So you can hear each one of your bones cracking as this giant fuck-off-line wraps itself around you and tightens with the weight of two busses stacked on top of eachother. Not instantaneous, but slowlyyy getting tighter and tighter until your eyeballs pop out and you eventually suffocate. THEN it eats you by cracking open its jaws just wide enough to stuff you into it's cylindrical ball of muscle and dissolves you into non-existence? Sign me up
if they're anything like my cat they'll play with your mangled barely living body for a bit and become disinterested letting you gain hope of escape that will never come
@Dan oz one of the dumbest chicks in my class when we were 13-14 thought there wasnt any colour back in the day because all old clips Didnt have colour
That woman who took the hook out of the sharks mouth actually did it 3 times for that same shark, and at the time of filming that show, she had removed hooks from close to 40 sharks mouths, but these were all sharks from the Caribbean that have been habituated to divers at a tourist feeding station. Sharks can definitly recognize individual ppl and there is another interesting case where a diver had been interacting with a tiger shark for close to 20yrs and It would show obvious affection for him when they would see each other, coming back to him over and over for a brisk scratch on the chin! It's amazing but misleading because most tigers are extremely dangerous, being the second only to the great white, as the biggest killers of humans.
@@lahmayoo Bull sharks are the most aggressive shark species. But Great Whites are most dangerous, as they are the biggest, fastest, and strongest shark species.
@@unfazed2370 what does most dangerous mean though? like you mean they’re the strongest killing machines of any shark but they don’t attack nearly as many humans as bull sharks or tiger sharks
"If you had to be eaten by any animal, what would it be?" It's great to see two grown men play this game. My sister and I used to play a similar game, but not necessarily involving animals. One of us would ask the other "How would you rather die?", and then describe two horrible ways to die and the other had to choose. Like, being buried straight up with only your head sticking out of the ground, right next to an ant hill and then getting your head covered in sweet syrup to attract the ants and being slowly eaten to death, OR, being strapped to a work bench and there's a giant circular saw that moves back and forth and starts cutting thin slices off your body, starting with the feet and slowly advancing toward the head. Does this sound a little extreme? We were about 10 years old I think. XD
John goodman, but only if he says yabbadabbadoooo whilst gazing into my eyes, wearing only a boys tunic, and our table would be none other than Ron Jeremy.
Imagine being paralyzed with an open wound and you stay alive long enough for the worms to infest your body as you watch them wriggling over eachother.
I was living in Hawaii when “Tike” the elephant escaped the circus arena and was stomping the streets of Honolulu We’re sitting at home after surfing all day, snapping off bong rips, watching the news we couldn’t believe what we were seeing We all agreed, wild animals should just be left alone in their natural habitats You jack with nature, you reap what you sow
@@MIngalls That would support the idea that their bite is incredibly strong. A lot of scavengers like Hyenas, Tazmanian Devils and Wolverines all have very powerful bites to break the bones of their finds and get to the marrow, which is one of the most nutritious parts of the body. If Tyrannosaurs were scavengers, their size and horrifying roar(theres a video on youtube of a possibly realistic roar) would scare off predators and other scavengers very nicely and that jaw would get them all the goodies.
Joe moaning to animal deaths are gonna be my notification tones - 1 per person, and the Komodo Dragon eating monkey impression will be my ringtone for my wife.
Rogan, I had Confrontational Raptiphobia for 51 years. That has changed. I am deeply bonded with cats and I protect them from dogs, I've had to fight those dogs off with nothing but courage for my feline friends. My final bout with Raptiphobia is over, never to return.
The most important thing is not to be aware of the attack, because although most felines would kill you quickly, the anticipation of facing such a huge powerful predator would scare you to death. And if you ever been close to a tiger or a panther you know how intimidating they can be. But bears is probably the most gruesome way to go, I think crocs would drown you before they eat you. Sharks and wolves is also pretty bad. Sharks have that calling card of the fin above the water that would put the fear of god on anyone
Grizzly would be the worst bc they literally eat their prey alive. Also they eat the asshole first. Tigers go for ur neck so it would be over in seconds. Great white would be bad but u would be in shock and a single bite is enough to kill u in minutes due to blood loss. Saltwater croc would be quick to bc getting bit by something with a bite force that strong will probably give u a heart attack. Drowning is rough tho but better than being eaten alive. Although if the croc gets u in a death roll that could be the worst. Or getting eaten by a pack of wild dogs or hyenas. They’ll rip ur intestines out
The problem with bears is that they don’t kill their prey. I’ve seen it in the wild. They will sit on their prey and eat them limb by limb. It’s a horrible way to go.
I've asked folks for years: would you rather be attacked by a great white or a single lion. The overall #s were something like 100 for the cat and 5 for the shark. People who choose the shark always stated they would punch in before it could attack them...i guess they never saw Air Jaws on shark week.
If I had to get eaten by something, it'd be a tiger or a really venomous snake, like a rattle snake, or something. Tigers are really efficient killers and would be less apt to tear you up as bad as like a bear or a shark, or something. But a rattle snake would kill you relatively quickly, as far as venomous things go, and if you stuck around it for the venom to take affect, it might eat you. The bite would be painful, but it's not like I have to worry about getting my arm torn off or my torso ripped to shreds, or something.
@@galaxyofreesesking2124 the only snake that is capable to eat a human (has to be a small human, such as a child or a tiny woman) is a African rock python or a retic; the 2 biggest constrictors. Most humans’ shoulders are too broad for a large python to get their jaws around. Venomous snakes do not eat people, especially rattlesnakes. They rarely get over 5 feet in length and their diet consists of mostly mice and other rodents.
Beast Master was one of my favorite movies as a kid. It was hardcore: Animals murdering, mythical creatures snatching dudes and dissolving them in their wing-stomachs (you have to see it. It's weird), a guy being turned into a rage zombie by a parasite, ferrets, human sacrifice, witches with melted faces, the dad from good times and last but not least, the hot blonde mom from that 70's Show (Tanya Roberts) topless. It rocked.
Oh yeah 😳😳😳 I forgot all about those green winged men who dissolved humans with a hug. You're absolutely right about this movie being a classic piece of our childhood 👍🏻👌🏻
Shoulda been called, brunette roberts invades my prepubesent dreams in loincloth getup!. As young male this ranked up there wi Conan for me. Gotta love 80s barbarian fantasy. Awsome.lol
This is the most Joe Rogan conversation of all time.
More DMT
Keoffry1 Yea it needs more DMT for sure.
Enzi Gee Oi. Take a hit.
Reel back.
Oh yeah. This and the Gorilla vs Bear conversation
This is every two guys i know after they been forced to be around one another for more than an hour.
When girls wanna know what guys talk about when they're not there
Us:
Azad Alam FACTTTSS 😂😂😂
Some girls sit and talk about this shit too... just saying. lol
Stephanie Adams yea lol
@@ColonelAmonIves Only the crazy ones (most of them are)
🤭😂🤣
Bill: Do you have normal videos of animals just chilling?
Joe: I got this video of a bear ripping apart a monkey for tripping him on a bicycle
I honestly thought u made this comment up lmao
Funny, I’ve only seen bears ride unicycles.
😂😂😂
Haha....
Lol.
Joe: “Look, that eagles landing on his arm.”
Also joe: *makes parrot noise*
*rawk*
Polly want a bull moose.
That's why we love him, he gets Heaps serious when talking about these animal attacks and then that shit comes out of his mouth haha
Girls sleepover: Omg Johnny is so hot 🥵
Boys sleepover:
lil Moss no such thing as boys sleepover
@@How2KillACop4C4B you didnt have good friends then.
@@davidderifield3820 no I didn't have gay friends lol
@@How2KillACop4C4B Yes, its totally gay that i would go to my friends mansion in highschool and get drunk. You just didnt have any friends.
Got em
An Anaconda will give you the world's largest hug before it eats you :>
Well that sounds promising
So you can hear each one of your bones cracking as this giant fuck-off-line wraps itself around you and tightens with the weight of two busses stacked on top of eachother. Not instantaneous, but slowlyyy getting tighter and tighter until your eyeballs pop out and you eventually suffocate. THEN it eats you by cracking open its jaws just wide enough to stuff you into it's cylindrical ball of muscle and dissolves you into non-existence? Sign me up
@@Kier4n99 yeah nah fuck that
@@Kier4n99 hahahahaha my thoughts exactly. That's a nah for me dog.
Being crushed and swallowed whole head first is the worst way to go
Joe "Are There Fat Monkies?" Rogan
Nice to see you
the answer is yes
LMAO I was literally on the way to write the same comment nice
Yes, we're in lockdown
He sits with crackheads and smoke pot all day so that question was obvious
Tiger or jaguar, they kill quick and efficiently.
Yeah a bite to the neck almost instantly
I'd rather just stay alive.
Jag might crush your skull
if they're anything like my cat they'll play with your mangled barely living body for a bit and become disinterested letting you gain hope of escape that will never come
Snake choke.
I asked my girlfriend this and she said a maggot cos it'll take a long time... I will never involve her in these kinds of conversations ever again.
Maybe she's psychologically telling you to last longer. Just kidding lol
@@baitedlol3315 ohhh snap
Women say a lot of stupid shit
@Dan oz one of the dumbest chicks in my class when we were 13-14 thought there wasnt any colour back in the day because all old clips Didnt have colour
Your woman wants to be eaten out for a long time? Can't say I blame her 😂
That woman who took the hook out of the sharks mouth actually did it 3 times for that same shark, and at the time of filming that show, she had removed hooks from close to 40 sharks mouths, but these were all sharks from the Caribbean that have been habituated to divers at a tourist feeding station.
Sharks can definitly recognize individual ppl and there is another interesting case where a diver had been interacting with a tiger shark for close to 20yrs and It would show obvious affection for him when they would see each other, coming back to him over and over for a brisk scratch on the chin! It's amazing but misleading because most tigers are extremely dangerous, being the second only to the great white, as the biggest killers of humans.
interesting story. aren’t bull sharks the most dangerous to humans, then tiger sharks, then great whites?
@@lahmayoo ummmmn actually
@@lahmayoo Bull sharks are the most aggressive shark species. But Great Whites are most dangerous, as they are the biggest, fastest, and strongest shark species.
@@unfazed2370 what does most dangerous mean though? like you mean they’re the strongest killing machines of any shark but they don’t attack nearly as many humans as bull sharks or tiger sharks
@@unfazed2370 i also heard great whites are pretty wary of humans and that we dont taste that good to them.
3:38 “Are there fat monkeys?” Why didn’t Bill answer? That was a great question
Literally was thinking about this
🤔
He was telling a story
Orangutan from the jungle book
There called Orangutans
This is why i watch JRE
Same
Yes, the best clips are Joe n his buddies just riffing on what crosses their minds
100% facts
Low key impressed by Joe's bear roar.
Hououin Kyouma! 4:55 left time stamp for ppl
Yes
SuckBoot you the real MVP
Holy shit you could tell he watches a lot of shit about Bears 😂
Check out his silverback gorilla roar.
"Are there fat monkey's?" Bill just ignores him 😂
Joe -"That's not even a big bear"
Bill -"No dude that's fucking huge would you wanna fight that guy in the bar"
Joe -"Mmmm no"
Bill- "No dude that's fucking huge would you wanna fight that guy in thebar"
Joe- "are any of us on DMT?"
Don't let this distract you from the fact that Tony Ferguson is the type of guy to flush his toilet with a spinning elbow.
lmao its gotta be an illegal downwards elbow cuz i mostly seen flush button that u need to press down
That's some skinny elbow he got
HAHAHA 😂 🤣
DNF Danninetyf lmfao
Tony Ferguson doesn’t flush his toilet, he scares the shit out of it
Joe “ I would like to get eaten alive by a Shark on DMT” Rogan
joey bee omg that would be so scary.
You want the shark to be on DMT when it kills you? Now that’s a death.
joey bee duh how else do you get a shark to try DMT?
"it's like road rage" bill broke me
Same bro. Most underrated moment.
Nothing makes me happier than watching my dog bask in the sun when he doesn't know I'm watching, truly I could sit there for hours
4:55 best impersonation of a bear lmao
That actually sounded pretty accurate compared to some of the bear fight videos i've seen lol
watch it at 0.25 speed :D
@@twoface3629 thank you.
@@twoface3629 now watch it at 1.5x
Burr: "It's like road rage right??"
😂😂😂
slipped under the radar but hilarious
Bill Burr is hilarious and him an Joe just have a great time.
Girls at lunch: “omg did y’all see brads haircut”
Guys at Lunch:
Joe is asking all the questions I would ask and that's why i love his podcast
I would like to be eaten by an ant...one single ant
Ken Grand stoned and dying.
Actually there is a species of ants that sometimes eats humans, especially drunk people. Although it's usually more like thousands of them.
Stefan 😟😟
thats an insect not an animal...
@@KizWhalifa. Insects are animals.
Classic Jamie not showing the video once again
Stampede Gaming they rarely do anymore for copyright reasons
ua-cam.com/video/AyhHMf8Gv04/v-deo.html
There you go boys
@@Streetpfosten you bloody ripper
It's over copyright, its ruined the jre podcast
@@ben-yf2em copyright fucking sucks dude I hate it
That bear impression @ 4:54 was spot on. 😂😂
Bill: Do you have a happy video of animals just chillin?
Joe: yeah I don't save those
We know, Joe, we know
3:38 "Are there fat monkeys?" Okay, Joe was definitely high during that podcast 😀
The way this video ended is amazing lmao
Girlfriend: He's probably out there with his friends, cheating on me.
Me and the boys drunk as shit in the garage:
Joe’s impression of a roaring bear was dead-on
This is such a Joe Rogan conversation.
Hahaha I love bill burr. “Do you have any happy videos of animals ? Just existing. Just them chilling out” hahahaha.
"If you had to be eaten by any animal, what would it be?"
It's great to see two grown men play this game. My sister and I used to play a similar game, but not necessarily involving animals. One of us would ask the other "How would you rather die?", and then describe two horrible ways to die and the other had to choose.
Like, being buried straight up with only your head sticking out of the ground, right next to an ant hill and then getting your head covered in sweet syrup to attract the ants and being slowly eaten to death,
OR,
being strapped to a work bench and there's a giant circular saw that moves back and forth and starts cutting thin slices off your body, starting with the feet and slowly advancing toward the head.
Does this sound a little extreme? We were about 10 years old I think. XD
The second one is truly a work of creativity, i like your style 👌
Easy there Satan
Damn that sounds a little fucked up.
2nd cause you gunna bleed out
Lool wtf,u must've grown up watching fucked up movies aswell, I had dark thoughts at that age too
"Are there fat monkeys?"
Yea, Ralphie talked about seeing one at the mall once with his kid.
Dennis Miller choosing a politician is like watching beast master at 1am and watching beast master at 2am lol
I love how joe breaks down the bear video like a ufc fight
Would you fight that bear??
Khabib : Hold My Drink....
This is true....
An adult one, much bigger, wild not in chains and is hungry.
Joe thought Beastmaster was a documentary before he saw the pictures again.
Me too ;)
John goodman, but only if he says yabbadabbadoooo whilst gazing into my eyes, wearing only a boys tunic, and our table would be none other than Ron Jeremy.
You lost me at the end.
Would you like my tapioca.... Its two weeks fresh
I want to be eaten by a giant anime trap.
Girls: I bet he's talking to other women
Boys:
i wouldn't mind being absolutely annihilated by a pack of velociraptors.
The most joe rogan title ever
Clearly you've never seen these then..
"Joe Rogan: Ever seen a Jaguar tripping out on dmt?"
"Joe Rogan once did dmt 3 times in a day"
4:54 when the trt kicks in
Joe:Remember that tv show?
Bill:No.
Was it a tv show?
Joe:Nahh.
I think it was a tv show.
😂🤣😂🤣 The line "Getting effed up by a monkey in a hat"! killed me!!! It might be the greatest off the cuff comment I've ever heard from Joe!
POV: you're in the searchbox typing "Bear on bike attacks chimp"
Who else watched ????Beast master and the 2 ferrets!!! Watched all the time!!
I loved those movies as a Kid.
Omg absolutely LOVED IT as a kid!!
4:54 the most accurate bear roar impersonation ever done.
UK :Dr Doolittle.
USA : BEASTMASTER!
Dr Doolittle was American
“ Joe believes in magic “ - Patrice O’Neal
Joe Rogan commentating on the Bear Vs Chimp fight like it’s a ufc match 😂😂😂
That was hilarious "I don't like my head being here and the evil is down there"
Joe has the best animal impressions 😂
Watching a giant snake swollow me from the feet up sounds cool
Sounds like the only time that bear was doing what it’s supposed to was when it killed the chimp
4:37 joe looks so high and lost 🤣
Joe “Are there fat monkeys?” Rogan
Poobs McDoobs lmao 😂
The monkeys are bulimic they, are "show monkeys".
Imagine being paralyzed with an open wound and you stay alive long enough for the worms to infest your body as you watch them wriggling over eachother.
territorial pissings at least ya couldn’t feel it!
@Deleted Account a centipede the size of a labrador would be the scariest thing on earth
" aside from ya know its gonna be a bad movie" 😂
4:55 That was the most spot on human bear impression
As opposed to... a monkey bear impression? 🤔
Jaguar. One bite through the top of your skull. Instant death. No pain.
I was living in Hawaii when “Tike” the elephant escaped the circus arena and was stomping the streets of Honolulu
We’re sitting at home after surfing all day, snapping off bong rips, watching the news we couldn’t believe what we were seeing
We all agreed, wild animals should just be left alone in their natural habitats
You jack with nature, you reap what you sow
Can we just stop and appreciate how sick Joe is at animal noises?! Why is no one talking about this 😂
all the elk rubbed off on him
T-Rex wasn't such a bad way to go. Heard it bite force was so strong that it's prey literally exploded in the T-Rex's mouth :D
Like a gusher?
Trippy Bruh pretty much
Sounds awesome let’s do it
I've also heard they might have just been scavengers. SO theres that...
@@MIngalls That would support the idea that their bite is incredibly strong. A lot of scavengers like Hyenas, Tazmanian Devils and Wolverines all have very powerful bites to break the bones of their finds and get to the marrow, which is one of the most nutritious parts of the body. If Tyrannosaurs were scavengers, their size and horrifying roar(theres a video on youtube of a possibly realistic roar) would scare off predators and other scavengers very nicely and that jaw would get them all the goodies.
This is a conversation kids would have at the lunch table during 4th grade lol.
That’s why people like it
Getting eaten, burning to death or getting fat.. 3 biggest fears.
Lol. Never thought that I would be contemplating what I would want to eat me at 2am.
Lol maybe Bigfoot would be good! He can just rip my head off
@@JoeSmith-iv3sf I said the same thing.,
OMG I so remember BEAST MASTER! That was a cool show... I totally forgot about that show
It was a movie first
"No No No! Bills Cool!" - Tiger Shark
Joe moaning to animal deaths are gonna be my notification tones - 1 per person, and the Komodo Dragon eating monkey impression will be my ringtone for my wife.
Rogan, I had Confrontational Raptiphobia for 51 years.
That has changed.
I am deeply bonded with cats and I protect them from dogs, I've had to fight those dogs off with nothing but courage for my feline friends.
My final bout with Raptiphobia is over, never to return.
The most important thing is not to be aware of the attack, because although most felines would kill you quickly, the anticipation of facing such a huge powerful predator would scare you to death. And if you ever been close to a tiger or a panther you know how intimidating they can be. But bears is probably the most gruesome way to go, I think crocs would drown you before they eat you. Sharks and wolves is also pretty bad. Sharks have that calling card of the fin above the water that would put the fear of god on anyone
Grizzly would be the worst bc they literally eat their prey alive. Also they eat the asshole first. Tigers go for ur neck so it would be over in seconds. Great white would be bad but u would be in shock and a single bite is enough to kill u in minutes due to blood loss. Saltwater croc would be quick to bc getting bit by something with a bite force that strong will probably give u a heart attack. Drowning is rough tho but better than being eaten alive. Although if the croc gets u in a death roll that could be the worst. Or getting eaten by a pack of wild dogs or hyenas. They’ll rip ur intestines out
The problem with bears is that they don’t kill their prey. I’ve seen it in the wild. They will sit on their prey and eat them limb by limb. It’s a horrible way to go.
Dude I had a Beastmaster toy growing up and I always thought it was Conan😂😂
Glad Joe knew about the man, the myth, the legend, Beastmaster 64.
“You pull a shark outta water now your a monster” no fucking shit joe 💀
Bill burr talks like grass grows 😂😂
Joe missing so many jokes cause he’s focused on the animal facts
I've asked folks for years: would you rather be attacked by a great white or a single lion.
The overall #s were something like 100 for the cat and 5 for the shark.
People who choose the shark always stated they would punch in before it could attack them...i guess they never saw Air Jaws on shark week.
Did they even watch Jaws?
At the end of the video, there is a smooth, freaky transition from Bill's laughing to Joe Rogan's logo.
"It's like road rage." - Bill Burr
That bear was probably upset at the monkey, knowing they would both get the shit kicked out of them for that.
If I had to get eaten by something, it'd be a tiger or a really venomous snake, like a rattle snake, or something. Tigers are really efficient killers and would be less apt to tear you up as bad as like a bear or a shark, or something. But a rattle snake would kill you relatively quickly, as far as venomous things go, and if you stuck around it for the venom to take affect, it might eat you. The bite would be painful, but it's not like I have to worry about getting my arm torn off or my torso ripped to shreds, or something.
What rattlesnake is swallowing a human?
A rattlesnake cannot eat a human.
@@kylein9869 Okay but a python or anaconda can.
@@galaxyofreesesking2124 yes I know that, but you literally said a rattlesnake might eat someone in your original comment
@@galaxyofreesesking2124 the only snake that is capable to eat a human (has to be a small human, such as a child or a tiny woman) is a African rock python or a retic; the 2 biggest constrictors. Most humans’ shoulders are too broad for a large python to get their jaws around.
Venomous snakes do not eat people, especially rattlesnakes. They rarely get over 5 feet in length and their diet consists of mostly mice and other rodents.
"No, no, no Bill's cool."
When bill said that thing is fucking huge I laughed
Bill: do you have funny animals videos
Joe: best I can do is bear attacking chimp for losing race
4:38 most joe rogan moment ever
Beast Master was one of my favorite movies as a kid. It was hardcore: Animals murdering, mythical creatures snatching dudes and dissolving them in their wing-stomachs (you have to see it. It's weird), a guy being turned into a rage zombie by a parasite, ferrets, human sacrifice, witches with melted faces, the dad from good times and last but not least, the hot blonde mom from that 70's Show (Tanya Roberts) topless. It rocked.
Oh yeah 😳😳😳 I forgot all about those green winged men who dissolved humans with a hug.
You're absolutely right about this movie being a classic piece of our childhood 👍🏻👌🏻
Shoulda been called, brunette roberts invades my prepubesent dreams in loincloth getup!. As young male this ranked up there wi Conan for me. Gotta love 80s barbarian fantasy.
Awsome.lol
It was not a tv show. it was a feature film. It was awesome!
So this is the jre gold UA-cam is showing me today
Nothing like watching this in September 2024 on a Friday the 13th
A bear will eventually become a bear again 😆
How is Bill Burr just so funny. Like everything he says is just so damn funny
UA-cam “this is the most Joe Rogan title ever” commenters
bill burs eye’s watching the video 👀👀👀
😂😂😂
Marc Singer played Beastmaster, he also played the hero in V, an awesome 1983 miniseries.
should put all links to the vids in the description of each clip/s and/or full podcast, would be proper sick ehh doof doof
Joe: Do you remmeber beast master, do you remember that show?
Bill: NNNNO
It's an 80s fantasy movie. It's on UA-cam.
Danny Cruz i
@@maximusareilius2262 do you think in bed?
@@NikkiDocherty74 i do lots of things in bed. 😬
@@maximusareilius2262okay then. 😏
Back to topic....just so you know, Beast Master is about a warrior who communicates telepathically with animals.
While watching the video
Jamie: yeah....haha it’s over
😂😂