if i remember corectly i lived like 3 or 4 in primary school but thanksfully i already had the trust of some adults so they knew i was right even if a groupe came saying i was wrong
Stove piping isn’t discussed too often although several manipulation tactics you’ve mentioned can apply to stove piping. Regardless it’s worth a discussion.
Duh maybe even employed em jus business nuffins personal thinking that was how things are done jus so commonplace but found oot hard way don't really like doing dat to others n having dat done to meh gotta b better methods than them lame tactics o wot o power trips marketing schemes scamming carrot o the stick dark artes seduction maybe plenty more possibly forgetting bouts jus so oot o the loop oot o practice become so socially awkward as alls hells maybe mine mind playing itty own awful tricks n mind games doth i truely needs to adds suffering onto to the crowds o wotta wild spimes we lives at these ood moments definitely feels ood sensation theys didn't have enuff spimes to properly include every tatic also are theys teasing meh sensation jus wanna plays along distraction o sorts idfk jus generation sum noise to fills a void o something ugh stills gotta lot o meh to sorts minzelf oot o so tysm furs assistance appreciate efforts don't wanna waste chances wot dice am i ood end o theys practical jokery ugh ood moods they finds meh ood thoughts so set loose from meh takes cares cuteness laters nya sojourneys
Definitely coersion. I was manipulated into co-signing with someone on a car. I was told I wouldn’t have to pay a thing, but now I’m having to pay half of it. This person has screwed me over a lot.
Every of these tactics in this vid is good for everyone. 👍 Your parents, friends, peers, acquaintance and authorities did the tactics to defend themselves.
The craziest thing to me is even when knowing some of these, you can still be manipulated. You can know it is happening, but some part of you brushes it off as if it doesn't mean anything. Why would it? I'm not worth anything, there's nothing for them to take. There is always something. I spent the last 12 years thinking there's something wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with me. The biggest eye opener is how desperate they'll try to meet you in person once you're gone. That's how they do it. In person manipulation to force snap decisions on the spot. Don't do it. Just stay away. Doesn't matter what they try to say or do. It will always reveal more about them than it reveals about you. As cliche as it sounds, ignoring them and moving on is the best way out.
Fun fact : I've just recently cut the bridges with a close friend because he manipulated me for almost 3 years now, and he used like a half of all the methods you explained 😂 Your video just confirmed me everything i've been thinking for months, glad to see I wasn't the one in the wrong all this time 😊
Another one is called Bread-crumbing, where the manipulator may appear that they care one day, but completely flips the next day. They repeat this cycle to keep you in their circle. Hence the name, it’s like the manipulator is holding a big loaf of bread, but only gives you a trail of crumbs leading to it, instead of the whole loaf at once.
You back away, once they no longer feel any remorse for what they do, just entitlement. And they don't care about how it can detrimentally effect you. They can be extremely harmful in response to your mistakes, but proceeding to continue inflicting harm towards you, while you've already taken accountability, or changed, takes away the necessity towards their treatment towards you. Its never a double-standard, if you've openly expressed your boundaries, and explained how they're distressing you, and the decide to continue to make those actions, and ignore how you feel, its more harmful to keep them in your circle. And, we've all been guilty for at least one of these actions, that doesn't mean everyone is willing to take accountability for them. I am definitely not proud of my former self, but I'm happy enough that I no longer desire to be that person anymore.
Manipulation was ironically the only reason some of our middle-age ancestors even survived, that's probably why some people can do that kind of horrible thing subconciously without their knowledge
@@sheeplegend1324 There's different forms of manipulation, and it depends on the intent of them. Its not always objectively harmful, it can convince others to work harder. But it can also mislead them.
My wife did 14 of these, I did 11 Some of them the same. I think it's impossible not to manipulate to some extent, because we all want what's best for ourselves, even when we think it is what would be best for the people we know, love, and care about. But if they don't see/think/feel the same way, to them it's us manipulating them to our needs. I mean, I can't control how my wife feels nor should I, but if she's sad I'd tell her; don't be sad. There's a thin line between encouragement an manipulation. I think it depends on the reason/motivation behind the actions/reactions. But in most cases you'll never know.
Manipulation is like a sword. Typical Manipulators are usually the ones with bad intention, Some others might have better intentions. It was never about the sword but who wielded it
Detecting these signs early on is crucial for our mental stability. I'm sure you could help a lot of people by raising awareness regarding these matters. Thank you for spreading these words out here!
Sometimes I lie. . .I don't even realize I'm manipulating people, then I'll realize later. "Oh shit, that was cunning, I was good. . .wait, maybe I shouldn't celebrate that"
People are not perfect….to celebrate or half smile when you do something “not nice or a lil lie”. Is not so bad. In my opinion it’s called being “Human”. As long as you not doing it to be “ sinister”. But what do I know?
@@tinabrown9324 eh, I'd say you know more than most. People are so quick to assume or judge, I rolled a huge dice even talking about it in the comments
Yes, we humans can be quite devious, calculating, sinister, and unfortunately have so many other hideous and dark traits! Hopefully we can learn from our many experiences and actions, and end up on the right track eventually! We can only hope this comes to pass! Again, good luck out there! Take care!
Thanks for preparing this! I have learned so many of these by watching hours of video and reading 100s of pages but it's excellent to have them all described succinctly in this video. I have saved it for future reference. It's a great resource to revisit regularly.
Instead of counting the times I can see these tricks being used on me, I think its better for me to learn these more so to avoid doing it myself. Wish you all well!
@@Psych2go Usually tactics 1, 2, 4, 6, 8, 11, 15, 27, 30, and 32. Its quite the repetitive strategy in my opinion, some people just can't accept being wrong
@@Psych2go I appreciate the comment! UA-cam deleted my previous reply so here I go again- I've noticed tactics 1, 2, 4, 6, 8, 11, 15, 27, 30, and 32. This strategy, well, it gets repetitive, I guess some people just can't accept being wrong
I find it's not always a matter of knowing intent on the manipulator's part - many folks have very low levels of insight. They might be doing it out of habit or, commonly, a subconscious motivation, not knowing how to interact with someone else respectfully. And not really being aware of how deeply negative it is for their target. That doesn't mean it's ok or that you should put up with it. But be prepared for shock and defensiveness if you confront it. And it can be tricky setting a firm boundary without demonizing the person when you understandably feel resentful and betrayed.
@@sheeplegend1324 Should you ever trust someone who's been manipulative? I generally don't, though I have manipulative family members who I've learned to keep an eye on. Trust but verify, as the old Russian proverb goes. The way I see it, trust isn't based on good faith, or wishful thinking, or how you assume people behave. It's based on evidence. When someone consistently proves trustworthy, then I'll trust them. Until then it's, we'll see. People are not snakes, everyone is a mix of good and bad. Including you, including me.
Sometimes ghosting is necessary, not to manipulate, but because someone did a smear campaign; the only thing appropriate to do is just walk away and not say anything to manipulator and their flying monkeys. The manipulator wants to be engaged. Ghosting is self preservation in this situation.
So I spoke to this person for 3 months, and during the last month we called and texted almost everyday. Then one day out of nowhere she just stopped replying, and I haven't heard from her since. It's been years now.
@ChrisHoulihan Thats really good advice to give if you want the recipient to jump to conclusions and prevent their own self growth through analysing themselves and the situation lol
@@hardboiled2987 when you are ghosted, I’m not sure what you can take away from that other than you were trying to be with a terrible communicator and coward at best, catfisher at worst. Bullet dodged imo 👍. Reflecting any more than that would be taking it personally when there is nothing to base blaming yourself off of
pay attention and learn these, practice recognizing them (do not necessarily call people out on them unless you are 100% certain and in a position to do so without repercussions) - we are in an era of manipulation. Manipulating people is glamorized and romanticized, and there is little if any backlash for a manipulator. More than ever, masses of human beings aspire to be manipulators and exploiters, NOT good, kind, honest people (they're looked down on as stupid, gullible prey). Recognizing manipulation tactics can guide you in life against exploiters and lead you towards your next moves in life. These are dark, lonely times. Human beings behave more akin to reptiles - cold-blooded, heartless, predatorial. When you find a real human being, cling to them with everything you have, protect and love tthem.
How can you avoid it? And how not to do it? How to say that you're being manipulative to others if you're not aware? I think I'm a manipulative person without knowing it 🤦
It’s natural to have learned a handful of manipulation tactics growing up. Recognizing when you are doing them and actively trying to avoid those behaviors is what makes you grow as a person. The fact that you are thinking you may be capable of this and want to avoid it is not shameful. In most cases, avoiding manipulation comes down to honesty and transparency.
It's quite difficult. It's like trying to resist eating a piece of cake depending on what type of person you are, it all comes down to self control and emotional maturity (yes, resisting the urge to play with people's emotions is emotional control 💀)
Unfortunately I borderline personality disorder so I manipulate a lot I can only catch it every once in awhile it's only because I'm feeling insecure and I don't want people to leave that also makes me feel like a bad person or the problem for the most part even though I acknowledge that I still do it
This video makes it sound like people always do these things maliciously, I believe some do, but often people will do these things without being fully aware of the effect their actions have
This is so eye opening! So glad to have come across this, it’s helpful to a couple of personal situations and I shared this to help my friends and family members experiencing this.
"The sweet sandwich". This is when someone pays you a very nice compliment, then asks you a favor, then ends with another compliment. The favor is often outrageous, something you would say no to if they had not just given you those compliments.
I have a friend who's falling for her partner's manipulation tactics, either that or is choosing to ignore them. It's so sad. It sucks when you care about someone and they're in a position like that. I'm beginning to pity them
People can be manipulative, sometimes even themselves The word "Manipulate" seems to describe a person having control or influence over someone. =even though it can be for a greater good...=
Manipulation is like a sword. The only difference is who wields it. Manipulation can be used in a variety of things, from things as bad as demanding sexual actions, to as righteous as trying to restore their mental health (although probably if you're going with the latter you might need different tricks.) They're vastly different but look the same. After all... Therapist The rapist
Convincing is about understanding each other and finding common ground results in both parties gain. Manipulation is about selfishly trying to control others. only the manipulator gain something. Ex. You don't have money for a Japan trip because you just recently bought a 2 cars and 1 house. Manipulation - If you don't go, the whole trip will be ruined. Other will not come because of you. We always come when you invite us. We will stop being your friends if you don't go. Sell your car if you really love us. Convincing - -Mr beast pays our Japan trip for FREE. Only bring yourself and some clothes. You can also bring your boyfriend/girlfriend. Yes or no? if you are busy it is okay.
you might be right. "Sorry I can't go. I don't have money to eat at mcdonalds. " Convincing = Mr beast will pay for our food transportation, and accomodation with 10,000 dollars of pocket money. you just tell us if you can come or not. Manipulation = If you don't eat burger with us. We will be sad and hurt. We are always there for you even in the hard times. We only meet once a year. Manipulation only benefits the manipulator. Convincing benefits everyone positively.
Tbh, looking at this, I think we use manipulation much more often than we think. At least in my case: I don't wanna manipulate people, but I realised I sometimes do some of these techniques without realising. I usually don't mean harm and think I'm just talking normally. But guess it still counts as manipulation
I just cut contact with a ex-friend. He had a thing that didn’t got mentioned: He was factual, calm, never used harsh words, but he still was be hurtful as heck. It’s the words he used. He could show our chat to someone, and I would look like the bad guy, because I was driven by emotion, while he used the emotion-off-setting. He also used my words against me and did a LOT of the things mentioned in the video like „It’s just a joke“ or denying. I’m finally done with him, but a good friend of mine has to deal with him for 3 years. He is scared that this guy could ruin his reputation by manipulating others, so he has to agree on everything he says and always be on his side. Can you give me an advice that could help my friend?
I was born and lived my first decades in a conservative town where all of these were everyday behavior people used on me. (I'm a punk queer.) I thought it was normal and people just are like that. Mind was blown when I moved out and met genuinely authentic and benevolent people.
My friends always tell me my singing is horrible, im excluded from any kareokes or singing activities with them. I tried talking to them thru text telling them it made me feel terrible, but i didnt get a response Im a trans male, and im rlly insecure about my high pitched voice so i force it to be lower, which sometimes makes my voice sound raspy and I developed a toxic connection to singing only to sing as low as possible. I guess this is why?
@@-.Elizabeth.ari.- I feel that! There may be times in life when your only choices are to be alone and hold out for someone who cares about you or settle for toxic “friends.” It’s a hard choice. My advice is to not underestimate the impact of emotional/mental abuse though. It’s possible to think you can handle it and just “let it slide off” but it can start to change how you feel about yourself and about other people so that when you do find better people, you don’t even know how to form a real friendship.
Not sure if these manipulations happen on a cognitive level. I'm sure if we're honest, we can attest to being guilty to some of these manipulations at different times. Adaptations at the emotional level that our selfish genes have concocted to achieve their goals. Great being aware of them so we can better one another but I'd try not to demonise ppl who exhibit such behaviours. Only human after all
Hoovering is not changing behavior toward the end of a relationship. It is trying to get back into someone's life after it has ended or especially after going no contact.
one i think should be mentioned, convincing u of the moral 'evil' of other people, making it so that u can only trust their word, since everyone else will just try to hurt ans lie to you
You forgot distraction. When I was being serious about something this woman was doing, she would suddenly look behind me and say "what is that?" to try to get me off the subject. And keep coming up with others things so I couldn't talk.
Is there a manipulation tactic where the manipulator treats the victim cold and distant after he(the victim) didn't accomplished a task? The manipulator may talk to the victim,but he may treat the victim poorly,being cold and distant,avoiding different subjects,doing things together etc..
These are all traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which my partner has and used to control all of my life for 4 hellous years. Had enough abuse and leaving!
I've done smear campaigns before, but normally it's to try and stop a bully from messing with my friends or myself. As for victimhood, it's completely unintentional. I don't wanna burden my closest friends with my bull, so if they've had enough or if I think I've crossed the line I'll apologise for it and make up for it by suggesting something creative and awesome to them. Like grinding xp in video games or see who can draw something the fastest, you get the idea.
Manapulitive people don't affect me because i just don't belive in them. Meaning i don't believe in anyone, so they can say what they want to say and i just ignore them
I'm so curious about manipulation. I am pushy with my friends sometimes, but only for situations that genuinely harm them like an overly abusive partner or substance abuse, or not seeking mental health services when mental health is getting really bad for them. Somehow two friends have said I am or seem manipulative. I wonder if they don't fully understand the meaning of the word? I can't imagine it's manipulative vs just appealing to their emotions when I say I'm worried and wish they'd not be shortening their lives and ignoring their suffering.
I fear both me and my ex had half of both on this list and I feel sick knowing now that I have used these but feel guilty and also noticed he did the same only I don’t know if he feels guilty
I know someone that knows a secret about me that I don’t want anyone to know, and if I don’t do something to their liking (not listening to them, arguing with them, etc.) they will expose it to everyone at my school and my social status would turn from your average person to complete loser. Pray that she never exposes me 🙏🙏
That sucks, I'm sorry. Living must be constantly stressful. But, I guess lessons are sometimes learned the hard way. I assume, assume, that you told them your secret? If so, you know you can't trust everyone now. It's at the very least one positive that came out of it.
Alternatively, give out your secret freely, so you can control the framing and release of it. Do not let your attacker know, unless they gain the leverage. Predict what your attacker will use against you, and incorporate that in your dissemination of the secret. When the inevitably do attack you, they'll be seen as vile because they are attacking such an honest and open individual. If it's a race to the bottom, get to there first.
Tbh if you stop caring about the things they're trying to hold over you, then they lose their power over you. But you have to come to a place within your mind that you're okay (even if it's uncomfortable) letting people see you make a mistake, even if it's a bad one. Owning your mistakes will make you more likable to people as you all grow and mature and you may even become a role model to someone else for it. Own your power, it really is up to you and not out of your hands to do this. It does take a little courage, so good luck my friend ❤️
Have you ever encountered any of the manipulation tactic mentioned in the video before?
if i remember corectly i lived like 3 or 4 in primary school but thanksfully i already had the trust of some adults so they knew i was right even if a groupe came saying i was wrong
Stove piping isn’t discussed too often although several manipulation tactics you’ve mentioned can apply to stove piping. Regardless it’s worth a discussion.
Duh maybe even employed em jus business nuffins personal thinking that was how things are done jus so commonplace but found oot hard way don't really like doing dat to others n having dat done to meh gotta b better methods than them lame tactics o wot o power trips marketing schemes scamming carrot o the stick dark artes seduction maybe plenty more possibly forgetting bouts jus so oot o the loop oot o practice become so socially awkward as alls hells maybe mine mind playing itty own awful tricks n mind games doth i truely needs to adds suffering onto to the crowds o wotta wild spimes we lives at these ood moments definitely feels ood sensation theys didn't have enuff spimes to properly include every tatic also are theys teasing meh sensation jus wanna plays along distraction o sorts idfk jus generation sum noise to fills a void o something ugh stills gotta lot o meh to sorts minzelf oot o so tysm furs assistance appreciate efforts don't wanna waste chances wot dice am i ood end o theys practical jokery ugh ood moods they finds meh ood thoughts so set loose from meh takes cares cuteness laters nya sojourneys
Definitely coersion.
I was manipulated into co-signing with someone on a car. I was told I wouldn’t have to pay a thing, but now I’m having to pay half of it.
This person has screwed me over a lot.
Every of these tactics in this vid is good for everyone. 👍
Your parents, friends, peers, acquaintance and authorities did the tactics to defend themselves.
Summary/ Overview:
0:26 1 Aggressive jokes
0:49 2 Anger & Fear
1:04 3 Blackmail
1:11 4 Blaming
1:34 5 Boundary Violation
1:41 6 Changing the subject
1:56 7 Coercion
2:08 8 Criticizing
2:23 9 Crowd Manipulation
2:38 10 Denial
3:00 11 Downplaying
3:08 12 Emotional blackmail
3:23 13 Fake moralization
3:53 14 Flattery
4:12 15 Gaslighting
4:23 15 Generalizing
4:42 16 Ghosting
4:55 17 Guilt tripping
5:12 18 Hoovering
5:33 19 Infatilization
5:44 20 Isolation
5:58 21 Love bombing
6:17 22 Lying
6:34 23 Passive aggression
6:44 24 Playing on insecurities
7:05 25 Projection
7:32 26 Shaming
7:52 27 Shifting the goalpost
8:11 28 Smear campaigns
8:22 29 Silent treatment
8:44 30 Threatening
9:03 31 Triangulation
9:26 32 Victimhood
Might have missed something, dunno.
thanks sm!
I wish timestamps like these were highlighted!! Put this one at the top, TYSM
Thankyou
Bruh, Humanity can be...scary
With so many tactics, it makes me wonder what the opposite of manipulation is.
1. Aggressive jokes
2. Anger & Fear
3. Blackmail
4. Blaming
5. Boundary Violation
6. Changing the subject
7. Coercion
8. Criticizing
9. Crowd Manipulation
The craziest thing to me is even when knowing some of these, you can still be manipulated. You can know it is happening, but some part of you brushes it off as if it doesn't mean anything. Why would it? I'm not worth anything, there's nothing for them to take. There is always something. I spent the last 12 years thinking there's something wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with me. The biggest eye opener is how desperate they'll try to meet you in person once you're gone. That's how they do it. In person manipulation to force snap decisions on the spot. Don't do it. Just stay away. Doesn't matter what they try to say or do. It will always reveal more about them than it reveals about you. As cliche as it sounds, ignoring them and moving on is the best way out.
Fun fact : I've just recently cut the bridges with a close friend because he manipulated me for almost 3 years now, and he used like a half of all the methods you explained 😂
Your video just confirmed me everything i've been thinking for months, glad to see I wasn't the one in the wrong all this time 😊
Same but w my ex im like I knew he was crazy but like legit
same they are emotionally exhausting. They only care about themselves.
@@Katniss0000cant be manipulated if you surgically remove all your emotions
Another one is called Bread-crumbing, where the manipulator may appear that they care one day, but completely flips the next day. They repeat this cycle to keep you in their circle. Hence the name, it’s like the manipulator is holding a big loaf of bread, but only gives you a trail of crumbs leading to it, instead of the whole loaf at once.
Well-put! ❤️
Oh wow literally my friend!! Thx :3
Abusers and narcissistic people do this a whole lot
ironic to get this on recommended because im being manipulated right now
Get out of that situation if you can.
Ye.,, like as in right now in this very moment.. gud luck man
Good thing you know
Does this video help you? It's important to be aware of the tactic. We hope you can get out of the situation
Good luck to you my guy, wish you the best
Timestamps
1). Aggressive jokes 0:25
2). Anger and fear 0:42
3). Blackmail 0:58
4). Blaming 1:09
5). Boundary violation 1:20
6). Changing the subject 1:39
7). Coercion 1:54
8). Criticizing 2:04
9). Crowd manipulation 2:19
10). Denial 2:36
11). Downplaying 2:52
12). Emotional blackmail 3:07
13). Fake moralization 3:17
14). Flattery 3:45
15). Gaslighting 3:55
16). Generalizing 4:14
17). Ghosting 4:39
18). Guilt tripping 4:55
19). Hoovering 5:10
20). Infantilization 5:32
21). Isolation 5:43
22). Love bombing 5:58
23). Lying 6:17
24). Passive aggression 6:33
25). Playing on insecurities 6:43
26). Projection 7:05
27). Shaming 7:32
28). Shifting the goalpost 7:51
29). Smear campaigns 8:11
30). Silent treatment 8:20
31). Threatening 8:43
32). Triangulation 9:02
33). Victimhood 9:25
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late.💙💙💙💙💙💙
Ghosting is the most painful of all.
Thanks for summarising all in one video.
Cheers !!
when you’re dealing with certain characters sometimes ghosting is the only way to get peace of mind
Yep, that's why you've gotta get used to needing just your and only yourself for any kind of approval
You back away, once they no longer feel any remorse for what they do, just entitlement. And they don't care about how it can detrimentally effect you. They can be extremely harmful in response to your mistakes, but proceeding to continue inflicting harm towards you, while you've already taken accountability, or changed, takes away the necessity towards their treatment towards you.
Its never a double-standard, if you've openly expressed your boundaries, and explained how they're distressing you, and the decide to continue to make those actions, and ignore how you feel, its more harmful to keep them in your circle.
And, we've all been guilty for at least one of these actions, that doesn't mean everyone is willing to take accountability for them. I am definitely not proud of my former self, but I'm happy enough that I no longer desire to be that person anymore.
Manipulation was ironically the only reason some of our middle-age ancestors even survived, that's probably why some people can do that kind of horrible thing subconciously without their knowledge
@@sheeplegend1324 There's different forms of manipulation, and it depends on the intent of them. Its not always objectively harmful, it can convince others to work harder. But it can also mislead them.
*People trying to craft a fictional villain: **_write that down, WRITE THAT DOWN!_*
People who want to become a villain... ° °
@@potatosalad68yea I’m planning so start my villain arc… don’t ask
@@SomeRandomUserOnlineDon’t be that kind of villain. Be a Doofenschmirz!
yeh, i've always thought that I was the part my mother wrote.
to yall saying ur gonna become a villain or whatever this isn't an anime ur just gonna make people hate you 💀💀
This channel is such a life saver!!!! Thanks
We are sooo happy to hear this! Have you ever encountered any of the tactics mentioned in the video?
@@Psych2gomy entire life 😂😂😂
My wife did 14 of these, I did 11
Some of them the same.
I think it's impossible not to manipulate to some extent, because we all want what's best for ourselves, even when we think it is what would be best for the people we know, love, and care about. But if they don't see/think/feel the same way, to them it's us manipulating them to our needs.
I mean, I can't control how my wife feels nor should I, but if she's sad I'd tell her; don't be sad.
There's a thin line between encouragement an manipulation.
I think it depends on the reason/motivation behind the actions/reactions. But in most cases you'll never know.
Manipulation is like a sword. Typical Manipulators are usually the ones with bad intention, Some others might have better intentions. It was never about the sword but who wielded it
Detecting these signs early on is crucial for our mental stability. I'm sure you could help a lot of people by raising awareness regarding these matters. Thank you for spreading these words out here!
Sometimes I lie. . .I don't even realize I'm manipulating people, then I'll realize later. "Oh shit, that was cunning, I was good. . .wait, maybe I shouldn't celebrate that"
NO WHY IS THIS TRUE
People are not perfect….to celebrate or half smile when you do something “not nice or a lil lie”. Is not so bad. In my opinion it’s called being “Human”. As long as you not doing it to be “ sinister”. But what do I know?
@@tinabrown9324 eh, I'd say you know more than most. People are so quick to assume or judge, I rolled a huge dice even talking about it in the comments
I lie pretty much everything I say bc my life is just so boring & uninteresting. Also lie to shut people up
@@IDKWHAT2NAMETHISS …to shut people up. lol, that’s funny 😄
I actually needed to hear this video.
Thank you so much.
Perfect timing
Yes, we humans can be quite devious, calculating, sinister, and unfortunately have so many other hideous and dark traits! Hopefully we can learn from our many experiences and actions, and end up on the right track eventually! We can only hope this comes to pass! Again, good luck out there! Take care!
don’t mind me just casually taking notes 📝 i’ll be immune 😤
I'm taking notes too for uh...
Uh ......
UHHHHHH
Thanks for preparing this! I have learned so many of these by watching hours of video and reading 100s of pages but it's excellent to have them all described succinctly in this video. I have saved it for future reference. It's a great resource to revisit regularly.
Wow.
This is FABULOUS.
You break it down so well.
Thank you for making this video.
Instead of counting the times I can see these tricks being used on me, I think its better for me to learn these more so to avoid doing it myself.
Wish you all well!
It's so important to learn more about it and try to avoid them in the future. Which of the tactics have you ever encountered by before?
@@Psych2go Usually tactics 1, 2, 4, 6, 8, 11, 15, 27, 30, and 32. Its quite the repetitive strategy in my opinion, some people just can't accept being wrong
@@Psych2go I appreciate the comment!
UA-cam deleted my previous reply so here I go again-
I've noticed tactics 1, 2, 4, 6, 8, 11, 15, 27, 30, and 32. This strategy, well, it gets repetitive, I guess some people just can't accept being wrong
I find it's not always a matter of knowing intent on the manipulator's part - many folks have very low levels of insight. They might be doing it out of habit or, commonly, a subconscious motivation, not knowing how to interact with someone else respectfully. And not really being aware of how deeply negative it is for their target.
That doesn't mean it's ok or that you should put up with it. But be prepared for shock and defensiveness if you confront it. And it can be tricky setting a firm boundary without demonizing the person when you understandably feel resentful and betrayed.
...if they do that that's called projection... is it not? I wouldn't let that affect me deeply, once a snake, always a snake
@@sheeplegend1324 Should you ever trust someone who's been manipulative? I generally don't, though I have manipulative family members who I've learned to keep an eye on. Trust but verify, as the old Russian proverb goes.
The way I see it, trust isn't based on good faith, or wishful thinking, or how you assume people behave. It's based on evidence. When someone consistently proves trustworthy, then I'll trust them. Until then it's, we'll see. People are not snakes, everyone is a mix of good and bad. Including you, including me.
Sometimes ghosting is necessary, not to manipulate, but because someone did a smear campaign; the only thing appropriate to do is just walk away and not say anything to manipulator and their flying monkeys. The manipulator wants to be engaged. Ghosting is self preservation in this situation.
I just realized how much I unintentionally manipulated people in the past💀
Bruh same like why was I so good at it 💀
And you will in the future. Let's say it out loud
We're only humans after all
Well u realized it and that awesome
Same and I hate this feeling of fear and guilt
So I spoke to this person for 3 months, and during the last month we called and texted almost everyday. Then one day out of nowhere she just stopped replying, and I haven't heard from her since. It's been years now.
It was her, not you
3 month rule; they show their real selves after that time period
@ChrisHoulihan Thats really good advice to give if you want the recipient to jump to conclusions and prevent their own self growth through analysing themselves and the situation lol
@@hardboiled2987 when you are ghosted, I’m not sure what you can take away from that other than you were trying to be with a terrible communicator and coward at best, catfisher at worst. Bullet dodged imo 👍. Reflecting any more than that would be taking it personally when there is nothing to base blaming yourself off of
pay attention and learn these, practice recognizing them (do not necessarily call people out on them unless you are 100% certain and in a position to do so without repercussions) - we are in an era of manipulation.
Manipulating people is glamorized and romanticized, and there is little if any backlash for a manipulator. More than ever, masses of human beings aspire to be manipulators and exploiters, NOT good, kind, honest people (they're looked down on as stupid, gullible prey).
Recognizing manipulation tactics can guide you in life against exploiters and lead you towards your next moves in life.
These are dark, lonely times. Human beings behave more akin to reptiles - cold-blooded, heartless, predatorial. When you find a real human being, cling to them with everything you have, protect and love tthem.
How can you avoid it? And how not to do it? How to say that you're being manipulative to others if you're not aware? I think I'm a manipulative person without knowing it 🤦
It’s natural to have learned a handful of manipulation tactics growing up. Recognizing when you are doing them and actively trying to avoid those behaviors is what makes you grow as a person. The fact that you are thinking you may be capable of this and want to avoid it is not shameful. In most cases, avoiding manipulation comes down to honesty and transparency.
It's quite difficult. It's like trying to resist eating a piece of cake depending on what type of person you are, it all comes down to self control and emotional maturity (yes, resisting the urge to play with people's emotions is emotional control 💀)
Unfortunately I borderline personality disorder so I manipulate a lot I can only catch it every once in awhile it's only because I'm feeling insecure and I don't want people to leave that also makes me feel like a bad person or the problem for the most part even though I acknowledge that I still do it
I've encountered most of these tactics over the years. People suck.
This video makes it sound like people always do these things maliciously, I believe some do, but often people will do these things without being fully aware of the effect their actions have
The accuracy 🎯
This is so eye opening! So glad to have come across this, it’s helpful to a couple of personal situations and I shared this to help my friends and family members experiencing this.
"The sweet sandwich". This is when someone pays you a very nice compliment, then asks you a favor, then ends with another compliment. The favor is often outrageous, something you would say no to if they had not just given you those compliments.
I call that tactic, "buttering you up," but yeah, same idea 👍
I love the “No” tactic
I love the bear tactic too
No is the quickest test for narciissism
Please do one on persuasion tactics next. Also, I love the examples in this video!
Wowww... That's a lot. One thing I really hate is hypocrisy and manipulation. Well, good to learn more about it so that I don't do it to others.
I’ve used all of these for years, before learning that it’s manipulative. I still use them, and hey, they’ve worked for years.
Hot and cold, one time they are behave that they are cared about you, next day you are complete stranger to them.
I have a friend who's falling for her partner's manipulation tactics, either that or is choosing to ignore them. It's so sad. It sucks when you care about someone and they're in a position like that. I'm beginning to pity them
People can be manipulative, sometimes even themselves
The word "Manipulate" seems to describe a person having control or influence over someone.
=even though it can be for a greater good...=
Manipulation is like a sword. The only difference is who wields it. Manipulation can be used in a variety of things, from things as bad as demanding sexual actions, to as righteous as trying to restore their mental health (although probably if you're going with the latter you might need different tricks.) They're vastly different but look the same. After all...
Therapist
The rapist
that's exactly what he's doing, hoovering! Thank you so much for this
Manipulation and convincing aren’t the same. Remember that.
Gaslighting at it's peak😂 NO
Nay, they are the same thing.
Convincing is about understanding each other and finding common ground results in both parties gain.
Manipulation is about selfishly trying to control others. only the manipulator gain something.
Ex.
You don't have money for a Japan trip because you just recently bought a 2 cars and 1 house.
Manipulation
- If you don't go, the whole trip will be ruined. Other will not come because of you. We always come when you invite us. We will stop being your friends if you don't go. Sell your car if you really love us.
Convincing -
-Mr beast pays our Japan trip for FREE. Only bring yourself and some clothes. You can also bring your boyfriend/girlfriend. Yes or no? if you are busy it is okay.
Imagine trying to use a manipulation tactic in a comment section of a video teaching people about manipulation tactics 💀
you might be right.
"Sorry I can't go. I don't have money to eat at mcdonalds. "
Convincing = Mr beast will pay for our food transportation, and accomodation with 10,000 dollars of pocket money. you just tell us if you can come or not.
Manipulation = If you don't eat burger with us. We will be sad and hurt. We are always there for you even in the hard times. We only meet once a year.
Manipulation only benefits the manipulator. Convincing benefits everyone positively.
Tbh, looking at this, I think we use manipulation much more often than we think. At least in my case: I don't wanna manipulate people, but I realised I sometimes do some of these techniques without realising. I usually don't mean harm and think I'm just talking normally. But guess it still counts as manipulation
The infantilization is basicaly stolas and blitzø relantionship
"it is so easy to lie" TT speak for yourself I'm horrible at lying even when it's needed
This is an important video. Thank you for making it.
Knowledge is power
I recently ended my friendship with my ex best friend…she did A LOT of these… I’m glad I finally realized the manipulation
I just cut contact with a ex-friend.
He had a thing that didn’t got mentioned: He was factual, calm, never used harsh words, but he still was be hurtful as heck. It’s the words he used. He could show our chat to someone, and I would look like the bad guy, because I was driven by emotion, while he used the emotion-off-setting.
He also used my words against me and did a LOT of the things mentioned in the video like „It’s just a joke“ or denying.
I’m finally done with him, but a good friend of mine has to deal with him for 3 years. He is scared that this guy could ruin his reputation by manipulating others, so he has to agree on everything he says and always be on his side.
Can you give me an advice that could help my friend?
There’s one more, playing victim. It disarms the real victim, making them helpless and exasperated
I was born and lived my first decades in a conservative town where all of these were everyday behavior people used on me. (I'm a punk queer.) I thought it was normal and people just are like that. Mind was blown when I moved out and met genuinely authentic and benevolent people.
My friends always tell me my singing is horrible, im excluded from any kareokes or singing activities with them. I tried talking to them thru text telling them it made me feel terrible, but i didnt get a response
Im a trans male, and im rlly insecure about my high pitched voice so i force it to be lower, which sometimes makes my voice sound raspy and I developed a toxic connection to singing only to sing as low as possible. I guess this is why?
maybe they are not your friends
@@lilacberry5667 maybe
Needed this, thank you
I can't believe my best friend accomplishes each one of these, literally EACH ONE
Probably not a friend - let alone a best friend ❤
@@MJ-gm7km I know, I know... I think I should try to get some new friends but that's not so easy
@@-.Elizabeth.ari.- I feel that! There may be times in life when your only choices are to be alone and hold out for someone who cares about you or settle for toxic “friends.” It’s a hard choice. My advice is to not underestimate the impact of emotional/mental abuse though. It’s possible to think you can handle it and just “let it slide off” but it can start to change how you feel about yourself and about other people so that when you do find better people, you don’t even know how to form a real friendship.
Not sure if these manipulations happen on a cognitive level. I'm sure if we're honest, we can attest to being guilty to some of these manipulations at different times. Adaptations at the emotional level that our selfish genes have concocted to achieve their goals. Great being aware of them so we can better one another but I'd try not to demonise ppl who exhibit such behaviours. Only human after all
It's time to master them all.
My brain woke the heck up hearing the projection one.
Thanks for the tutorial ☺️☺️
I don’t know if I should love them or hate them
Real
Is everything ok? :(
@@Psych2go me or the other guy
If me, yes
@@Psych2go no never
impressive video, thank you
These are all horrible to feel. Triangulation, gaslighting, whew.. they’re horrible!
this video helped me a lot
Hoovering is not changing behavior toward the end of a relationship. It is trying to get back into someone's life after it has ended or especially after going no contact.
My ex did 19 of these and I didn’t even notice 💀
one i think should be mentioned, convincing u of the moral 'evil' of other people, making it so that u can only trust their word, since everyone else will just try to hurt ans lie to you
Ghosting is terrifying,especially if you live alone.
Learning to be your own best companion is a ghoster’s kryptonite.
You forgot distraction. When I was being serious about something this woman was doing, she would suddenly look behind me and say "what is that?" to try to get me off the subject. And keep coming up with others things so I couldn't talk.
Exactly what i was looking for, thank you saved me :)
Another tactic I can think of is mirroring -- the manipulator will pretend to have a lot in common with you, just to gain your trust and exploit it.
Is there a manipulation tactic where the manipulator treats the victim cold and distant after he(the victim) didn't accomplished a task? The manipulator may talk to the victim,but he may treat the victim poorly,being cold and distant,avoiding different subjects,doing things together etc..
Sounds like passive aggression
@@MJ-gm7km Oh yeah💀
All very good. Hard to deal with some when it comes from a close family member u can't break up with😢
Sounds like any word or phrase is now considered manipulative, and even non-verbal cues are manipulative, but on us to learn how to steer the convo
Great clarification. Thanks
Sad to see some of these tactics are also being used in marketing and sales. Deceit is everywhere.
So reliable and so true
The narc I live with has threatened my life on numerous occasions 😢 But im still leaving! Cant take anymore abuse 😢
i had no idea manipulation went thos far A. because i dont manipulate others to make it in life. thanks for the video
Everybody: wow, that's so helpful, I will not be manipulated ever again!
The guy taking notes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Everyone wants to improve their shield. Very few wants to improve their sword. Hmmmmmmmm
These are all traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which my partner has and used to control all of my life for 4 hellous years. Had enough abuse and leaving!
Two years late, but thank you
holy shit i was a menace to society when i was younger
I've done smear campaigns before, but normally it's to try and stop a bully from messing with my friends or myself. As for victimhood, it's completely unintentional. I don't wanna burden my closest friends with my bull, so if they've had enough or if I think I've crossed the line I'll apologise for it and make up for it by suggesting something creative and awesome to them. Like grinding xp in video games or see who can draw something the fastest, you get the idea.
Manapulitive people don't affect me because i just don't belive in them. Meaning i don't believe in anyone, so they can say what they want to say and i just ignore them
I'm so curious about manipulation.
I am pushy with my friends sometimes, but only for situations that genuinely harm them like an overly abusive partner or substance abuse, or not seeking mental health services when mental health is getting really bad for them.
Somehow two friends have said I am or seem manipulative. I wonder if they don't fully understand the meaning of the word?
I can't imagine it's manipulative vs just appealing to their emotions when I say I'm worried and wish they'd not be shortening their lives and ignoring their suffering.
I should send this to my mom, grade A narcissistic manipulator
Yep, really annoying.
same here!
I am guilty of many of these things i feel. And i aspire to be better as a person 😢
Oof... sounds exactly like my ex-best friend.. a decade if gaslighting, and sadly losing the right friends, all fir the wrong one.
I fear both me and my ex had half of both on this list and I feel sick knowing now that I have used these but feel guilty and also noticed he did the same only I don’t know if he feels guilty
Thank you
I ghost people just because I am scared to talk to people
damn.. I might’ve just used all these tactics
Same reason I watched it, tho I know I should feel bad about it i just don’t
keep your head up guys
I know someone that knows a secret about me that I don’t want anyone to know, and if I don’t do something to their liking (not listening to them, arguing with them, etc.) they will expose it to everyone at my school and my social status would turn from your average person to complete loser. Pray that she never exposes me 🙏🙏
That sucks, I'm sorry. Living must be constantly stressful. But, I guess lessons are sometimes learned the hard way. I assume, assume, that you told them your secret? If so, you know you can't trust everyone now. It's at the very least one positive that came out of it.
Alternatively, give out your secret freely, so you can control the framing and release of it. Do not let your attacker know, unless they gain the leverage. Predict what your attacker will use against you, and incorporate that in your dissemination of the secret. When the inevitably do attack you, they'll be seen as vile because they are attacking such an honest and open individual. If it's a race to the bottom, get to there first.
Tbh if you stop caring about the things they're trying to hold over you, then they lose their power over you. But you have to come to a place within your mind that you're okay (even if it's uncomfortable) letting people see you make a mistake, even if it's a bad one. Owning your mistakes will make you more likable to people as you all grow and mature and you may even become a role model to someone else for it. Own your power, it really is up to you and not out of your hands to do this. It does take a little courage, so good luck my friend ❤️
Im guilty of silent treatment & love withdrawal. I didn’t know it was seen as manipulation tactics 🥺😩
Thanks I needed it 💔
Have been ghosted, gaslit, publicly ridiculed,broken in twice.
Living alone, old!
Literally just got done dealing with a manipulative girl who used me.
Our friend fell into manipulation and me my bro and my bff didn’t even try any of these!who has a friend who tries to fit in?
I have seen all of these behaviors. Great vid! I always just called them f'n A⚫'s
Thanks for interesting and informative video as always ❤❤❤
keep up the good work