissistic abuse/negging/they want to make you feel horrible so you won't think you can go find anyone better. He even tried to tell me "no man in the world is going to be happy with your appearance" even though every time we were out, someone would stare at me and check me out and make him feel insecure over it. So, I left. And he had to have been on a dating site while he was "with" me because days later he brags about a date, then posts on his tumblr about how he found a new gf. He bragged about how she was willing to let him play his pedophile role playing games in the bedroom, pretending hes her father, and shes a young female child (something that I refused to do). The thing is though, he could have even made all of that up and hasn't found anyone to this very day (Boston, people are picky, and he is below average, slummy, obese..) The moral of my story, WHO KNOWS!! Lol... they are so full of shit and lies that unless you see it with your own eyes you have no idea what they're getting up to, and you will never know what they're really thinking until you spot the patterns for yourself.
+athanaisdc I feel you on so many levels. All we can do is try to increase awareness. Thank you so much for sharing your story here - you just contributed to that effort. You never know who you could help - you could even literally save someone's life that way. Hugs and love to you.
+Angie Atkinson Thank you, and I love your insights! I enjoy how the youtube comments section on these videos can turn into a sort of narcissist's ex support group. There are stages people go through and sometimes sharing an experience, or nugget of wisdom gleaned through those experiences can really help someone whos wanting to leave their N, or someone who has left but is still in that "wait what the heck just happened to me" disillusioned phase. You never know what tidbit of information we share might really make it click for someone so they can make peace with it and put it away. For me personally, its all about understanding the situation that helps me get on the path to recovery, and I feel like its even therapeutic sharing with others, perhaps knowing something good came out of my past, now I can help others. : )
+athanaisdc Completely agree with you. It's an amazing feeling when you have validation that these things are/were really happening to you, and not just a figment of your imagination.
+athanaisdc Sounds like we (and probably everyone else) has almost a cookie cutter version of the N. Everything from the shrieking, the glaring, the random under-handed insults, and the inability to be alone. I'm talking about an almost 30 yr old man-boy who never truly lived independently on his own with his own responsibilities. He was in the military and even there he wasn't "technically" responsible for himself. When he was buying his house, he was single-ish but he was looking for the person who would take care of him and the house. He found her and within six weeks of meeting her he was having her move in. Then...he started his first semester at the university...and I kid you not...two weeks later he had the first girl kicked out (and I mean viciously just told her to get out) and started the process of moving the current one in. LITERALLY...kicked the one out on Friday and had the "lunch date" with the current one set up for the following Monday. It's strange when you get to witness these things and then actually see where they happened to you during the "relationship". You also realize how much work they put in at keeping their illusion alive. BTW folks...if someone tells you that they made it through the interview process of a police department, but was told no...AND to not to bother to reapply--count that as a red flag. If they also happen to fail the personality test to adopt a dog...consider that a runaway moment. He ended up going to another shelter and managed to adopt a really sweet pup, but mostly it was to give new girl the reason to stay I think. Up until then, he's only had a cat (that his parents took care of). There are so many obvious signs that you see once you are no longer enthralled by these fake humans. He's so good at "acting" human that I think he could win an Oscar for his performances sometimes.
Hi Angie ~ Thank you for this enlightening video. "Yes," as a matter of fact I am currently seeing my narcissistic husband of six years ( soon to be ex ) move on to a new narcissistic supply. He will be 70 this year, she turned 21. She is absolutely physically beautiful and very intelligent. I know her well because she is my biological granddaughter! Do I think it's physical? No, not yet, she's being groomed. This documentable. While I love and feel for my granddaughter, who works part-time as a genuine Hooters girl, I'm beginning to feel that in charm and temperament, the two be well matched? There's his side and my side, but, it's such a big relief to know there's the objective and clear reality of what narcissistic behavior looks like and its usual outcomes. Thank you for that reality and a beautiful path to healing. Be well, and thanks again. Vi Watson
Your Narcissist's New Supply: ua-cam.com/play/PLKJkV-gn8oabj2JRfAozCGUa90JLLlJDg.html
PS could you show me who the new supply is who the players all we're just so I can look at my notes and see
If someone could just show me who the third party new supply it is just so I can compare them to my already extensive notes that we just tickle my Fancy I would leave here with nothing but my clothes on my back in a smile on my face just because you want to see crazy I got no books for what I've been going through for the past going on a yearMSI my check evidence was evidence no matter which question took it to and what state
Here is a list of what Abusers/Narcissists usually do to their targets :
- Insults their target very often. Then lie when confronted about it, or say it was a joke.
- When confronted with their behavior, they pretend to be innocent and play the victim.
- Everything is always your fault, even when it's obviously not.
- They always have a justification for every bad thing they do. They think they're always right.
- Very controlling, they tell you how to live, but they can live anyway they want. Very hypocritical.
- They accuse you of what they're doing to you (RED FLAG!), it's called Projection.
- Portraying themselves as angels outside, when they are actually demons with their family and especially their target.
- They want you to fail, while pretending to want you to succeed (they're very convincing).
- They never say they are sorry for hurting you (RED FLAG!).
- Poison your favorite activities, they don't want you to be happy or to get pleasure. They also poison other useful activities like important skills which will help you in the future. They DO NOT want you to have skills, they want you to be as weak as possible. They don't teach you anything.
- Subtly lead a smear campaign against their target, so they isolate it and make sure they don't get help.
- When you want to leave the relationship with a narcissist, they beg you to stay with them and cry crocodile tears. They are the best actors.
- Sometimes nice, sometimes cruel. You never know where you stand with them.
- They pretend to be "victims", and they blame the target for their own behavior.
- They are incredibly arrogant and sadistic. They see the target as weak, and deserving to suffer.
- They think they are models to be followed.
- They are spiritually dead although they might loudly profess some kind of Spiritual Belief.
Please share this message to other people and forums. We have to raise awareness!
Oblivion Darkheart, this perfectly explains my ex, Maria A.
Oblivion Darkheart wow nice and true
narcs rarely stay single too I've noticed, they ALWAYS have to stay in a relationship or marriage just to feel whole or something closer to.
Perfectly said
They steal, destroy or dirty up your things and money.
I love how you say "if she seems better...its only because he hasn't ruined her yet". I was that girl, everything I did was "perfect" and now I'm old womanish (not really) but my awareness and maturity is 10x more developed than when I was "new girl". I no longer care to be perfect. In fact I never want to be held on that pedestal again because its silly and not real. I can't wait to be loved for the real me and not this idealized version that I was for 5 months before I was discarded the first time.
Yup I can relate. Thank you for sharing with me. Hugs and love!
+Rosie 1414 My most recent N's ex gained a load of weight when she was with him. When they met she was athletic, after the breakup she was wearing spanx. Whats funny is I was very slim when I met him, and I also gained weight dating him. Same reason it turned out, we both drank to cope with the shitty feelings kicking around inside us, being consistently and covertly emotionally abused by an insidious twisted creature.
Amber Bigelbach 2 years later. How are things?
@@athanaisdc I got very sick, still trying to recover 2 yrs later
Why they ruin what they like on first place?
Incredible. My life to a T. 6 years we were together, I was a happy bubbly creative person and he sucked the life out of me to the point where my eyes lost their shine. He got satisfaction when I was down, critisised me for anything and everything, made me out to be a horrible person when I did everything for him. Sex....only on his terms, only to satisfy himself I never had much enjoyment because it was all about him. Thank Christ I'm out Oh and the new supply is half my age and has the same name as me!! Showering her with jewelry and holidays. I'm still angry but I hate him and I know he will never be happy.
same thing here 6 years together he never did anything for me, now is bending over backwards for the new younger girl, thing is she was a rebound and left after 3 months, he was still calling me through the whole relationship and whining about how badly she treated him, basically she wouldn't put up with his shit. I am no contact now.
Same me ..she is 10 years younger than me...and now he is love bombing her....and shows his happines into the social network....
Yep hes moving in with a 35yo and hes 63...obviously hes still lovebombing her and ensnared a younger victim. He was cheating on me while we were together...not sure if it was this supply or another but he posted on FB that hes in a new relationship a day before the discard while we were on vacation together. Good luck ...karma is a bitch girlfriend!
Same with me
I'm going to shake the hand of the new supply, bc she's taking him away. hopefully....
burrochapadogrl I can totally understand that.
I feel that way too but it also hurts. I honestly wanted someone to please take him off my hands cuz I was DRAINED. But I'm jealous cuz his new supply is gorgeous. I hate this. I want to heal.
@@marydoe9060 😭😭😭
I was manipulated financially. Everything was my fault.11 years. Walking on eggshells, left with low self esteem.
My narcissist broke me but helped me to realize how much my life has been drained by narcissist . I was able to break free from my narcissistic family and this is the happiest ive been . Now he has a new supply
Good for you for setting yourself free from them!
Your videos have been helping me sooo much...Still trying to understand how someone could just drop a 12+ year marriage in 8 days and in 3 days following start a "in love" relationship! So thank you for putting these out there.
You said it all, thank you. I have been nc for two years today. Still have anger and sadness thinking about the new supply. Moving forward is so hard.He drained me mentally and physically. Im just doing day by day.
It hurts and everyday is hard but pray you heal soon.
He’s been gone 8 weeks, cannot believe I spent 22 years with that evil man. I’m trying to push all the pain away, especially as I need to focus on the impact it has had on my children, who he can’t be bothered with. I do hope you find contentment and that we can learn to understand that they lost us, we never lost them 😔❤️
I think I need to listen to this everyday
The worst part is to see him completely forget you like you never existed in his life.. I often feel sad when I think how expendable i was to him and how he could care so less of me after getting his new partner. Well your video is really helpful.
I struggle with that very much. We were still very intimate up until the last day, even after 10 years, and I miss that so much but the reality check .. that is all meant nothing to him, is devastating.
I feel this too. It's so hard to comprehend. I am trying to get this thought out of my head.
Letting go of the illusion is so painful. I wanted our life and family so bad, but none of it was real. I went back to him for a 4 weekend and became part of the delusion again. I had my home, my furniture, food in the cupboard, my love, my life back for a couple of days. I knew I had to leave again, I knew none of it was real and as I drove away from my beautiful home back to the shed I have moved to to try and escape I got an email from him. Not an email for me of course, an email to one of the many aliases I have set up to catch him at his repulsive cheating. I was gone for less than an hour and he was trying to set up sex with a stranger. To date I still haven't felt anger, still trying to climb my way out of the hurt. Thank you for your videos.
+April Sunn Oh April, I can feel your pain! Hugs and love to you. Please come join SPAN if you feel comfortable: queenbeeing.com/span
+April Sunn They try to build the illusion very quickly to get you entrapped early on I have noticed. They might rush into getting a pet together so you will feel more attached, and then if you try to leave they might say well you aren't taking the dog (who you love like a child at this point). I can only imagine how horrible it is to have actual children with them. The last one I tangled with tried to get me to move in with him INSTANTLY. Red flag!!! He talked about how hes always supported his women, and how he'd take care of me... fortunately I caught onto him early on and got out. If I hadn't, I would have ended up homeless eventually because he is also one to get you to cut ties with everyone else, then once you are privy to his game you have nowhere left to go.
I am watching from afar the new supply relationship and everything Angie is saying is true and on point. The pain helps me to move on and make it impossible to go back. I also wanted to see if he treated the new supply better and actually he is treating her worse faster. It is like watching a mini series of our relationship but a flop. I wouldn't put up with any of it. Wow!
We so want to warn them, but you cant .. you would be considered insane or jealous.
+eastbaysf That is absolutely the truth!!
+eastbaysf I went through the dilemma of "should I tell his new TI?" I even went to my pastor with this and he said "It won't work." So I just let it go.
+Don't Feed the Narcs sorry but what is ti? thanks
+eastbaysf Its funny, I'm friends with my first Ns ex now, and shes actually pretty awesome. He'd have me believe she was a stupid, insane bitch. She is none of those things. Just traumatized by him.
Lorraine sometimes it's not because of jealous or something else. For example, I don't listen old supply and choose to not contact with narc and old supply it's because sometimes the old supply can triangulate me and narc again there's 2 possibilities: 1. Revenge for the hurt they once felt 2. Hidden agenda because the old supply has talk bad about me ( I never met her and know her before) her intentions is to revenge for the narc, bc narc has ruin her relationships ( her previous boyfriend) 3. Narc can use old supply for flying monkey, acting like she came with good intentions, trying to help me to make my relationship with narc going smooth again. They are crazy making !
This is so true! I once finally got my narcissist to leave and was doing great, but he and everything around him seemed to be doing great and I (pregnant at the time with his child) succumbed to believing that I was holding him down and that he had been right the whole time, etc, etc, etc. We got back together, got married and moved 3000 miles away from my support system which he had previously alienated anyway. Long story short, he was NOT better, I was NOT wrong. Now getting rid of him is going to be a hassle and an expensive one. (He's already put me in the hole big time.) Heed the words of this video. LEAVE and DON'T look back...at ANYTHING. The facade is a show...that's all. Thank You for the video.
'You choose to feel what you feel. In difficult times (life events) give yourself time to feel the feelings: 24-48 hrs and *then* let go. You cannot just let go, otherwise you will dissociate. You have to feel the feelings to heal.'
I needed to hear this. Thank you.
Lessons can be hard . But we will all find real Love where two human beings come together and accept each other woth unconditional love and get to know each other at a appropriate pace ❤
"He just hasn't ruined her yet". I couldn't have said it better!
I don't contact him whatsoever but I know I feel sorry for the next one he gets with ESPECIALLY if she's a 'good girl' like I am. People are pawns in a narc's life thats it especially someone close to them
Indeed!! My ex has been remarried like 3 times since I left him back in 1998!!
My husband started having an affair 3 months before I had enough and wanted out.. he had me thinking I was crazy! He even had the kids thinking i was crazy!! I'm a very strong independent person 2 yrs older then him. He went for someone 16yrs younger totally opposite from me actually everything he said he disliked older men w younger women,smoker,heavy and from the other side of the tracks. It was like I didn't know him. I was willing to overlook all of this and believed for awhile it was all me..that's how he had me going until I seen and read about mental illness and narcissistic behavior..once I started educating myself I been feeling a bit better. I can now sleep and eat. I love him but, so glad to be in peace! I love watching your videos. Thank you so much!
I had to go to a party this weekend with the happy couple there. It was awkward and yes , she does look happy and well put together and normal, so does he. It eats me alive and then there are the inevitable facebbok pics of the party. I think sometimes she just wanted a younger, better looking guy and yes that hurts. And I still wonder if it was me making too much of things and she really isn't a narc. But she was abusive, and she did exhibit crazy making behavior and she faked seizures to get out of work so her parents support her and her daughter. There was also definintely love bombing and the future faking, the constant flirting, the death eyed cold shoulder, then the silent treatment ,ghosting which made me break up with her. Despite all these things that happened during our time together to look at her and hear her talk you would never know. I want nothing more to be right about her, but sometimes appearances make me doubt myself and I feel like the crazy one. I had to watch this again and I guess write this comment. It put things in perspective for me to do so. I can't avoid the painful feelings . I still need time and it hurts. But I can keep moving on after feeling them.
So if you think she wanted a younger version, could it be a younger version of YOU...you know, before she destroyed you and discarded you? Caught my husband on a website. When my friends saw the description of the type of woman he was looking for they said to me, "he just described you!" I replied, "yeah, me before I allowed him to destroy me".
john garcia you Sir just described my relationship for the past few weeks, every detail it's truly soul destroying to watch a person you love act this way😣 but what I learned it doesn't matter who it is they just keep moving from person to person so at least we can take away it isn't us personally as people. I hear you brother just pick yourself up that's why we fall to get up again🖒🖒🖒🖒
bmb6 sounds like my ex gf. A complete covert narcissist
bmb6 Sorry you had to deal with that. I'm the same way. the narc I deal with goes to school with me. And he acts so nice and kind to everyone in class so nobody believes me if I mention his evil nasty behavior. (I only did this with trusted people the list is smaller now) I thought maybe I misunderstood him maybe I was being overly dramatic but then ALL of what I went through was confirmed by a previous victim who also dealt with him and so I knew I wasn't crazy. Furthermore now people are wising up to his less than perfect behavior especially since now him being 32 is dating an 18yr old girl and he also tried to screw her sister who is only a year older. He's seriously gross. but I hope your doing better now.
Kry Kry I never asked but I'm smart enough to know he was implying it. He passed by my classroom hand in hand four times with this chic who actually looks similiar to me. but I realized I lack nothing and he is only using her to boost his ego.Simply put the only thing I do not have is him and that is what she has. quite, frankly good riddance.
Wow all this really puts everything into perspective. Thanks so much. I will listen to this over and over until it sinks in
Angie your the best and your voice is also very soothing.
Thank you ♡
Tell the new girlfriend/boyfriend anyway. They won't believe you but in a few months, their eyes will start to see and they may make the connections sooner.
+mikel1998 So true, it's the first crack in the armour. At first they will think that you're crazy and jealous- jealous part may be true if you're just broken up- but like a good thriller movie they will begin to see that things aren't quite what they seem with their perfect new soul mate. Something will happen and they will remember that things you said, that's when they will get the "twist in the end" moment when they see the true antagonist of their love story. That's what happened to me and my HPD ex-girlfriend. You could save that person a few months or years of abuse.
+mikel1998 The last N I dated was terrified of me and his ex talking. "I dunno she might say I cheated on her or something which she'd be lying but..." Riiiiiiiight.
+athanaisdc So common!
Sometimes they act like they have nothing to hide when they have everything to hide. I can see my ex allowing me to talk to his ex and then just cover up everything she says with a lie.
mikel1998 initially it seems like the ex is crazy, it's only when you start to see the NPDs mask slip that you realize that the crazy rantings of the ex could actually be the truth. It makes it harder to ignore the mask slipping events, or just justify them as one off incidents.
This video was very helpful and validating. I've just recently joined the fb group and just hearing that this type of thing happens to other people makes me feel less crazy. He would always "get better" when we were separated which would make me think it was me and we'd get back together. This part you described in the video is actually the reason I'm nervous about calling it quits again. But hearing this is so eye opening. Thank you for doing what you do. 🙂💗
+Wendy North Totally typical of a narc! Stay strong my friend - you really do deserve better.
after two years of braking up. i dated 3 people...and moved to Florida from New jersey 6 months ago... I am more stable than ever than the 2 years we were together...she sees i am happy so started to look at my instagram and that brought back so many memories... once she notice i was ignoring her.. he sister uploaded a picture of her and her new supply... i got real upset and closed my instagram account a month ago... after that i feel better... and started checking videos on friday about Narcs behaviors .. this is all very helpful ... Gracias
I think with some of them it's more than just getting bored and moving on. In my experience the narc set up subtle scenarios just weeks before the mask slipped while my guard was completely down. Then when she flipped the evil switch on me, she used memories of those events to trigger insecurities. She also started triggering my temper in front of friends and family to make me appear unreasonable. Part of what lowers your self esteem and makes you start worrying is the sudden ghosting, but it's also the cold behavior. I sense that she was getting off over the fact that she had tricked into being right where she wanted me and now she could torture me and there was nothing I could do. She was trying to demonstrate to me that I was weak, and tried to destroy the pride I had about doing the right things and meaning what I say. She wanted to humiliate me. She totally planned this crazy stuff out in advance. I was her project. There's no other explanation. She did cause me to stumble at first, but once I caught my balance, I told her not to contact me in any way. She reminded me of that salt sucker in the original Star Trek series, with the suction cup fingers, that could take on the form of anyone she wanted so that you would trust her.
I noticed his original smile was back
I knew it was because of someone else
I am so happy the new supply is here to give me a reason even more so to move on
They deserve one another
She will soon see the truth
Since she’s younger she may deal with and she will have more fun
I don’t do drama
She does
I know what ur saying is right
I know what they are say about me
I don’t care
Lovin my me back❤️💞💞💞
I let someone into my life for only seven months, the turmoil that was created for myself who had a strong and secure state if mind was never like anything I'd gone through in my life, knowing what she had done, how I was played and manipulated and gaslight for the best part of two months while she was devaluing me is one thing, recovery from such trauma is another, thank you for this video focusing on the self well being, making the mind realise what happened is not our own doing, and how to best deal with potential situations and avoid negative thinking, very fresh Point of view seeing this, thank you!
This is amazing! Really really helped. Been on/off with my narcissist for 8 year. He got a new supply but kept her secret for nearly a year. Then got her pregnant, ringing me when they had lost it to console him 🙄 This really helps me reprogram my brain & how I feel about myself. He’s a poison xx Thank you for posting xx
I've been disgarded after 6 yrs and I feel relieved
I didn't want to believe he was a narcissist. Because after being on and off, sucked back in by him repeatedly, I never wanted to acknowledge that I've willingly allowed him to treat me how he did. He's got a new supply after me giving 6 years and two kids. He's had women all along but I thought I could change him. This video is a God send.
I do wish I would have told the police the truth when he hit me with his car whilst drunk. I wish I would have followed through when he pulled a gun on me. I wish I would have called the police when he tried to kill me by pushing me out the window and beating me black blue and bloody♥
VonDa in Wonderland I wish I would have followed through with the police investigation as well
I'm glad I liked this video because it is definitely coming in handy this week. Last week I got a longgg e-mail from my ex narc that said but wasn't limited to him wanting to marry me " I'm the love of his life" , how I deserve the world, he wants to make it work, he will change...you name it he said it. This previous Saturday I found out he's had a new supply for over a month and she's already leaving stuff at his house (sounds like a relationship to me). Either he's rushing her into intimacy or he's been seeing her a lot longer than a month or possibly both. My mind was blown! Wow he tried to make me feel bad for him! This whole time he's been sending me gifts and letters and roses while dating a new girl. I'm disgusted with him. I'm sure that's what happened to me when I was the "new girlfriend" many years ago!
Was married for over 20 years.Ex remarried within a year,seems to be very happy and enjoying full social life with some of our old friends who welcomed new woman warmly while for the most part dumping me altogether. It's now been 9 years. I do not speak to either of them and we just meet when necessary at family occasions that are unavoidable ( our children's weddings and parties for newborn grandchildren). He insisted on dragging her to teenage kids' school events which I found really objectionable but he would not stop. Now all grown up. It irks me that my kids also have some of his traits of coldness, aloofness, ignoring me as a person, as if i am a piece of furniture. I have never spoken to her and do not follow up on what they do, but as stated, they do appear very happy together and he seems to be treating her the way he should have treated ME as his wife, while I have remained alone and have not had any relationships except one , another narcisist even more full blown than ex husband.Took me awhile to figure him out but finished with him and still feel terrible that I was sucked in . Too bad i did not know back then about all this stuff!
I totally get why you feel the way you do - just remember that the way he treats her in "public" is always going to be different than in private. Hugs and love ♡
PS You're smart to not follow their activities.
+ANHPAM He will end up treating her the same way, I'm certain. And sorry to hear about the children... as they grow older though, they will probably shed those ways and see what an ass he is, and see you for the loving mother you are.
This is my current situaton. I decided to listen to narc videos again because he is with someone new. I don't want him but have a 1 year old with him and he refuses to let me go no contact (he always uses the baby to send text, etc) although I felt nothing seeing the pic of them my mind is running and I'm sad. and worse I feel even more hurt that he will never feel Karma or party for his ways. I can't get over the fact that they will live a life they choose and never pay for their evil ways. I need to let go of the hate I have for him.
I just read your post. I am going through the same feelings and I know how hard it is. I am sorry
+john garcia yes, they are some kind of evil. The Devil here on earth. It's so crazy to believe a human being can live without empathy or concern for others that no one understands unless they have been there. You know a person hasn't death with a narc when they say something ignorant like, "get over it". I just wish he would go away and leave me alone. I'm trying to get away, lol
Nidza Sepulveda I just learned that there's something called Family Wizard that might help you reduce your contact with him even more.
Thank you for the information! I'll look into it. The more I try no contact the more he gets upset and threatens to take baby from me. I'm no longer scared because I'm a great mom. i won't allow him to control me with threats. Thanks for the info again. since I posted the original text about being sad i am no longer sad! yay! I'm getting a lot stronger.
Nidza.. in any way shape or form do not feel sad, hurt, over your baby dad..or even his New Supply.. His New Supply has no idea what she in for??😉.. I'm sure he painted a pretty good picture of you as a horrible mother.. which we all know your NOT!!!😙.. SO!! from the outside world he making everything LOOK🤓 happy!!!.. behind closed doors just remember how he treated YOU!!..😠 leopards don't change their spots!!.. Even with the NEW Supply's.. She probably thinks she can fix him or she's imagining this is not really happening to her... and she's probably in the confused stage right now.. However, what I would do is go no contact!! especially with your cell phone.. when he has the baby for his visitation time get a little backpack and put a notebook inside it.. any communication that needs to be done between you and him in regards to the baby needs to be written out in baby's Notebook.. When it's time for you tonpivk baby UP or when he brings baby back to YOU!! do it in a way that you guys don't have to see each other.. have a good friend or a family member..have them do the exchange for YOU.. that way you don't have to see him or talk to him.. that's what I did with my ex-husband. when it came to our son.. he was 6 month's old.. back in the day.. when we were going through a divorce.. This was how judge set it up to do our exchanges.. because, we could not get along at all.. This was before I even knew what a narcissist was all about!! . Until I experienced it with a recent ex-boyfriend that I finally ended it in August of this year.. he was the narc.. and the hell!! shit that I went through for 18 months with him.. he's a dirty old sick bastard and now I'm glad I'm away from him.. meaning my ex-boyfriend so now that I've experienced this looking back my ex-husband definitely was a narcissist.. getting back to my Ex Narc BOYFRIEND!! He now has a NEW Supply he did the triangle with us.. when I finally caught him.. with her and I immediately ended it with him.. he then tried to flaunt her in my face many times over.. when I would see him in a public place or if I was at restaurant sitting outside here in our town.. he WOULD drive by 6 or 7 times with her in the truck REALLY!! that doesn't say too much for her now does it?? cuz when they would see me I could see him point to me and she turned her head like she was The Exorcist just couldn't wait to see what I look like... I guess he WAS hoping that it was going to make me jealous?? and I WOULD come running back to him!! ya right??.. it did the total opposite I'm the one that went running away far away from them.. it backfired in his face.. my understanding he was hoping to see a reaction from me they can't handle it when you ignore him and that's exactly what I did to a point where I had to get a restraining order against him and her.. only went to court on restraining order that's when I really got a good look at her oh my God he's trying to make me jealous with that!!! she's fat, ugly!! stupid!!! obviously.. he did the smear campaign by portraying me as I'm the sick wacko jealous ex-girlfriend.. Not that I'm trying to rock my own boat here... I'm attractive, have lost alot of weight.. so I'm definitely more slender than I was when I was with him...now I can wear the tiny clothes, and I'm well endowed on top.. that makes him jealous that I lost all the weight.. didnt lose it on top!! I've heard that through the grapevine he jealous that I lost the weight and I've moved on with my life !!! SO, trust me honey there's Karma!! We may not get it see it!! now that I'm looking back at my ex-husband he got his Karma!! he's lost everything his business his home..SO see there is karma!!! Oh and one other thing your Ex Narc baby's daddy he can't take the child away from YOU.. SO. don't even let him try to threaten you at all...that the control talking.. he wants to regain the control back.. stay strong for you and baby!! my EX-husband tried to threaten me and control me by stating that he was going to take my son away from me!! It backfired in his face.. I am a good mom!! and he was the drunk and the drug addict...I proved that in court back 1997.. and with these type of narcissist men they can't stand losing and also can't stand is when you moved on with your life made a good life for yourself and for your baby!! that will drive them crazy!!!😆 that's the karma they will GET!!😂 Lol!!!
I glad he with someone else I already told her good luck cause she was gonna need it but wish them the best.
This was so helpful! I did something that sounds dumb after 6 months of no contact, but I did it for a reason. I hooked up with my ex fiancee narc while getting some things from her apartment before moving out of state. I wanted to stop romanticizing what we had before, and seeing what a mess she is now (alcohol, smoking, and never eating) actually did help. What was devastating was seeing what she had written about sex with this new girl and how it was the best ever, when apparently she is using the exact same lines she used on me during sex!! Anyway, she said she'd tell this girl she's seeing that we hooked up, but of course I'm sure she didn't. I was strongly considering telling the new supply that her girlfriend hooked up with her ex fiancee last weekend, but I couldn't decide. I guess after watching this I'll just try harder to let it go.
My ex Narc just remarried. 6 months after I found out about her, 1 month after our divorce was final. To add insult to injure, he got married on the day of my sons 6 year old birthday and didn't even call him to wish him happy birthday. He hasn't spoken to him in several months.
I do feel sorry for his wife. They've known each other for less than 1 year and he's managed to convince her to marry him in this short span of time. She has no idea who he is
Update on this story? Lol
We need updates please
My favorite part about my experience was him posting to Facebook saying we both had "agreed" we were no longer good for each other....lol no dude. We were married a year before you cheated on me with my friend...and then....i was the bad guy. Ahahaha everything will come full circle. Eventually he will realize she's human and not perfect and the same story will play over and over.
Rachel Mcelroy Ugh! So evil! So sorry Hun. You deserve better!!
I wanted and prayed daily that he would find someone else..and..still have hope for him..that he does..I wouldn't care if I seen him at the store with someone else..I'm out..don't care what he did or does anymore...the same week..I moved out..he had his mother and his " friend" move in..so..he has someone else to pay his 500 dollar water bill..and..350 dollar electric bill..he has 47 tanks of fish..and blamed me for not being able to pay those bills..now he can blame them..he had no financial responsibility..he was also very childlike..playing video games from the time he woke up till the time I got home from work..on his day off...I literally sooo much happier now...I am glad I got to meet him..so..I know what to look for next time..
You know you’re on the tail end of his devaluation when he starts valuing even men more than you ... 😩 ugh
Yup. Yup. Yup. Can't agree more. Sadly, you cannot warn someone the storm of shit they're getting themselves into.
I'm doing that right now with my best friend. Watching her go through this abuse is so hard, but she claims she knows what she is doing.
I think maybe with a friend you have more wiggle room. I can't warn a new "supply" that she's playing with fire because me being an ex, will just come off "jealous" when in reality, I would never want my ex again. He's a fucking nutcase as far as I'm concerned, and I do genuinely feel bad for the new women who may enter his life who have no clue how ill he is.
+Lux Chevis that's because you are empathetic and you sound very healthy. It is playing with fire to get involved with a narcs new relationship . Chances are she won't believe you and you will look like sour grapes . My friend knows she is playing with fire but is intoxicated by the sex. I will be there to pick up the pieces when he crushes her soul .
OMG!! I couldn't agree more..don't get involved with the new Supply!! I've got a restraining order against my NARC!!! because he's been stalking me!! After I finally ended it.. he has drove by a restaurant that he knows.. I frequently visit with her in the truck 4 times!!!what does that say ABOUT!! New supply!! when I had to go to court in regards the restraining order to get it extended for a year!! New supply was there in court.. And oh my God when I saw what she looked like You Can Tell She's got issues!! either with alcohol or drugs or both.. she's in her forties but she looks like she's in her late sixties!! ugly and fat!! what does that tell you who he has chosen for his new Supply!! As for me on 61 everyone has told me I look like I'm in my forties!! nice compliments.. I'm attractive and slender.. he tries to make me jealous with her.. REALLY!!! he doesn't realize I laugh at him. she gave me a half a smile in the courtroom when it was over... YES!!! she got an earful of how he been stalking me when she's at work... I wasn't out of the house 2 weeks when he moved here in obviously he was seeing her behind my back... amongst all the other ones that I caught him with and finally ended it had enough 18 months of his b******* lies and cheating empty promises words didn't match.. even though we bought me an engagement ring he took it back that's fine I want no memories!! a week ago today.. New supply she's moved out of his house.. I heard from his neighbor across the street.. her and I are still friends.. but, I guess somehow he must have sucked her back.. she was gone 4 days and now she's back in again..they left today on the jet ski he drove through town and past my house with her in the truck and the Jets..i was sitting in side yard with my dogs when all sudden he driving by.. obviously hoping that I would see him!! I guess he keeps thinking it's going to make me jealous!! that's okay just enough building more of case to get him arrested violating restraining order and harassing me and stalking!!. not that I'm trying to knock this girl can tell this girl by the way she dresses where she lived is trailer park trash!!! Yes, he has a beautiful home!! an exclusive rich neighborhood.. he acts like he has money!!! but, he doesn't!!! that i know for fact!! what he's got in his bank accounts...so she's going to try to hang on to him... I'm sure she doing the chasing!! I'm sure was giving her silent treatment!! interim I saw him with another woman when she broke up and moved out for those few days... oh well it's deja vu of what I went through in the 18 months we were together he's pulling the same crap on her as he did with me every time I moved out when I caught him!!! good for them!! Life Goes On!!! Please do go no contact!! I'm to the point of possibly moving from Nevada.. to get away from him totally.. point of the story don't confront the new Supply.. far as I'm concerned she's probably in it for the money he's is seventy-seven years old she's in her forties what does that tell you... he's a great lair, manipulating piece of s***.. she wants to try to see if she can get money out of him!! it ain't going to happen and I know that for a fact so too bad for her she can be on the roller coaster ride.. I got off!!! stay away from them they are sick evil can't call him human beings their creatures!!!
Jo Ann Bridgford My love, let us be grateful the narc didn't take anymore time than they already have, and let us be thankful to the new supply as well because they take some of the heat off of us when we need to focus on ourselves the most. I just figure, my narc has spun some crazy story about me, how everything was "my fault" and she isn't the wiser. She doesn't know me and has no connection to anyone who does know me to see anything any other way. The thing is that new person is probably falling for the story just as we had. But, you're right. It's not worth it. I just wish I could, the key word being *wish* I could save her because she has no clue what she's dealing with. One day she might, and if she ends up in the same pain as me I only hope she has enough strength to crawl out of the hole he'll dig for her.
I thank the grace of god for people like yourself, giving such an insight into what we go through, I've been holding on for a couple of years now, and just to have someone reiterate what I have been feeling and experiencing is golden. I thank you for sharing this information which I believe is pivotal in the process of healing xxx
wow I am in the midst of healing and I've known that my Narc was a Narc. since last fall but finally took responsibility for the role I played in attracting him. I decided that Melanie Tonia Evans narp program was a good choice for me but I ended up after a month of no contact talking to him again because a friend called and so did he and appeared suicidal due to the separation. He even admitted to the awful behavior. So I started the relationship up again as friends which we were at the time we stopped talking too. Anyway he tells me he was seeing two women while I was gone that he was looking at as potential long termers. But he actually admitted to me he didn't have the energy to pursue them in the way he wanted to because he was too depressed over losing me. As soon as I resumed the relationship. again out of feeling bad for him, he picked the girl he wanted and lo and behold ...she is even more hooked in than me. It's literally like watching my life three years ago. So even though I did a backslide. ...I did ultimately end it again. this time for good. I really want to warn her because she is so sweet and has a beautiful daughter. but he already told her im jealous and crazy. I wish I could because my kids were affected horribly. All the while he told me what a horrible mom I was.
Stephanie Farlow z
I went thru a very brief relationship with a Narc woman, she love bombed, put me on the pedastel, then devalued, then discarded. Textbook. Lied with no conscience, did the whole public smear campaign, everything. Even tried to keep me hanging while she was pursuing other supply sources. ( did not happen I broke it off, luckily I am the type to ask questions and kind of know when someone is lying. Luckily it was only 3 months, but I luckily asked questions when things didn't add up: three marriages to men she said she never loved, it was all thier fault, four kids from said marriages, lies about sexual past, lied about her therapy, lied about her past..IM just glad I ask questions. She ended up in a relationship immediately afetrwards..and was engaged within a month of that..now married I hear. I know the 'shell" I "loved" was all fake, I watched that whole process during that 3 months period. What broke the shell was when I caught her in the first lie, it began to break down, and that subtle monster of emotional abuse came out, albeit slowly. I wish I could relate the story fully. Some narc women will p[urposefully pick someone whom they know they will discard later, they know it, but it can be used as part of an agenda to make themselves look like victims, all the while keeping other potential supply interests within ear shot to hear about how bad they are being treated, when in fact they are purposefully manipulating the current victim. I also realized this was not my first relationship with a Narc woman. Yep, it makes me second guess everything, myself, my ability to have a good love realtionship, BUt in the long run, women like this end up bitter and empty, and when they face that inevitable end..to be honest..I pity people like that.
Thank you so so much for this. Spot freaking on. Made me cry... in a good way. Thank you.
Yes, I told my narc that I was going to crush him. I sent all his texts he had been sending me to his new supply. Even the one where he was telling me how good in bed I was ( proof he had cheated on her). I did that out of revenge BTW, thinking shed wise up and dump his lying cheating ass. But it did no good. She said she was happy to share him and nothing anyone can say will make her not love him! I find it hard to feel sorry for her! He texted me on Jan.1 to wish me a happy new year. I told him I couldn't return the sentiment and " go eat shit, the both of you' and he couldn't figure out " why all the hate? I want you in my life and can't we be just friends"? I got a new phone so he doesn't have my number now. I'm always scared I'll run into him somrwhere
You're doing God's work with this channel.
Currently going through the aftermath of a narcissist break up. The way you describe everything in this video is exactly what I'm going through. I have not yet seen her with anybody new, however we go to the same gym and I know eventually she'll be working out with someone new like she did with me in the beginning. I do miss her terribly. It's all so messed up! And very difficult for me to let go. I have been no contact, aside from still being Facebook and Instagram friends. Which I'm sure is a no-no. But like you said, I have to keep reminding myself of the torment I went through while we were together. And how she will never change. Thank you for letting me know that I should not warn any new person I might see her with. Because that is something that was on my mind. Love your videos, keep up the great work!
Change you gym location, block her on every social network site, no contact means exactly that, unless you have kids together just get rid of her from your life totally....sounds like you're still hanging in there with some sort of hope, you're better then that, get away from her and get on with you life, there are brighter days ahead....
Matthew Dowling no holding on is correct.. mentally.. number one step.. release
Chris Kendall stay strong and block all contact ..
So helpful-thank you. Six years later and he's still in and out of my life. I miss him but he devastates me every time.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with that! But it does my heart good to know the video offered a bit of comfort. Hugs and love!
my ex discarded me when I was going through a difficult time in my life although I stuck by him for years while went through a big life changing event and suffered deep depression.
After he discarded me he told me how special his new supply made him feel and she gave him a lot of attention. I thought wth??? I have you a roof over your head when you didn't have a home, I worked while you stayed in bed all day with depression ,bailed you out of jail bought you new clothes and so on....
wow, this vidw/o from Angie was so helpful as I have been questioning what I've done wrong and thinking his new supply must be pretty special... but In the beginning I too was
"Special."
Thank you, Angie from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you, Angie for your videos. They have been extremely helpful.
my ex girlfriend was a narcissist i dumped her weeks ago then she found a new supply i been acting like i m ok but im not the problem i have to see them everyday with there new supply and the new supply is my friend it sucks that this happend but I'm trying to recover Im taking it one step at a time i hope my mind will be at ease soon I'm on day 11 of no contact so wish me luck on my road to recovery
So true. Even family member narcs to this.. so happy they have a new friend/neighbor to abuse(use).Or your boss has a new receptionist to abuse (use). Its so pathetic.
Agreed. It sucks but it's so true. Hugs!
+eastbaysf Oh yes, and they will find their hero du jour, and compare you. "So and so has two cars, lots of property, blahblah [implication that you are a loser in contrast to them]." Had a family member pull this one on me constantly. The last girl I was compared to got all her money, property, and vehicles because of a divorce. She was a receptionist... but its like whatevers handy.
My Ex Narc was brutal. 2 years or Verbal, Mentally and Physical abuse . I am out of that relationship no more supply from me. I got tired of serving her, She treated me like a slave I was so blind. Used me for Financial gain. Bad Credit score. Embarrassed(belittled) me infront of her family.
Devour my character. She constantly talk about her Ex. says why out all my ex you talk about her. These little mind games. She is my ex I am sadden that I was played like an instrument. She always said You want to see me die and fail. She's always says she will win. watch me win. To my ex Narc I have won. left with my faith and my good heart. You didn't break me. Material things you keeping from me are just that. unfortunately you won't win in my eyes. you will always be a narristic con-artist.
ok, i've started to watch your videos about a month ago, when i left my narcissist, i was broken down to pieces but knew something was wrong with this man *besides the fact he's 50 and i'm 24, guess that was a red flag, anyway*, you have really helped me, i was feeling awesome, me again, knowing i could do so much better, honestly i felt stronger, til yesterday, i found out that he's dating a woman he met when we were together, she's 40, divorced, has a child, has all the things he always told me he hated (older women, not fit, and kids) i now feel replaceable, here i am mourning something someone that never existed, and there he is, feeling happy, i'm angry, how come he could find someone, i bet he's telling himself that he won cause i'm alone and he's not. aaaashhhh! and the worst of all ... i broke no contact, and ask for some of my stuff i left in his appartment, his answer was like nothing happened, i dont know why but it broke my heart, i know I AM BETTER and waaaay HAPPIER without that selfish liar, but i dont want to be angry anymore, but when i let go that anger i'm just sad looking at pictures, i seem so happy back then.
ps.thanks for your videos, the have really help me...
+Annelise Varas I feel your pain. And I'm so happy you found some comfort in my videos. hugs & love
Yes... I'm on day 53.. they have been together since 4th of July. Thanks to you, I wasn't floored.
A Blessing to be done with drama!
I'm singing in the shower again!! YAY! 😄
When he is flaunting his new supply it not stings, it stinks...lol...
Thank you for being a blessing. I have just realized and accepted I was with a narcissist. He is also my son's father. He moved around the corner from my house with a new woman. I am still in shock.
Hello, I went through a narcissist relationship and I’d like to share, it does also affects in gay peoples relations, I am a gay man. I do not know if other gay or lesbians had this issue. I left my narc boyfriend, more than 4 month ago. At the beginning when I left him, I felt relieved, later emotions began to take over me, questions about what had happen, etc. At first I could not understand what had happen. Bit by bit I could regain conscious, strength, and will to go on after discovering all these vids of therapy about narcs which had been AWESOME for me. I am still healing is not easy, day by day I feel better. All the vids I have watched describe my ex narc like a ring to the finger, sometimes I would have a blast because I would say to myself, ¨hey, that happened to me… yeah, he would do n say those things to me too¨… LOL!!!! I am healing slowly, my most difficult parts are, which I am gradually letting go of, is the anger and also I am in the process of forgiving him, his alcoholism behavior he hid from me; not to mention, the endless promises that were never coming, he told me, oh, and it was a triangular relationship, which at the beginning I was unaware of. This last one was the ¨cherry on the top¨. And he never apologize for ANYTHING, this is what gets me the most. I am better now, I get better at it every day. I am a man who is confidant, fill with joy n love in my heart. Despite his insults and screaming, I always knew the problem was him, I even invite him to go to therapy once, yes, bad idea to tell him such thing, u can imagine what he told me n how he told me. I never hated him. It was a total surprise for me the fact that he in reality is this way; thus, I never imagined there were people like this. I do feel compassion, I feel sorry for him. Today my eyes had been open thanks to these videos about narcissist people, understanding him, is understanding more of myself as well and the energy that brought us together in the first place. I never regret having him in my life, despite the after effects. If I wouldn’t had been out there living or trying to live a life with him, well, one never lives if one never tries n goes out into the world, is just a little simple try, in my opinion. I feel proud of myself for I left to him with my heart on my hands, seeking for a better life and I finally left him as a result of his behavior towards me. Yes it turned out this way, but I am happy that I did tried. I do not wish to carry this anger so it would rotten in me and I’d become bitter, NO, I do understand all of this bit by bit ¨baby steps¨. With these vids, the conclusion of and about him were a calculus dive brought from heaven, the process of solving a problem. These vids are a great relief.
Thanks for the great content! This is helping me understand my recent break from a narc and clearing up a lot of my uncomfortable and confusing emotions.
By the way, I think the quote about holding onto anger goes:
"Holding onto Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."
Its attributed to Buddha :).
Keep it up!
Pass....No worries , be Happy.
Thanks! I've not seen him in 8 months. I've seen pictures of his ex GFs and I'm the prettiest one he's ever had. he's 62 and I'm 54 and I look much younger. He had open heart a year ago march. of course I was there for 10 days babing him and being very loving, he wasn't out of the hospital yet and raged at me. i left him there and flew home. Told his brother what he did and can drive him home. 6 weeks he was begging me back. we even went to counseling, but he refused to go more than 3 times. lol Totally typical. I finally had enough. that was last September. I doubt he'll ever find another me. we were perfect together 90% but he was awful the other 10%. I told him he was an angry ugly old man. He's a creature of habit, so I don't go where he'd be at any given time. we were only together for 22 months. I gave myself a good year to heal. I'm glad I did that cause otherwise I might have went back to him. these utubes have been a big help. ♡ ♡ ♡
He definitely will not find another you and he deserves to be alone. Stay strong! I'm proud of you for going when you did - it's so hard sometimes but you did the right thing! don't forget that. Hugs and love ♡
+Kelly Weiss They will try to make us feel like we are the ones who will lose when we leave them, they will prey on our insecurities. The thing of it is though, as the narcissist gets older supply is harder and harder to come by, they inevitably end up extremely alone and depressed, perhaps suicidal. We however, move on to find real love. We set ourselves free from the N, the N just keeps playing a game of musical chairs until the music runs out for them someday inevitably. Hes already 62, what new piece of ass supply is he going to find in ten years? A normal feeling person can find love at any age, sure, but the N can't find what *they* are looking for as time goes on. It might be a little mean of me but I do take solace in this after what they have done to me.
Good for you! Sounds like my own story! I'm still healing
You are an expert, So glad to know your sharing your clear sound counsel and truthful insights. Beautiful help your giving people.
MYy ex-narc is now with one of my coworkers. she got with him while we were still together and right after we broke up she moved in with him. what makes the whole situation worse is that he is also roommates with two other people I work with, one of which is my boss. Almost immediately after she moved in with them they all turned on me. Now going to work I feel like i am being bullied by her all over again, and she is not even there. I have heard ( not because i wanted to, its just kinda a small workplace) that she is starting the same cycle over again with him. I want to warn him before he does something stupid like get her pregnant. i know that he won't listen to me. I wish i could move on, i really do. It is just so hard when it is in your face day in and day out. I was talking with someone the other day that my ex and I used to know, and she brought up a subject that I had only ever told to my ex. It is a very hard subject for me to deal with and not something that I would like everyone to know about. Now everyone in my very small community knows. I feel like she want me to be completely alone. She has made it very hard for me to meet new people because I don't know what of my dirty laundry that I had trusted her with she has spread around. I am almost afraid to talk to people now. It seem like everyone is taking her side and I am the only one that has ever seen behind the mask.
after being wirh a narc for so long.. i realize that they liken me in the same way i liked my new bike i had as a kid. i liked how it rode nice, it was the coolest looking on the block, and got me all the attention from the cool kids.. but although i liked it, i left it outside in the rain, to rust, and forgot all about it, especially when i saw my friends cool newer bike! and when it got old, it didnt ride as nice, so i gave it away.. but wheni saw my friend riding it around all fixed up, i wanted it bad. but i actually never cared about it, lol i mean after all it was just an object! and theres always a newer better model out there.
A few times I ran into my ex with new supplies. She always would immediately hold hands with him or once kiss him to make sure I know. So in each instance I reacted: I approached, introduced myself, told him "You really for lucky, she's a great woman, unfortunately, I messed up." Oh you would see her smirking, she just got a lot of supply, and him being confused, because she's of course been smear campaigning. In each instance she'd reach out right after, asking what that was about, if I really felt like she was a great women and that I messed up with her and so on. Funny. So that's all the validation I needed to know it's just a source of supply and not love.
KF5OBS, oh wow the look on her face though must have been priceless though after you said that. You gotta feel bad for that guy though as he doesn't have a clue (probably yet) what he is dealing with. I hope you are doing well. Hugs.
Thank you. This turned my day around.
+dkbinion You made my heart sing just now. Thank you. Knowing I could do that for even one person is the fuel to my fire. Thank you again.
Y live with this woman 9 years ygive her every thing 3 months later yfine out she was seeing 2 other guys she moved Whit aut saind anything left me in the cold took my money Ben ,,3 months no contact
Such excellent advice!
thank you! ♡♡♡♡
Narcissist Free -almost yes. This was most helpful in this exact moment in my life. I feel like Angie knows exactly what I'm going thru lol. And she does! So glad I researched how the ex was acting and up popped narcissistic abuse an I went to you tube n typed In that n found these videos by Angie. I feel like the Universe is really looking out for my well being. Yay
The one I recently left was trying to hold another girl on the side while begging me to get back with him. He actually said, what's it gonna take to break you and make you be with me? He was trying to manipulate me and hurt me so I'd go back to him. That can't be love. He told me he was happy to hurt me because I was such a horrible person and abused him for years. He deflected everything onto me.
I have talked with the new supply.. she is experiencing the same.. but she is not yet tired. So the game continues. We both love him :(
Thanks for this amazing video. I broke up with my narcissistic ex a year ago after almost 3 years of being together. He always blamed me for everything and lied to me, and even used to shout at me in public. I recently came to know he's dating another girl. My ex is a classmate and the new girl is a college junior. There's no way I can avoid seeing them. It breaks me to see how happy he is. It's been a year since I broke up and I'm still not completely over him.
you know - my narc got remarried & because of finances we had to live upstairs downstairs in the same house! for 4 years. I now have the home 100% & am trying to get a grip on the finances. Anyways, i realized that I was the best he will ever have- . All his mean nasty ways have definitely caught up with him. I remember when we first parted, I thought I would die! I didn't. I took antidepressants, got back to school, & to the gym. I think now that he is out of the home & gone from my kids life I am in phase 2 of rebuilding.
That is amazing and I am thrilled that you're rebuilding and that he's finally out of there - I don't know how you made it through all of that but I'll tell you what - I really, really appreciate that you shared this here. If you can get through that awful experience, it has to offer hope to so many other survivors! Hugs and love to yo, my friend!
Angie Atkinson
well I had God, a few BFF's, my mom( who lives with me) , & my 5 kids!! I did not realize he was like narcissistic/ psychotic until 2 years ago when I started researching it online. yep.
I want to say though, Thank You sooooo much for your work making all these vids! They are very helpful to many. 🌹
my narcissist is persuing a new supply and im not even moved out yet...it is so painful to be going through a breakup and having him noy even seeming to care and he cant wait to replace me. i really want to warn this poor girl but if he talked about me to her like he did about his ex to me i dont know that she would even listen. i dont know how to deal with knowing that hes going behind my back and feeling so terrible and worthless
This has been crushing for me! Knew him for 50 years. Since we were 16, married 46 years. Now I’m seeing him all over FB because SHE has 16 of my mutual friends. I blocked him a long time ago but now I blocked her. But I saw what I saw and I am crushed!
I am so sorry, you did the right thing but that does hurt a lot! Just know narcs do not treat anyone better!
Tks Angie! I am 100% cured. I didn't care when my child said: " Dad is committing adultery " I had to explain to him that mum Divorced him and he can do whatever he wants. Since my son is 19 I further told him :" He was abusive and dislawy through the marriage!" I am happy and will not be anyone's door Matt ever again!
Thank you for sharing this !!! I finally broke free after an off and on relationship with my ex ! I definitely am done ✅ blocked & deleted & moving forward!!!! Lesson learned !!!
Hugs, my pleasure and good for you Michelle
Angie would love love to join you and your group !
I saw two Narcissistic Ex Partners of mine today. Whatever was going on in my head I didn't show it outwardly. One I saw at a distance and didn't approach. The other knew I was there, and didn't approach me or I approached him. I kept my head held up high and behaved with dignity. That matters the most. I'll sort the jumbled mess of things in my head on my own. 🍒
Hugs, you sounded like you handled that well, good for you.
I am so THANKFUL that I LEFT THE NARCISSIST THAT I WAS WITH!!! I LEFT WHEN I SAW A TEXT MESSAGE ON HIS PHONE FROM HIS NEW SUPPLY!!! I AM HAPPIER DUE TO I HAVE MOVED ON, 6 MONTHS GONE, HAVE A NEW FRIEND WHO IS NOT A NARCISSIST, A NORMAL PERSON WHO TREATS ME SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE NARCISSIST EVER DID...
Hugs, good for you and I am so happy for you!
My NARC was making out with his "down grade" in his car at his job. Then said it was because he was not taking his meds for his head injury. It went on for 6mos or more he "can't remember" lol
Oh I'll bet!! How incredibly frustrating that must have been!! I'm so sorry.
Shop where you know your EX doesn't.........................
my ex was a narcissist I'm 6 months pregnant with his child and he left me a week after jail to be with my best friend of 10 years. I have a hard time letting go and moving on. I'm just glad he isn't abusing me and hitting me while pregnant anymore. it's just unfortunate that my son won't have a father :(
Thank you for helping me get this rough patch. I feel everything you said. I have to move on.
Hi. Your videos are helpful. I was married to a man who love bombed me well over a decade and some years ago. Somehow I became his slave. He screamed, was irrational and abusive mentally and emotionally, occasionally physically. He made us move out of our home and down to Orange County, then he rented it out. He went and stayed with his ex-wife because he said she was behaving crazy and the kids were scared. He then brainwashed me into thinking we had to get divorced for business reasons. Basically, he had opened up some businesses doing what they were doing at his job. He then made me the presidents of the companies. I didn't get any ownership or shares. Nobody in their right mind would do this but I really believed him. I was also in love with him. My sister got divorced and he started an affair with her, in which I later find out he was badmouthing me. He also started chasing my daughter, to whom he had been stepfather since elementary school. I went into the mental hospital when I found out. He now became my boss and I had no self esteem and was afraid I couldn't get a job. He had sent his ex wife off to her home country and now I was home schooling his children and taking care of them. He made me place an add for a nanny/ maid. He chose a very sexy looking Moroccan. She dressed inappropriately and his daughters didn't like her. He told me he kicked her out. For about a year he banned me from the house (which I owned) and was fighting with me constantly. Then he tells me that he sent the kids back with their mom and hte maid was kicked out. He said he was staying with a cousin. He started romancing me. He made me huge promises. He apologized for everything. He said he wanted to go to counseling. After a year of this, and long supposedly healing conversations and sex -- the guy goes overseas for a couple of months to deal with business. These months turn into 7 months. He told me he is working around the clock and feels lonely, has no sex and is working in the hot desert. His dad was sick and he said all the money was spent on hospitals and airfare. His dad died and he barely spoke to me after that which was weird because he always needed me. Now, about two months before he left for overseas, the nanny maid started calling me on Whatsapp from a number I'd never seen before and hanging up when he was with me. He swore to me that he hadn't seen or heard from her and would laugh and say, "why are you so jealous of that girl." Well, I was sitting waiting to be chosen for jury duty on November 29th and I get a friend suggestion from a profile with their photo, wrapped arm in arm and smiling. He looked like he was in absolute ecstasy. They are married and living overseas!!!! In the meantime, he was having me work my ass off in his businesses and manipulating me against people. Now, he claims he never was coming back to me (even though he said it repeatedly and was sleeping with me). He had even told me we were going to buy a house and move back in together. He says he hates me now and will never stop hating me. I did the unthinkable with a narcissist. I made a Facebook page, put our family photos and friended all of her friends and family I could find. Now he says I destroyed him. I think sent him 1000 evil emails and blew up his office phone. I have been crazy and crying in bed for a month. Now I have to get up and go on. His new supply is 16 years younger and you know what he told me, "I'm turning 50. Life is short. Just let me have this." How about he told me and didn't lie to me, and come chasing back after me. This is his response to that question, "It was for financial stability." He just doesn't care. I wasted my life with him. He wasn't ever sorry about my sister or my daughter. He doesn't really want to go to counseling with my daughter or fix anything with her. And, something is wrong with me because I should care more about what he did to my daughter (she was 17/18) and not be suffering over the new supply. I feel like I have no identity without him and I'm ashamed that she is so much younger and makes him happy but i never could.
I am so sorry you're going through this. I am responding in my next video.
OMG. I wrote a book in my comment. I'm sorry. I was a mess... okay, I still am. Thank you.
This is all true and great information...all that she is saying has happen to me , unfortunately I heard this after and already made the mistakes she has stated not to do , but life goes on and people make mistakes can't beat myself up , Now going to try to move forward and keep in mind this Video as reference over and over in my head as a reminder, even if I have to listen to this 100 times. Thanks For The Information, Great Video , I am glad this exist in this time and age , without it we who has suffered this abuse would had stayed in the dark and probably never recovered.
"My" narc left me for a good friend I had. My story is lengthy. Bottom line, I caught on. He discarded me 2 months ago when everything blew up. I have not contacted him and neither has he.
Odd. Fortunately in my case I realized swiftly and clearly that I never loved this person (it sounds harsh but you really can't, there's nothing there to love), so I never felt jealousy. I was also not in contact because I got a restraining order and had to avoid him because he was threatening to kill me (he bought a gun for that purpose and was looking for me) ect.
What did bother me is that he quickly got a girl I knew to cheat on her boyfriend with him and of course to eventually come be with him instead. She had just turned 18 and was even more meek, mild, and manipulable than I ever was. I don't see this person ever waking up or escaping like I eventually did. It's a scary and eerie feeling that he went for an obviously weaker target for his second round. That bothers me, as well as his quick snap back to being charming and overly nice in his attempts to convince the community he was innocent of everything, which somehow worked.
For me it was the injustice of the situation, basically nobody believing me (because of how charming and sweet he sounded when explaining what "really" happened), and then people kinda swooning over his new relationship like it's the sweetest thing, when I know the spooky reason for exactly why he targeted her.
Sorry for the long post, made me feel better. Truly grateful for anyone who gave it a read. :)
im so happy to hear this. At this point i have maintained my big heart and am sharing it with others who make me happy also. Before the narcist only took and never gave leaving me drained, but like a drug i kept coming back. After coaching myself to understand the narcist will never love me because he doesnt love himself, i began to pray for him. the illusion unveiled amd this awesome perfect smart man was this insecure little boy all along. Thats the reality that allowed me to forgive.
As of today, i rekindled the idea of me being happy with another man. Truth is i am. Im still guarded with my heart. Overall, if i see my ex narcist with a new woman i only lol! My ex and i both know shes a victim. Thats all that i need to no longer mourn the narcist.
I absolutely love your whole attitude!! Good for you! Hugs and love
When I saw my Narcs new supply I thought that he is going to really miss me and, I feel sorry for her. When he began to Hoover back to me, I decided to take him back with the idea of examining and analyzing him. I needed to see if he was sincere. after about 7 months I realized that he had not changed. He did apologize which is what I felt that I needed. I eventually approached his new supply and told her to tell him to stop calling me and coming by my place. I should not have done that but she was talking so much crap that I was provoked. I then texted him and said that I was done! I have not heard back from him in two months. For some reason I feel as if I have closure. I needed to see for myself that his apology meant nothing. I feel so free and happy right now that I see him for who he really is and I am out of this horrible relationship. I do feel sorry for the new supply, it is just a matter of time for her!
The new supply is already in the devaluation stage. He’s accusing her of not loving him which is the same crap he put me through. She is going have it worse than I did because she has kids & I don’t. My ex narc hates kids. He already tried to come back to me once while they were together but I wasn’t having it. I actually feel bad for her because she has kids & she doesn’t need that extra stress in her life. But it’s not my job to warn her, she will have to find out to hard way. Even if I did try to warn her my ex would take that as a sign that I’m still in love him so I have to avoid that at all costs!
What happened? Did they stay together?
This is healthy, and I thank you. The video about revenge and getting back..and one upping on them..not so much.
Yes I saw it! And it was difficult to watch. I did all the things you talk about. Compared myself, questioned everything it came back to me being honest about the reality of who he was! But it's really hard to watch! I haven't seen him in 3 years! That makes it so much better! Out of sight out of mind!
I feel your pain!! Hugs and love to you ♡
+sabrina bartlett My worst ex N, my first, is likely also a psychopath. He relished making me compare myself. He added me back to facebook years after we broke up, claiming he'd gotten therapy, had matured, changed. Last time I made that mistake of letting him have access to my social networking again. He posted his new 19!!! year old gf, then messaged me saying "see something you don't like?" This is after he really showed his ass and told me that one of my male friends was trying to fuck me (said friend lives several states away with his gf lol)... They sure are a piece of work.
+Angie Atkinson thank you!
my narcissist of 8 years left me for a someone half our age. It's been two months and I'm ready to head to inpatient treatment. I obsess to the point I can't live my life. No meds or therapy has helped yet.
Wendy, I'm so sorry! I'd like to invite you to join my private online support group - it's totally free. Check it out here: queenbeeing.com/span
Wendy, 2months is still too fresh. I actually did commit myself to inpatient but the psychiatrist deemed that I shouldn't be there, and offered antidepressants. I never took it.
I was with my ex narc for 8 years as well. We had a child, got married and we moved across the country because there were too many people that thought I was being used. Especially my family. I'm now alone with a 6 year old boy to raise, and no family support.
I found out about this 6 months ago. Officially divorced 1 month ago, and 3 days ago on my sons birthday, he remarried. He didn't even call my son to wish him happy birthday.
With all of that being said, I will like you to know that it gets better. The pain is still there but at a 2 on a scale of 1-10. Whereas, at 2 months it was at 9. I've sought hypnotherapy to discover WHY I had this magnetic attraction and it has helped. It DOES get better. give it time, while making every attempt to focus on you, your spirituality and your health.
@@AngieAtkinson Can I join too?
As the final discard was happening she had her new supply step in and ask me to leave. She started yelling at me so loud with all sorts of narcissistic rage and the new supply simply stated "I'm speaking", she morphed back into the person I met three years earlier simply stopping her screaming and furthermore in a calm voice apologizes to the new supply. My mind was blown. I haven't seen that behavior in years and have received nothing but gaslighting, manipulative and condescending digs, and put downs for the longest time. Everything I did was my fault everything she did was my fault... It's a very surreal moment if and when it does occur.
Thank you once again for being here to walk me through this. I'm on day 35 I found out he has a new girlfriend, he been talking to her since May... She even resembles me.. I'm sitting here glued to you tube.. he has been calling and texting me... No I have not responded.... She is the shift I felt..... All the pieces to this crazy puzzle are sitting together. Namaste... ((Hug))
thanks for your video just ended a monthe ago whit my boyfriend coud not stand it anymore what is left of me is a wounded little bird ,but im working hard one myself to be the strong woman i always was, oh and all his emails he send me now are realy sweet now i know wy!! because of your video! thanks again!!
So happy it was helpful for you Mandy! Hugs and love ♡♡◇
hugs and love for you too!!
A little over a year ago was when I escaped my last relationship with a narcissist. He was pretty good at keeping his N on the dl but he would have these moments where he would lose it and shreik insults or just say something ugly, with this gross look on his face that I have come to call the sliming face, where they will look at you really mean, and force a look of disgust to deliver it too, like "ewww you're so [this or that -- whatevers convenient or a nerve they have discovered at some point to hit later when the time is right]..."
He would have a shitfit and shreik and then go back to "normal" (his mask of sanity). I asked him a lot of questions and came up with a lot of contradictions and had to piece things together for myself, as the truth was there lying around in pieces just rearranged in order to make his exs look bad and him look like a saint -- quite the opposite of the truth. I caught a glimpse of the future with him after learning a lot about his exs and his habits. What he does is get a new gf (and he cannot be alone!! so he always gets a new one immediately and we are about as special as a house plant to him) then eventually he will get bored of her and start spending all his time in video games and looking at porn, leaving her cold and lonely, wondering where all the attention and complements have gone.
The last straw for me were the barrage of attacks on my personal appearance. I don't like to say things like this but to put it in his own language to so speak, because he is very superficial and wholly buys into the television reality of culture, I am fathoms more conventionally attractive than he is (he is abdominally obese, doesn't even have a nice face, he just pretended we had soooooo much in common and I don't care about looks anyway). And I get complements and looks a lot, people tell me I'm beautiful, sexy, etc... So it floored me that this ugly warthog could casually insult my appearance like I wasn't enough for someone who looks like him.
I recognized it for what it was at some point though, narcissistic abuse/negging/they want to make you feel horrible so you won't think you can go find anyone better. He even tried to tell me "no man in the world is going to be happy with your appearance" even though every time we were out, someone would stare at me and check me out and make him feel insecure over it.
So, I left. And he had to have been on a dating site while he was "with" me because days later he brags about a date, then posts on his tumblr about how he found a new gf. He bragged about how she was willing to let him play his pedophile role playing games in the bedroom, pretending hes her father, and shes a young female child (something that I refused to do).
The thing is though, he could have even made all of that up and hasn't found anyone to this very day (Boston, people are picky, and he is below average, slummy, obese..)
The moral of my story, WHO KNOWS!! Lol... they are so full of shit and lies that unless you see it with your own eyes you have no idea what they're getting up to, and you will never know what they're really thinking until you spot the patterns for yourself.
+athanaisdc I feel you on so many levels. All we can do is try to increase awareness. Thank you so much for sharing your story here - you just contributed to that effort. You never know who you could help - you could even literally save someone's life that way. Hugs and love to you.
+Angie Atkinson Thank you, and I love your insights! I enjoy how the youtube comments section on these videos can turn into a sort of narcissist's ex support group. There are stages people go through and sometimes sharing an experience, or nugget of wisdom gleaned through those experiences can really help someone whos wanting to leave their N, or someone who has left but is still in that "wait what the heck just happened to me" disillusioned phase. You never know what tidbit of information we share might really make it click for someone so they can make peace with it and put it away. For me personally, its all about understanding the situation that helps me get on the path to recovery, and I feel like its even therapeutic sharing with others, perhaps knowing something good came out of my past, now I can help others. : )
+athanaisdc Completely agree with you. It's an amazing feeling when you have validation that these things are/were really happening to you, and not just a figment of your imagination.
+guenhywar2 yes!
+athanaisdc Sounds like we (and probably everyone else) has almost a cookie cutter version of the N. Everything from the shrieking, the glaring, the random under-handed insults, and the inability to be alone. I'm talking about an almost 30 yr old man-boy who never truly lived independently on his own with his own responsibilities. He was in the military and even there he wasn't "technically" responsible for himself.
When he was buying his house, he was single-ish but he was looking for the person who would take care of him and the house. He found her and within six weeks of meeting her he was having her move in. Then...he started his first semester at the university...and I kid you not...two weeks later he had the first girl kicked out (and I mean viciously just told her to get out) and started the process of moving the current one in. LITERALLY...kicked the one out on Friday and had the "lunch date" with the current one set up for the following Monday.
It's strange when you get to witness these things and then actually see where they happened to you during the "relationship". You also realize how much work they put in at keeping their illusion alive. BTW folks...if someone tells you that they made it through the interview process of a police department, but was told no...AND to not to bother to reapply--count that as a red flag. If they also happen to fail the personality test to adopt a dog...consider that a runaway moment. He ended up going to another shelter and managed to adopt a really sweet pup, but mostly it was to give new girl the reason to stay I think. Up until then, he's only had a cat (that his parents took care of).
There are so many obvious signs that you see once you are no longer enthralled by these fake humans. He's so good at "acting" human that I think he could win an Oscar for his performances sometimes.
Hi Angie ~ Thank you for this enlightening video. "Yes," as a matter of fact I am currently seeing my narcissistic husband of six years ( soon to be ex ) move on to a new narcissistic supply.
He will be 70 this year, she turned 21. She is absolutely physically beautiful and very intelligent. I know her well because she is my biological granddaughter! Do I think it's physical? No, not yet, she's being groomed. This documentable.
While I love and feel for my granddaughter, who works part-time as a genuine Hooters girl, I'm beginning to feel that in charm and temperament, the two be well matched?
There's his side and my side, but, it's such a big relief to know there's the objective and clear reality of what narcissistic behavior looks like and its usual outcomes.
Thank you for that reality and a beautiful path to healing. Be well, and thanks again.
Vi Watson
No one everyone ever warned me. I did warn the new girl. But you right he said i was crazy and she said im suppose to think my husband is a monster