Something I’ve learned: Be willing to let go of everything that you thought was you. The things that are you will come back, the things that aren’t, won’t. Both will hurt.
@Vollkoman Discomfort is something that bothers you a little bit. Pain is something that hurts you a lot. Both are necessary for growth. Don't seek or pursue any of them dude. However, if you seek the path to self growth itself, trying to better yourself, you will come across those eventually
@@justyouraveragehumanbeing7411" don't seek or pursue any of them " honestly glad you added this part ❗️❗️ you do ENCOUNTER pain while growing but that doesn't mean you have to go out of your way and force yourself to go through pain thinking it'll magically make you better when it might be the opposite
You lose who you used to be. But with wisdom, you realize that you're always losing who you used to be regardless, so light as well make it productive and grow
I understand friend, life can be very hard on some of us. I hope you find strength to keep trying, even in the worse of days, and I wish all the best to you, wherever you may be. Big hug.
The duality of man: when the previous two comments revolve around lifting your fellow human up or tearing them down by belittling their concern. Quite shameful how so many people have forgotten the human part of being human.
2024. Was very dark. 2023, and to that year, it’s been bad. Not only did quarantine affect me terribly, I’ve had manipulative, harmful relationships. If you pursue your dreams and hobbies, and workout, it’ll be worth the time :)
@ Depends on the person. But me personally, being isolated for so long impacted me a lot then. It wasn’t that bad at times, but I did feel like I missed out on a lot in my life. It changed me. And now I’m used to isolation. I still go out sometimes, but I’m a big loner now. I’m unsure if anyone likes me or not.
I lost my mom last year. The only way i can be closer to her is being more like her. But i dont know how to be kind, i hate people, i have an abrasive personality and i despise small talk. My mom was a social butterfly and everyone loved her. No one likes me, ive been a horrible lying shitty human for so many years... Ive told the truth to those i lied and lost all of them, and i still feel so far from whatever it is im trying to do... I hate who i am, but i have to be better because she believed in me, and i have to prove to myself that i am the person she loved and supported. I have to be better.
Unfortunately this society essentially turns us all into liars. It's normalized behaviour that we have to strive REALLY fucking hard to fight against. Even the most insignificant shit will be lied about and nobody cares, nobody calls anybody out for it and it just continues on that track. Because I'm pretty sure we all know deep down that this entire society is gravely flawed, and rather than accept that and try to change it, we legitimize our behaviour and try to excuse it. You're not alone man. I'm an abrasive asshole, essentially a Nihilist. I view humanity as inherently flawed and unwilling to improve, so I tend to see it as a failed experiment that needs to end for the good of nature. But there are good people out there, it's just really hard to find them. And whether I see no reason to be positive in this negative world, the only way to see more positivity is to be more positive. It'll likely mean nothing to nobody, but you've got to do these things for yourself and not other people. But then of course you think "well they likely are a shit person who doesn't deserve anything good being done for them" and get right back to square one. And that's the vicious cycle I'm constantly living. Wanting to be a good person for others, while not seeing the value in it, knowing most people are garbage and cause far more bad than good in their daily lives. Including my own family. I actually lost my mom when I was five too, so I didn't get to have that motherly influence at all growing up, replaced by a manipulative cunt who made my life a living hell. Unlearning all of that has been an insane undertaking, especially since I've had to do this learning almost exclusively solo. Sorry you had to lose your mom recently, I can't imagine how hard it must be. Whether you think you're shitty or not, you can always work towards being better in your own estimation of "better". And every tiny thing you can do in the journey is an improvement. Never see the little things as insignificant, because every tiny step towards that improvement, is one step away from succumbing to the shit most people allow themselves to ruminate in.
Be like you. Even if you appreciate how your mom was. There's some people who are very outgoing, and that's what's working for them. Other people are not that social. They're more reserved. They are not the center of attention. Maybe what's really important is what we... actually want.. everybody wants to be accepted and loved by others, right? But i think we just need to be ourselves. And the right people that resonate with us will stick. Being ourselves also mean being a good quality person. So find out how you'd like to be, for you to like yourself. I think when you like the way you are, then the right people who appreciate those qualities in you, as you do, will stick as well. There's a lot to this i think. Also don't always say you got to be better, to better, etc. It means you're not enough. You're telling this to yourself by the way you talk with yourself. Instead, you know how there's hat saying with "the journey of 1000 steps starts with one step?" When you take that step, you don't really see that you moved, that you're closer to your goal. But if you pay attention to the small changes that you make, the fact that you do something different to be that kind of person that you'd like to be, then you begin to change how you feel about yourself. So instead of saying "i need to be better" which means to yourself "i am not enough", look at what small changes you do, and the fact that you try. You also need to be doing those small changes right? And it feels so hard. And the reason for that is that you are used to live like you are right now. Start just thinking about being who you want to be. First imagine who you'd like to be, because i bet we don't think about this every day - or if we do - why do you have to be more like someone else to be liked and accepted? You want to be you. Unique - and be accepted for the quality that you have grown to be in yourself. And as you imagine - remember this: you give instructions to your brain. You tell your brain what's the target. Instead of the target being "not being good enough" because of telling it "i gotta be better" It will simply be: "this kind of person". "Who talks like this, who feels like this, who does things in an amazing way because he found THE WAY for himself." etc. Start with imagining who you want to be, and what's important to you. That's the map. Before you set out to sail. See where you could go and what you'd like, so you know what little steps to do. Lotta talk. take care!
It’s a lot of pain In this world but it’s for a reason, even if we don’t want to hear it. After the storm there’s a rainbow, after the lowest lows come the highest highs. You watching this video already shows your improvement, I’ve done lots of shitty things in my life to myself and the people I love the most. I hated that version of myself and I didn’t want to be that person anymore so like the guy in the comment below me said it’s one step at a time and be happy with the littlest of progress because that in itself is really powerful. Won’t type your head off lol, you seem like a good person just based off of how you beat yourself up, you care a lot and that’s what makes you beautiful and cool to be around and if people don’t see that, that’s they’re loss straight up!!💯💜
I think the fact that you've written this down, acknowledged it and are taking steps towards self love and improvement is a clear and monumental display of growth. It's okay to acknowledge how you may not be proud of certain behaviours, but also acknowledge your commitment to yourself. A helpful mindset to adapt is to live as though you arrived here only now. You have no past to cling to, only what is happening now in this moment. That's where peace is.
Sometimes it takes a loss to grow. My dad died less than two months ago. He was constantly controlling me and infantilizing me and breaking my boundaries and causing anxiety in me even when he was an old man. He needed to go. I need to grow
That's the real kicker with traumatic upbringings, you don't realize how bad it is until you're older and learn just how wrong they did you. My mother died almost 2 years ago and that sense of safety was the real catalyst for change. We're taught to be helpless, to think we can't succeed, but it was a projection from the start. We have to be more than what got us here
It's so validating to see I'm not the only one who feels this way... I felt like I'm just blowing things out of proportion. But that's exactly how I feel with my family members. It's just never enough for them, you know? They always want to take and take. Now, I've abandoned my goals and dreams for them because they demanded I give all my time and attention for them, but expect me to still go after my goals and dreams that just make me so incredibly hopeless and helpless at this point. It's so dehumanizing. To think that I worked so hard on myself for years... Only for it to end up like this. I don't know what words would be sufficient enough to describe this loss.
@@BeanSprouts02 You're still alive, so you can still change things for the better for yourself. You don't need their permission or their approval to do what you need to do for yourself. If they don't get you, that's their problem, not yours. It's gonna suck. It always sucks. But the growth is worth it.
Last year was one of the most difficult years in a long while. Actually the last 4 years started a process of change that pretty much turned my life upside down, family, friends, home, habits, work - everything changed way too rapidly for me. I realized a while ago I always hated change, I cried as a kid when we replaced the old living room couch with a new one, I hated to watch old pictures from the past. Only during the last years I realized that change was the thing I feared the most in my life and that what I was running from all the time while also accepting more and more that it’s just a natural part of life. With all the good and bad attached to it. With all the change in my life I felt I rapidly was growing into a more authentic me, understanding more who I was and who I want to be, at the same time this process was so disruptive… that I wasn’t sure if everything goes downhill and I am losing everything that defined me or if I am just outgrowning my old perception of who I am and what my life is about. Your video sums up my thoughts and feelings during the last years so so well - thank you so much for sharing! I feel a little more confident that im on the right track and it feels good that feeling uncomfortable and lost while growing is a thing I share with others. I am really glad I stumbled upon this video, wish you all the best for the coming year.
I think it's a sign - the fact that I'm suddenly being recommended these videos. 2025 will be a new year for myself. I've lost so much in 2024, much like others in this comment section. I hope everyone who is dealing with the pain of existence finds the drive to move on to the next day, step after step. My heart hurts typing this, but I'll continue to move forward in life. I hope whoever reads this does as well.
I bottled up emotions for so long that when i couldn't handle them anymore i just broke down and started crying, it was actually very liberating i was actually able to see the things that i didn't have to carry with me, and it gave me a chance to forgive myself and others, as well as letting them go. Forgive and leave, not because they deserve it, but because you deserve peace.
2:37 I really needed to hear that, I've been losing friendships left and right and someone who was very close to me just died, not in physically but in the way of slowly drifting apart. It has really hurt to slowly outgrow them, we've been going in separate directions for the past year and a half, and it definitely hurts. I honestly loved them and they helped me through my darkest times and showed me a way through when I didn't think there was one. I would love to see them again but if I never do thank you for what you did for me, I never told you how much you meant to me and that's truly my fault.
This is just what I needed to hear today. My dad is still with us but I empathise a lot with the process of changing the relationship. I’ve put off seeing myself as my own person for a long time, and this year it made me ill. I’ve shaken off the illness, but I realise I have to radically change my own relationship with my dad. I’m sure it’ll be a different process because he’s still with us, but I just wanted you to know that what you’ve been through gives me hope that at the end of all this pain and uncertainty will be a truer version of me. Thanks bro
Took me 49 seconds. 49 to click on the notification after the vid was dropped, the remaining 9 minutes were spent watching it entirely. Thanks for this open and heartfelt message ! I hope you’re feeling better !
I really needed this. I felt like I lost a part of myself last year. Like I was changing into something else...worse. All I did was realize what I needed to do to grow. For a long time I held onto the grief and guilt from my grandfather, and someone I saw as family, dying. All I could think of was how I could have done better for them. My grandfather was like a father figure to me and my brother. I did not feel deserving of forgiveness, but eventually I let go. I may have let go of those heavy feelings but that doesn't mean I did not care or do not have a connection with them anymore. Letting go of all the pain I've had in the past has let me focus more on the present and realize what I need to do to grow, the motivation, the desire to grow. I may not be apparently different outside but inside I am different now than I was a year ago. The future may not be ideal, it may not be what I envisioned in my childhood, in high school, college, adulthood, but I know that I can make a future I can be happy with myself for who I become.
The greatest of growth is the ability to accept the worst of changes. Life might take a leg, hit you with chronic illness, or send you to war and there is nothing we can do to avoid its sting. Embrace the pain of life is to be free within your new limited body.
To grow we must endure the pain. And as you said: Growth is hard but is also really beautiful! What a wonderful video to start 2025 brother, thanks a lot! Cheers from Brazil!
For nearly six years, my mind has been battered, trapped in this place that feels more like a prison than a home. Every day has been a fight against the weight of despair, a struggle to hold onto even the smallest shred of hope. I’m exhausted, but my desire to escape burns brighter than ever. I crave freedom, not just from this place but from the chains it’s wrapped around my heart and soul. All I want is a chance to rebuild, to stand on my own two feet, and to create a life where peace isn’t just a fleeting dream but something I can finally hold onto. I’m fighting with everything I have left, desperate to reclaim a sense of self and a future I can believe in.
Did you think you would have made it this far? How far do you think you will go now? Will it be like the last time you underestimated yourself? I'm sorry to say, but you're stronger than you think. I'm sorry because I've had to be strong too, not for a better life, but because I'm in pain I can reduce. This feels tragic to write. We've lived thus far, still more war to go! Ugh
I'm glad I stumbled upon this video. I struggled with a lot this past year, but I've grown a lot and I hope that I can be a blessing for others and use what I've learned to continue growing this upcoming year.
Found out recently that I have C-PTSD and been working tremendously hard on it. I feel like I'm finally starting to grow up from all my childhood traumas and holy fuck does it hurt. Especially since I'm at an age where people around me have careers and families and I'm going back to school to pursue my passion. I've never felt better yet so vulnerable and in pain. This journey's going to be long and arduous, but I know, for the first time in my life, that I'm on the right path and happy that I finally know where to go.
great video as usual, thank you for this reminder. my gut reaction to the title was that no, growth doesn’t feel like loss really, but that’s only because i’m sitting here in the fun part of a year-long growth arc in the beginning of this year it was definitely painful. i had the same experience as you, going to therapy and feeling like i was making little progress. making steps toward my goals but feeling like any meaningful change was so far away it wasn’t even worth doing then in the summer all this effort i had been putting in converged and started a snowball that has become huge now that it is the end of the year. i got what i was looking for and was already happy about that, but your video made me appreciate it even more because i haven’t reflected on what it took to get here in a while one of the biggest lessons i’ve learned this year is that growth isn’t linear. often we have to work at something without seeing much of anything for a time before any sort of breakthrough happens
Super agree with this take. I've been experiencing a lot of this this year as well - pretty much all of 2024 for me was discomfort and transformation. In a way where I wasn't saying "why didn't I do this sooner" but rather "oh I absolutely get why I didn't do this sooner, this sucks". Happy to say I got to the end of 2024 and without even realising I was had gotten to a good place, but I had. Really sorry to hear about your Dad but the way you're talking about yourself now I have to imagine he'd be so proud of you for the work you've done. Really lovely video. Thanks for sharing.
Self Identity has always been the biggest struggle in my life. I used to think of others when thinking of me, instead of seeing who I am, for who I am. It's been a tough journey to Accept that.
Pain is part of change. But change is a natural part of who we are. You can turn away from it, bottle it up, put it in the back of your mind or run away... but the only thing that makes it better, really, is finding the courage to acknowledge it and say "yeah, that's part of me too." Feeling pain isn't weakness or shameful at all. It's a necessary part of becoming a stronger "you".
The storytelling in this video is on another level! You seamlessly connect your personal experiences with a universal message that truly resonates. It's incredible how you turn introspection into inspiration for all of us. Thank you for sharing such raw and relatable insights!
2024 was so painful for me, but that pain led me to grow and mature: even though it was a painful year, it was one of the best years of my life, because through it, I finally got to grow and change into someone that one day, I could be proud of.
I’ve learned that sometimes pain brings forth a form of you that you haven’t forgiven. I’m not sure where I heard that quote, but it’s stuck with me for the longest time.
This was a great video I feel like this came up on my feed on purpose. Last year was so hard for me and I keep getting into relationships that are one sided and not good for me. I'm finally finding it easier to cut things out of my life and finally do the things I want and become who I am supposed to be. I'm starting my indie vtuber career and I'm learning how to make video games so I for once in my life, can seek joy in doing the things I want to do instead of just surviving my life.
Reflecting on life in phendrana drifts is literally why I’m sad as a grown man. I was like twelve chilling there and I was like yo I’m gonna die one day.
Because it is. Love has died and life has lost it's meaning. We always wait for something til we have no time remaining. I'm getting tired of waiting, so I'm probably have to put an end eventualy. Like most have already have.
I don't think love is gone. It's hidden, and dangerous to show. I have faith the hard times to come will bring out the human in people, good and bad. Better than inhuman good and bad
Great message here. I have reinvented myself several times now; sometimes for the better, other times I've missed the mark. I have gone from doing financially well to being nearly destitute a handful of times, but each experience molds, shapes, and teaches. It's hard to experience contentment or what I personally define as "happiness" without experiencing extreme discomfort as a precursor. Get up. Reflect. Try again with new knowledge. Repeat. Never stop improving, one little win at a time. Best of luck, man.
This is art! The way you share your personal struggles while making it a lesson for all of us is pure genius. You have a way of making growth feel like a shared journey, and that’s what makes this so special. Keep inspiring us!
I adore how honest and open and genuine you are, it feels like you're like a big brother teaching me how I myself can get through growth and become better. I'm not in the best spot so I'm really thankful for this video man, you give me hope.
Your words hit home brother. You were able to express thoughts and emotions that I couldn’t or didn’t even know I had. I lost my mom in August. Im trying to navigate life without her. I plan on keeping her memory alive by continuing the love and kindness I saw her give. I’m going through a heart wrenching job change. I’m leaving my friends and a comfortable environment behind for a better future. As much as endings hurt, they give us the chance at beautiful new beginnings ❤❤
Growth is pain. Just like when we all experienced the soreness and pain of our bones extending and muscles developing during puberty true growth is always accompanied by the pain of change. Take life at your pace, but never stop seeking the growth you can achieve for your life. Don't be afraid of the pain, embrace it.
Stumbled upon this video at a time when I feel like im at a crossroads… you describe the experience of growth perfectly; there are those days where all you can see is the pain of cutting yourself from bad habits and even going back to them from time to time because it’s what’s familiar but there are those short but powerful moments of reflection where you also realize “damn this used to be so hard and now it’s relatively easy.” I think what’s hardest about the process of growth is we can tend to focus on a particular part of ourselves we’ve struggled with the most and obviously that’s going to take the most time to improve and so we become oblivious to all the other ways we grow as we work hard on that one key thing that’s so important to us. Anyways thanks for the video you may have recalibrated my compass there buddy!
I just want to say good luck to everyone here. We’re all going through it in someway. I hope we all have friends or family we can lean on. This video is exactly what I needed
This video encapsulates everything I’ve been thinking and going through for the past year. Change is hard and scary, going into your 20’s it’s like your whole life gets flipped on its head cause it’s nothing you actually expected. You’re forced to grow up in ways you never imagined and mentally mature in ways that take a long time to develop. I loved the roots analogy, sometimes you do need to evaluate yourself and determine what will be the best for you to grow. Always remember who you want to be and why, you’ll get there one day no matter the situation as long as you continue to do what’s best for YOU. Thank you for the video
Dude, your describing EXACTLY what I'm going through right now. My whole world was totally shattered, and now I'm having to painfully rebuild, but now with the opportunity to change and let go of parts that don't serve me anymore. Its been an absolutely wild ass ride so far, but I think the worst has passed, and now it isn't necessarily pain that lies ahead, but just hard work and dedication so I don't get too comfortable again. Change can really only happen out of discomfort I've come to find. Best of luck to everyone else on their journeys too! This shit ain't easy, but if you want it, you can learn to care about yourself and begin making some amazingly impactful changes in your life, however small they may innitally seem. Love you all!
Thank you for this video. I also went through a lot of change in my life in 2024. When I was thinking back on the last year I was wondering why I kept thinking 2024 was a bad year for me even though I went through so much personal change and finally stopped feeling depressed. This video helped me realize why. I did go through a lot of pain in 2024, but came out a lot happier and healthier. So even though it may not feel like a good year it actually was a good year. Thank you again. I also wanted to say I lost my father recently to, Thanksgiving Day back in 2022 and it wasn't easy since his demise wasn't the best way to go. It took a lot of time, but eventually I was able to deal with it properly and accept the course of my life that would never have happened without my parents. I wish you and everyone else that reads this nothing but bliss, happiness, and a smooth journey of personal growth and self-discovery for the rest of our days on Earth.
Beautiful video, dude. Been going through change intentionally for the last 3 years. This made me once again realize how far I've come. And also how I once upon a time wished to be my dad... But I'm branching out now. Building my own bridges. The way he lives life, just isn't my style. Even if I look up to him a lot. Let's keep going, all. We can go the distance if we do so with patience and effort. If it rains, we can find a safe place to rest a while. No need to rush.
Such a fire video man. I’m also a junior and started tearing up the moment you spoke about your father. I hope you’re doing okay in life. Your father will always be proud of you, like we all are.
I'm so happy this video appeared in my feed. Recently I've been picking up new habits and they feel good, but somehow they also made me feel sad and empty and I didn't understand it. I would spend a little time on old habits and they would make me feel happy and comfortable!...but then it would only take it a short time for me to feel no joy from those old habits. It was so strange and I was so confused. The whole thing was disheartening. But then your video literally just appeared in my feed a few minutes ago and it has helped me so so much. Everything clicks and makes sense. Thank you, thank you so much.
Rise and grind, but the grind hurts but without pain there can be no growth and without growth there can be change and without change there can be no joy To all… stay strong, stay true, you got this
clicked on this to compare with how i felt i had grown past a long nasty relationship finally. i had no clue i still had a little work left to do w some bad habits that still hold me back from attaining my goals. i thought they were just to hard or far out of reach but thank you for reminding me what power and control i have over this.
Yeah... This is part of growth is usually swept under the rug by like, damn near all of the self-help people. Growth... doesn't feel good. And that's the point. You're putting yourself through uncomfortable situations to learn how to be better and patch up your flaws. But i wish i knew this when i just started my journey of improvement at 15... So much hate and self-loathing could have been avoided. I can't change what happened back then, but i can always carry on the experience and what it taught me. So i thank you, for mentioning this overlooked part of this very important process. Thank you for preparing people who just started out, or are going strong, but haven't realized this yet. You help prepare others for the pain and take it better
Thank you sincerely for these insights. I'm in that stage where I doubt past decisions to change things more and more and have to keep reminding myself that even though it may feel like a massive mistake to have left what has defined my life for almost the last decade, it was necessary for myself to become who I'm meant to be. It a hard process and the doubt will probably linger for quite a while longer but hearing your thoughts has made it easier for now.
Man thank you so much for this video. I resonated with 100% of it and it helped put to words what the last two years has been for me. Thank you for being vulnerable and generous with your experiences. I believe it’s healing and encouraging many, like myself.
Hey man, I am sorry for your loss... But from listening to you speak, I can easily tell you will become a great Junior and make your family proud. I think you have a valid point in every sentence spoken in this video. I would take it a step further and say: No relationships are meant to stay forever, or at least not in the same form. Let's just appreciate them how we can while we can, and later try to learn something from them. Stay safe and take care! 💪
I needed to hear this & that plant metaphor was beautiful. Keep growing & believe that at the right time, you will attract better things that align with your life. Thank you.
To articulate those thoughts and experiences and turning it into growth, it's the result of facing your deepest pains and fears, I don't know you, but I think you have become more courageous because of it. I'm glad you posted this video, I feel like, it mirrors my own struggle with C-PTSD, outgrowing it has challenged me like nothing and it has been painfully slow, but because I chose to heal and never quit, I have become who I chose to become. Thanks to your video, I have been able to articulate how trauma made me grow, thank you for your insights
I am glad to find you, I feel like you just give me acknowledgement for my journey to life the last few years. Letting go is my vision of this year. After learning about mental heath and trying so hard to change, letting go is the only thing that really matters right now. Building on things that don't work will not work. I have seen all your video's and just want you to know that your action of starting to record in your car and upload a video has such a great effect on others like me. Thank you for your wise words. You have a great voice that really speaks to me. Have great day my man and a happy new year! Greetings from Belgium.
Thank you for your insight. This video has helped me already grow and be more confident in the future. There’s so much nuance in learning and growing it’s hard to feel “right.”Truly grateful for your inspiring and eye opening ideas.
I actually came to a similar realization recently that I wrote some lyrics on. I realized that I kind of had this image of who my friends were in my head, and just kept that false impression of them for a good while despite them changing as people. As I then started getting closer to them over the past few months, it hit me that they weren’t quite the people I thought they were. While it hurt to contend with that, I think it’s allowing for more authenticity in my relationships now that I am trying not to force people into molds, and it has even allowed me to reflect on myself some with how authentic I am really being. I definitely get where you are coming from.
Man just found your channel and deam it put me back to reality was so lose in thought your channel really helping me see some aspects in live and remember my younger self really appreciate the content hope you keep it up
I’ve lost more people in the past year than ever before in my life, whether it be because they changed or passed away, On top of being sick through much too large a portion of the year so I couldn’t workout to get rid of the pain, I know I’ve grown, I know who I have to be to help others, I cannot let all this crap keep me down, thanks for this video brother.
Thank you for this. This is the first video I've seen of yours. I don't know if this was challenging for you to share or not but I really really needed this. Thank you.
Wasn't looking for this video, but got it recommended to me. And yes did i need this video, been feeling down lately and this made me feel it's okay i am growing as we speak. Thank you for the video, i gave it a like. And my condolences for your father ❤.
Thanks for this video man... I think a big part of why I'm finding it hard to change is because I feel I'd be losing my identity and becoming a completely different person, but your video really helped me see another perspective to it. (sorry for my poor english)
This video came to me while going through a painful process. A breakup with a girl I still love, and from what I feel she still loves me. But it's complicated, and as I began to grow I realized the relationship wasn't working for either of us. So I deeply resonate with what you said. I don't want to feel this way, but I realize the quicker I accept it the easier the process. It'll still be painful, but the wave of emotions will be more manageable if I take it in stride instead of fighting it. I've already experienced the latter, and it took three grueling years. Pain also teaches you it's best to do better each time. The realization is what you said-in order for me to keep growing I had to remove some things that weren't working for me. Even if it meant losing someone I love deeply. There are crappy days and there are miserable days. In between there are lapses, moments in which you forget for a moment. Those feel nice. And that's what I want to cling onto without rejecting the pain, because I know the pain holds a powerful lesson. If I don't deal with it now it'll resurface as some habit or emotional wound that affects my future. I don't want that. Part of growing is not putting off what's painful because it's painful. It's going head on and accepting there's a necessary price to pay for the lesson life is going to teach you. One day you'll be able to look back and be thankful you went through this very time. A trying time which forged you into a stronger you, more resilient you. Keep strong, brothers.
Last year was all about healing for me since the year started with a heartbreak. But that heartbreak allowed me to really tap in to myself and figure out who i was, who i am and who i want to be. Now a year later I´m grateful for that heartbreak because i was lost, and i was living through her not with her. This year I´m focusing on self growth and slowly becoming the person i feel like I´m meant to be. Also I´m very sorry to hear about your dad, i cant imagine the pain. One of my "goals" this year is to spend more time with my family. I really enjoy spending time with my dad, I´m always happy around him and i really cherish the moments i have with him.
last year, I felt I made no growth as it wasn't as painful as the year before it. Almost as if I had stopped growing. Watching this video reminded me of the few things, some decisions and shared feelings with you. Change will bring some more loss, but it's ok. I just need to keep my head down, feelings grounded and move forward.
wow beautiful format you have here with the gentle music and nostalgic gameplay. I like the caption style too. let me soak in this message but happy the algorithm brought me here!
This was so beautiful and I just stumbled on this video accidentally. Maybe this was meant for me because I’ve been through divorce, losing touch with my brother, losing middle school friends, and even recently getting scammed $6,000. It has lead to a lot of self resentment but I am trying to do a lot to change or better my situation. Like trying to find new friends and a new part time job along with keeping my current job is all uncomfortable but like you said, pain is part of the process of growing. I have to be patient because it will take time to make new friends and raise up that money I’ve lost. Thanks for your video. I just wanted to let you know that it really helped and resonated with me.
Good video. Not sure if I agree with the outgrowing part. Personal growth shouldn't be reflected in other people. The other people in our lives are not there to help us and then be discarded. Sure, not every relationship will last forever and it's okay to part ways with your partner if they don't have the same life and relationship goals for the future, it's okay to stop being friends with someone if you think or realize they're not a good person. But conversations feeling empty and things like that can be solved with communication. Sometimes those things may even be a sign that you need to take care of your own mental health, you know? Sometimes it's the place and the situation we're in and... Sometimes it's our own heads. You can keep growing, always, all the time. And still, you can be with the people around you that you love and that loves you. And you can keep putting in work in that relation so it grows too. And help them grow too as people. People are not there just to be used by us as stepping stones.
while i see what you’re saying, i think what doozy is pointing out here is valid the summer after high school, i got a full time internship while the rest of my friend group used the weekdays to hang out neither of these things are bad, but whenever i got a chance to spend time with them it was dominated by stories and inside jokes from things i’d had to miss because of work. by the end of the summer i realized i had become an outsider, the things that were tethering me to the group had mostly disappeared i could’ve continued to try to force those friendships, but i was going off to college for four years which i was sure would create an even bigger divide. in hindsight, i’m glad i let go and freed up my energy for pursuing incredible friendships in college instead of trying to preserve a high school dynamic that no longer existed
Yeah you’re right, really valuable additional thoughts. I think you can also have relationships with old friends even if you don’t have so much in common anymore. I still have a few friends from elementary school and we outgrow each other for sure, we don’t have much in common anymore. However we still help each other out when someone needs help and we occasionally meet up to something we all still enjoy, like watching a movie or just drink some and talk. Maybe it’s not a deep friendship anymore, maybe it’s not intimate as it was, but we all do respect each other and the time we shared I guess.
I relate so much to this. I play fighting competitively and my road to improvement were probably the worst in terms of mental health. I'm still growing and I can see I've come very far but sometimes I wonder if it was worth it because of the pain I got for trying
We have to all remember: "The pain is temporary but gains are eternal" These words were playing in my head through the video. The plant comparison was perfectly describe you have to leave something behind to grow something new. Like getting out old books out of the shelf to get new ones.
To grow you must lose the way you currently do things. To grow requires change and adapting to one’s situation, you inherently lose what you once were in favor of something that serves you better.
well said. whenever we think things are “falling apart” they’re actually coming together. it helps to look at the bigger picture as life only makes sense when looking back; this is why i prefer to live in my timeline, do my own thing, and enjoy the process, as everything works out in its unique personal timing. we’re always learning and growing too, but we have to have self awareness so we can reflect and continue being a kind hearted person to ourselves as that good energy is projected onto the world. reality itself is already a mirror, it’s good to focus on the energy that aligns with you the most. when you focus on your well-being, knowing that we’re all expressions of the same universal source, you start to see everything come together over time. let go of everything you thought was you and embrace your aligned self
I start therapy in 5 days, I’ve been waiting 15 years for it. I also have someone in my life that really cares for me, but I’ve outgrown them and don’t see a future that I want with them, whilst all they seem to want is me and they have no desire to prepare for the future and never have. I needed to hear all of this, thank you. I’m so sorry about your father, but from the sounds of it he’d be proud of the man you became x
Its true. Even in gaming when youre getting better youre going to think youre getting worse for a while before you break the plateau and you then cook on ranked. Real life is the same way. Pain and suffering and then you WIN!
Its funny 2024 was an amazing year for me because of my career landing a job I've wanted to do but it ended on caveats of personal relationships I've been having 2nd thoughts. Which is painful because I've such strong times and strong histories with them. I just do not know what to do with these emotions anymore not even my therapist is helping anymore. Your video I think helped give me an idea that I need to explore at my pace into 2025 so truly thank you! ❤
wow, what?? this is the first genuine, longer form content i've come across on yt in ages. thanks for sharing your thoughts man. you seem like the kind of person that has epic conversations over cold pizza or something dumb like that and it being a core memory. in an awesome way. i also think it's neat that you're making a difference where you can. this is cool. :)
Like an insect shedding its shell, we must rip out of our old carcass and crawl out into the world. And for a time, unprotected while waiting for our new skin to thicken enough to protect us from the battering of the world.
Something I’ve learned: Be willing to let go of everything that you thought was you.
The things that are you will come back, the things that aren’t, won’t. Both will hurt.
@@JohnnyBGoode-xn9mo What's the difference between pain and discomfort? Which one should I seek/pursue for self-growth?
@Vollkoman Discomfort is something that bothers you a little bit. Pain is something that hurts you a lot.
Both are necessary for growth. Don't seek or pursue any of them dude. However, if you seek the path to self growth itself, trying to better yourself, you will come across those eventually
It takes longer than people think too, I am 2 years in and still having to make progress, it's really a race to learn to be patient with yourself
@@justyouraveragehumanbeing7411" don't seek or pursue any of them " honestly glad you added this part ❗️❗️ you do ENCOUNTER pain while growing but that doesn't mean you have to go out of your way and force yourself to go through pain thinking it'll magically make you better when it might be the opposite
@@tankiller9638 i needed to hear that one
You lose who you used to be. But with wisdom, you realize that you're always losing who you used to be regardless, so light as well make it productive and grow
amazing way to put it wow
Brother, I am in a such a deep pain right now, and your words just saved me. Thank you so much. I love you.
I love you
You're worthy of love, don't ever forget.
I'm tired of being in pain. I'm at my limit.
I understand friend, life can be very hard on some of us. I hope you find strength to keep trying, even in the worse of days, and I wish all the best to you, wherever you may be. Big hug.
No pain no gain.
The duality of man: when the previous two comments revolve around lifting your fellow human up or tearing them down by belittling their concern.
Quite shameful how so many people have forgotten the human part of being human.
@@had_fun_once Says the person who sees he's glass half empty.
@@Tarzan1972 You do realize you're just proving my point, right?
2024. Was very dark. 2023, and to that year, it’s been bad. Not only did quarantine affect me terribly, I’ve had manipulative, harmful relationships. If you pursue your dreams and hobbies, and workout, it’ll be worth the time :)
How did quarantine affect you deeply?
@ Depends on the person. But me personally, being isolated for so long impacted me a lot then. It wasn’t that bad at times, but I did feel like I missed out on a lot in my life. It changed me. And now I’m used to isolation. I still go out sometimes, but I’m a big loner now. I’m unsure if anyone likes me or not.
oh do I feel you on that one. The good path is a rocky one but as you put it, it'll be worth the time!
Imagine being held hostage by your own room during quarantine. By yourself and phone to order food.
@@shinodamasaru7945 god bro why do you have to be so ignorant. I literally said “it’s not that bad at times.” You don’t know what someone goes through
I lost my mom last year.
The only way i can be closer to her is being more like her.
But i dont know how to be kind, i hate people, i have an abrasive personality and i despise small talk. My mom was a social butterfly and everyone loved her.
No one likes me, ive been a horrible lying shitty human for so many years... Ive told the truth to those i lied and lost all of them, and i still feel so far from whatever it is im trying to do... I hate who i am, but i have to be better because she believed in me, and i have to prove to myself that i am the person she loved and supported.
I have to be better.
Unfortunately this society essentially turns us all into liars. It's normalized behaviour that we have to strive REALLY fucking hard to fight against. Even the most insignificant shit will be lied about and nobody cares, nobody calls anybody out for it and it just continues on that track. Because I'm pretty sure we all know deep down that this entire society is gravely flawed, and rather than accept that and try to change it, we legitimize our behaviour and try to excuse it.
You're not alone man. I'm an abrasive asshole, essentially a Nihilist. I view humanity as inherently flawed and unwilling to improve, so I tend to see it as a failed experiment that needs to end for the good of nature. But there are good people out there, it's just really hard to find them. And whether I see no reason to be positive in this negative world, the only way to see more positivity is to be more positive. It'll likely mean nothing to nobody, but you've got to do these things for yourself and not other people.
But then of course you think "well they likely are a shit person who doesn't deserve anything good being done for them" and get right back to square one.
And that's the vicious cycle I'm constantly living. Wanting to be a good person for others, while not seeing the value in it, knowing most people are garbage and cause far more bad than good in their daily lives. Including my own family.
I actually lost my mom when I was five too, so I didn't get to have that motherly influence at all growing up, replaced by a manipulative cunt who made my life a living hell. Unlearning all of that has been an insane undertaking, especially since I've had to do this learning almost exclusively solo. Sorry you had to lose your mom recently, I can't imagine how hard it must be.
Whether you think you're shitty or not, you can always work towards being better in your own estimation of "better". And every tiny thing you can do in the journey is an improvement. Never see the little things as insignificant, because every tiny step towards that improvement, is one step away from succumbing to the shit most people allow themselves to ruminate in.
💯
Be like you. Even if you appreciate how your mom was.
There's some people who are very outgoing, and that's what's working for them.
Other people are not that social. They're more reserved. They are not the center of attention.
Maybe what's really important is what we... actually want.. everybody wants to be accepted and loved by others, right? But i think we just need to be ourselves. And the right people that resonate with us will stick.
Being ourselves also mean being a good quality person.
So find out how you'd like to be, for you to like yourself.
I think when you like the way you are, then the right people who appreciate those qualities in you, as you do, will stick as well.
There's a lot to this i think. Also don't always say you got to be better, to better, etc. It means you're not enough. You're telling this to yourself by the way you talk with yourself.
Instead, you know how there's hat saying with "the journey of 1000 steps starts with one step?"
When you take that step, you don't really see that you moved, that you're closer to your goal.
But if you pay attention to the small changes that you make, the fact that you do something different to be that kind of person that you'd like to be, then you begin to change how you feel about yourself.
So instead of saying "i need to be better" which means to yourself "i am not enough", look at what small changes you do, and the fact that you try.
You also need to be doing those small changes right? And it feels so hard. And the reason for that is that you are used to live like you are right now.
Start just thinking about being who you want to be.
First imagine who you'd like to be, because i bet we don't think about this every day - or if we do - why do you have to be more like someone else to be liked and accepted? You want to be you. Unique - and be accepted for the quality that you have grown to be in yourself.
And as you imagine - remember this: you give instructions to your brain.
You tell your brain what's the target.
Instead of the target being "not being good enough" because of telling it "i gotta be better"
It will simply be: "this kind of person". "Who talks like this, who feels like this, who does things in an amazing way because he found THE WAY for himself." etc.
Start with imagining who you want to be, and what's important to you.
That's the map. Before you set out to sail. See where you could go and what you'd like, so you know what little steps to do.
Lotta talk. take care!
It’s a lot of pain In this world but it’s for a reason, even if we don’t want to hear it. After the storm there’s a rainbow, after the lowest lows come the highest highs. You watching this video already shows your improvement, I’ve done lots of shitty things in my life to myself and the people I love the most. I hated that version of myself and I didn’t want to be that person anymore so like the guy in the comment below me said it’s one step at a time and be happy with the littlest of progress because that in itself is really powerful. Won’t type your head off lol, you seem like a good person just based off of how you beat yourself up, you care a lot and that’s what makes you beautiful and cool to be around and if people don’t see that, that’s they’re loss straight up!!💯💜
I think the fact that you've written this down, acknowledged it and are taking steps towards self love and improvement is a clear and monumental display of growth. It's okay to acknowledge how you may not be proud of certain behaviours, but also acknowledge your commitment to yourself. A helpful mindset to adapt is to live as though you arrived here only now. You have no past to cling to, only what is happening now in this moment. That's where peace is.
Sometimes it takes a loss to grow. My dad died less than two months ago. He was constantly controlling me and infantilizing me and breaking my boundaries and causing anxiety in me even when he was an old man. He needed to go. I need to grow
That's the real kicker with traumatic upbringings, you don't realize how bad it is until you're older and learn just how wrong they did you. My mother died almost 2 years ago and that sense of safety was the real catalyst for change. We're taught to be helpless, to think we can't succeed, but it was a projection from the start. We have to be more than what got us here
It's so validating to see I'm not the only one who feels this way... I felt like I'm just blowing things out of proportion. But that's exactly how I feel with my family members. It's just never enough for them, you know? They always want to take and take. Now, I've abandoned my goals and dreams for them because they demanded I give all my time and attention for them, but expect me to still go after my goals and dreams that just make me so incredibly hopeless and helpless at this point.
It's so dehumanizing. To think that I worked so hard on myself for years... Only for it to end up like this. I don't know what words would be sufficient enough to describe this loss.
@@BeanSprouts02 You're still alive, so you can still change things for the better for yourself. You don't need their permission or their approval to do what you need to do for yourself. If they don't get you, that's their problem, not yours. It's gonna suck. It always sucks. But the growth is worth it.
At the end when you said "cool?", I felt my mind reflexively say "cool" right back.
Thank you for this video 🧡
3:10 "All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does and that is his"
--Oscar Wilde
You just opened my eyes jeez…
Im probably missing the point of this message but surprisingly i think am more like my mom, at least in positive qualities, which is nice
I don’t understand what he means there tbh
Hm. Well. I can tell you from experience that this is not always true, with Gen Z especially.
Explain?
I ugly cried 4 different times throughout watching this video, and I needed every one. Thank you for making this. I needed this.
Last year was one of the most difficult years in a long while. Actually the last 4 years started a process of change that pretty much turned my life upside down, family, friends, home, habits, work - everything changed way too rapidly for me. I realized a while ago I always hated change, I cried as a kid when we replaced the old living room couch with a new one, I hated to watch old pictures from the past. Only during the last years I realized that change was the thing I feared the most in my life and that what I was running from all the time while also accepting more and more that it’s just a natural part of life. With all the good and bad attached to it.
With all the change in my life I felt I rapidly was growing into a more authentic me, understanding more who I was and who I want to be, at the same time this process was so disruptive… that I wasn’t sure if everything goes downhill and I am losing everything that defined me or if I am just outgrowning my old perception of who I am and what my life is about.
Your video sums up my thoughts and feelings during the last years so so well - thank you so much for sharing! I feel a little more confident that im on the right track and it feels good that feeling uncomfortable and lost while growing is a thing I share with others. I am really glad I stumbled upon this video, wish you all the best for the coming year.
I think it's a sign - the fact that I'm suddenly being recommended these videos.
2025 will be a new year for myself. I've lost so much in 2024, much like others in this comment section.
I hope everyone who is dealing with the pain of existence finds the drive to move on to the next day, step after step.
My heart hurts typing this, but I'll continue to move forward in life. I hope whoever reads this does as well.
I bottled up emotions for so long that when i couldn't handle them anymore i just broke down and started crying, it was actually very liberating i was actually able to see the things that i didn't have to carry with me, and it gave me a chance to forgive myself and others, as well as letting them go.
Forgive and leave, not because they deserve it, but because you deserve peace.
Im glad we all found each other here. The comments are sad and wholesome. Keep supporting each other! We gonna make it
2:37 I really needed to hear that, I've been losing friendships left and right and someone who was very close to me just died, not in physically but in the way of slowly drifting apart. It has really hurt to slowly outgrow them, we've been going in separate directions for the past year and a half, and it definitely hurts. I honestly loved them and they helped me through my darkest times and showed me a way through when I didn't think there was one. I would love to see them again but if I never do thank you for what you did for me, I never told you how much you meant to me and that's truly my fault.
The self is defined by the struggle
This is just what I needed to hear today. My dad is still with us but I empathise a lot with the process of changing the relationship. I’ve put off seeing myself as my own person for a long time, and this year it made me ill. I’ve shaken off the illness, but I realise I have to radically change my own relationship with my dad. I’m sure it’ll be a different process because he’s still with us, but I just wanted you to know that what you’ve been through gives me hope that at the end of all this pain and uncertainty will be a truer version of me.
Thanks bro
Clicked for the Metroid Prime nostalgia, stayed for the realness.
Took me 49 seconds. 49 to click on the notification after the vid was dropped, the remaining 9 minutes were spent watching it entirely. Thanks for this open and heartfelt message ! I hope you’re feeling better !
Okay, learn the message and stop the cringe.
I really needed this. I felt like I lost a part of myself last year. Like I was changing into something else...worse. All I did was realize what I needed to do to grow. For a long time I held onto the grief and guilt from my grandfather, and someone I saw as family, dying. All I could think of was how I could have done better for them. My grandfather was like a father figure to me and my brother. I did not feel deserving of forgiveness, but eventually I let go. I may have let go of those heavy feelings but that doesn't mean I did not care or do not have a connection with them anymore.
Letting go of all the pain I've had in the past has let me focus more on the present and realize what I need to do to grow, the motivation, the desire to grow. I may not be apparently different outside but inside I am different now than I was a year ago. The future may not be ideal, it may not be what I envisioned in my childhood, in high school, college, adulthood, but I know that I can make a future I can be happy with myself for who I become.
The greatest of growth is the ability to accept the worst of changes. Life might take a leg, hit you with chronic illness, or send you to war and there is nothing we can do to avoid its sting. Embrace the pain of life is to be free within your new limited body.
To grow we must endure the pain. And as you said: Growth is hard but is also really beautiful! What a wonderful video to start 2025 brother, thanks a lot! Cheers from Brazil!
For nearly six years, my mind has been battered, trapped in this place that feels more like a prison than a home. Every day has been a fight against the weight of despair, a struggle to hold onto even the smallest shred of hope. I’m exhausted, but my desire to escape burns brighter than ever.
I crave freedom, not just from this place but from the chains it’s wrapped around my heart and soul. All I want is a chance to rebuild, to stand on my own two feet, and to create a life where peace isn’t just a fleeting dream but something I can finally hold onto. I’m fighting with everything I have left, desperate to reclaim a sense of self and a future I can believe in.
Did you think you would have made it this far?
How far do you think you will go now? Will it be like the last time you underestimated yourself?
I'm sorry to say, but you're stronger than you think. I'm sorry because I've had to be strong too, not for a better life, but because I'm in pain I can reduce.
This feels tragic to write. We've lived thus far, still more war to go! Ugh
Shakespeare ahh comment 😭😭
i’m so tired. So tired of the change. I thought I found stability. And then bam, gone.
The only constant you can rely on is change itself.
Thrown in the waves? Don't accept change, use it to surf.
You can't fight change. Best of luck
I'm glad I stumbled upon this video. I struggled with a lot this past year, but I've grown a lot and I hope that I can be a blessing for others and use what I've learned to continue growing this upcoming year.
Found out recently that I have C-PTSD and been working tremendously hard on it. I feel like I'm finally starting to grow up from all my childhood traumas and holy fuck does it hurt. Especially since I'm at an age where people around me have careers and families and I'm going back to school to pursue my passion. I've never felt better yet so vulnerable and in pain. This journey's going to be long and arduous, but I know, for the first time in my life, that I'm on the right path and happy that I finally know where to go.
great video as usual, thank you for this reminder. my gut reaction to the title was that no, growth doesn’t feel like loss really, but that’s only because i’m sitting here in the fun part of a year-long growth arc
in the beginning of this year it was definitely painful. i had the same experience as you, going to therapy and feeling like i was making little progress. making steps toward my goals but feeling like any meaningful change was so far away it wasn’t even worth doing
then in the summer all this effort i had been putting in converged and started a snowball that has become huge now that it is the end of the year. i got what i was looking for and was already happy about that, but your video made me appreciate it even more because i haven’t reflected on what it took to get here in a while
one of the biggest lessons i’ve learned this year is that growth isn’t linear. often we have to work at something without seeing much of anything for a time before any sort of breakthrough happens
Super agree with this take. I've been experiencing a lot of this this year as well - pretty much all of 2024 for me was discomfort and transformation. In a way where I wasn't saying "why didn't I do this sooner" but rather "oh I absolutely get why I didn't do this sooner, this sucks". Happy to say I got to the end of 2024 and without even realising I was had gotten to a good place, but I had.
Really sorry to hear about your Dad but the way you're talking about yourself now I have to imagine he'd be so proud of you for the work you've done. Really lovely video. Thanks for sharing.
Self Identity has always been the biggest struggle in my life. I used to think of others when thinking of me, instead of seeing who I am, for who I am. It's been a tough journey to Accept that.
a fellow Christian? W
Pain is part of change. But change is a natural part of who we are. You can turn away from it, bottle it up, put it in the back of your mind or run away... but the only thing that makes it better, really, is finding the courage to acknowledge it and say "yeah, that's part of me too."
Feeling pain isn't weakness or shameful at all. It's a necessary part of becoming a stronger "you".
The storytelling in this video is on another level! You seamlessly connect your personal experiences with a universal message that truly resonates. It's incredible how you turn introspection into inspiration for all of us. Thank you for sharing such raw and relatable insights!
2024 was so painful for me, but that pain led me to grow and mature: even though it was a painful year, it was one of the best years of my life, because through it, I finally got to grow and change into someone that one day, I could be proud of.
I’ve learned that sometimes pain brings forth a form of you that you haven’t forgiven. I’m not sure where I heard that quote, but it’s stuck with me for the longest time.
This was a great video I feel like this came up on my feed on purpose. Last year was so hard for me and I keep getting into relationships that are one sided and not good for me. I'm finally finding it easier to cut things out of my life and finally do the things I want and become who I am supposed to be. I'm starting my indie vtuber career and I'm learning how to make video games so I for once in my life, can seek joy in doing the things I want to do instead of just surviving my life.
Reflecting on life in phendrana drifts is literally why I’m sad as a grown man. I was like twelve chilling there and I was like yo I’m gonna die one day.
You should seek to deepen your understanding of death if you wanna get rid of the fear
Have you considered going to a church to at least have some conversation about spirituality and mortality?
Because it is. Love has died and life has lost it's meaning. We always wait for something til we have no time remaining. I'm getting tired of waiting, so I'm probably have to put an end eventualy. Like most have already have.
I don't think love is gone. It's hidden, and dangerous to show.
I have faith the hard times to come will bring out the human in people, good and bad. Better than inhuman good and bad
Great message here. I have reinvented myself several times now; sometimes for the better, other times I've missed the mark. I have gone from doing financially well to being nearly destitute a handful of times, but each experience molds, shapes, and teaches. It's hard to experience contentment or what I personally define as "happiness" without experiencing extreme discomfort as a precursor. Get up. Reflect. Try again with new knowledge. Repeat.
Never stop improving, one little win at a time.
Best of luck, man.
This is art! The way you share your personal struggles while making it a lesson for all of us is pure genius. You have a way of making growth feel like a shared journey, and that’s what makes this so special. Keep inspiring us!
I adore how honest and open and genuine you are, it feels like you're like a big brother teaching me how I myself can get through growth and become better. I'm not in the best spot so I'm really thankful for this video man, you give me hope.
Your words hit home brother.
You were able to express thoughts and emotions that I couldn’t or didn’t even know I had.
I lost my mom in August. Im trying to navigate life without her. I plan on keeping her memory alive by continuing the love and kindness I saw her give.
I’m going through a heart wrenching job change. I’m leaving my friends and a comfortable environment behind for a better future.
As much as endings hurt, they give us the chance at beautiful new beginnings ❤❤
Growth is pain. Just like when we all experienced the soreness and pain of our bones extending and muscles developing during puberty true growth is always accompanied by the pain of change. Take life at your pace, but never stop seeking the growth you can achieve for your life. Don't be afraid of the pain, embrace it.
What's the difference between pain and discomfort? Which one should I seek/pursue for self-growth?
Thanks brother and hope you good luck and love on your journey. I believe in you✊
Lost my father a little over a year ago. You hit the nail right on the head. Keep it up man
Stumbled upon this video at a time when I feel like im at a crossroads… you describe the experience of growth perfectly; there are those days where all you can see is the pain of cutting yourself from bad habits and even going back to them from time to time because it’s what’s familiar but there are those short but powerful moments of reflection where you also realize “damn this used to be so hard and now it’s relatively easy.” I think what’s hardest about the process of growth is we can tend to focus on a particular part of ourselves we’ve struggled with the most and obviously that’s going to take the most time to improve and so we become oblivious to all the other ways we grow as we work hard on that one key thing that’s so important to us. Anyways thanks for the video you may have recalibrated my compass there buddy!
I just want to say good luck to everyone here. We’re all going through it in someway. I hope we all have friends or family we can lean on. This video is exactly what I needed
This video encapsulates everything I’ve been thinking and going through for the past year. Change is hard and scary, going into your 20’s it’s like your whole life gets flipped on its head cause it’s nothing you actually expected. You’re forced to grow up in ways you never imagined and mentally mature in ways that take a long time to develop. I loved the roots analogy, sometimes you do need to evaluate yourself and determine what will be the best for you to grow. Always remember who you want to be and why, you’ll get there one day no matter the situation as long as you continue to do what’s best for YOU. Thank you for the video
Dude, your describing EXACTLY what I'm going through right now. My whole world was totally shattered, and now I'm having to painfully rebuild, but now with the opportunity to change and let go of parts that don't serve me anymore. Its been an absolutely wild ass ride so far, but I think the worst has passed, and now it isn't necessarily pain that lies ahead, but just hard work and dedication so I don't get too comfortable again. Change can really only happen out of discomfort I've come to find. Best of luck to everyone else on their journeys too! This shit ain't easy, but if you want it, you can learn to care about yourself and begin making some amazingly impactful changes in your life, however small they may innitally seem. Love you all!
Thank you for this video. I also went through a lot of change in my life in 2024. When I was thinking back on the last year I was wondering why I kept thinking 2024 was a bad year for me even though I went through so much personal change and finally stopped feeling depressed. This video helped me realize why. I did go through a lot of pain in 2024, but came out a lot happier and healthier. So even though it may not feel like a good year it actually was a good year. Thank you again. I also wanted to say I lost my father recently to, Thanksgiving Day back in 2022 and it wasn't easy since his demise wasn't the best way to go. It took a lot of time, but eventually I was able to deal with it properly and accept the course of my life that would never have happened without my parents. I wish you and everyone else that reads this nothing but bliss, happiness, and a smooth journey of personal growth and self-discovery for the rest of our days on Earth.
Beautiful video, dude. Been going through change intentionally for the last 3 years. This made me once again realize how far I've come. And also how I once upon a time wished to be my dad... But I'm branching out now. Building my own bridges. The way he lives life, just isn't my style. Even if I look up to him a lot.
Let's keep going, all. We can go the distance if we do so with patience and effort. If it rains, we can find a safe place to rest a while. No need to rush.
Such a fire video man. I’m also a junior and started tearing up the moment you spoke about your father. I hope you’re doing okay in life. Your father will always be proud of you, like we all are.
I'm so happy this video appeared in my feed. Recently I've been picking up new habits and they feel good, but somehow they also made me feel sad and empty and I didn't understand it. I would spend a little time on old habits and they would make me feel happy and comfortable!...but then it would only take it a short time for me to feel no joy from those old habits. It was so strange and I was so confused. The whole thing was disheartening. But then your video literally just appeared in my feed a few minutes ago and it has helped me so so much. Everything clicks and makes sense. Thank you, thank you so much.
Thank you for this, most videos like this just reiterate what I already know, but this was SO helpful.
Rise and grind, but the grind hurts but without pain there can be no growth and without growth there can be change and without change there can be no joy
To all… stay strong, stay true, you got this
clicked on this to compare with how i felt i had grown past a long nasty relationship finally. i had no clue i still had a little work left to do w some bad habits that still hold me back from attaining my goals. i thought they were just to hard or far out of reach but thank you for reminding me what power and control i have over this.
Yeah... This is part of growth is usually swept under the rug by like, damn near all of the self-help people. Growth... doesn't feel good. And that's the point. You're putting yourself through uncomfortable situations to learn how to be better and patch up your flaws. But i wish i knew this when i just started my journey of improvement at 15... So much hate and self-loathing could have been avoided. I can't change what happened back then, but i can always carry on the experience and what it taught me. So i thank you, for mentioning this overlooked part of this very important process. Thank you for preparing people who just started out, or are going strong, but haven't realized this yet. You help prepare others for the pain and take it better
Thank you sincerely for these insights. I'm in that stage where I doubt past decisions to change things more and more and have to keep reminding myself that even though it may feel like a massive mistake to have left what has defined my life for almost the last decade, it was necessary for myself to become who I'm meant to be. It a hard process and the doubt will probably linger for quite a while longer but hearing your thoughts has made it easier for now.
I have never watched a video so many times back to back. Every word in this video really resonated with me. Thank you
Man thank you so much for this video. I resonated with 100% of it and it helped put to words what the last two years has been for me. Thank you for being vulnerable and generous with your experiences. I believe it’s healing and encouraging many, like myself.
Thank you. I've grown a lot in the past year and I'm starting to wonder why I still feel bad/uncomfortable. Glad to see I'm not alone in this feeling
This is such a comforting video to listen to. I wish you well in life man
Hey man, I am sorry for your loss... But from listening to you speak, I can easily tell you will become a great Junior and make your family proud. I think you have a valid point in every sentence spoken in this video. I would take it a step further and say: No relationships are meant to stay forever, or at least not in the same form. Let's just appreciate them how we can while we can, and later try to learn something from them. Stay safe and take care! 💪
Real talk bro. To gain you must give
Thank you for this message. Take care of yourself and have a great day. We are doing better than we think we are.
I needed to hear this & that plant metaphor was beautiful.
Keep growing & believe that at the right time, you will attract better things that align with your life.
Thank you.
To articulate those thoughts and experiences and turning it into growth, it's the result of facing your deepest pains and fears, I don't know you, but I think you have become more courageous because of it. I'm glad you posted this video, I feel like, it mirrors my own struggle with C-PTSD, outgrowing it has challenged me like nothing and it has been painfully slow, but because I chose to heal and never quit, I have become who I chose to become. Thanks to your video, I have been able to articulate how trauma made me grow, thank you for your insights
I am glad to find you, I feel like you just give me acknowledgement for my journey to life the last few years. Letting go is my vision of this year. After learning about mental heath and trying so hard to change, letting go is the only thing that really matters right now. Building on things that don't work will not work.
I have seen all your video's and just want you to know that your action of starting to record in your car and upload a video has such a great effect on others like me. Thank you for your wise words. You have a great voice that really speaks to me. Have great day my man and a happy new year! Greetings from Belgium.
Thank you for your insight. This video has helped me already grow and be more confident in the future. There’s so much nuance in learning and growing it’s hard to feel “right.”Truly grateful for your inspiring and eye opening ideas.
I actually came to a similar realization recently that I wrote some lyrics on. I realized that I kind of had this image of who my friends were in my head, and just kept that false impression of them for a good while despite them changing as people. As I then started getting closer to them over the past few months, it hit me that they weren’t quite the people I thought they were. While it hurt to contend with that, I think it’s allowing for more authenticity in my relationships now that I am trying not to force people into molds, and it has even allowed me to reflect on myself some with how authentic I am really being. I definitely get where you are coming from.
Man just found your channel and deam it put me back to reality was so lose in thought your channel really helping me see some aspects in live and remember my younger self really appreciate the content hope you keep it up
I’ve lost more people in the past year than ever before in my life, whether it be because they changed or passed away, On top of being sick through much too large a portion of the year so I couldn’t workout to get rid of the pain, I know I’ve grown, I know who I have to be to help others, I cannot let all this crap keep me down, thanks for this video brother.
Thank you for this. This is the first video I've seen of yours. I don't know if this was challenging for you to share or not but I really really needed this. Thank you.
watching you play old games that I played with old loved ones, while also hearing very caring and loving words, I just want to say thank you
That metaphor about rotten roots was exactly what I needed today. Thanks. 🌱
Thank you, great message. I couldn't let go of day 3/01, but your video is helping.
Love the wisdom. Keep it up. Someone needs to hear what you have to say.
Wasn't looking for this video, but got it recommended to me. And yes did i need this video, been feeling down lately and this made me feel it's okay i am growing as we speak.
Thank you for the video, i gave it a like. And my condolences for your father ❤.
Thanks for this video man...
I think a big part of why I'm finding it hard to change is because I feel I'd be losing my identity and becoming a completely different person, but your video really helped me see another perspective to it.
(sorry for my poor english)
This video came to me while going through a painful process. A breakup with a girl I still love, and from what I feel she still loves me. But it's complicated, and as I began to grow I realized the relationship wasn't working for either of us.
So I deeply resonate with what you said. I don't want to feel this way, but I realize the quicker I accept it the easier the process. It'll still be painful, but the wave of emotions will be more manageable if I take it in stride instead of fighting it. I've already experienced the latter, and it took three grueling years. Pain also teaches you it's best to do better each time.
The realization is what you said-in order for me to keep growing I had to remove some things that weren't working for me. Even if it meant losing someone I love deeply.
There are crappy days and there are miserable days. In between there are lapses, moments in which you forget for a moment. Those feel nice. And that's what I want to cling onto without rejecting the pain, because I know the pain holds a powerful lesson. If I don't deal with it now it'll resurface as some habit or emotional wound that affects my future. I don't want that.
Part of growing is not putting off what's painful because it's painful. It's going head on and accepting there's a necessary price to pay for the lesson life is going to teach you.
One day you'll be able to look back and be thankful you went through this very time. A trying time which forged you into a stronger you, more resilient you. Keep strong, brothers.
Last year was all about healing for me since the year started with a heartbreak. But that heartbreak allowed me to really tap in to myself and figure out who i was, who i am and who i want to be. Now a year later I´m grateful for that heartbreak because i was lost, and i was living through her not with her. This year I´m focusing on self growth and slowly becoming the person i feel like I´m meant to be.
Also I´m very sorry to hear about your dad, i cant imagine the pain. One of my "goals" this year is to spend more time with my family. I really enjoy spending time with my dad, I´m always happy around him and i really cherish the moments i have with him.
last year, I felt I made no growth as it wasn't as painful as the year before it. Almost as if I had stopped growing.
Watching this video reminded me of the few things, some decisions and shared feelings with you.
Change will bring some more loss, but it's ok.
I just need to keep my head down, feelings grounded and move forward.
wow beautiful format you have here with the gentle music and nostalgic gameplay. I like the caption style too. let me soak in this message but happy the algorithm brought me here!
This was so beautiful and I just stumbled on this video accidentally. Maybe this was meant for me because I’ve been through divorce, losing touch with my brother, losing middle school friends, and even recently getting scammed $6,000. It has lead to a lot of self resentment but I am trying to do a lot to change or better my situation. Like trying to find new friends and a new part time job along with keeping my current job is all uncomfortable but like you said, pain is part of the process of growing. I have to be patient because it will take time to make new friends and raise up that money I’ve lost. Thanks for your video. I just wanted to let you know that it really helped and resonated with me.
Thank you, friend. You've reminded me of why I needed to change. I'm excited to see who I will become.
Good video. Not sure if I agree with the outgrowing part. Personal growth shouldn't be reflected in other people. The other people in our lives are not there to help us and then be discarded.
Sure, not every relationship will last forever and it's okay to part ways with your partner if they don't have the same life and relationship goals for the future, it's okay to stop being friends with someone if you think or realize they're not a good person. But conversations feeling empty and things like that can be solved with communication. Sometimes those things may even be a sign that you need to take care of your own mental health, you know? Sometimes it's the place and the situation we're in and... Sometimes it's our own heads.
You can keep growing, always, all the time. And still, you can be with the people around you that you love and that loves you. And you can keep putting in work in that relation so it grows too. And help them grow too as people.
People are not there just to be used by us as stepping stones.
while i see what you’re saying, i think what doozy is pointing out here is valid
the summer after high school, i got a full time internship while the rest of my friend group used the weekdays to hang out
neither of these things are bad, but whenever i got a chance to spend time with them it was dominated by stories and inside jokes from things i’d had to miss because of work. by the end of the summer i realized i had become an outsider, the things that were tethering me to the group had mostly disappeared
i could’ve continued to try to force those friendships, but i was going off to college for four years which i was sure would create an even bigger divide. in hindsight, i’m glad i let go and freed up my energy for pursuing incredible friendships in college instead of trying to preserve a high school dynamic that no longer existed
Yeah you’re right, really valuable additional thoughts.
I think you can also have relationships with old friends even if you don’t have so much in common anymore. I still have a few friends from elementary school and we outgrow each other for sure, we don’t have much in common anymore. However we still help each other out when someone needs help and we occasionally meet up to something we all still enjoy, like watching a movie or just drink some and talk. Maybe it’s not a deep friendship anymore, maybe it’s not intimate as it was, but we all do respect each other and the time we shared I guess.
I relate so much to this. I play fighting competitively and my road to improvement were probably the worst in terms of mental health. I'm still growing and I can see I've come very far but sometimes I wonder if it was worth it because of the pain I got for trying
It really didn't help that outside the competition stuff happened to make me feel worse but I pulled through
Could you imagine the pain it you didn't try?
Growing is painful, but so are your fight, right? How does the pain of change make you feel compared to the pain of a good fight?
Thank you stranger on the internet, i needed that.
We have to all remember:
"The pain is temporary but gains are eternal"
These words were playing in my head through the video.
The plant comparison was perfectly describe you have to leave something behind to grow something new.
Like getting out old books out of the shelf to get new ones.
I really needed this. Thank you so much
To grow you must lose the way you currently do things. To grow requires change and adapting to one’s situation, you inherently lose what you once were in favor of something that serves you better.
I been going tho alot the last few years trying to be better more kind gave up old friends and etc just dam thank you for this!
Thank you for the video, It's a aspect of Life to change. For better and worse, but never give up.
well said. whenever we think things are “falling apart” they’re actually coming together. it helps to look at the bigger picture as life only makes sense when looking back; this is why i prefer to live in my timeline, do my own thing, and enjoy the process, as everything works out in its unique personal timing. we’re always learning and growing too, but we have to have self awareness so we can reflect and continue being a kind hearted person to ourselves as that good energy is projected onto the world. reality itself is already a mirror, it’s good to focus on the energy that aligns with you the most. when you focus on your well-being, knowing that we’re all expressions of the same universal source, you start to see everything come together over time. let go of everything you thought was you and embrace your aligned self
I start therapy in 5 days, I’ve been waiting 15 years for it. I also have someone in my life that really cares for me, but I’ve outgrown them and don’t see a future that I want with them, whilst all they seem to want is me and they have no desire to prepare for the future and never have. I needed to hear all of this, thank you. I’m so sorry about your father, but from the sounds of it he’d be proud of the man you became x
Its true. Even in gaming when youre getting better youre going to think youre getting worse for a while before you break the plateau and you then cook on ranked. Real life is the same way. Pain and suffering and then you WIN!
This is just the video I needed. Thank you UA-cam algorithm and thank you doozy
first time watching this channel but i needed to hear some of this. funny how things work out sometimes
Glad I got around to watching this.
PS: Love the vibes-keep it up!
i appreciate you and your work brother 🙏
Its funny 2024 was an amazing year for me because of my career landing a job I've wanted to do but it ended on caveats of personal relationships I've been having 2nd thoughts. Which is painful because I've such strong times and strong histories with them. I just do not know what to do with these emotions anymore not even my therapist is helping anymore. Your video I think helped give me an idea that I need to explore at my pace into 2025 so truly thank you! ❤
wow, what?? this is the first genuine, longer form content i've come across on yt in ages. thanks for sharing your thoughts man. you seem like the kind of person that has epic conversations over cold pizza or something dumb like that and it being a core memory. in an awesome way. i also think it's neat that you're making a difference where you can. this is cool. :)
Like an insect shedding its shell, we must rip out of our old carcass and crawl out into the world.
And for a time, unprotected while waiting for our new skin to thicken enough to protect us from the battering of the world.