It feels like freedom to me , I’ve done this a million times with people , exes etc . They come back every time. Seriously99 percent of the time you don’t even see them the same when they come back begging . Most of the time I’ve outgrown them . Live your life and feel the freedom - you have sooooo much more time ! I’ve never wanted someone who loses interest in me :)
Checking your phone, constantly hoping they text you, not healthy, gotta choose yourself, elevate no matter what mistakes you made. Grind it out and bang, greatness
Recently my ex brokeup with me and after begging and crying to come back in relationship 2-3 days I started no contact she messaged in between asking u okay ? On three different social media account but I didn't replied but I was checking if she was online or not sometimes but now after I have seen her message and not replied , she didn't respond anything like why not replying ? So like I was checking if she was online or not , now I am feeling anxiety thinking is she talking to some other guy like she used to talk to me ....what should I do ?
If people can’t see your value in the first place then let them go!! Put all the energy back onto yourself ❤ Attract don’t chase !! Gratitude for what you already have in life, will attract your true desires 😍 thanks Aaron 🙂
I love the focus on self-improvement and pulling energy back rather than it being a strategy to get them back... I'm not saying reconciliation is never appropriate, but whichever side it came from, there are almost always good reasons a breakup happened. I'm a little under two months out from being dumped by someone with whom I really thought I would have a future, but I've been good on the NC, living my life, working out, setting new goals. Had a great day out in the sun with a bunch of friends yesterday, and realized today it was the first day since the breakup where I really didn't think of her at all. Beginning to feel like myself again, and building to something better than I've ever been before.
Just ended a relationship this morning.....would have been 14 years in February. I blocked him....I need to do this. This has been an emotional roller coaster since the beginning.....I stayed with this man because I loved him and thought he would change. It's time for ME now......I feel I have lost myself. I need to heal....and I think this is the way to do it. I am heartbroken now but I know it will get easier. Thank you as always for your videos....they are so helpful xoxo
Yes!! Muting them even on your phone...put their text messages in a private box and mute them. Just waiting for the sound of their texts will put energy out.
Yeah I mute them and tell myself I won't look until the end of the day. That decision really helps because it gives me the power back. It's all about creating the space for yourself to get your power back.
@@dr.jenniferma3914 Yes! But also an interesting thing happens when you do this----you train your brain. Next time you are less obsessive thinking about a guy who is distant or not texting you back
This video was great timing for me. I've tried no contact before to get someone else to reach out, but this time I've been doing it because the 'hot and cold' behaviour is much worse than no contact. Knowing I won't hear from them is making it easier for me to stop obsessing and feeling negative emotions, so I actually feel happier. I don't know what will happen with them but at the moment I need this time to myself. Thanks.
I’m going through the same thing with my ex with the hot and cold behavior. You’re right it’s worst than being in no contact and is mentally exhausting.
Yes I’m currently going through it, I was finally moving on and he reached out. He keeps reaching out and leaving I got fed up and I said I can’t do this anymore you keep breadcrumbing. In the end he was cold and I begged again and now I have to go back to no contact all over again.
@@seri8214 same here I got tired of the hot and cold behavior and my ex was bragging about how great her life is now. So I told her congratulations and I hope everything works out for her. I couldn’t take it anymore.
I feel this deeply. I would rather someone flat out tell that they’re not interested or don’t want to talk, than to be ghosted. That way, I don’t have to think about it, I can just move on.
Why no contact:You do it To find your magnificence again ( break ups can knock you shake you) find your stability fully on your own to restore and expand your connection back to your source of love, joy, and peace greater than you had even with them. Thats often why they return cause your energy is magnetic and you feel so good in your own frame. You find all of yourself again
Trust me, the more you stick to no contact the easier it gets, eventually you’ll break free, Ive been marries to a narcissist wife for 11 years and I did it
At the end of the day, You are the only person who will always be there for You, even Your family, Your closest friends, Your significant other, may one day change and leave Your life. Be at peace and in love with Your own self, accomplish Your goals, and all the rest will come Your way, and You won't be afraid to ever lose them in case it ever happens. God bless You all and keep going!
Sometimes forcing yourself to not contact them could put you in a lack & desperate energy because you try to reject them in reality, but unconsciously you still attached to them. if I want to contact them I just say hi and reconnect and then i start to see their disrespectful, stale and just ordinary person. Finally you start see their true colors and you just lost interest naturally, that's when you lose all the attachment to them, you finally let go, move on, and see your worth, the ✨️magic✨️ was you and always you. Remember that.
I know this a year old comment but I have the big counter for this because I am going through it myself consistently talk to yourself or anyone else about that person reflect their red flags but when you reflect also reflect where you went wrong at such as accepting their red flags keep telling yourself the things that they told you that hurt you this will remind you to leave that person alone because if they knew it would hurt you they would not say those words or things that do, then reflect on how it was a good thing that what you wanted in the present did not happen because it would affect your present and might affect your future over time you will get over it
It's letting go without pushing away. Some people think that letting go is the same thing as getting rid off.. It's not. Letting go just means that who you are no longer depends on things, people or situations outside of yourself. Becoming independent on all levels is what makes you one with existence.. You can even let someone go and still see them or talk to them. Just remember, that light feels like being in love, or the feeling you get in spring time tenfold, mixed with a constant deja vu.. everything happens as it is supposed to be.. Acceptance is the key to salvation. Nothing outside yourself determines who you are, and you determine nothing outside yourself.
I love this !! Ur right. We have a fear if we let go they will go away. But we are not pushing away. Just letting go naturally. Not forcing to keep or letting go
Just found this video. A great point is moving on. That was my intention, not to get her back. I wanted it to work out but it didn't, I started my LLC and keep going forward.
I’m going through this but with my friend. She’s not a bad person… I just feel like I’m not the star of my own movie around her. It’s felt this way for a very long time and it’s triggering me really bad because I feel like I deserve to be the main character of my movie. I need space to not compare myself to her or look at my accomplishments as minor just because they aren’t as big. My accomplishments are wonderful and they deserve the to be recognized as so.
Literally two years….my case eight years and married 🙈 I also lost my home. Yes, it’s hard, but I want to let him go, he doesn’t love me and I deserve to be loved because I’m a good person. Thanks for making this video.
I’ve seen comments that you repeat yourself too much. Keep repeating yourself, keep posting. Do it daily. You look like me btw in female way 😂😂😂. I’m watching your videos daily, thank you for the help, I’ve been so hurt the past 10 years, now I get it
Hi.. i tried the “ignoring, no blocking” for 3 mnths. Sometimes we would look at each other’s status, and this was making me feel sick, anxious, and pain. I blocked him 5 days ago, and I’m feeling much better. I know I’m not healed at all, but the waiting, the expectation is not there anymore. Wish I started the no contact sooner. TY for the video 🙏🏽
When she says there isn't going to be any more 2nd chances "I'm Done" is a good indicator that the toxic sex was the only thing keeping you when you get sick of the BS
Aaron, I just read your 'opening up' email. It was really generous of you to share that with your followers. I've noticed something different about your most recent videos - as if you weren't as grounded or balanced - and this explains it. Thanks for sharing, it helps the rest of us. I hope you're ok.
Exactly. Because at the end it is mostly about that thing: How compatible those persons are and how they progressed with their self healing and introspection. After then no manipulation is needed! It will disappear naturally. People should remember following:
It doesn't matter what happens, YOU are loved and You are enogh!
I like to practice forgiveness and work on forming a degree of friendship with boundaries. This way, neither party goes into a state of limerance and the healing process can take place. No contact can be challenging and is not for everyone. I think; boundaries and limiting in person interaction, and using “impulse control” when it comes to online interaction - are helpful in break ups. I find when I’m healing, and moving on; if it’s someone I truly care about; going no contact can be painful. It’s like some people can’t quit smoking cold turkey. Sometimes easing away slowly and gradually reducing engagement is easier for both parties.
I totally agree with you, Aaron. Your tips work on everything. On soulmates, twin flames and all the other relationships out there. Thank you. Love and light! 🥰💖
You’re the first person that I’ve found on UA-cam that actually suggests to use the no contact rule to begin the healing process and let go. All the others talk about using the no contact rule to get your ex back by removing yourself from their life so they can miss you so they’ll reach back out to you. I’m 52 years old and in my experience, using the no contact rule to get back an ex is like wishing in one hand and crapping in the other. Which do you think will happen first? Telling people to use the no contact rule solely to get your ex back like so many other coaches on here is giving someone false hope because it works less than half the time. This guy is spot on. Use it to break those chains and heal yourself. I’ve been the dumper myself and I have never tried to get an ex back because I left for a damn good reason. I’m currently the dumpee from a nearly 10 month relationship. We broke up almost 7 weeks ago and I will not reach out to her because she broke up with me when I did nothing wrong. Anyway….folks, listen to this guy. He’s giving great advice. Nobody is worth waiting around on, especially if they dumped you. Use the no contact rule to start healing yourself so you can move on because that’s exactly what they’re doing. I’m going to subscribe to this channel because this is some good stuff!
My long distance boyfriend’s father forced him to break up with me and he said he wants to remain great friends though. It’s been 6 days and I’m still blocked, however I believe that during this no contact, because of the fact it never became sour or anything like that, he will message me back.
No Contact is NOT always the easiest way to move on. Let me explain. My ex broke up after 3+ years. I went into no contact for 10 months. Every day I thought of her. Missed her. Then, one day, I walked up to her at a party. She couldn’t care less. Told me bye and blocked me on the socials. After, I felt angry with her disrespecting me for the very first time. With that anger came relief. And suddenly I could see all the downside of being with her. And now I’m free. This would never have happened if I continued to be in no contact. Maybe you just gotta be you? Good luck everyone. Wishing you all the best in this world ❤
This is true I was in no contact for like 8 months then just to give it a try I contacted him again. Well he ignored me and the illusion kinda broke. But I feel like I'm truly free to move on now
When you do the no contact, she has to be the one who reaches out. Never initiate anything. And if she doesn't, that's fine coz you already decided to focus on yourself to move on. You're happy again. You're in your good frame again. And when you're in that, you'll attract good loving people in your good loving frame. If that's her, so be it. If that's someone else, so be it as well.
I'm stressed about a no contact rule I've applied a month ago to my ex girlfriend, because exactly of that - I know it's means to move on, not to get her back. But even though the relationship wasn't healthy, it's hard at times. When you said of how opportunities came because you let go and let them in... it spoke to me, you know. Thank you.
I broke up with my gf the Monday of Thanksgiving week. It was so hard and hurt so much. She was ignoring me, and I asked if she loved me still she said she didn't think so. I was in such a deep depression, I had to let her go to save myself. A month in and I'm doing no contact and I feel myself getting stronger by the day. It still hurts, but I finally feel good about the future and know I'll be ok. I know my worth and what I deserve
@lilsiranthony she didn't come back, but that was a blessing. I'm thriving right now, life is amazing. She is in my class and we all graduate nursing school next week so I had to deal with seeing her all the time. But I ignored her, stayed no contact and one day I just woke up and didn't think about her... when I see her, I'm still a little triggered, idt that'll go away, but overall I'm a lot happier and ready for someone who actually deserves me and my love... It's a difficult road but you can do it and these videos definitely help. Everything will be ok! Don't look back, only forward
@@AnthonyGarcia-dr8nz congratulations on nursing school that’s amazing and a huge accomplishment. I’m actually an LVN thinking about getting my RN but we’ll see.. well me and my ex boyfriend were together for five months. The reason why we broke up was because me fighting past ghost and insecurity is a patch relationships, and I will question him accuse him, but there was no cheating involved no physical abuse or verbal abuse, is just fighting my past end, he did somethings that triggered my past but right now I’m doing therapy and listening to these videos counseling to do better but they want their space and they want their peace back and I’m just trying to respect that and I asked him does he see a future with us and he says he doesn’t know but then the week before that she told me if we work on ourselves then maybe so I don’t know what to do do I wait or do I go and thank you so much for replying
UA-cam suggested one of your videos to me. I usually roll my eyes at relationship videos. And too many espouse creepy ways of playing games to "get the girl/guy." I love your focus on self empowerment. Such a gift. Thank you.
@@boilermakerr51 oh yes so I’ve been over the situation for about 2 months now. I don’t cry, i don’t have any emotions about it. I don’t speak to my ex, he recently text me with the occasional Hoover and I have not replied. My life has gotten a lot better. New stream of income added, decided on not dating anymore and being child free and traveling next year. My life has never seemed brighter. I’ve been living life foreal not worried about still trying to go no contact. My self love and respect is way too high to still be on that subject I haven’t even thought about it I’ve been too busy with my own life. Once you see clearly someone is okay with not being in your life, that is the moment you pick yourself up and choose to love your life and yourself x1000 more than anyone outside of yourself every could.
I experienced that no contact period with a very close girlfriend, for four months, after she ghosted me. I reduced my exchanges with her to 1 text per month, just for her birthday, or something not very important, just asking her if she was fine, and assuring her of my respect. After these four months, she called me back, and told me she have bee through great changes in her life, one period of sickness, another of sadness, and now she was getting better. She also thanked me for my messages, it helped her feeling better, though she had no strengh and will to answer.
I experienced this with someone that I was dating but things just not working out, but we could never break away and always have respect for each other, it's hard to do the no contact since we had strong attraction and bond, There is always momentum to reach out especially on winter ( i call him Snowman,lol) , just to checking in, show that we still care , and wish the best for each other.
Woooow!! Ive looked at other no contact videos but this one made more sense than any of them. I felt like you were speaking directly to me. Thank you sooo f’n much!!!!
It's very hard to do in unhealthy relationship, like with NPD person cause there was some power that made me message this person, want this person, do things that don't benefited me. I didn't know about narcissism before, and my traumas and fear of abandonment too. I was an emotional puppet for quite some time until I realised, it's a very unhealthy, even dangerous situation. No contact in any breakups is necessary but in toxic this should be forever. 🤐 It works.
I've sort of implemented this. Not necessarily that she asked for space or that there were issues between us. But I find myself way too anxiously attached. I actually did EMDR with my therapist to bring some stuff to the surface. Anyway my person is the person who has helped me to love myself more than anyone. I'm doing this to become more secure and heal my attachment style, not to manipulate her response. Not that I need to "move on" but if this were to go beyond friendship I feel I need to be in a healthier frame.
I'm glad this video popped up because I've been trying to do no contact and it wasn't really working. Now I know why because I've been looking at her social media. So I've still been giving her energy. I did see our 4 months together didn't mean a thing to her today on one of her posts. So now I'm done checking those out
Thanks for doing what you do bro , your videos helped me to understand/love myself and how important it is to just let go of the attachment in your life just offers so so much truly will change your life in so many ways .
I'm currently going through this with a friend. I don't contact her cause she wants space which is fine. I feel less tired and stressed cause I'm bringing my energy back to me. This definitely makes sense like I wanted her to miss me then the universe is like, ok what are you doing? Lol. If it is something then it is universe will take care of that at the right time.
This is good , you're lucky for having a normal life and be able to think and do anything else you want too like its something I cannot do because my brother has autism and he makes us go crazy too and not be able to sleep think or do anything else because of him you should be thankful for your life
@@محمدجمعه-ض1ل8ي I wouldn't say my life is normal at all. My life for about the last 4 months has been a tragedy between my ex dying and me taking care of 2 kids one autistic. Yes its a tragedy but life is going to have tragedies that's part of living. This friend was there for me through my ex dying, things happened but right now neither of us are ready for a relationship so it's a see how are you doing thing when SHE messages me.
@TopsyKretts I used to check everyday constantly if she would text me and when I would do that it would get worse. He makes a lot of sense stop wasting your energy on things you honestly can't control. So I used working out at home and/or at the gym, you have to figure out a plan then act on that. I decided to get my self in shape and when you start caring about yourself then world really does open up to you
@TopsyKretts Motivational speakers actually worked for me also. I'm not trying to advertise for him Jordan Peterson is very upfront and makes a lot of sense just like this channel
I miss that connection I once had with her. We still get on but damn it's just not there anymore 💔 tryna rid myself of that needy energy, it's so hard when you built that connection up for so long then boom it's gone
I’m on no contact going on 18 days I’m using this time to studying going to the gym and if she comes back and reconnects with me that’s a plus but I’m definitely feeling better day by day ..but I can’t deny I love her and I wish her well..
@@medico240 good I actually ran into her at the running track but what’s crazy is that she showed up early in the morning. She never shows up that early I’ve been running everyday since we broke up on May 3,2023. All the sudden on day 43 she’s at the track where we use to run together. I can tell she was nervous and so was I .. I know she missed me and I missed her too. But we’ll will see what comes of it ..but I’m feeling stronger thank you for asking
@@medico240 hey, I keep watching these NC videos for hope but I also pray , you don’t have to pray but it helps me…I watch coach Lee , Lucia and coach Kenneth Blackbookbasics….good luck and stay strong
To feel free you just need not to Desire alot...and good things Will appear. be grateful of the things you Desire before they come into your Life. Loving yourself helps a lot. Thanks 🤗
If they dont want you, just move on and let them be... if they think your not good enough, than they are actually not good enough for YOU! And if they suddenly come crawling back to you, because they didnt found anything better, do yourself a favour and dont take them back, because they didnt wanted you from the beginning and dumped you, means they are just playing you. Like a toddler playing with its doll... if they bored from it they will toss it into a corner and if they wanna play again they will take it for a while and later toss it again until they get a new, better doll. You deserve better than that.
Aaron, I just can’t thank you enough, you make such an amazing content, that literally changed my life for the better in many ways, watching you go your own journey yourself is so inspiring. Thank you, Shana tova (happy new year) Ayelet
I don't want his crumbs. I just want my power and energy back. I have insecure anxious/avoidant style, and he plays me like a game. I trusted him and told him all my insecurities and past trauma. And now he subtly uses it all against me. He makes me feel absolutely worthless. I just want to be free from the addiction to his texts, approval, and hot and cold behaviour. I want to be happy again.
I done this and felt my body rewiring on the third day...I am amazed at this detox from dopamine i am not even thinking about him .He texed me yesterday and this morning and i dont know what has happened to me ...something has shifted in me.... Now i need to think about what i want what i dont want....thankyou...thankyou ..thankyou.. Aaron
I broke up with my ex bf 4 days ago because I couldn't have imagined he was still talking to other ladies from time to time and he was always spending his 3 days off to meet and staying with his friends house and for the time he was replying to my take messages took time. Now I focused on myself and my job and even sometimes I missed him but I control myself not to contact him.
Best decision. Value yourself. Work out on yourself and don’t take nonsense from anyone. Don’t wait and waste your time someone who is running after other girls. Don’t became second option for him. Take break from the all relationships. Be yourself and put the energy to your goals.
I met him online and he showed interest in me for over one month and a half, but as time passed, I felt him slipping away. I decided to forget about him, and now it has been four days since we haven't spoken. It's very challenging, but I think I can manage it. 😢
My gf told me she wanted to move in with her friends and be independent for a bit. We were perfect soulmates that never had a big issue in the relationship except our individual problems. I just let her go but I truly believe she’s the one. Hopefully applying no contact and giving her space, she will reflect and come back.
@@fireblade8905 we’re on good terms and are hanging out again. I’m taking this as a big step but I’m gonna take things as slow as possible. Maybe see her once or twice a month.
My man of almost two years and I We were so loving to each other all the time , waking up next to him was something I thought we were meant for each other…our problem was his trauma and gambling. So he went to rehab and then the plan was us moving to Phoenix and start fresh but he broke up with me in recovery. It’s hard bc we had a good thing going on. Of course we had our trouble but most of the time it was beautiful and goofy.
This really really resonated with me. But after 24 years of marriage how the heck do I do this?? I feel like I may need to do some sort of energy cord cutting or something
Truth. I also cannot figure it all out. 28 years married, separated over 2 years ago, still not divorced. 2 kids together, one who still needs rides from school. I just want to fix this , OR forget the past even existed. 😢 Arrrgh !!!! They all say 'let it go' , or say 'move on' Really ! Really? Peace to you🙏🌼
@@nicholasmonsarrat719 Thanks for sharing. I can completely relate. I am also separated but it's only been 3 months. I don't know where it will lead me, but it makes me feel very stuck at the moment. We have one daughter together, but she's already left home.
Dude, This is safe to say that This is a disgrace to your grief by breaking no contact. The bitch decided to be out of your life. So Let her be. Fuck her birthday
I’m doing so much things wrong in my marriage. I watching allot of your videos and them i’m like yes! I will use this and this! But in the end i’m still texting her and asking for attention and and validation.. and do everything to proof myself to her. ( our marriage is in a bad place right now and We having break)
The truth is Aaron I can ignite a gang attack on myself in any groups of people, work school residence and friends and family. Everybody lust for trapping me. Once social media became our reality the level of my participation created a panic for the sociopaths, how will they maintain pushing my buttons if I now have the opportunity to create my own details of my character. The most recent trigger has set me a permanent drift from my immediate family, I will be alone for all future holidays until I meet my husband and create this new circle of people.
JoJo ghosting means he’s a coward. Don’t hold on energetically to people that dont Love,care or respect you. It’s usually a problem with themselves not loving or respecting them self
Oh God, if he ghosted you and called you stupid and boring, believe me: you dodged a bullet honey. He wasn’t a good man and definitely not the man for you. The best is yet to come. ❤
@@nicolebjn boring because I didn't feel like going to a shisha bar on the last meeting with him and stupid because I am vegetarian. But it hurts so much. I am someone who needs closure so much. Just saying goodbye to him would be enough instead of just being ghosted. What should I do now 😣
This is what happened to me: I was obsessed with a guy for years, I tried the no contact for weeks, one month .. but I always ended up reaching out , when I actually stopped to care about him he could understand by the energy in texts and he tried everything to kept me bounded to him, for the first time! but I didn’t care, and was the only time he tried, before when I wanted him he didn’t care. The problem is that now I’m in love with another man that for many different reasons doesn’t want to stay or try with me anymore.. so I decided to let go him, because the pain is too much, I’m not doing to have him come back, because I know he will not do it, but I feel better because I stopped to beg for the love he doesn’t want to give me anymore
Manifest Your Dream Life With The Magnetic Activation Process here: ➡ www.AaronDoughty.com/map
Is there a way for me to ask you a question regarding the no contact rule.
Just type it in the space 😊
@@NarniaHarvey it’s long and complicated so I didn’t want to write it out if I wouldn’t get a response
What if it's someone u see every day and work with?
It feels like freedom to me , I’ve done this a million times with people , exes etc . They come back every time. Seriously99 percent of the time you don’t even see them the same when they come back begging . Most of the time I’ve outgrown them . Live your life and feel the freedom - you have sooooo much more time ! I’ve never wanted someone who loses interest in me :)
I like that " I've never wanted someone that loses interest in me."
This is key to breakups!!!!
Great... you are right!
For women it’s easier
thank u for motivation
I want to be strong like u ❤
Checking your phone, constantly hoping they text you, not healthy, gotta choose yourself, elevate no matter what mistakes you made. Grind it out and bang, greatness
Recently my ex brokeup with me and after begging and crying to come back in relationship 2-3 days I started no contact she messaged in between asking u okay ? On three different social media account but I didn't replied but I was checking if she was online or not sometimes but now after I have seen her message and not replied , she didn't respond anything like why not replying ? So like I was checking if she was online or not , now I am feeling anxiety thinking is she talking to some other guy like she used to talk to me ....what should I do ?
This is true. 100% checking your phone and looking for their name when you post something to see if they’ve viewed it will mentally mess you up.
“When I started valuing myself, other people started valuing me.” 🙏 yes yes good stuff Aaron.
The world is a mirror.
Nope. I does not work such way.
@@basicinfo2022 no
You have to move on (detach) in order to reignite attraction since this is how you were towards them in the beginning
If people can’t see your value in the first place then let them go!! Put all the energy back onto yourself ❤
Attract don’t chase !! Gratitude for what you already have in life, will attract your true desires 😍 thanks Aaron 🙂
I love the focus on self-improvement and pulling energy back rather than it being a strategy to get them back... I'm not saying reconciliation is never appropriate, but whichever side it came from, there are almost always good reasons a breakup happened. I'm a little under two months out from being dumped by someone with whom I really thought I would have a future, but I've been good on the NC, living my life, working out, setting new goals. Had a great day out in the sun with a bunch of friends yesterday, and realized today it was the first day since the breakup where I really didn't think of her at all. Beginning to feel like myself again, and building to something better than I've ever been before.
@@gabi-di1ds nice try...I have over 180 lb of lean mass at 5'9.5
The reason of break up: partner found job in another city. Is it a good reason?
Just ended a relationship this morning.....would have been 14 years in February. I blocked him....I need to do this. This has been an emotional roller coaster since the beginning.....I stayed with this man because I loved him and thought he would change. It's time for ME now......I feel I have lost myself. I need to heal....and I think this is the way to do it. I am heartbroken now but I know it will get easier. Thank you as always for your videos....they are so helpful xoxo
Christina I coulda swore I wrote this,one year ago I was in your shoes I can relate girl, happy healing..
Sending you lots of love and light ❤❤
Yes!! Muting them even on your phone...put their text messages in a private box and mute them. Just waiting for the sound of their texts will put energy out.
Yeah I mute them and tell myself I won't look until the end of the day. That decision really helps because it gives me the power back. It's all about creating the space for yourself to get your power back.
@@dr.jenniferma3914 Yes! But also an interesting thing happens when you do this----you train your brain. Next time you are less obsessive thinking about a guy who is distant or not texting you back
This video was great timing for me. I've tried no contact before to get someone else to reach out, but this time I've been doing it because the 'hot and cold' behaviour is much worse than no contact. Knowing I won't hear from them is making it easier for me to stop obsessing and feeling negative emotions, so I actually feel happier. I don't know what will happen with them but at the moment I need this time to myself. Thanks.
I’m going through the same thing with my ex with the hot and cold behavior. You’re right it’s worst than being in no contact and is mentally exhausting.
Yes I’m currently going through it, I was finally moving on and he reached out. He keeps reaching out and leaving I got fed up and I said I can’t do this anymore you keep breadcrumbing. In the end he was cold and I begged again and now I have to go back to no contact all over again.
@@seri8214 ugh 😩 I totally feel ya 😔
@@seri8214 same here I got tired of the hot and cold behavior and my ex was bragging about how great her life is now. So I told her congratulations and I hope everything works out for her. I couldn’t take it anymore.
I feel this deeply. I would rather someone flat out tell that they’re not interested or don’t want to talk, than to be ghosted. That way, I don’t have to think about it, I can just move on.
Why no contact:You do it To find your magnificence again ( break ups can knock you shake you) find your stability fully on your own to restore and expand your connection back to your source of love, joy, and peace greater than you had even with them. Thats often why they return cause your energy is magnetic and you feel so good in your own frame.
You find all of yourself again
No contact is so difficult when you have left a Narcissist. The trauma bond is so strong.
Trauma bond is when you stay in the relationship with the narc
No contact is the most important rule to follow after breaking up with a narcissist.
@@jalama334 what if your assets are tied to them? cant exactly do no contact
Trust me, the more you stick to no contact the easier it gets, eventually you’ll break free, Ive been marries to a narcissist wife for 11 years and I did it
its like detoxing from a drug but it great time to relearn yourself and recognizing red flags in others
Aaron, watching your videos is like talking with a good friend that's giving me life changing advice. You're amazing, bro
At the end of the day, You are the only person who will always be there for You, even Your family, Your closest friends, Your significant other, may one day change and leave Your life. Be at peace and in love with Your own self, accomplish Your goals, and all the rest will come Your way, and You won't be afraid to ever lose them in case it ever happens. God bless You all and keep going!
Sometimes forcing yourself to not contact them could put you in a lack & desperate energy because you try to reject them in reality, but unconsciously you still attached to them. if I want to contact them I just say hi and reconnect and then i start to see their disrespectful, stale and just ordinary person. Finally you start see their true colors and you just lost interest naturally, that's when you lose all the attachment to them, you finally let go, move on, and see your worth, the ✨️magic✨️ was you and always you. Remember that.
I know this a year old comment but I have the big counter for this because I am going through it myself consistently talk to yourself or anyone else about that person reflect their red flags but when you reflect also reflect where you went wrong at such as accepting their red flags keep telling yourself the things that they told you that hurt you this will remind you to leave that person alone because if they knew it would hurt you they would not say those words or things that do, then reflect on how it was a good thing that what you wanted in the present did not happen because it would affect your present and might affect your future over time you will get over it
This is a good way. Touch it now and again seeing ones own progress.
It's letting go without pushing away. Some people think that letting go is the same thing as getting rid off.. It's not. Letting go just means that who you are no longer depends on things, people or situations outside of yourself. Becoming independent on all levels is what makes you one with existence.. You can even let someone go and still see them or talk to them. Just remember, that light feels like being in love, or the feeling you get in spring time tenfold, mixed with a constant deja vu.. everything happens as it is supposed to be.. Acceptance is the key to salvation. Nothing outside yourself determines who you are, and you determine nothing outside yourself.
I love this !! Ur right. We have a fear if we let go they will go away. But we are not pushing away. Just letting go naturally. Not forcing to keep or letting go
❤@@envyallison926
Take everything seriously. It works like a charm
Just found this video. A great point is moving on. That was my intention, not to get her back. I wanted it to work out but it didn't, I started my LLC and keep going forward.
Don't allow the person who didn't love you, keep you from the one who will.
💙UA-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
Wow this spoke to me
Spot on!
I’m going through this but with my friend. She’s not a bad person… I just feel like I’m not the star of my own movie around her. It’s felt this way for a very long time and it’s triggering me really bad because I feel like I deserve to be the main character of my movie. I need space to not compare myself to her or look at my accomplishments as minor just because they aren’t as big. My accomplishments are wonderful and they deserve the to be recognized as so.
Aaron... this video couldn't have come at a more perfect time. YOU ARE THE MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Literally two years….my case eight years and married 🙈 I also lost my home. Yes, it’s hard, but I want to let him go, he doesn’t love me and I deserve to be loved because I’m a good person. Thanks for making this video.
Dude this hits so hard
I’ve seen comments that you repeat yourself too much. Keep repeating yourself, keep posting. Do it daily. You look like me btw in female way 😂😂😂. I’m watching your videos daily, thank you for the help, I’ve been so hurt the past 10 years, now I get it
Hi.. i tried the “ignoring, no blocking” for 3 mnths. Sometimes we would look at each other’s status, and this was making me feel sick, anxious, and pain. I blocked him 5 days ago, and I’m feeling much better. I know I’m not healed at all, but the waiting, the expectation is not there anymore. Wish I started the no contact sooner. TY for the video 🙏🏽
Same here is very painful we need to be strong
The way u said the word pedestal -pedestaaaal sounds so good ...and loved ur explanation everytime
Love from India 🇮🇳♥
When she says there isn't going to be any more 2nd chances "I'm Done" is a good indicator that the toxic sex was the only thing keeping you when you get sick of the BS
Good
Riddance to her
Aaron, I just read your 'opening up' email. It was really generous of you to share that with your followers. I've noticed something different about your most recent videos - as if you weren't as grounded or balanced - and this explains it. Thanks for sharing, it helps the rest of us. I hope you're ok.
Exactly. Because at the end it is mostly about that thing: How compatible those persons are and how they progressed with their self healing and introspection. After then no manipulation is needed! It will disappear naturally.
People should remember following:
It doesn't matter what happens, YOU are loved and You are enogh!
Am I though??
@@thomasgrabowski2202 Dude, don't look for the answer on youtube but in yourself ☺have a nice day!
This was sooo helpful! I even took notes of some of your quotes. Thank you for this
I like to practice forgiveness and work on forming a degree of friendship with boundaries.
This way, neither party goes into a state of limerance and the healing process can take place. No contact can be challenging and is not for everyone. I think; boundaries and limiting in person interaction, and using “impulse control” when it comes to online interaction - are helpful in break ups.
I find when I’m healing, and moving on; if it’s someone I truly care about; going no contact can be painful. It’s like some people can’t quit smoking cold turkey. Sometimes easing away slowly and gradually reducing engagement is easier for both parties.
I totally agree with you, Aaron. Your tips work on everything. On soulmates, twin flames and all the other relationships out there. Thank you. Love and light! 🥰💖
You’re the first person that I’ve found on UA-cam that actually suggests to use the no contact rule to begin the healing process and let go. All the others talk about using the no contact rule to get your ex back by removing yourself from their life so they can miss you so they’ll reach back out to you. I’m 52 years old and in my experience, using the no contact rule to get back an ex is like wishing in one hand and crapping in the other. Which do you think will happen first? Telling people to use the no contact rule solely to get your ex back like so many other coaches on here is giving someone false hope because it works less than half the time. This guy is spot on. Use it to break those chains and heal yourself.
I’ve been the dumper myself and I have never tried to get an ex back because I left for a damn good reason. I’m currently the dumpee from a nearly 10 month relationship. We broke up almost 7 weeks ago and I will not reach out to her because she broke up with me when I did nothing wrong.
Anyway….folks, listen to this guy. He’s giving great advice. Nobody is worth waiting around on, especially if they dumped you. Use the no contact rule to start healing yourself so you can move on because that’s exactly what they’re doing. I’m going to subscribe to this channel because this is some good stuff!
My long distance boyfriend’s father forced him to break up with me and he said he wants to remain great friends though. It’s been 6 days and I’m still blocked, however I believe that during this no contact, because of the fact it never became sour or anything like that, he will message me back.
No Contact is NOT always the easiest way to move on. Let me explain. My ex broke up after 3+ years. I went into no contact for 10 months. Every day I thought of her. Missed her. Then, one day, I walked up to her at a party. She couldn’t care less. Told me bye and blocked me on the socials. After, I felt angry with her disrespecting me for the very first time. With that anger came relief. And suddenly I could see all the downside of being with her. And now I’m free. This would never have happened if I continued to be in no contact. Maybe you just gotta be you? Good luck everyone. Wishing you all the best in this world ❤
This is true I was in no contact for like 8 months then just to give it a try I contacted him again. Well he ignored me and the illusion kinda broke. But I feel like I'm truly free to move on now
Yeah sometimes "No contact" is actually an obstruction. Going no contact for a time is good, but it isn't necessary forever.
When you do the no contact, she has to be the one who reaches out. Never initiate anything. And if she doesn't, that's fine coz you already decided to focus on yourself to move on. You're happy again. You're in your good frame again. And when you're in that, you'll attract good loving people in your good loving frame. If that's her, so be it. If that's someone else, so be it as well.
@@emreyuce4800 how long have you been in no contact?
I'm stressed about a no contact rule I've applied a month ago to my ex girlfriend, because exactly of that - I know it's means to move on, not to get her back. But even though the relationship wasn't healthy, it's hard at times. When you said of how opportunities came because you let go and let them in... it spoke to me, you know. Thank you.
I don’t want him back! I need help moving on!!
Thank you for the description. Some days I don't want to watch, but to read. Thank you for providing that option.
I broke up with my gf the Monday of Thanksgiving week. It was so hard and hurt so much. She was ignoring me, and I asked if she loved me still she said she didn't think so. I was in such a deep depression, I had to let her go to save myself. A month in and I'm doing no contact and I feel myself getting stronger by the day. It still hurts, but I finally feel good about the future and know I'll be ok. I know my worth and what I deserve
Be strong anthony!
Any updates? I’m in a break up now I’m tryign to do no contact it’s so hard and I miss them. So what was the end result?
@lilsiranthony she didn't come back, but that was a blessing. I'm thriving right now, life is amazing. She is in my class and we all graduate nursing school next week so I had to deal with seeing her all the time. But I ignored her, stayed no contact and one day I just woke up and didn't think about her... when I see her, I'm still a little triggered, idt that'll go away, but overall I'm a lot happier and ready for someone who actually deserves me and my love...
It's a difficult road but you can do it and these videos definitely help. Everything will be ok! Don't look back, only forward
@@AnthonyGarcia-dr8nz congratulations on nursing school that’s amazing and a huge accomplishment. I’m actually an LVN thinking about getting my RN but we’ll see.. well me and my ex boyfriend were together for five months. The reason why we broke up was because me fighting past ghost and insecurity is a patch relationships, and I will question him accuse him, but there was no cheating involved no physical abuse or verbal abuse, is just fighting my past end, he did somethings that triggered my past but right now I’m doing therapy and listening to these videos counseling to do better but they want their space and they want their peace back and I’m just trying to respect that and I asked him does he see a future with us and he says he doesn’t know but then the week before that she told me if we work on ourselves then maybe so I don’t know what to do do I wait or do I go and thank you so much for replying
Hello@antonyGarcia
Brilliant analysis of the no contact rule.
Authentic as always. Thanks!
UA-cam suggested one of your videos to me. I usually roll my eyes at relationship videos. And too many espouse creepy ways of playing games to "get the girl/guy." I love your focus on self empowerment. Such a gift. Thank you.
Thank you so much for this! I’m on day 4 going strong and this just took my healing to a new level 🙏🏽
Any updates?
updates?
@@boilermakerr51 oh yes so I’ve been over the situation for about 2 months now. I don’t cry, i don’t have any emotions about it. I don’t speak to my ex, he recently text me with the occasional Hoover and I have not replied. My life has gotten a lot better. New stream of income added, decided on not dating anymore and being child free and traveling next year. My life has never seemed brighter. I’ve been living life foreal not worried about still trying to go no contact. My self love and respect is way too high to still be on that subject I haven’t even thought about it I’ve been too busy with my own life. Once you see clearly someone is okay with not being in your life, that is the moment you pick yourself up and choose to love your life and yourself x1000 more than anyone outside of yourself every could.
@@dvs87 just did
I experienced that no contact period with a very close girlfriend, for four months, after she ghosted me. I reduced my exchanges with her to 1 text per month, just for her birthday, or something not very important, just asking her if she was fine, and assuring her of my respect. After these four months, she called me back, and told me she have bee through great changes in her life, one period of sickness, another of sadness, and now she was getting better. She also thanked me for my messages, it helped her feeling better, though she had no strengh and will to answer.
I experienced this with someone that I was dating but things just not working out, but we could never break away and always have respect for each other, it's hard to do the no contact since we had strong attraction and bond, There is always momentum to reach out especially on winter ( i call him Snowman,lol) , just to checking in, show that we still care , and wish the best for each other.
buy that Lambo. you have probably helped so many people that you deserve a treat😊
I’m always getting corrected with my pronunciation in my comment section 😂 Another great video! Thank you for continuing to make brilliant content ✨👏
Woooow!! Ive looked at other no contact videos but this one made more sense than any of them. I felt like you were speaking directly to me.
Thank you sooo f’n much!!!!
He didn't want me anymore, so I gave him exactly wth he wanted!! He won't EVER reject me twice & I'm not degrading myself by reaching out to him EVER!
It's very hard to do in unhealthy relationship, like with NPD person cause there was some power that made me message this person, want this person, do things that don't benefited me. I didn't know about narcissism before, and my traumas and fear of abandonment too. I was an emotional puppet for quite some time until I realised, it's a very unhealthy, even dangerous situation. No contact in any breakups is necessary but in toxic this should be forever. 🤐 It works.
I've sort of implemented this. Not necessarily that she asked for space or that there were issues between us. But I find myself way too anxiously attached.
I actually did EMDR with my therapist to bring some stuff to the surface. Anyway my person is the person who has helped me to love myself more than anyone.
I'm doing this to become more secure and heal my attachment style, not to manipulate her response. Not that I need to "move on" but if this were to go beyond friendship I feel I need to be in a healthier frame.
I’m literally going through this RIGHT NOW. I wish I saw this video a month ago.
I'm glad this video popped up because I've been trying to do no contact and it wasn't really working. Now I know why because I've been looking at her social media. So I've still been giving her energy. I did see our 4 months together didn't mean a thing to her today on one of her posts. So now I'm done checking those out
Thanks for doing what you do bro , your videos helped me to understand/love myself and how important it is to just let go of the attachment in your life just offers so so much truly will change your life in so many ways .
I'm currently going through this with a friend. I don't contact her cause she wants space which is fine. I feel less tired and stressed cause I'm bringing my energy back to me. This definitely makes sense like I wanted her to miss me then the universe is like, ok what are you doing? Lol. If it is something then it is universe will take care of that at the right time.
This is good , you're lucky for having a normal life and be able to think and do anything else you want too like its something I cannot do because my brother has autism and he makes us go crazy too and not be able to sleep think or do anything else because of him you should be thankful for your life
@@محمدجمعه-ض1ل8ي I wouldn't say my life is normal at all. My life for about the last 4 months has been a tragedy between my ex dying and me taking care of 2 kids one autistic. Yes its a tragedy but life is going to have tragedies that's part of living. This friend was there for me through my ex dying, things happened but right now neither of us are ready for a relationship so it's a see how are you doing thing when SHE messages me.
@TopsyKretts It's a little bit complicated for me but yes I've heard of that plenty of times where people no contact for some certain reasons
@TopsyKretts I used to check everyday constantly if she would text me and when I would do that it would get worse. He makes a lot of sense stop wasting your energy on things you honestly can't control. So I used working out at home and/or at the gym, you have to figure out a plan then act on that. I decided to get my self in shape and when you start caring about yourself then world really does open up to you
@TopsyKretts Motivational speakers actually worked for me also. I'm not trying to advertise for him Jordan Peterson is very upfront and makes a lot of sense just like this channel
I miss that connection I once had with her. We still get on but damn it's just not there anymore 💔 tryna rid myself of that needy energy, it's so hard when you built that connection up for so long then boom it's gone
I’m on no contact going on 18 days I’m using this time to studying going to the gym and if she comes back and reconnects with me that’s a plus but I’m definitely feeling better day by day ..but I can’t deny I love her and I wish her well..
How are things going?
@@medico240 good I actually ran into her at the running track but what’s crazy is that she showed up early in the morning. She never shows up that early I’ve been running everyday since we broke up on May 3,2023. All the sudden on day 43 she’s at the track where we use to run together. I can tell she was nervous and so was I .. I know she missed me and I missed her too. But we’ll will see what comes of it ..but I’m feeling stronger thank you for asking
@@sandovalpaul thanks for the reply , I'm suffering from kind of the same thing . And it's more difficult because it's long distance 🙃
@@medico240 hey, I keep watching these NC videos for hope but I also pray , you don’t have to pray but it helps me…I watch coach Lee , Lucia and coach Kenneth Blackbookbasics….good luck and stay strong
Do it for yourself, not to get at the other person.
It works wonders & opens up many other doors.
To feel free you just need not to Desire alot...and good things Will appear. be grateful of the things you Desire before they come into your Life. Loving yourself helps a lot. Thanks 🤗
If they dont want you, just move on and let them be... if they think your not good enough, than they are actually not good enough for YOU! And if they suddenly come crawling back to you, because they didnt found anything better, do yourself a favour and dont take them back, because they didnt wanted you from the beginning and dumped you, means they are just playing you. Like a toddler playing with its doll... if they bored from it they will toss it into a corner and if they wanna play again they will take it for a while and later toss it again until they get a new, better doll. You deserve better than that.
Crazy you uploaded this perfect timing !
Aaron, I just can’t thank you enough, you make such an amazing content, that literally changed my life for the better in many ways, watching you go your own journey yourself is so inspiring. Thank you, Shana tova (happy new year) Ayelet
I don't want his crumbs. I just want my power and energy back. I have insecure anxious/avoidant style, and he plays me like a game. I trusted him and told him all my insecurities and past trauma. And now he subtly uses it all against me. He makes me feel absolutely worthless.
I just want to be free from the addiction to his texts, approval, and hot and cold behaviour.
I want to be happy again.
Thanks!!❤😂
You helped me heal Aaron! thank you!
Make the dumper work for it! Don’t just let them back in without proving they want it
I like your consistency....very good!
Congrats dude, you're videos are so good
I'm in a unique situation. I have no family or friends. So focusing on myself without any human contact is pretty empty.
Hi Aaron..I am Hema from India...Thank u so much...
Man I really needed to hear this !
I done this and felt my body rewiring on the third day...I am amazed at this detox from dopamine i am not even thinking about him .He texed me yesterday and this morning and i dont know what has happened to me ...something has shifted in me.... Now i need to think about what i want what i dont want....thankyou...thankyou ..thankyou.. Aaron
I like your videos and they’re helpful! Thanks a lot bro
I broke up with my ex bf 4 days ago because I couldn't have imagined he was still talking to other ladies from time to time and he was always spending his 3 days off to meet and staying with his friends house and for the time he was replying to my take messages took time. Now I focused on myself and my job and even sometimes I missed him but I control myself not to contact him.
Best decision. Value yourself. Work out on yourself and don’t take nonsense from anyone. Don’t wait and waste your time someone who is running after other girls. Don’t became second option for him. Take break from the all relationships. Be yourself and put the energy to your goals.
Thanks Aaron been watching you for years you are amazing.
I met him online and he showed interest in me for over one month and a half, but as time passed, I felt him slipping away. I decided to forget about him, and now it has been four days since we haven't spoken. It's very challenging, but I think I can manage it. 😢
Love the video brother
My gf told me she wanted to move in with her friends and be independent for a bit. We were perfect soulmates that never had a big issue in the relationship except our individual problems. I just let her go but I truly believe she’s the one. Hopefully applying no contact and giving her space, she will reflect and come back.
@whattsapphim-vh6rt who is this man?
Literally going through the same thing almost word for word with a few exceptions.
How is it going?
@@fireblade8905 we’re on good terms and are hanging out again. I’m taking this as a big step but I’m gonna take things as slow as possible. Maybe see her once or twice a month.
Sounds like me!
You are a life saver❤
A L isn’t a loss
L= lesson ASE🎯♾
My man of almost two years and I We were so loving to each other all the time , waking up next to him was something I thought we were meant for each other…our problem was his trauma and gambling. So he went to rehab and then the plan was us moving to Phoenix and start fresh but he broke up with me in recovery. It’s hard bc we had a good thing going on. Of course we had our trouble but most of the time it was beautiful and goofy.
This really really resonated with me. But after 24 years of marriage how the heck do I do this?? I feel like I may need to do some sort of energy cord cutting or something
yes
Truth. I also cannot figure it all out. 28 years married, separated over 2 years ago, still not divorced. 2 kids together, one who still needs rides from school. I just want to fix this ,
OR forget the past even existed. 😢 Arrrgh !!!! They all say 'let it go' , or say 'move on' Really ! Really?
Peace to you🙏🌼
@@nicholasmonsarrat719 Thanks for sharing. I can completely relate. I am also separated but it's only been 3 months. I don't know where it will lead me, but it makes me feel very stuck at the moment. We have one daughter together, but she's already left home.
Just walk away. It will save your life .
Best video everrr 🤩🔥
I love this. Makes so much sense. But what if it’s her birthday??? 😢
Maintain the no contact, I know it's hard. She expects you to text to see if she's still on your mind, don't
Hahahaha, then u dont say shyt lol 😂
Dude, This is safe to say that This is a disgrace to your grief by breaking no contact.
The bitch decided to be out of your life. So Let her be.
Fuck her birthday
More importantly- what if it’s my birthday - cutie Leonardo ❤
I’m doing so much things wrong in my marriage. I watching allot of your videos and them i’m like yes! I will use this and this! But in the end i’m still texting her and asking for attention and and validation.. and do everything to proof myself to her. ( our marriage is in a bad place right now and We having break)
I keep breaking no contact, and yet all i want in the world rn is to be over him. I can't let go but don't want to be with him.
Yes so true ❤
Thanks Aaron
The best👍👏🥰
The truth is Aaron I can ignite a gang attack on myself in any groups of people, work school residence and friends and family. Everybody lust for trapping me. Once social media became our reality the level of my participation created a panic for the sociopaths, how will they maintain pushing my buttons if I now have the opportunity to create my own details of my character. The most recent trigger has set me a permanent drift from my immediate family, I will be alone for all future holidays until I meet my husband and create this new circle of people.
Great information
Thank you
I might have taken it too far and deleted them from my social media 😬
It's hard when you come out of a 10 year relationship with kids
Exactly why dating apps don’t work!
I want that shirt
This is all really great and I agree but what about if you have kids with them?
Thank you Aaron
Thank youu!!!! 💞
After knowing each other for 5 years, I was ghosted by him 7 months ago. Hopeless
JoJo ghosting means he’s a coward. Don’t hold on energetically to people that dont Love,care or respect you.
It’s usually a problem with themselves not loving or respecting them self
@@jalama334 i don't think it's that. He always thought he is the best and even called me stupid and boring🥺
Oh God, if he ghosted you and called you stupid and boring, believe me: you dodged a bullet honey. He wasn’t a good man and definitely not the man for you. The best is yet to come. ❤
@@nicolebjn boring because I didn't feel like going to a shisha bar on the last meeting with him and stupid because I am vegetarian.
But it hurts so much. I am someone who needs closure so much. Just saying goodbye to him would be enough instead of just being ghosted. What should I do now 😣
How can I detach when I share a daughter with her and wanting her to come back?
This is what happened to me: I was obsessed with a guy for years, I tried the no contact for weeks, one month .. but I always ended up reaching out , when I actually stopped to care about him he could understand by the energy in texts and he tried everything to kept me bounded to him, for the first time! but I didn’t care, and was the only time he tried, before when I wanted him he didn’t care. The problem is that now I’m in love with another man that for many different reasons doesn’t want to stay or try with me anymore.. so I decided to let go him, because the pain is too much, I’m not doing to have him come back, because I know he will not do it, but I feel better because I stopped to beg for the love he doesn’t want to give me anymore