John Crist with Tim Hawkins: Live at Church

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  • Опубліковано 3 січ 2015
  • Standup comedian John Crist Live at Element Church with Tim Hawkins. Crist hosts the filming for Tim Hawkin's most recent DVD project "That's the Worst"
    Visit www.johncristcomedy.com for more videos, bio and live tour dates.
  • Комедії

КОМЕНТАРІ • 500

  • @americantimelord8720
    @americantimelord8720 6 років тому +457

    The F with the exclamation point is funnier when you realize that he said he was homeschooled earlier.

    • @annanicholson5309
      @annanicholson5309 5 років тому +4

      Love your tardis

    • @zacharysiple783
      @zacharysiple783 5 років тому +3

      He went to a public high school though.

    • @fvckyourcharade894
      @fvckyourcharade894 5 років тому

      🤣

    • @drakeperkins3929
      @drakeperkins3929 5 років тому

      His parents gave him that grade hahahaha

    • @kellyalves756
      @kellyalves756 3 роки тому +1

      I once really biffed it in a class I was ordinarily really good in. My teacher rubber stamped “ F” about seven times on the front , wrote “(over)” - in red pen- at the bottom, and stamped one last “F” with an exclamation point at the end.

  • @mayadunn5582
    @mayadunn5582 5 років тому +424

    Homeschool is like the *goodest* thing that ever happened to me....
    (I’m homeschooled so that was hilarious 😂)

  • @missluckyducky07
    @missluckyducky07 7 років тому +835

    i love how he laughs at his own jokes

    • @2b-coeur
      @2b-coeur 7 років тому +40

      I know, it makes it so much funnier for me because whenever anyone's laughing, I laugh.

    • @rachelharmon3604
      @rachelharmon3604 6 років тому +11

      Same!!!! It's the funniest thing EVER!! 😂

    • @hannahtj1940
      @hannahtj1940 6 років тому +10

      Reminds me of Matt Meese :D

    • @allik4131
      @allik4131 5 років тому +2

      Anna Low Same!

    • @Emily-ce6rv
      @Emily-ce6rv 5 років тому +5

      @@hannahtj1940 YESS.....also a homeschool thing....studio C!

  • @nightwarper1760
    @nightwarper1760 5 років тому +68

    “Here are our two children Judas and Goliath.”

  • @graysha1211
    @graysha1211 7 років тому +220

    Love how he cracks himself up. Also love this guy . Give him a big thumbs up guys!

  • @LLigon
    @LLigon 5 років тому +434

    I absolutely love this guy! Why doesn’t he have his own sitcom or Netflix special? He is hilarious 😂🤣

    • @goldenelite-4939
      @goldenelite-4939 5 років тому +40

      L. Ligon Because he’s Christian sad but true

    • @Jesusbride515
      @Jesusbride515 5 років тому +19

      GoldenElite - I wish he did too. How come they’re putting all these secular people on TV? They swear and stuff. I’m like, please pick Christian stuff! Especially when I’m at school. I need a good laugh. And all the kids are talking about all these popular people. And I’m like, what?

    • @waitingforthursday
      @waitingforthursday 5 років тому +42

      Straight white Christian male that's the answer

    • @alaynaegan679
      @alaynaegan679 5 років тому +4

      @@Jesusbride515 same

    • @user-od8eq8bd1g
      @user-od8eq8bd1g 5 років тому +18

      @@goldenelite-4939 That's a missed opportunity for netflix. I'm not a christian and I think he's hilarious! I'm also white and find a lot of black comedians extremely funny when they talk about themselves and their community like John is doing.

  • @BenitaPrins
    @BenitaPrins 8 років тому +251

    You can't handle your own jokes. I love you XD

    • @victoriagt8629
      @victoriagt8629 7 років тому +2

      Couldnt agree more

    • @Billie_Marie_
      @Billie_Marie_ 6 років тому +3

      Benita J. Prins I know! His laugh makes it so much fun

    • @FlocksSake
      @FlocksSake 5 років тому +1

      I love it when he cracks himself up. It's kinda adorable.

  • @raelynnmerritt6314
    @raelynnmerritt6314 7 років тому +73

    You are really funny and I am a bible student at age 63. You are belly laughing funny! Laughing is good for our hearts and minds. Bravo and Ovations and Encore!!!

  • @michellenichols9455
    @michellenichols9455 7 років тому +83

    Omg! Tough crowd! John is an awesome comedian! God truly gave him a great gift of joy!

  • @Jewels1573
    @Jewels1573 7 років тому +215

    "They make video games that are rated M for mature, doesn't that exclude everybody that plays video games?" hahaha! :D

    • @Greedo96
      @Greedo96 6 років тому +2

      Jewels1573 that was lame

  • @TictacAddict1
    @TictacAddict1 6 років тому +697

    Got the opportunity to annoy an atheist in my office. He named his first born "Elijah" so, I took pleasure in telling him "Excellent name, it means My God is Jehovah". He made the face of a man who just ate a raw potato.

    • @jordanharrington1890
      @jordanharrington1890 5 років тому +15

      LMBO

    • @sweettee6827
      @sweettee6827 5 років тому +10

      😂😂😂😂

    • @rachelc3535
      @rachelc3535 5 років тому +43

      Sick burn, man. I'm sure it really made him regret naming his child a name he found pleasing to the ear.

    • @mayadunn5582
      @mayadunn5582 5 років тому +3

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @AMoja-tk6kx
      @AMoja-tk6kx 5 років тому +24

      😂So funny how GOD does his thing!🙏😝

  • @jasminlove8559
    @jasminlove8559 7 років тому +326

    I was serving in Children's Ministry at my church and be a kindergartner named Jezebel. I couldn't believe it. Then next day I was talking to the receptionist about it and she said..."that sounds like a pretty name." All I could do is laugh, I guess not everyone did Bible Quiz like me...where I had to memorize all of 1 Kings 19-22.

    • @tobiasboston5663
      @tobiasboston5663 7 років тому +100

      Yvette Kellogg "Those are my kids Jezebel and Elijah, they NEVER seem to get along"

    • @brandyapplez5321
      @brandyapplez5321 7 років тому

      Yvette Kellogg

    • @marlesha421
      @marlesha421 7 років тому +3

      Tobias Boston lol

    • @user-go8wn2oi3j
      @user-go8wn2oi3j 6 років тому +21

      Yea my church used to have junior Bible quiz then they stopped doing it. So the other day at church a kid was asked what the 4 gospels were and said God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. I was trying so hard not to laugh.

    • @IamGrimalkin
      @IamGrimalkin 6 років тому +2

      I must say when I heard that joke I was thinking about how Judas (Jude) wrote one of the books of the bible.

  • @elizabethmccartney5206
    @elizabethmccartney5206 6 років тому +64

    God's just really testing me.
    No that's gravity.
    Haha so true.

  • @kaiyas9464
    @kaiyas9464 5 років тому +73

    I almost broke my neck on a trampoline and I just kind of sat there stunned for a second and then just went back to jumping a few minutes later . 😂

    • @IzzyNChrist
      @IzzyNChrist 3 роки тому

      what?!?! Didn't you have to go to the hospital?

    • @kaiyas9464
      @kaiyas9464 3 роки тому

      IzzyNChrist it didnt break, i was like 9 years old? i probably shoulve gone to yhe hospital but i didnt tell anyone what happened 🥴

    • @IzzyNChrist
      @IzzyNChrist 3 роки тому +1

      @@kaiyas9464 oh my gosh!!! you were only 9, I get it kids are silly. Did you go sometime in later years? I did something similar when I was in my early 20s I never went to the doctor. I regret that now, I hope it doesn't become arthritic later :s .

  • @darknlovli
    @darknlovli 7 років тому +101

    Jon: Excuse me Waitress!
    Waitress: Excuse me my name is Watrice!

  • @misspennymc
    @misspennymc 6 років тому +41

    "We pay rent"
    Bwahahahaha! !

  • @elizabethmccartney5206
    @elizabethmccartney5206 6 років тому +27

    Haha, the soccer joke 😂
    I play soccer and we started keeping score because the parents were complaining 😂

  • @gregmcpherson6022
    @gregmcpherson6022 5 років тому +25

    "Even Jesus isn't taking that wheel!" Wow this guy is hilarious!

  • @courtneyfox6464
    @courtneyfox6464 6 років тому +44

    This guy is so awesome! made my day. I love how's he so edgy like me. He shows how Christians can be fun and entertaining unlike most people think we shouldn't be!

  • @4christ
    @4christ 2 роки тому +11

    I just found this guy and I've been laughing for hours

  • @16handsoffunfunfun
    @16handsoffunfunfun 6 років тому +29

    The Dave Ramsey plan!!! Omgosh!! LMAO

    • @kylemaximusmith
      @kylemaximusmith 3 роки тому +1

      Are you willing to donate 2 cents to the needy children? Nah I’m good! I’m on step 1 of Dave Ramsey’s plan.

  • @colekalenak5087
    @colekalenak5087 9 років тому +54

    i can't stop rolling on the floor, so funny

  • @triplegaming4017
    @triplegaming4017 3 роки тому +6

    I bought a Dvd for Tim Hawkins and that is how I found you and boy am I glad

  • @gusmay6520
    @gusmay6520 3 роки тому +10

    “When Jesus turned that water into sweet tea” 🤣🤣🤣

  • @queenofquacksons2745
    @queenofquacksons2745 5 років тому +15

    My favourite thing about him is how he laughs at his own jokes.

  • @katie9050
    @katie9050 6 років тому +11

    "here are our two kids, Judas and Goliath." 😂

  • @anitacunha4555
    @anitacunha4555 Рік тому +3

    I remember this, he looks so young!! Still my favorite comedian ever!!

  • @brianaghastin7259
    @brianaghastin7259 2 роки тому +7

    The best part was John cracking himself up at his own jokes! Too funny!

  • @SaintValNSwine
    @SaintValNSwine 6 років тому +46

    I totally relate to this guy! He is an "Edgy Christian" lol

    • @blondieadams7758
      @blondieadams7758 9 місяців тому

      I wish he would date my 19 yo granddaughter. She's drop dead gorgeous.

  • @tianamanuel7078
    @tianamanuel7078 2 роки тому +3

    What is hilarious is that I watch this Tim Hawkins show all the time! I just watched it the other night. We own it on DVD

  • @katandbaldi
    @katandbaldi 3 роки тому +3

    John and Tom Hawkins!? Whoa, I didn’t know I needed this duo!

  • @TanyaMBowers
    @TanyaMBowers 10 місяців тому +1

    I haven’t seen this one…is the pre - rehab….
    Wow! What a difference!
    You are amazing now!❤

  • @BestBibleStories
    @BestBibleStories 6 років тому +11

    This was the funniest thing I've seen in a very long time. There has to be more!

  • @leiameadows1640
    @leiameadows1640 8 років тому +36

    I love his videos!! Im homeschooled so I can relate. And yeah! Go kids table!

  • @roycemcconnell7668
    @roycemcconnell7668 6 років тому +16

    SUPER appreciate the tough humor hahaha, can't wait to see you at WinterJam in Indianapolis!

  • @christopherduvall7094
    @christopherduvall7094 6 років тому +336

    I'm a homeschooler and I make fun of myself all the time, its funny

  • @chasemclean3804
    @chasemclean3804 6 років тому +13

    "'Scuse m, Waitress?" "Um, It's Waitress." Lololol

  • @victoriagt8629
    @victoriagt8629 7 років тому +18

    I was laughing so hard my mom told me to be quiet ha ha. lol

  • @aynsley_broom
    @aynsley_broom 6 років тому +19

    The PKs!!!! Hahaha yes! Glad to know that's basically a universal term lol

    • @carolecook1116
      @carolecook1116 6 років тому +3

      Aynsley Broom~ PKs got away with it all when I was in school. They were the worse kids, since adults (not even police!) thought it possible that they'd do wrong😣.

  • @nicholemaccalley9462
    @nicholemaccalley9462 6 років тому +17

    “Who’s Howie?” Lol. You know the old song “Just Over in the Glory Land”? My mom told me about a kid she knew when she was little who asked, “Who’s Jess Dover?” :-)

  • @miamikidd8540
    @miamikidd8540 6 років тому +8

    The Rams joke got me lmao

  • @LilByrdFly2
    @LilByrdFly2 Рік тому +2

    My 2 favorite comedians together!!! Love it!

  • @cynthiadelvalle3437
    @cynthiadelvalle3437 5 років тому +11

    John Crist, just found out about you a few weeks ago. I just love watching your videos. You are really funny. Like how you laugh at your own jokes.

  • @ashshof4409
    @ashshof4409 3 роки тому +4

    John needs to be on America’s got talent

  • @LostDesertGirl
    @LostDesertGirl 7 років тому +23

    "Walk it off!" LolAnyone who remembers big cars in the 60s with the back seat that had a sort of "deck" behind and above it...Some older friends of ours were talking about taking a nap on that part many times on extended trips. LMBO!

    • @carolecook1116
      @carolecook1116 6 років тому +2

      L DG~ Oh yeah, & riding in back of pick-up 🚚 truck! After breakfast in Summer: 'Mom, I'm gonna go find some other kids to play with.' 'Okay, be home by the time the street lights come on.' Toys: chemistry set w/poisonous & combustible substances, pocket knives, phosphorus glow-in-dark items, metal swords....& the very popular actual guns 🔫 & candy cigarettes 🚬. Absolutely all true.

    • @sabinmckinnie3678
      @sabinmckinnie3678 6 років тому

      Carole Cook
      Aw the good old days! Now who's gonna survive Fema camps?

  • @LindyLouCantu
    @LindyLouCantu 5 років тому +8

    Great material! Funny and real. Loved it!

  • @abbieamavi
    @abbieamavi 6 років тому +9

    I find the fact that he laughs at his own jokes kind of great tbh, it makes him seem more humble and funnier in a way!

  • @yamel13j
    @yamel13j 6 років тому +8

    This guy is a genius

  • @epikpey
    @epikpey Рік тому +2

    The greatest duo to ever exist

  • @mannyseay
    @mannyseay 5 років тому +8

    Who else watching in 2019 when the Rams in the Superbowl 😂😂😂

  • @MalloryNewcomb
    @MalloryNewcomb Рік тому +5

    “We used to get the neighborhood fat kid to bounce us into the neighbor’s pool”
    Sir you had a great childhood. 😆

  • @PhantomJRyder
    @PhantomJRyder 6 років тому +35

    Another common "Bad Bible Name" is Nimrod. Mighty hunter does not equal righteous man.

    • @bluestories7816
      @bluestories7816 3 роки тому

      Kids are coming out nimrods but i aint speqkin bible language

  • @Hannah-dh4bs
    @Hannah-dh4bs 5 років тому +12

    I forgot I had a biblical name for a hot minute

  • @kacejohnson4099
    @kacejohnson4099 5 років тому +3

    My Family doesn't like when I watch you, because I laugh to loud!😂😂

  • @kassidyreynolds7400
    @kassidyreynolds7400 6 років тому +24

    I saw some of this at Winter Jam. I'm homeschooled.

  • @ashtray113
    @ashtray113 9 років тому +10

    Laughing out loud! Funny stuff.

  • @albinocadillac
    @albinocadillac 6 років тому +25

    He's been waiting a year to tell a lot of jokes

  • @noel_and_elle1994
    @noel_and_elle1994 5 років тому +5

    I needed this on my break!!!! 😹😹😹

  • @lanedoe4366
    @lanedoe4366 4 роки тому +2

    This guy is the best!!!!!!

  • @Rawk4Life
    @Rawk4Life 7 років тому +90

    How did Wah-Treece (Waitress) not get teased growing up?

  • @matthewhelmuth3591
    @matthewhelmuth3591 5 років тому +9

    *when the average age of a gamer is 30 years old*

  • @rebeccav9969
    @rebeccav9969 5 місяців тому

    Love you, man. Thoroughly enjoy your work!

  • @leesteal4458
    @leesteal4458 4 роки тому +4

    I love the way he laughs at his own jokes.

  • @dawncarrasco8320
    @dawncarrasco8320 2 роки тому +1

    He cracks me up. I can't wait to see him live!

  • @jinnydaily3144
    @jinnydaily3144 9 місяців тому +1

    I love John!! He’s a Christian , but understands the world of today ie playground equipment!

  • @JoanBrown-tf6dr
    @JoanBrown-tf6dr 6 місяців тому

    Thankyou your one of the best

  • @hannahj7596
    @hannahj7596 5 років тому +81

    Me and my siblings all have Bible names 😂 obviously I’m Hannah and so on Nathan Daniel Stephanie. Edit: Aww thank you I have never had a like before Edit: thank you for two likes I love y'all

  • @brucehaines803
    @brucehaines803 2 роки тому +1

    I love this material that John Chris comes up with John Crist material is just hilarious

  • @angelpjc
    @angelpjc 2 роки тому +1

    John, I watch you every day. Thanks for the laughs 😂💜🤣

  • @FirstLadyJoy
    @FirstLadyJoy 5 років тому +6

    Tuff Crowd @ beginning
    But then....
    Yasssss

  • @evanstanek5838
    @evanstanek5838 5 років тому +13

    The joke at 9:30, they're in the superbowl now!

    • @kelslo74
      @kelslo74 5 років тому

      Evan Stanek no respect 😆💙💛

    • @jayr_jit
      @jayr_jit 2 роки тому

      and scored 3 points!

  • @MrPropainmon
    @MrPropainmon 2 роки тому +1

    God Bless you John. Merry Christmas.

  • @mk1864
    @mk1864 5 років тому +2

    I prefer the kids table too. Way too much fun to be had there!

    • @arandomuser9459
      @arandomuser9459 4 роки тому

      Miranda Moyer
      All my cousins (that I see regularly) and I are teens or almost teens but the teen table is awesome. We make it awesome over there.

  • @onionpotato3396
    @onionpotato3396 4 роки тому +1

    Come back John Crist!

  • @christianaboer844
    @christianaboer844 7 років тому +4

    Love this guy! Made my day

  • @shelly12252009
    @shelly12252009 4 роки тому +2

    So hilarious. I love your christian humor. U r amazing n have a great comic view to laugh outloud to. Really love ur words n so funny. I lol so loud ...

  • @leandajanetalbot2793
    @leandajanetalbot2793 8 років тому +76

    this is hilarious! Im a pk, homeschooled, super shelted can so relate........hahahhahahahahahhaha

  • @heavymetalmusichead4969
    @heavymetalmusichead4969 6 років тому +34

    Goodest thing... Only the homeschoolers were laughing.

    • @somav8
      @somav8 5 років тому +1

      Nah, Nigerians do too. good, gouda, goodest

  • @spiritisalive1
    @spiritisalive1 6 років тому

    Coming to see you in November. Super stoked!

  • @ComedianBobFarrell
    @ComedianBobFarrell 9 років тому +13

    Love your stuff.

  • @maggiematheson6899
    @maggiematheson6899 6 років тому +4

    Bwahahahahaha! This was awesome! I wasn't prepared for the Dave Ramsey joke! or the kid stealing your bike! hahahaha!

  • @claudiasmith8913
    @claudiasmith8913 7 років тому +11

    God's Blessed Me. Yes He Has.

  • @winniebrazill9432
    @winniebrazill9432 5 років тому +1

    Soooooo adorable!

  • @tigerweet
    @tigerweet 6 років тому +48

    I have a cousin named Dorcas. I understand the biblical reasoning, but they just set her up for childhood mockery.

    • @naphtalifarley4588
      @naphtalifarley4588 5 років тому +2

      I love the Biblical Dorcas ,so I used the Hebrew version of Tabitha for my daughter.

    • @littleboots9800
      @littleboots9800 4 роки тому +1

      @@naphtalifarley4588 I used to board pets and one dog was called Dorcas. She had belonged to an ex Nun. Funny looking thing with a barrel like body and stick like legs. I got some funny looks from ppl when I was calling her on the beach.

    • @rachelsteele9574
      @rachelsteele9574 4 роки тому

      tigerweet worked w a lady named Dorcus

    • @rachelsteele9574
      @rachelsteele9574 4 роки тому

      tigerweet dorcas

    • @molina4572
      @molina4572 4 роки тому +1

      @@naphtalifarley4588 I love the name Tabitha

  • @ethanslifka3904
    @ethanslifka3904 6 років тому +2

    I'm a homeschooled too! And I love it!!!!

  • @rickjohnson8109
    @rickjohnson8109 6 років тому +4

    Dude this is awesome!

  • @MissLionRose
    @MissLionRose 6 років тому +5

    Kids
    table
    is
    the
    BEST!!!

  • @The_power22
    @The_power22 6 років тому +3

    OMG! I can not believe I saw you at Loonees comedy club in Colorado Springs when I was station in FT Carson!!! ..... (thank you Groupon) awesome show =)

  • @noahrose136
    @noahrose136 3 роки тому +1

    i broke my leg as a kid on a trampoline soooo, i love this

  • @benv7933
    @benv7933 5 років тому +1

    I love him!!!

  • @drumrgal4christ987
    @drumrgal4christ987 5 років тому +1

    U r so funny. God bless u John

  • @jojomoody614
    @jojomoody614 5 років тому +1

    I love this video! 😄

  • @NuncNuncNuncNunc
    @NuncNuncNuncNunc 2 роки тому +3

    The homeschooled kid talks about how grading was so harsh back in the day. "Look mom, another A!" "You deserve every single one I give you, sweetie." Yes, I know not all homeschool kids give grades, but isn't that like playing soccer without keeping score.

  • @timfine143
    @timfine143 9 років тому +32

    "Better than I deserve" :P

    • @KyleRice
      @KyleRice 7 років тому +4

      that's a Dave Ramsey quote

    • @joseph6852
      @joseph6852 7 років тому +9

      Kyle Rice Were you that person on the front row that had to explain the Veggietales joke?

    • @aybskirmish6217
      @aybskirmish6217 7 років тому

      Grim Jackal lol

  • @Jacob32905
    @Jacob32905 5 років тому +1

    This guy is great!

  • @jigggro
    @jigggro 5 років тому +30

    I feel like deep down, he's really religious.

    • @katekatey279
      @katekatey279 5 років тому +5

      Lifestyle Christianity 😘

  • @danielhiller9464
    @danielhiller9464 5 років тому

    You are HILARIOUS!!!!

  • @lindadroy7323
    @lindadroy7323 14 днів тому

    Love John

  • @Andy_Coyle
    @Andy_Coyle 5 років тому +6

    The irony of that Rams joke now 😂😂

    • @darrylthompson7509
      @darrylthompson7509 5 років тому +2

      Yeah😂 I saw the superbowl too. I wasone of the only people in New Orleans to watch.

    • @nickkruse1734
      @nickkruse1734 5 років тому

      Darryl Thompson I was at a Super Bowl party and at least 3 ppl were wearing Saints jerseys lol 😂

  • @shuvieify
    @shuvieify 6 років тому

    Omg!!!!! I love him!!!