Fi’s Fight Back - beach day 🌊 an ice cream the size of my head 😂🍦🙌🏻
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- Опубліковано 8 лип 2024
- After a tricky few weeks, we decided to get some sea air.
It helped.
Even having a wonderful lunch out and a huge ice cream 💪🏻
#recovery #actuallyautistic #anorexiarecovery #autism #autismawareness #dayinthelife #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #inpatient #recoveryispossible
Masking is exhausting, it's common with Autism and with ED as well I see. It's ok to not be ok, Fi ❤️ Christmas is coming up and I know you love that ! So hopefully that gives you something to look forward to, My Dear, Sending you much love 💕
Hello Lisa, it really is. Hopefully with time I can learn to unmask more. Ahh yes!!! The most wonderful time of the year :') so so so much love
Your poems are my favorite, you say everything in my head that I can't articulate. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us, I wish I had your poems in a book!!
Well done reaching out, being honest. In my own life, I’ve noticed that sometimes once out of “survival mode”, there’s relief, but then more complex and subtle and underlying sorrows and angsts can come to the forefront, and they do. You’re juggling a LOT… it’s ok to not be peachy keen, and good on you stepping out of being alone in the lowness. Hugs 🤗
It isn't easy, probably the thing I still find one of the most difficult... but I am getting there. Learning to ask for help instead of just shutting it all down!
I agree, I hadn't thought about it like that before. I think there is a little post 'survival mode' stage that I hadn't really expected.
Thank you for being so kind and understanding
I know its hard when you feel horrible on the inside and you're trying not to let it show, or you can't explain how you feel but you're doing so well! You really are an inspiration. Please keep talking to people because there are lots of people who care about you. You seem like such a lovely person xx
Ali, thank you for your comment. You are so right, and I think it can be even more difficult when I try and mask it too. Something I am really trying hard stop doing! Thank you for being there and caring, it really does mean more than I can explain
I Will Breathe: I will think of solutions. I will not let worry control me. I will not let my stress level break me. I will simply breathe and it will be ok because I don't quit! Shayne McClendon.
You are a fighter, not a quitter. I know it must be so hard for you, I can not imagine, but you have come so far. You are so brave putting yourself out there on social media, sharing your story is surely an inspiration to others. Keep going - you got this!!!
Ann, what wonderful words! I've not heard of that quote before, I really like it.
It has been a bit of a rollercoaster recently, but I am trying to find a balance in it all. Not easy, but just have to keep on going.
Thank you for being so kind
Hello again precious Fi🌻
I'm so glad you reached out to your parents & took a seaside break. It's really,really hard to understand why you don't feel great when supposedly everything is going well....
But,you are still recovering Fi.Yes,you've come a long way; but that doesn't mean that you have to be on top of everything all the time. It often doesn't make sense,because you're doing what you hoped you'd be able to do.So why aren't you feeling great🤔?
It's alot Fi.You want to do your best at Uni/ work/ life; it's quite simply energy sapping. Please allow yourself a little bit of Grace.
It's okay to sometimes not be okay; for whatever reason (s).Remember; you are loved💞.You don't have to be more or less ; you are enough. Sending huuuge hugs and lots of love 💓
Hello my lovely Catherine
@@Finding_Fi 💞💞
... in the best sort of way, it was so refreshing to hear your honesty and transparency. Ughh,.. I deal with the masking, and I'm 44. I don't know if it ever will go away, but awareness has helped. And taking time to process and decompress 💜 thank you for sharing💜
This comment :') thank you.
It can be so difficult (and exhausting), hopefully with time we can work through it. And making time and space for that breathing and calm time. So much love
Hello dear Fi- you have a way with words! Your poem was a wonderful way to express your emotions! I think if your a “feeling person” the ebbs and flow of life can sneak in at times and put us off center. And I know it’s most frustrating when you can’t identify the cause. But knowing yourself,like you do, WILL help with these glitches. Like knowing the beach would help. I think it’s a trade-off because being an “unfeeling person” must be so empty, right? You are doing AMAZING- don’t forget “Fierce Fi” will always fight through!💪🏻😊
Hello my lovely Karen! Aww thank you so much my love. I love this! I agree, it is about riding the waves (and visiting the waves when things feel a little too much :p )
Ah I love this. Fierce Fi will keep on going. So much love Karen
That shovel spoon made me smile
Haha I love it :')
Thank you for having the strength and bravery to be transparent in the bad times as well as the good times. You're so lucky to have such a beautiful sanctuary so close.
Aww my love, thank YOU for such a kind comment.
It is so lovely there, it always makes me feel calmer :')
What a beautiful person you are and what a beautiful family
Aww thank you Charlotte :') xxx
You got this! Also I love your shovel spoon 😂❤
Aww thank you Layla! Haha I love it too :') xxx
You are human, we all have setbacks. You have come so far!! Just keep going, one day at a time! I know you don’t know me and I don’t know you, but I am very proud of you!
Thank you for this Amanda, a well needed reminder! One day at a time for sure. Aww my love, your words mean a lot to me. Thank you
Glad you took a day and just enjoyed yourself. Ups and downs are just normal parts of life, sometimes we don’t know what is wrong because nothing is wrong. It’s just a dip in mood or energy. All there is to do is reach out for the support & ride the wave until it evens out.
Thank you so much Cassie. You're right, it is about riding those waves. Thank you
Hi Fi! Happy to see you!! I love the beach too! It does help me feel better getting out in the fresh air. Ive been struggling too. I feel the same way, my mind tells me one thing and my heart tells me otherwise. i literally beat myself up the other night for eating an entire hamburger and bun! the anorexic voice haunts me like the devil. I cant wait to go to bed because Im so exhausted. With the holidays coming i feel more anxious than usual, and that voice puts me in a very unhappy place. It gets so hard. Cant wait til January!! i understand how youre feeling. as always i believe in you and support you always! hang in there Fi! Youre doing great. Love Loren
Hello my lovely Loren! Aww thank you so much my love.
Ah the beach is my happy place, it is just so calming!
I'm sorry you have been feeling the same way, have you managed to reach out my love?
I know this journey can feel long and tiring, and that is where I always tell myself it is okay to rest (not stop, at all, but keep to the fundamentals and make time to breathe, like going to the beach!).
I know Christmas can hold a lot of mixed feelings. I am sending super tight hugs your way my love
@@Finding_Fi You are so sweet Fi! I love you! Its been tough lately, especially with the holidays and the colder weather. Im grazing a lot, and get so upset with myself for having all these cravings all at once! I get so anxious and frustarated. Im trying. Thank you so much for your sweet comments and all your helpful videos and support. You are the only one that seems to understand how hard this is.
The brighter days will return, they always do...until then, look after yourself and try to keep communicating with the people who are there for you xx
Paula, thank you. A needed reminder. You're so right, I keep trying to remind myself that it is okay to feel this way, but it is important to let others in and help me through it. So much love
Love you videos!! The beach is definitely good therapy. So rewarding❤
Aww thank you so much my love! It really is :') xxx
You are on a journey that is filled with mountains and valleys. But you have proven yourself to be a warrior. You have won so many battles. I know you are struggling but I have faith that you will conquer once again. Brighter days are ahead for you Fi and you have so many people who are by your side.
Hello my lovely Gwen. Thank you for your comment
What a fun day!! Happy for you 🤗🥰❤💕💕💕💕
Definitely! Thank you lovely xxx
I'm glad to hear that you are feeling better now. But I am really happy that you took sometime for yourself and to do something that you know makes you happy. Please try to remember you are not a burden and the people that love you want you to talk to them and share how you are feeling so they can help either lighten the load or share the burden. And all of us here are routing for you too
Hello my lovely Andrea
It's okey, to feel not okey!❤ I know you will feel better soon! You are doing amazing, keep going!👏❤
Aww Hannah, a needed reminder! Thank you my love
Yay!! So good to see you ❤
This made me smile :') xxx
You should be so proud of yourself. You knew you were in a funk and reached out and asked for help. So proud of you 💞
Colleen, you are so right. Thank you for reminding me of this
You got this! Stay strong cause your amazing ❤️🥰🇨🇦and glad you had fun at the beach with your parents
Thank you so much Mary! It was a lovely time away. Thank you my love
❤ I'm so happy the beach can calm you, and that lunch looks so amazing. You're very strong and your videos bring me a lot of comfort xoxox
It is just a peaceful place for me, it really is. It was delicious! Thank you so much Jennifer, I am so glad they can help at all (that helps me)
Love you Fi! Hang in there and enjoy your happy place and reset to keep on going! So proud of you! 💜
Aww thank you so much my lovely! It is always so calming there :') so much love
Beautiful Fi!! Talented Fi!! Thank you for this update and for sharing your poetry. You are gifted in writing and your editing skills are very impressive!! Thank you for sharing your heart. You are a wonderful woman. You have been pushing so hard in your recovery, work , updating us and uni. No wonder you are exhausted. But you are doing the right things. The beach, down time and talking to your parents about what is going on. I know it is hard but you did open up. I'm praying for you dear one and even in this you will push through. Put your eyes on Christmas and the joy this holiday brings along with the break from uni. It isn't too long now and soon it will be here.
Aww my love! Thank you, as ever, for your comment.
Writing has helped me for a number of years, my favourite way of communicating. I think there has just been so much change and so much happening recently and it got a little out of balance. Which is why it was really important to take that time away to breathe and re-balance.
Thank you so much for your kindness my love. Sending hugs your way
That poem is so beautiful and is a wonderful articulation of how i imagine you may be feeling. Ride those waves and you’ll come out the other side. I’m so glad that you have people around you to help support you, you will do this. Here’s to more lunches out, ice-creams and everything else that’s good in life 💖 keep going my dear, you’re doing amazing even if you don’t always know or feel it ⭐️xx
Aww Sarah, thank you so much my love. Writing is one thing that has always really helped me.
I agree, it is about riding those waves out, but also asking for support to do so (which is what I tend to find a little tricky). One day at a time though... with ice cream of course. Thank you for being so kind
Sweetie, you are doing great. Proud of you 👏🏻. I love the beach too. The sounds of the ocean are so relaxing and soothing.
Aww thank you so much Val
Absolutely, you’ve had so much to work through and settle in to the new normality so definitely no need to be hard on yourself. You are such an amazing person 🥰xx
Aww Susannah, thank you so much for this. There certainly has been a lot going on! Thank you for being so kind :') xxx
Loved your poem about how you’re feeling. You’re doing a lot right now. I wish for you abundant time for breaks and for moments of peace and reflection.
Aww Janine, thank you so much. I needed to read this. Thank you
Thank you for telling us how you are feeling. That's so important. I'm glad uni is going well and you're building your support network there. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. X
Aww Sue, thank you for being so kind. I'm trying to just... let myself be where I am. It isn't easy, but I know it is important. Thank you
Do you think you could unmask and just be you? I am navigating this with my kiddo too. And you are enough, just as you are. The “real” you ❤
Hello my love, I hope so one day! I feel I can around certain people and in some situations, and I hope that I can grow that (if that makes sense!). I hope you and your kiddo are as well as possible
Ffi you are such a beautiful person inside and out. Im sorry you are feeling not 'OK' at the moment, keeping fighting, you are and will achieve great things with your determination and strength Thank you for sharing your story with us, you may not realise but you are helping so many people with your videos. You have helped me greatly to support my son through his low times (he is autistic, dyslexic and suffers severely with poor mental health) and has just started his first year of uni. So thank you. Keep fighting and please dont stress about not uploading videos, you are more important and I'm sure all your subscribers will agree we would rather you put your energy into keeping yourself well, sending lots of love xx
Aww thank you so much for such a kind comment :')
It has been a turbulent time, which I think just got a bit tiring. But deep breath, and keeping on going.
I'm so glad I can help you in any way - that helps me. I hope your son is doing as well as possible, he has a super mum
Hiya pasta sis! Always glad to see you, during the good and during those crummy days as well. The latter are to be expected imho, given the amount of successful changes you've made as of late. I equate it to the effort of walking a high wire. You are not necessarily going to lose your balance as you continue on day after day and fall onto the net, but you are most definitely going to get tired along the way and will need to both recognize that you are feeling weary and that you need to unplug now and then. I love that the beach is your serene place and unplugging with a giant cone is definitely a fine choice. Here's wishing you easier days hereafter. 🍦
Hello my wonderful pasta Sis!!! Aww thank you so much my love. I love that analogy - so accurate (I thought of a similar one a few years ago!). Some days it feels quite windy on that wire, and I think I need to hold on a little tighter. But also, somedays it feels better. And I guess that is where we ride the waves.
Thank you so much, for just being you
I always remind people that normal stressors to others aren’t always the same for me.
Positive change is still change and can be exhausting at times.
Hugo! He was still long enough to snap some beautiful photos.
The saltwater is very healing. Sometimes I wish I could be a mermaid!
Your viewers are always here and will be here waiting.
I could feel a brain freeze coming on while watching you eat your ice cream. 😂
Hello Tammy, I love this, you are right. Change is exhausting, even the positive change, which sometimes is easy to forget.
Haha I just love the sea, so calming and the salt water is so healing! It was cold eating that ice cream, but powered through :p
Thank you so much my love xxx
I can really relate to masking it really takes so much energy, keep on fighting and resting, lots of love from Sara
Thank you Sara. I hope you are as okay as possible my love
Listen Fi... The fight you're going through is a fight for life... Of course there will be good times and bad times .. you got this.... 👍👍
Thank you, a needed reminder
I love your Xmas pjs. ❤
Aww thank you Chris! xxx
So proud of you sharing❤️❤️ your brain is putting in massive amaunt of energy to re-wire your brain and im sure that after this tricky time, you will feel more like yourself and your anorexia will lessen❤️
Thank you so much Jasmina
Hope you feel better soon xx
Thank you Suzy xxx
Please take care of you and be kind to you xx
I will Nicola, thank you my love
Hello sweet Fi. When you’re in recovery masking is normal and it seems to be normal with ED and autism as well it’s what you do with when you find yourself masking that matters and you’re being honest about it and you’re being upfront about it THATS HUGE! YES INDEED, it sucks and it hurts and it’s exhausting and it’s horrible and it’s scary. Slow done and by simply going back and taking it moment by moment hour by hour hours by hours half a day by half a day day by day. You’ve changed so much in such a short amount of time you’re back in UNI you work you’re doing your eating plan and opening yourself up to change is there so yeah you’re gonna go through phases like this and that’s OK FI! I will only speak for myself I am here for you absolutely! I’m proud of you seeing your videos come in feels me with joy because I know that you’re making the next right step you’ve got this you can do this and yes it’s gonna be a struggle and it’s gonna be hard but that’s OK too because you know what you’ve already been at the lowest you keep climbing. Sending you love and good vibes and As much peace as I possibly can. You’re in my thoughts and prayers bright blessings! Love you lady
Hello my love! Aww thank you so much for your kind words as ever.
I agree, I think a mixture of me masking autism wise for so many years, and then the want in me to get better sometimes leads me to not letting myself take note of where I am (if that makes any sense!).
But you are so right, this is about taking it day by day, keeping on going but trying to build in some rest time, some non-masking time, some time to breathe too.
Thank you for this - I needed to read it. Keeping on doing the next right thing. Thank you my love
This time of year always sneaks up on me and I remember I have seasonal affective disorder - and getting outside or doing light therapy is helpful.
Hello Pamela, yes it is something I have always found difficult to manage. As the years go by I feel I am better able to manage it though. I hope you are doing okay with it, lots of love
Wonder to see you, beautiful Fi 🌹💕
I'm all out of the ability to coherently string words together today but I wanted to thank you for the update and tell you (for what it's worth) that I've been thinking of you. Take care 💚
Aww Annie, I hope you are okay my love. Thank you for thinking of me, that really does mean a lot to me. Sending hugs your way
You describe so nice and real the situation in your poem. I really like it!
Also you pronounce the souvlaki very good!! soov-laa-kee (the a like cAt)
I hope you feel better now ❤️
Aww thank you my love! I'm so glad I pronounced it correctly :')
Lots of love
I usually come to encourage you but today was a rough day for me. I started a new job in September after my previous job of seven years. Trying to learn what my new processes are, new people, new environment, etc. Today I had trouble masking. So sweet girl tonight you helped me. To hear you pushing through makes me remember to push too.
Oh Allison, I am so sorry things are difficult. I'm also sorry I've only just seen this. I am also so thankful that this helped at all, I really am. I hope you are okay as possible and have managed to find time to adjust, and be gentle with yourself whilst doing so. Sending hugs your way
@@Finding_Fi sweet girl I was diagnosed 31 years ago with clinical depression and generalized anxiety. I'm good. I was letting you know sweetheart that things do get better. It will always be there but we learn and grow and gain the tools to thrive. I hope to be that for you. ❤️
I wish, I could give you a hug ❤️
Sending tight hugs your way my love
@@Finding_Fiawww Fi, you just made my day ❤️❤️❤️
Hang on in there kiddo...everyone gets tricky / hard times. The fact that you are soldering on means you are surviving just like everyone else , myself included. Xxx. Ps , 🐕 gorgeous.
Fi give yourself some grace. You are doing great. The beach is also my happy place.
Aww Mary, thank you so much my love. You're right, and I will keep on going. So much love
Thank you Jackie. It is so wonderful there
♥️
Just curious Fi, do you have access to any support groups? I understand if that's not for you, but on those days where you feel isolated and like a burden or just crave the understanding of people who share your struggle, it's a great thing to fall back on (speaking from experience). Just a thought, love ya and take care!
Hello Nat! I will do in the new year (for autism), but not necessarily for other things. I do have a fantastic support network and people I can go to and they are always there, which does help. Thank you my love
Be gentle with your self x
I will keep trying Carol
YOU CAN DO IT EVEN THE CLOUDS CRY WHEN THINGS GET TO MUCH THE THE SUN COMES OUT 😊
Thank you so much Jennifer :') xxx
Fi, don't forget that being a Female comes with seemingly unexplained highs and lows. I am sure your body is fighting so hard to regulate MANY systems. Sometimes we are low solely because our hormones make it so, and there's really no more to it then that! Be gentle with yourself ❤️❤️❤️
A needed reminder, thank you my love. I think there is so much that is re-starting, trying to get used to it all again whilst riding the waves is not easy! But you're so right, I think maybe I hadn't appreciated how much of a difference it could make.
Thank you so much for always being so kind and reminding me of the things I don't appreciate as as big as they are
@@Finding_Fi here for you any time!!!
34 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS 🎄❤️🤍☃️🎅🎁
EEEK!!!! :D xxx