36 year old male electrician who found your content with the decluttering video. I don’t relate with about 70% of what you are talking about, but watching how you vibe with everyday life has an antidepressant effect, and I know I’m not the only one.
My late husband was my safe person. He also was the funniest human on the planet and the hardest I ever laughed was usually at my expense. His teasing was never mean, loaded, veiled… it was pure and silly and sarcastic and witty. He was the greatest human I have ever known and he made the best fun of me. It has do with your heart, where the teasing comes from. I knew without question that my husband thought the best of me- adored me and was unequivocally my safe person, 17 years since he died and I still can feel it. I will miss him forever.
💔 oh my gosh, your comment hurt me. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's nowhere near the same but I'm grieving the loss of my ex, who is the one who got away, and I'm finding it hard to keep the faith that I will meet someone who makes me feel the same, who I like as much ❤❤
I’m so glad I’m not the only one in a foodless apartment! I feel so silly for not feeding myself well but after spending all my energy adulting all day, I don’t have anything left at the end of the day. 🫠
...and even when you have kids you're going to want to eat by yourself too! 😄👍💕 Getting things done after-school is a mad dash before bedtime and eating in peace and quiet is required sometimes. 💕
Man can we normalize doing things by ourselves? I fkn love it. I feel like I can fully indulge without feeling like I’m inconveniencing people when I do shit solo.
@@Caroline_WinklerIf anything, when you're alone, people are more likely to approach and strike up conversation. Next thing you know, you're getting married.
Psychological safety is drastically underrated. Many of my closest friendships ended because of jokes revolving around my illness, so it’s really refreshing to hear someone think so deeply about the consequences of teasing.
Caroline I'm very obsessed with this video. It's relatable and cozy and intimate. I feel like a weirdo for feeling this (one-sided) connection with you. But I guess that that's just you being good at your job? Regardless, keep being you.
That’s the best thing I could hear :) I’ve had many one sided relationships with people I’ve never met, that were super comforting or influential so don’t feel crazy, I think that’s the point!❤ and I’m honored to hear it
Nothing wrong with telling the waiter you were planning on taking the rest home. Speaking as a happily married male, your partner should be your safe space. I've learned not to tease my wife, because she takes it very hard. She has learned to let me talk about something and try to work it out verbally (I'm not good at thinking quietly, which she can come up with an answer really quick). In other words, when we came together, we were speaking two languages, and we had to learn how to talk to each other safely. And that's why we've been together for 30 years next month.
Wow. I’m about to get married and that’s exactly us too; we spoke two different languages, from two different planets it felt like, but we really wanted to learn each others from the moment we met. Now it feels like we never didn’t speak the same one ❤ Ty so much for sharing this, seeing this really makes me so grateful I found him and excited to spend (god willing) 30+ years with him. 🥹🥹
You Sir are what most people should at least attempt to be irrespective of gender. Trying to understand your companion and to be able to find a neutral balance is all we can do really to keep it going.
This is the sweetest thing ever, and that you took the time to reply that way. I've been married 25 years and we also credit our success to being each other's safe space/soft landing. It's absolutely priceless, esp in today's chaotic world
The teasing thing is actually so important. I got out of a relationship that teased me all the time. It was always “just a joke” but when I left and found a man who treated me every second with respect and grace it made a huge difference in my life. It’s not that we don’t have fun with each other, it’s just only about the things that we have fully communicated about.
My fiancé told me he fell in love with me because I’ve always made him feel safe, which blew my mind because I always try to be accepting and safe for everyone in my life. So what you said at the end about wanting to be your boyfriend’s safe person is probably one of the sweetest things I’ve ever heard someone say because I’ve realized how important being that person for someone else (romantic relationship or otherwise) can be. Wishing you all the happiness in this relationship and in life 🩷
"I want to be his safe person" is one of the sweetest and cutest things I have ever heard. I'm single now, but this knowledge is something I will keep forever. Thanks again Caroline
That would be so good, I love sarcastic people and put two of them together, I’m I’m here for it. However, I’m worried about Paige’s head. I think she should go to the doctor. She’s constantly rubbing and scratching her scalp so much so I can hardly watch her, I think she needs to get that checked.
evening/night time is my FAVORITE time of day and nobody ever films videos in the nighttime so this feels so cozy and warm and like a comfy friend. big fan of “bad lighting” and filming in the night
My fiance and i have been through some tough times together. Now whenever things around us gets tense we say to each other, 'I'm on your side.' Best relationship ever because we consciously take care of each other.
My partner and I have been together nearly 2 decades now (gosh!), I came close to death twice in that time, and when you go through some heavy crap together it gives you serious perspective. Our code phrase when things get tense is "I'm having a hard time." It's shorthand for "I know I'm being annoying/impossible/etc. but I am overwhelmed right now and I am aware of this and I will do better in a bit, and just need some space and some grace." I don't remember how we agreed on that phrase, but once we did, it made our lives so much easier. And the response is always "I get it, I love you." Which is code for, essentially, "I'm on your side, I understand, we'll work it out." And we give some space and some grace, and we move forward, and talk about stuff when things are calm, if it needs talking about. Having a partner who is willing to talk about hard stuff, willing to consider your better nature and overlook the grumpy missteps, and is willing to do the work to fix the problems and truly move on when things are resolved... and also BEING that partner... it's not always easy, but it's good.
You killed me with the end monologue, my heart was broken and mended simultaneously. I think you can do it Caroline. I had the same issue with sarcasm in my family. At some point I said no, actually fun at someone else's expense is not funny. I may be sensitive about it, but I'm also at peace so, I win.
My mother never knew how to have fun....except at my expense. Growing up, I never understood why life had to be so miserable all the time...she behaved as though that was how life was meant to be. Because jokes in childhood were at my expense, I suppose I became desensitized to them. No joke directed at me one by others in my adult life could ever possibly wound me. Rather, little jokes pointing out my quirks make me feel seen, acknowledged and understood. The thing is, jokes should never be sarcastic or cynical or intended to wound. Rather, the stuff to joke about is the stuff your partner knows you love them for - like their athletic prowess or their meticulously manicured lawn that’s the pride of the neighborhood. And the humor should derive from the person’s exceptional gift or skill - and be by way of bragging or complimenting them. A good example would be if a wife said, “Honey PLEASE let the neighbors know before you power-wash the windows again! People are at risk of blindness come sunset from the rays bouncing off our house...”
My life is a smelly pile of dog shit right now and that is okay because I do my silly little tasks and then I watch your videos and your videos make me feel happy to be alive so thank you for carrying some of my therapist's weight
At 69, I relate to you in every way. How is that possible? It just is. I live alone, am divorced with a cat named David. I'm retired from FT work but I consult to friends in their businesses and nonprofits. I only do fun work that helps people enjoy their jobs. (Positive psychology) I am in a new relationship too. I waited a l o n g time to meet this man and don't want to screw it up. So I talk to him about my concerns and vice versa. So far this works. At 70 he constantly surprises me. It's good. Loved this vlog. I will watch it again. ❤ ps. Love Paige too!
I so loved what you said at the end. My ex-husband was really funny, and teasing was his favorite thing. Living with him was a nonstop barrage of microaggressions disguised as jokes. I feel such calm and comfort these days to be free of that. So I super applaud your idea of being your boyfriend's ally and safe harbor instead.
Loved your thought at the end. And, having run the course of "head-over-heels in love" to "annoyed-as-shit that I'm reminding you for the 87th time that plastic bags don't go in the recycling bin," I've been humbled by my marriage repeatedly revealing how short I fall of the loving partner I imagined myself to be. It is a challenge to choose to be unselfish in perpetuity for another person...especially x number of years down the line, when the freshness of new love has faded. I guess what I'm saying is I agree with your goal of being the "safe person" for your partner, and at the same time, what a lifelong challenge to one's nature!! A good challenge.
Your relationship comments at the end got me reflecting. My husband and I are pretty sarcastic people, but we have never gotten into a habit of teasing one another. I remember at a certain point in the beginning consciously choosing not to disrespect him even in a joking way. I’m blessed to have found the right person who has that mutual respect for me, and it sets our relationship apart from every other relationship I have with other friends and family members. It really is like a sweet and safe place. I’m more traditional in that I believe men require respect and women need to feel love (obviously we both need both), but when I resolved to always respect my boyfriend (now husband), he has always given me the love I needed in return and now we have a very easy but solid bond.
My husband has ADHD and it's WILD how similar your daily habits are. I've found a lot of your organization tips helpful for our house. Also he has trouble with silence and being alone, has never lived alone, and seeing you tackle that in a healthy way is really impressive.
Mid thirties, ten years into marriage and those last words really hit hard. Something to work back towards. Thanks for this beautiful video and your vulnerability.
Regarding your night thoughts on teasing - I voiced the same feelings to my therapist a few weeks ago. Her response: often it’s not necessarily the teasing that hurts someone, but the motivation behind the teasing that’s felt. When your teasing comes from a truly lighthearted place and is done to share or show love, the receiver usually absorbs that energy. But when you’re teasing to passive aggressively communicate something bothering you, or as a defense mechanism (feeling insecure, rejected, embarrassed, etc), it’s likely going to translate as a hostile act to the receiver, so it’s best to pull the brakes on the joke at that point and reflect on what triggered the urge to say it instead. Anyway, that resonated and has helped me in those moments, so thought I’d share. You’re killing it at this life shit regardless. Keep being you.❤
^ THIS! This is really interesting because I can actually *feel* the intention behind the words, even when I can't rationally think about in the moment! Thanks for your sharing your thoughts! ✨️
I love that you came to the conclusion about not teasing your significant other. My husband and I made the decision not to be sarcastic with each other early on, and I think it’s been the best thing for our relationship. I am typically a pretty sarcastic person, and he can be as well but we drew that line with each other and there has been so much more respect and comfort between each other.
I love hanging out with you being yourself BUT ALSO GIRL get your dryer vent checked out! if it's plugged up the airflow isn't there and dryer stuff stays damp and it's also a fire hazard 😭
@@Caroline_Winkleryoure actually supposed to rinse your dryer vent every few months to get rid of buildup from dryer sheets and fabric softener. This can impede drying and contribute to fire hazard.
Just got home, poured myself a glass of wine, started dinner..... Let's see if there's anything good on UA-cam.... I literally said YES out loud in an empty house!!! I haven't even watched it yet, but you just made my day. Love your videos.
@@Caroline_Winkler so the bit that rests between your thumb and forefinger should be closer to the fat end of the sticks - around a couple of inches from the fat end. If only the internet had some sort of video medium so that I could show you. Damn it! :)
I think being a safe person for our loved ones is an underrated and admirable quality. When my niece was born, people would say “oh are you going to be the fun aunt?” And I would reply that I’d rather be the safe aunt. I want to be a person that the kids in my life trust and feel safe coming to when they need me. Same thing with the adults in my life. Being fun can seem easy and exciting. Being safe is a deeper more meaningful connection. Just some thoughts. Thank you for being you Caroline:
You make me feel like it’s okay to be ME. Seeing someone with a similar energy, similar anxiety, similar though patterns, similar silliness, similar loves - your videos help me, a lot. Thank you :)
Hi Caroline I’m more of a quiet watcher but I just have to say I literally love you. You’re like the big sister I never had (I’m a big sister myself) and I just know I would vibe so hard with you. You’re extremely funny, intelligent, wise, clever, witty I could go on but you’re just a phenomenal woman and I hope you know that. From a girl to a girl I’m so glad we’re here and you’re such an inspiration to me in many ways and I hope I’ll be as cool as you one day. Also every time I watch your videos I literally feel so happy and proud to be a woman, (as I should every day) but your videos are just kind of a reminder. Thank you for that✨💗
I feel all of these things too and I never know how to write it in a comment. But yes. Caroline, thank you for being our big sister… And no I’m not crying rn Youre crying Shut up
I love the safe person idea. My friend was a teaser and it got to the point that I didn't want to tell her things anymore even though I loved her so much, because I knew she would tease me. It pushed us apart and we are not in a good place right now. I hope we can repair things soon.
I never really understood the teasing thing especially when it’s constant. Like if the person I’m talking to isn’t monitoring how it makes me feel and I’m getting hurt by it, then I’m out. I’m probably overly sensitive but I just don’t get it.
@@Bloo-J I am the type that can laugh at myself over everything. So I found it hilarious at first, but over time it got to be too much. Especially when she exaggerated in front of all my other friends, which was embarrassing. I however was bad about communicating when it got that way, I just withdrew instead of being honest with her.
Wanting to be your partner's safe person is a very mature goal. The desire to be kind in your closest relationships can only bring positive results. Great thought. May we all strive for that. Thank you, Caroline, for sharing your most candid thoughts and feelings.
Caroline, I’m not in the demo. I’m a 42 year old interior designer that’s celebrating an 18th wedding anniversary this weekend. BUT, I think if I had taken a different path my live may have looked similar yours in that parallel universe. I’m reminded of a time one of my best friends at the time we’re sitting at a diner, hungover, laughing and eating breakfast when a woman approached us and said she so enjoyed watching us…that she reminded her of herself and a good friend at our age. You’re doing that for me and it’s comfort food for me. So thank you. Carry on. Oh, and I’m not in the camp that thinks we’re watching your slow decline into despair. On the contrary - I fear you will move on into total fulfillment, no longer create content for us and leave a small but not insignificant void on UA-cam. Love ya!
When you want to be with someone for long term, you can’t go wrong with simple kindness and just an easy fun camaraderie that doesn’t come with arrows. Even though you’re not sure how to define it, the right feeling is there, and it’s nice. ❤
Caroline, it's not really solo dining when you bring along your thousands of followers! It was great hanging out with you. I hope that you will take your sisters' advice so that you can fully enjoy this new relationship. Thank you for providing a safe (and fun) space for so many of us.
Everything you said about being a safe person was so spot on. In friendships and relationships, the thing that I have learned is you will never regret choosing to be the kind one. Even when people are unkind to you, if you choose to be the safe place, you will always feel better at the end of the day knowing you did the right thing. Teasing can be fun, sure. But it never feels as good as just being kind.
I think it's a beautiful thing to want to be someone's safe person - it feels like it's a strong sign of being healed - that your cup is full - just make sure it's reciprocated - and practice being that for yourself - editing self-talk, self-parenting - all that good stuff - for what it's worth, your channel is a safe place for us 💙
I'd been having a bit of an emotional day, all up in my feelings, when I sat down to watch this and now I feel all soothed and cozy like I just spent time with a friend. Thanks Caroline you are a star!
Truly obsessed with this video - the most accurate depiction of what we do while living alone in the evenings. Truly random, chaotic, and yet delightful - doing what you want when you want how you want. But the end - beautiful reflections. Thank you ❤
Glennon Doyle once wrote something to the effect of *stopping antidepressants because you feel better is akin to standing in the middle of a rainstorm with an umbrella over your head and thinking oh I don't need this umbrella, I'm dry.*. I think of this when I start considering that I don't need to go to therapy because I'm felling ok.
Hi Caroline: thanks for bringing us along with you. I’m scared to back to therapy too, but I had my first consult last week and now I’ve committed to 6 weeks. I think it’s part of “being my own Mother” as I’ve been doing a lot of adult grown up stuff lately to take care of myself (mamogram, etc) and none of these things give me an immediate payoff, so I have to remind myself that it is a long term investment.
I can picture you taking a deep breath & getting ready to come in looking nonchalant during that long pause of the fake entrance 🤣 I totally get what you mean by not wanting to tease a lot anymore because I come from a shit talking family. It’s almost like a camaraderie and it’s fun being witty. I have never had a safe person and I don’t think I’ve ever been someone safe person so the thought of being much more softer sounds so nice.
"that's too much food for you" 🤣 & Caroline, you are way too cool! It's been so much fun "hanging" out with you! & I appreciate your wanting to be "someone's safe person." How beautiful is that! 💖 Loved this video! 😘
Or any blog where they're hiking and it's shot after shot of them walking off into the distance down the path. But you know they have to come running back to get the camera. I'm like, dang, that's a lot of exercise.
As a 34 year old lady with no kids, who has previously pursued acting, tried coding, did UA-cam (got to 4k subs and my ex encouraged me to quit), I very much so enjoy your content as I relate to so much about you. I also admire you, dawg! I’m Scottish and I live in England and I got such a bargain at a car boot sale recently, an oak writing bureau, hallelujah! And it only cost me 5 quid!!! (I actually felt guilty taking it for so cheap!) anyhoo, I’m rambling. My point is, you’re the best.
You are so smart, and I loved what you spoke of at the end: being someones safe person. That resonates and is sincere beyond!! You really have been like the sister I never had and help me organize my new loft, think about boys...and help in all angles of life! I soooo enjoy solo dining, and once went to Disneyland (my aunt & uncle dropped me off) it was super healing in some strange way. Like I got to celebrate myself and do anything~ Caroline, thank you for such laughs, cries and strides. Thank you in a really Pivotal part of my life, you've been magically helpful!
Oh my god, a solo trip to Disneyland sounds incredibly healing. The freedom. I don't think I would have ever considered it before. I'm glad I read your comment. 😊
it was vastly helpful...I mean really like moments of pure bliss! I felt like a kid again and so fun running to rides and single rider line joy!! Have fun when you go @@dottiebowles
I found your channel just a couple of months ago. I'm already a different person from them. I love growth/self improvement and it really is a never ending journey. Hearing your prespective and your growth has sparked a new stage of my own. Your ramblings on how you think you can grow, what you learn, and what you experience have more of an impact than you know. It may not feel like it, but you have a major impact on people's lives just by being you. I can come to your channel when I need a new perspective, when I want to feel safe and comfort. You've built a kind and accepting environment and relationship with your audience. It's helping me be more kind and accepting to myself and others.
Caroline, questioning is how we learn. Good job. Therapy is for when you are questioning your own patterns. If you are at the point where you are not able to answer your own questions, or formulate the right questions...I applaud your willingness to seek therapy. I also think you are wise to take breaks as needed. Good luck. Thanks for spending your solo evening with us. Always fun.
I was so relieved when you mentioned therapy because leading up to that moment I was like, I'm not sure if my friend Caroline is doing ok. I appreciate you. All of your facets and your truth sharing ❤
yes yes YES on limiting teasing! I know for some people it’s how they show affection, but it makes me so tense! I dated someone who teased, and even though the content was pretty innocuous, it really got to me. I felt like some of it was airing real grievances under the guise of joking, and I felt like I always had to be on my guard in exactly the space where I should feel the safest to be vulnerable. I worried that I was being way too sensitive - maybe it was rejection sensitive dysphoria; it sounded like our families handled teasing differently, etc. But then it turned out when I tried to spar back a little that he could dish it out but really couldn’t take it, so…the deal is just that you get to be a little bit mean to me all the time and I can’t protest or tease you back? No thank you. I was alarmed at first when you said, “always be on his team, no matter what,” because that ride or die mentality can sometimes cause people to allow or excuse truly terrible behavior. But once I got what you meant I found it so reassuring. You can still say “Hey, that’s really not okay” or “To be honest it sounds like you were in the wrong and need to apologize” if the situation calls for it. And it actually might be extra powerful because they’ll know it’s not part of barrage of small, everyday barbs, it’s a real concern coming from someone who they know has their back and is safe.
Love your thoughts about teasing, for me it's kind of losing trust, losing the "safe space". I couldn't put it into words, but you did it. Thank you for being yourself, it's a truly safe space 😊
It ain't easy to make something this good look easy. Thank you, UA-cam, for making it possible to meet this woman. In a virtual way, of course. And thank you. 🐾
Your whole thought process on being/staying someone’s safe place really gave me something to think about. There’s something so sweet and vulnerable about re-considering our past patterns with the hope of creating more positive things in the present & future. I think the seed of contemplation you’re watering there will grow something beautiful.
The idea of being someone's "safe person" by never teasing them is honestly such a crazy thought to me. Like why have I never thought of this? It's something I'd love to try for my partner and closest friends. To just try to be the safe person that will never tease them, never judge them, always be on their team. I love that. Thanks, Caroline.
This video felt so calming and cozy (as most of your videos are). I'm moving to DC in less than a week and this helped me so much with my moving anxiety. Looking forward to hopefully being comfortable on my own. 💗
My past relationship began because we constantly argued and teased each other, and I realized after a while that I loved friends who could reciprocally tease, but I want my partner to be my safe person who will respect me and who I'll always feel like will be on my side. This situation did improve during that relationship, but hoping that in the next I won't have to ask for it multiple times. At some point, you start to believe the 'jokes'.
I love your peek-a-boo pictures, every space needs an enigma or two. Also, I am getting a hit of major mom energy seeing the candles/open flames on your stacks of books, and particularly a couple of open flames right behind your chair. I mean, you do you, you know your space, etc., but the mom in me is imploring you to consider fire safety. I also say this because a good friend of mine got horrific third degree burns over a third of her body from being unwittingly too close to a similar candle setup to yours (in her own home), and ended up needing many surgeries. It's no joke.
Okay yesssss per your confession. When I started dating my husband, I thought I was soooo healed from my previous relationship. But it took me being in a new one to start experiencing triggers…. Which inevitably lead me to therapy! The only way I could fully heal from all the emotional trauma was to be in a healthy relationship and experience the triggers so that I could diagnose them and actually heal. My husband would do nothing wrong and I would panic that he was going to do something that resembled my ex! Horrifying! Anyways yay therapy and healthy relationships and patient partners. 🥰
I think being in relationship is healing some part of you and making you softer and more vulnerable. I like the idea of not teasing so much. I was bullied a lot at home growing up and at school so sarcasm and teasing really hurt me. I think there’s something under it when someone does it too much. I think you’re tuning into that. That’s good. Curious to hear more about what you learn when oh go back to therapy and from being in the relationship more. I’m the same way I get so nervous in relationships. Hearing about this is also healing for me. Thnx Caroline for showing up as you. You are loved 🥰
I relate to the last bit. My boyfriend needs me to be his safe place, but I'm often the skeptical, neutral observer who is reluctant to automatically take his side. I also tease him for his earnestness. I don't know why I'm so adamant about not giving that up.
It's about vulnerability, really. If you are earnest you are vulnerable because you're showing people exactly who you are all the time. There's no walls. Same with taking someone's side, you're declaring someone to the world that you can't take back and that's vulnerable. If you've been hurt before, it's understandable you don't want to feel that way - it's scary! But it's also part of life. I hope you can find your way to it because it's really quite nice when you do, from a fellow knee-jerk-walls-up person who's also learning still how to be open with the people I love.
Teasing someone, at its core, is just showing off how clever you are. The better your self-esteem gets, the less you want to tease others because you no longer value showing off at the risk of making them lose confidence. I probably could've worded that better, but I have been awake many hours :)
I saw someone comment on Paige's channel that you had the same vibe and that you would be a great duo and I couldn't agree more, so glad to know that something is coming!
I love love this video!! I am engaged and happily sharing a home with my fiance, and I love watching your videos because I reminiscence on the time I used to live alone. There's beauty in sharing your space and your things with someone, but also in being alone and enjoying things by yourself. I think your thoughts about being your partner's safe person is exactly what I strive to be for my fiance and why we've been together 10 years since high school. We love to tease each other playfully every now and then, but it never has a hint of judgment or shade. There's a level of respect we both have for each other that's very sacred and I value very much. I'm proud of you for seeing the importance of that trust and safety!!
i've been having hard times lately and for the last two weeks, i've been watching your videos whenever i feel bad and lonely. and here i feel safe. i feel understood. you've become my safe person caroline, thank you soooo much!
Caroline thank you for all you do!! ☺️😍🥰 13:50 the hose DOES in fact require a healthy micro biome-trust me; I know. And I get it-I do-the scanning for the other shoe to fall-BUT-try to stop-& try to trust. It hurts but it’s so worth it when it does work out (married x 2 decades)-I truly pray all people experience a love which is grown into slowly and becomes far better as time goes by than during the obsessive glued together phase! I will continue to pray for you!!! And YES! Be his safe person Girl!!! You’re the BEST-we all love ya!!
This is definitely my favourite one of your videos. AND YOUR HOME AT NIGHT IS THE BEST THING EVER. the lighting is not bad at all, it’s so warm and cozy and you look so pretty, more night vlogs please. I live for this. thank you love you♥️
Such a lovely, cozy video! What you said about being someone's safe person has really made me think about how I approach being 'playful' with the people around me. Thank you, as always!
I think that being on someone’s side is an amazing gift-it’s the covenant at the heart of all kinds of good relationships. I’m rooting for you and you’re rooting for me. Being safe for someone doesn’t mean leaving your own convictions and boundaries outside, but learning how to assert the important things constructively (I’m rooting for you, and you for me) instead of only joking about the unimportant things. It’s work, lady! It’s like wallpapering your bathroom…again and again. LOL. Caroline, I’m rooting for you to get that kind of faithfulness back from the people you invest it in! Thanks for sharing your thoughts💜
I laughed and then got mad a little that the waiter wouldn't let you order that third order. What the heck - hasn't he heard about "doggy bags"..... Also - I knew you needed food at home - because you only had peanut butter (and corn flakes)... :)
I've had similar experiences eating alone as a woman, where I'm rushed, ignored or receive patronizing comments. It doesn't happen all the time though.
I know I'm showing my age here, but your comment made me think of an episode of That Girl. Way too many people showed up for her party, so she was reduced to making peanut butter and cornflake appetizers. P.s. they're pretty good.
This may be my favorite video of yours. I haven’t seen them all but I’ve been following you for a while. Thanks for sharing so much of your authentic self.
Hi Caroline, while watching this I felt what you were saying on a deep level - especially when you said you wanted to be everybody's safe person. Thank you for being you.
Hey Caroline! In regards to your dryer- the problem may be that your dryer vent needs to be cleaned out (not the lint trap but the tube that vents to the outside). You’ll probably need to contact your landlord about getting that cleaned out😊
Soooo...I just wanted to tell you... My hubby and I have been married for 22 years! (I know) we tease each other ALL THE TIME... we are also 100% each other's safe person. We tell people that sarcasm is our love language. All that to say....TOTALLY doable. You ARE onto something Caroline ! 😃💖
Caroline, I could watch your videos all day! You’re so funny, irreverent and serious all at the same time. I’m probably way too old to be watching (I grew up listening to Billy Joel)you but I found your vlogs last year after my son died suddenly, it was surreal and I also sought therapy. I watch a lot of different vlogs on UA-cam but your videos gave me a reason to laugh again. Thank you so much for the great content and btw, you’re family is so great, talented and funny! Your dad’s magic tricks are so good. ❤❤❤ PS-I wish I had a stoop! And I think you need a small dog or cat? I love them all! Take care, Barb
Your vlogs are my favorite content. High key relate to not wanting to tease people anymore. A lesson I’ve learned as I’ve grown up and realized it’s not always helpful or necessary to important relationships.
I'm taking my first solo trip soon and I was just talking about feeling nervous about eating out alone while there, so this was perfect timing. You're so right, no need to feel weird about it, and order ALL the food!
I melted at the end of the video when you said that you always want to be on your partner's side & be his safe person!!! That is soooo sweet!!! It is very hard for me to be on my husband's side when it comes to parenting. I don't like that about myself. Perhaps it's time to reevaluate the way I treat my second half. Thank you for the reminder, Caroline!!! Also about doing things solo. One thing my husband & I do is we sleep in different rooms! I love it! He snores & it used to affect my sleep & his, too, because I'd have to wake him up to tell him that he is snoring... Now I sleep like a log & he is not bugged by me! :)) We "visit" each other when we feel like it! :)) It's great! Much love from Ukraine!
Okay woah I have had that exact thought specifically about romantic relationships / partners & not wanting to tease them. I feel like the opportunity presents itself and I’d rather have them say the “dumb” thing or sing and dance with zero fear of looking silly. I haven’t thought about that in a while…
Honestly you are my safe person. I’ll never know you in person and I may always just watch you through the screen of my phone and I’m okay with that. You’re videos bring me a source of dopamine no influencer or UA-camr or anything like that has before. If I feel stressed or need motivation I always find your channel. I’m 19 and living in my own apartment and sometimes it’s just a lot for me but your wisdom and personality always makes me feel better. ❤
There are really only certain lighthearted things I'll lightly tease people about, because I think most people confuse bullying with teasing 🤷🏻♀️ you're being conscious of how you're going into this, and that shows growth. You're doing great 💝
36 year old male electrician who found your content with the decluttering video. I don’t relate with about 70% of what you are talking about, but watching how you vibe with everyday life has an antidepressant effect, and I know I’m not the only one.
100% agree
What IBEW are you with?
~N
Lol! this is so funny as someone hoping to get into my local IBEW apprenticeship
one of the nicest things you could inject into my day. idk how it works, but i am honored to hear it :)
is it the feet😂 i kid i kid hahaha
My late husband was my safe person. He also was the funniest human on the planet and the hardest I ever laughed was usually at my expense. His teasing was never mean, loaded, veiled… it was pure and silly and sarcastic and witty. He was the greatest human I have ever known and he made the best fun of me. It has do with your heart, where the teasing comes from. I knew without question that my husband thought the best of me- adored me and was unequivocally my safe person, 17 years since he died and I still can feel it. I will miss him forever.
What a beautiful legacy, leaving you wth the loveliest memories of his good heart 🤍
You are a beautiful writer! Thank you for sharing those experiences with us. That is what true love and respect looks like!
💔 oh my gosh, your comment hurt me. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's nowhere near the same but I'm grieving the loss of my ex, who is the one who got away, and I'm finding it hard to keep the faith that I will meet someone who makes me feel the same, who I like as much ❤❤
The laughs and good times never die. What a great memory. Thanks for sharing.
Wow. Your husband sounds like a fantastic man. My dogs are my safe persons.
"The only thing better than talking to people, is not talking to people." ❤
i really recommend
Aaaaaaaaaamen hahahaha
Aaaaaaaaaamen hahahaha
As a medium white female, who also lives alone in a foodless apartment, I watched this yesterday and went for solo dinner today ❤
Yeah, you absolutely sound like a white female.
Oh, YES! I went on so many solo dinners before I met my husband and I LOVED it! I still do it when I travel for work!
I’m so glad I’m not the only one in a foodless apartment! I feel so silly for not feeding myself well but after spending all my energy adulting all day, I don’t have anything left at the end of the day. 🫠
...and even when you have kids you're going to want to eat by yourself too! 😄👍💕 Getting things done after-school is a mad dash before bedtime and eating in peace and quiet is required sometimes. 💕
Man can we normalize doing things by ourselves? I fkn love it. I feel like I can fully indulge without feeling like I’m inconveniencing people when I do shit solo.
im very onboard. i love to go on solo dates and people watch. its not weird, everyone is just living their life, no one cares what youre doing :)
if you could please send this memo to the restaurant hosts/hostesses - thx!
It is normal. No need to normalize it.
@@manehbag732 Exactly.
@@Caroline_WinklerIf anything, when you're alone, people are more likely to approach and strike up conversation. Next thing you know, you're getting married.
Psychological safety is drastically underrated. Many of my closest friendships ended because of jokes revolving around my illness, so it’s really refreshing to hear someone think so deeply about the consequences of teasing.
Caroline I'm very obsessed with this video. It's relatable and cozy and intimate. I feel like a weirdo for feeling this (one-sided) connection with you. But I guess that that's just you being good at your job? Regardless, keep being you.
That’s the best thing I could hear :) I’ve had many one sided relationships with people I’ve never met, that were super comforting or influential so don’t feel crazy, I think that’s the point!❤ and I’m honored to hear it
@@Caroline_Winkler Thank you, and thanks for showing us these glimpses of you and your life. We're always rooting for you
@Caroline_Winkler No worries, it’s what I do. Like the meme and the old commercial on tv said, “It ain’t much, but it’s honest work”
@@Caroline_Winkleri
we are all parasocially connected to Caroline
Its not even the month of autumn yet but this video is peak cozy autumn vibes, like chilling at a friends house 🥺
im already so excited for cozy fall evenings dont get me STARTED
Nothing wrong with telling the waiter you were planning on taking the rest home.
Speaking as a happily married male, your partner should be your safe space. I've learned not to tease my wife, because she takes it very hard. She has learned to let me talk about something and try to work it out verbally (I'm not good at thinking quietly, which she can come up with an answer really quick).
In other words, when we came together, we were speaking two languages, and we had to learn how to talk to each other safely. And that's why we've been together for 30 years next month.
Wow. I’m about to get married and that’s exactly us too; we spoke two different languages, from two different planets it felt like, but we really wanted to learn each others from the moment we met.
Now it feels like we never didn’t speak the same one ❤
Ty so much for sharing this, seeing this really makes me so grateful I found him and excited to spend (god willing) 30+ years with him. 🥹🥹
@@js77z❤
You Sir are what most people should at least attempt to be irrespective of gender. Trying to understand your companion and to be able to find a neutral balance is all we can do really to keep it going.
This is the sweetest thing ever, and that you took the time to reply that way. I've been married 25 years and we also credit our success to being each other's safe space/soft landing. It's absolutely priceless, esp in today's chaotic world
❤
The teasing thing is actually so important. I got out of a relationship that teased me all the time. It was always “just a joke” but when I left and found a man who treated me every second with respect and grace it made a huge difference in my life. It’s not that we don’t have fun with each other, it’s just only about the things that we have fully communicated about.
My fiancé told me he fell in love with me because I’ve always made him feel safe, which blew my mind because I always try to be accepting and safe for everyone in my life. So what you said at the end about wanting to be your boyfriend’s safe person is probably one of the sweetest things I’ve ever heard someone say because I’ve realized how important being that person for someone else (romantic relationship or otherwise) can be. Wishing you all the happiness in this relationship and in life 🩷
"I want to be his safe person" is one of the sweetest and cutest things I have ever heard. I'm single now, but this knowledge is something I will keep forever. Thanks again Caroline
I want to be this for my person
A Paige and Caroline collab will literally send me over the edge. I need it now
I NEED THIS NOWWWW TOOO!!! 🤩💕
They both asked people over IG recently to send in pictures of spaces! (Very similar prompt too) Was hoping it was a collab 🥰
That would be so great 😭 I’ve been waiting ever since they started their channels
That would be so good, I love sarcastic people and put two of them together, I’m I’m here for it. However, I’m worried about Paige’s head. I think she should go to the doctor. She’s constantly rubbing and scratching her scalp so much so I can hardly watch her, I think she needs to get that checked.
My fingers are crossed for a rude review collab 🤞
evening/night time is my FAVORITE time of day and nobody ever films videos in the nighttime so this feels so cozy and warm and like a comfy friend. big fan of “bad lighting” and filming in the night
My fiance and i have been through some tough times together. Now whenever things around us gets tense we say to each other, 'I'm on your side.' Best relationship ever because we consciously take care of each other.
this is lovely. means even more in those tougher times. i hope they transform into something new for you shortly
@Caroline_Winkler oh yes, they already have, thank you! Being able to trust each other to be by each other's side is transformational.
My partner and I have been together nearly 2 decades now (gosh!), I came close to death twice in that time, and when you go through some heavy crap together it gives you serious perspective. Our code phrase when things get tense is "I'm having a hard time." It's shorthand for "I know I'm being annoying/impossible/etc. but I am overwhelmed right now and I am aware of this and I will do better in a bit, and just need some space and some grace." I don't remember how we agreed on that phrase, but once we did, it made our lives so much easier. And the response is always "I get it, I love you." Which is code for, essentially, "I'm on your side, I understand, we'll work it out." And we give some space and some grace, and we move forward, and talk about stuff when things are calm, if it needs talking about. Having a partner who is willing to talk about hard stuff, willing to consider your better nature and overlook the grumpy missteps, and is willing to do the work to fix the problems and truly move on when things are resolved... and also BEING that partner... it's not always easy, but it's good.
You killed me with the end monologue, my heart was broken and mended simultaneously. I think you can do it Caroline. I had the same issue with sarcasm in my family. At some point I said no, actually fun at someone else's expense is not funny. I may be sensitive about it, but I'm also at peace so, I win.
My mother never knew how to have fun....except at my expense. Growing up, I never understood why life had to be so miserable all the time...she behaved as though that was how life was meant to be.
Because jokes in childhood were at my expense, I suppose I became desensitized to them. No joke directed at me one by others in my adult life could ever possibly wound me. Rather, little jokes pointing out my quirks make me feel seen, acknowledged and understood.
The thing is, jokes should never be sarcastic or cynical or intended to wound. Rather, the stuff to joke about is the stuff your partner knows you love them for - like their athletic prowess or their meticulously manicured lawn that’s the pride of the neighborhood. And the humor should derive from the person’s exceptional gift or skill - and be by way of bragging or complimenting them. A good example would be if a wife said, “Honey PLEASE let the neighbors know before you power-wash the windows again! People are at risk of blindness come sunset from the rays bouncing off our house...”
You have a very enriched point of view that I enjoyed reading about. I'm sorry you had to put up with that negativity though.@@jenniferlynn3537
My life is a smelly pile of dog shit right now and that is okay because I do my silly little tasks and then I watch your videos and your videos make me feel happy to be alive so thank you for carrying some of my therapist's weight
big hug to you friend
At 69, I relate to you in every way. How is that possible? It just is. I live alone, am divorced with a cat named David. I'm retired from FT work but I consult to friends in their businesses and nonprofits. I only do fun work that helps people enjoy their jobs. (Positive psychology) I am in a new relationship too. I waited a l o n g time to meet this man and don't want to screw it up. So I talk to him about my concerns and vice versa. So far this works. At 70 he constantly surprises me. It's good. Loved this vlog. I will watch it again. ❤ ps. Love Paige too!
Never seen anything in the whole of my life more relatable than the urgency with witch you expressed the need for sweatpants upon returning home.
I so loved what you said at the end. My ex-husband was really funny, and teasing was his favorite thing. Living with him was a nonstop barrage of microaggressions disguised as jokes. I feel such calm and comfort these days to be free of that. So I super applaud your idea of being your boyfriend's ally and safe harbor instead.
Loved your thought at the end. And, having run the course of "head-over-heels in love" to "annoyed-as-shit that I'm reminding you for the 87th time that plastic bags don't go in the recycling bin," I've been humbled by my marriage repeatedly revealing how short I fall of the loving partner I imagined myself to be. It is a challenge to choose to be unselfish in perpetuity for another person...especially x number of years down the line, when the freshness of new love has faded. I guess what I'm saying is I agree with your goal of being the "safe person" for your partner, and at the same time, what a lifelong challenge to one's nature!! A good challenge.
Your relationship comments at the end got me reflecting. My husband and I are pretty sarcastic people, but we have never gotten into a habit of teasing one another. I remember at a certain point in the beginning consciously choosing not to disrespect him even in a joking way. I’m blessed to have found the right person who has that mutual respect for me, and it sets our relationship apart from every other relationship I have with other friends and family members. It really is like a sweet and safe place. I’m more traditional in that I believe men require respect and women need to feel love (obviously we both need both), but when I resolved to always respect my boyfriend (now husband), he has always given me the love I needed in return and now we have a very easy but solid bond.
My husband has ADHD and it's WILD how similar your daily habits are. I've found a lot of your organization tips helpful for our house. Also he has trouble with silence and being alone, has never lived alone, and seeing you tackle that in a healthy way is really impressive.
Mid thirties, ten years into marriage and those last words really hit hard. Something to work back towards. Thanks for this beautiful video and your vulnerability.
Regarding your night thoughts on teasing - I voiced the same feelings to my therapist a few weeks ago. Her response: often it’s not necessarily the teasing that hurts someone, but the motivation behind the teasing that’s felt. When your teasing comes from a truly lighthearted place and is done to share or show love, the receiver usually absorbs that energy. But when you’re teasing to passive aggressively communicate something bothering you, or as a defense mechanism (feeling insecure, rejected, embarrassed, etc), it’s likely going to translate as a hostile act to the receiver, so it’s best to pull the brakes on the joke at that point and reflect on what triggered the urge to say it instead.
Anyway, that resonated and has helped me in those moments, so thought I’d share. You’re killing it at this life shit regardless. Keep being you.❤
^ THIS! This is really interesting because I can actually *feel* the intention behind the words, even when I can't rationally think about in the moment! Thanks for your sharing your thoughts! ✨️
@@dreckneck RIght?! Glad you found it helpful too!
Thank you so much. I can understand why some teasing feels good and nice and some feels biting and cruel. Love this. Thank you.
I love that you came to the conclusion about not teasing your significant other. My husband and I made the decision not to be sarcastic with each other early on, and I think it’s been the best thing for our relationship. I am typically a pretty sarcastic person, and he can be as well but we drew that line with each other and there has been so much more respect and comfort between each other.
I love hanging out with you being yourself BUT ALSO GIRL get your dryer vent checked out! if it's plugged up the airflow isn't there and dryer stuff stays damp and it's also a fire hazard 😭
WHAT. how do people learn this stuff without a youtube comment section there to keep them safe
@@Caroline_Winkleryoure actually supposed to rinse your dryer vent every few months to get rid of buildup from dryer sheets and fabric softener. This can impede drying and contribute to fire hazard.
Agh now I have to find videos on how to rinse my dryer vent. Thanks though.
BTW Caroline, I’m 60 and loooove your videos.
And clean lint from pullout screen each and every time. 👍🏼
@@adarateranroldanI.....need to follow this advice
Just got home, poured myself a glass of wine, started dinner..... Let's see if there's anything good on UA-cam....
I literally said YES out loud in an empty house!!! I haven't even watched it yet, but you just made my day. Love your videos.
1. Clean the filters on your dryer.
2. Hold the chopsticks further back - you're too close to the business end of them.
3. Solo Dinner FTW! :)
i love this. what do you mean further back??? i need more INFO
@@Caroline_Winkler so the bit that rests between your thumb and forefinger should be closer to the fat end of the sticks - around a couple of inches from the fat end.
If only the internet had some sort of video medium so that I could show you. Damn it! :)
I think being a safe person for our loved ones is an underrated and admirable quality. When my niece was born, people would say “oh are you going to be the fun aunt?” And I would reply that I’d rather be the safe aunt. I want to be a person that the kids in my life trust and feel safe coming to when they need me. Same thing with the adults in my life. Being fun can seem easy and exciting. Being safe is a deeper more meaningful connection. Just some thoughts. Thank you for being you Caroline:
your safe person concept made me cry. I get it, and it's such an inspiration.
Bawling like a baby. I want to be this person for sure.
Me too 😢
You make me feel like it’s okay to be ME. Seeing someone with a similar energy, similar anxiety, similar though patterns, similar silliness, similar loves - your videos help me, a lot. Thank you :)
Hi Caroline I’m more of a quiet watcher but I just have to say I literally love you. You’re like the big sister I never had (I’m a big sister myself) and I just know I would vibe so hard with you. You’re extremely funny, intelligent, wise, clever, witty I could go on but you’re just a phenomenal woman and I hope you know that. From a girl to a girl I’m so glad we’re here and you’re such an inspiration to me in many ways and I hope I’ll be as cool as you one day. Also every time I watch your videos I literally feel so happy and proud to be a woman, (as I should every day) but your videos are just kind of a reminder. Thank you for that✨💗
I feel all of these things too and I never know how to write it in a comment. But yes. Caroline, thank you for being our big sister…
And no I’m not crying rn
Youre crying
Shut up
I love the safe person idea. My friend was a teaser and it got to the point that I didn't want to tell her things anymore even though I loved her so much, because I knew she would tease me. It pushed us apart and we are not in a good place right now. I hope we can repair things soon.
I never really understood the teasing thing especially when it’s constant. Like if the person I’m talking to isn’t monitoring how it makes me feel and I’m getting hurt by it, then I’m out. I’m probably overly sensitive but I just don’t get it.
@@Bloo-J I am the type that can laugh at myself over everything. So I found it hilarious at first, but over time it got to be too much. Especially when she exaggerated in front of all my other friends, which was embarrassing. I however was bad about communicating when it got that way, I just withdrew instead of being honest with her.
Wanting to be your partner's safe person is a very mature goal. The desire to be kind in your closest relationships can only bring positive results. Great thought. May we all strive for that. Thank you, Caroline, for sharing your most candid thoughts and feelings.
Your content is the most relatable on the internet for me as a single woman over 30.
Caroline in the car is so comforting to me, as someone who got attached to your vlogs while painting my apartment last year.
aw i love this. it is also my happy place
I also got attached to the vlogs while painting my new place!
Omg yassss. It’s like watching a friend talk ❤
Caroline, I’m not in the demo. I’m a 42 year old interior designer that’s celebrating an 18th wedding anniversary this weekend. BUT, I think if I had taken a different path my live may have looked similar yours in that parallel universe. I’m reminded of a time one of my best friends at the time we’re sitting at a diner, hungover, laughing and eating breakfast when a woman approached us and said she so enjoyed watching us…that she reminded her of herself and a good friend at our age. You’re doing that for me and it’s comfort food for me. So thank you. Carry on. Oh, and I’m not in the camp that thinks we’re watching your slow decline into despair. On the contrary - I fear you will move on into total fulfillment, no longer create content for us and leave a small but not insignificant void on UA-cam. Love ya!
When you want to be with someone for long term, you can’t go wrong with simple kindness and just an easy fun camaraderie that doesn’t come with arrows. Even though you’re not sure how to define it, the right feeling is there, and it’s nice. ❤
Caroline, it's not really solo dining when you bring along your thousands of followers! It was great hanging out with you. I hope that you will take your sisters' advice so that you can fully enjoy this new relationship. Thank you for providing a safe (and fun) space for so many of us.
Everything you said about being a safe person was so spot on. In friendships and relationships, the thing that I have learned is you will never regret choosing to be the kind one. Even when people are unkind to you, if you choose to be the safe place, you will always feel better at the end of the day knowing you did the right thing. Teasing can be fun, sure. But it never feels as good as just being kind.
this vid felt like a hug. just love watching you be you, even through a screen. thanks for being one of my fav parasocial friends
I think it's a beautiful thing to want to be someone's safe person - it feels like it's a strong sign of being healed - that your cup is full - just make sure it's reciprocated - and practice being that for yourself - editing self-talk, self-parenting - all that good stuff - for what it's worth, your channel is a safe place for us 💙
I love how Paige edits your videos and how you’re so vulnerable in them. It’s like watching a cozy documentary or movie. I feel good vibes! 💜
I'd been having a bit of an emotional day, all up in my feelings, when I sat down to watch this and now I feel all soothed and cozy like I just spent time with a friend. Thanks Caroline you are a star!
It's like the arts are peeking at you from behind the curtains.
Dang girl, I snort laugh and then gasp cry. I think you're a safe person for a lot of people you don't even know. I hope you have a safe person too!
Truly obsessed with this video - the most accurate depiction of what we do while living alone in the evenings. Truly random, chaotic, and yet delightful - doing what you want when you want how you want. But the end - beautiful reflections. Thank you ❤
It’s 1 AM and I literally cannot stop watching and listening to you. This is the most relatable channel ever
I. AM. SO. EXCITED. At the possibility of a Caroline/Paige collab! I’ve been trying to set you guys up on a blind date for a year! 😂
I'm a Vietnamese viewer and I feel so glad that you like Vietnamese food🥹🥹♥️♥️ always love the authenticity of your vlog 🫶🏻
Glennon Doyle once wrote something to the effect of *stopping antidepressants because you feel better is akin to standing in the middle of a rainstorm with an umbrella over your head and thinking oh I don't need this umbrella, I'm dry.*. I think of this when I start considering that I don't need to go to therapy because I'm felling ok.
Hi Caroline: thanks for bringing us along with you. I’m scared to back to therapy too, but I had my first consult last week and now I’ve committed to 6 weeks. I think it’s part of “being my own Mother” as I’ve been doing a lot of adult grown up stuff lately to take care of myself (mamogram, etc) and none of these things give me an immediate payoff, so I have to remind myself that it is a long term investment.
I can picture you taking a deep breath & getting ready to come in looking nonchalant during that long pause of the fake entrance 🤣 I totally get what you mean by not wanting to tease a lot anymore because I come from a shit talking family. It’s almost like a camaraderie and it’s fun being witty. I have never had a safe person and I don’t think I’ve ever been someone safe person so the thought of being much more softer sounds so nice.
Normalize sitting on the porch alone at night with only your thoughts, and just watch cars drive by.
I loved that shot 24:54
"that's too much food for you" 🤣 & Caroline, you are way too cool! It's been so much fun "hanging" out with you! & I appreciate your wanting to be "someone's safe person." How beautiful is that! 💖 Loved this video! 😘
Thank you Caroline and Paige for exposing the lie that is any influencer being recorded while entering their home. 😂
haha you are so welcome. i still sometimes do it! but it must be exposed. it's all i think during every casey neistat vlog
Haha, I always think this about Casey Neistat’s shots.
Or any blog where they're hiking and it's shot after shot of them walking off into the distance down the path. But you know they have to come running back to get the camera. I'm like, dang, that's a lot of exercise.
@@shannonhart5580 yes lol I think about that too
@@shannonhart5580 Or driving away...
The sponsorship segue was flawless
I am grace
I was hoping for info on the magnetic shelf though @@Caroline_Winkler
As a 34 year old lady with no kids, who has previously pursued acting, tried coding, did UA-cam (got to 4k subs and my ex encouraged me to quit), I very much so enjoy your content as I relate to so much about you. I also admire you, dawg! I’m Scottish and I live in England and I got such a bargain at a car boot sale recently, an oak writing bureau, hallelujah! And it only cost me 5 quid!!! (I actually felt guilty taking it for so cheap!) anyhoo, I’m rambling. My point is, you’re the best.
Oh. Sorry he told you not to do UA-cam. Glad you moved on.
You are so smart, and I loved what you spoke of at the end:
being someones safe person.
That resonates and is sincere beyond!!
You really have been like the sister I never had and help me organize my new loft, think about boys...and help in all angles of life!
I soooo enjoy solo dining, and once went to Disneyland (my aunt & uncle dropped me off) it was super healing in some strange way.
Like I got to celebrate myself and do anything~ Caroline, thank you for such laughs, cries and strides.
Thank you in a really Pivotal part of my life, you've been magically helpful!
Oh my god, a solo trip to Disneyland sounds incredibly healing. The freedom. I don't think I would have ever considered it before. I'm glad I read your comment. 😊
it was vastly helpful...I mean really like moments of pure bliss! I felt like a kid again and so fun running to rides and single rider line joy!! Have fun when you go @@dottiebowles
I found your channel just a couple of months ago. I'm already a different person from them. I love growth/self improvement and it really is a never ending journey. Hearing your prespective and your growth has sparked a new stage of my own. Your ramblings on how you think you can grow, what you learn, and what you experience have more of an impact than you know. It may not feel like it, but you have a major impact on people's lives just by being you. I can come to your channel when I need a new perspective, when I want to feel safe and comfort. You've built a kind and accepting environment and relationship with your audience. It's helping me be more kind and accepting to myself and others.
Caroline, questioning is how we learn. Good job. Therapy is for when you are questioning your own patterns. If you are at the point where you are not able to answer your own questions, or formulate the right questions...I applaud your willingness to seek therapy. I also think you are wise to take breaks as needed. Good luck. Thanks for spending your solo evening with us. Always fun.
I was so relieved when you mentioned therapy because leading up to that moment I was like, I'm not sure if my friend Caroline is doing ok. I appreciate you. All of your facets and your truth sharing ❤
Caroline, I always appreciate your candor on this channel. You, my dear, are an icon, and I appreciate you!
yes yes YES on limiting teasing! I know for some people it’s how they show affection, but it makes me so tense! I dated someone who teased, and even though the content was pretty innocuous, it really got to me. I felt like some of it was airing real grievances under the guise of joking, and I felt like I always had to be on my guard in exactly the space where I should feel the safest to be vulnerable. I worried that I was being way too sensitive - maybe it was rejection sensitive dysphoria; it sounded like our families handled teasing differently, etc. But then it turned out when I tried to spar back a little that he could dish it out but really couldn’t take it, so…the deal is just that you get to be a little bit mean to me all the time and I can’t protest or tease you back? No thank you.
I was alarmed at first when you said, “always be on his team, no matter what,” because that ride or die mentality can sometimes cause people to allow or excuse truly terrible behavior. But once I got what you meant I found it so reassuring. You can still say “Hey, that’s really not okay” or “To be honest it sounds like you were in the wrong and need to apologize” if the situation calls for it. And it actually might be extra powerful because they’ll know it’s not part of barrage of small, everyday barbs, it’s a real concern coming from someone who they know has their back and is safe.
Love your thoughts about teasing, for me it's kind of losing trust, losing the "safe space". I couldn't put it into words, but you did it. Thank you for being yourself, it's a truly safe space 😊
The music in the ending was so soothing. More nighttime filming, please
It ain't easy to make something this good look easy. Thank you, UA-cam, for making it possible to meet this woman. In a virtual way, of course. And thank you. 🐾
Your whole thought process on being/staying someone’s safe place really gave me something to think about. There’s something so sweet and vulnerable about re-considering our past patterns with the hope of creating more positive things in the present & future. I think the seed of contemplation you’re watering there will grow something beautiful.
Loved this style of video! It was fun to see more of the area you live. I’m trying to get more comfortable with solo dinners, so thanks for the inspo!
The idea of being someone's "safe person" by never teasing them is honestly such a crazy thought to me. Like why have I never thought of this? It's something I'd love to try for my partner and closest friends. To just try to be the safe person that will never tease them, never judge them, always be on their team. I love that. Thanks, Caroline.
This video felt so calming and cozy (as most of your videos are). I'm moving to DC in less than a week and this helped me so much with my moving anxiety. Looking forward to hopefully being comfortable on my own. 💗
May you have an awesome life in DC. Good luck with everything. Hello from Australia.
@@HappyHarryX5 That is so sweet thank you!
My past relationship began because we constantly argued and teased each other, and I realized after a while that I loved friends who could reciprocally tease, but I want my partner to be my safe person who will respect me and who I'll always feel like will be on my side. This situation did improve during that relationship, but hoping that in the next I won't have to ask for it multiple times. At some point, you start to believe the 'jokes'.
I love your peek-a-boo pictures, every space needs an enigma or two.
Also, I am getting a hit of major mom energy seeing the candles/open flames on your stacks of books, and particularly a couple of open flames right behind your chair. I mean, you do you, you know your space, etc., but the mom in me is imploring you to consider fire safety. I also say this because a good friend of mine got horrific third degree burns over a third of her body from being unwittingly too close to a similar candle setup to yours (in her own home), and ended up needing many surgeries. It's no joke.
This video makes me so happy. Makes me wanna light candles, have some tea, and write. Also the fall vibes 100%
Thank you for this lovely video
Okay yesssss per your confession. When I started dating my husband, I thought I was soooo healed from my previous relationship. But it took me being in a new one to start experiencing triggers…. Which inevitably lead me to therapy! The only way I could fully heal from all the emotional trauma was to be in a healthy relationship and experience the triggers so that I could diagnose them and actually heal. My husband would do nothing wrong and I would panic that he was going to do something that resembled my ex! Horrifying! Anyways yay therapy and healthy relationships and patient partners. 🥰
I think being in relationship is healing some part of you and making you softer and more vulnerable. I like the idea of not teasing so much. I was bullied a lot at home growing up and at school so sarcasm and teasing really hurt me. I think there’s something under it when someone does it too much. I think you’re tuning into that. That’s good. Curious to hear more about what you learn when oh go back to therapy and from being in the relationship more. I’m the same way I get so nervous in relationships. Hearing about this is also healing for me. Thnx Caroline for showing up as you. You are loved 🥰
I relate to the last bit. My boyfriend needs me to be his safe place, but I'm often the skeptical, neutral observer who is reluctant to automatically take his side. I also tease him for his earnestness. I don't know why I'm so adamant about not giving that up.
It's about vulnerability, really. If you are earnest you are vulnerable because you're showing people exactly who you are all the time. There's no walls. Same with taking someone's side, you're declaring someone to the world that you can't take back and that's vulnerable. If you've been hurt before, it's understandable you don't want to feel that way - it's scary! But it's also part of life. I hope you can find your way to it because it's really quite nice when you do, from a fellow knee-jerk-walls-up person who's also learning still how to be open with the people I love.
Teasing someone, at its core, is just showing off how clever you are. The better your self-esteem gets, the less you want to tease others because you no longer value showing off at the risk of making them lose confidence. I probably could've worded that better, but I have been awake many hours :)
I saw someone comment on Paige's channel that you had the same vibe and that you would be a great duo and I couldn't agree more, so glad to know that something is coming!
Your my safe person on UA-cam.... I feel safe watching and hearing you... you just be YOU..... I love you Caroline
I love love this video!! I am engaged and happily sharing a home with my fiance, and I love watching your videos because I reminiscence on the time I used to live alone. There's beauty in sharing your space and your things with someone, but also in being alone and enjoying things by yourself.
I think your thoughts about being your partner's safe person is exactly what I strive to be for my fiance and why we've been together 10 years since high school. We love to tease each other playfully every now and then, but it never has a hint of judgment or shade. There's a level of respect we both have for each other that's very sacred and I value very much. I'm proud of you for seeing the importance of that trust and safety!!
i've been having hard times lately and for the last two weeks, i've been watching your videos whenever i feel bad and lonely. and here i feel safe. i feel understood. you've become my safe person caroline, thank you soooo much!
Caroline thank you for all you do!! ☺️😍🥰 13:50 the hose DOES in fact require a healthy micro biome-trust me; I know.
And I get it-I do-the scanning for the other shoe to fall-BUT-try to stop-& try to trust. It hurts but it’s so worth it when it does work out (married x 2 decades)-I truly pray all people experience a love which is grown into slowly and becomes far better as time goes by than during the obsessive glued together phase! I will continue to pray for you!!!
And YES! Be his safe person Girl!!! You’re the BEST-we all love ya!!
This is definitely my favourite one of your videos. AND YOUR HOME AT NIGHT IS THE BEST THING EVER. the lighting is not bad at all, it’s so warm and cozy and you look so pretty, more night vlogs please. I live for this. thank you love you♥️
Such a lovely, cozy video! What you said about being someone's safe person has really made me think about how I approach being 'playful' with the people around me. Thank you, as always!
I think that being on someone’s side is an amazing gift-it’s the covenant at the heart of all kinds of good relationships. I’m rooting for you and you’re rooting for me. Being safe for someone doesn’t mean leaving your own convictions and boundaries outside, but learning how to assert the important things constructively (I’m rooting for you, and you for me) instead of only joking about the unimportant things. It’s work, lady! It’s like wallpapering your bathroom…again and again. LOL. Caroline, I’m rooting for you to get that kind of faithfulness back from the people you invest it in! Thanks for sharing your thoughts💜
I laughed and then got mad a little that the waiter wouldn't let you order that third order. What the heck - hasn't he heard about "doggy bags"..... Also - I knew you needed food at home - because you only had peanut butter (and corn flakes)... :)
Haha I think they were closing up the kitchen and just trying to get home quickly. I’ll allow 😅
I've had similar experiences eating alone as a woman, where I'm rushed, ignored or receive patronizing comments. It doesn't happen all the time though.
@@Caroline_Winklerthat’s kind of you to make that excuse for him. I am SUPER irritated and offended on your behalf.
I know I'm showing my age here, but your comment made me think of an episode of That Girl. Way too many people showed up for her party, so she was reduced to making peanut butter and cornflake appetizers. P.s. they're pretty good.
@@marciabutler987fun show!
This may be my favorite video of yours. I haven’t seen them all but I’ve been following you for a while. Thanks for sharing so much of your authentic self.
I love the full beat outside your front door to fully get into character just to reveal the fake entrance. Commitment
here to expose myself
Hi Caroline, while watching this I felt what you were saying on a deep level - especially when you said you wanted to be everybody's safe person. Thank you for being you.
Hey Caroline! In regards to your dryer- the problem may be that your dryer vent needs to be cleaned out (not the lint trap but the tube that vents to the outside). You’ll probably need to contact your landlord about getting that cleaned out😊
Soooo...I just wanted to tell you...
My hubby and I have been married for 22 years! (I know) we tease each other ALL THE TIME... we are also 100% each other's safe person. We tell people that sarcasm is our love language. All that to say....TOTALLY doable. You ARE onto something Caroline ! 😃💖
Caroline, I could watch your videos all day! You’re so funny, irreverent and serious all at the same time. I’m probably way too old to be watching (I grew up listening to Billy Joel)you but I found your vlogs last year after my son died suddenly, it was surreal and I also sought therapy. I watch a lot of different vlogs on UA-cam but your videos gave me a reason to laugh again. Thank you so much for the great content and btw, you’re family is so great, talented and funny! Your dad’s magic tricks are so good. ❤❤❤ PS-I wish I had a stoop! And I think you need a small dog or cat? I love them all! Take care, Barb
Obviously she has a lot of older people watching her videos. We all also say, "I am probably too old to be watching..."
She's a lovely grownup
Your vlogs are my favorite content. High key relate to not wanting to tease people anymore. A lesson I’ve learned as I’ve grown up and realized it’s not always helpful or necessary to important relationships.
I'm taking my first solo trip soon and I was just talking about feeling nervous about eating out alone while there, so this was perfect timing. You're so right, no need to feel weird about it, and order ALL the food!
I melted at the end of the video when you said that you always want to be on your partner's side & be his safe person!!! That is soooo sweet!!!
It is very hard for me to be on my husband's side when it comes to parenting. I don't like that about myself. Perhaps it's time to reevaluate the way I treat my second half. Thank you for the reminder, Caroline!!!
Also about doing things solo. One thing my husband & I do is we sleep in different rooms! I love it! He snores & it used to affect my sleep & his, too, because I'd have to wake him up to tell him that he is snoring... Now I sleep like a log & he is not bugged by me! :)) We "visit" each other when we feel like it! :)) It's great!
Much love from Ukraine!
Okay woah I have had that exact thought specifically about romantic relationships / partners & not wanting to tease them. I feel like the opportunity presents itself and I’d rather have them say the “dumb” thing or sing and dance with zero fear of looking silly. I haven’t thought about that in a while…
Honestly you are my safe person. I’ll never know you in person and I may always just watch you through the screen of my phone and I’m okay with that. You’re videos bring me a source of dopamine no influencer or UA-camr or anything like that has before. If I feel stressed or need motivation I always find your channel. I’m 19 and living in my own apartment and sometimes it’s just a lot for me but your wisdom and personality always makes me feel better. ❤
There are really only certain lighthearted things I'll lightly tease people about, because I think most people confuse bullying with teasing 🤷🏻♀️ you're being conscious of how you're going into this, and that shows growth. You're doing great 💝