Dear Katie , I discovered my husband had been having an affair 6 months before he dropped dead. The shame and rejection from his kids killed him. But what hurt me equally to the affair, (I did not blame the other woman ) she had no loyalty to me. was that my husband rubbished her before he died, whilst she was longing and waiting for him to leave me because of all his promises. I felt sorry for her. but I hated him. I am glad he is gone but she visits his grave. WE never have. I still feel sorry for her . She has chose n to remain shackled to him emotionally .
Build you own future. Try doing that with a man who’s not in a committed relationship with his wife. He’s a back stabber or he wouldn’t be cheating on his wife. He’d be doing you every now and then and he’s doing his wife all the time (probably tells you he’s not). So you’re being used and you two adulterers are ripping his soul bond with his wife all to hell. Statistics show that men usually don’t leave their wives and if they do and join the adulteress fling partner it doesn’t work out the vast majority of the time. Your wasting time getting used and all the while ruining other people’s relationships. The man wins. He gets to eat his wife and his whoredog too. Protect yourself. Respect yourself and respect other women. Don’t entertain an affair. You will get hurt deeply. Everyone will. If he’s cheating on his wife then he’ll cheat on you too because he’d already be cheating on you with his wife! You just believe the dickhead and think he’s not. 😂
I’m so sorry for your pain, however, as humans, we do owe loyalty to one another. If he/she knows that the individual is married or in a relationship and still pursue the relationship, YES, they are also culpable. A part of the Golden Rule is that you “Do unto others as you have them do unto you.” Luke 6:31.☮️
I had a coworker that is 11 years older than me, that when I was 22, hit on me eventhought he had been in a 6 year relationship with his girlfriend that lived with him. He only confessed his feelings to me after 3 months of him telling me about the irrational emotional outbursts his girlfriendnhad due to a jealousy she felt for me, and said he would leave her for me. I declined and also did not feel encouraged to approach her about it, because she had been insulting me and even been making racist comments about my asian roots to him. 2 years later when me and him were chatting again, he told me that he was considering cheating on her with another woman he met at his job, and I kept the messages and told him that he has a week to confess to his actions to her, and if he doesn't do it, I will do it by myself. He did not do it, and I messaged her on facebook, and asked her to meet up so she can know what her suspicions have been about. She got mad at me and said she does not care if I ever slept with him or not, and that she has no desire to speak to me. I told her that I was never interested in him and that I never slept with him, but that I feel she and I could have talked from woman to woman. Any of my loyalty towards this woman have not led anywhere, what I wanted to tell her was that this man was not loyal and that that is not because she is undeserving of it, it was easy for me to recognize that she is deserving of loyalty... I wish I could say it to you. You deserved better people.
Dont be too sorry for her. She had no problem causing pain to you and your kids. Your well being was not a priority. Stay safe and away from her. She never meant any good. You can forgive, but dont forget or over empathize.
you were totally groomed and taken advantage of. This was not two equal grown adults in an affair - this was a selfish in power man taking what he wanted from an inexperienced innocent. Appreciate you and you sharing.
So happy for you. I just left a loser. They all seem to groom us and check us out. I joined a new gym, got a female personal trainer. I swim daily. I don't miss the chaos of 8 mths of hell.
Why can’t women take responsibility for their emotions and choices? My wife cheated for as long as the narrator and did so many horrible things and put me through hell and I was loyal. And guess whose fault all of it was? Mine. I tried to leave her even when I didn’t know what was happening and she was treating me bad. Begged me to stay and recommitted, all the while she was screwing the other dude in secret and abusing my trust. We went to marriage counseling and she lied about the real issues. I have never heard of any man doing this, but I have heard of many women doing this.
glad you got out of toxicity. I was with a married man for 4 months not knowing he was married, but as soon as I found out, that's it, I left and never look back. Luckily I have always choose my self respect over relationship with any man. He kept reaching out though even after years of me leaving and ghosting him, but I remain in my silence and I hope my silence speaks louder, but I do wish him to fix his marriage and be happy, just not with me, no thank you, I don't need a cheater. His wife can have him. So I can somehow relate the feeling of being taken for granted, but forgiveness sets me free. bc the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference.
That happened to me too. I asked him if he was married or single. He said single. I didn't find out he was married until I was done with him. We were together for a year. I was at a mechanic shop and a friend of his asked if I had spoken with my ex. I said no. He told me his wife left him after she had their 2nd child. Disgusting man.
Kate you are brave . He abused you and conditioned you. As a wife, this is what separates you from the average other woman. Im so sorry this happened to you. I was conditioned by an older man and it messed me up mentally. Please be gentle on yourself. This was not your fault. ❤️ hugs
Even though she was a minor and likely innocent and easily manipulated, she still must take responsibility for the part she decided to play. At ages 17 - 24 is she was young & immature but most people know right from wrong - especially as time passed & the older she got. She was not forced and needs to own her part in the affair. 💕
@@katelondon01Older men do this constantly. It is so common. Especially with much younger women. Because they have all the power. And they get romance and are idolized by the younger woman. Cause often the older men are narcissists who have a lot of inner demons they haven't addressed.
What blows my mind is how long some of these affairs can go on for. Seven years?! Wow. Mine has been going on for just two, but for a long time it was just emotional cheating. It's quite interesting to me that men can't be faithful in their marriages, but can be faithful to their mistresses, in a strange way, for years. It makes me wonder why they don't just leave the wives if they are capable of being with a person (the side chick) for that long? Like, it's not like they keep having only one night stands-they carry on full out relationships with their side chicks! I try to understand it everyday and I just can't. I'm still trying to end this "relationship" with a married man because it's destroying me, but I'm still stuck in that stage where he pulls me back in every time I try to leave. Wish me luck. Thanks for sharing your story.
Don't try to understand. Just leave. And if you are young, he's wasting your fertile years and your youthful beauty that you should be using to attract someone good.
@@natashadickson4819 Yeah, I ended things with him not long after I wrote this comment and am now with a great guy who was single and has better morals. The cheater was so shocked and upset hahahaha
When it comes to a cheater, it’s synonymous with the word liar. There’s no such thing as being ‘faithful to a mistress’ because it’s not a valid relationship.👍
Omg girl thank u for doing this. This is so relatable . I've been in a similar situation with my best friend.but he isn't married , he is in a 2 year committed relationship. The things I felt was like HELL.i was literally in hell. One of the toughest things I had to go through concerning my love life.
Also I agree to the part that the third party, most of the times, has no intention in getting himself into these situations. Among the other feelings that you perfectly described, the person that you deal with fills your cup with hopes (through manipulation) and you start imaging those scenarios that you two will end up together and that he finally chooses you. This is a non stoppable internal conflict where at the end of the day yourself becomes your worst enemy
@@katelondon01 this is very recent. I have decided to cut him off but never told him because he never asked. (We were in some kind of on and offs). I experience feelings of emptiness now that I decided to end this ,but I know very well that this will serve me in the long run. Now I'm in the place where I have to confront myself in order to find out why I chose to be in that situation and this hurts the most. Do you have a channel where I could contact you in person??
Helping others who feel isolated in the pain of this or any type of affair can help spread the words of wisdom about how awful affairs generally are. I’m glad more women are coming forward like this to reach out for those still struggling. It seems like a really isolating problem in general - any affair. The secrecy and exclusivity fuel the excitement (for men like your boss) and feed into fanning the flames, protecting him and that lifestyle.
Build you own future. Try doing that with a man who’s not in a committed relationship with his wife. He’s a back stabber or he wouldn’t be cheating on his wife. He’d be doing you every now and then and he’s doing his wife all the time (probably tells you he’s not). So you’re being used and you two adulterers are ripping his soul bond with his wife all to hell. Statistics show that men usually don’t leave their wives and if they do and join the adulteress fling partner it doesn’t work out the vast majority of the time. Your wasting time getting used and all the while ruining other people’s relationships. The man wins. He gets to eat his wife and his whoredog too. Protect yourself. Respect yourself and respect other women. Don’t entertain an affair. You will get hurt deeply. Everyone will. If he’s cheating on his wife then he’ll cheat on you too because he’d already be cheating on you with his wife! You just believe the dickhead and think he’s not. 😂
I had an online affair almost a decade ago with a married man. He was the first person in forever I had really connected with and he said things to me that no one else had ever done, such as saying I was a soulmate and that he never known anyone else like me and he also called me sweetheart. It only lasted six weeks and I refused to meet him in person but it scarred me for years. Last week I Googled him and discovered that he got divorced earlier this year and also signed over the deed to the house to his wife's name. He never contacted me which tells me he met someone else willing to do the dirty work and either he got caught or told his wife about it. So all the things he said to me he apparently forgot. He forgot about me and continued to cheat. I feel horribly guilty for the pain I caused his wife at the time and I worry that I inadvertently gave him the confidence to come onto a new woman and that led to the breakup of his marriage.
The confusion and terror is real. Once I identified it as manipulation and coercion and being targeted. That reality dismantled me. The only way out was no contact ever again.......
@@katelondon01 thank you. I started watching your videos when the affair started. I knew it wasn't going to end pretty. I think on some level, I knew already where it was headed.
@@karenb1627once you call the manipulator/narcissist on his/her crap, you've disarmed him/her and they are enraged cause then they have to face themselves which they don't want to do cause they're dead inside.
My situation regarding being the other woman was me dealing with someone since 16 im 34 now. He is not married but in a relationship with someone else. I've only ever been the other woman when I dealt with him. I was around before anyone he ever had a relationship with he just never chose to be in one with me. I only deal with him when I'm single but no matter who he's with he wouldn't leave me alone. I never initiated our relationship but always engaged. I thought I was in love because he's the only man who ever been in my life who never left. No matter who we dealt with we always eventually came back to eachother. The situation ended for good in June of this year.
Hi Quay Hall, Thankyou for sharing your experience with us all. My heart goes out to you in this time of healing and finding your footing after such a long time being closely connected with this person. I'm sure it may be still quite raw and I hope this community can support you through that healing 💕
When I first clicked, it was as a voyeur - who stays in something like this 7+ years?!? And as a betrayed wife... to understand better how the husband gets away with it with you. But you are so young. So so so so so young and beautiful. The naivete and innocence of youth itself... explain so much. Hearing your story makes me realize you weren't really in an affair - you were used by like a child abuser, especially in such an isolated farm situation. I feel you were victimized more so than like, a knowing, willing, partner in an affair, and partly by your own hormones at that age. Immediately, I sense more compassion for the pain you must have been in than I could fear, hurt, judgement, or condemnation. You said it - you were in a trauma bond. I can't even imagine how trapped and how confusing this first experience with romance must have been for you. I can't even imagine how confusing and daunting that must have felt.You deserved better. I'm so sorry this happened to you. The more of these stories I hear / see, the more I realize how sadistic, cruel, and abusive some people are out there. And look, innocents like you are forced to learn these painful lessons and be so brave like this and courageous to share their stories to help others. I worry you may have been hired / used as a sex slave. This may qualify as trafficking, depending on what country it may have happened in. If they were paying you as a nanny but the man was using you as a sex worker. You don't seem like you would have been nearly old enough to understand the full utter destruction that affairs cause. I see you as a victim of an abuser rather than a woman knowingly in an affair situation. The fear of being exposed, of losing employ, lifestyle, home living situation would be so powerful. Let alone the respect of the world around you because he was married. And it started when you were only 17!?!? You were just a girl, a teenager. You were used and manipulated. Even if you were willing and in that location, you had reached the age of consent... you were still so so so young.... Please don't blame yourself as a typical "other woman". I can't see you that way when you're that young and naive, plus isolated by the farm situation. The compliment of that attention at that age especially would intoxicate anybody, especially if it was the first time with the physical aspects of romance. I'm so sorry this happened to you. And look how far you've come, and how courageous you are now - to share this in hopes of helping others. Good on you. Consider forgiving yourself not as an "other woman" deceiving the family (although you were). As an exercise, learn some facts about sex work, and how women, especially young women, fall into it. You know, most girls don't chose that work who are in it. They've often gotten manipulated and news stories every few years show families who have hired an o'pair or something and wound up keeping the person almost prisoner as a sex slave. You didn't have to be kept by physical force. You were so mentally manipulated by the dependence on your abuser. I don't know you or your situation, but when I hear your story, it seems so different from other "other woman" stories I hear by fully grown, experienced, adults who knowingly engage in romancing a married man with children. You seem even now way too young at the time to have completely understood the utter destruction caused by affairs - and in fact, finding out about you might have helped the wife realize the level of the abuse he was pulling over her as well, and might have helped her get out of it and away from him. By hiding him, you helped him continue. I'm so so so sorry this happened to you and I hope those kids got away from that situation, and the wife into a healthier one. Like you got support and are getting healthier and stronger from it. Sad you had to learn the lesson like this, though. Sad for you. Admire the strength of this share. Keep your head up. Nothing to be ashamed of. You couldn't have known or realized what it would turn into and probably would not have chosen to work there if you'd had a crystal ball show you the future there.
Hi Kate, thank you for sharing and keep going. This is what we need to help strengthen our marriages, families and communities as affairs are so part of the normal today that people have accepted it. You brave in sharing, keep it up you will change lives.
I truly appreciate the supportive comment David. 🙏 I still brace myself when opening the new comments. It was so lovely and empowering to open it and see this instead🙏 Thankyou
So many predators in life. They go into certain positions because they have this addiction. It could happen to young and old. These people that prey on others are sociopaths and many are narcissistic. Glad she put this stuff out there. It helps others.
Thank you @theheartwecarry 🤍 It definitely came with some sleepless nights in the beginning, even when posting this video! But the gift of helping so many is undeniably worth it 🤍
you are doing such a service with your channel here. thank you so much for all that you're sharing. your vulnerability is much appreciated and I find your insight so valuable. I found so much understanding in this
I’ve been with someone for 11 yrs now. Im losing myself trying to leave this situation. Im 54, he 41! I need to move, I feel like I can’t. Im dead inside.
When you hear that voice in your head tell you that you can’t move, know that it’s a LIE. You CAN change, you can break it off. It will hurt but you can do it. The pain is temporary and it WILL get better. Shore up your resources, get as much support as you can, hopefully you can leave town & visit loved ones on a weekend. If you break it off on a Friday & you’re gone you will miss him potentially banging on your door. Tell him you both knew it wasn’t the right thing to do all along. Treat yourself with TLC as if you have a bad case of the flu. Stock your most comforting foods and get your favorite blankets. Stock up on tissues. Get the phone number of someone you trust - even if it’s a therapist. Think about adopting an adorable pet to love just to feel love and to have someone to talk to on the daily. (My poor puppy dog knows all of my secrets. 😂) Consider joining a new church family. Block / delete everything your ex sent / get rid of all the gifts & loving cards and move forward with your life. The pain is TEMPORARY. You have a whole new future to build and you CAN find a man who can give you 100% of himself someday. You deserve BETTER. You deserve nothing less. 💕
Dear Kate, I‘m deeply moved by your very personal story, your courage to share it and the positive impact it is definitely going to have on thousands of people out there. You are a brave, strong woman that really grew unbelievably from this heartbreaking experience. I wish you all the best, keep on doing what you are doing. And by the way: Men may also be among your audience ;-)
Hi Marty, Thank you so much for those kind and supportive words. I'm sure there are many men out there going through this experience. It's so hard to find support out there for the "other woman" let alone the other man so it's so lovely to hear that you are here. Welcome! If you would like to connect, I would love to. calendly.com/katelondon/call
I'm not really sure why some of the comments on here are very judgmental and negative ....obviously people are watching this video because they're in an affair or were affected by an affair... If you're not in it or have not experienced it, you have no right to make any type of comments. Self righteousness has no place here.
UA-cam is a public space where anyone can upload their video or pass comment, whether judgemental or kind. Most people view screwing around with married people harshly because it's straight up nasty, untrustworthy behaviour. It's why only a cheat would allow a cheat in their own life. This woman holds common ground with others who follow a similar path. Hopefully she's doing better
I said to my therapist that I got involved with a married man and that I want out of that role of a mistress - she mocked me and said I was conservative and that everyone is doing it now. I stopped seeing her and got myself out of that shit... it was long and painful process, and had lasting emotional and psychological effects long after I stopped sleeping with him. horrible experience.
Hearing this - that you felt you could do no right for him in your nanny work but only on the sexual den… it seems like this person may have been a narcissist or covert narcissist. When you’re “the one” in a real man’s eyes, you can do no wrong. A man who loves you cherishes you too much to denigrate you this way or risk your soul and spirit - that in you he so admires.
I know other people already said it in this video but wow! That man totally groomed you. This is not a typical or average affair at all because there is a huge power imbalance. You were only 17 years old when it started and were still figuring life out. Thats crazy! So sorry you went through that.
I am tryimg to get out-of 9 mths of pure manipulation...with a partner. I joined a new gym. Changig a lot of things. It is very challenging. Thank you for helping others. You are very intelligent. I feel empowered when I listen to you.
Hi Kate, I am just after seeing your video. You are very brave to share your story. You were young and Naive and probably felt afraid not to be continuing to fulfill this very Selfish Man who took advantage of your innocence.I can totally relate to this. I was very young.I did not have much experience with Men when I got tricked into an 8 Month relationship thinking I was with an available Man but he only confessed to been Married after getting his way with me Sexually. He was very Coercive and domineering and forced me to engage in Sexual Activity even though I was only getting to know him. I felt Shame for years and at times still do knowing now that a Married Man touched me in such an intimate way. Even when he admitted he was Married he still wanted to be getting intimate with me. I was having none of it and he had to leave but he did not want to. I am so glad I managed to get him to go. I would never have gotten involved if I knew he was Married.
Thankyou for sharing your story with us Olivia Smith. There is defiantly so much learning and understanding that comes with time and age. I hope you have been able to heal and grow from this challenging experience 💕
At least you have the conscience to feel pain and shame for having an affair with a married man. I know of a woman who never had these feelings, in fact she was proud of the fact that she had a married boyfriend exclusively for more than two years. She introduced the married man to her family, especially to her mother. The married man was happy to be included in her family as long as he could continue the relationship with her.
@@kittykittybangbang9367 This is indeed sickening! I am sure nothing good is going to come out once the wife finds out about the affair. Their children are the true victims of their father's sin!
Build you own future. Try doing that with a man who’s not in a committed relationship with his wife. He’s a back stabber or he wouldn’t be cheating on his wife. He’d be doing you every now and then and he’s doing his wife all the time (probably tells you he’s not). So you’re being used and you two adulterers are ripping his soul bond with his wife all to hell. Statistics show that men usually don’t leave their wives and if they do and join the adulteress fling partner it doesn’t work out the vast majority of the time. Your wasting time getting used and all the while ruining other people’s relationships. The man wins. He gets to eat his wife and his whoredog too. Protect yourself. Respect yourself and respect other women. Don’t entertain an affair. You will get hurt deeply. Everyone will. If he’s cheating on his wife then he’ll cheat on you too because he’d already be cheating on you with his wife! You just believe the dickhead and think he’s not. 😂
My closest friend was like that when she cheated on me with my husband for 2+ years. Proud of it (told everyone that my husband would allow) while also encouraging me to confide my fears and heartaches about the troubles in my marriage to her (then used them to endear herself more to my husband). For 2 years she never was nervous around me or acted guilty. In fact, she tended to act superior to me, although at the time i didn't know why. It has been 4 years since the affair ended and she has never come clean to me or asked for forgiveness. She still denies she did anything wrong and says she's the victim despite the proof that she wasn't from all the people she told. She thinks my husband treated her unfairly for choosing to try to keep his family together rather than stay with her. I'm not defending my husband, he's a dick for what he did, but she knew me, she knew our very young children, she knew how much I loved him, and she still chose to pursue him, to do whatever she could to break up our marriage and was determined to take whatever she could of the rubble for herself. Needless to say, I don't really have friends anymore.
I was in a 2 month affair (I ended it, he wanted to continue. So I ghosted and blocked him.). What you said about the universe gifting you experiences so you can grow is 100% relatable and this is something I would never ever do, and now that I’ve done it, I will never ever do it again. What I’m feeling now is guilt, I feel like the wife needs to know the truth. She deserves to know the lying pos she is sharing her home with. I’ve had people tell me I don’t have anything to feel guilty about and that I shouldn’t get involved and that most likely she has her suspicions already and he will have no choice but to tell her sooner or later.
Hi Forest Fairy, Thankyou for sharing your experience. Well done for walking away in the early stages of the affair. 💕 You are not alone in this feeling that comes after ending it. Sending you support and love through this time of navigating your feelings ✨
Adults, of consenting age, if you are the other person from the very start, that's who you have agreed to be, and that's who you will continue to be. You can't expect change. You will have to live a life of compromise or leave. Remember you made a choice. It's always your choice.
Personal injury, and they might extend the statute of limitations because you were a minor and/or if your mental injuries didn’t manifest until later. PTSD symptoms can emerge long, long after. There are also torts with longer statutes of limitations related to harassment, contracts etc. But probably what holds you back most would be feeling bad for “inflicting” that on him and his family, and any lingering longing to see the good in this person, which is natural. But attitudes are changing, laws are catching up, in part due to the MeToo movement etc. This is a situation with a serious power imbalance and some therapists - like mine - would have absolutely no hesitation calling this abuse. One thing I think about is the fact that the only way certain people have any hope of “improving” is by hitting rock bottom and having what they’ve done, in a situation like court. That’s what’s helping me in pursuing a lawsuit against my ex AP who got me fired from my job in retaliation, but whom I still long to think of as a “good person” even in spite of that.
As a betrayed spouse I cannot feel sympathy for a person who gets involved with a married person … it rarely ends up being the dream relationship as they rarely leave the spouse … the shame may be bad but it is deserved … love yourself enough to choose an available partner do not contribute to destroying families
Exactly this. So often the other woman wants to play the victim and even the hero of the story. Meanwhile what they are getting off on is the destruction of a family while putting all of the blame on the dumb ass cheating husband. Otherwise they would choose single sexual partners. I think there is an aspect of sexual deviancy in the power that comes from being able to destroy the sanctity of a family by being the other woman.
@@goodgolly8465 the only home wrecker is the one that has a home and consciously goes elsewhere looking for whatever he lacks at home. hard pill to swallow. and nobody needs empathy of the cheated wife, even though she is the one that gets plenty of it since she is socially marked as a "victim". however, throughout the entire duration of the affair she was actually profiting from it. Teal Swan and Esther Perel address the whole affair triangle most precisely...
It’s not even so much the age. It’s that there were several first experiences. I’m shocked that you weren’t pursued in high school? How did that not happen. That’s a shame it happened that way. Not quite the content I was researching. This doesn’t. Count quite as an affair but more of power dynamic of an adolescent who was employed and isolated. But still technically an affair. I’m sorry it happened that way. It would have happened to almost anyone under those circumstances so try not to beat yourself up too much. One day at a time…. Then seven years pass
Please study narcissism or covert narcissism and sex worker stories of how they get tricked and trapped into it. Not to horrify you, but to see that you are not alone and you were victimized by somebody who knew better. Look at all the betrayed wives on here getting protective of you - like a daughter - in the comment section. I had to study sex work as part of my Uni major in International Studies. There are literal classes in human trafficking. You might have been lucky this man didn’t sell your *service* to other farmer friends and whatnot. He is, too, legally. That he chose not to go that route. Plenty do. This doesn’t seem like a man who fell for a bright young soul into an affair. This seems like a guy with bad intentions, who hid them maybe even from himself at first. But certainly entertained them long enough to know better to take advantage of you, your youth, your naïveté, your desire to please and to do well for his family and for him. The power dynamic was messed up there. Not you. You’re good, girlfriend. Stand strong.
It takes two don't always blame female the male probably said he wanted to leave his partner and was madly in love with new love. . My ex husband left me for someone else - it happens sadly. We can't make someone love you. Blame your husband he was married shouldn't go there.
how bout being lied to by the married man bout being married and being snipped..... Wait for the ending raising a child on your own cause when I found out the truth he became a ghost...... He was so ashamed of his lies he refuse to help me raise our son That was 17 years ago and glad Ive never seen him since
I just got divorce n my high school bf get back together but he is married they don't have children.for 33 yrs. we never kiss so when we met again n kiss n all those the feelings comeback .we talk from the moment he wakes up while going to work n during work hrs.till he goes home n even when his next to his wife we txt I know he loves me but I don't know why he don't leave her maybe he's scared to start his life again I don't know if better to let him go or fight for what we have
He won’t leave because he loves her too. You will be the one hurt in this. You probably won’t leave but it’s in your best interest to leave him. There is someone out there for you. I wish you the best.
The blatant truth is that you don't have ANYTHING. The chance he will leave her is zero. Get out before this gets any more messy, because it will not end well.
Can you explain why the woman having the affair would feel shame? My wife is in an affair, and she seems happy and high functioning at her job. She doesn't know I'm filing for divorce. But she seems to be handling the affair, house work and her job without a problem.
It seems like you are, till this day, by posting such a judgemental comment after her explaining what her background was. Be passive aggressive with the one you're really angry about...
Dear Katie , I discovered my husband had been having an affair 6 months before he dropped dead. The shame and rejection from his kids killed him. But what hurt me equally to the affair, (I did not blame the other woman ) she had no loyalty to me.
was that my husband rubbished her before he died, whilst she was longing and waiting for him to leave me because of all his promises. I felt sorry for her. but I hated him. I am glad he is gone but she visits his grave. WE never have. I still feel sorry for her . She has chose n to remain shackled to him emotionally .
Build you own future. Try doing that with a man who’s not in a committed relationship with his wife. He’s a back stabber or he wouldn’t be cheating on his wife. He’d be doing you every now and then and he’s doing his wife all the time (probably tells you he’s not). So you’re being used and you two adulterers are ripping his soul bond with his wife all to hell. Statistics show that men usually don’t leave their wives and if they do and join the adulteress fling partner it doesn’t work out the vast majority of the time. Your wasting time getting used and all the while ruining other people’s relationships. The man wins. He gets to eat his wife and his whoredog too. Protect yourself. Respect yourself and respect other women. Don’t entertain an affair. You will get hurt deeply. Everyone will. If he’s cheating on his wife then he’ll cheat on you too because he’d already be cheating on you with his wife! You just believe the dickhead and think he’s not. 😂
How long was his affair. Was it for years?
I’m so sorry for your pain, however, as humans, we do owe loyalty to one another. If he/she knows that the individual is married or in a relationship and still pursue the relationship, YES, they are also culpable. A part of the Golden Rule is that you “Do unto others as you have them do unto you.” Luke 6:31.☮️
I had a coworker that is 11 years older than me, that when I was 22, hit on me eventhought he had been in a 6 year relationship with his girlfriend that lived with him. He only confessed his feelings to me after 3 months of him telling me about the irrational emotional outbursts his girlfriendnhad due to a jealousy she felt for me, and said he would leave her for me.
I declined and also did not feel encouraged to approach her about it, because she had been insulting me and even been making racist comments about my asian roots to him. 2 years later when me and him were chatting again, he told me that he was considering cheating on her with another woman he met at his job, and I kept the messages and told him that he has a week to confess to his actions to her, and if he doesn't do it, I will do it by myself.
He did not do it, and I messaged her on facebook, and asked her to meet up so she can know what her suspicions have been about.
She got mad at me and said she does not care if I ever slept with him or not, and that she has no desire to speak to me.
I told her that I was never interested in him and that I never slept with him, but that I feel she and I could have talked from woman to woman.
Any of my loyalty towards this woman have not led anywhere, what I wanted to tell her was that this man was not loyal and that that is not because she is undeserving of it, it was easy for me to recognize that she is deserving of loyalty...
I wish I could say it to you. You deserved better people.
Dont be too sorry for her. She had no problem causing pain to you and your kids. Your well being was not a priority. Stay safe and away from her. She never meant any good. You can forgive, but dont forget or over empathize.
you were totally groomed and taken advantage of. This was not two equal grown adults in an affair - this was a selfish in power man taking what he wanted from an inexperienced innocent. Appreciate you and you sharing.
Thankyou 🙏🙏
This! I’m so sorry you went through this. This is not your fault. He’s the pos here
So happy for you. I just left a loser. They all seem to groom us and check us out. I joined a new gym, got a female personal trainer. I swim daily. I don't miss the chaos of 8 mths of hell.
Why can’t women take responsibility for their emotions and choices? My wife cheated for as long as the narrator and did so many horrible things and put me through hell and I was loyal. And guess whose fault all of it was? Mine. I tried to leave her even when I didn’t know what was happening and she was treating me bad. Begged me to stay and recommitted, all the while she was screwing the other dude in secret and abusing my trust. We went to marriage counseling and she lied about the real issues. I have never heard of any man doing this, but I have heard of many women doing this.
So you're available for the next guy who will also slip you money on the sly.
glad you got out of toxicity. I was with a married man for 4 months not knowing he was married, but as soon as I found out, that's it, I left and never look back. Luckily I have always choose my self respect over relationship with any man. He kept reaching out though even after years of me leaving and ghosting him, but I remain in my silence and I hope my silence speaks louder, but I do wish him to fix his marriage and be happy, just not with me, no thank you, I don't need a cheater. His wife can have him.
So I can somehow relate the feeling of being taken for granted, but forgiveness sets me free. bc the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference.
👏👏👏
That happened to me too. I asked him if he was married or single. He said single. I didn't find out he was married until I was done with him. We were together for a year. I was at a mechanic shop and a friend of his asked if I had spoken with my ex. I said no. He told me his wife left him after she had their 2nd child. Disgusting man.
Kate you are brave . He abused you and conditioned you. As a wife, this is what separates you from the average other woman.
Im so sorry this happened to you. I was conditioned by an older man and it messed me up mentally.
Please be gentle on yourself. This was not your fault. ❤️ hugs
Thankyou Dear Diary, it definitely was a big learning experience. I appreciate your kind words and support 💕
Even though she was a minor and likely innocent and easily manipulated, she still must take responsibility for the part she decided to play.
At ages 17 - 24 is she was young & immature but most people know right from wrong - especially as time passed & the older she got.
She was not forced and needs to own her part in the affair. 💕
@@katelondon01Older men do this constantly. It is so common. Especially with much younger women. Because they have all the power. And they get romance and are idolized by the younger woman. Cause often the older men are narcissists who have a lot of inner demons they haven't addressed.
What blows my mind is how long some of these affairs can go on for. Seven years?! Wow. Mine has been going on for just two, but for a long time it was just emotional cheating. It's quite interesting to me that men can't be faithful in their marriages, but can be faithful to their mistresses, in a strange way, for years. It makes me wonder why they don't just leave the wives if they are capable of being with a person (the side chick) for that long? Like, it's not like they keep having only one night stands-they carry on full out relationships with their side chicks! I try to understand it everyday and I just can't. I'm still trying to end this "relationship" with a married man because it's destroying me, but I'm still stuck in that stage where he pulls me back in every time I try to leave. Wish me luck. Thanks for sharing your story.
26 years! It's NOT easy. 😢
@@bekind3050Omg...😢
Don't try to understand. Just leave. And if you are young, he's wasting your fertile years and your youthful beauty that you should be using to attract someone good.
@@natashadickson4819 Yeah, I ended things with him not long after I wrote this comment and am now with a great guy who was single and has better morals. The cheater was so shocked and upset hahahaha
When it comes to a cheater, it’s synonymous with the word liar. There’s no such thing as being ‘faithful to a mistress’ because it’s not a valid relationship.👍
Omg girl thank u for doing this. This is so relatable . I've been in a similar situation with my best friend.but he isn't married , he is in a 2 year committed relationship. The things I felt was like HELL.i was literally in hell. One of the toughest things I had to go through concerning my love life.
Also I agree to the part that the third party, most of the times, has no intention in getting himself into these situations. Among the other feelings that you perfectly described, the person that you deal with fills your cup with hopes (through manipulation) and you start imaging those scenarios that you two will end up together and that he finally chooses you. This is a non stoppable internal conflict where at the end of the day yourself becomes your worst enemy
I’m glad to hear you got value out of it Nissa 🙏 Are you still going through all this or are you out of the pain now?
@@katelondon01 this is very recent. I have decided to cut him off but never told him because he never asked. (We were in some kind of on and offs).
I experience feelings of emptiness now that I decided to end this ,but I know very well that this will serve me in the long run. Now I'm in the place where I have to confront myself in order to find out why I chose to be in that situation and this hurts the most. Do you have a channel where I could contact you in person??
Helping others who feel isolated in the pain of this or any type of affair can help spread the words of wisdom about how awful affairs generally are. I’m glad more women are coming forward like this to reach out for those still struggling. It seems like a really isolating problem in general - any affair. The secrecy and exclusivity fuel the excitement (for men like your boss) and feed into fanning the flames, protecting him and that lifestyle.
Thankyou for your support brightpage1020 ❤
Build you own future. Try doing that with a man who’s not in a committed relationship with his wife. He’s a back stabber or he wouldn’t be cheating on his wife. He’d be doing you every now and then and he’s doing his wife all the time (probably tells you he’s not). So you’re being used and you two adulterers are ripping his soul bond with his wife all to hell. Statistics show that men usually don’t leave their wives and if they do and join the adulteress fling partner it doesn’t work out the vast majority of the time. Your wasting time getting used and all the while ruining other people’s relationships. The man wins. He gets to eat his wife and his whoredog too. Protect yourself. Respect yourself and respect other women. Don’t entertain an affair. You will get hurt deeply. Everyone will. If he’s cheating on his wife then he’ll cheat on you too because he’d already be cheating on you with his wife! You just believe the dickhead and think he’s not. 😂
I had an online affair almost a decade ago with a married man. He was the first person in forever I had really connected with and he said things to me that no one else had ever done, such as saying I was a soulmate and that he never known anyone else like me and he also called me sweetheart. It only lasted six weeks and I refused to meet him in person but it scarred me for years. Last week I Googled him and discovered that he got divorced earlier this year and also signed over the deed to the house to his wife's name. He never contacted me which tells me he met someone else willing to do the dirty work and either he got caught or told his wife about it. So all the things he said to me he apparently forgot. He forgot about me and continued to cheat. I feel horribly guilty for the pain I caused his wife at the time and I worry that I inadvertently gave him the confidence to come onto a new woman and that led to the breakup of his marriage.
The confusion and terror is real. Once I identified it as manipulation and coercion and being targeted. That reality dismantled me. The only way out was no contact ever again.......
Very real Well done for drawing that boundary Karen 💛
@@katelondon01 thank you. I started watching your videos when the affair started. I knew it wasn't going to end pretty. I think on some level, I knew already where it was headed.
@@karenb1627once you call the manipulator/narcissist on his/her crap, you've disarmed him/her and they are enraged cause then they have to face themselves which they don't want to do cause they're dead inside.
You'll feel differently eventually, when the same conditions happen again.
My situation regarding being the other woman was me dealing with someone since 16 im 34 now. He is not married but in a relationship with someone else. I've only ever been the other woman when I dealt with him. I was around before anyone he ever had a relationship with he just never chose to be in one with me. I only deal with him when I'm single but no matter who he's with he wouldn't leave me alone. I never initiated our relationship but always engaged. I thought I was in love because he's the only man who ever been in my life who never left. No matter who we dealt with we always eventually came back to eachother. The situation ended for good in June of this year.
Hi Quay Hall, Thankyou for sharing your experience with us all. My heart goes out to you in this time of healing and finding your footing after such a long time being closely connected with this person. I'm sure it may be still quite raw and I hope this community can support you through that healing 💕
When I first clicked, it was as a voyeur - who stays in something like this 7+ years?!? And as a betrayed wife... to understand better how the husband gets away with it with you.
But you are so young. So so so so so young and beautiful. The naivete and innocence of youth itself... explain so much. Hearing your story makes me realize you weren't really in an affair - you were used by like a child abuser, especially in such an isolated farm situation.
I feel you were victimized more so than like, a knowing, willing, partner in an affair, and partly by your own hormones at that age.
Immediately, I sense more compassion for the pain you must have been in than I could fear, hurt, judgement, or condemnation.
You said it - you were in a trauma bond. I can't even imagine how trapped and how confusing this first experience with romance must have been for you.
I can't even imagine how confusing and daunting that must have felt.You deserved better. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
The more of these stories I hear / see, the more I realize how sadistic, cruel, and abusive some people are out there. And look, innocents like you are forced to learn these painful lessons and be so brave like this and courageous to share their stories to help others.
I worry you may have been hired / used as a sex slave. This may qualify as trafficking, depending on what country it may have happened in. If they were paying you as a nanny but the man was using you as a sex worker.
You don't seem like you would have been nearly old enough to understand the full utter destruction that affairs cause. I see you as a victim of an abuser rather than a woman knowingly in an affair situation.
The fear of being exposed, of losing employ, lifestyle, home living situation would be so powerful. Let alone the respect of the world around you because he was married. And it started when you were only 17!?!? You were just a girl, a teenager. You were used and manipulated. Even if you were willing and in that location, you had reached the age of consent... you were still so so so young....
Please don't blame yourself as a typical "other woman". I can't see you that way when you're that young and naive, plus isolated by the farm situation. The compliment of that attention at that age especially would intoxicate anybody, especially if it was the first time with the physical aspects of romance.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. And look how far you've come, and how courageous you are now - to share this in hopes of helping others.
Good on you.
Consider forgiving yourself not as an "other woman" deceiving the family (although you were). As an exercise, learn some facts about sex work, and how women, especially young women, fall into it. You know, most girls don't chose that work who are in it. They've often gotten manipulated and news stories every few years show families who have hired an o'pair or something and wound up keeping the person almost prisoner as a sex slave. You didn't have to be kept by physical force. You were so mentally manipulated by the dependence on your abuser.
I don't know you or your situation, but when I hear your story, it seems so different from other "other woman" stories I hear by fully grown, experienced, adults who knowingly engage in romancing a married man with children. You seem even now way too young at the time to have completely understood the utter destruction caused by affairs - and in fact, finding out about you might have helped the wife realize the level of the abuse he was pulling over her as well, and might have helped her get out of it and away from him. By hiding him, you helped him continue.
I'm so so so sorry this happened to you and I hope those kids got away from that situation, and the wife into a healthier one. Like you got support and are getting healthier and stronger from it. Sad you had to learn the lesson like this, though. Sad for you. Admire the strength of this share. Keep your head up. Nothing to be ashamed of. You couldn't have known or realized what it would turn into and probably would not have chosen to work there if you'd had a crystal ball show you the future there.
Hi Brightpage1020 your message has touched me deeply. Thankyou for posting on this page and for sharing your perspective 💕💕
@@katelondon01these cheaters who have spouses are super predatory- narcissistic losers who hate themselves down deep. Fact.
Many many will be healed through your wisdom!❤️
Thankyou for your beautiful words M Slater ❤❤
Hi Kate, thank you for sharing and keep going. This is what we need to help strengthen our marriages, families and communities as affairs are so part of the normal today that people have accepted it. You brave in sharing, keep it up you will change lives.
I truly appreciate the supportive comment David. 🙏 I still brace myself when opening the new comments. It was so lovely and empowering to open it and see this instead🙏 Thankyou
So many predators in life. They go into certain positions because they have this addiction.
It could happen to young and old. These people that prey on others are sociopaths and many are narcissistic.
Glad she put this stuff out there. It helps others.
You are very brave to share this experience of soul growth. Thank you for posting.
Thank you @theheartwecarry 🤍 It definitely came with some sleepless nights in the beginning, even when posting this video! But the gift of helping so many is undeniably worth it 🤍
you are doing such a service with your channel here. thank you so much for all that you're sharing. your vulnerability is much appreciated and I find your insight so valuable. I found so much understanding in this
Ahh Thankyou Bloom! It definitely is refreshing to open to your supportive comment this morning. Thank you for sharing this. I really appreciate it. 🙏
I’ve been with someone for 11 yrs now. Im losing myself trying to leave this situation. Im 54, he 41! I need to move, I feel like I can’t. Im dead inside.
Hi 🙋♀️
I'm in the same situation and I don't know what to do 😪
My situations is wierd to😭😭
U got to change everything!!!
When you hear that voice in your head tell you that you can’t move, know that it’s a LIE.
You CAN change, you can break it off.
It will hurt but you can do it.
The pain is temporary and it WILL get better.
Shore up your resources, get as much support as you can, hopefully you can leave town & visit loved ones on a weekend. If you break it off on a Friday & you’re gone you will miss him potentially banging on your door.
Tell him you both knew it wasn’t the right thing to do all along.
Treat yourself with TLC as if you have a bad case of the flu.
Stock your most comforting foods and get your favorite blankets. Stock up on tissues. Get the phone number of someone you trust - even if it’s a therapist. Think about adopting an adorable pet to love just to feel love and to have someone to talk to on the daily. (My poor puppy dog knows all of my secrets. 😂)
Consider joining a new church family.
Block / delete everything your ex sent / get rid of all the gifts & loving cards and move forward with your life.
The pain is TEMPORARY.
You have a whole new future to build and you CAN find a man who can give you 100% of himself someday.
You deserve BETTER.
You deserve nothing less. 💕
@@lizabolivar9296See below for some tips. 💕
Dear Kate, I‘m deeply moved by your very personal story, your courage to share it and the positive impact it is definitely going to have on thousands of people out there. You are a brave, strong woman that really grew unbelievably from this heartbreaking experience. I wish you all the best, keep on doing what you are doing. And by the way: Men may also be among your audience ;-)
Hi Marty, Thank you so much for those kind and supportive words. I'm sure there are many men out there going through this experience. It's so hard to find support out there for the "other woman" let alone the other man so it's so lovely to hear that you are here. Welcome! If you would like to connect, I would love to. calendly.com/katelondon/call
I'm not really sure why some of the comments on here are very judgmental and negative ....obviously people are watching this video because they're in an affair or were affected by an affair... If you're not in it or have not experienced it, you have no right to make any type of comments. Self righteousness has no place here.
Thankyou for sharing your perspective and support here Heidi 💕
UA-cam is a public space where anyone can upload their video or pass comment, whether judgemental or kind. Most people view screwing around with married people harshly because it's straight up nasty, untrustworthy behaviour. It's why only a cheat would allow a cheat in their own life. This woman holds common ground with others who follow a similar path. Hopefully she's doing better
Thanks for your honesty; I'm glad your healing & helping others 💕
Thankyou @happyholyhealthylife 🙏
I said to my therapist that I got involved with a married man and that I want out of that role of a mistress - she mocked me and said I was conservative and that everyone is doing it now. I stopped seeing her and got myself out of that shit... it was long and painful process, and had lasting emotional and psychological effects long after I stopped sleeping with him. horrible experience.
Hearing this - that you felt you could do no right for him in your nanny work but only on the sexual den… it seems like this person may have been a narcissist or covert narcissist. When you’re “the one” in a real man’s eyes, you can do no wrong. A man who loves you cherishes you too much to denigrate you this way or risk your soul and spirit - that in you he so admires.
Thank you so much for sharing your story!! 💕
Thankyou Marcie 💕
Thank you for this video. The shame is so overwhelming for me and yet I feel stuck. Hearing your encouraging words and understanding are very helpful.
Hi @gagaCRoy00 You worded your feelings so well. It's what makes this experience so complex and confusing. I am glad you found this supportive.
I know other people already said it in this video but wow! That man totally groomed you. This is not a typical or average affair at all because there is a huge power imbalance. You were only 17 years old when it started and were still figuring life out. Thats crazy! So sorry you went through that.
I am tryimg to get out-of 9 mths of pure manipulation...with a partner.
I joined a new gym. Changig a lot of things. It is very challenging.
Thank you for helping others.
You are very intelligent.
I feel empowered when I listen to you.
If it's manipulation, how is that person a partner? That's a predator, not a partner.
He definitely is that.
@@palapalak.8907 Try to meet someone new. Maybe someone 10 years older who wants to marry you.
Hi Kate, I am just after seeing your video. You are very brave to share your story. You were young and Naive and probably felt afraid not to be continuing to fulfill this very Selfish Man who took advantage of your innocence.I can totally relate to this. I was very young.I did not have much experience with Men when I got tricked into an 8 Month relationship thinking I was with an available Man but he only confessed to been Married after getting his way with me Sexually. He was very Coercive and domineering and forced me to engage in Sexual Activity even though I was only getting to know him. I felt Shame for years and at times still do knowing now that a Married Man touched me in such an intimate way. Even when he admitted he was Married he still wanted to be getting intimate with me. I was having none of it and he had to leave but he did not want to. I am so glad I managed to get him to go. I would never have gotten involved if I knew he was Married.
Thankyou for sharing your story with us Olivia Smith. There is defiantly so much learning and understanding that comes with time and age. I hope you have been able to heal and grow from this challenging experience 💕
At least you have the conscience to feel pain and shame for having an affair with a married man. I know of a woman who never had these feelings, in fact she was proud of the fact that she had a married boyfriend exclusively for more than two years. She introduced the married man to her family, especially to her mother. The married man was happy to be included in her family as long as he could continue the relationship with her.
sick
Also whatever happened to that man's wife?
@@kittykittybangbang9367 This is indeed sickening! I am sure nothing good is going to come out once the wife finds out about the affair. Their children are the true victims of their father's sin!
Build you own future. Try doing that with a man who’s not in a committed relationship with his wife. He’s a back stabber or he wouldn’t be cheating on his wife. He’d be doing you every now and then and he’s doing his wife all the time (probably tells you he’s not). So you’re being used and you two adulterers are ripping his soul bond with his wife all to hell. Statistics show that men usually don’t leave their wives and if they do and join the adulteress fling partner it doesn’t work out the vast majority of the time. Your wasting time getting used and all the while ruining other people’s relationships. The man wins. He gets to eat his wife and his whoredog too. Protect yourself. Respect yourself and respect other women. Don’t entertain an affair. You will get hurt deeply. Everyone will. If he’s cheating on his wife then he’ll cheat on you too because he’d already be cheating on you with his wife! You just believe the dickhead and think he’s not. 😂
My closest friend was like that when she cheated on me with my husband for 2+ years. Proud of it (told everyone that my husband would allow) while also encouraging me to confide my fears and heartaches about the troubles in my marriage to her (then used them to endear herself more to my husband). For 2 years she never was nervous around me or acted guilty. In fact, she tended to act superior to me, although at the time i didn't know why. It has been 4 years since the affair ended and she has never come clean to me or asked for forgiveness. She still denies she did anything wrong and says she's the victim despite the proof that she wasn't from all the people she told. She thinks my husband treated her unfairly for choosing to try to keep his family together rather than stay with her. I'm not defending my husband, he's a dick for what he did, but she knew me, she knew our very young children, she knew how much I loved him, and she still chose to pursue him, to do whatever she could to break up our marriage and was determined to take whatever she could of the rubble for herself. Needless to say, I don't really have friends anymore.
Thank you so much. I needed all of your videos. Glad I found you
I was in a 2 month affair (I ended it, he wanted to continue. So I ghosted and blocked him.). What you said about the universe gifting you experiences so you can grow is 100% relatable and this is something I would never ever do, and now that I’ve done it, I will never ever do it again.
What I’m feeling now is guilt, I feel like the wife needs to know the truth. She deserves to know the lying pos she is sharing her home with. I’ve had people tell me I don’t have anything to feel guilty about and that I shouldn’t get involved and that most likely she has her suspicions already and he will have no choice but to tell her sooner or later.
Hi Forest Fairy, Thankyou for sharing your experience. Well done for walking away in the early stages of the affair. 💕 You are not alone in this feeling that comes after ending it. Sending you support and love through this time of navigating your feelings ✨
@@katelondon01 thank you so much xx
I wouldn't. IT takes 2 to tango. Wifey probably knows he's a p.o.s.
Adults, of consenting age, if you are the other person from the very start, that's who you have agreed to be, and that's who you will continue to be. You can't expect change. You will have to live a life of compromise or leave. Remember you made a choice. It's always your choice.
He also made a choice to get married… which from the start meant commitment, respect and loyalty. He could if left too. Selfishness is a disease
You should file a lawsuit against this person. Talk to a lawyer. You have a good case.
Personal injury, and they might extend the statute of limitations because you were a minor and/or if your mental injuries didn’t manifest until later. PTSD symptoms can emerge long, long after. There are also torts with longer statutes of limitations related to harassment, contracts etc. But probably what holds you back most would be feeling bad for “inflicting” that on him and his family, and any lingering longing to see the good in this person, which is natural. But attitudes are changing, laws are catching up, in part due to the MeToo movement etc. This is a situation with a serious power imbalance and some therapists - like mine - would have absolutely no hesitation calling this abuse. One thing I think about is the fact that the only way certain people have any hope of “improving” is by hitting rock bottom and having what they’ve done, in a situation like court. That’s what’s helping me in pursuing a lawsuit against my ex AP who got me fired from my job in retaliation, but whom I still long to think of as a “good person” even in spite of that.
Thank you for this
As a betrayed spouse I cannot feel sympathy for a person who gets involved with a married person … it rarely ends up being the dream relationship as they rarely leave the spouse … the shame may be bad but it is deserved … love yourself enough to choose an available partner do not contribute to destroying families
Exactly this. So often the other woman wants to play the victim and even the hero of the story. Meanwhile what they are getting off on is the destruction of a family while putting all of the blame on the dumb ass cheating husband. Otherwise they would choose single sexual partners. I think there is an aspect of sexual deviancy in the power that comes from being able to destroy the sanctity of a family by being the other woman.
@@goodgolly8465she didn’t set off wanting to ruin a family. I thought she was very introspective and honest about herself and her decisions.
@@Paula-j9j I can't remember what I said. Looks like my comment was deleted. Only thing worse than a home wrecker is a UA-camr that deletes comments.
@@goodgolly8465 the only home wrecker is the one that has a home and consciously goes elsewhere looking for whatever he lacks at home. hard pill to swallow. and nobody needs empathy of the cheated wife, even though she is the one that gets plenty of it since she is socially marked as a "victim". however, throughout the entire duration of the affair she was actually profiting from it. Teal Swan and Esther Perel address the whole affair triangle most precisely...
It’s not even so much the age. It’s that there were several first experiences. I’m shocked that you weren’t pursued in high school? How did that not happen. That’s a shame it happened that way. Not quite the content I was researching. This doesn’t. Count quite as an affair but more of power dynamic of an adolescent who was employed and isolated. But still technically an affair. I’m sorry it happened that way. It would have happened to almost anyone under those circumstances so try not to beat yourself up too much. One day at a time…. Then seven years pass
Thank you for sharing this....What was the lesson taught to you by the universe through this bitter part of your life..
Thankyou Prathibha Selvaraj 💕
It needs to be socially acceptable to have more than one love relationship if both partners agree.
My husband cheated on me and he married her that’s painful like hell 😓
💔 Much love. I'm so sorry!
I’m sorry
I'm so sorry, but if it makes you feel better he will probably cheat on her. Cheaters never stop cheating
@@kittykittybangbang9367 it helpt for now thank you so much ❤️
I hope you got someone better.
Please study narcissism or covert narcissism and sex worker stories of how they get tricked and trapped into it. Not to horrify you, but to see that you are not alone and you were victimized by somebody who knew better.
Look at all the betrayed wives on here getting protective of you - like a daughter - in the comment section.
I had to study sex work as part of my Uni major in International Studies. There are literal classes in human trafficking.
You might have been lucky this man didn’t sell your *service* to other farmer friends and whatnot. He is, too, legally. That he chose not to go that route. Plenty do.
This doesn’t seem like a man who fell for a bright young soul into an affair. This seems like a guy with bad intentions, who hid them maybe even from himself at first. But certainly entertained them long enough to know better to take advantage of you, your youth, your naïveté, your desire to please and to do well for his family and for him.
The power dynamic was messed up there. Not you. You’re good, girlfriend. Stand strong.
Will you please send your information to contact you? I have a new phone and the information was lost. Thanks.
Hi @shenequakimbro5146 please check out my website katelondon.com.au or my Instagram @katelondon01
Did you tell his wife?
Or did she find out on her own?
It takes two don't always blame female the male probably said he wanted to leave his partner and was madly in love with new love. . My ex husband left me for someone else - it happens sadly. We can't make someone love you. Blame your husband he was married shouldn't go there.
how bout being lied to by the married man bout being married and being snipped..... Wait for the ending raising a child on your own cause when I found out the truth he became a ghost...... He was so ashamed of his lies he refuse to help me raise our son That was 17 years ago and glad Ive never seen him since
7 years?????? Dang.
I barely made it one year
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
OMG honey. That is definitely grooming. Men like that know how to pick us out. I'm so glad your healed. What a piece of dirt! 😢😮
It would be better if there is subtitles.🥺
Thank you for your feedback Priya. I have added subtitles now 💕
Thats so great and sweet of you kate.Thank you❤
I just got divorce n my high school bf get back together but he is married they don't have children.for 33 yrs. we never kiss so when we met again n kiss n all those the feelings comeback .we talk from the moment he wakes up while going to work n during work hrs.till he goes home n even when his next to his wife we txt I know he loves me but I don't know why he don't leave her maybe he's scared to start his life again I don't know if better to let him go or fight for what we have
He won’t leave because he loves her too. You will be the one hurt in this. You probably won’t leave but it’s in your best interest to leave him. There is someone out there for you. I wish you the best.
The blatant truth is that you don't have ANYTHING. The chance he will leave her is zero. Get out before this gets any more messy, because it will not end well.
@@deniseduggins8933 That is not helpful. Lack of understanding.
@@deniseduggins8933 That is not helpful.
ask him if he loves you and when he says yes I do tell him to prove it by choosing between you and his wife.
Can you explain why the woman having the affair would feel shame? My wife is in an affair, and she seems happy and high functioning at her job. She doesn't know I'm filing for divorce. But she seems to be handling the affair, house work and her job without a problem.
She chose to be a for 7 years. She did her job but she should have benefits from the 7 years. It's not about love it's about providing for your kids
Breascrumbs
Uh…I don’t remember being this stupid when I was 17.
It seems like you are, till this day, by posting such a judgemental comment after her explaining what her background was. Be passive aggressive with the one you're really angry about...
You seem dumber just by your comment.
Wow … That is brutal.
Thank you for doing this