John Crist on Kids These Days
Вставка
- Опубліковано 7 лют 2025
- Standup comedian John Crist talks about child safety, sports and trampolines. Taken from John Crist: Live at Church filmed with Tim Hawkins in St. Louis, MO.
Visit www.johncristco... for more videos, bio and live tour dates.
![John Crist - What Are We Doing? - Full Special [2022]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/0a3nPKvhonU/mqdefault.jpg)
![John Crist - What Are We Doing? - Full Special [2022]](/img/tr.png)
"We skipped a letter to make sure kids knew they were failures"😂
Tacoboutit I died 😂😂
Just0.0Jess 😙😙😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👍💕💕💕😎🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈😴😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴🙈🙈😃
Homeschooled and got an F with an exclamation point. 😂😂
@@BELLA-mf6hb lol
😂😂😂😂
I love it when he laughs at his own jokes.
Same 😂
Yessss!
Way better than when Jimmy Fallon does it.
😂😂
you need your own netflix special im dying of laughter
Carolyn Rubido Yassss
Yesssss!!!!!
Yessss
Carolyn Rubido I
Netflix would never give him one. He’s Christian and conservative
red pens banned? i can write F in purple, green, sparkle blue... take your pick!
Lori Larson hahaha
Noooo 😭😭😂😂😂 I'm dead
Lori Larson hahaaaaaahaha!!!! As a teacher, i completely agree with you!!!
I know I'm a year late but do you have sparkly orange id like that one
Maybe kids wouldn't fail all the time if highschool didnt have a combined amount of 7 hours a night of homework. College classes were so much easier because we had a schedule and less time in class. So when we had 3 or 4 hours a day of homework less than what we had in high school it's a blessing.
"tried to get the neighborhood fat kid to jump off the roof and bounce us into to neighbor's pool"
i never laughed so hard in my life😂😂😂😂
its not funny to make fun of obese people
@@collegesportsnetwork9564 I really hope you're joking.
I am literally ROTFL
College Sports Network it’s fucking hilarious
Not gonna lie, I've done this
I can sadly attest to his reference to not grading children's work with a red pen. I'll never forget the first time I was told that. In my opinion red pens get the point across and are easier to see. Kids also need to be able to develop a thick skin to survive in the world, which isn't going to happen if they aren't allowed to make and pay for mistakes.
Denini Williams orange is the first color the eye catches, red is the second. Not sure if this is true but it’s what my Trap coach told me. Use orange ink and find the loopholes
They still use pink pens and orange pens...?
I had a teacher switch from red pen to green pen for grading back in the late 90's because she thought it was less harsh and would help us perform better. I am a perfectly well rounded adult who can handle stress and failure.
Jesus paid for your mistakes and the mistakes of children, don’t worry.
This teacher who doesn’t even really believe in grades and grades in green pen has the highest AP scores in our state and was my favorite teacher of all time. I don’t think it’s the color of the ink that makes the difference but the quality of the teacher
"And you wonder why we have grown men walking around in skinny jeans".
Yes!!! 🤣👍
I actually wondered why
And you KNOW there was one in the audience when he said that 😳😂
this world embarrasses me....
i was shocked, my mom says he is only funny and Christian because he's always on the edge, well serves her point
My husband (graduated in '86) got and F+ once??? We are still laughing at that one. In red of course!
Andrea Moseley hey at least it wasn't an F-
The grading scale now is F D- D D+ C- C C+ B- B B+ A- A. No F- F+ nor A+
@@robdog4062 many for our school, at mine we still have A+, I don’t know about F+ though
@@robdog4062 for me it’s just numbers
" 'God's just really testing me.' 'No that's gravity....' "
That's not God testing you, that's gravity! LOL :D
Jesus ain't taking that wheel😂😂😂
Skyler Reid it was good and full of culture loved it
That's my bumper sticker 😂😂
Problem is Jesus can’t drive
He's taking your bike in the 6th grade
Isn't this commentary more on parents and the people who put the rules in place. Kids love to keep score and jump of diving boards.
Cole Haaf yes, but that isn’t funny so won’t make money and doesn’t blame the victims, you know, the two things organize religion is about money and blaming the victims.
Agreed til ur last part. Damn dude u were on a roll
Yes it is.
lol same with the red pens and participation trophies like what? everyone knows they're bs 😂
Comedians know how to verbalize what we've already visualized as ridiculous and that's why we burst out laughing.
We used to pull our trampoline under a tree and jump off the limbs onto the trampoline, and wet the trampoline and see who'd go sliding the farthest 😂
That sounds fun
Cathi Beeson sounds like my childhood
Ray and B It _was_ fun (this is Cathi Beeson on her other channel) 😊
Lisa Fuller trampoline over to the pool and jump from the tree to the trampoline into the pool so we're all still alive
I totally remember wetting the trampoline....was super fun!!! Enjoyed playing crack the egg on it too...not literally an egg but we would sit Indian style and held our feet tight and people would jump and if we cracked, then that was it...boy was that fun though!!
"God's just really testing me."
"Like, nah that's gravity."
😂😂😂😂😂
everything was so true, we honestly need to get rid of participation trophies
Veni Vidi Amavi should that also apply for the people running marathons?
Kids don't give two craps about those things, it's the parents who want them. The same parents who get a medal for coming in 237th place in the 10K.
This is so true though, I remember back in 5th grade we had a science fair and everybody at the end of the day got a participation ribbon and it honestly felt like a slap to the face after all my hard work cause the people who got 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th place all obviously had their parents make their projects.
I never heard of that what ?
I don't have kids I'm actually happy
Tbh participation slips make you feel worse
One like= One signed petition for his own Netflix TV show!!😂
*WHY DOESNT THIS HAVE MORE VIEWS*
Because it's not funny.
@@richelleeasley6492 no u
@@maddawg_ erhm. Sure. I guess liking Bill Burr or Dave Chappell, Tom Segura or George Carlin has made me immune to what true comedy must look like. Because imo, this isn't it.
1.4 million
When I was in high school, you needed to make a 95% or higher to get an A.
Two years after I graduated they changed to 90% and above for an A...
I still have to get a 95
its an 85 for honors classes now
Wtf? All my classes are honors and I still need to make 90%
Is that like a five point grading scale... what is a B
@@ashlinday4469 It was a 10 point scale for every grade except A
I love that you laugh at your own jokes.
SKIPPED A LETTER ! Thank you greatest generation!
I love this guy he literally sounds Ned Flanders 😂
If we tell kids that they are already a winner along with everyone else, when they grow up they won’t try because they always expect to win.
"Jesus might not take the wheel, but Jesús might take your wheel and rims " - LOL I lost it
Lol
Jesús would definitely do that
racist
@@MyName123. Very. This is Christian.
Super racist man, he isn’t funny either
even jesus ain’t taking that wheel😂😂😂😍
It's the best when he laughs at his own jokes. 🤣 it makes it 100X funnier.
I saw him at winter jam and I looked away for like 5 seconds and all of the sudden lion king music started and I literally jumped it scared me but he was hilarious 😂😂😂
Lucky
Yesss
It's called humor. He is joking. Oy.
fancimcguffin it would have been funny if you said Jesus at the end
"I saw two kids bouncing on s trampoline with helmets on"
Literally my mom
So glad this popped up tonight, needed a laugh! When I was a kid my parents had a trampoline for us in the backyard that had a hole in the middle of it, not a big hole, but enough for a foot to go through if you weren’t watching. One day my friend and I were jumping around, at the same time, which shows are brilliant young minds at work, we hit each other, she went through the hole, and I flew off. I broke my collarbone in half, and got in trouble for not paying attention and having to miss softball to go to the hospital! Kids today are ridiculous, and often entitled. My teacher friend had a 13 yr old tell her that if she didn’t give the chips back she took from him because he wasn’t supposed to be eating in class that he’d have her fired. The parents actually took the kid’s side! We give every kid a trophy and wonder why they flip when they fail at something when they are older. Love your comedy, I sound like an old crank for 36 lol!
His laugh gives me life
Ohhhhhh.... you are seriously killin this!!! I grew up.. no seatbelts even in the backseat of my parents car... and helmets on trampolines.. helmets at all... oh.. how did you learn to swim???? If you were like me.. a family member threw me off the dock up north at the lake!! Same as riding bike... top of hill.. little push... peddle or.... Fall!!!!
I love you and tim hawkins!!!!!!!
2:45 meanwhile in 2021 we see that he owns skinny jeans in his video what to wear to church 🤣🤣
I've never agreed more! 💯💯💯💯
Jordan Parker hey put that red pen down
When I was in kindergarten I was in a Christian basketball league (which I'm still in, I'm in sixth grade) we "didn't keep score." My coach always kept score and told us. If we lost he told us we lost and what we needed to work on.
"I've been waiting a year to tell that joke!" LOL
My mom is dying over here! Lol 🤣🤣
At a school I work at we used ‘Think Pink’ and use pink highlighter to show kids the sections that they need to double check....Then they got rid of ‘Think Pink’ and use only green pens to give kids multiple choice options on how to correct sections of their work.
Our old trampoline had no nets, springs popped off at random times, and most likely 1/8th of the whole thing had no springs so it was like a slide.
Yes John Crist you make my whole family laugh. Like honestly hilarious everything
We need more of this in 2020
i’m 16 rn but when was younger I had a trampoline at my house and me and my older brother would move it under the tree in the yard and he tied a rope to the tree and we would jump from the tree, no net around the trampoline. miss those times. even when it wasn’t under the tree we would fall off the trampoline and then laugh it off
We used to sneak over to the neighbor's (only had his kids weekends) and would rollerskate on it. Pretty sure that would require papers drawn up by a lawyer now, over 30 years later. Lol.
I was jumping on my trampoline and did a front flip off of it and dislocated my toe.. and got back on started jumping and felt my foot pop... boom dislocation fixed!
0:58 We still use that grading system! XD
Your hilarious keep rocking Brother👍Love your jokes and yr videos
Hilarious -you’ve hit the nail on the head.
My son called the red pencil the "Condemning Pencil" and he was homeschooled. During the Obama years I had to give them a promissory note for their 100% test scores, I couldn't afford all the yellow stars.
Great routine- thanks John!
a few kids taught themselves gymnastics on our trampoline. it was awesome
I like John as well as Tim Hawkins
Great job. I love this guy.
3:03 His face there 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Although I'm late finding you I'm so glad I did.
I never knew about the red pen thing until now! No wonder I bypassed all the low scores and correction notes on my sons work until he was old enough to realize how much his grades matter.
I swear I thought the check marks were just to confirm he did the work cause the color ink is black or blue. Red means "red flag your kid is failing!"
So he can play 4 the Rams!
Yessssss!!
I love this video!!😄
Oldie but goodie!
I heard “We don’t keep score. All these kids are wheeners”
My school district had a tougher grading scale than the rest of the county. An A was only 95 and up
Haha, I broke my ankle on a trampoline. I walked home thinking it was just a sprain. I couldn't stand the next day. Mom was all mad that I didn't tell her what happened the night before. Instead of going to work, she had to take me to the ER who confirmed the break.
I'm laughing so hard I'm crying and gasping for air !
Haha this is awesome👏
Wow!!! The color red... i remember when a lady told me not to decorate my daughters nursery because red makes babies ANGRY!!! Lol... oh my!!!
Gotta start weeding these kids out😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂oof
Lol! We jumped off the roof onto the trampoline to land on mattresses we laid on the ground! Lol sweet, sweet concussion-I mean memories 😂
U really should be on agt and I’ll definitely vote for you bc u a so hilarious and I love ur Christian Comedy
That Rams joke omfg 🤣
Annnnd you rocked some skinny jeans tonight. 😂
In my school district we skip two letters. A B C FAIL
My son celebrated graduating high school by going on the trampoline and picked up his certificate a week later on crutches. The men of my church suggested next time put it next to a pool.
Netting around a trampoline didn't stop me from landing badly and breaking my ankle lmao 😂
It 2am and I have school but this is more important 😔👌
You need your own tv series
Me, a kid these days: *laughter*
He is too funny!!!
LAWD. Who is this person. I haven’t laughed this hard in mucho long
I played on a trampoline with holes in it and springs everywhere XD
This dude is classic!
Funny how the Rams actually made it to the Super Bowl...and failed to beat the Patriots.
hey 2018 here, the rams r pretty damn good lol. not so much in 2015 tho
Sad to say I'm old school and the latter is exactly how our trampoline is although I did put a helmet on my toddler his first time 😅
this reminds me to trust my sister and let her learn from her mistakes
Someone beat me to the apostrophe burn. Dang! John, as your former teacher, I give you a F with an ! for bad grammar. Fix it, dude.
w8 no joke, u his teacher?
singactteach I give you an F for not spelling out exclamation point. Lol. Jk jk
singactteach he was homeschooled
I’d love it if he was on Netflix
You need to be on America’s got Talent
My history teacher has told people in my class that, "this is the reason why you will die alone," and, "you wonder why no woman will ever love you." Honest to god if these children can't handle red pen, how will they handle... Life.
My siblings and I throw the hose on the trampoline and then see who can do the most flips in a row while being sprayed without sliding on the wet surface! So much fun! 😄😄
2:43 "no bike ramps, no diving boards, and then people wonder why there are grown men walking around in skinny jeans."
AMEEEEEN
It’s funny, cause in my school district, it goes A, B, C...F!!! We’ve skipped TWO NOW
Hilarious!
This comedienne is funny and accurate in his views. Black comedienne's can say whatever they feel and this should be the case with every comedienne!
No padding when I was younger just my grandpa walking around makin sure I didn’t break too many bones
I love you John you're real and I love trampolines :-P
When I was younger I would get my siblings and some friends and put soap on the trampoline and spray water all over it. Probably wasn’t a good idea seeing as the soap got in everyone’s eyes but we just kept sliding😂
OH YEAH!! Dish detergent was the best! Lol
And now the Rams are in the Super Bowl. 🤣
My mom told me about her and her friend when they were 10 getting two garbage bags and going to the roof of her friends Ranch House (1 story) and trying to parachute off.. My mom got scared and didnt do it but her friend went for it and winded up with pins in her ankle that was fractured in 3 places.. She landed on grass but still... Of course this was a time before home video games!!
A cousin of mine once tried jumping off the roof, onto my aunt's trampoline. He went right through it and broke his leg. This was probably 30 years ago.
This is funnier in light of the most recent Super Bowl w rams vs patriots... LOL
Why hasn’t Netflix hired you?😂😂😂
...about kids? He's gat that right!