Trying Blossom’s Fake Food Life Hacks

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  • Опубліковано 18 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 12 тис.

  • @sbean1408
    @sbean1408 4 роки тому +5288

    My fave part of the rice thing is that if it was true, do you think people wouldn't notice hard pieces of plastic in their soft rice??

    • @justanamezain3602
      @justanamezain3602 4 роки тому +59

      They say the rice softens, but tbh, I'm not sure.

    • @guccicupcakeandsunshineboo6315
      @guccicupcakeandsunshineboo6315 4 роки тому +614

      I'm indian and I eat rice almost every single day since I was like one year old and I have never had the problem of plastic in my rice. Maybe some chaff occasionally, but that's about it. Rice is extremely soft when cooked,how the fuck do you miss plastic bits if it's in it?

    • @missionaryballer69
      @missionaryballer69 4 роки тому +82

      S o f t p l a s t i c

    • @RooftopRose079
      @RooftopRose079 4 роки тому +262

      It's been in my diet for 8 years now-I never found plastic in my rice. Not to mention plastic bits are so expensive, any company attempting that would go bankrupt quickly, it'd be a lot easier and cheaper just to grow more rice.

    • @CovensAgainstTheThrone
      @CovensAgainstTheThrone 4 роки тому +188

      Plus the fumes of melted plastic?? I-

  • @nukelesnick2779
    @nukelesnick2779 5 років тому +3231

    Those “plastic bits” are just rice, the starch in it underwent some chemical reactions, it’s the same if you put rice in a rice cooker and get that plastic like film around the edges of the pot, it’s just starch

  • @ivanooze8266
    @ivanooze8266 5 років тому +4929

    It would literally be cheaper to have a pound of rice than a pound of rice with 1/3 of it being plastic. Company’s would lose money using plastic bits

    • @desiree5416
      @desiree5416 4 роки тому +215

      What do they think that plastic is made out of to make it cheaper than rice?

    • @wooaahh23
      @wooaahh23 4 роки тому +29

      Gj. You repeated what he said.

    • @srushed
      @srushed 4 роки тому +267

      Also it obvs would hurt when you chew it if it was plastic. No need to know the price of plastic to know that plastic isn't soft when you bite it. Unless you'll eating rice uncooked idk

    • @yanuchiuchihaanimegamesand3907
      @yanuchiuchihaanimegamesand3907 4 роки тому +19

      There are some places in China where they use wax as fake rice.

    • @kjxnz
      @kjxnz 4 роки тому +4

      Companies

  • @calebh3632
    @calebh3632 4 роки тому +2534

    I love the idea of Jarvis walking through a park and stopping, his girlfriend goes "Jarvis, what's wrong?" And he just goes "I think I smell... the prophecy"

    • @hat7475
      @hat7475 3 роки тому +27

      As the stars foretold
      **Nods**

    • @Maninawig
      @Maninawig 3 роки тому +21

      A random girl bends her utensil saying "there is no spoon"

    • @t19563
      @t19563 2 роки тому +3

      The "Evil Prophecy"

    • @addison7624
      @addison7624 2 роки тому +7

      We don't talk about Jarvis

    • @jenniferdunstan5065
      @jenniferdunstan5065 2 роки тому +7

      Yeah and the girlfriend understands it completely because she was also visited by her fancy future self

  • @illymation
    @illymation 5 років тому +10693

    I love how in order to test if the food is real you have to destroy it beyond enjoyment first

  • @ndg3115
    @ndg3115 5 років тому +21493

    “luckily, my roommate teresa has a f***ing flamethrower”
    +100 *RESPECT*

  • @flamangofsdwg1297
    @flamangofsdwg1297 5 років тому +3823

    Jarvis: Anyone got a lighter?
    His roommate: *Well yes, but actually no.*

  • @auroradeister9314
    @auroradeister9314 4 роки тому +2491

    “Flamethrower”
    Jarvis that’s a blowtor-
    Shh don’t ruin this for him

    • @Starlight-kv7cd
      @Starlight-kv7cd 4 роки тому +146

      If he throws the flame though, he becomes a flame, thrower.

    • @99veruca
      @99veruca 3 роки тому +26

      Don't ruin this for me

    • @JamesCharIes
      @JamesCharIes 3 роки тому +3

      @@99veruca
      P
      I
      _

    • @Zośka35
      @Zośka35 3 роки тому +46

      Lmfao his roomie definitely be smoking that dank and I love it

    • @hat7475
      @hat7475 3 роки тому

      PFFT 😭

  • @FumoCore6FiresofReiuji
    @FumoCore6FiresofReiuji 5 років тому +4855

    I hate channels that feed people bad information for the sake of farming content. Thanks for debunking them.

    • @gugi4477
      @gugi4477 5 років тому +18

      Tfs

    • @dnghn.design
      @dnghn.design 5 років тому +8

      5 minute crafts' crafts are COOL altho not that useful

    • @SomeRandomHelldiver07
      @SomeRandomHelldiver07 5 років тому +58

      And now my family are going shit crazy about these misleading facts

    • @raybrunken9707
      @raybrunken9707 5 років тому +6

      The entire democratic agenda in a nutshell

    • @theformalmooshroom9147
      @theformalmooshroom9147 5 років тому +48

      They should be demonitised and they would stop spreading shit because they would no longer have the monetary incentive

  • @JulianaRosaAraujo
    @JulianaRosaAraujo 4 роки тому +4645

    "Teresa, my roomate-"
    *cuts to cute girl waving and smiling*
    "Has a fucking FLAMETHROWER"
    This was a cinematic masterpiece on it's own

  • @aneigh
    @aneigh 4 роки тому +1467

    Robber: robs jarvis's house
    teresa: so you have chosen......death

  • @ashtheinfection6749
    @ashtheinfection6749 4 роки тому +617

    “ You hear that kids, eat your weed”
    I CANT STOP LAUGHING

  • @myairv
    @myairv 4 роки тому +3628

    The only reason the “natural” cheese melted like that is because it has more fat than the processed cheese

    • @tricdaddy316
      @tricdaddy316 4 роки тому +217

      I see you've watched Ann's video as well

    • @no4785
      @no4785 4 роки тому +102

      @@tricdaddy316 i mean its basic knowledge so that doesn't necessarily mean someone saying this watched anyones video

    • @bowmanc.7439
      @bowmanc.7439 4 роки тому +168

      Not really “more” fat. The main factor is how these fat molecules are aligned. If they are straightened, then there’s more surface area and thus more intermolecular bond. So it has a higher melting point, so much so that it’s melting point might be higher than it’s burning point.
      Whereas if the molecules are scrambled into balls, they fall apart very easily.
      This is a process call tempering.
      You can temper many things made solid by fat bonds to achieve different texture. For example chocolate, same chocolate liquid, cooled in room temperature will have much higher melting point than one that’s flash cooled in liquid nitrogen. The latter will melt as soon as it enters you mouth, but the former can have some chew.

    • @xinf3ctdx
      @xinf3ctdx 4 роки тому +84

      @@no4785 Basic knowledge for people who care about the differences between processed cheese and natural cheese, maybe.

    • @mikashemesh3803
      @mikashemesh3803 4 роки тому +6

      I see you're a man of culture as well

  • @aneteerm6535
    @aneteerm6535 4 роки тому +3409

    If you’re interested, then Ann Readon made a wideo about this and she explains, why these reactions actually happen.

    • @anirantar7333
      @anirantar7333 4 роки тому +41

      Could you send the link

    • @aneteerm6535
      @aneteerm6535 4 роки тому +131

      A Nirantar ua-cam.com/video/vSBSzWmjXO0/v-deo.html

    • @meginmd
      @meginmd 4 роки тому +109

      Yup--IIRC, the cheese burning has to do with the amount of fat in the cheese.

    • @23rdcenturyhobbit
      @23rdcenturyhobbit 4 роки тому +155

      Ann and Dave Readon is GOAT.

    • @AnthroFox99
      @AnthroFox99 4 роки тому +160

      @@23rdcenturyhobbit Dave's the real GOAT, for eating all the questionable foods the are form the hacks.

  • @iamprocrastination.9415
    @iamprocrastination.9415 5 років тому +1492

    the rock: " YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN'?"
    me: "Baby food."

  • @ona512
    @ona512 3 роки тому +176

    if Jarvis gets popular enough that fans do "out of context" compilations, I want 5:31 to be the intro clip for at least 8 of them

  • @elisabethhunter9101
    @elisabethhunter9101 5 років тому +2677

    "i'm you from the fancy future"
    can we just appreciate how Jarvis makes the sponsor worth watching

    • @OrangeC7
      @OrangeC7 5 років тому +28

      Honestly Jarvis is just setting up all of the lore in his sponsor segments

    • @royalwolf4119
      @royalwolf4119 5 років тому +4

      I know right because in other vids I just skip past it, and his sponsor videos should be the real ads

    • @leonardoombrog1063
      @leonardoombrog1063 5 років тому +3

      @PATTON Damn

    • @khadijahmuhammad4771
      @khadijahmuhammad4771 5 років тому

      @PATTON r/ihadastroke

    • @doublethecookies4057
      @doublethecookies4057 5 років тому

      Kay Pompeii exactly

  • @Melonhii
    @Melonhii 5 років тому +5026

    The “natural” cheese just has a higher fat content, that’s why it melts

    • @Dr.GregHouse
      @Dr.GregHouse 5 років тому +426

      I don’t get people who think anything unnatural is bad, like 90% of stuff we do is unnatural (using phones, toilets or mattresses)

    • @ameliad7945
      @ameliad7945 5 років тому +270

      ANN REARDON

    • @pissperson1798
      @pissperson1798 5 років тому +217

      HOW TO COOK THAT

    • @Dgero
      @Dgero 5 років тому +124

      Cynical YT
      Or why natural means good.... It shouldn’t take long to think of examples but I’m tired

    • @BenignSteak2716
      @BenignSteak2716 5 років тому +86

      Cynical YT same, I don’t get why people are mad about GMOs. The genetically modified crops are the answer to world hunger.

  • @kiwichicc
    @kiwichicc 5 років тому +801

    Blossom: "Ground up rocks are being put in your baby food!1!1!1!1! Fear for your life!1!1"
    Also Blossom: *advocates that you eat pure uncut salt, a **_rock_*

    • @cowboylike_zoe
      @cowboylike_zoe 5 років тому +12

      Kiwi Chicc also bleach strawberries

    • @godslaughter
      @godslaughter 5 років тому +6

      Salt (Halite) is a mineral actually, not a rock. A mineral is an inorganic substance with a crystal structure that mostly grows out of rocks, while rocks are an inorganic mass made out of more minerals, which is something minerals grow out of. HOWEVER, your statement still holds a valid point and I love it. Hope this makes sense sdkjsdkf!

  • @-d-devil-3393
    @-d-devil-3393 4 роки тому +517

    That fucking rice thing, I live in an Asian country and somehow my father saw that video on a local "news channel" here. Since then, he has stopped eating rice.... I have been trying to convince him for a year that it was a dumb internet thing

    • @SorowFame
      @SorowFame 3 роки тому +40

      Can’t you just heat rice to show him?

    • @mistymoooooor
      @mistymoooooor 3 роки тому +51

      I worry for your father

    • @aliza8871
      @aliza8871 3 роки тому +2

      Lmaoooo

    • @aliza8871
      @aliza8871 3 роки тому +31

      It's been 11 months, did he start eating Rice now 💀💀?

    • @Lanetgm
      @Lanetgm 2 роки тому +1

      What Asian country

  • @petra_gr
    @petra_gr 4 роки тому +3241

    “Luckily my roommate has a f*cking flame thrower.” - Jarvis Johnson

    • @Frog_Mario
      @Frog_Mario 4 роки тому +94

      I wanna be that type of roommate :v

    • @maggieholland8202
      @maggieholland8202 4 роки тому +81

      Theresa coming through in a pinch

    • @codename_ema
      @codename_ema 4 роки тому +109

      Theresa is a wise woman, carrying her flamethrower anywhere in moments of emergency

    • @eyesack2790
      @eyesack2790 4 роки тому +81

      I'd put good money on it being used for dabs

    • @fyrefrost1898
      @fyrefrost1898 4 роки тому +37

      It’s really a blowtorch but shhhh

  • @attakk8961
    @attakk8961 5 років тому +1914

    Jarvis: My lighter just ran out of fluid so...
    Theresa: *_Allow me to introduce myself._*

    • @ForeverInProfitsLLC
      @ForeverInProfitsLLC 5 років тому +13

      10,000 Subscribers With No Videos? She gets high

    • @carmelitab2588
      @carmelitab2588 5 років тому +18

      Jarvis:dang no more lighter
      Random flamethrower no one but Theresa knew about for some unknown reason: I'm finna get a whole new career

    • @quintonneal2881
      @quintonneal2881 5 років тому +8

      It’s for dabs XD

    • @foxxtale8728
      @foxxtale8728 5 років тому +2

      We are one in the same

  • @CocoTheMii
    @CocoTheMii 4 роки тому +1622

    "Alright, now back to the history of coffee."
    *coffee grinder noises*
    "SEE, IT ALL STARTED WITH A COFFEE BERRY-"

  • @DreadedEspresso
    @DreadedEspresso 4 роки тому +348

    I have a few things to explain about the Food-Related statements this channel has put out. I am in no way an expert, and only know what I know by doing research. So please, do not take it that I know all things about food. This is only things that I have discovered by doing a bit of homework on the subject. Thank you.
    1. High-fat cheese will burn, due to how flammable fat is, no matter what kind, it will always be flammable. Meanwhile, Low Fat cheese will not burn as easily, due to the opposite reason.
    2. Yes, some pills do burn in the oven, however, it depends on what they contain. If they contain sugar, they will burn into a crisp. This most likely would be a Chewable Tablet, meanwhile, some other things will only burn in small spots, due to containing one thing that burns, and multiple other's that don't. This will give them a kind of dapple effect. Capsules will melt, and whatever fluids or powders inside of them will react to the heat depending on their ingredients.
    3. Rice being mixed with Plastic has been disproven several times. So this point is basically useless.
    4. Said "Ground-up-Rocks" in Babyfood are most likely crushed Magnets, which will gather in one area when pulled by a stronger Magnetic Force. The code of conduct for producing Baby Food is very strict, and is not allowed to contain any harmful products, however, checking the ingredients is always recommended as to be sure that there are no ingredients your baby may be allergic to.
    5. When the seaweed was added to the "Fake-Milk", it was more than obvious that Dye was added to the milk. Even Jarvis covered this fact. The camera was zoomed in just enough to hide the dye being added, and even aside from that, Seaweed contains no blue to its colour, only very dark green. If it let off any colour at all, it would most likely be the same green colour you get from most plants, just a different shade due to the plant's hue.
    6. Ground Coffee will always sink eventually, no matter what is in it, however, the speed in which it floats depends on how, and when it was ground, The additives, and things like that. However, the speed can also be altered if there is a disturbance in the water, i.e. the glass shaking, as the water no longer stands still, forcing the grounds to fall quicker.
    7. Salt making the water cloudy does not contain Chalk, but instead another additive. It contains a powder which keeps it from clumping. This additive is entirely safe to consume, however, if you do not want this additive in your salt, you can buy a Salt Grinder, which allows you to ground the salt yourself, and does not give any chance of the salt clumping, leaving out the need for the additive entirely.
    8. A small clip shown in this video involved a cut of Steak, this is a complete lie which states that if you find a stretchy, white material in your steak or any other meat, it is Meat Glue. This is not Meat Glue, this is Fat, or horrible even Connective Tissue. (Connective tissue is very Thin, Transparent, and Tough, Far is chunkier, more Opaque, and much, much stretchier.) Meat glue, however, is in a granulated state before it is added. It is rubbed on dry, then the meat is rolled together tightly and chilled. If separated, said Meat Glue is very mushy and still has a granulated texture, nothing like Connective Tissue, or Fat.

    • @TREWAYGANG
      @TREWAYGANG 3 роки тому +2

      Wtf

    • @rosiepear7531
      @rosiepear7531 3 роки тому +12

      I thought fat was meat glue, I mean it keeps the 2 muscles together like glue

    • @cassius1078
      @cassius1078 3 роки тому +38

      Holy shit. I know you'll probably never read this because it's 8 months old, but damn that's some dedication to the topic to do all that research. Props to you for having that patience and going through with legitimate background to your statements and having actual information. Good job, m8

    • @stormyrain96
      @stormyrain96 3 роки тому +32

      Ah yes, every point made in How To Cook That, it's a really great video

    • @Bionicbutter43
      @Bionicbutter43 3 роки тому +2

      In fact! With fat in most red meats it's a good thing! It's called marbling! It's just melts when cooking and adds flavor

  • @jenniferkeatts7839
    @jenniferkeatts7839 5 років тому +2770

    so if cheese melts, its real, but if supplements melt theyre artificial? Oh boy, hope I dont get those two confused

    • @mydogwasbrian
      @mydogwasbrian 5 років тому +178

      No I thought it was if your chalk melts, then it will turn blue- crap, that's not right...

    • @DIGITALGH05T
      @DIGITALGH05T 5 років тому +53

      then again, folks should know american cheese isn't actually cheese, it literally says "cheese product" on the front

    • @yoyoyo879
      @yoyoyo879 5 років тому +21

      @@DIGITALGH05T Mine says 'cheese FOOD'

    • @DIGITALGH05T
      @DIGITALGH05T 5 років тому +13

      @@timob1681 im not saying american cheese is bad oe anything, im just saying ppl freaking out about american cheese when in reality they didnt read the label

    • @andychang575
      @andychang575 5 років тому +3

      What is the saturation limit of salt in water?

  • @dave___
    @dave___ 5 років тому +2147

    What I've learned from that food lifehack video is:
    trees are synthetic because they burn.

    • @riversloan8775
      @riversloan8775 5 років тому +11

      oh yeah yeah

    • @shoudehuang1244
      @shoudehuang1244 5 років тому +4

      yeah man

    • @Fred_the_1996
      @Fred_the_1996 5 років тому +30

      Rocks are synthetic because they melt

    • @ezequielbaltierra2644
      @ezequielbaltierra2644 5 років тому +3

      @@riversloan8775 yyhyhghhyhvh h.c yyyy

    • @tuna3777
      @tuna3777 5 років тому +2

      Didn't you post something like this on a zer0 video about how he only has 4 fingers

  • @luvmytrues
    @luvmytrues 5 років тому +4144

    Thanks to Blossom's food hack I found out I've been eating a Land Rover Range Rover Evoque 2.0 TD4 E-Capability 4x4 HSE Dynamic 4 Door Capacity

    • @peanutsinspace
      @peanutsinspace 5 років тому +140

      @@tallshortperson Oh my god, you too!?

    • @vesperious
      @vesperious 5 років тому +15

      100'th like :)

    • @luvmytrues
      @luvmytrues 5 років тому +11

      @@vesperious thanks :)

    • @hamanotaiki3591
      @hamanotaiki3591 5 років тому +108

      Just found out that the factory that made my favourite snack sacrifices virgins every week to appease the cheese gods

    • @mintchocolate4793
      @mintchocolate4793 5 років тому +57

      Oh my god, I've been eating spoon fulls of *wax* this whole time. I keep on forgetting to wash my ears before I do that.

  • @pterodactylsheriff599
    @pterodactylsheriff599 3 роки тому +119

    my brain didn’t process the fact that there’s a cameraman i just thought there was another jarvis holding the camera or it was floating or something

  • @tagon2381
    @tagon2381 4 роки тому +516

    Also fun fact about Calcium (element/salt calcium at least) - it’s not magnetic. In order for it to be magnetic, it has to have free electrons (basically be a negative ion). It can be magnetic through lab shenanigans, but there’s no way standard calcium can be magnetic. Especially with the iron (I’m pretty sure that’s iron at least) magnet they have.

    • @clairejasper1864
      @clairejasper1864 4 роки тому +17

      This comment is my new science class

    • @TREWAYGANG
      @TREWAYGANG 3 роки тому +5

      Ty teacher

    • @jasperjazzie
      @jasperjazzie Рік тому +5

      i love the phrase "lab shenanigans"

    • @girlwiththeblueglasses8284
      @girlwiththeblueglasses8284 Рік тому

      Was waiting for someone to say this - THANK YOU! I love these conspiracy channels that can’t even do basic research first😂

  • @jaylinbuchanan5886
    @jaylinbuchanan5886 4 роки тому +1735

    Jarvis: Dang it my lighter ran out of fluid
    Teresa: Wanna use my flamethrower?
    Jarvis: Why do you have this?
    Teresa: Don't worry about it.

  • @confusedcoffee3433
    @confusedcoffee3433 5 років тому +1186

    "Heating up rice is an unavoidable part of the cooking process." - Jarvis Johnson, 2019

    • @mcalkis5771
      @mcalkis5771 5 років тому +15

      The sky is blue.
      -McAlkis 2019

    • @charadreemurr2510
      @charadreemurr2510 5 років тому +14

      I eat everything raw

    • @schmikeschmolger5724
      @schmikeschmolger5724 5 років тому +1

      Horchata is made with rice, and doesn't require cooking it

    • @matthewl5434
      @matthewl5434 5 років тому

      Schmike Schmolger Korea also has a rice drink called “sikhye” only it is made with cooked rice and is served as dessert

    • @prowarlord12e66
      @prowarlord12e66 5 років тому +1

      i eat dry rice

  • @sparaxisblanc2473
    @sparaxisblanc2473 4 роки тому +334

    "Everything's a rock."
    *I'm an earth elemental*

    • @PentaSquares
      @PentaSquares 3 роки тому +11

      *Everything was fine until the fire nation attacked*

    • @cctomcat321
      @cctomcat321 3 роки тому +8

      Just don't sell cabbages and you'll be fine.

    • @hat7475
      @hat7475 3 роки тому +4

      I got stuck between Avatar : The Last Airbender and Slugterra (the elemental slug collecting and almost end arc)
      😭

    • @jenniferdunstan5065
      @jenniferdunstan5065 2 роки тому +1

      @@hat7475 why did you feel the need to remind me about slugterra

  • @Chaos_KunVT
    @Chaos_KunVT 5 років тому +3896

    “My roommate has a flamethrower” she is a cool roommate

    • @fork5
      @fork5 5 років тому +24

      Thor’s Squire very relatable

    • @pedromiguel748
      @pedromiguel748 5 років тому +47

      She is also one cutie pie!

    • @rafalswiniarski3866
      @rafalswiniarski3866 5 років тому +88

      who calls a blowtorch a flamethrower

    • @mynamefrbeisaac3969
      @mynamefrbeisaac3969 5 років тому +23

      Rafal Świniarski
      Omg I thought I was the only one who was confused af why he said that

    • @chompski98
      @chompski98 5 років тому +45

      yeah she smokes dabs. only reason someone has a full on propane torch in their house

  • @lauraespinoza6211
    @lauraespinoza6211 5 років тому +388

    "This is like a metaphor for America. Processed, artificial, o r a n g e." best quote ever

    • @Napoleonaugustusthefrog
      @Napoleonaugustusthefrog 4 роки тому +5

      My favorite quote is "not fragile like a flower but fragile like a bomb" frida kahlo and than "eat you weed kids"

  • @vanessaautumn4932
    @vanessaautumn4932 4 роки тому +606

    “Aww man, the lighter ran out of fluid!”
    “nah bro I got you I have a spare flamethrower under my bed”

  • @Hannah-zw9ow
    @Hannah-zw9ow 3 роки тому +36

    Spinach? Rock!
    Broccoli? Rock!
    Dwayne Johnson...? Rock! They’re all rocks!
    This had me absolutely rolling

  • @sophiawilliams2609
    @sophiawilliams2609 5 років тому +1222

    My broccoli water is green that means
    ‘THEY ARE ADDING FOOD COLORING TO MY FOOD’

    • @wuddupitsyaboi7917
      @wuddupitsyaboi7917 5 років тому +60

      REAL BROCCOLI MELTS

    • @Orangesodawk
      @Orangesodawk 5 років тому +50

      I washed my broccoli and it turned to cauliflower
      FOOD DYE

    • @KiraEnthusiast
      @KiraEnthusiast 5 років тому +2

      That's actually how the make broccoli...(JK idk

    • @justvibing9461
      @justvibing9461 5 років тому +11

      Didn't you know cauliflower is just the non-colored broccoli?

    • @bilalthefighter829
      @bilalthefighter829 5 років тому +1

      @@justvibing9461 -

  • @King-Midas
    @King-Midas 4 роки тому +10126

    Did you know oxygen is poisonous? Every person who has ever breathed oxygen has died

    • @johnnyuchiha3866
      @johnnyuchiha3866 4 роки тому +573

      O my god I’ve never knew I should hold my breath for the rest of my life

    • @DaxG-qp3jf
      @DaxG-qp3jf 4 роки тому +445

      Funny story intaking oxygen does contribute to our aging and dying. Hence antioxidants

    • @microwavedcheese
      @microwavedcheese 4 роки тому +208

      I mean yeh pure oxygen is poisonous and will kill ya

    • @SM-qv2om
      @SM-qv2om 4 роки тому +158

      What if oxygen is poisonous and it just takes a long time to kill us?

    • @makshawty8167
      @makshawty8167 4 роки тому +10

      ManOfCube LMAO

  • @nemo8200
    @nemo8200 5 років тому +1321

    Bold of you to assume that Japan hasn’t made seaweed milk

  • @august9241
    @august9241 3 роки тому +67

    How I imagine their conversation went:
    Jarvis: Do you have a lighter?
    Teresa: No, but I got a flame thrower
    Jarvis: WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT???????

  • @omallyct
    @omallyct 5 років тому +11635

    Smooth with the sponsor ad actually enjoyed it lmao

    • @ytirucsbo
      @ytirucsbo 5 років тому +208

      @Splotchiis it wasn't funny. It was fucking hilarious.

    • @dog.patter1558
      @dog.patter1558 5 років тому +44

      Same it was great

    • @Ze_eT
      @Ze_eT 5 років тому +46

      And it looked great, especially because he essentially talked with himself (As far as I am concerned).

    • @oppotato5440
      @oppotato5440 5 років тому +8

      It was amazing

    • @officerari
      @officerari 5 років тому +37

      Best sponsor ad I've ever seen

  • @mjallen1308
    @mjallen1308 5 років тому +1793

    The difference in the way processed and natural cheese melts when held to the flame is due to its fat content. Natural cheese has a higher fat content than processed cheese. Also all cheese is processed in some way. Cheese just doesn’t occur naturally.

    • @adina8064
      @adina8064 5 років тому +130

      El Chulito GA exactly the “natural cheese” melts because it contains more fat than the “processed cheese”. the whole blossom video is a huge fake conclusion i’m so glad more and more people are debunking it

    • @yoloyogurt7678
      @yoloyogurt7678 5 років тому +99

      Yep I learnt this whilst watching how to cook that she debunks slot of these

    • @tawnypelt1360
      @tawnypelt1360 5 років тому +71

      How to cook that also reacted to and explained that part of the video. Blossom got debunked by a chef

    • @brandonezdoofenshmirtz2916
      @brandonezdoofenshmirtz2916 5 років тому +47

      Liar, it occurs naturally in the kitchen when mommy goes to the store

    • @ScubaShark--8964
      @ScubaShark--8964 5 років тому +5

      Yep low fat cheese burns and High fat cheese melts

  • @jarvis
    @jarvis  5 років тому +3660

    like this if u got totally prank'd by blossom
    also ignore the thing i said about whole milk i’m dumb i understand please stop bullying me
    here’s some sources i forgot to include originally:
    www.snopes.com/fact-check/fake-real-food-tests/
    snopes is an easy jumping off point
    hoax-alert.leadstories.com/3470557-fake-news-16-tests-real-fake-food.html?fbclid=IwAR3ykzUztyA4XN1wdCW3GNxEwgL6KJ3RUSDu1RO8RUcN66rw-p7YNXa0h_8
    this was under the video on facebook before they took it down
    twitter.com/ariehkovler/status/1134929067940241409?s=21
    this thread links to a bunch of relevant studies and has context

  • @Mostlyharmless1985
    @Mostlyharmless1985 3 роки тому +34

    So, salt has a small amount of anti-caking agents, usually some form of sugar or polysacaride such as maltodextrin or dextrose. They wouldn't use chalk because A: It wouldn't work as an anti caking agent. and B: It's more expensive than salt.

  • @Ryleigh
    @Ryleigh 5 років тому +1763

    okay but I can't believe you actually did the hoodie crab thing

    • @brynbish8173
      @brynbish8173 5 років тому +35

      That was well and truly one of the most wonderful, blessed things I've seen this month

    • @rebagerace347
      @rebagerace347 5 років тому +12

      I can't believe Trista has a flame thrower.

    • @Ryleigh
      @Ryleigh 5 років тому +31

      @@rebagerace347 who doesn't have a flame thrower in their home I mean it's a staple home object

    • @imchoosingnottoexist6894
      @imchoosingnottoexist6894 5 років тому +2

      @@rebagerace347 I have a blow torch

    • @Thabosefoloshia
      @Thabosefoloshia 5 років тому +4

      Ryleigh we've all been there

  • @therun7024
    @therun7024 5 років тому +839

    I feel ashamed for laughing out loud at the AD...
    “Wow, this smells like.. THE PROPHECY”

  • @decrepitmanlet652
    @decrepitmanlet652 5 років тому +2625

    I love that you replaced “face” in Facebook with a real face

    • @This_is_a_username
      @This_is_a_username 5 років тому +40

      What if it was a book right behind the face lol

    • @hannahterry5881
      @hannahterry5881 5 років тому +3

      XD

    • @TheSurrealBoye
      @TheSurrealBoye 5 років тому +7

      Yeah nice touch, but I loved Jarvis' mouth saying the inappropriate part of "bullsh*t" being censored by Blossom's icon better. :D

  • @cupcakezrul2434
    @cupcakezrul2434 4 роки тому +309

    “This is like a metaphor for America. Processed, artificial, um... *orange* ”

  • @cf1179
    @cf1179 5 років тому +2892

    “This is like, a metaphor for America. Processed, artificial.... orange.”
    Can I get that framed?

    • @Catnip113
      @Catnip113 5 років тому +8

      Be my guest

    • @mhazg6621
      @mhazg6621 5 років тому +7

      Why orange? Idont get it

    • @70.rashidreyaz62
      @70.rashidreyaz62 5 років тому +40

      @@mhazg6621 trump

    • @mhazg6621
      @mhazg6621 5 років тому +8

      @@70.rashidreyaz62 ohh

    • @cf1179
      @cf1179 5 років тому +5

      This is the most likes I’ve ever had! 😊 thanks

  • @TheDukeOfMyRoom
    @TheDukeOfMyRoom 5 років тому +8787

    Trees burn, so trees are not natural. Take that teachers!

    • @yoloyogurt7678
      @yoloyogurt7678 5 років тому +150

      On the the contrary I like to consider weed as a tree sooo

    • @yoloyogurt7678
      @yoloyogurt7678 5 років тому +28

      But ye I get you

    • @mackr1940
      @mackr1940 5 років тому +66

      Put there by the government to make us believe in climate change

    • @merc065
      @merc065 5 років тому +23

      @@yoloyogurt7678 trees are weeds to roads, you don't want them in your way if you're a road.

    • @DAMAGEDCODA6669
      @DAMAGEDCODA6669 5 років тому +9

      i thought this was an intro to a poem

  • @yourneighborlytrashbirb9525
    @yourneighborlytrashbirb9525 5 років тому +1389

    very fake fact on coffee:
    Jarvis, an intellectual: iT's mY tIMe to sHInE

    • @bleb9608
      @bleb9608 5 років тому +7

      -I love your budgie-

    • @ms.honiqualisha4529
      @ms.honiqualisha4529 5 років тому +3

      www.snopes.com/fact-check/fake-real-food-tests/

  • @vaselini
    @vaselini 4 роки тому +53

    “This is like a metaphor for America, artifical, processed, _orange_ ”
    I CANT-

  • @card5509
    @card5509 5 років тому +1629

    Just remember people, all your meat has Elmer's glue in it and your ice cream is made of dishwashing liquid. Three smiles for disappointment!!! :)))

    • @THEPELADOMASTER
      @THEPELADOMASTER 5 років тому +5

      And what's it's name has shredded newspaper

    • @shash._.
      @shash._. 5 років тому +17

      Glue is made of Boxer, rip boxer, clover misses you

    • @meredithfalls2270
      @meredithfalls2270 5 років тому

      Are you sure they aren’t butt chins?

    • @fnkvx
      @fnkvx 5 років тому

      U had 399 like and i ruined it
      WAHAHAHAA

    • @highpeddle9543
      @highpeddle9543 5 років тому +3

      Then Elmer's glue daste delicious

  • @coffeevie
    @coffeevie 5 років тому +313

    11:30 Jarvis I'm a barista at a specialty coffee shop please don't attack me like this

  • @churrosforhope9112
    @churrosforhope9112 5 років тому +1493

    "When you decide to turn yourself into a hoodie crab"
    *We'Ve aLl bEeN thErE !*

  • @birthgravy
    @birthgravy 3 роки тому +30

    I love how Jarvis is both really funny and really informative at the same time, like I learn a lot of new things watching his videos lol

  • @markrebollido5551
    @markrebollido5551 4 роки тому +3188

    "When you're folding laundry and decide to turn yourself into a hoodie crab... We've all been there." -The greatest quote of all time

    • @archanashreedhar5089
      @archanashreedhar5089 4 роки тому +50

      I wanna be a hoodie crab

    • @TheForgorGaming
      @TheForgorGaming 4 роки тому +26

      My dad was a hoodie crab... turns out they have 1967354825 IQ

    • @captainskipper4858
      @captainskipper4858 4 роки тому +39

      Well idk man “turns out Teresa my roommate has a f*cking blow torch” is pretty good

    • @airotiv7916
      @airotiv7916 3 роки тому +1

      🤣🤣🤣👍👍

    • @eee8891
      @eee8891 3 роки тому +5

      I’ve actually been there 😬

  • @Kinderfanga
    @Kinderfanga 4 роки тому +2571

    Anyone else feel like Jarvis is a good role model for millennials, like all his friends are cool, he looks fit, he is a big brain boy, and he is really funny.

    • @maple_fields
      @maple_fields 4 роки тому +173

      Trix aRiaz Given that there are millennials turning 40 right now, he may be more of a role model for gen Z

    • @hyvnsky
      @hyvnsky 4 роки тому +16

      Xterminator Ultimate my younger brother feels attacked right now.

    • @fardifaalam605
      @fardifaalam605 4 роки тому +66

      Even in 2020, millennials' age range include 20somethings, too, as well as gen z. I guess we can agree with Xterminator Ultimate, he's a good role model for anybody.

    • @horse_stan6007
      @horse_stan6007 4 роки тому +31

      @@fardifaalam605 the youngest would be mid to late 20s because Gen z is college age and younger

    • @slkjvlkfsvnlsdfhgdght5447
      @slkjvlkfsvnlsdfhgdght5447 4 роки тому +6

      Man, the ageism in this thread

  • @snailmucus3921
    @snailmucus3921 5 років тому +687

    “Kids.... Eat your weed!”
    Jarvis 2019

    • @carlwebber4094
      @carlwebber4094 5 років тому +11

      And make sure your beans aren't roasted in March

    • @monkelove5725
      @monkelove5725 5 років тому +5

      “Kids.... Don’t eat your parents!”
      Idk someone 2019

    • @kaflack13
      @kaflack13 5 років тому +1

      WEEDEATER

    • @monkelove5725
      @monkelove5725 5 років тому

      PhantomRemix they were making a joke because quotes are funny for some reason

    • @monkelove5725
      @monkelove5725 5 років тому

      PhantomRemix r/woosh can literally be used by the people who miss the joke

  • @PentaSquares
    @PentaSquares 3 роки тому +15

    "Minerals bad"
    Literally everyone: well, guess I'll die.

  • @alienspaceship5326
    @alienspaceship5326 5 років тому +435

    salt really is mixed with chalk, rice flour, or other additives...
    it's used as an anti-caking agent so salt doesn't stick to itself and freely flows. The quantity used is minuscule unless you're consuming the whole container of salt; but then your bigger worry is salt poisoning, not the additives.

    • @alexsmith5311
      @alexsmith5311 5 років тому +16

      They also add it to powdered sugar for the same reason. Plus chalk is not bad for you.

    • @cyxie9227
      @cyxie9227 5 років тому +7

      there really is rice made out of plastic. It's illegal but it still happens very rarely. There are videos on youtube of people melting rice in their pan

    • @imdoingthisnowreally
      @imdoingthisnowreally 5 років тому +2

      So that explains why the salt we get is in giant hecking chunks... It's chalk-free.

    • @hazemalagha
      @hazemalagha 5 років тому

      Chalk isn't bad for you, it just tastes awful.

    • @loganiushere
      @loganiushere 5 років тому

      ImDoingThisNow Really :D

  • @androgynygoat
    @androgynygoat 5 років тому +334

    Wait? Cheese goes black when you torch it?
    How surprising that incomplete combustion produces soot.

    • @Managlyph
      @Managlyph 5 років тому

      @Quinn Cooney Complete combustion would produce a blue flame, like the torch.

    • @androgynygoat
      @androgynygoat 5 років тому

      @Quinn Cooney I'm no expert myself, but i believe that oxygen needs to be where the source of the flame is or something like that. Yellow flame normally means incomplete combustion though.

    • @TheCimbrianBull
      @TheCimbrianBull 5 років тому

      SootHouse

  • @unhappykappa5502
    @unhappykappa5502 5 років тому +534

    "Hey, what'cha up to?"
    "Oh nothing. Im BURNING CHEESE,"

  • @jesse3391
    @jesse3391 4 роки тому +44

    "I'm you from the fancy future"
    God, this mutiverse story from jarvis just keeps getting more complicated huh

  • @clevernamerighthere9240
    @clevernamerighthere9240 5 років тому +788

    “My roommate Teresa”
    Me: (sees sweet asian girl)
    “Has a flame thrower”
    Me:...I have questions...

    • @bignades1
      @bignades1 5 років тому +44

      Dabs, Teresa takes a lot of dabs, dab rigs need blow torches

    • @Coco-hq8vt
      @Coco-hq8vt 5 років тому +31

      @@bignades1 LMAOO I was gonna say creme brulee I didn't even think abt dabs

    • @laurasomebody
      @laurasomebody 5 років тому +14

      @@bignades1
      😂😂 I just posted that on this video, too... kitchen torches are different. 🍻

    • @JandJandJandJandJ
      @JandJandJandJandJ 5 років тому +9

      She dabs probably

    • @chaosstripe9446
      @chaosstripe9446 5 років тому +12

      Alternatively: It is used in certain trades, like jewelry making.

  • @andrewdotcom6770
    @andrewdotcom6770 4 роки тому +396

    I would never buy something that burns when I burn it

    • @DiMagnolia
      @DiMagnolia 3 роки тому +10

      This made me laugh so hard omg

  • @GlassesnMouthplates
    @GlassesnMouthplates 5 років тому +1326

    Things that trigger your chest pain:
    -Eating
    -Emotional stress
    -Recent travel
    -Pregnancy
    -Overusing Theresa's flamethrower

    • @xyellowcoffeexfatrat7923
      @xyellowcoffeexfatrat7923 5 років тому +21

      Especially if you aim the flamethrower at your own chest ; :')

    • @clarissarojas7959
      @clarissarojas7959 5 років тому +15

      No wonder my chest hurts so often. I’m always using Theresa’s flamethrower

    • @QueerAndHunger
      @QueerAndHunger 5 років тому +5

      DAMMIT! IVE BEEN USING HER FLAMETHROWER 24/7!!!

    • @annacreekmur436
      @annacreekmur436 5 років тому +4

      lmao i was eating cereal and had a chest pain WHILE READING THIS 😂😂😂

    • @yourneighborlytrashbirb9525
      @yourneighborlytrashbirb9525 5 років тому +4

      that must be some pretty bad heartburn

  • @smeedle0
    @smeedle0 4 роки тому +54

    I was eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when you said “If peanut butter and jelly tastes good to you, you have 5 years left to live. Sorry” Nice

    • @Jaithesaintt
      @Jaithesaintt Рік тому

      Check on you in 5

    • @roibiiin
      @roibiiin Рік тому +1

      @@Jaithesaintt Only three more years...

    • @smeedle0
      @smeedle0 Рік тому +1

      @@roibiiin oh good god

    • @meat._loaf
      @meat._loaf 10 місяців тому

      2 years! time is ticking

  • @longevilghastman3229
    @longevilghastman3229 4 роки тому +722

    That kraft joke was pretty cheesy

  • @timmonshardaway190
    @timmonshardaway190 5 років тому +894

    Jarvis : “ Cause it was roasted in March”
    Everyone : “ Checks video date “

    • @darkartsdabbler2407
      @darkartsdabbler2407 5 років тому +17

      Timmons Hardaway me: thinks about checking date... is too lazy

    • @kevinboyle3104
      @kevinboyle3104 5 років тому +10

      But the most important part is which march

    • @suned3128
      @suned3128 4 роки тому +2

      Kevin Boyle
      It would still be 3 months old at the youngest

    • @suned3128
      @suned3128 4 роки тому

      Kevin Boyle
      What do you mean by q5 months?

    • @smolminyoongi427
      @smolminyoongi427 4 роки тому

      666th like

  • @Leo-sp6cr
    @Leo-sp6cr 5 років тому +249

    “So my lighter ran out of fluid. Luckily, my roommate has a flamethrower”

  • @Z.A.N.E
    @Z.A.N.E 3 роки тому +14

    Jarvis: *going on about how smart he is when it comes to coffee*
    Me, an avid tea drinker: Trust me, your knowledge is being wasted on me, friend.

  • @cirquedutournesol
    @cirquedutournesol 5 років тому +1093

    "This is like a metaphor for America, processed, artificial..."
    Me: Orange?
    *"Orange"*
    Me: -wheeze-

  • @nickdeschrijver8985
    @nickdeschrijver8985 5 років тому +411

    "Calcium is a rock. Everything is a rock."
    me: *screams in rock*

    • @doopydoops2064
      @doopydoops2064 5 років тому +4

      *I* am rock, *you* are rock, *he/she/me*, ROCK

    • @vangla1482
      @vangla1482 5 років тому +2

      NO, *WE* ARE ROCKS!

    • @ElevenRats
      @ElevenRats 5 років тому

      THIS IS A BUCKET,
      IS THE BUCKET A ROCK?

    • @mhazg6621
      @mhazg6621 5 років тому +2

      Ah fuck it man. I laughed too much

    • @raghavkamath
      @raghavkamath 5 років тому

      Calcium is not even attracted to magnetic field XD

  • @danellegrover6866
    @danellegrover6866 5 років тому +1809

    "Eat your weed"
    -Jarvis Johnson 2019

  • @theunpoliticalravenclaw6347
    @theunpoliticalravenclaw6347 4 роки тому +69

    Jarvis: IT SMELLS LIKE THE PROPHECY!
    Harry Potter: No, don't like that.

  • @michaelcunningham4739
    @michaelcunningham4739 5 років тому +212

    "Because otherwise -"
    Please god dont say it
    "Udder-wise"
    Goddamn it

    • @user-hr3xg2cz7p
      @user-hr3xg2cz7p 5 років тому +1

      Michael Cunningham I am such a perfectionist so please ignore me. But I’m pretty sure it’s a Utter-Wise not Udder-Wise.
      I’m sorry I can’t control myself. It’s the same way when someone has bad grammar.

  • @snowqueen5417
    @snowqueen5417 5 років тому +197

    Jarvis's roommate: oh, you need something to light cheese on fire with? Wait here as I *PULL MY FLAMETHROWER OUT OF NO WHERE*

    • @Charcole_Bag
      @Charcole_Bag 5 років тому +8

      I get Sims 4 flash backs by just looking at this comment

  • @The1Fau
    @The1Fau 5 років тому +356

    My lighter broke but luckily my roommate...
    *panels to roommate and back*
    Has a flame thrower!
    I wasn’t expecting that XD

    • @kerbonzobeenz717
      @kerbonzobeenz717 5 років тому +1

      Bit extreme its only a blow torch

    • @paolo3739
      @paolo3739 5 років тому

      @@kerbonzobeenz717 *NO!* It's a f***ing flamethrower!😂

  • @Omnipresentponi
    @Omnipresentponi 4 роки тому +13

    13:28 jarvis looks like he's gonna kill Steve if he didn't say march

  • @Fishyboyo0
    @Fishyboyo0 4 роки тому +401

    with the “fake salt” if you look at the ingredients it will say anti caking agent and so what you see with the cloudiness is actually the anti caking agent and not chalk its because if it didn’t have it the salt would clump up and so it wouldn’t come out of the containers

    • @Hollowed_Moon
      @Hollowed_Moon 3 роки тому +21

      You see this person, right here? This is a smart person right here, we need more people like that

    • @hat7475
      @hat7475 3 роки тому +1

      👏👏

    • @quickfeather
      @quickfeather 3 роки тому +6

      man, i want cake

    • @eleanorajay3991
      @eleanorajay3991 3 роки тому +10

      Yeah people don't realize that they add "unnatural" ingredients for a reason, they're not all bad

    • @SuperUmizoomi
      @SuperUmizoomi 3 роки тому

      Also if your salt does clump and get stuck putting a bit of dry rice on the saltshaker helps avoid it, ive even seen it in some restaurants

  • @dora484
    @dora484 5 років тому +360

    one of my family members shared the original video and i reached out to her. apparently i can't be trusted because i work for big pharma. i'm studying to be a biology teacher lmao

  • @lejohn2682
    @lejohn2682 4 роки тому +421

    "Eat your weed."
    -Jarvis Johnson

    • @theman941
      @theman941 3 роки тому +7

      Eat your god damn weed

    • @johnstewart2668
      @johnstewart2668 3 роки тому

      ⠀⡯⡯⡾⠝⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢊⠘⡮⣣⠪⠢⡑⡌
      ⠀⠀⠀⠟⠝⠈⠀⠀⠀⠡⠀⠠⢈⠠⢐⢠⢂⢔⣐⢄⡂⢔⠀⡁⢉⠸⢨⢑⠕⡌
      ⠀⠀⡀⠁⠀⠀⠀⡀⢂⠡⠈⡔⣕⢮⣳⢯⣿⣻⣟⣯⣯⢷⣫⣆⡂⠀⠀⢐⠑⡌
      ⢀⠠⠐⠈⠀⢀⢂⠢⡂⠕⡁⣝⢮⣳⢽⡽⣾⣻⣿⣯⡯⣟⣞⢾⢜⢆⠀⡀⠀⠪
      ⣬⠂⠀⠀⢀⢂⢪⠨⢂⠥⣺⡪⣗⢗⣽⢽⡯⣿⣽⣷⢿⡽⡾⡽⣝⢎⠀⠀⠀⢡
      ⣿⠀⠀⠀⢂⠢⢂⢥⢱⡹⣪⢞⡵⣻⡪⡯⡯⣟⡾⣿⣻⡽⣯⡻⣪⠧⠑⠀⠁⢐
      ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠢⢑⠠⠑⠕⡝⡎⡗⡝⡎⣞⢽⡹⣕⢯⢻⠹⡹⢚⠝⡷⡽⡨⠀⠀⢔
      ⣿⡯⠀⢈⠈⢄⠂⠂⠐⠀⠌⠠⢑⠱⡱⡱⡑⢔⠁⠀⡀⠐⠐⠐⡡⡹⣪⠀⠀⢘
      ⣿⣽⠀⡀⡊⠀⠐⠨⠈⡁⠂⢈⠠⡱⡽⣷⡑⠁⠠⠑⠀⢉⢇⣤⢘⣪⢽⠀⢌⢎
      ⣿⢾⠀⢌⠌⠀⡁⠢⠂⠐⡀⠀⢀⢳⢽⣽⡺⣨⢄⣑⢉⢃⢭⡲⣕⡭⣹⠠⢐⢗
      ⣿⡗⠀⠢⠡⡱⡸⣔⢵⢱⢸⠈⠀⡪⣳⣳⢹⢜⡵⣱⢱⡱⣳⡹⣵⣻⢔⢅⢬⡷
      ⣷⡇⡂⠡⡑⢕⢕⠕⡑⠡⢂⢊⢐⢕⡝⡮⡧⡳⣝⢴⡐⣁⠃⡫⡒⣕⢏⡮⣷⡟
      ⣷⣻⣅⠑⢌⠢⠁⢐⠠⠑⡐⠐⠌⡪⠮⡫⠪⡪⡪⣺⢸⠰⠡⠠⠐⢱⠨⡪⡪⡰
      ⣯⢷⣟⣇⡂⡂⡌⡀⠀⠁⡂⠅⠂⠀⡑⡄⢇⠇⢝⡨⡠⡁⢐⠠⢀⢪⡐⡜⡪⡊
      ⣿⢽⡾⢹⡄⠕⡅⢇⠂⠑⣴⡬⣬⣬⣆⢮⣦⣷⣵⣷⡗⢃⢮⠱⡸⢰⢱⢸⢨⢌
      ⣯⢯⣟⠸⣳⡅⠜⠔⡌⡐⠈⠻⠟⣿⢿⣿⣿⠿⡻⣃⠢⣱⡳⡱⡩⢢⠣⡃⠢⠁
      ⡯⣟⣞⡇⡿⣽⡪⡘⡰⠨⢐⢀⠢⢢⢄⢤⣰⠼⡾⢕⢕⡵⣝⠎⢌⢪⠪⡘⡌⠀
      ⡯⣳⠯⠚⢊⠡⡂⢂⠨⠊⠔⡑⠬⡸⣘⢬⢪⣪⡺⡼⣕⢯⢞⢕⢝⠎⢻⢼⣀⠀
      ⠁⡂⠔⡁⡢⠣⢀⠢⠀⠅⠱⡐⡱⡘⡔⡕⡕⣲⡹⣎⡮⡏⡑⢜⢼⡱⢩⣗⣯⣟
      ⢀⢂⢑⠀⡂⡃⠅⠊⢄⢑⠠⠑⢕⢕⢝⢮⢺⢕⢟⢮⢊⢢⢱⢄⠃⣇⣞⢞⣞⢾
      ⢀⠢⡑⡀⢂⢊⠠⠁⡂⡐⠀⠅⡈⠪⠪⠪⠣⠫⠑⡁⢔⠕⣜⣜⢦⡰⡎⡯⡾⡽

    • @screw8934
      @screw8934 3 роки тому +2

      remember kids, weed is good

    • @goofyaahratproductions5580
      @goofyaahratproductions5580 3 роки тому +2

      @@johnstewart2668 i dont speak sussy baka

    • @scooterterrian7065
      @scooterterrian7065 3 роки тому +1

      I eat my weed every day!

  • @GLORIOUSCHONK
    @GLORIOUSCHONK 2 роки тому +4

    It's funny that they act like synthetic supplements are bad, when in reality a lot of what's "man made" is really good for you and can help solve problems surrounding deficiencies.

  • @madeinheaven8326
    @madeinheaven8326 4 роки тому +1760

    I think blossom is trying to cancel the life source of Asians

    • @mirandathepandakitty1630
      @mirandathepandakitty1630 4 роки тому +180

      I think that’s called attempting to commit genocide

    • @mistymoooooor
      @mistymoooooor 3 роки тому +181

      Blossom: rice is fake!
      The billions of people eating rice: 👁️👄👁️

    • @V-for-Vendetta01
      @V-for-Vendetta01 3 роки тому +85

      I probably have consumed kilograms of plastic by now

    • @AK-ir4cv
      @AK-ir4cv 3 роки тому +29

      @@V-for-Vendetta01I agree as I'm literally eating rice right now while binge watching Jarvis

    • @MarkAndrews12
      @MarkAndrews12 3 роки тому +18

      Then half of the world would be dead and I should be dead does that mean I'm immortal ohhhhhhhhhhhh

  • @bowserk.44
    @bowserk.44 4 роки тому +263

    Apparently the "chalk" in salt is actually anti caking agent, usually, which might be what causes the cloudy water.

    • @Lemilie
      @Lemilie 4 роки тому +19

      i read that as "anti chalking agent"

    • @madide3978
      @madide3978 4 роки тому +3

      It is because it is trying to dissolve and it is small pieces of salt

    • @froggy5748
      @froggy5748 2 роки тому +1

      @@Lemilie I read it as “anti-caulking agent”

  • @azabiphetamine
    @azabiphetamine 4 роки тому +353

    12:12 “They were roasted in March” is my favorite sentence forever.

    • @remem95
      @remem95 4 роки тому +28

      What really sold me on the joke was the villain laugh tho

    • @azabiphetamine
      @azabiphetamine 4 роки тому +3

      @@remem95 yesh

    • @MrEmmi-
      @MrEmmi- 4 роки тому +8

      12:58

  • @crunchybones3165
    @crunchybones3165 3 роки тому +3

    jarvis with usually: ✨🌸❤️🌷🥺🍬
    jarvis for no reason in this video: ⛓🖤🔥☕️⚫️🕶▪️🕷◼️🗡

  • @proteinone4855
    @proteinone4855 5 років тому +113

    A few things that can trigger chest pain after a date
    -heart disease
    -a heart attack
    -cancer
    - *COFFEE BEANS ROASTED IN MARCH*

  • @completelyoriginalname2701
    @completelyoriginalname2701 5 років тому +287

    “Smells like...the prophecy?”
    “Precisely.”
    You, my good sir have just murdered me and I’m suing.

  • @whyhellothere6855
    @whyhellothere6855 5 років тому +5136

    If rice was mixed with plastic, then my Asian ass would’ve died years ago 🙄

    • @motherofdogs7980
      @motherofdogs7980 5 років тому +262

      Calico Bunny My brazilian ass would of died years ago too

    • @theterribleanimator1793
      @theterribleanimator1793 5 років тому +197

      @@motherofdogs7980 considering we chug chemical waste on the daily here, probably not.

    • @motherofdogs7980
      @motherofdogs7980 5 років тому +63

      The Terrible Animator BAHAHAHAHA

    • @theishaanandankitashow
      @theishaanandankitashow 5 років тому +66

      I Also would’ve died years ago because I eat at least a plate of rice each day

    • @2350CST
      @2350CST 5 років тому +96

      Pretty much any one could’ve died because rice is popular.

  • @JuliaSTAY416
    @JuliaSTAY416 Рік тому +2

    I don’t have a reason, but this is one of my favorite videos of Jarvis… I’ve been watching this at least once a month for the last 3 years… takes me back to a little bit better time and plus my brother really liked it… maybe that’s why

  • @_synthicyde
    @_synthicyde 4 роки тому +486

    "oil, one of the cheapest things known to man."
    Well in 2020 it hit negative so i guess this is no longer sarcastic

    • @Conoert
      @Conoert 4 роки тому +3

      Thats crude oil

    • @lordbanetheplayer8844
      @lordbanetheplayer8844 4 роки тому +6

      @@Conoert But still. Atleast it's not cooking oil. OIh fuck! Nevermind.

    • @famweefood7073
      @famweefood7073 4 роки тому +5

      @@Conoert oil isn’t thaaaaat mean, sure he can go too far sometimes, but he’s a stand up guy.

  • @MilliwaysBartender
    @MilliwaysBartender 5 років тому +816

    "Everything is a rock."
    - Jarvis, 2019

  • @ashleymalx
    @ashleymalx 5 років тому +222

    The character you played when you were comparing the coffees was literally the most hilarious thing

    • @zt3853
      @zt3853 5 років тому +2

      Ashley Warner ikrrr

    • @coziigurl
      @coziigurl 5 років тому +2

      I watched it twice and I love how its easy to tell that he just bought the french press and the other thing

    • @gabistef2799
      @gabistef2799 5 років тому +2

      The sounds he makes are killing me in a good way

  • @thespartanstormtrooper3272
    @thespartanstormtrooper3272 4 роки тому +5

    “Everything’s a rock!” TOP TEN QUESTIONS SCIENTISTS STILL CAN’T ANSWER

  • @Micheal1075
    @Micheal1075 5 років тому +389

    My therapist: Jarvis book isn’t real, he can’t hurt you
    Jarvis book: 2:01

  • @jfrfilms6697
    @jfrfilms6697 5 років тому +285

    Jarvis as a supervillain: The beans were roasted in March! *maniacally laughs*

  • @zeroanimations851
    @zeroanimations851 5 років тому +862

    I think you’re the only one who makes the sponsorships enjoyable to watch

  • @LittleBitVic
    @LittleBitVic 2 роки тому +1

    In just the first five minutes, I laughed so hard that I cried, ran out of oxygen, and curled up on my bed in a blind, wheezing heap.
    Past the roommate blowtorch "flamethrower" comment, everything else was just cruel overkill. Lmao