Starting over and committing fully
Вставка
- Опубліковано 16 лип 2024
- Instagram / katharinaschneiderr
Saved spots docs.google.com/document/d/1d...
I record with a Canon G7X mark ii and edit in Final Cut Pro X
Music provided by Epidemic Sounds share.epidemicsound.com/n23faf
Timestamps
0:00 Bali belly life
1:43 I want to gain weight and recover
2:48 my identity
3:34 what I need to do
4:16 what am I going to do differently this time
4:52 All the things that motivates me
5:48 I need you in this
6:46 thank you - Розваги
It feels as if a huge burden has been taken off my shoulders when I share this video with you. I’m not gonna lie - yea I’m extremely nervous to post it. But I feel like it’s the right thing to do in order for me to fully move on, commit and take action. I’m so eternally thankful for your support regardless of how long you’ve been watching for. I cannot wait to make many more videos, document my life and continue to share bits and bobs which hopefully will be useful to some of you - or just entertaining and somewhat relatable 🫶🏼 I believe I’ve taken the right turn now and I will let you in on how it’s going. Thank you for your patience, understanding and overwhelming care. I literally have no words left.
I feel you. I have same situation. Big hug ❤
I'm so proud of you, always here for you and rooting for you always Katharina 💜💜💜💜 you are so strong and courageous and I definitely support you, you can do this 💕💕💕 hugs from Hollywood! xo
I’m sure everyone is very proud of you for stepping back and admitting to yourself that you have some work to do. Please don’t try to continue running /marathon training until you have recovered. You need to be strong in mind and body to do the kind of marathon running you want to do. The goal of running the Boston marathon is quite an impressive one, but perhaps you should set it for a date further in the future. Give yourself time to heal and be well. I love you and your videos, have been here since the first one and want to be watching them for many years to come. 💖
Thank you so much ❤️ I don’t have any other goal in mind at the moment than recovering fully. Then I’ll have all the time in the world to focus on the next big steps!
I am pleased to hear you being honest with yourself and also with us. There have been many times you have been in this position where it all hits you that you are not in the space where you want or need to be. My biggest advice to you is to recover for you... not for us... for you. Which means not rushing recovery and trying to get to this place where you can say you are fully recovered when you just aren't there yet (and that's absolutely ok!). I worry you will get strong again and then go back to marathon training and be back in this position again. Your recovery has to come first at all times. I truly hope you choose recovery for yourself this time and give it time... recovery... full recovery (not just gaining a small amount of weight and claiming you are recovered). Weight gain is only the begin. Truly wishing the best for you.
It was never my intention not to be honest with you. I just didn't realise it fully until now as I found honesty within myself - I hope you can see that. I only said I was recovered because I genuinely thought I was but I believe I just need to reach a proper, fully recovered place In order to actually know for sure what that feels like. I am on my way and the day I make it will be a good one. Thank you so much!
i’m happy ur starting to be real with us and yourself !!i hope u take great care katharina (: i hope u get to see u live a full life that makes u happy! keep working at it🤍so much love
It was never my intention not to be honest with you. I just didn't realise it fully until now as I found honesty within myself - I hope you can see that. Thank you so much!
Wow wow wow, what a video. I cannot express how proud of you and happy I am for you that you're taking a decision to get better mentally. This video is so raw and I think it speaks to a lot of us in our twenties who feel kinda lost. I think you need to be more indulgent and gentler with yourself. As you said you tend to have high expectations for yourself, and you don't understand why you are not able to "bounce back" the way you would have before. From a viewer perspective, it seems to me that you may experience a bit of a burnout. You can still hold yourself accountable, have motivation and determination while being kind to yourself. Take your time. There is no rush. You are still young and you have all your (I am sure WONDERFUL) life ahead of you. Recovery and mental health is never linear. Sometimes we fall. You have shared with us that you have fallen many times and got back up many times in the past. BY YOURSELF. Don't forget to rely on those around you. We are always here for you as viewers. I am cheering you on (from France), I believe in you, you've shown us what a brave, determinate, kind and selfless person you are. Sending much love your way and wishing you a speedy recovery with your Bali belly. xx
came for the running, stayed for the rawness.
This was very beautiful to read. I resonate with every, single thing you're saying and it feels as if you've taken the words out of my mouth (in a good way). I try to slow down more, relax and give myself the time I need. Thank you so much for this
@@troycambo Made my day to read this!
Thanks for this video Katharina, it's really hard, important, and also super helpful for myself (and probably others)! You're doing great and we will support you all the way 💜💜💜
Thank you for being with me
we all want what’s best for you!! proud of you for sharing and being vulnerable but remember you don’t owe any explanation to anyone, put yourself first if you need it ❤
Thank you so much Jenny
I haven't commented for a long time but, you know I'm always following your videos and liking and sharing where I can. You're a huge inspiration to so many of us, in so many ways and not just for your journey on becoming healthier either but in all aspects. Your transparency to us, the ups and downs you share it all, it's raw and relatable and the way you get your priorities straight is inspiring and something so many of us can grasp and take notes on, I'm sure. You know where you need the improvements to build on the things you're unhappy with, that makes you strong and not a failure. You will never be a failure, we are here for you 100% of the way, even if you feel like you've taken some steps backwards, sometimes it takes those backwards steps to help us step forward again, it helps us regain things that were hidden, but in plain sight. You are strong, stay positive sweet angel! We're all rooting for you, I know I always am. You've achieved so much!
Hugs and support from the UK xx
I'm literally lost for words. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I can't believe it
I’m so glad you made this video. Please be gentle with yourself. Shit happens! It’ll happen. Try and be patient with yourself xxxxxx
Means everything to me
Thank you for making this video! You are brave and I wish you all the best 💜
Thank you so much
I’m SO incredibly proud of you!!! 🩷🦋
Thank you so much
Thank you for your vulnerability! I've been recovering from a restrictive eating disorder for 8 years & I want to offer the idea that healing is not linear. I'm inspired by your determination to live a strong, active, adventurous, vibrant life! But at the same time it's okay to go through rough patches. Wishing you gentle compassion
This really made me smile. Thank you so much! Wishing you likewise
You’re doing great Katha!!
You’ve made so much progress already and it’s normal to feel stuck sometimes or maybe even like you’ve stepped back
But you’re so strong, you can do this!
Also you don’t owe your followers anything
You’re health is the most important right now
Keep going and always remember that you are amazing!
Thank you SO much. I find it hard to express how grateful I am
You are such a wonderful person, Katharina. I love your channel and your energy and I really admire your motivation and courage here. To your points in the video, we will always be patient and support you in this journey of change and healing. 🌸 -Liz from the US
Thank you so much. This made me really happy
Thanks for being so open and honest, you are so brave and strong and I know you can and will achieve the goals you have for yourself. Sending you love from LA! xo 💜
Thanks for listening!
You are so strong for being able to admit this to yourself, let alone 25k people on the Internet! I've been there too, up and down in weight and unable to snap out of a certain mentality. But nothing is permanent and change gets easier the more you do it. I believe in you 💛 the kitty is your cheerleader, so cute 🐱
Thank you so much. For me, it's also the mental part that's the strongest and hardest to change - but it gets easier and easier!
I enjoy watching your videos as you a fun interesting girl , ur not just ur ED.
Ed and exercise addictions are horrendous and the hardest fight of our lives so we all relapse and can’t move forward at times so ur not alone xx
Thank you! Let's do our best to keep pushing and make it past this
You inspired a lot of people. I just hope you can see yourself as we see you. You have achieve so many goals that you set yourself to, you are powerful enough to achieve to achieve this one to. If you need time to yourself I would totally understand
I'm so glad you say so. Thank you
proud of you girl ❤️
Take care of yourself❤ proud of you!
Thank you
Dear Kathrina you have and always will be a strong lady. Your courage to face and confirm what many of us have been thinking just shows how strong you are. Take the time you need to recover physically and mentally-we’ll all be here for you. Sending love and hugs always 🥰❤️❤️
Warms my heart so much to be reading this. Thank you Louise
You are doing amazing acknowledging your mental health, take it slow, be present, and enjoy your time with your boyfriend. The internet will always be here if you do choose to take a break. You already know what you have to do. :) we love you regardless
(New subscriber here who has been binging your videos)
Thank you for putting such a huge smile on my face
Oh no! I’m sorry you got Bali Belly. I hope you feel better soon. Please keep taking us with you on your journey. It’s a tough one but you will make it through. Just keep trying your best!
Thank you
Hey Katharina, please don’t put yourself under sooo much pressure. I’ve been following you for some years now and love your videos. I just wanted to say that you don’t owe us anything. It’s super brave and honest of you to take us with you on this (not always easy) journey, but you don’t owe us any excuses or explanations. If you need a break, that’s completely okay and we will support you even more, when you get back. Keep going and don’t be too hard on yourself. Recovery is sooo hard and you are very very strong. :)
I feel so honoured that you think of me, my videos and what I bring to you like this! Thank you so much
What a perfect person😭❤️ I don’t know why, but you always motivate me. After watching your videos I recall all my plans for life and have a great desire to make dreams come true.
Thank you 🙏🫀
❤️❤️❤️ made my day!!!
Everyone has times when they have to regroup and begin again. You are doing it in front of thousands of people. At least you realized what was happening and you decided to make changes. That is growth and progress. You are disappointed in yourself. I get it. We are our worst critic. Make smaller goals that are achievable. You will get your confidence back then. You are more than your failures. You are strong ,compassionate, smart,determined and a bright light in so many lives. You touch our hearts and we have become invested in your life. Chin up.
Thank you so much. I'll remind myself of this!!
Hey there Beautiful. You’ll soar, keep up the hard work. The only person you need to have approval from is yourself. I hope you start feeling better soon, and enjoy your travels ❤
Thank you so much
U are strong. Tks sharing your Journey. U need to rest and take care of yourself
Thank you for being a part of it - it means a lot to me!
Thank you for being so open. As a 40+ year old dude I had quite some girlfriends dealing with eating challenges. It was so difficult to witness from the outside as I couldn’t really do/fix or help. It something quite ungraspable, if that’s a word. Seeing someone you love so much struggle is hard. I therefor think that you being open about it, without coming across as a victim of anything is super beautiful. It will not only help other girls (and boys) in the same situation. But it also inspires me, even though I again feel that wish to be able to help. I can imagine your boyfriend feel the same, and also a bit powerless. You’re a beautiful soul, take good care of the body you got. 🙏🏼 Oh and shit, coming out of both ends, I know that very well. Lived in Bali for almost a year, so been there several times. 🙈 Sending love! ❤
Thank you for shedding some light on this from a very different perspective! I believe you're absolutely right - I've been told by family, friends an day boyfriend as well that it helps them as I try to make them understand what I'm going through. It's also super helpfull to me because I don't need to explain myself all the time. They just understand, support and stand by.
Thank you so much for this!!
Go Katharina ❤
What I've learnt from eating disorder recovery (ana), is that you need to be consistent. I know you already know this, but we were told to have a timeframe of 3-4 hours between eating. So in total 6-9 meals a day. I also struggle a lot with my weight (yoyo-effect), and eventually got kicked out of the treatment programme, because I could'nt gain weight quick enough. One thing that did kinda help me though was to document all the things I ate in a day + the time. Although this might be triggering, it gave me a perspective of how little I actually was eating - cause you know our minds like to trick us. I tend to lose quite a lot of weight when I'm travelling as well, especially backpacking, because you burn so much more when you're out and about in a foreign country, so the diary might be of help in this situation. Of course you do what feels right for you, and taking a break from working out sounds like the right decision - even though it might be tempting. I know you have a lot of friends and family that loves you and wants to help you - men hvis du nogensinde har brug for at rante om spiseforstyrrelse til én som 100% forstår dig, så kan du altid række ud! Jeg gik selv i behandling ude i Ballerup, og de er virkelig dygtige - helt anderledes og meget mere "humane" end børnespyk. (jeg hedder leastorm_ på insta hvis du nogensinde skulle have lyst til at skrive
I've been keeping track og my meals, food, counting, times, etc and everything like that for many years when I was hospitalised. it only made me feel more restricted and worse - but that's a personal experience and preference. But thank you for the tip
Love you katha, please never give up or feel ashamed of your dreams and goals because of the judgement of others❤ if deep down you know you want to be strong you should never feel ashamed to share your running ans fitness related goals, do what makes you happy and stay healthy always
Thank you SO much
Søde, seje og dejliste Katha du er så sej!!
Kæmpe kram til dig Emma
I think a break is a good thing, honestly sometimes we have goals but life doesn’t work out the way we plan. Whether or not you do the marathon next year, maybe it’s good to just relax and take it one day at a time. You have your whole life to do all the things you want and you can still do those things with after your break.
sometimes it’s better to release yourself from pressure of a goal and just focus on small steps right in front of you.
Exactly this! You can't recover with the same mindset that got you here in the first place.
Right now I'm not worrying about anything. Taking time off, relaxing, one day at a time and it already feels so much better :)
I don't have hope Katharina,is more my 30 years old and a job topic in my life with a lot of stress.
You got this!❤
I believe so too!
I think I can speak of behalf of all your subscribers that we will only be so incredibly happy to see you get better and develop a stronger body- that will ultimately enable you to do and express everything that is in your strong mind already! I have been in a similar situation as you are now, so I can resonate with how you feel and it really makes me care so much. Even though we might not know each other personally, I want you to know that there is a like-minded girl in Vienna always cheering you on. I am sending you lots of love, you got this
I'm glad to know that I'm not alone in this! Thank you so much
dear katha, for someone who has been following you for about a year and who has in the meantime struggled with severe anorexia and is still recovering when i am writing this, i want to send you all my love and strength because i totally get how hard it is to actually stick to weight gain when necessary without neglecting the other things that happen in life like travelling, hobbies or studying. sometimes the mind knows and we know we have to put on more weight in order to become stronger, healthier and live life to its fullest, but the body just doesn't follow because of all the stress and damage it has been put through, it gets lost and confused.
i really want to see you feel better, more confident, stronger and healthier, hoping we can sort of do it together :)
a lot of people ignorant of the context comment on this video and i'm so so sorry for that, please don't take comments at heart because sometimes people say harsh words without knowing the consequences it could have on oneself.
i believe in you, and really wish to see you run next years cph marathon with a healthy body and mind ❤
Thank you so much for sticking around this long! It's mind blowing to me. I am really proud of you to be fighting the same fight as I do - and as you say, let's do it together. It'll only be more motivation
I usually don't comment under your videos but I just want you to know that whatever you want to do, we'll be there supporting you.
Since de beginning of your channel, I've been following your journey and tbh, I totally recognise myself. Recovery is hard, and the path to it is far to be linear so don't worry.
Take your time, do what you think is the best for you and above all take care of you.
What's more, as you said, you are a human and sometimes it takes us more time to achieve our goals. Well, that's life and the best thing to do is not to get discouraged and bounce back (as you do).
So don't worry, you're doing perfectly.
And no pressure, we got you and we'll be supporting you whatever you do 🫶
Take care Katharina
Thank you
Wishing you all the best on this part of your journey!🤍
thank you!
I hope you can be patient with yourself.
Improving is not linear... it goes up and down and sometimes a bit more down than we wish for.
But as long as you try and try to have some grace for yourself you will get there.
I am very excited for you´re moving journey but i also love seeing a tiny bit of the world trough you´re vlogs ( I am a hardcore homebird so no travel for me )
Same as i love to see all the new foods you try. Love how you can try all the new things. I have ARFID so new foods are kinda difficult for me. I try but it takes a lot for me to do so. So i love seeing how others do try new things.
If you don't mind me asking. What would be a helpfull thing for the people here online watching you're vids to say / ask to you?
Is it ok if some of us are worried sometimes or is it triggering?
I am never sure what would be appropriate. Especially because it would be diffrent for everyone.
I know you will get there. It would be hard but look what you already did. You can be proud even if it now feels like a letdown.
I've always found it hard to be patient and take one thing at the time but I really try my best to do so now. I actually feel more relaxed and as if a huge amount of pressure has left my mind as I shared this video with you.
Personally, you're always welcome to ask. I believe that honesty and 'talking' about things is the only way to move forward. Yet alone if you need advice, you can ask me just like I feel like I can ask you in return. We are here together!
I'm glad you enjoy the content I share with you
dear katharina,
i know this is not how you are feeling at the moment but you can still be so proud of yourself. i struggled with an ed myself and had a difficult time because of the pressure i put on myself and the expectations i saw in others.
it is hard but please remember you don’t have to prove anything to anyone, especially not to us viewers. i can imagine that you are disappointed and that actually there are so many things you want to achieve, but life is not a race. it is more of a unique journey and even if right now it might not be as you imagined, your progress isn’t gone and you haven’t failed. you are more than yesterday’s mistakes. letting go of expectations and pressure is hard and so is healing, therefore i hope you’ll be more gentle with yourself. it is so important to give yourself the time, love and care you need to heal and you deserve it all.
i believe in you.
Thank you so much for putting these words here ❤️
When I learned something in life than that recovery is never linear. It's not a straight line up, but more of a wave going up and down. Maybe this helps, hearing that this is common? Anyways, take your time and take care of you. I really really hope you will feel better soon ❤
It’s a rollercoaster for sure!
Relax,take it easy 😃
I try my best to :)
I'm the kind of person who want to DO so many things, always coming up with new projects. I've so many friends, job, money, project IMPORTANT THINGS because of eating disorder. From 13 years old to know at 32 when I finally starting to notice it for REAL. So please, from someone who experience it, DON'T WAIST YOUR TIME. It is not a cliché and please, we all have one life. Make the most of it. No matter what it is. Be happy and enjoy your life. It the one thing you can do good on earth. For you and so for everybody around you. HAVE FUN!!!!
I'm already making the most of it but for now, I need to prioritise to heal in order to continue to. Otherwise I'll loose myself mentally along the way and burnout (again).
I believe in you
Thank you
I would really recommend seeing a dietitian or nutritionist when you finish your travels if you’re not already!
Unfortunately it's really expensive and I can't afford it. I hope to feel better by then and so far I'm relying on my friends, family, and my intuitions from the knowledge I'm gaining.
We stand together. You'll never walk alone.😁
Elsker når der kommer ny video
SAME
A fed and strong runner is a fast and healthy runner. Committing to weight gain is scary but I think you know that this is the only path forward to make sure you can live your fullest life. I would recommend following RDs on social media who focus on sports nutrition for women - for me, education (and daily reminders) on the consequences of undereating are keys to staying healthy.
Tnx so much for the recommendation! I'll definitely look it up - I'm really interested in the scientific aspect of the path I'm currently on and how I'll be able to combine it with my running. Hopefully make it beneficial! Thank you.
I hop you are able to take time away from social media and heal yourself, ED recovery is not linear and is a unique journey... I hope you are able to get professional help to heao yourself from within for your long term health
Are you in contact with a nutritionist while you’re traveling? It seems like it is important right now to have accountability from someone who has a full-picture perspective.
❤️ Best of luck on your recovery
I am not unfortunately. It's too expensive and I can't afford to start up right now. I did not think I was feeling this bad, mentally, before I left. It only hit me after I ran the marathon and my mind started to get to me again. So I'm trying my best with family, friends and the knowledge I'm gaining along with sharing this with you - which may have to be one of the greatest boosts of motivation!
hugs
Unfortunately not because I can't afford it. I get help from family, friends and scientific research (honestly. I'm hooked on it). And then I just push myself harder than I ever have and ignore outside negativity.
Thank you
Just let me get one thing straight I think of you as an adventurer as someone wanting to live connected to people Their body and different environments finding joy in running to get to understand themselves in relation to the environment around them never think you are a “girl wanting to put on weight’ that’s just a thing you are a girl known for being a whole lot of inspiration
thank you so much. This made my day!!!
💟💟💟
You said the same in one of your last video. We just want to see you gaining weight and life ❤
I've said something similar but this feels different to me. You'll see
I went through something similar. Perhaps you should start focusing less on your weight and more on how you feel? Like, if you want to eat more, eat more (or less). If you want to exercise more, exercise. If you feel tired, rest. You will live in this body for the rest of your life. You don't have to look a certain way to anyone. If the weight decreases every time, then perhaps this is the norm for your body?
I get what you’re saying but it’s so important to reach a healthy weight. I’ve been dipping toes between healthy and unhealthy weight for such a long time and I need to put my body back into the healthy zone in order for me to fully relax and recover.
Running is good but your health must come first.
cool cat
Running with good health must be the greatest then. I'll make it!
Philippians 4:6-7
“Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”
Jesus Christ died for our sins. We have ALL sinned and fallen short of God’s glory. We are all on the way to hell, but God Himself in His mercy atoned for our sins on the cross and all we need to do is accept His sacrifice. He loves you and He alone can save our souls!
matcha
Healing isnt linear. You got this
Thank you
Dietitian?Could help.
Can't afford it..
Forget the weight. Just concentrate on the health. Something like 70 % of the population is overweight and mostly sick. I lived on a minimum of 8,000 calories a day for two years and didn't gain weight. Thin people live longer. Try to stay positive and only concentrate on health.
This is so ignorant of her context. She was dangerously underweight with severe health consequences for a very long time and is saying that she has slid back into old ED patterns. She’s not saying she plans to gain weight until she is obese - she wants to get healthy. For a lot of women who starved themselves for years, weight gain is a necessity to fix their endocrine snd bone health.
you don't know what you're talking about
You shouldn't speak unless you are knowledgeable about eating disorders. It is a mental illness that has the highest morbidity rate of all the mental illnesses that exist.
Why are you lying for no reason? You're not special. You do not redefine science. If you eat 8000 calories, you will gain weight. If you do not know what you're talking about, don't speak!
Stick with cat videos and Tic Tok
to me, you are known for being a girl who doesn‘t stop fighting even though her struggles aren‘t leaving (the eating disorder being one of these, but only one of these, too). you are so much more that your struggles, and you are an incredible person, regardless of who you will turn out to be in the future. 💓🩷
I am so glad. So so SO glad that's what you think of me! Hugs
What you weigh is not who you are!!!!! You are strong! You are beautiful!!! People will judge/comment no matter what you weigh or where you are as far as recovery goes… follow your heart… do what you know is right… don’t let others get to you. There will be setbacks, don’t let them define you… keep pushing forward… you got this!!!! Focus on you and block out the sh- -!!!! 🩷
Thank you so much!! I've never been as motivated as I am right now. I'll smash it!