That was a really interesting exercise Damon.l found actually a positive internal state change by just shaking. l was conscious of holding my breath,something l tend to do around certain memories.The visual memory wasnt really there during the exercise, the kinastetic ones were. No emotional overwhelm which is rather interesting. 🤔 The visual memories are here now but my reaction are not of fear. Youll have me fixed in no time!!😄
Thank you so much!! I needed this so bad. Thank you! I felt like this fear held me and I just couldn't start a new project I had wanted to create for so long because of the past failures.
Fear causes me to avoid things that I need to do to move forward. And the fear is really irrational in my opinion. It's not a fear as in anything that is dangerous that I should fear. It's a fear of taking charge and dealing with highly charged emotional people.
I have viewed and re-viewed many of your videos, but the timing and content of this one is a fn bell ringer for me, for reasons I don’t have time to explain right now lol. Thank you!
In 2013 Horwitz said, "Fear is anxiety attached to a specific thing or circumstance" If we believe Horwitz, would your strategies also work for anxiety or would you suggest something else for a client?
Good question. Anxiety is fear that you carry with you and has become habitual. I use the metaphor of an alarm clock. Fear is just there to alert you to possible danger just like an alarm clock is there to wake you up. However, once you've been alerted to the possible danger, you can let the fear go and assess the possible threat so you can decide whether or not to do something about it. Many people though will carry the fear around because they're afraid they might forget to be afraid. This just compounds the fear and usually cripples you from doing anything about it. It's like carrying your beeping alarm clock around with you all day just in case you fall asleep. This solution can work for if the anxiety is attached to a specific context or thing. It probably won't work if there's a deep rooted predisposition for anxiety like when people identify with their anxiety. The only way to know if it works is to test it. The good part is that this solution has no harmful side effects.
I had a fear of public speaking...if someone suddenly point out to me to read or talk to the public... My whole body is tight up, if i try to speak there's no word coming out, its tough... How can i solve? Can you help me
I look forward to trying this. Question. Is it realistic to think you can completely get rid of performance anxiety? Obviously, we can learn to reframe/shift the meaning along with processing the fears and addressing self-concept... I guess I just wonder if some level of jitters or pre-performance anxiety might always be there.
The goal should never be perfection. The goal should be to be able to do what it is you want to do without fear stopping you. If your focus is on 100% eliminating the fear, which is possible, your focus is then on the fear. You're telling your mind to sort information for fear. Not only are you likely to find it, since you're so focused on it, it will take up so much of your attention that it will continue to limit you. It's definitely possible to eliminate the fear completely but it's not likely and it might not even serve you. There are plenty of things that I do that brings up fear, but I don't let the fear stop me.
Life Mastery Gym that’s such a helpful way of looking at that. I guess I was slightly blinded by the fact that fear had taken the focus to begin with. Great food for thought. Thanks!
I just came out as bisexual and my fears of rejection by friends and family came true. I am scheduled to go to the Philippines to meet someone the I have been talking to for over 4 months. Since I purchased my ticket I have started accusing them of cheating and I know that they are not. This has caused us problems. But the fear are there. I feel that I am dealing with the fear of the unknown. I really want to overcome this and I need help please. I don’t want to ruin what I have with this person.
I don't see the point of fear, I am highly aware of what is a danger for example that I shouldn't walk on the train tracks or jump from a 10story building, I'm educated to know that won't end well , therefore why is fear needed? The only time I feel fear now is in unnecessary situations and I end up looking like an idiot, usually in social situations. Literally leaving my home to got to school for me can include so much fear that it's as if I'm going out to fight a t-rex, every day, by day, except im not fighting a t-rex therefore I will never be able to defeat it, but it's still there.
Instead of resisting the fear, get acquainted with it. It's not trying to harm you. It's trying to keep you safe even if it's not appropriate. It's not going to go away by wishing it away. The part that's afraid needs to be integrated with the rest of you. The only way to do that is to connect with it and find out what will satisfy it.
@@_Michal_Michal_ The only way to do that is to know what intention or value (same thing) the fear is trying to fulfill. Ask it. Ask the fear what it's trying to do for you in positive way. Assume it has a positive intent and listen to it. If it states it in the negative as in "I don't want....", ask it what it wants instead. Get it stated in the positive. "I don't want you to get hurt." What do you want instead? "I want you to be safe." What will being safe do for you? Elicit the values behind the fear and then think of strategies and ways in which you can fulfill those values. This will satisfy the fear. You're not really have a fear problem. You're having a lack of clarity problem that's creating fear.
@@DamonCart that's true, and I'll tell you what one of my greatest fears is, sounds funny and stupid I know, but I'll say it, it's that I'm always scared I will feel sick and throw up, it started last year, but whenever I try hard not to get that sensation and the harder I try the worst it gets, I watched a video recently, it was about the reverse effect or something along those lines, that the harder we focus on achieving something (i.e. me trying to stop the sensation of feeling sick) the harder it will be to achieve and it will have opposite effects. Instead I heard we should focus less and it won't be a problem as our worries aren't necessary to be directed towards every single insecurity.
@@_Michal_Michal_ in general yes, but how do you stop fixating on it? Usually you have to satisfy the intention of the fear or it will keep presenting itself so that you fixate on it.
Check out this FREE Assessment and find out what are your core values!
www.selfconcept.com/?Sep26th-2020&
When you become fearless, life become limitless!
Indeed!
Lol😂😂 I voluntarily re-enacted fear response so well that it started looking very very funny almost comical. And I started laughing 😂
I am going to apply this technique! Seems very simple yet, useful. Thank you 🙏🏻
You're welcome. Let me know how it goes.
That was a really interesting exercise Damon.l found actually a positive internal state change by just shaking. l was conscious of holding my breath,something l tend to do around certain memories.The visual memory wasnt really there during the exercise, the kinastetic ones were.
No emotional overwhelm which is rather interesting. 🤔
The visual memories are here now but my reaction are not of fear.
Youll have me fixed in no time!!😄
Wonderful. Glad to hear it. Thank you for commenting.
This is fascinating, and makes sense my way of thinking. Thank you Damon !
You're welcome.
Thank you so much!! I needed this so bad. Thank you! I felt like this fear held me and I just couldn't start a new project I had wanted to create for so long because of the past failures.
You're so welcome!
Fear causes me to avoid things that I need to do to move forward. And the fear is really irrational in my opinion. It's not a fear as in anything that is dangerous that I should fear. It's a fear of taking charge and dealing with highly charged emotional people.
I have viewed and re-viewed many of your videos, but the timing and content of this one is a fn bell ringer for me, for reasons I don’t have time to explain right now lol. Thank you!
You're welcome. Come back and explain when you have more time. Thank you for your comment.
Thank you Damon. This is amazing advice, thank you
My pleasure.
great vid, thankyou brotha
You bet
Amazing ❤
Thank you.
In 2013 Horwitz said, "Fear is anxiety attached to a specific thing or circumstance" If we believe Horwitz, would your strategies also work for anxiety or would you suggest something else for a client?
Good question. Anxiety is fear that you carry with you and has become habitual. I use the metaphor of an alarm clock. Fear is just there to alert you to possible danger just like an alarm clock is there to wake you up. However, once you've been alerted to the possible danger, you can let the fear go and assess the possible threat so you can decide whether or not to do something about it. Many people though will carry the fear around because they're afraid they might forget to be afraid. This just compounds the fear and usually cripples you from doing anything about it. It's like carrying your beeping alarm clock around with you all day just in case you fall asleep.
This solution can work for if the anxiety is attached to a specific context or thing. It probably won't work if there's a deep rooted predisposition for anxiety like when people identify with their anxiety.
The only way to know if it works is to test it. The good part is that this solution has no harmful side effects.
I had a fear of public speaking...if someone suddenly point out to me to read or talk to the public... My whole body is tight up, if i try to speak there's no word coming out, its tough... How can i solve? Can you help me
Have you tried the steps in the video?
Sir any nlp techniques to detach from. Loved one I don't want forget her just detach from thinking about her always
This is an older video I did but the information is still relevant.
ua-cam.com/video/Bbx696KeNaI/v-deo.html
@@DamonCart thank you so much ❤
I look forward to trying this. Question. Is it realistic to think you can completely get rid of performance anxiety? Obviously, we can learn to reframe/shift the meaning along with processing the fears and addressing self-concept... I guess I just wonder if some level of jitters or pre-performance anxiety might always be there.
The goal should never be perfection. The goal should be to be able to do what it is you want to do without fear stopping you. If your focus is on 100% eliminating the fear, which is possible, your focus is then on the fear. You're telling your mind to sort information for fear. Not only are you likely to find it, since you're so focused on it, it will take up so much of your attention that it will continue to limit you. It's definitely possible to eliminate the fear completely but it's not likely and it might not even serve you. There are plenty of things that I do that brings up fear, but I don't let the fear stop me.
Life Mastery Gym that’s such a helpful way of looking at that. I guess I was slightly blinded by the fact that fear had taken the focus to begin with. Great food for thought. Thanks!
@@MamaTerraSantos you're welcome.
Fear of migraine headache, because this happens often.
And Fear of ill health and Fear of death. Even though there's no real situation.
Interesting. Did you apply these steps to these fears?
I just came out as bisexual and my fears of rejection by friends and family came true. I am scheduled to go to the Philippines to meet someone the I have been talking to for over 4 months. Since I purchased my ticket I have started accusing them of cheating and I know that they are not. This has caused us problems. But the fear are there. I feel that I am dealing with the fear of the unknown. I really want to overcome this and I need help please.
I don’t want to ruin what I have with this person.
Follow what I show you in this video and my other videos I've made about fear.
Be true to yourself and you can't go wrong.
Before I was driving normally but now I feel fear of falling on high roads .. please help 3 year I have this fear
Try the NLP Fast Phobia Process.
Fear of loss, in trading,
Situation is abstract.
How to overcome this
Yes we're actually working on this as a project with traders in out group coaching program. Let me know if you're interested.
I know driving car but I have fear .when someone beside me I drive but when I alone fear to take car also how to overcome from fear
Unfortunately I'm not quite sure what you mean. Would you restate it?
I know how to drive car but I have fear to drive as single
How to overcome this fear
@@narsimhareddy1391 did you try the process I describe in the video?
Thanks a lot I watch 5 times I understood what you said 1)oppose fear Face fear do it go ahead 2)breath 3)try it
Fear is holding me back from putting myself out there and trying to connect with my estranged father.
Fear of what exactly?
Life Mastery Gym good question, I don’t know
@@caymant8959 That will be the first step in doing something about it.
I have fear of public speaking because of stammering. How to overcome
It really depends on what the source of the problem is. If you're interested in coaching you can email me at damon@selfconcept.com
Fear to do work
And the video you referenced is not easily found in the myriad of links :-P
No pain no gain ; )
I literally couldn’t find it; which one were you referring to?
@@carmenmcdonald9919 I think it's this one: ua-cam.com/video/M8zS2HBPK6U/v-deo.html
Sir I have a fear of knife that I can harm to myself or my daughter I saw cid serial and I generalized situation on me
Bad images formed in my mind
I don't see the point of fear, I am highly aware of what is a danger for example that I shouldn't walk on the train tracks or jump from a 10story building, I'm educated to know that won't end well , therefore why is fear needed? The only time I feel fear now is in unnecessary situations and I end up looking like an idiot, usually in social situations. Literally leaving my home to got to school for me can include so much fear that it's as if I'm going out to fight a t-rex, every day, by day, except im not fighting a t-rex therefore I will never be able to defeat it, but it's still there.
Instead of resisting the fear, get acquainted with it. It's not trying to harm you. It's trying to keep you safe even if it's not appropriate. It's not going to go away by wishing it away. The part that's afraid needs to be integrated with the rest of you. The only way to do that is to connect with it and find out what will satisfy it.
@@DamonCart yes, satisfy indeed, but how is the question?
@@_Michal_Michal_ The only way to do that is to know what intention or value (same thing) the fear is trying to fulfill. Ask it. Ask the fear what it's trying to do for you in positive way. Assume it has a positive intent and listen to it. If it states it in the negative as in "I don't want....", ask it what it wants instead. Get it stated in the positive. "I don't want you to get hurt." What do you want instead? "I want you to be safe." What will being safe do for you?
Elicit the values behind the fear and then think of strategies and ways in which you can fulfill those values. This will satisfy the fear.
You're not really have a fear problem. You're having a lack of clarity problem that's creating fear.
@@DamonCart that's true, and I'll tell you what one of my greatest fears is, sounds funny and stupid I know, but I'll say it, it's that I'm always scared I will feel sick and throw up, it started last year, but whenever I try hard not to get that sensation and the harder I try the worst it gets, I watched a video recently, it was about the reverse effect or something along those lines, that the harder we focus on achieving something (i.e. me trying to stop the sensation of feeling sick) the harder it will be to achieve and it will have opposite effects. Instead I heard we should focus less and it won't be a problem as our worries aren't necessary to be directed towards every single insecurity.
@@_Michal_Michal_ in general yes, but how do you stop fixating on it? Usually you have to satisfy the intention of the fear or it will keep presenting itself so that you fixate on it.