Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar

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  • Опубліковано 24 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 21 тис.

  • @Smackchow
    @Smackchow 4 роки тому +55874

    This kid isn't acting. And he's out there, right now, growing stronger.

    • @frog8779
      @frog8779 3 роки тому +256

      Oh no, oh no no no

    • @killmeorudie1
      @killmeorudie1 3 роки тому +653

      Rumor has it later in life he heroically killed 2 rioters in Kenosha lol

    • @Smackchow
      @Smackchow 3 роки тому +143

      @@killmeorudie1 lol, damn man. that was brutal

    • @letsgetfluffy3138
      @letsgetfluffy3138 3 роки тому +43

      Why would he be acting?

    • @tobascogladiomatteo4843
      @tobascogladiomatteo4843 3 роки тому +18

      @@frog8779
      Oh yesss 😈

  • @andrewfarren3028
    @andrewfarren3028 8 років тому +34944

    Imagine how Home Alone would've been with this kid?

    • @MrDragonbreathr
      @MrDragonbreathr 8 років тому +424

      LMAOOOO

    • @-king-1230
      @-king-1230 8 років тому +200

      DED

    • @aa-yt7wo
      @aa-yt7wo 7 років тому +548

      Shorter

    • @78Vertigo
      @78Vertigo 7 років тому +131

      Andrew Farren At one point Kevin in Home Alone uses like a bee bee gun, this kid wouldn't

    • @Shinyarc
      @Shinyarc 6 років тому +31

      Andrew Farren Rated R

  • @Awprtunist
    @Awprtunist 2 роки тому +19818

    “It was Lucas laughing that woke me up”
    Absolutely put me in tears

    • @francargeric1
      @francargeric1 2 роки тому +401

      8 shots with a rifle: Sleeps
      Lucas lauging: Wait a minute...!

    • @WingsOfAgeOfConsent
      @WingsOfAgeOfConsent 2 роки тому +24

      That's not even funny. The kids acting was funny. Simpleton.

    • @Fedico7000
      @Fedico7000 2 роки тому +116

      @@WingsOfAgeOfConsent
      🤓🤨

    • @WingsOfAgeOfConsent
      @WingsOfAgeOfConsent 2 роки тому +6

      @@Fedico7000 not here to conversate man

    • @plugoneone
      @plugoneone 2 роки тому +105

      @@WingsOfAgeOfConsent Obviously not your strong point 💀

  • @scurvyfigs
    @scurvyfigs Рік тому +6711

    this whole segment is hilarious but the "worlds oldest attractive woman celebrates 48th birthday" at the end hit me square in the jaw LMFAO

    • @alien.707
      @alien.707 Рік тому +50

      ME TOOOO

    • @poppy-jb3st
      @poppy-jb3st Рік тому +67

      BROOO I'M SO GLAD THAT SOMEONE MENTIONED THAT. fr had me on the floor

    • @andrewrp84
      @andrewrp84 Рік тому +67

      The part before that………. “Your pet might be a CIA mole”

    • @rjspiteri5758
      @rjspiteri5758 Рік тому +15

      Helen Mirren doesn't exist?

    • @grugruu
      @grugruu Рік тому

      Underrated

  • @BigMastah79
    @BigMastah79 5 років тому +11830

    I love how she says “But you didn’t listen to him, did you?” In such an adoring voice lmao

  • @notawamen2311
    @notawamen2311 3 роки тому +22295

    "He started crying so I shot him in the back,"
    "It was Lucas laughing that woke me up,"
    *damn*

    • @zvezdan956
      @zvezdan956 3 роки тому +98

      wow original and funny comment!

    • @notawamen2311
      @notawamen2311 3 роки тому +249

      @@zvezdan956 I didn’t even see other comments like this

    • @SupremeCaptainBlaze
      @SupremeCaptainBlaze 3 роки тому +87

      @@notawamen2311 no its the comment of someone quoting something from the video with no added commentary

    • @machninety7334
      @machninety7334 3 роки тому +250

      Sometimes the content sells itself and the commenter only intends to highlight parts they feel stood out. Nothing wrong with that. Pretty sure everyone with an education used a highlighter before.

    • @zvezdan956
      @zvezdan956 3 роки тому +19

      @@machninety7334 u dont use a highlighter in school to get likes

  • @spencergraham-thille9896
    @spencergraham-thille9896 5 років тому +23076

    I like how they treat normal guests like they're weird and treat weird guests like they're normal. 😂

    • @iamdoktah
      @iamdoktah 5 років тому +127

      That's new for ya

    • @coolgoyim1133
      @coolgoyim1133 5 років тому +485

      What are you talking about, that's what normal kids born from demonic rituals do this days, nothing out of the norm there

    • @Acore-ly9qx
      @Acore-ly9qx 5 років тому +98

      the lil kid said "i love the blood" the kid is a fucking psychopath😂

    • @Acore-ly9qx
      @Acore-ly9qx 5 років тому +16

      @A K ik

    • @Acore-ly9qx
      @Acore-ly9qx 5 років тому +14

      @A K did i say i was being serious?🤣

  • @linkosaur4480
    @linkosaur4480 26 днів тому +39

    It’s been 15 years. He is still out there

  • @sppsports2449
    @sppsports2449 3 роки тому +8210

    I know everyone is talking about the kid's acting, but the dad's acting is cracking me up. He's so proud lol.

    • @allonifrah3465
      @allonifrah3465 3 роки тому +210

      I love how they begin more subtly, making it a wierd but at that point still somewhat credible story and then they gradually get wilder and more outrages, until at some point all doubt of wether this could be real or gone. The strange thing is that it is hard to determine where in this story that point is.

    • @Idk51243
      @Idk51243 2 роки тому +12

      I got 100th like

    • @garylock2012
      @garylock2012 2 роки тому +21

      That’s not difficult, all Americans are like that for real, so over enthusiastic about any everything they talk about

    • @dafyddil
      @dafyddil 2 роки тому +55

      @@garylock2012 "All Americans" ok buddy

    • @sunny71169
      @sunny71169 2 роки тому

      Acting? What makes you think he was acting? Kid's a psycho.

  • @jaylenbarbieri2239
    @jaylenbarbieri2239 3 роки тому +38870

    I feel so bad for like a sweet old lady who stumbles upon this and thinks it’s real 😭

    • @oogway73
      @oogway73 3 роки тому +128

      @@IambiguousSegment what is rittenhouse?

    • @uglyguy2778
      @uglyguy2778 3 роки тому +245

      Thank god this is fake

    • @SinglerainbowHD
      @SinglerainbowHD 3 роки тому +266

      @@IambiguousSegment To compare this kid to Rittenhouse is laughable, you delusional leftist.

    • @rubyhillman1859
      @rubyhillman1859 3 роки тому +1611

      @@IambiguousSegment This is absolutely nothing like Rittenhouse bro

    • @croc_moat2327
      @croc_moat2327 3 роки тому +46

      Omg I thought about that too lol

  • @Stanified
    @Stanified 5 років тому +16981

    Diary of a Wimpy kid deleted scene

    • @ferus5583
      @ferus5583 5 років тому +30

      XDDD

    • @doc-xo7iy
      @doc-xo7iy 5 років тому +90

      I saw a missing poster for Fregley

    • @ploopy2782
      @ploopy2782 5 років тому +46

      Stanified He DOES look like manny omg

    • @root-beer
      @root-beer 5 років тому +22

      the last stand

    • @rbanerjee605
      @rbanerjee605 5 років тому +6

      Still better than the new film.

  • @KazukiP
    @KazukiP 4 роки тому +3558

    The child actors they get for The Onion are elite

    • @Thunder-jf1ri
      @Thunder-jf1ri 3 роки тому +9

      @Queue Kumber oh shii

    • @icebear326
      @icebear326 3 роки тому +173

      Tbh all of their actors are really good. Seriously where do they keep finding these people and how come they aren't on TV right now?

    • @bulldozer8950
      @bulldozer8950 3 роки тому +99

      Wdym actors. This isn’t fake, it’s a completely real news show after all, trusted by millions to deliver the facts when no one else will!
      /s

    • @joebrogan7858
      @joebrogan7858 3 роки тому +8

      @@bulldozer8950 yes it is. I trust this more than anything else

    • @martind349
      @martind349 3 роки тому

      Hello Travis

  • @Cuyut
    @Cuyut 4 роки тому +17367

    All these actors deserve so much more recognition. They breathe such personality into these small roles, it’s incredible how they make these skits come to life!

    • @chad4921
      @chad4921 3 роки тому +347

      people keep talking about "actors"
      are you guys commenting on the right videos? this is a news channel jesus christ

    • @chazchillings3019
      @chazchillings3019 3 роки тому +37

      I was just thinking how much of a darling is the female host. She gets it down to the t

    • @Joeysaladslover
      @Joeysaladslover 3 роки тому +15

      @@chad4921 😐

    • @melon7811
      @melon7811 3 роки тому +8

      I made your comment 999 uwu

    • @Bandit-oy1yz
      @Bandit-oy1yz 3 роки тому +13

      @@henryfink5348 Today now is a parody show

  • @NathanielSnider1017
    @NathanielSnider1017 4 роки тому +11137

    home alone 6
    a short film

  • @torturapesnorrarape
    @torturapesnorrarape Рік тому +738

    my son also shot a burglar just last week, he was 63 and screaming all kinds of crazy stuff like
    ''where am I?'' and ''Can you help me get home?'', I've never been more proud!

    • @TheBfutgreg
      @TheBfutgreg 7 місяців тому +21

      Damn u old

    • @EDP445
      @EDP445 7 місяців тому +7

      @@TheBfutgreg lmao

    • @ProPandaPlays
      @ProPandaPlays 5 місяців тому

      @@TheBfutgreg learn to read kid he said the other person was 63 LOL kids are so dumb

    • @Helo_rides_for_commies
      @Helo_rides_for_commies 2 місяці тому

      @@TheBfutgreg The burglar is 63, asshole

    • @zucchinikindaslayed
      @zucchinikindaslayed 21 день тому

      lol y'all funny

  • @GurenKaishoshiki
    @GurenKaishoshiki 3 роки тому +10167

    I want an R-rated, horror-version of Home Alone staring this kid

    • @spacejesus6581
      @spacejesus6581 3 роки тому +68

      There was a Christmas horror movie called I think "better watch out" where the kid is a psychopath

    • @supersnowball-zt2ti
      @supersnowball-zt2ti 3 роки тому +174

      This should be the new home alone,instead of the cringefest there putting out there now!

    • @brandyraccoon1473
      @brandyraccoon1473 3 роки тому +2

      You're welcome: ua-cam.com/video/ZgLqxSPIhR0/v-deo.html

    • @vaulthunter7777
      @vaulthunter7777 3 роки тому +5

      Go check out Corridor Digital they've made Rated R Home Alone

    • @MLGB0Yz
      @MLGB0Yz 3 роки тому +24

      Starring*

  • @Legomax18
    @Legomax18 5 років тому +2837

    NOT the screaming, NOT the GUNSHOTS, but it was the LAUGHING that woke Mr. Armitage up. This is comedy genius.

    • @jesusisthetruth4497
      @jesusisthetruth4497 5 років тому +2

      Legomax18 oop

    • @porkostar1
      @porkostar1 5 років тому +2

      Issues 😳

    • @womblowbobble1139
      @womblowbobble1139 5 років тому +7

      Legomax18 wait this isn’t real?

    • @superspoon6265
      @superspoon6265 5 років тому +9

      @@womblowbobble1139 nope, this is the onion so everything is satire

    • @mrshamf3484
      @mrshamf3484 5 років тому +8

      @@porkostar1 did you actually think this was real?

  • @peanuts3433
    @peanuts3433 4 роки тому +1749

    “Six of burglar’s teeth were found inside his own stomach”
    That is horrific

    • @pikaboy70
      @pikaboy70 4 роки тому +96

      He only got six? Those are rookie numbers, I can do better.

    • @Zyrdalf
      @Zyrdalf 4 роки тому +52

      Nah, see, only rookies go for the stomach. If you a pro you can get them to come out the butt. We call it shitin teeth. Around here we get together and see who can get the most teeth out. We been running out of neighbors for recent though.

    • @calviniscool
      @calviniscool 4 роки тому +9

      Lol with the headline "Daily Inspiration"

    • @notawamen2311
      @notawamen2311 3 роки тому +1

      @@pikaboy70 LMAORUIFHERUIFGHE

    • @AEBigale
      @AEBigale 3 роки тому +1

      This kid is a hero

  • @LURLINE_
    @LURLINE_ 9 місяців тому +95

    fun fact: that kid grew up to be Christian Bale

  • @whade62000
    @whade62000 3 роки тому +7960

    “Your pet may be a CIA mole”
    Nah he’s a platypus. They don’t do much.

  • @Ant3618_
    @Ant3618_ 2 роки тому +5394

    He is now 20 years old, he will never forget this in his life.

    • @eileencarr2895
      @eileencarr2895 2 роки тому +79

      Anndddd... he got sentenced life for Massacring a preschool

    • @CutTheVioletWire
      @CutTheVioletWire 2 роки тому +12

      @@eileencarr2895 you know you can edit UA-cam comments right?

    • @eileencarr2895
      @eileencarr2895 2 роки тому +11

      @@CutTheVioletWire yea just forgot lol

    • @thnx
      @thnx 2 роки тому +11

      8 + 14 = 22

    • @Zaire82
      @Zaire82 2 роки тому +17

      @@thnx
      That's right, cool maths.
      He'd be 21 though.

  • @Harry-tj6bl
    @Harry-tj6bl 6 років тому +3193

    ‘It was Lucas laughing that woke me up, I had never heard the kid laugh so much’ 😂😂

    • @kandie3127
      @kandie3127 5 років тому +28

      I literally was right at that part and laughing as I found your comment. Perfect haha

    • @jesusisthetruth4497
      @jesusisthetruth4497 5 років тому +3

      Harry oo

    • @macthemaster7288
      @macthemaster7288 5 років тому

      @@MiniM69 and don't break a sweat doing it

    • @Davidscomix
      @Davidscomix 5 років тому

      @@MiniM69 if he fail the first 9 week test he shooting it up the very next day

  • @filipe7360
    @filipe7360 Рік тому +150

    Unirocally one of the best acting i've seen from a kid

  • @sampletext9898
    @sampletext9898 3 роки тому +4547

    All I’m saying is that they never actually caught the zodiac killer

    • @vempor129
      @vempor129 3 роки тому +75

      oh shit...

    • @900bpm
      @900bpm 3 роки тому +43

      LMAO NOOO

    • @armandnduwamungu41
      @armandnduwamungu41 3 роки тому +27

      Hold on.....

    • @NAME-yg8sl
      @NAME-yg8sl 3 роки тому +9

      Fair point

    • @mason11198
      @mason11198 3 роки тому +33

      Onion comments are always almost just as good as the video what the hell

  • @deadchat6509
    @deadchat6509 4 роки тому +6261

    The onion is my favourite source for news it’s reliable and speaks the truth

    • @Cat-dm1zs
      @Cat-dm1zs 4 роки тому +132

      me too it's so honest and it's just overall real

    • @ryangustin4752
      @ryangustin4752 4 роки тому +113

      They're never afraid of the facts, and they always say it how it is.

    • @hlakbrlighthouse1835
      @hlakbrlighthouse1835 3 роки тому +24

      You watching this: *DEW IT!*

    • @asifmetal666
      @asifmetal666 3 роки тому +31

      This is the only true neutral news show

    • @drakebrown9622
      @drakebrown9622 3 роки тому +12

      Get the fuck away Palpatine, your not wanted here, your not the senate

  • @kmm2442
    @kmm2442 6 років тому +1565

    That dad is the stand out actor here. Those looks of sweet endearment and humility.

  • @PengwinGaming205
    @PengwinGaming205 Рік тому +119

    I like how the kids face was so dead and expressionless in the "happy" photos with his family

  • @allison8250
    @allison8250 5 років тому +9628

    "I want the blood."
    "..... well, he's gettin a little shy now"

  • @SpaseGoast
    @SpaseGoast 5 років тому +3729

    "World's oldest attractive woman turns 48"
    I love the old Onion.

    • @lukeb1663
      @lukeb1663 5 років тому +141

      Donnie Pendleton the real news has become so crazy that the onion can’t compete XD

    • @nonamebtch
      @nonamebtch 5 років тому +9

      That j.lo

    • @jesusisthetruth4497
      @jesusisthetruth4497 5 років тому

      SpaseGoast o

    • @juliafunk3952
      @juliafunk3952 5 років тому +2

      Is this real?!

    • @DarkAii619
      @DarkAii619 5 років тому +8

      Technically, it could be true for Asians.

  • @SoshJam
    @SoshJam 4 роки тому +9770

    This kid is gonna grow up into a great painter. Look how artistically he smeared the blood!

    • @teo.took.40.benadryl
      @teo.took.40.benadryl 4 роки тому +351

      Hmm I dunno, I feel like he's specifically going to fail art school at age 18 then come into power of a military by age 43?

    • @sir7851
      @sir7851 4 роки тому +88

      xVᴄ.iᴅ yeah I thought that too
      Hopefully he doesn’t plan on taking over the world and tortures other races for existing

    • @unoriginal5839
      @unoriginal5839 4 роки тому +98

      Fingers crossed he makes it into art school

    • @multiversalman4270
      @multiversalman4270 3 роки тому +17

      And if he fails?

    • @SoshJam
      @SoshJam 3 роки тому +55

      @@multiversalman4270 Then God help us all. Last time someone insane didn’t get into art school they became Hitler.

  • @fishcakedup
    @fishcakedup Рік тому +69

    This aged unreasonably well

  • @primatein
    @primatein 4 роки тому +7400

    "I want the blood....."
    "..... Weeeell, he's getting a little shy now."

    • @goseone412
      @goseone412 4 роки тому +23

      😂😂😂

    • @Zyrdalf
      @Zyrdalf 4 роки тому +35

      I want blood

    • @pqkken
      @pqkken 4 роки тому +62

      You know how people joke about the quiet kid..?

    • @toxicity2x627
      @toxicity2x627 4 роки тому +3

      LMFAOOOO😂😂😂😂😂

    • @austinpierce6053
      @austinpierce6053 3 роки тому +39

      That guy is perhaps my favorite actor. He completely nails it with everything.

  • @xxlady3138
    @xxlady3138 5 років тому +6513

    "Actually it was Lucas laughing that woke me up" 😂

    • @andrebennett2729
      @andrebennett2729 4 роки тому +68

      Exactly it wasn't the loud ahh gunshot😭😭but still why is the kid laughing

    • @thalassaer4137
      @thalassaer4137 4 роки тому +26

      @@andrebennett2729 be a sadist and youll understand

    • @costa1788
      @costa1788 4 роки тому +11

      I spit out my drink when I heard that

    • @KayOScode
      @KayOScode 4 роки тому +2

      @@andrebennett2729 its definitely not a normal reaction

    • @thaksjtube
      @thaksjtube 4 роки тому +6

      The delivery on that line was perfect

  • @brokenm9088
    @brokenm9088 6 років тому +3594

    I see a lot of "I can't believe how many people took this seriously" comments, but I can't seem to find the people who supposedly took it seriously.

    • @SiisKolkytEuroo
      @SiisKolkytEuroo 6 років тому +115

      Broken M90 you have to sort the comments "Newest first" instead of showing only "top comments"

    • @archiermanilo23
      @archiermanilo23 6 років тому +72

      Yeah, it's becuse you're looking at the most likd comments, which are from people who get it.

    • @davidmurphy1207
      @davidmurphy1207 5 років тому +15

      @@SiisKolkytEuroo That is a sad commentary on how much more braindead people are becoming. It's like people can't look beyond the face value of anything that has a professional look these days.
      It's kinda sad how many commercials I see on TV these days with a guy in a white coat that has a stethoscope around his neck and in the fine print it says hes a paid actor/spokesman.
      Yet oddly enough half of the legit videos of crazy stuff that happens with evidence to back it up is called fake because it's a clip uploaded to a site like UA-cam.
      This craziness is what allows celebrities to cause antivaxer movements and weak tenuous connections between visual observations from naive idiots to cause flattards. It's like we are devolving into jello headed morons.

    • @IO279K4RMN
      @IO279K4RMN 5 років тому +1

      @@ExceedingRectified i found one. it's yours

    • @jenkemaddict6784
      @jenkemaddict6784 5 років тому +4

      You just have to sort comments by newest first

  • @kingj6677
    @kingj6677 Рік тому +134

    I love how the dad is trying his best not to break character

  • @intalcu5610
    @intalcu5610 3 роки тому +4300

    0:34 “I take it out a lot. Sometimes I just look at it.”
    He _just_ looks at it _sometimes,_ implying he does more most times…
    Even from such a young age, he works himself to the bone every day! Truly an admirable, larger-than-life hero!

  • @steelrarebit7387
    @steelrarebit7387 6 років тому +3850

    This is just wrong. The kid shot the fingers off? He should have used a pair of pruning shears and it would haven't disfigured them as much. That way the finger necklace would be pristine.

    • @ColHogan-le5yk
      @ColHogan-le5yk 6 років тому +146

      Shy Guy well, he knew where the gun was not the pruning shears.....

    • @steelrarebit7387
      @steelrarebit7387 6 років тому +166

      He just needs more practice.

    • @Rain_8541
      @Rain_8541 6 років тому +107

      Meyouroo you know that comment was a joke

    •  6 років тому +7

      Is it bad that I genuinely would've done this if someone broke into my house, excluding the finger mutilation

    • @skavanagh2778
      @skavanagh2778 6 років тому +5

      @@mu2k499 double woosh

  • @christophermixon-alexander7422
    @christophermixon-alexander7422 5 років тому +3766

    I’m surprised this kid didn’t grow up to be any actor we know. Subtle creepiness is hard to pull off especially as a child. I want the blood 😂😂😂

    • @darrenlowe3445
      @darrenlowe3445 5 років тому +105

      He does do a very good job here 😂

    • @100videosandnosubscribers3
      @100videosandnosubscribers3 5 років тому +160

      Not too hard to nail if you're ACTUALLY A PSYCHOPATH

    • @MizaT11
      @MizaT11 5 років тому +28

      Anyone know his real name?

    • @waltin7051
      @waltin7051 4 роки тому +39

      he kind of gives me vibes of that guy in the office, with dark circles half of the time, new guyish, dark brown hair, think his name was tony or smt? i don’t really watch that show

    • @kermitsewerside
      @kermitsewerside 4 роки тому +10

      Mina thinking of ryan howard by any chance?

  • @ramune64
    @ramune64 Місяць тому +12

    This shit still holds up 15 years later 😂

    • @jarrodm9010
      @jarrodm9010 24 дні тому +1

      People still crying about it... it pops up on my feed every few years and I keep coming back for the comments

  • @crazycjk
    @crazycjk 2 роки тому +6650

    "I like the way the blood makes me feel" I actually cried laughing, this is amazing

    • @NovemberFoxtrotRC
      @NovemberFoxtrotRC 2 роки тому +57

      When comedy wasnt censored it made it so much better. If this video was made now twitter would have CPS at the kids parents house for even allowing him to be a part of the video. Comedy mostly sucks now aside from the few that just don’t give a fuck anymore.

    • @christianrad9924
      @christianrad9924 2 роки тому +32

      You know, blood makes me feel alive.
      I feel a little dry without it.

    • @mikeydmz1588
      @mikeydmz1588 2 роки тому

      Future school shooter. You better watch out.

    • @justcommenting5773
      @justcommenting5773 2 роки тому +4

      Starts heading to the school*

    • @AbcAbc-oy2le
      @AbcAbc-oy2le 2 роки тому +12

      @@NovemberFoxtrotRC Bro, twitter freely does r@pe, pedophilic and ect content and jokes regularly. Twitter is epitome of dark humor. Thet are polarised, though. This type* of humor is nothing to them
      Edit: typo

  • @Quad373
    @Quad373 6 років тому +7356

    “why would he change his shirt, thats his honor shirt.” “i like the blood..”

    • @5gonza541
      @5gonza541 5 років тому +116

      Want*

    • @willlbee
      @willlbee 5 років тому +21

      I read this comment the exact time I heard it

    • @Donnie-sg2cj
      @Donnie-sg2cj 5 років тому +13

      ReasonedTwo130 Why do you idiots keep quoting what the video says? We all watched it

    • @gui18bif
      @gui18bif 5 років тому +1

      Captions say "wanted"

    • @kcirred1029
      @kcirred1029 5 років тому +7

      @@Donnie-sg2cj fuck off asshole

  • @m_6nus
    @m_6nus 2 роки тому +8572

    12 years later and he’s a proud and successful police officer 🥰

  • @stevechance150
    @stevechance150 Рік тому +100

    The National Rifle Association also gave Lucas a Lifetime membership.

  • @Marcus_Halberstram
    @Marcus_Halberstram 2 роки тому +13729

    "It was a burglar, wasn't it Lucas? He was trying to steal things?"
    "He looked hungry."
    dude... lmao

  • @alextate1719
    @alextate1719 5 років тому +2678

    Wait this dad slept through multiple gunshots? Lucas is not only a hero for killing a burglar but for waking his father from a coma

    • @RiggidyDiggidyRaw
      @RiggidyDiggidyRaw 5 років тому +12

      Eric Miret
      I'm the kid in this video you are correct

    • @cwinowich
      @cwinowich 5 років тому +2

      LOL

    • @jesusisthetruth4497
      @jesusisthetruth4497 5 років тому +1

      Brick Wall o

    • @mbkcdai284
      @mbkcdai284 5 років тому +1

      Lmaoooooooooooo

    • @ab_savage4169
      @ab_savage4169 5 років тому +11

      How tf is Lucas a hero ? The fuckin dude put his hands up yet he still shot him with pure enjoyment!! And shot his jaws off ? For WHAT ?!?! Nigga could’ve just called his dad or the cops, that kid put that dude thru hell like wtf wrong wit u white people.. no one deserves to die like that

  • @logan_page
    @logan_page 2 роки тому +9031

    Thank god for Lucas. I’m so glad he’s grown up to be such a fantastic police officer!

    • @justcommenting4981
      @justcommenting4981 2 роки тому

      He's really cut down the counties stray dog population. And whatever his homelessness solution is, it has been working! He said in 10 years he "shall ascend to the presidency" and an NRA spokeswoman said they can't wait to endorse him!

    • @hjt1234
      @hjt1234 2 роки тому +3

      Welcome back to "Spot the Libtard" with our special guest Libtard Logan!

    • @maxpogfrog
      @maxpogfrog 2 роки тому +76

      true lmao

    • @logan_page
      @logan_page 2 роки тому +148

      @@mellohi6175 And the way he refuses all paychecks? So generous.

    • @HoloScope
      @HoloScope 2 роки тому +234

      He's just a good old fashioned family man. Can't get much better than that! Everyday, the children and the wife line up at the front of the house awaiting their daily beating upon his arrival!

  • @DogsCoffeeNJesus
    @DogsCoffeeNJesus Рік тому +60

    "He wouldn't stop talking, so then I shot his jaw off."
    What goes through my mind when a customer stops me on my way to clock out to ask a question

    • @jacobalberts2506
      @jacobalberts2506 7 місяців тому

      So you’re a sick person who works at a grocery store or something

  • @therefridjerator
    @therefridjerator Рік тому +4269

    2:00 "Lucas Says He Hopes More Burglars Break In So He Can Stop Them With Dad's Power Drill" is so underrated

    • @CringePoop
      @CringePoop Рік тому +106

      wait until he discovers daddy's chainsaw

    • @flextape467
      @flextape467 Рік тому +29

      put this future man in juvie

    • @qfcbv
      @qfcbv 8 місяців тому +26

      @@flextape467 more like life without parole holy shit💀

    • @markfox1545
      @markfox1545 7 місяців тому +2

      Why the fuck have you started every word with a capital?

    • @therefridjerator
      @therefridjerator 7 місяців тому +14

      @@markfox1545 because that's what it said in the video

  • @bravetherainbow
    @bravetherainbow 9 років тому +1297

    You can't fool me Today Now, I know my pet is just a regular mole

    • @flashim103
      @flashim103 9 років тому +2

      I dont even XD

    • @swamplife3148
      @swamplife3148 5 років тому +12

      Comrade Whiskers must return to the motherland

    • @Your-Least-Favorite-Stranger
      @Your-Least-Favorite-Stranger 5 років тому +1

      This would explain the digging, she outgrew the nest and was kicked out but knows where all the tunnels are.
      She's trying to exact revenge on her subterranean tormentors/estranged family.

  • @Len124
    @Len124 4 роки тому +2706

    "World's Oldest Attractive Woman Celebrates 48th Birthday" That's brutal...

    • @0SilentStone0
      @0SilentStone0 3 роки тому +91

      It's not meant to be brutal. It's satire; it's pointing out our prejudices

    • @MAMP
      @MAMP 3 роки тому +6

      wahahahahahahaha

    • @robertjensen1048
      @robertjensen1048 3 роки тому +165

      @@0SilentStone0 Just pointing out reality.

    • @thenablade858
      @thenablade858 3 роки тому +41

      @@robertjensen1048 Yeah, the reality is that people are prejudiced against old people.

    • @robertjensen1048
      @robertjensen1048 3 роки тому +89

      @@thenablade858 Naaaah, just against old females. 😅

  • @SloppyGarlic
    @SloppyGarlic 22 дні тому +10

    Worlds oldest attractive woman celebrates 48th birthday 😭😭 cmon man

    • @GWNorth-db8vn
      @GWNorth-db8vn 9 днів тому +1

      Never heard of a 35 year old lying about being older before.

  • @CityWhisperer
    @CityWhisperer 4 роки тому +2446

    "Lucas says he hopes more burglars break in so he can stop them with his dad's power drill" LMAO 😂😂

  • @nashton7057
    @nashton7057 4 роки тому +1318

    That smirk at the end gets me everytime

  • @AdrianColley
    @AdrianColley 9 років тому +178

    Genius from start to finish. I especially love the condescending-but-not-listening attitude of the presenters.

  • @andrewm6829
    @andrewm6829 Рік тому +102

    "he looked hungry"
    -so i fed him some lead

  • @TheYTshortCinema
    @TheYTshortCinema Рік тому +8595

    “it’s his honor shirt” “i want the blood” 💀💀💀

    • @teecollins5790
      @teecollins5790 Рік тому +21

      😂😂

    • @Dr.Madd138
      @Dr.Madd138 Рік тому +100

      Blood for the blood god!!!!

    • @palmerjacob39
      @palmerjacob39 Рік тому +105

      I love how the "I want the blood" just slips in there between other lines with the perfect clandestine tone that it makes it all the more ominous.🤣😂

    • @Powys6732
      @Powys6732 Рік тому +26

      ​@@Dr.Madd138SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE

    • @blissssssssss
      @blissssssssss Рік тому +16

      "Well..."

  • @woody5476
    @woody5476 Рік тому +1299

    I love how the dad looks legitimately happy, excited, and supportive. haha

  • @whofan325
    @whofan325 2 роки тому +1418

    The fucking sub header beneath the kid. “Lucas snapped burglar’s elbows so he couldn’t reach for the weapon” cracks me the fuck up everytime

    • @shelbylynn9
      @shelbylynn9 Рік тому +112

      There’s another great one under the kid at 2:01 . It says “Lucas says he hopes more burglars break in so he can stop them with Dad’s power drill” 😂 Jesus Christ

    • @whofan325
      @whofan325 Рік тому +20

      @@shelbylynn9 the poor bastards coming in

  • @infjelphabasupporter8416
    @infjelphabasupporter8416 Рік тому +104

    As a European, this is how my parents would describe the US when I was a kid.

    • @rphb5870
      @rphb5870 4 місяці тому

      but isn't this exactly what America is like. Violent and crazy, with leaders that are either invalids or convicts

    • @callmeshaggy5166
      @callmeshaggy5166 3 місяці тому +11

      As an American, I can tell you only some of this is satire and it's up to you to find out which parts.

    • @georgegonzalez5977
      @georgegonzalez5977 23 дні тому +1

      Strange place Europe must be then..believing anything they hear

    • @heavens-and-earth
      @heavens-and-earth 13 днів тому

      @@georgegonzalez5977 we don't have guns in England so we don't know. i have never seen a real gun.

    • @mace8873
      @mace8873 9 днів тому

      @@heavens-and-earth Statistically you have 4.6 firearms per 100 people.

  • @srbrant5391
    @srbrant5391 3 роки тому +1454

    The kid’s all grown up now and living a productive life in my town. It’s weird how he always dumps a whole bunch of cherry cobbler into the trash right after I stop hearing from one of my neighbors, though.

    • @1actose
      @1actose 3 роки тому +85

      Yeah. I heard firecracker-like sounds from his backyard on Halloween, and my friend (in the backyard) perfectly replicated a dead body, even going as far as making it look like he was decapitated.

    • @1actose
      @1actose 3 роки тому +47

      He was put in my garbage can, he's still giving me the silent treatment.

    • @srbrant5391
      @srbrant5391 3 роки тому +29

      @@1actose Man, some people...

    • @1actose
      @1actose 3 роки тому +18

      @@srbrant5391 yeah.

    • @Xominus
      @Xominus 3 роки тому +20

      @@1actose Is he still quiet?

  • @hydrogen.jukebox
    @hydrogen.jukebox 3 роки тому +2869

    "Must've been fun getting that award at school, right? An-"
    "I want the blood"

    • @thomasingram1727
      @thomasingram1727 3 роки тому +167

      "Well, he's getting a little shy now"

    • @lorenzocassaro3054
      @lorenzocassaro3054 3 роки тому +38

      He wants the blood

    • @alx2900
      @alx2900 3 роки тому +29

      Just give him the blood

    • @aram8832
      @aram8832 3 роки тому +2

      Reporters ki fatt gyi.

    • @thegroi
      @thegroi 3 роки тому +15

      BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

  • @FoxtrotGolfLima
    @FoxtrotGolfLima 5 років тому +642

    yo this kid is an amazing actor look at his eyes and body language throughout

    • @luxy5174
      @luxy5174 5 років тому +26

      @Fabian Leiva That's because it isn't acting >;)

    • @chelseakirra20
      @chelseakirra20 5 років тому

      Fabian Leiva that’s bc he ain’t acting bruv haha

    • @koolaidsman451
      @koolaidsman451 5 років тому

      he isnt acting

    • @expohshappyhour1460
      @expohshappyhour1460 5 років тому +7

      @@chelseakirra20 this isn't real, it's all acting, every bit of it

    • @expohshappyhour1460
      @expohshappyhour1460 5 років тому +5

      @@ynwl-e4b you should learn wtf the onion is

  • @TronaldTheWizard
    @TronaldTheWizard Місяць тому +7

    No one talking about "worlds oldest attractive women celebrates 48th birthday" LMAO

  • @Qabra-
    @Qabra- 2 роки тому +1053

    The fact that people still comment thinking this is real makes me so happy

    • @AlexPerez-tt9ru
      @AlexPerez-tt9ru 2 роки тому +6

      It is hilarious when people get so serious

    • @DoubleMonoLR
      @DoubleMonoLR 2 роки тому +23

      No they don't. The only "serious" comments are just people "playing along" but without a grasp on humour.

    • @mathgasm8484
      @mathgasm8484 2 роки тому +11

      I was a hotel manager at Hilton and showed the breakfast lady that this just came on the news she freaked out lol.

    • @findthebox8623
      @findthebox8623 2 роки тому +1

      Me too

    • @__kara__101
      @__kara__101 2 роки тому +2

      I always look for these comments but never find them

  • @hadyn.
    @hadyn. 5 років тому +1786

    Kid: I want the blood.
    Interviewer: WELLLLL.....

    • @collisionmanxls2910
      @collisionmanxls2910 5 років тому +14

      Hadyn Hoggatt and the dead stare

    • @DarrenSemotiuk
      @DarrenSemotiuk 5 років тому +8

      ESPECIALLY dark when you have seen the "Interviewer" travel across America trying a bunch of PORK dishes... what a dark ending...
      "Jim Haggerty Porks The USA! -- Porkin' Across America" ua-cam.com/video/PwQns6vGfj4/v-deo.html

    • @chelseaalexus1839
      @chelseaalexus1839 5 років тому +1

      💀💀💀💀💀💀

    • @donaldschorr428
      @donaldschorr428 4 роки тому +1

      Haha haha funny as shit

  • @Smanson1321
    @Smanson1321 5 місяців тому +193

    This is like one of those horrifying dreams where you're the only one that sees something wrong with the situation.

    • @deadsushi4287
      @deadsushi4287 4 місяці тому +8

      You're entering the twilight zone

    • @mis9274
      @mis9274 4 місяці тому +6

      LITERALLY. the way this kid is talking, he sounds like a serial killer. he said it himself the man looked HUNGRY, he even pleaded with him not to shoot and the kid seemed pleased with himself. thatis a psychopath in the making

    • @Skiddleboi
      @Skiddleboi 4 місяці тому +3

      @@COMMODOOSA holy shit thank you for for clarifying 😂 i know it’s dumb but I actually thought this is how Americans raised their kids for a second!

  • @thrashingpanic
    @thrashingpanic 5 років тому +773

    "But you didn't listen to him, did you? :)"

    • @sforbesgocka
      @sforbesgocka 5 років тому +36

      what a hero

    • @lilirodriguez8851
      @lilirodriguez8851 5 років тому

      Oconachar I hope you’re being sarcastic

    • @mrhuntalot123
      @mrhuntalot123 5 років тому +3

      @@lilirodriguez8851 you dont think what that kid did took bravery?

    • @lilirodriguez8851
      @lilirodriguez8851 5 років тому +1

      Remy Martin It wasn’t bravery. Bravery is doing something for good even though you’re afraid to. This was only a desire to hurt someone. One gun shot would have been understandable as defense but the rest of the injuries were only to keep causing him pain even though he was already defenseless after the first shot.

    • @karl5758
      @karl5758 5 років тому +12

      @@lilirodriguez8851 r/atetheonion

  • @icemaster-
    @icemaster- 3 місяці тому +15

    I put this video on my watchlist thinking it was real. I clicked on it thinking it was real. I watched it thinking it was real. I. Left. TRAUMATIZED. Than I looked at who made it.

    • @theendofthestart8179
      @theendofthestart8179 3 місяці тому +4

      sounds like youre terrible at media consumption

    • @icemaster-
      @icemaster- 3 місяці тому +5

      @@theendofthestart8179 How did you guess?

  • @GeneralCane
    @GeneralCane 2 роки тому +740

    The burglar was an absolute tank to have survived as much as he did before dying.

  • @BillBodega
    @BillBodega 10 років тому +675

    I'm fairly convinced that this is still the best video on the internet.

    • @AaronGilliland
      @AaronGilliland 10 років тому +4

      Corey, do you have an Honor Shirt, too?

    • @BillBodega
      @BillBodega 10 років тому +5

      I never let them get that close.

    • @AaronGilliland
      @AaronGilliland 10 років тому

      Surely you go and pick over the carcass.

    • @BillBodega
      @BillBodega 10 років тому +4

      Fingers and ears don't have that much blood.

    • @AaronGilliland
      @AaronGilliland 10 років тому +1

      Attaboy.

  • @jeffstortz8731
    @jeffstortz8731 2 роки тому +7273

    "I wanted the blood."
    "Weeelll he's gotten a little shy now."
    Not only are the actors who play the hosts amazing, but every guest knocks it out of the park, even when they're only 8!

    • @HelloWorldMyNameIsLyra
      @HelloWorldMyNameIsLyra 2 роки тому +59

      actors?

    • @HelloWorldMyNameIsLyra
      @HelloWorldMyNameIsLyra 2 роки тому +45

      ​@@EMPEROR_SIN​Some people don't get a joke smh

    • @Rex_Nichts
      @Rex_Nichts 2 роки тому +13

      He's not 40,000 years old

    • @jamesg252
      @jamesg252 2 роки тому

      @@Rex_Nichts lol

    • @zankthegreat4291
      @zankthegreat4291 2 роки тому +3

      @Starry Eyes still the kids. If you value someone else’s things over your life, we’ll also value our things over your life.

  • @lu5513
    @lu5513 10 місяців тому +38

    Funny how there's always people who think the onion's skits are real, some people are truly special

    • @thichinhphan4010
      @thichinhphan4010 6 місяців тому +1

      Well, stupidity is an incurable genetic trait of homosapiens.

  • @cringehorse
    @cringehorse 4 роки тому +6333

    "He started crying, so I shot him in the back." "He wouldn't stop talking so I shot his jaw!" "I like the way the blood makes me feel!" "I want the blood."

    • @Ryan-ir3zp
      @Ryan-ir3zp 4 роки тому +206

      10k Subscribers with no videos challenge wait what?? i thought the onion was a reputable news source!

    • @neighbourino2376
      @neighbourino2376 4 роки тому +87

      10k Subscribers with no videos challenge
      Darn it! I never would have thought The Onion would lie! The betrayal!

    • @pikaboy70
      @pikaboy70 4 роки тому +61

      10k Subscribers with no videos challenge You’re a sub beggar, dumbass

    • @neighbourino2376
      @neighbourino2376 4 роки тому +46

      @@kSubscribersWithoutVideo-qg3qr I know you weren't talking to me but I responded anyway. Nothing you can do about that

    • @pikaboy70
      @pikaboy70 4 роки тому +36

      10k Subscribers with no videos challenge Look! The beggar called someone a dumbass. You can all laugh now 😂

  • @BarrelShape
    @BarrelShape 8 років тому +1610

    "It's the weakest part of the skull, that's right" lol

    • @summerskull9379
      @summerskull9379 5 років тому +50

      "Well how did you manage to do that, Lucas?"
      "Either you shoot at the temples and pull down, or you shoot at the side of the skull wall."
      Wait, so he's done this more than once?

    • @bananasrotate7821
      @bananasrotate7821 5 років тому +9

      @@summerskull9379 it's called deer hunting

    • @daneiten1
      @daneiten1 4 роки тому +1

      @@bananasrotate7821 no.its not

    • @bern9642
      @bern9642 4 роки тому +1

      @@daneiten1 if you watch the video, it shows pictures of his and his dad's hunting trip. That's probably where he left all that.

  • @kokonutmilkshake703
    @kokonutmilkshake703 3 роки тому +503

    The awkward silence after the kid says "I want the blood" is gold

    • @randomduck8679
      @randomduck8679 2 роки тому +4

      It's like they finally reliazied the kid might not be normal

  • @Chlosephene
    @Chlosephene Місяць тому +10

    The fact that some people don't recognize that this is satire is fucking alarming

    • @jarrodm9010
      @jarrodm9010 24 дні тому +1

      That's why the country is the way it is... the same people are allowed to vote. There should really be a test or something

    • @Chlosephene
      @Chlosephene 24 дні тому +1

      @@jarrodm9010 I get what your saying but there should NOT be a test

  • @vexivero
    @vexivero 10 років тому +3661

    world's oldest attractive woman celebrates 48th birthday lmfao!

    • @roddydykes7053
      @roddydykes7053 6 років тому +32

      Vexivero So true lmao sad reality

    • @roddydykes7053
      @roddydykes7053 6 років тому +30

      Vexivero So true lmao, sad reality

    • @ishpeeedy
      @ishpeeedy 6 років тому

      Name?

    • @realmaximouse
      @realmaximouse 6 років тому +7

      Yo, you ever heard of Helen Mirren? Always has looked amazing for her age! But in general yes it's true

    • @jokebud
      @jokebud 6 років тому +63

      Vexivero they’re commenting on misogynistic beauty ideals for aging women

  • @ashtonc1
    @ashtonc1 5 років тому +1582

    This video is going viral on twitter right now... incoming people who actually think it’s real

    • @justjoyce4261
      @justjoyce4261 5 років тому +3

      True

    • @bonjour34366
      @bonjour34366 5 років тому +41

      Wait it’s fake

    • @NikeSoccerTennis
      @NikeSoccerTennis 5 років тому +13

      You probably thought it was too, but you read the comments, figured it out after looking it up on youtube and here you are now

    • @kalash_nikov
      @kalash_nikov 5 років тому +20

      Instagram meme pages also post it now ans 90% of comments think it's real 😂

    • @geepadoodle
      @geepadoodle 5 років тому +9

      its real wdym very heroic boy

  • @sintexx2801
    @sintexx2801 4 роки тому +890

    “I like the way the blood makes me feel”
    “Oh ho! And the school gave you a special courage medal!”

    • @gregorytimmons4777
      @gregorytimmons4777 3 роки тому +6

      Every student needs to get a medal for participation.

    • @Nolabray21
      @Nolabray21 2 роки тому

      If he didnt get that he would of shot them too

  • @ludwigvonn9889
    @ludwigvonn9889 11 місяців тому +18

    I swear Onion had the best acting instructors and casting managers in the history of television...crazy

  • @lamariemaytubby4653
    @lamariemaytubby4653 5 років тому +932

    “ I want the blood..” *awkward long pause* “WElLlL” 😭💀

    • @iibeemayne
      @iibeemayne 5 років тому +1

      ahahahaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • @Mor1adim
      @Mor1adim 4 роки тому

      He's just shy

  • @brautigan1
    @brautigan1 10 років тому +1677

    I sure wish people would quit using the word "fake" when it comes to satire.
    People, satire isn't "fake," and it isn't meant to "fool" anyone. It's 100% REAL satire. Jesus.

    • @brautigan1
      @brautigan1 10 років тому +66

      fhhh No, it's satire. Learn the difference.

    • @joshbrucks
      @joshbrucks 6 років тому +8

      Dan Williams and satire is fake... learn the difference

    • @viljamtheninja
      @viljamtheninja 6 років тому +131

      Ictus Satire isn't fake, you idiot. It's satire. For something to be fake, it has to be trying to pass as the real thing in order to fool people. Satire isn't trying to fool people into believing it's real, it's just trying to satirize things.
      Sure, some people are idiots and THINK it's real, but let's not let idiots determine how we define concepts.

    • @bobbyrossy508
      @bobbyrossy508 6 років тому +1

      Dan Williams no it’s real y funny

    • @andrews902
      @andrews902 6 років тому +16

      I am Sekou You should shut the fuck up moron, he's right. Satire is an art form where fake news is news that's perpetuating false information under the pretense of that information being factual. It's like saying that inglorious bastards is propaganda when it's just a movie.

  • @tommclarty17
    @tommclarty17 3 роки тому +622

    The dad smiling and nodding like his kid is talking about pitching a no hitter is what kills me.

  • @SillierPutty
    @SillierPutty Місяць тому +11

    The amount of people who don't realize this is satire is... concerning, to say the least.

    • @airgunningyup
      @airgunningyup Місяць тому +1

      our country is borderline re-arded.. They dont have the cognitive capacity to tell whether or not this is satire.. its just unreal

    • @Badger_IV.
      @Badger_IV. Місяць тому +1

      Thats how politicians gets elected around the world.

  • @imdelet
    @imdelet 2 роки тому +1350

    this guy is better than most adult actors 💀

    • @throwback19841
      @throwback19841 2 роки тому +10

      Wonder where he is now, should be in his 20s.
      Christ that makes me feel old.

    • @mousalini4095
      @mousalini4095 Рік тому +8

      2:22 had me crying

    • @scottmatheson3346
      @scottmatheson3346 Рік тому +6

      in fairness the actors in adult movies aren't hired for their acting

    • @imdelet
      @imdelet Рік тому +4

      @@scottmatheson3346 i think you misunderstood what i said LMAO

    • @PikaFanboy
      @PikaFanboy Рік тому +3

      @@imdelet He has ap oint.

  • @trashy10
    @trashy10 10 років тому +1536

    idk why everyone is laughing,we need to get this boy some help,it took him all those shots just to kill 1 man

    • @trashy10
      @trashy10 9 років тому +82

      great! now that's a good cause,finally the church helping out kids

    • @stalinwasballin338
      @stalinwasballin338 9 років тому +34

      trashy10 thank god this is so real

    • @lilcrust3063
      @lilcrust3063 6 років тому +12

      The video is fake dude.

    • @yourpark2616
      @yourpark2616 6 років тому +2

      trashy10 ik and the guy was just hungry

    • @lemonke8132
      @lemonke8132 6 років тому +48

      Mr.cornbreadsauce read the guy’s comment carefully. He’s making a joke...

  • @toastednoodles
    @toastednoodles 2 роки тому +189

    "World's Oldest Attractive Woman Celebrates 48th Birthday" Ouch right in the gut

  • @UnbannedAgain
    @UnbannedAgain 23 дні тому +9

    This isn't satire in the untitled states of disrepair.

  • @jackcassidy9963
    @jackcassidy9963 4 роки тому +1432

    Gun safety isn't to protect children it's to protect burglars

  • @gualtony1123
    @gualtony1123 4 роки тому +375

    “Lucas says that he hopes that more burglars would brake in so he can stop them with his dad power drill “

  • @empressredbird
    @empressredbird 2 роки тому +335

    it just sucks when they won't stop screaming. Terrible humans, those burglars.

  • @maxhess3151
    @maxhess3151 4 місяці тому +13

    This kid's acting is WAY too good. Holy shit this is terrifying.

  • @jahyeet1137
    @jahyeet1137 3 роки тому +842

    1:04 I love how the adults start talking to each other while the kid just talks about this “experience” like a soldier with ptsd or something 😂

    • @DarkAraque
      @DarkAraque 3 роки тому +4

      Nicely said

    • @wrarmatei
      @wrarmatei 3 роки тому

      @HumanPerson conflating child soldiers with sociopaths tells me that you're full of shit.

    • @blacky_Ninja
      @blacky_Ninja 3 роки тому +14

      @@wrarmatei
      When did he conflate them?
      The connection point was the ptsd, not the sociopathy.
      Try reading more carefully before responding. 🤦

  • @malacara1335
    @malacara1335 6 років тому +1458

    Should've went with
    Show host: "Lucas you didn't even change your shirt before you got your award!"
    Dad: "Oh he did, that's a different shirt"

  • @giannamb1112
    @giannamb1112 4 роки тому +918

    I read the title as "Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burger"
    Edit: I think i was just really hungry...

    • @Adam-xf6sq
      @Adam-xf6sq 4 роки тому +84

      This sentence is more American than this video

    • @juandavila4534
      @juandavila4534 3 роки тому +6

      Same lmao

    • @alang9891
      @alang9891 3 роки тому +3

      This made me laugh more than it should’ve

    • @Masonjason43
      @Masonjason43 3 роки тому +3

      Yeah the title is wrong heroically? More like brutally

    • @xsct878
      @xsct878 3 роки тому +7

      @@Masonjason43 thats the joke genius.

  • @armelior4610
    @armelior4610 Рік тому +39

    I believe this young person will be a great recruit for the army when he's of age. He could help liberate the next country burdened by too much oil, because I'm told PTSD tend to reduce effectiveness and I have a feeling this won't be a problem here

    • @auralit8
      @auralit8 10 місяців тому +6

      "The next county burdened by too much oil" lmao

    • @jameshill4589
      @jameshill4589 3 місяці тому

      Was that a joke about people who have PTSD?

  • @theswan1093
    @theswan1093 3 роки тому +175

    “Lucas says he hopes more burglars break in so he can stop them with his dads power drill.” That’s how true American heroes are born.

  • @kevinhoward9593
    @kevinhoward9593 2 роки тому +810

    Good boy, Lucas! He's very well mannered and spoken.

    • @Heisenburg6905
      @Heisenburg6905 2 роки тому

      he sounds like a psychopath

    • @ryans9103
      @ryans9103 Рік тому

      You realize this is fake ? Its the onion haha

    • @inspektor12
      @inspektor12 Рік тому +19

      @@ryans9103 you realize that he is joking?

    • @FlameKB
      @FlameKB Рік тому +16

      @@ryans9103 A majority of the people watching this video know it’s fake and are just playing along with the joke. You don’t need to keep telling people it’s fake, they know.

    • @ryans9103
      @ryans9103 Рік тому

      @@FlameKB sure thanks for playing along

  • @Nyce2Everyone
    @Nyce2Everyone 5 років тому +219

    “Lucas says he hopes more burglars break in so he can stop them with his dad’s power drill” :o

    • @TM-rh7zs
      @TM-rh7zs 5 років тому +5

      @@unworthy1582 Obviously its from the oinion (The most well known parody news website)

    • @andysux1
      @andysux1 5 років тому +1

      @@unworthy1582 it's real bro. Dont let these foos make you think otherwise. This is all over the news

  • @moonbeamsunshine
    @moonbeamsunshine 8 місяців тому +6

    When I originally clicked on this video, I thought it said “burger” instead of burglar and was really confused when I started watching and waiting for them to mention the burger before I reread the title.