@@KatyLawson I'm also not watching it, but from a very cursory glance at the comments on those videos it looks like Dan's calendars are so shit that Ashens is winning basically every episode.
I'm one hundred percent sure only a deranged maniac made those. I can attest I had several of those when I was a toddler and it's been ingrained into the back of my mind for years, plus I was born in '05 and I don't think AIs were that smart to make uncanny valley children's book at '09-10 (probably). The reality of this means some real ass person created these with their own two hands is more horrifying to comprehend rather than a souless AI
@@Sommersolsyeah, I'm from 2001, and my grandparents had one of these books in 2004. I'm pretty sure it wasn't made by AI. Pretty sure there was also non christmas ones, and ones for easter that were just as "well drawn"
The same guy probably draws them every year, hating life more and more as time goes on, eating a bigger bag of mushrooms or other substance before he gets to work to make his pointless sad existence slightly tollerable
Surely those were marketed as office-specific crackers!? Although it was weird that there was also a heart charm in the mix ~ workplace romance, woo woo lol
The coloring books have really been gems these past couple specials. Someone needs to make sure these horrors are available forever on the internet for sure. xD
Has anybody ever seen the episode with Mr. Bean with one of those crackers in Christmas and he puts in other explosive powder in. That reminds me of that big cracker. Boom.😂😂😂😂😂😂🎉
I don't know why, but in my experience tennis balls marketed for dogs tend to last about 2 play sessions before they've been turned into a dangerous mess of felt and rubber, whilst actual tennis balls last for years. Maybe that's the Grinch part - they choke your dog to death?
Tennis courts are hard to find anymore but I had one near me years and years ago. I would just ask random people playing if they had a couple of worn out tennis balls in their bucket for my dog and they would give a few over. Tennis balls wear out fast, which is why there are so many in a tube when you buy them. Once the elasticity wears off the balls don't bounce right anymore and they become junk for practice. @@OptimusSledge
@@RXBSXBEY-hh8hn Interesting timing. I made that comment 11 months ago and you reply about 10 minutes after my dog dies in real life (although not from choking on a dog tennis ball).
I love the colouring book part, it’s the best lmao, always remember those cheap pound/bargain shop books with that distinctly crap paper that repelled every colouring device you used on it, crayons NEVER stuck to it, and if they did they looked terrible, also they always had the weirdest pictures, as demonstrated in these episodes 😂 good old fashioned cheap British colouring books, man, never change
Does make me wonder if either Poundland buying team have a wicked sense of humour, or their factory is having a laugh or both. Either way I don't believe someone at Poundland hadn't mentioned it before it made it to the shops...
I really, really want to buy one of those coloring books. That is clearly an elf leg in the lion cage, that is definitely a boot on the left of the bone. And I'm pretty sure Santa took off more than his shirt in the previous picture. That "pocket" is either a weird tattoo, a parasite, a birthmark, or an old war wound. And how the hell does the elf's leg bend that way at 19:17. I need more of that in my life.
Was taking my turkey back tomorrow as it seemed there was not going to be an Xmas special and that means no Christmas the kids say thanks ashens as they gets a Christmas now
When the coloring book came out, man, I hadn't laughed that hard in a while. P.S. Where I work, we use plastic paper clips for MRI safety questionnaires!
3:36 we have three light up snowmen that look to be the same basic design just without the fabric face. Had them for years, the LEDs are starting to give out
Rudolph isn't crying, his eyes are watering from being stuck to the front of a ball as it travels at Mach 3. Ceramic Santa has sustained multiple stellate wounds from having the barrel of the gun pressed against him when discharged. Are any of us surprised that someone whose job consists of gluing tiny clogs onto trolls doesn;t actually give a 💩about their job?
I haven't watched an ashens video in years after watching constantly years ago then just drifting into other topics, and wow these videos are still exactly as excellent as they always have been! How comforting.
Ashen I may not watch every video of yours but when the algorithm is dry, I can always count on you to make critiquing random/seasonal tat enjoyable. Thank you Mr. Ashens
proof ashens is a cat is at 2:20 he breaks a christmas tree and starts purring because of it! edit: bonus for those of us who like to get down with the sickness every now and then - 3:27
I think the heart key ring thing is a zipper pull; you stick the black string part through the hole of a zipper, thread the heart through the loop of the string and pull it taught like a slip knot.
I actually have the duckmas tree on my Christmas tree. The poundland i went to had them all with misprinted eyes and dents in the head or just melten / mis shapen heads so i got the derpiest one
Merry Christmas Stewart. The duck looks like a green version of a poop in the style popularized by the comic series Dr. slump poop but decorated with sprinkles with a duck inside. The soft serve ice cream looking style of pop but with a duck inside is a odd concept.
What IS going on with Dollar Tree? Mine is weirder every time we go in. The craft aisle is HUGE now, which is the only good thing. No other shops in town 😢
No idea. Mine is really a dump. Last couple times I went in they had a rat problem, and a lot of the food was expired. I had gotten some yogurt before and got sick from it, turned out it was 7 months expired. Due to strict US food regulations and import tariffs, Dollar Tree stuff is a lot more "filtered" than stuff from UK pound shops. That's a lot less weird and goofy things and more of just overstock from other retailers sold at discounts. I have found lots of movies and books with Walmart, Barnes & Noble, and Target tags still on them.@@athenathegreatandpowerful6365
It will forever be comical to me when ashens reacts so much to the cracker pop, but it always blows out the mic when it happens, so it's like he's reacting to nothing
I'm working in an American dollar store this Christmas season, the stores are absolutely overrun with Gonks. They're all just called 'Gnomes' in America, We never used the word Gonk in the first place. And people love them?? We sell so damn many... My roommate is obsessed as well?? She has gnome decor for all seasons. Almost all of it from the dollar store brand I work at.
For some reason, I just remembered this channel exists. Glad to see Ashens is still going - I started watching when i was a young child, and I'm now preparing to start my PhD. How time flies!
Having grown up with a fiberoptic lamp and spending the years picking bits of the glass lines out of my feet, watching you squeeze and crush the tree had me cringing in distress.
It's not Christmas without an Ashens Christmas special!
Christmas started with the Ashens Advent videos
I and my Reliable Reindeer agree. You need both.
Indeed!
So, during 1990-1999 you didn't have a Christmas? No presents, just said "fvck it, no ashens, no Xmas"?
@@Boogie_the_cat that's exactly what I did.
In the 80s I used to watch Ashens on RadTube (an 80s version of UA-cam).
i unironically love that rubber duck, he just looks so happy about being a tree.
send it too Wade! (DankPods) MY DUCK!!
He looks more like he's cosplaying as a gimp suited car shock absorber.
I love this duck too! It so silly and cheerful
He is overjoyed to be a tree and so would i
I have all of them, now my kids are roasting me for bombing Christmas so hard my decs have ended up in an Ashens video, I may never recover 🤦🏻♀️🤣
Nice duck plug.
Nice plug duck
Look at 16:45 you can see what that guy is packing
@@FallenWolf64 Rubber Duckie you're the one
You make bath time lots of fun
@ammosophobia rubba dubba dub There's a rubber duck in the tub that's there to show some love.
I cannot stress this enough.
Somebody.
Got.
*Paid.*
To.
Draw.
That.
Book.
Some people get paid to shove things up their butt
Nah, most likely some year 4 art teacher using their students drawings.
They ain't going to pay someone, use your head haha
@@AI_and_I_Lyrics people get paid for this... Regardless of who drew it someone got paid
@@samholdsworth420 Maybe they are done by AI. It would explain the oddness.
This is certainly a lot less depressing than this year's Advent Calendars with Dan...
I don't watch that series, what's happened with the calendar this year?
To be fair it hasn't affected him as much as it probably should have done.
Every time anyone asks how he is he always says "Good."
@@teqrevisitedSo not as bad as the cheese then?
@@KatyLawsonthere’s 5 calendars. They both picked 2 to compete and both of Dan’s are absolute crap lol.
@@KatyLawson I'm also not watching it, but from a very cursory glance at the comments on those videos it looks like Dan's calendars are so shit that Ashens is winning basically every episode.
The Christmas colouring book will always be the cherry on top of these videos
There's no way that wasn't created by an AI image bot.
I'm one hundred percent sure only a deranged maniac made those. I can attest I had several of those when I was a toddler and it's been ingrained into the back of my mind for years, plus I was born in '05 and I don't think AIs were that smart to make uncanny valley children's book at '09-10 (probably). The reality of this means some real ass person created these with their own two hands is more horrifying to comprehend rather than a souless AI
@@Sommersols I can agree with that
@@Sommersolsyeah, I'm from 2001, and my grandparents had one of these books in 2004. I'm pretty sure it wasn't made by AI. Pretty sure there was also non christmas ones, and ones for easter that were just as "well drawn"
16:45 you can see the guy junk.
At least that rubber duck has a flared base for safety.
Well, at least a&e staff will have something to grab onto when they're pulling it out of your arse, I suppose. /l
I swear the colouring book gets more demented with each passing year.
The same guy probably draws them every year, hating life more and more as time goes on, eating a bigger bag of mushrooms or other substance before he gets to work to make his pointless sad existence slightly tollerable
@@Colt45hatchbackJesus Christ
@@nopenope7088 😂
The office supplies as the "gift" in the Christmas Crackers genuinely had me choking laughing
Surely those were marketed as office-specific crackers!? Although it was weird that there was also a heart charm in the mix ~ workplace romance, woo woo lol
Really WHF? They must have thaught that they would be purchased for office Christmas parties.
I expected a WORLDS BEST BOSS mug and a stapler in gelatin inside the crackers
I love the fact that, at 9:00, the tree and the gonks make a shape of a rat head facing left with a giant Mohawk. True Christmas magic.
Elvis Rat
Our lord and saviour, Christmas rat
More a pompadour, maybe? But that is indeed uncanny. =)
I could literally watch you go through every page of that colouring book. I laughed harder than was wise.
My fondest wish is to meet the artist of that colouring book and shake their hand.
Ask them where they get their mushrooms
The coloring books have really been gems these past couple specials. Someone needs to make sure these horrors are available forever on the internet for sure. xD
my mother has collected these ducks for years and she lays them out all over the bathroom, think she has like 8 now
👍My Grandmother did the same,had like 20 in various places all over the bathroom 👌 🦆
I think she would enjoy looking up the work of one James Veitch, noted scholar of rubber ducks…
Is she... OK? Have you had her seen by a doctor? Maybe a psychiatrist?
Came for the tat stayed for the colouring book 😂
I also came
The annual Christmas special I look forward to more than Christmas specials every year
Has anybody ever seen the episode with Mr. Bean with one of those crackers in Christmas and he puts in other explosive powder in. That reminds me of that big cracker. Boom.😂😂😂😂😂😂🎉
His interpretation of that rubber duck was much more innocent then mine 😂
I forget how much I want the yearly look at the colouring book until it finally arrives. We need a supercut of all the previous iterations.
0:00: Intro
0:26: Christmas tree rubber ducky
1:50: Fiber optic light-up Christmas tree
3:04: Light-up Rudolph snowball
4:00: Another dead Santa tea light holder
4:49: Another Elf on the Shelf lollipop
6:25: Grinch tennis balls
7:37: Gonk ornaments
9:19: Stick figure reindeer tea light holder
10:07: Christmas crackers
16:13: Weird Christmas coloring book
19:36: Outro
Oh man the gruesome descriptions like Santa with a shotgun wound and the reindeer being a burnt skeleton just make me cry from laughter
Don't forget scabby snowball Rudolph
Laughing so hard at getting a singular binder clip for a present out of a giant cracker 😂😂😂😂😂
Frankly, it’s a better and certainly a more useful thing than usual.
I recently moved and I don't know how many of those I threw out while going through paperwork
I don't know why, but in my experience tennis balls marketed for dogs tend to last about 2 play sessions before they've been turned into a dangerous mess of felt and rubber, whilst actual tennis balls last for years.
Maybe that's the Grinch part - they choke your dog to death?
That'll be why actual tennis balls are more expensive.
Tennis courts are hard to find anymore but I had one near me years and years ago. I would just ask random people playing if they had a couple of worn out tennis balls in their bucket for my dog and they would give a few over. Tennis balls wear out fast, which is why there are so many in a tube when you buy them. Once the elasticity wears off the balls don't bounce right anymore and they become junk for practice. @@OptimusSledge
It's also green, dogs might be able to see it in the snow but not in the grass
Excellent
@@RXBSXBEY-hh8hn Interesting timing. I made that comment 11 months ago and you reply about 10 minutes after my dog dies in real life (although not from choking on a dog tennis ball).
That coloring book never fails to bring me utter joy
I love the colouring book of Lovecraftian eldritch abominations for the Solstice.
If only the rubber ducky had some flashing leds it would be perfect.
Perhaps Stuart can give the duck and Christmas tree to Big Clive.
@@DarthPerkins One moment please...
I saw a light up Christmas tree Gonk at the store this year
The colouring book could be an episode in its self, I'd love to see the terror on every page.
Duck looks like a sex toy......apparently. 👀
It looks more like a dump to me, but I think I've been playing those newer Zelda games too long.
Quite the oversized duck plug, be careful this Christmas!
@@favoritemustard3542 😆
I love the colouring book part, it’s the best lmao, always remember those cheap pound/bargain shop books with that distinctly crap paper that repelled every colouring device you used on it, crayons NEVER stuck to it, and if they did they looked terrible, also they always had the weirdest pictures, as demonstrated in these episodes 😂 good old fashioned cheap British colouring books, man, never change
Yes, the duck looks like a tree. That's exactly what it looks like. Nothing else.
It only looks like something else if you're depraved and spend all day online and never have sex.
It's ribbed for your pleasure. That means you'll enjoy it more, clearly.😎
Duckplug
My favorite Christmas tradition has to be the coloring book. I wait for it every year
The Ducksmass Tree is the absolute top of the top in my humble opinion :D
Especially when you put it on the floor and then squat over it.
@@TommyDeonauthsArchives Best kind of toy :D :D
Does make me wonder if either Poundland buying team have a wicked sense of humour, or their factory is having a laugh or both. Either way I don't believe someone at Poundland hadn't mentioned it before it made it to the shops...
My favorite part of these holiday videos has to be the coloring book reviews 😆
Thank you as always for jingling our bells
stop saying weird gay shit
@@mattalan6618 Jingle Jingle
@@mattalan6618no u
Glad to see that the rubber duck/xmas tree has a flared base for added safety.
I really, really want to buy one of those coloring books. That is clearly an elf leg in the lion cage, that is definitely a boot on the left of the bone. And I'm pretty sure Santa took off more than his shirt in the previous picture. That "pocket" is either a weird tattoo, a parasite, a birthmark, or an old war wound. And how the hell does the elf's leg bend that way at 19:17. I need more of that in my life.
The tree lights at 2:03 were so damn anticlimactic and not at all what I was expecting 💀
The sentient Santa sack and the drugged up fish are quite easily the funniest things I’ve seen for months. Thanks!
Merry Fishmas
Was taking my turkey back tomorrow as it seemed there was not going to be an Xmas special and that means no Christmas the kids say thanks ashens as they gets a Christmas now
My Christmas tradition is always watching the Ashens Christmas Special ❤ 🎄
Imagine the horror if Gonks got their hands on Grass masks.
All hell would break loose.
When the coloring book came out, man, I hadn't laughed that hard in a while.
P.S. Where I work, we use plastic paper clips for MRI safety questionnaires!
That coloring in book was very funny 🤣🤣
I’m so glad the Christmas colouring book is back, it wouldn’t be Christmas without some freakish drawings 😂
I found wrapping paper covered in little gonks as if they are a classic xmas thing
9:45 Reindeer in a gimp suit?
19:00 That's a safety railing for climbing the giraffe...
Firmly in the pro-tree-duck camp.
oh man we really need an extraashens video of more of that coloring book
3:36 we have three light up snowmen that look to be the same basic design just without the fabric face. Had them for years, the LEDs are starting to give out
"Some people love it, some people hate it."
Understandable, Stuart. Not everyone wants a festive ducky buttplug.
Although, God only knows why..
A duck-plug
I’m not sure why I laughed so hard at Gandalf the Beige 😂😂
You should have called it a Duck Plug.
This genuinely makes my Christmas special - thank you for the cheer - we bloody need it 👏😊
The Elf lollypop looks terrifying. He would fit right in in one of the Puppet Master movies. Puppet Master 10 Murder Elfs 😅
The metal puzzles are haunting you Ashens, at least it doesn't keep meaning you tie everyday.
Rudolph isn't crying, his eyes are watering from being stuck to the front of a ball as it travels at Mach 3.
Ceramic Santa has sustained multiple stellate wounds from having the barrel of the gun pressed against him when discharged.
Are any of us surprised that someone whose job consists of gluing tiny clogs onto trolls doesn;t actually give a 💩about their job?
"Sick On A Rubber Duck" was my favourite 90s british punk band
*Stuart Ashen is my Christmas.*
I haven't watched an ashens video in years after watching constantly years ago then just drifting into other topics, and wow these videos are still exactly as excellent as they always have been! How comforting.
my favourite part about the christmas tree duck is that if you put it in the bath its just gonna go upside down
Oh my gosh the tree lol
I laughed so hard at the Christmas kidney! 😂 plus the dog, the diving Santa and the giant dino giraffe!
Ashen I may not watch every video of yours but when the algorithm is dry, I can always count on you to make critiquing random/seasonal tat enjoyable. Thank you Mr. Ashens
Awesome, so glad these are still going on!
19:03 That's not a giraffe, that's the ogopogo.
It sure ain't Christmas until the Ashens Christmas Special is up!
RRY CH!
The tennis balls are hilarious because you know they had a meeting about green things to associate with the grinch, 😂😂
Yessssss been waiting for this thankyou soooo much lovely Stuart!!! Merry Christmas 🎅 🎄
In the 90's, there was some awesome fiber optic lamps and toys. What ever happened to that?
But Stuart! Are you being a reliable reindeer this Christmas?
Gonks have made it to America. This year was the first I had seen them.
That reindeer tealight is so bad it makes the reliable reindeer look like a work of art.
proof ashens is a cat is at 2:20 he breaks a christmas tree and starts purring because of it!
edit: bonus for those of us who like to get down with the sickness every now and then - 3:27
Man these always get in me in a festive mood.
Ànd me in stitches ! 🤣🤣🤣
18:20 that was used in the Christmas colouring book in 2017 I believe. Was only rewatching it yesterday
I'm a reliable reindeer!
And we are all grateful for such a wondrous and generous act of kindness!
Amazing to see the purchasing power of the pound @ 2:39
But the rubber duck is lovely!
I think the heart key ring thing is a zipper pull; you stick the black string part through the hole of a zipper, thread the heart through the loop of the string and pull it taught like a slip knot.
I actually have the duckmas tree on my Christmas tree. The poundland i went to had them all with misprinted eyes and dents in the head or just melten / mis shapen heads so i got the derpiest one
I’m alone for Christmas this year, away from family for work. It’s always nice to see a wholesome video from Ashens pop up on my feed.
When I get bored I go back and revisit the previous years' specials.
Stay fresh cheese bags!
Merry Christmas Stewart.
The duck looks like a green version of a poop in the style popularized by the comic series Dr. slump poop but decorated with sprinkles with a duck inside.
The soft serve ice cream looking style of pop but with a duck inside is a odd concept.
I look forward to this every year 🎄
Good ol' duck plug.
The Dollar Tree near me has been closed for well over a month for absolutely no reason at all - so I need Ashens pound shop tat to keep me alive.
What IS going on with Dollar Tree? Mine is weirder every time we go in. The craft aisle is HUGE now, which is the only good thing. No other shops in town 😢
No idea. Mine is really a dump. Last couple times I went in they had a rat problem, and a lot of the food was expired. I had gotten some yogurt before and got sick from it, turned out it was 7 months expired.
Due to strict US food regulations and import tariffs, Dollar Tree stuff is a lot more "filtered" than stuff from UK pound shops. That's a lot less weird and goofy things and more of just overstock from other retailers sold at discounts. I have found lots of movies and books with Walmart, Barnes & Noble, and Target tags still on them.@@athenathegreatandpowerful6365
MERRY CHRISTMAS
Hilarious. You were very brave to taste test the mallow sucker, and the Gonks were a bit cute, at least, even with their backward feets.
Rubber Duckie you're the one
You make bath time lots of fun
Twisted metal puzzles are always disappointing. Never any cars shooting at each other! Bait and switch I say!
Thank you Mr. Ashens, every year you make my Christmas brighter with these bloody videos.
I always forget about the holiday specials until they show up in my subscriptions I love ashens 🤤
Gandalf Grey and his Backwards Legs? Sounds like they could have been a band my dad heard when he went to Eel Pie Island back in 1963
It finally feels like christmas
‘Super fibre-optic mega Christmas’ is the best collection of words i’ve head since ‘blast off to adventure in the amazing year 400 billion’
The duck looks like a Philadelphia Experiment style accident happened between a duck and a festive poo.
It will forever be comical to me when ashens reacts so much to the cracker pop, but it always blows out the mic when it happens, so it's like he's reacting to nothing
An excellent Christmas Special
I'm working in an American dollar store this Christmas season, the stores are absolutely overrun with Gonks. They're all just called 'Gnomes' in America, We never used the word Gonk in the first place. And people love them?? We sell so damn many... My roommate is obsessed as well?? She has gnome decor for all seasons. Almost all of it from the dollar store brand I work at.
Why are Christmas Trees rubbish at sewing? Because they keep dropping their needles.
For some reason, I just remembered this channel exists. Glad to see Ashens is still going - I started watching when i was a young child, and I'm now preparing to start my PhD. How time flies!
Having grown up with a fiberoptic lamp and spending the years picking bits of the glass lines out of my feet, watching you squeeze and crush the tree had me cringing in distress.
That little jingle at the beginning puts me in the holiday mood 🎉