I guess you haven't seen Frankie Howerd in "Up Pompeii" then, he used to use that line all the time when he was trying to deliver is monologue to camera.
@@vhaarr I believe Julian’s anecdote, about the time he accidentally “shat himself”, when he met the Queen, was in his previous Qi appearance; the episode was called “Differences”, and also featured Jo Brand, and Dara Ó Briain (along with Alan Davies, obviously)...and yes, I’m well aware of how sad I am, for knowing both the name of the episode, and who else was on the panel haha. In my defence, it’s one of my favourite episodes; not only that, but I watched it recently, and have seen it dozens- if not hundreds of times (and that is no exaggeration) before...which I realise only further adds to my being a very sad, sod haha. It’s such a fantastic episode, and Julian Clary is really on form, making both Alan Davies, and Jo Brand, cry with laughter, at his Queen story; I can’t remember exactly, but I recall seeing an interview, with Alan Davies, where he said something about Julian’s story being one of his favourite moments on the show, and that he (Julian) made everyone absolutely lose it during the taping. I would have loved to have been in the audience for that episode, to see how long it took for everyone to regain their composure; I imagine they probably had to edit out a great deal of it, for time constraints haha. Hope you, your loved ones, and anybody that sees this reply of mine. are keeping safe, well, and sane, during these messed up times. 🤞😀🤞 All the very best. 👍😀
8:30 Phil has said in interviews that around this era of QI he was in awe of Stephen’s google-like brain and ability to control the room, but discovered he could thwart him by simply flirting outrageously, just for the fun of seeing Stephen become an embarrassed jelly.
You should get the audiobook edition. "Stephen pumps his custard. The end of his hose gushes a great plume skyward with sudden force. The presented flame ignites Stephen's massive eruption in a hot, flaming jet. Everyone cheers ... and relaxes ... sated for the moment."
Nigel Williams I thought so too! I can relate though, I have a woman come around almost as often... usually leaves the place a disheveled mess if I’m honest.
So glad I wasn’t the only one who appreciated that! It was so funny I was ironically not laughing because I was so impressed by how clever and quick-witted it was
It's so good that straight white men can laugh at it and not piss of lesbians. Dont like everything about Sandi, but her deadpanerism and quick quips are amazing.
He's there to act the clown across from Stephen's drier /intellectual humour. It's often said that Alan is very clever, it just takes a bit of watching him to realise that most of the things he says are very deliberate and extremely funny. You can see the same dynamic between David Mitchell and Lee Mack in Would I Lie To You
@@tomparry9829 Alan & Stephen's connection was Amazing, they way the flowed together, but also like the cheeky Kid & the Headmaster with a sense of humour 🥰 plus I am really liking Sandy as she has that similar Headmistress Quality but in her own way & not trying to be another Stephen
I love Sandi as host- not more than Stephen, just in a different way (oo-er!)- I love the way Alan's particular brand of childishly absurd pythonesque humour can make her genuinely crack up (like in the bum-biting beetle/5-headed caterpiller bit or his Julie Andrews impression) makes for fantastic tv.
@@peterclarke7240 I agree. Sandi is just as good Stephen hosting QI but different. The show is equally enjoyable with either host in my opinion. Alan is very good and has a great sense of humour but sometimes he can get a bit irritating. The 5 headed catapiller rant and the Julie Andrews impersonation were epic comic gold. He is quite smart as he can answer some of questions being asked. QI is a very well thought out show. I love it.
I love the one where Stephen is talking about the card game Find The Lady. Jimmy Carr says "I played that game in Thailand once and had a bad experience." And Stephen replies "Did you feel a bit of a dick?" 😂
@@corriedebeer799 Many of us are dear. The last time I saw a vagina I was coming out of one. Never seen one up close since and never had the urge to look. And God's not welcome in my house unless he brings a bottle of wine and takes his shoes off. It might be a house of sin but we have standards.
@@adelucas4824 Jesus is welcome in your house though. He is great with the garden sheers. Your hedges have never looked better since Jesus of Mexico city came into your life..
Stephen tries to avoid them, and gets so embarrassed when something he says sounds like one... and then at the end he goes all in with "ARE YOU READY FOR ME TO PUMP THE CUSTARD?"
@@ilovemydog6847 Phil, Bill and Alan bounce off each other brilliantly, and when they (either as two or three) were in the mood, poor Stephen wouldn't stand a chance
Ross: “Philip Schofield’s hand up his bum” Steven: “That takes me back a bit... no, I didn’t mean like *that*” 2020 and apparently QI predicted the future like the Simpsons
@@potmki6601 Steven meant how Phillip Schofield's first TV show (a children's TV show set in a broom cupboard) but the joke is that Steven and Phillip (recently) are both openly gay and of course unlike hetrosexual relationships, homosexual relationships are not based on preference it's just anyone else so Philip Schofield's hand might be up Steven's arse as we speak
@@jenna443 > and of course unlike hetrosexual relationships, homosexual relationships are not based on preference it's just anyone else somehow it became less clear
@Walt F., I once lived with a lady in Edmonton, Canada who told me that she'd worked legally as a prostitute in Las Vegas and Rodney Dangerfield was one of her clients. She also told me that he wore the most disgustingly filthy underpants that she'd ever seen and that he was one of the main reasons that she got out of that profession.
I liked when stephen was explaining about how custard is sometimes a solid. Said things like " if you slip your finger in.." and "if you slap it hard" nothing he could say sounded right 😄
“There’s just too many dooble entendres; you pumping custard!” Stop it; are you ready for me to pump the custard?!” “OH MY GOD!” "...WAITING FOR YOU TO PUMP YOUR CUSTARD!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yep, and quit ending the video like this one, before the custard explosion..........which I found else where. Like others have said, quit the fair ground muzak too.
I love when Stephen looks at the audience and just says "No. Behave."
I guess you haven't seen Frankie Howerd in "Up Pompeii" then, he used to use that line all the time when he was trying to deliver is monologue to camera.
@@Beckford4000 Ooh, stop it. No.
That episode has one of the best anecdotes of the whole series as well, when Julian met the Queen.
@@vhaarr
I believe Julian’s anecdote, about the time he accidentally “shat himself”, when he met the Queen, was in his previous Qi appearance; the episode was called “Differences”, and also featured Jo Brand, and Dara Ó Briain (along with Alan Davies, obviously)...and yes, I’m well aware of how sad I am, for knowing both the name of the episode, and who else was on the panel haha.
In my defence, it’s one of my favourite episodes; not only that, but I watched it recently, and have seen it dozens- if not hundreds of times (and that is no exaggeration) before...which I realise only further adds to my being a very sad, sod haha.
It’s such a fantastic episode, and Julian Clary is really on form, making both Alan Davies, and Jo Brand, cry with laughter, at his Queen story; I can’t remember exactly, but I recall seeing an interview, with Alan Davies, where he said something about Julian’s story being one of his favourite moments on the show, and that he (Julian) made everyone absolutely lose it during the taping.
I would have loved to have been in the audience for that episode, to see how long it took for everyone to regain their composure; I imagine they probably had to edit out a great deal of it, for time constraints haha.
Hope you, your loved ones, and anybody that sees this reply of mine. are keeping safe, well, and sane, during these messed up times. 🤞😀🤞
All the very best. 👍😀
Can someone explain the joke/innuendo?
8:30 Phil has said in interviews that around this era of QI he was in awe of Stephen’s google-like brain and ability to control the room, but discovered he could thwart him by simply flirting outrageously, just for the fun of seeing Stephen become an embarrassed jelly.
Phil is wonderful.
I couldn’t make out the question: How many muscles are there _____ your fingers?
@@poptacular6625 in your fingers.
@@McKavian Hmmm, I hear something that sounds like "instant" before he says "in" but that doesn't make sense.
@@poptacular6625 he says "how many muscles are there, incidently, in your fingers"
"I have a woman in twice a week"
I must have seen that clip over 50 times and it still makes me laugh out loud
And then Liza Tarbuck runs with it. You just don't get that grade of comedy in every day ordinary telly.
it really is very very funny
Are you really going to blue ball me right when Stephen was pumping his custard.
You should get the audiobook edition. "Stephen pumps his custard. The end of his hose gushes a great plume skyward with sudden force. The presented flame ignites Stephen's massive eruption in a hot, flaming jet. Everyone cheers ... and relaxes ... sated for the moment."
Biboo!
@@theoriginalshew Rock Rock! :D
"It's going to rise. I promise you." Stephen really does have the gift for just stumbling inadvertently into innuendos.
Michael Gibb Freudian slits - er, slips - as he says.
His obliviousness and innocence is what makes it
That was defo intentional
I'd say most of them look intentional to me. I mean, we haven't been saying YourAnus for decades.
All his lines are scripted
This must be the most unsatisfying ending ever of a QI video.
Indeed. Cut of at the high point of pumping custard... :P
I know, they took us to the edge...
Yeah, now we all have blue whales.
I also wish they would play the other clips a bit longer, so you know what the answer of the question was, or where the bear grylls story headed.
@@piotrmil (KLAXON) *BLUE WHALE*
“I have a woman in twice a week,” is the best lesbian joke ever told on television 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 omfg
Nigel Williams I thought so too! I can relate though, I have a woman come around almost as often... usually leaves the place a disheveled mess if I’m honest.
So glad I wasn’t the only one who appreciated that! It was so funny I was ironically not laughing because I was so impressed by how clever and quick-witted it was
That joke could be in every compilation on qi and I wouldn't be disappointed.
XD yep
It's so good that straight white men can laugh at it and not piss of lesbians. Dont like everything about Sandi, but her deadpanerism and quick quips are amazing.
Fry - “Now, Alan- why haven’t I eaten your noodles?”
Davies - “Because we haven’t yet agreed on a fee.”
1:43 'I must remember this speech'.. great wit from Alan - cracked me up good.
I really want the raw audio of Stephen Fry yelling *"Are you ready for me to pump the custard?"*
Ringtone?
@@alumbo Audio loop to fall asleep to
I used to have a ringtone of him from QI saying, "Now what you need is length and thickness"
as raw as it'll get in this video at about 2:17 ua-cam.com/video/LVJ8lk50TS4/v-deo.htmlm40s
*"OH MY GOD....."*
I don't understand how when Qi started I thought Alan Davies was the weak link. He's gold.
He is contracted to be a goofball.. sort of
He's there to act the clown across from Stephen's drier /intellectual humour. It's often said that Alan is very clever, it just takes a bit of watching him to realise that most of the things he says are very deliberate and extremely funny. You can see the same dynamic between David Mitchell and Lee Mack in Would I Lie To You
@@tomparry9829 Alan & Stephen's connection was Amazing, they way the flowed together, but also like the cheeky Kid & the Headmaster with a sense of humour 🥰
plus I am really liking Sandy as she has that similar Headmistress Quality but in her own way & not trying to be another Stephen
I love Sandi as host- not more than Stephen, just in a different way (oo-er!)- I love the way Alan's particular brand of childishly absurd pythonesque humour can make her genuinely crack up (like in the bum-biting beetle/5-headed caterpiller bit or his Julie Andrews impression) makes for fantastic tv.
@@peterclarke7240 I agree. Sandi is just as good Stephen hosting QI but different. The show is equally enjoyable with either host in my opinion. Alan is very good and has a great sense of humour but sometimes he can get a bit irritating. The 5 headed catapiller rant and the Julie Andrews impersonation were epic comic gold. He is quite smart as he can answer some of questions being asked. QI is a very well thought out show. I love it.
5:03 cleanest lesbian joke I have ever heard.
But absolutely brilliant!!! Had to pause the show to stop laughing...
Without a moment’s hesitation, what an absolutely beautiful delivery
See what you did there ;)
I must trust your word since I can only get "... twice a week".
@@19Edurne "i have a woman in twice a week"
That Schofield joke hasn’t aged well 😂
On the contrary, I think it's aged incredibly well given the revelations about PS! LOL
"Your own body is a wonderful toy."
Put that on a t-shirt 😂😂
Matt Lucas on the sausage swiper... exquisite comedy timing
Sandi’s “I have a woman I’m twice a week” is absolute gold
You have to do "Part 2". There are so many excellent innuendos missing from this.
Especially when Julian Clary is on!
I really do wish it were longer, imagine how good that would be
@@thomasnolastname8734 no innuendo intended...
I love the one where Stephen is talking about the card game Find The Lady. Jimmy Carr says "I played that game in Thailand once and had a bad experience."
And Stephen replies "Did you feel a bit of a dick?" 😂
And with CC too
5:21 "I’m thinking of Neptune or Uranus. No, no, no, NO."
Yeah, I felt you on that one Stephen. 😅
Stephen plays such a serious host one can easily forget that he's actually a comedy writer / actor and that's how he began his career.
And a godless proof.
Yes, but he actually started in drama and was very serious about it all 😎
@@corriedebeer799 Many of us are dear. The last time I saw a vagina I was coming out of one. Never seen one up close since and never had the urge to look. And God's not welcome in my house unless he brings a bottle of wine and takes his shoes off. It might be a house of sin but we have standards.
@@adelucas4824 Jesus is welcome in your house though. He is great with the garden sheers. Your hedges have never looked better since Jesus of Mexico city came into your life..
and a fantastic one at that
That whole Philip Schofield bit has aged wonderfully
Think Stephen is a little too old for Philly schof 😜
@@nadolfc8008 And, vice versa 😂
@@nadolfc8008SF's husband is about 30 years younger than him.
Fry asking, "Now, are you ready for me to pump the custard?" kills me every time.
Stephen tries to avoid them, and gets so embarrassed when something he says sounds like one... and then at the end he goes all in with "ARE YOU READY FOR ME TO PUMP THE CUSTARD?"
8:55 Leads on to an absolutely brilliant piece of comedy timing from Matt Lucas.
It’s just like how he acts in Little Britain, stare, do action, get laughs.
Im in tears of laughter and snorted my drink out my nose when Stephen said 'Pump my custard' hes brilliant 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Phil Jupitus' super power is making Stephen Fry uncomfortable.
Luke Dodson he and Bill Bailey. When those 2 were on it was just a matter of time when they would bring Stephen down 😂😂😂
@@ilovemydog6847 Phil, Bill and Alan bounce off each other brilliantly, and when they (either as two or three) were in the mood, poor Stephen wouldn't stand a chance
When Sandi said "I have a woman in twice a week" I fell off of my chair. 🤣
3:31 Love how Fry realised what he was saying mid sentence😂😂😂
matt clocking in on "sausage swiper", perfectly serious LOL
Only Steven could say "She did have a stroke on the commode" and remain completely oblivious to the _double entendre_
He probably wasn't really
I love how Alan looks like he's having one hell of a good time while Jimmy looks disgusted in the intro
@2:34 "have you ever had your dirt hole burgled without your knowledge" i have just discovered my new chat up line XD
Odd question though, because if it was done without one's knowledge, how would one know?
@@lavrentivs9891 When one's dirthole has been burgled, there is always telltale evidence after the fact.
If it's with your knowledge, is it a burgle?
@@LynxSouth It might have been with your knowledge, but not with your permission.
@@lavrentivs9891 Somehow, I have the sense that, if you know about it, it's a robbery, not a burglary.
5:21 “no, no, no” Alan was thwarted and visibly so lol 😂🤣😂
Ross: “Philip Schofield’s hand up his bum”
Steven: “That takes me back a bit... no, I didn’t mean like *that*”
2020 and apparently QI predicted the future like the Simpsons
I can't even try to guess what does it mean
@@potmki6601 Steven meant how Phillip Schofield's first TV show (a children's TV show set in a broom cupboard) but the joke is that Steven and Phillip (recently) are both openly gay and of course unlike hetrosexual relationships, homosexual relationships are not based on preference it's just anyone else so Philip Schofield's hand might be up Steven's arse as we speak
@@jenna443 > and of course unlike hetrosexual relationships, homosexual relationships are not based on preference it's just anyone else
somehow it became less clear
@@potmki6601 sorry just a bit of a rant, just read until "unlike" 😂
@@jenna443 If you think that gay people don't have preferences on partners, you couldn't be more wrong. Most gay men I know are incredibly picky.
4:55 is comedic genius you never see
“The human body is a wonderful toy”
“And there’s always the back alley too”
-Stephen Fry
When it comes to double entendres you can count on Stephen to 'slip one in'.😁
Liza and Sandy high fiveing after the “Smart V-jay-J joke . It’s not quite priceless but very nearly and almost.
Ok, I'll say it for you......vagina........
Fry - "Now, Alan, have you ever had your dirthole burgled without your knowledge?"
Alan - "Well if I don't know, how would I know?"
QI, respectable high intelligent show, with the worst innuendos of all time. Who didn't love Stephen being so blushy!
"High intelligent"! XD
Oh, you're beastly and I hate you...!
QI: high intelligence, low brow humor.
@@sirandrelefaedelinoge I know, I just realised and I am.....just sorry
Phil's flirting is the best thing
stephen fry’s ability for inadvertent innuendo is truly astounding
The title should have been "fry pumps his custard in front of a crowd."
Stephen is just a natural at innuendos. He doesn't even know he's doing it!
yes he does.
@@lkytdsvc yep 5:51 'back alley too' a good example of deliberate innuendo.
"Tossed through a hatch strapped to a red devil" sounds like an adventure
That's the first time I've heard JImmy Carr laugh that hard (08:23), it had me in tears!
Surely there's been more than 10 minutes of innuendo in QI, unless this is the start of a 1000-part series.
Rodney Dangerfield once said that his family was so poor when he was growing up that if he hadn't been born a boy he'd've had nothing to play with.
@Walt F., I once lived with a lady in Edmonton, Canada who told me that she'd worked legally as a prostitute in Las Vegas and Rodney Dangerfield was one of her clients. She also told me that he wore the most disgustingly filthy underpants that she'd ever seen and that he was one of the main reasons that she got out of that profession.
"Camera attached to my helmet" and "have you ever had your dirt hole burgled without your knowledge?" I nearly died laughing.
WE. NEED. MORE. OF. THIS.
that's what she said
@@20shourya
"There's just too many double entendres!..."
-Phil Jupitus
With no music.
5:38 I love how well this outfit suits Bill Bailey.
the pumping custard ironically, a bit of an anticlimax
"Are you ready for me to pump the custard"..... suitable for so many conversations lol
Came back to watch this because I had Alan's "swoltery quatch" joke stuck in my head, causing me to bite back the giggles.
I tossed two heads at the same time...
Oh Stephen I bet you did😂
"It's gonna rise, I promise you", I, plus the audience, clap 👏
That Phil Schofield joke has been given a new lease of life
Only beaver he's had his hand up for years.
Stephen Fry is such a delight!
_Welcome to QI, where just _*_pressing the buzzer_*_ can automatically land you in an awkward position!_ 😆
I liked when stephen was explaining about how custard is sometimes a solid. Said things like " if you slip your finger in.." and "if you slap it hard" nothing he could say sounded right 😄
Don't forget "the finger slips in smoothly"!
Was Stephen livid? He was f- dis custard! Oh, with a hand pump?
I am so glad that everybody on QI is grown-up.
I'd love to hear the full story of how Bear Grylls edged Stephen for 45 minutes.
2:08 Nobody delivers a double entendre quite like Julian Clary! 😂
"I do like something warm inside me of a morning" , classic Clary. That phrase has stuck with me for years.
4:19 never thought about it before but over the past year that has extra comedy now
It took me a second to click but it had me laughing
Freeze frame at 5:46. Half the secret at least of Alan Davies' success: His friendly, smiling agreeable face and disposition. That's a nice portrait.
I've got the biggest smile on my face now
4:19 well, the Scofield reference has aged 😂
This just makes me want to go back and watch all episodes again - & so I shall 🎞️🍿📺
"One, if you play your cards right." Bwahahaha What a Line!
"And there's always the back alley too"
The look on Ross Noble's face... He's disgusted!!
Just love Stephen's Frydian Slips
With that topic, this clip could easily have been a _lot_ longer than just 10 minutes
What, I don't understand, what are you doing?
No no, I misunderstood. I misunderstood.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Seriously, what is more funny than innuendo? Brilliant!
The Schofield joke, fuck my life 😂
“There’s just too many dooble entendres; you pumping custard!” Stop it; are you ready for me to pump the custard?!” “OH MY GOD!” "...WAITING FOR YOU TO PUMP YOUR CUSTARD!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I really love the face Stephen Fry makes at 4:45
'She did have a stroke on the commode' 👏👏
My type of humour. Brilliant 😂😂😂😂
"QI" takes me to the edge.
that's what she said
@@20shourya She did. Your mum's a keeper.
a wicket keeper unlike yours
‘QI’ always engorges my head.
As Alan would say
Is that a euphemism?
I love that the audience is so conditioned by Julian’s lines in panto that they can’t take anything he says without hearing innuendo
To be fair, a lot of what Julian says *is* deliberate innuendo.
4:50 is iconic. i love her so much
0:14 Sandi was trying so hard to not let Jimmy derail the topic xD
If I said i haven't said 'ARE YOU READY FOR ME TO PUMP THE CUSTARD.' i'd be lying... best moment of QI after the 'In england we live in houses.'
Still my favourite compilation video!
4:40 onwards, Stephens Eyeroll, a rare sight as often as Alan tries to inspire one from him.
I have yet to see a thing more endearing than an embarrassed, blushing Stephen Fry.
I love these compilations, but I must say, I find the background music a bit annoying and distracting. Couldn't you do it without that?
Yep, and quit ending the video like this one, before the custard explosion..........which I found else where.
Like others have said, quit the fair ground muzak too.
The word annoying is SO overused by people who have no vocabulary skills....
@@sirandrelefaedelinoge How about shitty, crap, irritating, boring, useless, stupid for some alternatives?
@@sirandrelefaedelinoge how many languages do you speak?
Complains about free content. lol.
Never set foot in Iceland ❤❤❤😂😂😂Thank you 4the laughter
The background music was unnecessary and annoying
What background music?!
No kiddin. Fucking annoying
@@annother3350 are you terminally stupid?
It was my idea to put the music in. I told the uploader it would be necessary and pleasing.
@@CooterCoy well you got that wrong, dummy
I love Julian Clary, his innuendos are second to none.
Come on, show us the result of Stephen pumping his custard!
omg, the Philip Schofield comment just made me lol.
Philip Schofield joke is rather pertinent at the time of me making this comment.🤪😉🤣
My rude bits are my best bits.
that's what she said
New Message Mine are singularly unspectacular...........apparently.
I bet they are
having a stroke on the commode can lead to a right sticky mess
Even 2:08 was an incredible innuendo too, although they really only focused on the next part.
"I've got a 9 inch tongue, and I can breath through my ears"
I.. already commented this, 7 months ago xD
Well, the Philip Schofield joke didn't age well lol
comments: the music is distracting
fry: no. behave.
Stephen's face at 4:44 gives me life.