A Job for the Rift Cartel | ERU ASMR
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- Опубліковано 9 лип 2024
- You find yourself meeting with the head of a new organization who has a very important job for you.
00:00:00 A brief history
00:01:00 A crinkly introduction
00:04:52 Just a few questions
00:05:39 Why should we hire you?
00:08:45 The Job
00:15:37 The Package
00:20:39 Item 1
00:22:34 Track jacket sounds
00:23:06 Item 2
00:25:08 Item 3
00:26:48 Item 4
00:31:40 Item 5
00:33:18 Item 6
00:35:45 Item 7
00:37:11 Item 8
00:40:11 Item 9
00:42:33 Item 10
00:45:23 Item 11
00:47:54 Item 12
00:49:44 Item 13
00:51:48 Item 14
00:54:08 Item 15
00:56:16 Item 16
00:58:19 Packing it back up
00:59:37 Sending you off
01:01:30 The Lieutenant
About the ERU ► ephemeralrift.com/eru-the-eph...
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ua-cam.com/users/EphemeralRi...
Listen to select audio works outside of UA-cam:
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iTunes ► / ephemeral-rift
Podcast Links:
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Libsyn ► ephmeralriftpodcast.libsyn.com/
RSS ► ephmeralriftpodcast.libsyn.co...
Website ► ephemeralrift.com
Patreon ► / ephemeralrift - Комедії
The Rift Cartel; such a great name it sounds like it could actually exist.
Who said it didn’t.
@@synergy6035 just what I was gonna say
Thinking about Rifa from SA
It already exists. Its a Moroccan cartel
666 likes and there was 6 comments but now it is 7
Anyone else half expected uncle ER to say "these are their stories-" at the end of the intro as if it were an episode of Law and Order?
NO IT REALLY SOUNDED LIKE THAT
I kinda did lol
I was waiting for some ASMR-friendly "DUN DUN" and a title card.
@@user-rk5fq1nk2j relatable
@@vfxsyko same
ER is, without any doubt, the GOAT of the ASMR community.
Him and MassageASMR are my asmr goats.
BIG FACTS!
Can y'all people tell me what does goat stands for or what does it mean? I know it's the animal but I don't know the meaning in the other use of the word, can y'all explain me please :D?
@@quetiteva717 It's an acronym for Greatest Of All Time
@@quetiteva717 Greatest Of All Time 🐐
My guy really found a fishing reel at a flee market and was like: "This is perfect for my cartel video!"
Ha lol
Souns like a cat purring
Item 9 is the bee’s knees.
Idk how did asmr like do this to your body and your head feels werid
facts bro 😂most underrated comment ive seen ever
Can we get a video length version of that opening, just er talking about deep rooted corruption in the modern world in asmr
I feel like papa rift might get suicided if he dropped truth like that on a more reg basis
Imagine the DEA busting down his door confiscating the pounds of pure uncut tingles.
We all know they'll be unable to control their desires to snort some tingles themselves.
but they do it in quiet asmr fashion
the TEA
this comment has dr t vibes
I would be so sad :(
This guys creativity is literally endless
And i believe we have seen nothing yet
What isn't creative is people making this same kind of comment on literally every video he posts.
@@Gotmilk0112 Wherefore might not but thee misprise?
Yep
He’s just pulling ideas from the idea void dude
After watching for almost a decade, you can just talk about anything and it gives me ASMR
You've been successfully conditioned 😌
Dude. It just occurred to me that I’ve been watching this guy since 2011-2012. Holy heck.
@@No1TypeC was just about to say that
The cut he had to make after saying “what’s so funny” while holding up the my little pony backpack I just know he cracked up and broke character
So there is two things possible, either rift has a child that has a my little pony backpack. Or rift went out and bought a pony backpack which is a power move and probably the coolest scenario.
iirc he does have a kid, but it's more like Uncle E to do the second option at this point
Ya, pretty sure the only kid he's mentioned is a young son
His son is teenaged, like 13 now I thibk
This is Fluttershy. She has a lot of security issues. Just like that NWO checkpoint after we detonate the C4
@@datboi2250 pfft
I was totally expecting to hear the Law&Order "dun-dun!" at the end of the intro. :D
Glad I wasn’t the only one. Rift eerily sounded like the narrator’s voice.
Right exactly
Pog for the backpack. Couldn't stop laughing.
Watched this show when i was a kid and it brings back a lot of weirdly warm memories.
I still watch it and I'm 22
Show?
@@GeneralRosity My Little Pony
pog?
@@3LZ0RR0 Pog!
Rift spends a couple weeks doing normal voice / louder whispers just to hit is with that absolute banger. He’s the goat of quiet whisper asmr.
As a Russian, I deeply respect this three-stripes Adidas jacket
Tri poloski hardbass tusovki
You mean *We deeply respect this*
Я мы абибас
ДВФ скачал из нот восемь спать ай Андестенд ту историю отделяющая Одессу я
@@bensoontm5244 No, probably not. Soviet Russia is gone :'(
Just a typical tea maker in Saint Petersburg.
I do enjoy some Saint Pete's salt in the morning
Chefir moment
This guy’s creativity is endless.
The universe could end and he’d make a “restaurant at the end of the universe” asmr
He already did ;)
@@Rallahpenious you know what, I’m not even surprised at this point
Yup there's already a video like that
"Princess Luna is best pony."
Ah, I see you're a man of Culture as well.
I stand with our Princess of the Night.
For the New Lunar Republic!
Ah, I see the world is rather small
That intro was bad ass...it was so simple but it was well spoken. Felt like I was getting ready to watch a gritty documentary on the History Channel. Love it.
hey Rift i just had a thought
how about a Reality Affirming ASMR
you could explain how objects are just what they are and that they are nothing strange or out of this world
of deviant purpose
i thought that might be interesting
cheers if you read this
Sounds amazing, +10000 plz pretty plz do this. Part of the experience would be describing the object to affirm its reality.
Rift: "My favorite pony is... Princess Luna"
A MAN OF TASTES! A MAN OF CULTURE!
Shoutout to Rift himself, not only he created a high quality piece, but he also made the subtitles... 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗿-𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝘃𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗼.
That's sick.
even if i've already spotted multiple of them being wrong, that's quite allot of work. they can't all be winners but, it was mostly on point
Hell of a lot better than the default UA-cam ones for sure
this man is the only asmrtist that can make asmr sound illegal
I'm sure there are others... Not that I can name any
“Did you know I can give myself tingles by just doing that….no I can’t, I just say it because it sounds cool.”
Yup, this is a pretty serious cartel we’re dealing with
I started wheezing when he pulled up the backpack and when he said "whats so funny" i responded like "nothing sir nothing is funny"
Oh, I absolutely LOVED the new approach to the intro in this one. So cool.
At this point I'm legit terrified of what the day uncle E runs out of idea's would mean for our fragile reality
The intro is so relaxing I really enjoy his soft spoken !
Nobody can copy this man, not even close. His creativity is untouchable.
My final wish in this life is to have ephemeral rift give me my last tingles before closing my eyes for the last time. You can not find a more peaceful way to die.
Bit macabre but you do you, man
Epic
Best hospice care imaginable.
I really liked the intro to this- Rift has a great narrating voice too! Plus the historic context is a good way to set up a video.
Jesse, I am trying to have a good night's sleep. We need to experience ASMR.
Hideo Kojima 🥺 I love snake
aaaaaahhhh... wire
This man's writing, directing, acting, and production are all next level
Imagine... If you will... Uncle E you're the man.
It's not only supreme quality Asmr, being delivered by your videos. It's a universe of entertainment. And that's why your channel is by far the best out there! I really enjoy your stuff for a decade now... And wanna say thank you!
Rift talking about My Little Pony and actually knowing the characters felt surreal to me as an ex-brony it's so weird when someone else you don't expect knows about the show lmao.
Just thinking that the pony craze was 10 years ago makes me feel so fucking old
@@stocchinet we’re old men now 😂
he tought himself about the fucking my little pony universe as a joke. love itxD
or maybe he watched MLP which y'know, kudos to him
Maybe he's a Brony?
@@innerspaceways haven’t heard that word in so fucking long. Takes me back to 2010s
He has children ya know 💀
@@rickybobbylarge1059 yeah but a son not a daughter
The intro on this was astounding!! I'd love to see more of that narration in future vids!!
For the New Lunar Republic!
Nice, another follower of the Best Pony, our Princess of the Night.
Bruh the quality of that intro though, and the lore in this one, its all just so good.
why does his hat move when you shake your phone
Odd, and unexpected...
Best tingles Ive gotten in an insanely long time, wow. Didnt know I could still tingle. Thank YOU for making the relaxation and intriguing entertainment possible. 💙
Вот это я понимаю - чёткий ASMR-контент. Могёте, дядя E, внатуре.
Ваще. Умеете, что тут сказать.
Уважуха таким конкретно творческим пацанам и мужикам.
Респектабельный дед.
Годный контент подъехал
Рюкзак с Май Литтл Пони добавляет чёткости.
It's good to be a long-term appreciator of Papa Rift's work because anyone else would be wildly caught off guard by their resident ASMRtist going off into a Brony moment.
You’re one of a kind, you turn things into art that you never thought could be turned into art.
I go on a huge Soprano’s rewatch and then he puts this out, how does he know!?
Missed opportunity to name every law enforcement there is, imagine ER saying are you NCIS *insert state*, Amy, navy, and the video is just that on its own then at the end he's like ok your clean, welcome.
[Edit]
ER pulls out MLP bag....nvm this is perfection
0:00-1:00 Having heard this I think E would make a very good horror story channel. Vocally, there is nothing this man cannot do…
I am loving the bit of history part in the begining. Great Job, thank you very much.
It always makes my day better when ER uploads
9:38 I was peacefully listening only to suddenly have to look when out of nowhere he was talking about MLP lol
Good show
Well he has done it once again. The moment we think the well is drying up, my Dude comes back at us to show us he is still, the one and only, overruling, Creativity Cartel.
I loved the intro! I hope they become regular parts of your videos
I could listen to this man read a book and sleep like the dead. His voice is just too soothing
The new Peaky Blinders episodes is looking different, and I’m all for this change in production
That intro with the historical stuff was so good, can we please get a whole video of something similar
Man i just love your vids sm, great way to fall asleep ready to start my next week !! :D
Came for the thumbnail and the inhumane levels of excitement I get when ER drops a new video
Dude, the opening scene is a great idea
I doubt you’re running low on ideas, but as a humble viewer I’d say it’d be really cool and relaxing for you to make an informational asmr video, in a similar fashion as the opening scene. But about whatever topic you want. Your videos are relaxing, but it’d be better if it was relaxing and interesting.
who says they're not interesting
@@fordsrest couldn'tve said it better
idk man read wikipedia while listening asmr
Something a little similar was the languages video he did a couple months back. It's not the exact voice he did, but it was just telling us information via words from different languages. I loved it.
well I guess educational would be a better word for it.
And wtf I complemented one of his new ideas, suggested he make more of it in the small chance he sees this and people got defensive I was making positive feedback lmao
Yeah I’d love to help you move all these objects!
However, I don’t seem to have any pockets, so, what should I do?
why is george W bush watching this video?
Do you have hands?
Step 1: bend over
Mr. President surely that classic two-piece suit has a few pockets to spare!
Yaaayy I've been subscribed to you for a long time now and I'm so happy to see you reach a million subscribers. Let's make it 10 million.
King of sounds.
Love you. Missed you!
Ailly
Your voice is so deep and satisfying
I was unaware you can smuggle tingles. The more you know.
only dude that never runs out of content
Never seize to amaze me rift 3 years being here and still amazing.
Ps. I like the intro describing what's going on a good mood setter.
So what you're saying is....you're Tingle Trafficers...
And given the MLP backpack...I am now convinced that the hat in this video is another mind control experiment from the Professor and it seems like poor Benjamin was the test subject. Think about it. Benjamin has been gone for a while, and now this random cartel leader has an MLP backpack and knows them.
"Daddy! Wheres my school bag! I need it now!"
Rift "oh Shit"
thank you Uncle ER!! for the captions, not even just auto generated ones, but real ones… thank you.
*I like his style, whisper, slow, quiet... very relaxing for my sleep, Thanks for video, Sir!* 👍👍👍
The only thing that intro was missing was a gavel sound and Executive Producer Dick Wolf.
maybev we get another video of "Rift & ASMR" *law&oder-sound*
Funny. I've been listening to Egyptian flute music for about a week now.
i just have to tell you how much i love your username and profile pic lmao
definitely one of my fav vids by ER
Okay not gonna lie I love the little intro bit sets the tone wonderfully it does!
Oh wow early af. I LOVE YOUR CONTENT SO MUCH!!
Yay,
moon sat down, & just in time for sleep -c-
One of my favorite AsmrArtists with a new video. :)
This guys asmr videos are gonna put me on a watch list
Relaxed.
Me: Let's listen to some tingle drug Lord while trying to sleep
Rift: Do you have a problem with friendship magic?
Me: ... Excuse me?
Rift: *lists My Little Pony characters*
Me: *Wheeze* I'm not sleeping tonight
I was almost asleep when he pulled out the backpack lol
my favorite pony is Fluttershy💖💖
@@queenofthelizards9916 *Shutterstock Watermark*
this is my new fav asmr video
Absolute Banger
I didn’t expect to see Corvus at the end, for some reason 😂
Same and oh my goodness taking over the Cartel?! You've got to be kidding me! XD
Does this mean we’re….
Asmr gangsters
tinglenals
@@Thanadeez tinglooms?
Tingled Men.
I prefer the term Tingle Dealer but Asmr Gangster works either way
Your opening was BRAVO. 👏
Really needed this ASMR to kinda relax my mind from my thoughts
I love that hand drill. Feels like it’s been ages since I last heard it. I got so excited when you pulled it out.
i love smuggling ilegal substances in my mlp backpack
Congrats on 1 mil!
This is so interesting. I haven't come across someone who reads interesting past and present facts in a long time.
nah but is no one talking about how good ER is at doing voice-overs???
We need a part 2 vid of him either getting caught trying to smuggle it or him delivering the smuggled item!
Thanks for a little history lesson at the beginning
The intro was so good i almost thought he was a professional voice actor
*"Do you know who any of these ponies are? What their names are?"*
N-no, of course not... why would I know anything about that show...
Uncle E's favorite pony is Luna?
A man of culture
The start gives me metal gear solid vibes. Good job!
The amount of references in one video is crazy
As another relaxation channel, I can say that this channel is creative, deep relaxation is guaranteed😴❤️
Sneaky self-promo. Your profile pic is very protocol-like, not very relaxation-inducing. Maybe look into that?
I find the Rift Cartel hilarious as well as MLB being a cartel
I love that you put the PMRC in there, too funny!
amazing just amazing 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 more like these please !!!!