Things You Wouldn't Hear On A Survival Show | Mock The Week

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  • Опубліковано 10 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 182

  • @MockTheWeek
    @MockTheWeek  3 роки тому +18

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  • @wich1
    @wich1 2 роки тому +62

    Hugh really is the absolute master of delivery

  • @HolyFreakinDragonSlayer
    @HolyFreakinDragonSlayer 3 роки тому +135

    Milton Jones is an absolute legend!

    • @iim4xii129
      @iim4xii129 Рік тому

      I don't think that could've sounded any chavvier.

  • @llydrsn
    @llydrsn 3 роки тому +180

    Ellie's voice sounds perfect for making announcements!

    • @claudebylion9932
      @claudebylion9932 3 роки тому +24

      And the rest of her is perfect as well.

    • @jamesmartin9401
      @jamesmartin9401 3 роки тому +12

      She's got that wicked sense of humor that you just wince at before she's said anything because you know she's going to make someone suffer hard.

    • @helipeek2736
      @helipeek2736 2 роки тому +3

      On NETWORK SOUTHEAST

    • @murphyebass7837
      @murphyebass7837 2 роки тому +8

      Definitely suits more than doing comedy that’s for sure

    • @mannmctrash
      @mannmctrash Рік тому +1

      @Paddy le Blanc Sounds more like she'd be saying "when can I see my family again, Paddy" from where i'm sat 🤣

  • @Josh-ify
    @Josh-ify 3 роки тому +300

    When Hugh goes for a dad joke he really goes all in!

    • @oolivero45
      @oolivero45 3 роки тому +39

      He really does make a hughge effort

    • @emilyb1426
      @emilyb1426 3 роки тому +27

      Which is ironically how dads become dads

    • @samuelmellars7855
      @samuelmellars7855 3 роки тому +16

      He went father than I was thinking!

    • @Kinlad0
      @Kinlad0 Рік тому

      @@emilyb1426 😊 5:13

  • @aboemusic
    @aboemusic 3 роки тому +54

    "Isn't that right, John?" - great joke XD

  • @michaelhughes5890
    @michaelhughes5890 3 роки тому +39

    3:05 hell of a hair transition

  • @Onio_Saiyan
    @Onio_Saiyan 2 роки тому +12

    The sexist airways joke had me rolling.

  • @tonyarichards5430
    @tonyarichards5430 3 роки тому +202

    You know it’s a repeat when you recognize the clothes they are in.

    • @Metal_Auditor
      @Metal_Auditor 3 роки тому +8

      And they aren't social distancing.

    • @jonnnnniej
      @jonnnnniej 3 роки тому +4

      I thought I was gonna recognize it because of Milton, because well he's the most recognizable. But the first shirt was good enough already

  • @LeightonGill
    @LeightonGill 3 роки тому +61

    Milton is my favourite.

  • @kjamison5951
    @kjamison5951 2 роки тому +18

    “The aircraft crashed and now you want us to pair up with the dead?”
    “I gave you a knife and asked you to pare off the dead. I’ve started a rudimentary barbecue…”

  • @jamesmartin9401
    @jamesmartin9401 3 роки тому +9

    That last one was sneaky good.

  • @MaxineAndrew
    @MaxineAndrew 3 роки тому +12

    They were all fantastic. xD

  • @luciwinters2904
    @luciwinters2904 2 роки тому +3

    What kind of bear, Andy? Lol

  • @MS-tm2yz
    @MS-tm2yz 3 роки тому +4

    One of the funniest ever..........

  • @SamarIqbal1-2-1
    @SamarIqbal1-2-1 3 роки тому +11

    “Can’t you see, I’m taking a *shit* here?!” 😊

  • @davidjmccann4187
    @davidjmccann4187 3 роки тому +92

    I think we all have haircuts like Milton at the moment

    • @BuzzinVideography
      @BuzzinVideography 3 роки тому +2

      Not if your best friend is a hair dresser!

    • @dannis8552
      @dannis8552 3 роки тому +11

      Styled by Mr Boris of London

    • @TonyHavenMusic
      @TonyHavenMusic 3 роки тому +2

      Or Andy 😂😅

    • @nirfz
      @nirfz 3 роки тому +1

      Hair clippers exist. (i don't say that it looks better than Miltons hair, but i don't care and it sure is more practical to me)

    • @biggusdickkus2956
      @biggusdickkus2956 2 роки тому

      Not me I'm bald, l just wash n go lol. Quick flannel over the bonce and I'm ready..

  • @kjamison5951
    @kjamison5951 Рік тому +3

    “If you see an unattended bag, wait a few minutes before you point her out to police. Her husband might return at any moment.”

  • @kell1reilly2
    @kell1reilly2 3 роки тому +27

    what was the joke Rob made that had everyone ooooh?

    • @markwindow4464
      @markwindow4464 3 роки тому +59

      saga is holidays for over 50's and Switzerland is where Dignitas (the clinic for assisted deaths) is lol

    • @idc5309
      @idc5309 3 роки тому +6

      @@markwindow4464 thanks for the explanation!

    • @AtticAurel
      @AtticAurel 3 роки тому +2

      @@markwindow4464
      didnt know that. this is a fuckin great joke. i love it. :)

  • @CyberBeep_kenshi
    @CyberBeep_kenshi 2 роки тому +12

    The time in Russia hasn't aged at all...

  • @GoodSneakers
    @GoodSneakers 2 роки тому +9

    Aisle number two can have very different interpretations.

  • @rustkarl
    @rustkarl Рік тому

    This one is one of my favourites.

  • @AA-tl8im
    @AA-tl8im 3 роки тому +11

    Check out number 3! 🤣😂

  • @PtolemyJones
    @PtolemyJones 3 роки тому +99

    I wonder if they have ever done the category 'Things you wouldn't hear on Mock the Week'

    • @Adlerjunges83
      @Adlerjunges83 3 роки тому

      Yeah

    • @kieranmorris8429
      @kieranmorris8429 3 роки тому +5

      Just rattle off some frankie boyle jokes

    • @davidtaylor7681
      @davidtaylor7681 2 роки тому +6

      Surely that would create a paradox.

    • @moe_jama2852
      @moe_jama2852 2 роки тому +5

      They did it in their final episode a week and a half ago

    • @rustkarl
      @rustkarl Рік тому +1

      It was the last Scenes We’d Like to See topic.

  • @kaynibuawolor5785
    @kaynibuawolor5785 2 роки тому +1

    The guy in the jacket and pink shirt 👌🏾

  • @herbivorethecarnivore8447
    @herbivorethecarnivore8447 2 роки тому +4

    5:48
    This aged nicely

  • @michaelscott6022
    @michaelscott6022 3 роки тому +141

    Be on the lookout for cougars; they attempt to camouflage themselves with heavy makeup and leopard-print articles of clothing, and they like their men young and tender.

    • @Koreviking
      @Koreviking 3 роки тому +6

      ...and that’s why they say men just aren’t funny.

    • @barneymetcalfe8896
      @barneymetcalfe8896 3 роки тому

      @@Koreviking isn’t it women that people usually say aren’t funny

    • @Koreviking
      @Koreviking 3 роки тому +1

      @@barneymetcalfe8896 What? Never heard such a thing.

    • @distantcoff7391
      @distantcoff7391 3 роки тому

      @@barneymetcalfe8896 Evidence is in. You are not funny.
      Useful is available 😉👍😄

    • @Koreviking
      @Koreviking 3 роки тому

      @@distantcoff7391 You’re not making any sense.

  • @yetiwheeler7972
    @yetiwheeler7972 3 роки тому +7

    All the programs on the BBC are Fighting to Survive 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @Psiberzerker
    @Psiberzerker 3 роки тому +9

    Urine trouble now!

    • @Psiberzerker
      @Psiberzerker 3 роки тому +4

      Hugh, and Milton on the same side is practically cheating.

  • @crawshyne1915
    @crawshyne1915 3 роки тому +8

    2:25 - 2:39 Lol sounds like the prequel to Open Season! 😂 Andy never fails to amuse.

  • @alistairrae9807
    @alistairrae9807 3 роки тому +26

    For tonight challenge you must survive the Red Wedding

  • @Spidey-eq1eh
    @Spidey-eq1eh Рік тому +1

    2:24 to 2:37

  • @kjamison5951
    @kjamison5951 Рік тому

    “Well, Frank has failed that challenge so there will be no hamper for the other contestants with which to make dinner. Instead, Frank will become dinner.”

  • @chrisgarton4225
    @chrisgarton4225 2 роки тому +2

    I have the conch! What no one has read Lord of the Flies?

  • @OliTheMonarchy
    @OliTheMonarchy 2 роки тому +2

    Could someone explain the seatbelt sign and Saga Switzerland jokes?

    • @kralik394
      @kralik394 2 роки тому +3

      The seat belt sign joke is the old "women can't drive" joke.

    • @kjamison5951
      @kjamison5951 2 роки тому +3

      Saga provide holidays for people over fifty years old. Specifically so they can enjoy peace and quiet away from the local nightlife and younger holidaymakers. Switzerland is home to Dignitas, an organisation devoted to assisted dying.
      Basically, old people get a one way ticket to killing themselves.

    • @OliTheMonarchy
      @OliTheMonarchy 2 роки тому +1

      Cheers you two!

    • @loyalpiper
      @loyalpiper 2 роки тому +7

      I think the Swiss one is a assisted dying joke

  • @Gwenisfreakinawesome
    @Gwenisfreakinawesome 3 роки тому +21

    I don’t understand miltons joke about working at the post office

    • @petertaylor4980
      @petertaylor4980 3 роки тому +24

      Back in the day, pensioners went to the Post Office to collect their pensions; they would queue and be called to a window.

    • @Gwenisfreakinawesome
      @Gwenisfreakinawesome 3 роки тому +7

      @@petertaylor4980 Okay sure, but what does that have to do with crumpets and widows? Is he saying the widow is going to give him a crumpet?

    • @petertaylor4980
      @petertaylor4980 3 роки тому +26

      @@Gwenisfreakinawesome, crumpet is also a slang word for an attractive member of the opposite sex.

    • @Gwenisfreakinawesome
      @Gwenisfreakinawesome 3 роки тому +14

      @@petertaylor4980 Ooooh okay thanks! I'm not British, I thought he was literally just talking about the food.

    • @paulsurbitonryan9632
      @paulsurbitonryan9632 3 роки тому +5

      It’s a play on the word “window “ replacing it with “ widow “

  • @oscarpye8151
    @oscarpye8151 3 роки тому +5

    Ellie Taylor 😛

  • @grant8653
    @grant8653 Рік тому +1

    Does the company Tannoy have like a monopoly on loudspeaker announcement systems in the UK? Or is it just like Thermos and Hoover where people don't realize they are company names and not what the product is.

    • @thehellyousay
      @thehellyousay Рік тому +1

      It's Frisbee ...

    • @bobsmith12345
      @bobsmith12345 9 місяців тому +1

      2nd one

    • @grant8653
      @grant8653 9 місяців тому

      @@bobsmith12345 Thank you. Are there any other brand names that are now common words in the UK?

  • @CricketEngland
    @CricketEngland 3 роки тому +12

    3:23 “The train now arriving ON TIME on platform 2 is the southern service to London Victoria”

    • @saint_lewis
      @saint_lewis 3 роки тому

      Would they specify if it’s on time?

    • @oolivero45
      @oolivero45 3 роки тому +5

      @@saint_lewis With Sothern? Absolutely. They're always late - being on time would be a miracle that they'd be talking about for weeks.

  • @charleschuckfinley3304
    @charleschuckfinley3304 3 роки тому +25

    Ellie Taylor’s legs....I rest my case 🥰

    • @iz723
      @iz723 3 роки тому +6

      Ellie Taylors everything

    • @c.t5136
      @c.t5136 3 роки тому +3

      ahhhhhhhhhhh! so, that's why she's on the programme. Should be on the pottiest mouth show.

    • @charleschuckfinley3304
      @charleschuckfinley3304 3 роки тому

      @@c.t5136 I loves me a woman with potty mouth....proper filth 😆

  • @davidsworld5837
    @davidsworld5837 2 роки тому

    surely the joke should be the train arriving at platform 1 . Is the 5;20 and is on time.

  • @gregoryuk
    @gregoryuk 3 роки тому +5

    Dreading dinner 😅

  • @georgebennett3197
    @georgebennett3197 Місяць тому

    Check out number three!!!!

  • @ChaosJesterYT
    @ChaosJesterYT 3 роки тому +4

    Things you wouldn’t hear on a survival show:
    “What’s up bitches, I know it’s unorthodox for a Ghost to host but...”

  • @johnlawrence2757
    @johnlawrence2757 2 роки тому +1

    They’ve cut my favourite :- “will all virgins please report to the virgin check-in desk. Inevitable I suppose. Shame though!

  • @BuzzinVideography
    @BuzzinVideography 3 роки тому +4

    This episode is older than the queen

  • @themurrrr
    @themurrrr 3 роки тому +6

    For a second I thought the girl was Daisy Ridley...

  • @zachariatekawaare4761
    @zachariatekawaare4761 2 роки тому +3

    Oi ! Two of my least favorite comedians; Rob Becket and Ellie Taylor. Ellie is the Dane Cook of British comedy.

  • @peterdickinson7842
    @peterdickinson7842 3 роки тому +1

    Old Age
    Pensioners bus pass holders getting bolder!

  • @dave-in-nj9393
    @dave-in-nj9393 3 роки тому +4

    how about 'things you won't hear on Mock the Week'

  • @IFStravinsky
    @IFStravinsky 2 роки тому

    I don't get half of these...

  • @borednow
    @borednow 3 роки тому +1

    i dont get the widow nr 2 and saga Switzerland jokes, can somebody explain?

    • @gwishart
      @gwishart 3 роки тому +6

      The crumpet are the widows who go to the post office to collect their pensions. His announcement is a subversion of the usual "window number ..." phrase used in post offices.
      Saga holidays are for people over 50 and Switzerland is well-known for having legalised assisted suicide.

  • @pauls478
    @pauls478 3 роки тому +7

    Hugh would be roasted by the Twitterati for his Sexist Airwys joke today.

  • @georgeh5075
    @georgeh5075 2 роки тому

    5 star hotel or a won't do it

  • @RIXRADvidz
    @RIXRADvidz 2 роки тому +4

    in eMurica it's the rich that shop at WholeFoods the poor shop at WalMart and the Wealthy don't shop, they just show up for meals, restaurants or whatever staff has prepared. Food is Very Class-ist

  • @nonrevnosnibormetalbeerrev6251
    @nonrevnosnibormetalbeerrev6251 3 роки тому +1

    Elle needs my lovepump

  • @desbuckerfield2956
    @desbuckerfield2956 3 роки тому

    Hhhhhh

  • @finndonoghue150
    @finndonoghue150 3 роки тому +2

    Why dont they do a worst advice to give to someone else, here’s an example
    Lack of water, shitting like a Great Dane, eat more curries

  • @matthewiles5714
    @matthewiles5714 3 роки тому +7

    03:26 - Waitrose is NOT expensive. If it was, nobody would shop there and the company would go bust. As it is, the company's thriving. I don't know why people think that it is expensive.

    • @alira7296
      @alira7296 3 роки тому +16

      wh... what? You think all shops sell things at the same prices!?

    • @aaronnichols388
      @aaronnichols388 3 роки тому +22

      2 public schools and an expensive private school within walking distance of my town's high street. guess which kids and parents went to waitrose and which ones went to poundland

    • @douglasparkinson4123
      @douglasparkinson4123 3 роки тому +22

      its thriving because middle class white people think its posh

    • @lukey1989
      @lukey1989 3 роки тому +5

      Matthew is funny🤦‍♂️ what a donkey😂

    • @racheltinnion512
      @racheltinnion512 3 роки тому +7

      It's definitely expensive

  • @Felipe-js1wl
    @Felipe-js1wl 3 роки тому +1

    This is a repost. Why bother.

  • @nycsox987
    @nycsox987 3 роки тому

    Rip off of whose line...

    • @hadron4834
      @hadron4834 3 роки тому +2

      Not really

    • @annmariephil
      @annmariephil 3 роки тому +3

      Same creator ... Dan patterson. Started it all with whos line here then in states ... mock the week followed

    • @kjamison5951
      @kjamison5951 2 роки тому

      SWLTS against SFAH, nope.

  • @deadshot8077
    @deadshot8077 3 роки тому +1

    Who is the very unfunny old man in a Hawaiian shirt?

  • @lambrettadaz3379
    @lambrettadaz3379 2 роки тому +1

    Comedy really is dead

  • @MetalGearTenno
    @MetalGearTenno 3 роки тому +2

    Mock the week has been rubbish since they kicked Frankie Boyle off it.

  • @guitaristchris
    @guitaristchris 3 роки тому +2

    Milton Jones is the least funniest comedian on the show

    • @keithwallis3612
      @keithwallis3612 3 роки тому +18

      In your opinion.

    • @KissedByFire16
      @KissedByFire16 3 роки тому +10

      He's the only one liner comedian I find funny.

    • @lukey1989
      @lukey1989 3 роки тому +16

      Chris clearly doesn't get wordplay🤷‍♂️😂

    • @wayneessar7489
      @wayneessar7489 3 роки тому +14

      @@lukey1989 Chris's sense of humor needs a booster shot.

    • @PerthScienceClinic
      @PerthScienceClinic 3 роки тому +6

      See, you're just wrong about that. He's about the only one who can consistently tell jokes that don't rely on genitalia.

  • @TheFreeThinkingMan
    @TheFreeThinkingMan 3 роки тому +25

    Not being British I thought a Tannoy was like an alcoholic drink or something... was a bit confused until i looked it up lol

    • @AtticAurel
      @AtticAurel 3 роки тому

      same here :D

    • @RIXRADvidz
      @RIXRADvidz 2 роки тому +4

      yeah, us muricans call it a PA system. Public Address/Announcement system,

    • @andreww2098
      @andreww2098 2 роки тому +5

      it's a trade name like calling a vacuum cleaner a Hoover, or telling someone to Google something, Tannoy still make speakers

    • @RobG001
      @RobG001 2 роки тому

      @@andreww2098 Damn right, still using the 607's i bought back in the errr the '80s or 90s maybe. :)

  • @Spidey-eq1eh
    @Spidey-eq1eh Рік тому +1

    4:35 to 4:44