Resilience Building Strategies
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- Опубліковано 18 тра 2024
- In this livestream I'll be outlining some ideas to help build resilience and confidence, and as always, taking questions from the audience. Hope to see you then.
#resilience #resilienceinhealing #innerstrength
Very helpful, thanks! I've struggled with hypervigilence and videos like these over the previous months have been so very helpful in managing my CPTSD. 🙂👍🖐️ Hope everyone is well and happy.
“ We have to think about what doesn’t work! “I think that is a good remark. 😏🙏
Thank you! Patterns are key!!! I have been saying to myself that xyz keeps happening. So I started thinking about all of the times that it happened. Then I tracked backwards until I figured out the pattern of events that came before the xyz. What I have noticed is that my mistakes have been right at the beginning of meeting people. I am cordial to people, and when they are cordial to me, I "let them in" too quickly. I have mistaken love-bombing for cordiality. I am getting much quicker at figuring it out, but am still falling for it. Watching these videos gives me "license" to snip them out of my life.
When I catch myself beating myself up, I literally, out loud, say, "Leave me alone." When I do that, it shakes me out of my head and in to the here and now such that the bad thoughts are lost. I hear myself say it, and by then I don't remember what I was beating myself up about and I start doing something productive ("right now").
Thank you!
Greetings from Vienna!
Yup, an eating disorder can result from narcissistic abuse.
I've often heard it said in relation to eating disorders that, as Darren has mentioned here, if you're stripped of control in some areas of your life, you may try to control other areas.
If the eating disorder is anorexia nervosa then I would disagree that the issue is about controlling an area of your life.
Imo (and I'm aware this may not be everyone's experience) anorexia nervosa is an attempt at self-destruction. A slow, painful suicide attempt. Controlling (or to put it more appropriately, restricting) one's food intake is simply the means by which one attempts to achieve this self-destruction.
Narcissistic abuse, particularly when perpetrated by a narcissistic parent/parents, often instills an intense self-hatred and self-loathing in targets. They may want to die, slowly and painfully. Starving oneself to death is a way to achieve this. It's not about control, it's about destroying oneself and suffering as much as possible along the way.
I know that's extremely dark, but I kind of think it needs to be said.
I agree. As a food addict, I think I was either trying to self destruct, or hide inside a safe armour where I couldn't be fully seen. The pain they inflict is very real. And then the outcome they forced on us is wrong in their eyes as well.
👍🖤🌹 Agree. I'm from a family of eight and we all responded and coped with abuse and neglect in a variety of ways. Including different self-harming behaviors.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge! You mentioned in this live that children don’t stay children forever; that as adults they can form a bond (I don’t remember the word you used!) and decide they will not put up with a particular parent’s behaviors. Can they opposite be true? As in the can also take on a “pack mentality” ( again for lack of term) and unite against a targeted parent to keep the status quo in place? Thanks again!
Yes they can also do that
Thank you for your response! I appreciate it!!
One more question if I may? I really struggle with this. Three adult children who B are all grow with children of their own. Their father who they all grew up with is a covert narcissist. I did not know this until about 6 years ago - much too late. It seems to me there is much overlap in how my kids behave, IE as if they are narcissistic themselves or are they displaying the behaviors of alienated children. This involves all 3 of them. Is there any way to tell the difference between the two? It does matter to me in how I choose to continue y to o deal with this. I am assuming PA as it is what is best for them since I just don’t know. Maybe there is no clear answer?
It sounds like you're stuck in a closed attic room with no ventilation. Poor thing. Are there any windows? A fan? One good thing is to get a spray bottle with a mist setting and fill it with water to cool yourself with. Maybe even a mini fridge if there's a place to plug it in. You can store "cold gel packs" in there and place them on your skin. 🤥💙