Exactly. Even though Tara is in college, she knows that her career path is going to be less lucrative than that of OP's so she's just as envious as Annika, who literally has *nothing* going on for herself.
@SnowyWolborg Partially that, but as OP indicated, because she'll be a lawyer, Tara considers that a higher status, so Tara will no longer be the "best". :eyeroll:
OMG I was thinking the very same thing! Except that this was Gymnastic Level Crab Barrel pulling in the extreme with the stretch these women were making in order to Gas light OP!
"Quit law school because I don't have an education myself or we can't be friends anymore." *"Fuck no. I am not changing my career path for absolutely no reason."* Annika can't even complete the basic requirements(an apprenticeship) needed for additional schooling, so she tries to ruin OP's life. The other friend is just a coward.
I wonder where these lowlives think, that the universe revolves around them. "Since I can't have it, then neither should you have it." Good for OP dumping their sorry a$$es as friends. A lot of today's children are influenced by friends to choose education and subjects based on the friends group. Which is a big NO NO. OP is kind of mature and has strong values for life.
Heard a story a few years ago where the OP graduated from law school with a certain speciality and one of her best friends and her boyfriend demanded that they help them with some legalities for free, concerning a business they were trying to get off the ground, not the OP's area of expertise, they (mostly the boyfriend of the friend) doubled down and called the OP "Too stuck up, money-grabbing and unethical like all lawyers" over lunch in front of all their friends. There was a lot of advice in the comments about how the OP can connect with other lawyers in other specialities to recommend different clients to. "We're friends now give me free stuff" isn't a good friend.
I'm thinking someone who was friends with someone simply so they would always have someone they could look down on. It was glossed over but I suspect the struggles the OP had before they sorted out the learning disability made these two feel good about themselves. Which is a long way of saying "losers"
This is what we Filipinos called "crab" mentality....where we either try to bring the successful person down or try to humble this person down to their level....
“they’re afraid I’ll get too ‘cocky’” They sound like they’re probably cocky people imo “they feel like I’m looking down on them, especially Annika, as if I think she’s a second level human being.” I’m looking down on her, don’t need to study anything to do that
#2: This is not normal. Group text with all 4 parents, or she gets blocked. "Why are you constantly messaging my husband so frequently, especially at night? Is your husband aware that you are in such constant contact with MY husband?" *"STOP MESSAGING MY HUSBAND! TALK TO YOUR OWN FUCKING HUSBAND! LEAVE US ALONE! STOP SHOWING UP WHERE WE ARE. I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE PROBLEMS! STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND & MY CHILDREN!"*
Op's husband just needs to listen to and RESPECT what she is saying. Too many men are dismissive of their wives and gfs who are much better at reading situations. I still have a hard time believing that some men can be so oblivious, but I suppose it is true. You almost never see a man complaining about his wife or gf is oblivious. They will complain about her flirting, but not being oblivious.
@@shells500tutubo 100% spouses need to listen to their partners if they caught on a bad vibe from someone. Unless evidence counter it, always listen to what they said.
@@shells500tutubo Either he's into it, is cheating, or likes the attention... NO ONE can be this dumb. The first messages, ok .. but after everything she's doing and the issues with her marriage? I mean... come on!
I’m petty. My reply to Annika would have hurt her feelings. “Girl why are you worried about my career when neither of your children know their father?!???”
My first Cousin called me one day, as I was wrapping up bachelors degree; demanded I stop my nonsense with school. She said that she had to admit that she could not finish school to get her degree. I told her, that I'm not far from finishing up. Second, the classes I have left I actually have done at work. Min you I was in my early 30's. This is where her, being four year older than me pulled that she is older than me and know more. I hung up, not leaving school.
Jesus Christ, they graduated high school a decade ago, why are they still acting like they are petty, backstabbing teenagers? High school drama should be left back in high school.
Hell, I didn't even accept that kinda behavior back when I was in highschool. I didn't have time or patience for it then and I certainly don't want to deal with it now, in my 40's 😂 It is pathetic.
I can’t remember what I saw it on, but one man said something about a young woman, “She’s a girl, not a woman. And she the type of girl who will remain a girl until she’s 60.” That is true of some women. (Some make it well last 60). There are still women I went to high school with, who were usually gossips and tended to be “mean girls” and bullies that fit that description. They never left home, rarely went to more than two years (at most) of community college, (and certainly didn’t finish) moved in with a man or just married without living on their own, had kids right away, etc. Those “women” still behave like they’re fifteen-maybe even worse. (Granted, there are ones who did all that and don’t). Then there are those of us who did…and matured past that age, because our lives evolved beyond high school. They are still so catty and jealous-and still so nasty. It actually got humorous, and then sad, the way some of them behaved, tried the “mean girl” bullying tactics they used on other women (those who bothered growing up) at our reunion. The characters in the movie Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion are actually somewhat accurate (just exaggerated). Oh, and according to a couple of friends that teach at our old elementary, middle, and high school, they all classify themselves as “boy moms” (or “ football moms”) OR “girl moms” (or “cheerleader moms”). Apparently they sit in their little cliques in the stadium at the high school stadium at pee wee football practice and games and have lunchroom like feuds over whether it’s better to be one type of mom or the other-even though many have both genders because they never seem to stop having kids-half of them with different men. It’s apparent what gender their “golden child” is. I imagine the kids of the opposite gender (than how their MOTHERS practically identify) probably feel terrible about themselves and get ignored.
Jealousy and bitterness at its finest. They dont want OP to be the 'sucessful friend' because it makes them have to be accountable for their messes. Like not finishing their studies, cheating on their partners, giving in to bad habits, etc. They can't see someone who also struggled and still manage to be sucessful, while they didnt.
The First Story isnt adding up: When Annika got pregnant at 18 and she is nów 29 her first child Must be in forth class or even going to a german highschool. Or OP changed some agesfor anonymity
I think that, at the beginning, they only hung out with OP because her undiagnosed disability made her look stupid & therfore they felt & looked smart. BUT OP got diagnosed & help to make life easier for her to learn & do good. (She still needs to learn about Good Friends) Now They think that she will look down on them, because that's what They did !!! OP needs to remember & see how they acted with her at the beginning in order to realize this is what's happening! ☆ I haven't finished the video yet so this is just my opinion on the facts...
It's like they see the entire world as game of thrones or something. Like they are the king in their own world, and there can only be one king. So they have to backstab people who they think might dethrone them. I think I finally figured it out!!!!!! When my sister backstabbed me I also asked why, and she never gave an answer either. I finally figured it out OMFGGGG!!
Holy unwarranted sense of self-importance, Batman! Annika and Tara are acting like they want to keep OP humble, but the truth is, they don't want OP getting ahead of them in life, *especially* Annika who has two children with two men who left her. These women don't want OP bettering her life because they think it somehow reflects poorly on _them._ This lack of self awareness is truly off the wall. OP does not me this kind of middle school pettiness in her life.
It was 100% projection. Annika doesn't feel good about herself, and she assumes the most successful person thinks the same as her. Next, if she gets a decent break in life, it'll be Tara.
Anytime someone tries to create a private bubble, whether by text or in person, that excludes someone's romantic partner, that's crossing a crucial boundary.
Story 1: I had to rewind back to Op and her "friends" ages because I genuinely thought that they were high schoolers or in their early 20's or something. Unnecessary drama. They're obviously jealous of Op.
My older sister is a lawyer and I loved to be her study buddy so much when she was at uni... I learned a ton of things that are still useful in my personal life, so, it's absolutely gold to have a friend in Law school or already a lawyer to even talk about it. Hanna is up for a good life if OP is just a tiny bit about sharing knowledge as my sis. And boo-hoo, poor Tara and Annika are just pathologically dumb by choice, honestly. Annika is as envious as a Disney villain, and I hope Tara dishes her soon after losing two perfectly good friendships... But no, wait, if she knew about the plan all along and didn't do anything, she deserves to be minioned. I once had a boyfriend who acted just like Annika, and honestly, to get myself free of so much dead weigh was such a relief!
Lol as a Disney villian...made me chuckle. Yr not wrong. I thought they were school age until I read they were in their late 20s nearly 30. It seems sone women never mature past the high school years. So very sad.
Annika had a good man willing to help her raise another man’s baby and she later cheats on him and then trashes her best friend out of jealousy? She’s a nasty piece of work.
Real friends will support you through difficulties and celebrate your achievements regardless of their own situation. These people are not your friends.
Story Two; Men, always trust your woman when she tells you another woman is up to no good where you are concerned. We are almost always right in that dept.
Setting up a group chat isa great idea. If she texts OP privately, he should answer her question in the group chat. This way everyone knows she is still texting him privately.
2nd story has me majorly side-eyeing the husband for even _entertaining_ this woman. OP (aka _his WIFE)_ told him REPEATEDLY that she wasn't okay with this and was uncomfortable, yet he continued to text this lady, picked her up when she had car trouble, and even began having _breakfast_ with her! To me, that would be the end of my marriage, honestly, from the time he gave her a ride. Even "if" the husband "didn't see the big deal" of another woman texting him late at night, the fact that his wife was uncomfortable should have made him want to put a stop to it. He should have forwarded all correspondence regarding their children's playdates to his wife and blocked this woman. But he kept engaging which tells me that he enjoyed the attention. Men aren't stupid. He was aware that she was testing the waters. He was probably looking for an opportunity of his own. As for OP, I don't understand why she even continued to talk to this woman. The both of them should have blocked her. Their children will still see each other in daycare; there is really NO NEED to have outside playdates in this situation. It really makes me sad that so many 20 somethings are SO afraid of appearing "controlling" and "toxic" that they don't even understand when they are being disrespected or when unacceptable boundaries are being crossed. ☹️
@Rose_Bride my mom (72) asked me *literally* just this week to help define "emotional affair" or "emotional cheating" because she used the term with my step-dad and he 1. had never heard the term before and 2. insisted there's no such thing, she was just making it up, especially when she couldn't immediately describe it succinctly. Some men really ARE just *that* oblivious. That's why when, this spring, when I needed a little landscaping help from my friend's husband, who is a landscaper, even tho I had his number, I texted *Her* to ask if I could borrow her husband for like 5 minutes for a little landscaping help. He was happy to help, and no boundaries were crossed.
Yep, OP's hubby is enjoying the attention. There's trouble looming on that horizon if OP doesn't gently "ghost" Daycare mom asap. No big deal, just too busy...byeee....
@@SaguaroBlossom Your stepdad was gaslighting your mother. He might not have heard the term before but he most DEFINITELY understands the implication. It just sounds like he didn't want to admit that he was wrong. Unfortunately, it seems that he has successfully fooled both you AND your mother. Texting your friend and not her husband directly was exactly what you were SUPPOSED to do. It was the respectful thing, especially as you've pointed out that your friend was actually the WIFE _specifically_ and NOT the husband.
It's important to know that men who aren't and have never been players are typically not attuned to these kinds of social cues. Men who haven't had cause to learn more about intersexual dynamics are typically straight-forward in their interactions and tend to take things at face value. Women are naturally far more adept at the social interaction typically. This is why only a small percentage of men are able to be "players", they have either learned, either on purpose or by accident, how to read the social cues to a high degree and then how to employ "charm" or "game" to get what they want. These types of men also tend to make great salespeople and account managers. I know it'll seem strange, but it's a similar, but different, situation with most men being more attuned to logical reasoning than most women. As an example, when most women complain or "vent" to their partner or friends, they're just looking for support or validation of their feelings. When men do that, they're typically looking for solutions. So, when women vent to their partner, often their partner will focus on suggesting solutions and the women will often perceive that as her feelings being ignored, when really, it's just that men and women see social interactions differently to a greater or less degree. All that to say, if the husband in this story isn't seemingly trying to hide anything, then it's most likely that he really just doesn't understand the situation beyond taking it at face value. If/when it's explained to him and the social cues are pointed out, he'll probably immediately understand what's going on, but it has to be explained in a straight-forward logical manner, not in "dropping hints". Ladies, don't "drop hints" if you want action on something any time in the near future, we often won't see them, you have to understand that men and women do not see these things the same way. Say what you mean, mean what you say and be clear about it. If I ask you "are you ok?" and you tell me "I'm fine", then I'm going to go about my day as if you are in fact fine. Don't get upset that I should know that the particular way in which you said the word "fine" means that you actually aren't fine.
@@AusExplorer Very true; I actually agree with you totally. But if women become too direct about what they need from their male partner, (and if it has to be repeated, or rehashed more than once when it seems they "don't get it") we are then accused of "nagging". Or pressuring. Or high expectations. Or all of the above.
Story 1: That's the weirdest demand from friends I've ever heard - stop you education because I didn't listen to you say I had to complete my apprenticeship in order to apply to a higher program, I ignored you, was rejected and now you think you're better than I am so I get to lie about you and forge false messages. How warped can you get? Fail to take practical advice, face the consequences and then attack the person who gave you the good advice. Annika is a disturbed person and I pity her children. It turns out that OP was a better friend than the other two in the group.Sad, but she'll make new friends when she starts working and she's definitely better off without the two phony friends.
Annika is going to tear Tara down too until Tara is either just like her or cuts her off for her mental health. Annika may have made some poor choices, but that doesn't mean she can pull down others who haven't.
Story one.... If OP really wants to study law, continue! Tell those (ex)Friends to go pound sand. Go NC with them, they are very poor 'friends'! 🤨 Second story.... It seems like Daycare Mom is too interested in OP's Hubby. She's losing her own hubby and wants OP's husband. 😮
Story 1: Another example of not having kids until you are married and financially able, or at least financially able to have one by yourself. Annika would have made it without that anchor. Story 2: This is how tech and social media have messed up our awareness. Before tech came along, would OP's husband have thought it was okay to go meet the woman in person at 11:30 at night? Would he have thought it was okay for OP to go meet the other husband at that time?
That was mind-boggling! He was an ex-boyfriend who stepped up when she got pregnant, and the baby daddy booked. Then she cheated on him? WTH was she thinking? Oh wait, she put him as a doormat that would stay by her no matter what. And found out he wasn't a doormat! Delusional!
S2: It’s not just message OP’s husband only about “playdates” and such, it’s a bigger issue if she’s messaging late at night. It’s not wrong at all, and it’s telling OP that this lady is thirsty for some action, and not from her partner. Even worse is that she’s using her kid to get close with OP’s husband. I hate it when awful parents use their kids for their selfish wants.
My friend is currently in law school and our group of 5 supports him and cheers him on. We understand when he couldn't join us for dinners and other activities coz he's busy. We'd be one of the proudest people when he finally reaches his goal. If he ever gets cocky about it, we'll just set him straight lol. That's what real friendship is, not being jealous with each others achievements, but being supportive.
The title is WILD. Im gonna guess that the friends are jealous that OP is doing well in life/doing something they are passionate about. I can't imagine not supporting my friends in their education or careers. I'm not sure these are true friends, poor OP. I hope she finds better support.
Story 1 - why is this a question? GET NEW FRIENDS. Op and hanna need to move on. It's okay to leave people behind when it's clear you've outgrown them. Annika is just toxic and she doesn't want op to be successful because she won't have anyone to look at and feel superior to. Annika made her choices and chose to be a struggling single mom with two kids. Op needs to focus on those career goals and keep moving up despite what haters feel. I wouldn't be shocked if annika turns on Tara too because she can't handle anybody trying to better themselves. Story 2 - op's husband was handling this too naively. Op wasn't treating this as the threat to her marriage that it is. Would the hubby really feel comfortable with the fact a guy was messaging op late at night and initiating private conversations? People like this aren't interested in a regular relationship. She's trying to start an emotional affair at minimum and then she would've escalated if op's husband doesn't enforce boundaries. Daycare mom is sus.
Tara wanted to believe Anika. Otherwise, she would've confronted OP about what she allegedly said in those messages instead of jumping on Anika's "OP needs to quit law school" nonsense. Were those ages right? Because no way these women are almost 30 pulling this
Tara gave herself away when she said that she thought OP was trying to, "Be the best one." If I was OP and heard that, my questions would be, "Since when have we had a hierarchy in this group? Who is the current 'best one' I'm supposedly trying to replace? You? Annika? Basically what you're telling me is that you are only ok with me being in my life when I'm 'in my place', is that it? You and Annika have always thought you were better than me and now you're threatened by my hard work and success while you two are floundering? You are truly pathetic, Tara."
Story 2: I will message people at all hours. But A) I try not to spam people with notifications, B) I do not expect messages back until it's convenient. If it's time-sensitive I will call.
I've heard that sort of comment, but it's normally a minority telling a friend that they're acting "too white" when they study hard and try to better themself.
Well, aren't they cocky for trying to tell you how to live your life! If anyone ever "threatens" you, or gives you an ultimatum with their "friendship", then they were never a real friend to begin with. Don't ever waste your time on those who would rather drag you down. A true friend would be happy for you, as well as supportive. If anyone ever says anything like that to you, you only need to respond with one word: "Bye!"
1. Story: first of all, as a german that did study a few years ago and saw the behavior of law students (atleast where I studied back then) ... the behavior of most law students is VERY unhinged here most of them feel superior to other students, one of their favorite pre/post class activities is sabotaging other law students by destroying their things, ripping pages out of books, trying to make them have a breakdown etc, they behave like psychopaths, till someone does it to them, then they act like a victim and cry about how someone could do such a thing but from the sounds of it the "friends" want to keep OP on their "level"
Story 1: (NTA) WTF? I suspect that these "friends" always viewed the OP as beneath them and now that she's studying law, they can't deal. Keep all receipts and be prepared to blast them before they can lie about you. Annika and Terra sound like horrible people better off without them. Also, the OP studied pre-law, I guess, and now it's a problem. It wasn't a problem before. Also, you'll probably find new friends, leaving high school friends behind can be hard but leaving toxic friends behind is healing. Talk to Hanna and get organised. Update: Better off without insecure b**ches who can't get their s**t straight. Fake screenshots, too...🤮 "Taking her place as best in the group." Story 2: (NTA) Boundaries are meant to be in place for a reason. Messaging your husband at all hours is too much. If hubby can't say "Having dinner now, message you later" There could be secret social media messaging or the other mum is just so disorganised that there's another issue, no respect for other people's time. Is the other mum single? also, switch off notifications after 8:00 or whenever you start winding down for the evening. And finally, define "urgent". Update: It's official, Day-care Mum is trying to start an affair. Try talking to the Daycare husband. Even Hubby is getting annoyed with Daycare Mum, good. Daycare Mum should go to marriage counselling or get a divorce and stop dumping her issues on other married men. Or just magically fix her marriage? The ultimate pick me🤮
Story 1: I had 'friends' too that made me choose between them or my career. Those people are not friends. If you 'choose' them, they will backstab you anyway
Can we talk about how also super disgusting it is for OP's "friends" to lead her on like that for years? Helping her study, being supportive, only to be disappointed and shocked that OP is thriving? I'm glad OP and her real friend ditched these losers.
S1, I have a feeling if she did quit law school, Annika would still end the friendship. Then OP would not have friends or and have to restart. Never let people drag you down because of their own insecurities and failings. Real friends want you to succeed.
everyone in every hemisphere "want to ditch me as a friend if i go to law school. well bye then, i would say it was nice knowing you, but i'd be lying you total asshats"
I hate people who, instead of bettering themselves to resolve their insecurities, try to make it somebody else's fault and tear down the people around them.
Story 1: Sounds like Tara and/or Annika have horrible family members that are comparing them to OP, possibly with a more derogatory version of "...and _she_ has a learning disability!" and have decided to pass the abuse onto OP instead of addressing it correctly. Or that OP was the person included in the friend group to be the "...at least we're better than _her"_ position.
Annika: I screwed up my future so I want everyone to feel as miserable as me. You're going to be TOO successful so we want you down here at our level! Tara: Yea! The stuff Snnika sent me was sketchy BUT I'll always be a follower & never a leader so I agree with Annika! Dear lord, these girls are acting like teenagers. Better to have one good friend then be surrounded by two faced people. Also, I don't think I would want Tara as a teacher... she seems the type that would side with a bully in her classroom.
From the title alone, it was jealousy. Going through the story: yup. Jealousy. Also, it sounds like Annika likes to run shit and Tara is a follower. And Annika is the only one so far whose life is crappy due to her own actions Update: called it. It’s all Annika’s doing. Tara better wise up, or she’s gonna end up one day being in the receiving end of Annika’s jealousy next. But either way, I’m glad op and Hanna dropped them Tara also has a superiority complex. She got jealous of op getting in law school and maintaining all because she felt threatened about being the “best” of the group. That’s the only reason why she believed Annika’s bullshit. Is she can have fun being the “better one” again
When I first read the title, I was like "uh ... why"? Post-update, turns out it was ego that drove this non-issue. So that other friend was unable to get into the same school as OP, and she lost her marbles, figuratively and literally. I have a hunch this ex-friend had always seen herself as the "leader" of this circle, so seeing OP overcome not just her learning disability, but also the high washout rate of law school, she saw that as two slaps to her ego, and pulled this drama out of her six to not only assert herself, but to bring OP down a peg. OP, you did the right thing by severing ties with those two, and f them. You can make new friends, but I also say take this as a learning lesson to not trust people too easily. Your ex-friends took 15 years to show their true colors, so you should always keep your guard up if your new friends start drama like this as well.
Story 2 - the husband should have taken the lead on shutting homegirl down. Women like this thrive on making the wife angry/uncomfortable and then trying to cast it as them being "insecure". "Oh, your wife won't let you have friends? Why doesn't she trust you?" My dad (RIP) would always let women who tried to hit on him know he wasn't about that, and had perfectly cordial interactions thereafter because they knew they couldn't fool him. Mom never had to worry for a moment.
s2: YNW. that lady defo wants to get with husband. he needs to put his foot down, cause this doesn't "look bad" - it *is* bad. she's actively trying to homewreck, and i doubt she cares about the optics of it.
It is sad how oblivious men can really be in these situations. I went through a situation like that decades ago with my first husband, not the reason for the divorce, I handled it. I was around 21/22, he was 31/32, and the girl was around 18. They worked the night shift at a hosiery mill (sock factory), and I was being told by the biggest gossip there that this girl was hanging around/on him at his machine, and even leaning over the bins to remove her bra some nights. When i talked to him, he seriously only viewed her as a kid. One night, I walked in to see her next to him, so close she was all but rubbing on his arm. I stood behind them with a look on my face that was almost terrifying, according to other employees. Nearly everyone stopped working to watch what I would do until she looked back and saw me. She almost fell off the platform, moving away from him. I never said a word, but she literally ran off. That is when he realized I was not overreacting because he really was that oblivious. 9ne of the managers realized the situation was going to escalate if something was not done because I was still not talking to anyone, with a look I was told was almost deadly. She was moved to a different area and told to stay away from him. Later on, I went to work there and eventually sat down and talked things out with her. She sincerely apologized, and we were cordial. She had been ostrasized by the other women there, so I gradually got to know her, and she was just a teen who needed friends. She just didn't know how to relate to other females.
My successes and failures are no reflection on yours. Me failing doesn't make your life somehow better. Me succeeding doesn't make your life somehow worse.
Story 1 (before update): NTA, they are being insane... Basically they are saying "How dare you get a career making more than me!", these girls are not your friends.
It is pretty common in the hispanic community where many dont prioritize education when manual labor is the way to go. I understamd school is not for everyone, but why would they tell me that school is a waste of time and that i can make bank doing blue collar jobs. Yeah i am not doing 12 hr shift 6 days a week doing god knows what to earn a living.
Crabs in a basket, "My life sucks so stop improving yours" make new friends. They are NOT your friends. they will be back when they want something from you
What's that Club Nouveau Song from 1986? JEALOUSY!! Yep, fits this one PERFECTLY... You ARE going to succeed BEYOND ME SOOOO umm, you NEED TO FAIL WITH THE REST OF US CRABS IN THIS BUCKET!!! CHOP CHOP!! 🙄
I bet several years later Tara and Annika friendship will fall apart as well. Friendship built on lies and hate will never last. With OP gone Annika will make Tara as her target now.
Imagine being such a bully that you are "cocky" enough to demand your friend stop studying their career choice. Leave them to their mean girl BS, move on and find better more deserving friends.
It isn’t strange, she is trying to have an affair with your husband. Blocked and no contact. Period. If hubby has a problem with that, he can go too. That’s a hard line
OP’s friends were fine with her struggling because of her disability but now they are threatened by her success because she’s no longer seen as less than compared to them. They were never truly friends to her, they just used her to make themselves feel better.
I was like OP back in the day. My best friend in high school turned out to be a nasty piece of work. She couldn't bear for me to succeed at dating or anything else, so she undermined me behind my back. I was warned by a few classmates, but I didn't want to believe it until I caught her in the act. I dropped her and suddenly she was the one chasing after me. I got engaged, and suddenly, she married a guy she had always called a loser in high school just because she wanted to be the one to get married first. She cheated on him, and he divorced her. She had a couple kids and became a single mom. She pressured her kids to get married and start families ASAP so she could brag about being a grandma at a young age. She never got it that neither I nor anyone we knew in school care. She's just a pathetic 60 year old woman who is still stuck in a high school mindset. OP needs to accept her former friend was always a toxic person to herself as well as others. She will never get better. She just wants other people to join her in her self-made cesspool. Let her go wallow in her own toxicity.
Story 1... How can u allow "friend" decide YOUR FUTURE. Their thinking u feel better IS THEIR ISSUE, plz do not allow them to impose That on your future...
Story 2. I think she still has a husband problem, my man would've shut that shit down immediately before i even knew about it simply because he doesn't want to entertain another woman
Just from the title: I'd tell friends so sorry, and goodbye. This is what I got. Friends are jealous because their lives aren't turning out like they hoped and see that OP's will. So they want to keep her down at their level instead of bettering herself. Those aren't friends. Story Two: Just like you shouldn't call someone after 9 pm, you also don't text after 9 pm. Unless it's someone you are close with.
I find it very shocking that woman who is forcing her friend to drop out of law school is herself studying to be a teacher. Imagine that serpent teaching your daughters!
So OP is incredibly accomplished, (including dealing with a learning disability, and these "friends" are using their own middle school-level insecurity to bring her down? Yeah, not friends. OP will be so much better off without them. Let them wallow in their mean girl misery while OP and Hannah live their best lives. Story 2: Yeah, OP isn't wrong at all. Even if Daycare Mom doesn't have ulterior motives (she totally does), texting at all hours is just rude. I'm curious, does her husband know she's texting IP's husband at all hours? Edit: Ah, I see. Her marriage is falling apart and she's attaching herself to OP's husband. This is REALLY unhealthy behavior, and she needs therapy. Somehow I don't think the reconciliation will last very long.
1) These so called friends are trying to get OP to stop attending law school or they will walk away from her. My reaction is, "with friends like that ...". and also, sometimes the trash takes itself out. OP NTA, and it is clear from this post that Annika is "a second level human being" and that Tara is equally stupid, jealous and trashy. Good for OP realizing their ultimatum is insane and not something to consider for an instant. If they are out of her life it can only be to the good. What OP needs to do is keep the only good friend of the 3, continue making herself successful and move on to make new, equally intelligent, accomplished, and rational friends. After update: Good for OP for keeping the good friend and blocking the crap ones from her life. 2) OP absolutely should be uncomfortable with PM's to the husband in late hours. OP's husband needs to respect OP's feelings that late messages are unwelcome and everyone should stick to group chats during daytime. After update: I think it's time to block her. It's good OP's husband is getting irritated and is backing off. I think OP should also back off from her, she is not someone to engage with and I'm glad they seem to realize that now.
They got used to looking down on OP for her learning disorder. When she learned to handle it and started succeeding in life, they couldn't handle it.
This sounds right on target. 💯
The OP was the butt of the joke in the group, then she applied herself and succeed more than the queen b**ches.
My thoughts exactly
Nailed it.
Yes, they had her in a box they liked, and as soon as she didn't stay in that box, they didn't like the change.
The story of crabs in a bucket keeping each other down comes to mind.
Exactly. Even though Tara is in college, she knows that her career path is going to be less lucrative than that of OP's so she's just as envious as Annika, who literally has *nothing* going on for herself.
I started reading this and was thinking about people that complain that others make a lot of money and they don't.
@SnowyWolborg Partially that, but as OP indicated, because she'll be a lawyer, Tara considers that a higher status, so Tara will no longer be the "best". :eyeroll:
OMG I was thinking the very same thing! Except that this was Gymnastic Level Crab Barrel pulling in the extreme with the stretch these women were making in order to Gas light OP!
I have seen multiple reference to "Crabs in a bucket" what is that?
"Quit law school because I don't have an education myself or we can't be friends anymore."
*"Fuck no. I am not changing my career path for absolutely no reason."*
Annika can't even complete the basic requirements(an apprenticeship) needed for additional schooling, so she tries to ruin OP's life.
The other friend is just a coward.
I wonder if anika would do the same to the friend who’s doing a masters
Nor can Annika keep her legs crossed apparently.
@nikkismith2858 she will now that OP, the designated punching bag left. She will vent her frustrations on someone else till she chases them all away.
"Be a good friend and fail like me" NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
I wonder where these lowlives think, that the universe revolves around them. "Since I can't have it, then neither should you have it."
Good for OP dumping their sorry a$$es as friends. A lot of today's children are influenced by friends to choose education and subjects based on the friends group. Which is a big NO NO. OP is kind of mature and has strong values for life.
Having a lawyer in the friend group would be a huge advantage for these idiots.
Not really if op had a good moral compess and will not be dumb taking cases that involves screwing an innocent because they said I don't like them.
Heard a story a few years ago where the OP graduated from law school with a certain speciality and one of her best friends and her boyfriend demanded that they help them with some legalities for free, concerning a business they were trying to get off the ground, not the OP's area of expertise, they (mostly the boyfriend of the friend) doubled down and called the OP "Too stuck up, money-grabbing and unethical like all lawyers" over lunch in front of all their friends. There was a lot of advice in the comments about how the OP can connect with other lawyers in other specialities to recommend different clients to. "We're friends now give me free stuff" isn't a good friend.
@@MsCassidy23 I was thinking the same thing, they are stupid.
Seriously, I'd be bragging about it every chance I could.
Then again I'm proud of my friends' Accomplishments and not bitter
What kind of friend doesn't want to see their friend be happy and successful in their field of choice?
That’s technically a trick question. They are not a friend.
Misery loves company.
I'm thinking someone who was friends with someone simply so they would always have someone they could look down on. It was glossed over but I suspect the struggles the OP had before they sorted out the learning disability made these two feel good about themselves. Which is a long way of saying "losers"
This is what we Filipinos called "crab" mentality....where we either try to bring the successful person down or try to humble this person down to their level....
took the words right out of my mouth
“they’re afraid I’ll get too ‘cocky’” They sound like they’re probably cocky people imo
“they feel like I’m looking down on them, especially Annika, as if I think she’s a second level human being.”
I’m looking down on her, don’t need to study anything to do that
Projection much?
"Feel like" which means they have no proof.
The projection is glaring lol
#2: This is not normal. Group text with all 4 parents, or she gets blocked.
"Why are you constantly messaging my husband so frequently, especially at night?
Is your husband aware that you are in such constant contact with MY husband?"
*"STOP MESSAGING MY HUSBAND! TALK TO YOUR OWN FUCKING HUSBAND! LEAVE US ALONE! STOP SHOWING UP WHERE WE ARE. I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE PROBLEMS! STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND & MY CHILDREN!"*
Op's husband just needs to listen to and RESPECT what she is saying. Too many men are dismissive of their wives and gfs who are much better at reading situations. I still have a hard time believing that some men can be so oblivious, but I suppose it is true. You almost never see a man complaining about his wife or gf is oblivious. They will complain about her flirting, but not being oblivious.
To oblivious other husband. "Your wife is sniffing after mine like a b*tch in heat. Leash her!"
@@shells500tutubo 100% spouses need to listen to their partners if they caught on a bad vibe from someone. Unless evidence counter it, always listen to what they said.
@@shells500tutubo Either he's into it, is cheating, or likes the attention... NO ONE can be this dumb. The first messages, ok .. but after everything she's doing and the issues with her marriage? I mean... come on!
Crude but sometimes you need to be crude when the other person is clueless or worse, pretends to be clueless as it appears to be here.
I’m petty. My reply to Annika would have hurt her feelings.
“Girl why are you worried about my career when neither of your children know their father?!???”
Well damn 😂😂
Ooh! Get some ointment for that burn!
You. I like you. 😂
Critical blow 😂😭
facts 👏🏿🤣🤣🤣🤣
My first Cousin called me one day, as I was wrapping up bachelors degree; demanded I stop my nonsense with school. She said that she had to admit that she could not finish school to get her degree. I told her, that I'm not far from finishing up. Second, the classes I have left I actually have done at work. Min you I was in my early 30's. This is where her, being four year older than me pulled that she is older than me and know more. I hung up, not leaving school.
Jesus Christ, they graduated high school a decade ago, why are they still acting like they are petty, backstabbing teenagers? High school drama should be left back in high school.
because that's when they peaked
There are sadly so many that have never mentally left high school
💯👍🏿
Hell, I didn't even accept that kinda behavior back when I was in highschool.
I didn't have time or patience for it then and I certainly don't want to deal with it now, in my 40's 😂
It is pathetic.
I can’t remember what I saw it on, but one man said something about a young woman, “She’s a girl, not a woman. And she the type of girl who will remain a girl until she’s 60.” That is true of some women. (Some make it well last 60). There are still women I went to high school with, who were usually gossips and tended to be “mean girls” and bullies that fit that description. They never left home, rarely went to more than two years (at most) of community college, (and certainly didn’t finish) moved in with a man or just married without living on their own, had kids right away, etc. Those “women” still behave like they’re fifteen-maybe even worse. (Granted, there are ones who did all that and don’t). Then there are those of us who did…and matured past that age, because our lives evolved beyond high school.
They are still so catty and jealous-and still so nasty. It actually got humorous, and then sad, the way some of them behaved, tried the “mean girl” bullying tactics they used on other women (those who bothered growing up) at our reunion. The characters in the movie Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion are actually somewhat accurate (just exaggerated).
Oh, and according to a couple of friends that teach at our old elementary, middle, and high school, they all classify themselves as “boy moms” (or “ football moms”) OR “girl moms” (or “cheerleader moms”). Apparently they sit in their little cliques in the stadium at the high school stadium at pee wee football practice and games and have lunchroom like feuds over whether it’s better to be one type of mom or the other-even though many have both genders because they never seem to stop having kids-half of them with different men. It’s apparent what gender their “golden child” is. I imagine the kids of the opposite gender (than how their MOTHERS practically identify) probably feel terrible about themselves and get ignored.
Jealousy and bitterness at its finest. They dont want OP to be the 'sucessful friend' because it makes them have to be accountable for their messes. Like not finishing their studies, cheating on their partners, giving in to bad habits, etc. They can't see someone who also struggled and still manage to be sucessful, while they didnt.
The First Story isnt adding up: When Annika got pregnant at 18 and she is nów 29 her first child Must be in forth class or even going to a german highschool. Or OP changed some agesfor anonymity
I think that, at the beginning, they only hung out with OP because her undiagnosed disability made her look stupid & therfore they felt & looked smart. BUT OP got diagnosed & help to make life easier for her to learn & do good. (She still needs to learn about Good Friends) Now They think that she will look down on them, because that's what They did !!!
OP needs to remember & see how they acted with her at the beginning in order to realize this is what's happening!
☆ I haven't finished the video yet so this is just my opinion on the facts...
It's like they see the entire world as game of thrones or something. Like they are the king in their own world, and there can only be one king. So they have to backstab people who they think might dethrone them. I think I finally figured it out!!!!!! When my sister backstabbed me I also asked why, and she never gave an answer either. I finally figured it out OMFGGGG!!
Personally, if I were Annika, I'd WANT a friend who was a lawyer. Annika is bound to get into more issues...
@@zebnemma So true! "How dare you exist and threaten my position!?!"
Holy unwarranted sense of self-importance, Batman!
Annika and Tara are acting like they want to keep OP humble, but the truth is, they don't want OP getting ahead of them in life, *especially* Annika who has two children with two men who left her. These women don't want OP bettering her life because they think it somehow reflects poorly on _them._ This lack of self awareness is truly off the wall.
OP does not me this kind of middle school pettiness in her life.
@@SnowyWolborg 💯👍🏿
You're absolutely right. Same goes for Hannah. She and OP are better off without these jealous mean girls.
It was 100% projection. Annika doesn't feel good about herself, and she assumes the most successful person thinks the same as her. Next, if she gets a decent break in life, it'll be Tara.
I'd honestly tell them "don't threaten me with a good time".
Story 1: definition of crabs in a bucket. They’re mediocre and they want OP to be mediocre too.
Mediocre? Mediocre is average, one chased away their baby daddy by cheating on him and is now a single mom to two kids. They are below subpar.
Yup. That's basically the mentality of people with a jealous mindset. If I can't succeed, no one else should be able to.
Anytime someone tries to create a private bubble, whether by text or in person, that excludes someone's romantic partner, that's crossing a crucial boundary.
Story 1: I had to rewind back to Op and her "friends" ages because I genuinely thought that they were high schoolers or in their early 20's or something. Unnecessary drama. They're obviously jealous of Op.
Want me to stop studying my passions to make yourself feel better? Are you paying my bills? Girl bye
My older sister is a lawyer and I loved to be her study buddy so much when she was at uni... I learned a ton of things that are still useful in my personal life, so, it's absolutely gold to have a friend in Law school or already a lawyer to even talk about it. Hanna is up for a good life if OP is just a tiny bit about sharing knowledge as my sis.
And boo-hoo, poor Tara and Annika are just pathologically dumb by choice, honestly. Annika is as envious as a Disney villain, and I hope Tara dishes her soon after losing two perfectly good friendships... But no, wait, if she knew about the plan all along and didn't do anything, she deserves to be minioned.
I once had a boyfriend who acted just like Annika, and honestly, to get myself free of so much dead weigh was such a relief!
Lol as a Disney villian...made me chuckle.
Yr not wrong. I thought they were school age until I read they were in their late 20s nearly 30. It seems sone women never mature past the high school years. So very sad.
I'd dump those two "friends" because they were NEVER OP's friend.
a true friend would never ask you to give up something you love.
Annika had a good man willing to help her raise another man’s baby and she later cheats on him and then trashes her best friend out of jealousy? She’s a nasty piece of work.
Real friends will support you through difficulties and celebrate your achievements regardless of their own situation. These people are not your friends.
Story Two; Men, always trust your woman when she tells you another woman is up to no good where you are concerned. We are almost always right in that dept.
Setting up a group chat isa great idea. If she texts OP privately, he should answer her question in the group chat. This way everyone knows she is still texting him privately.
2nd story has me majorly side-eyeing the husband for even _entertaining_ this woman. OP (aka _his WIFE)_ told him REPEATEDLY that she wasn't okay with this and was uncomfortable, yet he continued to text this lady, picked her up when she had car trouble, and even began having _breakfast_ with her! To me, that would be the end of my marriage, honestly, from the time he gave her a ride. Even "if" the husband "didn't see the big deal" of another woman texting him late at night, the fact that his wife was uncomfortable should have made him want to put a stop to it. He should have forwarded all correspondence regarding their children's playdates to his wife and blocked this woman. But he kept engaging which tells me that he enjoyed the attention. Men aren't stupid. He was aware that she was testing the waters. He was probably looking for an opportunity of his own.
As for OP, I don't understand why she even continued to talk to this woman. The both of them should have blocked her. Their children will still see each other in daycare; there is really NO NEED to have outside playdates in this situation. It really makes me sad that so many 20 somethings are SO afraid of appearing "controlling" and "toxic" that they don't even understand when they are being disrespected or when unacceptable boundaries are being crossed. ☹️
@Rose_Bride my mom (72) asked me *literally* just this week to help define "emotional affair" or "emotional cheating" because she used the term with my step-dad and he 1. had never heard the term before and 2. insisted there's no such thing, she was just making it up, especially when she couldn't immediately describe it succinctly. Some men really ARE just *that* oblivious. That's why when, this spring, when I needed a little landscaping help from my friend's husband, who is a landscaper, even tho I had his number, I texted *Her* to ask if I could borrow her husband for like 5 minutes for a little landscaping help. He was happy to help, and no boundaries were crossed.
Yep, OP's hubby is enjoying the attention. There's trouble looming on that horizon if OP doesn't gently "ghost" Daycare mom asap. No big deal, just too busy...byeee....
@@SaguaroBlossom Your stepdad was gaslighting your mother. He might not have heard the term before but he most DEFINITELY understands the implication. It just sounds like he didn't want to admit that he was wrong. Unfortunately, it seems that he has successfully fooled both you AND your mother.
Texting your friend and not her husband directly was exactly what you were SUPPOSED to do. It was the respectful thing, especially as you've pointed out that your friend was actually the WIFE _specifically_ and NOT the husband.
It's important to know that men who aren't and have never been players are typically not attuned to these kinds of social cues.
Men who haven't had cause to learn more about intersexual dynamics are typically straight-forward in their interactions and tend to take things at face value.
Women are naturally far more adept at the social interaction typically.
This is why only a small percentage of men are able to be "players", they have either learned, either on purpose or by accident, how to read the social cues to a high degree and then how to employ "charm" or "game" to get what they want.
These types of men also tend to make great salespeople and account managers.
I know it'll seem strange, but it's a similar, but different, situation with most men being more attuned to logical reasoning than most women.
As an example, when most women complain or "vent" to their partner or friends, they're just looking for support or validation of their feelings.
When men do that, they're typically looking for solutions.
So, when women vent to their partner, often their partner will focus on suggesting solutions and the women will often perceive that as her feelings being ignored, when really, it's just that men and women see social interactions differently to a greater or less degree.
All that to say, if the husband in this story isn't seemingly trying to hide anything, then it's most likely that he really just doesn't understand the situation beyond taking it at face value.
If/when it's explained to him and the social cues are pointed out, he'll probably immediately understand what's going on, but it has to be explained in a straight-forward logical manner, not in "dropping hints". Ladies, don't "drop hints" if you want action on something any time in the near future, we often won't see them, you have to understand that men and women do not see these things the same way. Say what you mean, mean what you say and be clear about it. If I ask you "are you ok?" and you tell me "I'm fine", then I'm going to go about my day as if you are in fact fine. Don't get upset that I should know that the particular way in which you said the word "fine" means that you actually aren't fine.
@@AusExplorer Very true; I actually agree with you totally. But if women become too direct about what they need from their male partner, (and if it has to be repeated, or rehashed more than once when it seems they "don't get it") we are then accused of "nagging". Or pressuring. Or high expectations. Or all of the above.
Story 1: That's the weirdest demand from friends I've ever heard - stop you education because I didn't listen to you say I had to complete my apprenticeship in order to apply to a higher program, I ignored you, was rejected and now you think you're better than I am so I get to lie about you and forge false messages. How warped can you get? Fail to take practical advice, face the consequences and then attack the person who gave you the good advice. Annika is a disturbed person and I pity her children.
It turns out that OP was a better friend than the other two in the group.Sad, but she'll make new friends when she starts working and she's definitely better off without the two phony friends.
Bad people tear you down. Good friends build you up!
Annika is going to tear Tara down too until Tara is either just like her or cuts her off for her mental health. Annika may have made some poor choices, but that doesn't mean she can pull down others who haven't.
Oh it's very clear what to do... drop them friends asap. Never dull your shine for nobody
Jealousy at its finest.
While we may need more teachers doesn´t mean we need teachers like Op friend
Story one.... If OP really wants to study law, continue! Tell those (ex)Friends to go pound sand. Go NC with them, they are very poor 'friends'! 🤨
Second story.... It seems like Daycare Mom is too interested in OP's Hubby. She's losing her own hubby and wants OP's husband. 😮
I love how the host face-palmed. either the husband is hiding something or he is total idiot. He would not be okay with a man messaging Op at 1130
Story 1: Another example of not having kids until you are married and financially able, or at least financially able to have one by yourself. Annika would have made it without that anchor. Story 2: This is how tech and social media have messed up our awareness. Before tech came along, would OP's husband have thought it was okay to go meet the woman in person at 11:30 at night? Would he have thought it was okay for OP to go meet the other husband at that time?
No one is more bitter than a baby mama of multiple baby daddies who cheated on her man lol
That was mind-boggling! He was an ex-boyfriend who stepped up when she got pregnant, and the baby daddy booked. Then she cheated on him? WTH was she thinking? Oh wait, she put him as a doormat that would stay by her no matter what. And found out he wasn't a doormat!
Delusional!
S2: It’s not just message OP’s husband only about “playdates” and such, it’s a bigger issue if she’s messaging late at night. It’s not wrong at all, and it’s telling OP that this lady is thirsty for some action, and not from her partner. Even worse is that she’s using her kid to get close with OP’s husband. I hate it when awful parents use their kids for their selfish wants.
My friend is currently in law school and our group of 5 supports him and cheers him on. We understand when he couldn't join us for dinners and other activities coz he's busy. We'd be one of the proudest people when he finally reaches his goal. If he ever gets cocky about it, we'll just set him straight lol. That's what real friendship is, not being jealous with each others achievements, but being supportive.
The title is WILD. Im gonna guess that the friends are jealous that OP is doing well in life/doing something they are passionate about. I can't imagine not supporting my friends in their education or careers. I'm not sure these are true friends, poor OP. I hope she finds better support.
Talk about a strange hill to die on. 😳
Story 1 - why is this a question? GET NEW FRIENDS. Op and hanna need to move on. It's okay to leave people behind when it's clear you've outgrown them. Annika is just toxic and she doesn't want op to be successful because she won't have anyone to look at and feel superior to. Annika made her choices and chose to be a struggling single mom with two kids. Op needs to focus on those career goals and keep moving up despite what haters feel. I wouldn't be shocked if annika turns on Tara too because she can't handle anybody trying to better themselves.
Story 2 - op's husband was handling this too naively. Op wasn't treating this as the threat to her marriage that it is. Would the hubby really feel comfortable with the fact a guy was messaging op late at night and initiating private conversations? People like this aren't interested in a regular relationship. She's trying to start an emotional affair at minimum and then she would've escalated if op's husband doesn't enforce boundaries. Daycare mom is sus.
I'm glad OP2 and her husband were a team against daycare mom, sharing the intrusive messages.
First OP: "What, like it's hard??" lol don't let them drag you down!
Tara wanted to believe Anika. Otherwise, she would've confronted OP about what she allegedly said in those messages instead of jumping on Anika's "OP needs to quit law school" nonsense. Were those ages right? Because no way these women are almost 30 pulling this
Tara gave herself away when she said that she thought OP was trying to, "Be the best one."
If I was OP and heard that, my questions would be, "Since when have we had a hierarchy in this group? Who is the current 'best one' I'm supposedly trying to replace? You? Annika? Basically what you're telling me is that you are only ok with me being in my life when I'm 'in my place', is that it? You and Annika have always thought you were better than me and now you're threatened by my hard work and success while you two are floundering? You are truly pathetic, Tara."
Not all numbers were ages: Annika's and Tara's were IQ's.
Story 2: I will message people at all hours. But A) I try not to spam people with notifications, B) I do not expect messages back until it's convenient. If it's time-sensitive I will call.
I've heard that sort of comment, but it's normally a minority telling a friend that they're acting "too white" when they study hard and try to better themself.
Well, aren't they cocky for trying to tell you how to live your life!
If anyone ever "threatens" you, or gives you an ultimatum with their "friendship", then they were never a real friend to begin with.
Don't ever waste your time on those who would rather drag you down. A true friend would be happy for you, as well as supportive.
If anyone ever says anything like that to you, you only need to respond with one word: "Bye!"
--- Tell your "friends adios" and keep studying Law. Annika and Tara are jealous tools.
Backstabbing Friends: What kind of friends insist that you don’t climb to any height?
1. Story:
first of all, as a german that did study a few years ago and saw the behavior of law students (atleast where I studied back then) ... the behavior of most law students is VERY unhinged here
most of them feel superior to other students, one of their favorite pre/post class activities is sabotaging other law students by destroying their things, ripping pages out of books, trying to make them have a breakdown etc, they behave like psychopaths, till someone does it to them, then they act like a victim and cry about how someone could do such a thing
but from the sounds of it the "friends" want to keep OP on their "level"
Story 1: scrape off the "friends" and their demands make new friends.
Story 1: this is unnecessary drama.
Let these girls go, they aren't your friends. Find some new friends at school .
No actual friend will ever demand that you throw away your chances at a decent career to make themselves feel better.
Story 1: (NTA) WTF? I suspect that these "friends" always viewed the OP as beneath them and now that she's studying law, they can't deal. Keep all receipts and be prepared to blast them before they can lie about you. Annika and Terra sound like horrible people better off without them. Also, the OP studied pre-law, I guess, and now it's a problem. It wasn't a problem before. Also, you'll probably find new friends, leaving high school friends behind can be hard but leaving toxic friends behind is healing. Talk to Hanna and get organised.
Update: Better off without insecure b**ches who can't get their s**t straight. Fake screenshots, too...🤮 "Taking her place as best in the group."
Story 2: (NTA) Boundaries are meant to be in place for a reason. Messaging your husband at all hours is too much. If hubby can't say "Having dinner now, message you later" There could be secret social media messaging or the other mum is just so disorganised that there's another issue, no respect for other people's time. Is the other mum single? also, switch off notifications after 8:00 or whenever you start winding down for the evening. And finally, define "urgent".
Update: It's official, Day-care Mum is trying to start an affair. Try talking to the Daycare husband. Even Hubby is getting annoyed with Daycare Mum, good. Daycare Mum should go to marriage counselling or get a divorce and stop dumping her issues on other married men. Or just magically fix her marriage? The ultimate pick me🤮
Story 1: I had 'friends' too that made me choose between them or my career. Those people are not friends. If you 'choose' them, they will backstab you anyway
Can we talk about how also super disgusting it is for OP's "friends" to lead her on like that for years? Helping her study, being supportive, only to be disappointed and shocked that OP is thriving? I'm glad OP and her real friend ditched these losers.
S1, I have a feeling if she did quit law school, Annika would still end the friendship. Then OP would not have friends or and have to restart. Never let people drag you down because of their own insecurities and failings. Real friends want you to succeed.
everyone in every hemisphere "want to ditch me as a friend if i go to law school. well bye then, i would say it was nice knowing you, but i'd be lying you total asshats"
I hate people who, instead of bettering themselves to resolve their insecurities, try to make it somebody else's fault and tear down the people around them.
Story 1: Sounds like Tara and/or Annika have horrible family members that are comparing them to OP, possibly with a more derogatory version of "...and _she_ has a learning disability!" and have decided to pass the abuse onto OP instead of addressing it correctly. Or that OP was the person included in the friend group to be the "...at least we're better than _her"_ position.
Chris Chambers said it best in Stephen King's "The Body": "it's a-hole when your friends drag you down."
They are looking down on her and don't want her to step outside her assigned role!
Annika didn't go over after OP's failures to cheer OP up. She went over to bask in the glow of OP's failures and make herself feel better.
Annika: I screwed up my future so I want everyone to feel as miserable as me. You're going to be TOO successful so we want you down here at our level!
Tara: Yea! The stuff Snnika sent me was sketchy BUT I'll always be a follower & never a leader so I agree with Annika!
Dear lord, these girls are acting like teenagers. Better to have one good friend then be surrounded by two faced people.
Also, I don't think I would want Tara as a teacher... she seems the type that would side with a bully in her classroom.
Story 1: who needs enemies when you have friends like these? as another commenter put it, crabs in a bucket indeed. Dump these "friends".
From the title alone, it was jealousy.
Going through the story: yup. Jealousy. Also, it sounds like Annika likes to run shit and Tara is a follower. And Annika is the only one so far whose life is crappy due to her own actions
Update: called it. It’s all Annika’s doing. Tara better wise up, or she’s gonna end up one day being in the receiving end of Annika’s jealousy next. But either way, I’m glad op and Hanna dropped them
Tara also has a superiority complex. She got jealous of op getting in law school and maintaining all because she felt threatened about being the “best” of the group. That’s the only reason why she believed Annika’s bullshit. Is she can have fun being the “better one” again
When I first read the title, I was like "uh ... why"? Post-update, turns out it was ego that drove this non-issue. So that other friend was unable to get into the same school as OP, and she lost her marbles, figuratively and literally. I have a hunch this ex-friend had always seen herself as the "leader" of this circle, so seeing OP overcome not just her learning disability, but also the high washout rate of law school, she saw that as two slaps to her ego, and pulled this drama out of her six to not only assert herself, but to bring OP down a peg.
OP, you did the right thing by severing ties with those two, and f them. You can make new friends, but I also say take this as a learning lesson to not trust people too easily. Your ex-friends took 15 years to show their true colors, so you should always keep your guard up if your new friends start drama like this as well.
Yeahhh, with friends like these, smh....That's a hurtful thing if you genuinely valued a friendship and THIS is what they do, absolutely trifling.
Story 2 - the husband should have taken the lead on shutting homegirl down. Women like this thrive on making the wife angry/uncomfortable and then trying to cast it as them being "insecure". "Oh, your wife won't let you have friends? Why doesn't she trust you?" My dad (RIP) would always let women who tried to hit on him know he wasn't about that, and had perfectly cordial interactions thereafter because they knew they couldn't fool him. Mom never had to worry for a moment.
"Stop your education, or we'll stop being your friend!"
"Okay, bye!"
s2: YNW. that lady defo wants to get with husband. he needs to put his foot down, cause this doesn't "look bad" - it *is* bad. she's actively trying to homewreck, and i doubt she cares about the optics of it.
It is sad how oblivious men can really be in these situations.
I went through a situation like that decades ago with my first husband, not the reason for the divorce, I handled it. I was around 21/22, he was 31/32, and the girl was around 18. They worked the night shift at a hosiery mill (sock factory), and I was being told by the biggest gossip there that this girl was hanging around/on him at his machine, and even leaning over the bins to remove her bra some nights. When i talked to him, he seriously only viewed her as a kid. One night, I walked in to see her next to him, so close she was all but rubbing on his arm. I stood behind them with a look on my face that was almost terrifying, according to other employees. Nearly everyone stopped working to watch what I would do until she looked back and saw me. She almost fell off the platform, moving away from him. I never said a word, but she literally ran off. That is when he realized I was not overreacting because he really was that oblivious. 9ne of the managers realized the situation was going to escalate if something was not done because I was still not talking to anyone, with a look I was told was almost deadly. She was moved to a different area and told to stay away from him. Later on, I went to work there and eventually sat down and talked things out with her. She sincerely apologized, and we were cordial. She had been ostrasized by the other women there, so I gradually got to know her, and she was just a teen who needed friends. She just didn't know how to relate to other females.
@@cozettapierce8239I find it highly ironic that you were only a few years older than her, yet he saw her as a kid?
@@kitarrah1422 Yeah that story is weird.
My successes and failures are no reflection on yours. Me failing doesn't make your life somehow better. Me succeeding doesn't make your life somehow worse.
Story 1 (before update): NTA, they are being insane... Basically they are saying "How dare you get a career making more than me!", these girls are not your friends.
It is pretty common in the hispanic community where many dont prioritize education when manual labor is the way to go. I understamd school is not for everyone, but why would they tell me that school is a waste of time and that i can make bank doing blue collar jobs. Yeah i am not doing 12 hr shift 6 days a week doing god knows what to earn a living.
story 1: op needs new friends....
Crabs in a basket, "My life sucks so stop improving yours" make new friends. They are NOT your friends. they will be back when they want something from you
What's that Club Nouveau Song from 1986? JEALOUSY!! Yep, fits this one PERFECTLY... You ARE going to succeed BEYOND ME SOOOO umm, you NEED TO FAIL WITH THE REST OF US CRABS IN THIS BUCKET!!!
CHOP CHOP!! 🙄
3:13 "... she will cut contact with me and so will Tara." Judge Judy: "Don't threaten me with a good time."
First story: "Do what we want, or we'll go no contact". "Okay". Block. Or practice the "lawyering" and question them under oath.
I bet several years later Tara and Annika friendship will fall apart as well. Friendship built on lies and hate will never last. With OP gone Annika will make Tara as her target now.
Imagine being such a bully that you are "cocky" enough to demand your friend stop studying their career choice. Leave them to their mean girl BS, move on and find better more deserving friends.
Her “friends” demanding she stop studying law is severely out of line. Let them go.
It isn’t strange, she is trying to have an affair with your husband. Blocked and no contact. Period. If hubby has a problem with that, he can go too. That’s a hard line
OP’s friends were fine with her struggling because of her disability but now they are threatened by her success because she’s no longer seen as less than compared to them. They were never truly friends to her, they just used her to make themselves feel better.
Story 1
OP: how to proceed now?
Me: Find better friends.
The end. 😂😂
I was like OP back in the day. My best friend in high school turned out to be a nasty piece of work. She couldn't bear for me to succeed at dating or anything else, so she undermined me behind my back. I was warned by a few classmates, but I didn't want to believe it until I caught her in the act. I dropped her and suddenly she was the one chasing after me. I got engaged, and suddenly, she married a guy she had always called a loser in high school just because she wanted to be the one to get married first. She cheated on him, and he divorced her. She had a couple kids and became a single mom. She pressured her kids to get married and start families ASAP so she could brag about being a grandma at a young age. She never got it that neither I nor anyone we knew in school care. She's just a pathetic 60 year old woman who is still stuck in a high school mindset.
OP needs to accept her former friend was always a toxic person to herself as well as others. She will never get better. She just wants other people to join her in her self-made cesspool. Let her go wallow in her own toxicity.
😂😂😂 This is beyond ridiculous.
Story 1... How can u allow "friend" decide YOUR FUTURE. Their thinking u feel better IS THEIR ISSUE, plz do not allow them to impose That on your future...
Story 2. I think she still has a husband problem, my man would've shut that shit down immediately before i even knew about it simply because he doesn't want to entertain another woman
Last story update is odd, they are both very annoyed with the daycare mom's behaviour and still agree to have playdates.🤣
Exactly, they are both utterly "useless". They should have shut down that behaviour a while ago. OPs seem to be young.
Just from the title: I'd tell friends so sorry, and goodbye.
This is what I got. Friends are jealous because their lives aren't turning out like they hoped and see that OP's will. So they want to keep her down at their level instead of bettering herself. Those aren't friends.
Story Two: Just like you shouldn't call someone after 9 pm, you also don't text after 9 pm. Unless it's someone you are close with.
I forget in Germany you have numero clausus for law and medicine from 1,0 and 1,4 ( Abitur)
Where is the mood booster post!!!!😲 I really enjoy your narration and insights LG 😊 (smiley face!)
Hey, LG! How are you doing? Hope you and your family are doing great! Enjoy the rest of your Saturday. ♥️🤗
Thank you!! We’re all good :) hope you are too, have a great weekend!
Story one. Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? Wtf is wrong with people. Sounds like Annika and Tata are just jealous.
I am so happy 2nd OP and husband got rid of her but boy I was begging for them to actually tell her off and finally be free at last.
Just by the title, it's time to find some new "friends".
Edit to add: Yep. Keep 1, draw 2 lol.
I find it very shocking that woman who is forcing her friend to drop out of law school is herself studying to be a teacher.
Imagine that serpent teaching your daughters!
Wow,I would love to have a well off friend!! Jealous is the word!!! Nta
So OP is incredibly accomplished, (including dealing with a learning disability, and these "friends" are using their own middle school-level insecurity to bring her down?
Yeah, not friends. OP will be so much better off without them. Let them wallow in their mean girl misery while OP and Hannah live their best lives.
Story 2: Yeah, OP isn't wrong at all. Even if Daycare Mom doesn't have ulterior motives (she totally does), texting at all hours is just rude.
I'm curious, does her husband know she's texting IP's husband at all hours?
Edit: Ah, I see. Her marriage is falling apart and she's attaching herself to OP's husband. This is REALLY unhealthy behavior, and she needs therapy.
Somehow I don't think the reconciliation will last very long.
1) These so called friends are trying to get OP to stop attending law school or they will walk away from her. My reaction is, "with friends like that ...". and also, sometimes the trash takes itself out. OP NTA, and it is clear from this post that Annika is "a second level human being" and that Tara is equally stupid, jealous and trashy. Good for OP realizing their ultimatum is insane and not something to consider for an instant. If they are out of her life it can only be to the good. What OP needs to do is keep the only good friend of the 3, continue making herself successful and move on to make new, equally intelligent, accomplished, and rational friends.
After update: Good for OP for keeping the good friend and blocking the crap ones from her life.
2) OP absolutely should be uncomfortable with PM's to the husband in late hours. OP's husband needs to respect OP's feelings that late messages are unwelcome and everyone should stick to group chats during daytime.
After update: I think it's time to block her. It's good OP's husband is getting irritated and is backing off. I think OP should also back off from her, she is not someone to engage with and I'm glad they seem to realize that now.