My Ex Is Pulling Away Again!

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  • Опубліковано 26 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 111

  • @ClayAndrews
    @ClayAndrews  4 роки тому +12

    Thanks for watching this video. I hope you're doing well with everything happening in the world these days.

    • @ioanalee3223
      @ioanalee3223 4 роки тому

      @Clay Andrews After completing NC for 30 days, my ex reached out. We have been talking daily but one day he stopped reaching out, so i reached out first, turns out he was upset about something as i suspected. That is why i didn't mind reaching out first. I apologized since it was my fault and we have been talking daily since. But last week he just stopped talking to me and it has been almost a week. We had a decent chat before he stopped the following day (no arguments), he was telling me that he was happy when hes around me. I don't get why he suddenly went quiet.
      What do i do? Do i wait until he reaches out or should i wait a little longer before reaching out?

  • @alejandrosolves7749
    @alejandrosolves7749 3 роки тому +9

    I really hope the algorithm helps you out. You've been very important to my breakup and complete distress. Ty

  • @leighmiller7047
    @leighmiller7047 4 роки тому +21

    Thank you. I'm literaly dealing with my ex pulling away again. I know part of it, but part of it is also something I dont understand.

  • @anish4651
    @anish4651 2 роки тому +4

    I always turn into a desperate needy person whenever I interact with my ex I need to let go I think it’s better than trying to hold back emotions for someone who doesn’t appreciate my effort or emotions someone will appreciate them one day hopefully they come soon before my ex plays more mind games then gets mad at me for being confused

  • @monicap3363
    @monicap3363 Рік тому +3

    I just wanna die. I cant stand this anymore. One day things are ok, Next days he desapears. Im feeling sick and Panic.

    • @tankthearc9875
      @tankthearc9875 4 місяці тому

      they are avoidant , what works is when you act like you are ready to move on and treat them indifferent

  • @jakejimenez7973
    @jakejimenez7973 2 роки тому +3

    She was the one initiating contact most of the time and she would get mad if I didn’t reply soon things were going so well we were literally planning a vacation together and then boom she’s Gone won’t talk to me like wtf I’m really hurt I’d rather just tell me the truth

    • @foreigneverything2642
      @foreigneverything2642 9 місяців тому

      Right!....just tell me the truth...and save that "don't wanna hurt my feelings" crap bcuz that's bs, you broke up with me, hurt my feelings already with that, so just tell me the truth bcuz I feel like people leave a person and they have someone else ...it's too easy for them to go missing

    • @tankthearc9875
      @tankthearc9875 4 місяці тому

      many time its not someone else they re avoidant and get scared

  • @christinemcwaters5186
    @christinemcwaters5186 4 роки тому +18

    I believe in my experience I'm getting more positive pullbacks than anything. When we start to get closer he shuts down then I start basic again. With a little bit at a time and limit how often I see or speak to him. Feel it's riding the dragon phase. Overall progress seems to be going in the direction I want. A couple months ago we didn't speak at all and it's steadily gotten deeper, closer, more frequent, open and intimate. I will tell you, focusing on what I'm learning in your videos is what has gotten me here. Thanks! We aren't back together but I know if I call or text he will respond. We can talk about deep things and he reaches out if I don't. I'm steadily working on things I learn in your videos and it keeps getting better between us as in our relationship and I feel like I'm helping him grow while I am doing the same. So grateful for your videos!!

    • @n26c88
      @n26c88 3 роки тому +2

      Any progress on your situation? Im in a similar place now

    • @christinemcwaters5186
      @christinemcwaters5186 3 роки тому +2

      @@n26c88 Yes. It's taken a lot of work and time but my situation has changed massively. We are not back together but I see it for our future. Things don't change over night. Keep working and listening to videos.

    • @tonyascott7887
      @tonyascott7887 2 роки тому +1

      @@christinemcwaters5186 update?

    • @christinemcwaters5186
      @christinemcwaters5186 2 роки тому +4

      We have gotten steadily closer. We are not back together. I have made many mistakes. We are dating again. We live separate. We have been separated a yr and a half. I think within the next yr to 2 tops we will be back together.

    • @Gbb93
      @Gbb93 Рік тому

      I’ve noticed that with exes that come back, it’s generally the women that have success.

  • @timelesswords6826
    @timelesswords6826 11 місяців тому +1

    At this point you need to avoid social media.. focus on yourself. Stop all the connections on your ex that's it

    • @ClayAndrews
      @ClayAndrews  11 місяців тому +1

      Thanks for sharing your insights. This is definitely appreciated.

  • @Dolphinsz
    @Dolphinsz 5 місяців тому +1

    After she met with her friends
    She has totally changed 😢

    • @tankthearc9875
      @tankthearc9875 4 місяці тому +2

      yep they tell her stay away . smh

  • @EmoJoshSavesTheWorld
    @EmoJoshSavesTheWorld 4 роки тому +7

    My ex pulled back after we had a successful first hangout that resulted in 3 1/2 hours of time together plus dinner. Judging on the interaction it seemed like she was really starting to open up and feel attracted to me again. The next night she posted something along the lines of regret and remembering the smiling faces and happy moments and how they hate feeling that pain. I would pursue more but the problem is she is in a rebound relationship. Her second one, actually. I've confirmed it's a rebound because she couldn't stop talking about her first rebound while we were hanging out as if this new guy meant nothing to her.
    I feel she is purposefully creating distance and clinging to this guy now that she's started getting feelings for me again... not sure how to go about talking to her as she doesn't reply or replies late when she's around him (which has been pretty much all week since the event). I want to try to get her on another "date", since the first one went so well.

    • @SAMEntalhealth
      @SAMEntalhealth 3 роки тому

      You take what's yours.....

    • @SAMEntalhealth
      @SAMEntalhealth 3 роки тому

      I'd say this "So, I understand your situation, I see..... and I do love you, I do....but... I'm not going to chase you, and I'm not going to be there for you after some other guy breaks your heart. I want to move forward with life and growth, you're more than welcomed to come along, in fact I want you to, but I'm not going to chase you. You can make that decision for yourself, and I don't mind waiting, but I'm not waiting forever..... nor am I chasing you

    • @SAMEntalhealth
      @SAMEntalhealth 3 роки тому

      Make sure she knows you're NOT chasing because then she can't toy with you any longer

    • @floramcdonald5524
      @floramcdonald5524 3 роки тому +1

      You really want her back knowing she's dumped you and been banged by other guys? Wake up bro

    • @Gbb93
      @Gbb93 Рік тому

      @@floramcdonald5524for reaaaaal

  • @bailey1493
    @bailey1493 4 роки тому +1

    I asked if he could give me a chance to repair this even as friends... he hasn’t replied.. and I am so sick with worry now that I said something I shouldn’t have.
    He opened up about how he felt so, I thought it would maybe be okay to ask.

    • @bailey1493
      @bailey1493 4 роки тому

      @@eminek8526 It took him a day or two to respond (at the time). I’m the one who wound up telling him I can’t be his friend after all. He was open to it though

  • @deancliffordmauricio7819
    @deancliffordmauricio7819 4 роки тому +2

    hi clay! My ex and I had sex. Is that okay ? And she said that she’s not using me yet not ready to commit. What is that mean? Thank you!

    • @FaydsterTV
      @FaydsterTV 7 місяців тому

      Give it more time to develop. Hope all went well brotha!

  • @Beachbumartist
    @Beachbumartist 2 роки тому

    or maybe they have someone else as well.

  • @droflivelife
    @droflivelife 2 роки тому +1

    She's not open to taking because I tried to hard to save the relationship and she has lost feelings for it. So not sure where to go.

    • @tankthearc9875
      @tankthearc9875 4 місяці тому +2

      no contact

    • @droflivelife
      @droflivelife 4 місяці тому +1

      @tankthearc9875 did no contact, it's been over a year now. Nothing eventuated. I think with an avoidant you have about a week to a month. Then it's all over.

    • @tankthearc9875
      @tankthearc9875 4 місяці тому +1

      @@droflivelife she reached out after 2 months but hot and cold , im playing it very slow but you almost want to give up sometimes

    • @droflivelife
      @droflivelife 4 місяці тому +1

      @tankthearc9875 you can friend zone them and very slowly build back to a relationship if you control your anxious side. I tried and it worked. Took a few months. But sadly mine was avoidant and no matter what, they will trigger again and run.

    • @tankthearc9875
      @tankthearc9875 4 місяці тому

      @@droflivelife yeah i feel ill never be happy with an avoidant person they cant give you what you need

  • @chantehowe7798
    @chantehowe7798 3 роки тому +1

    Maybe they are with someone else

  • @MPR2007
    @MPR2007 Рік тому

    The easiest thing to do to ex is treat em as dead man or at least a phsyco.

  • @QuynhTran-ze1in
    @QuynhTran-ze1in 2 роки тому

    After our first date after 1 month no contact, he said that he missed me and still like me very much but I know that he won't make a move to the reconnection since I'm going to leave 3 months for a vacation. he still reaches out sometimes, he also still responds to my messages, but I am so confused and don't know what should I do. should I just keep him space and talking and wait until I come back from the trip or go silent.

  • @kimora1996
    @kimora1996 4 роки тому +2

    My ex isn’t even wanting to tell me why he decided to pull back... he is just ignoring... what do i do?

    • @ClayAndrews
      @ClayAndrews  4 роки тому +2

      Respect your ex's time and space. I understand that this can be confusing but given that your ex is not responding to you, how would you make use of that space between the two of you to become more productive?

    • @kimora1996
      @kimora1996 4 роки тому +2

      Clay Andrews thank you for replying Mr. Andrews. I was thinking about trying again next Monday, and that if he doesn’t still reply that i would just take a short NC 21 days. I already did 30 days though WITHOUT breaking in any way... it’s a very confusing and hard time right now... i dont even know what to do anymore. I feel like throwing the towel, but then I watched one your videos where you mentioned we cannot just give up when things get hard... so i dont know what to do... what do you suggest?

  • @JM-if9my
    @JM-if9my 4 роки тому +2

    My ex said she wants to be single for awhile to do her own thing. She says we cannot interact because she feels like we are dating again whenever we hang out or talk. I’ve made it very clear that I want to just focus on an emotional connection but it just seems to go over her head. What do I do in this situation?

    • @Jmitez
      @Jmitez 4 роки тому +2

      It’s because she knows you’re lying to her and lying to yourself! You want her and she knows it... try being honest with her and tell her that you understand her, you still have feelings for her, and maybe she’s right! She’ll respect you for it and maybe even possibly be open to talking to you after awhile

    • @ClayAndrews
      @ClayAndrews  4 роки тому +3

      Our ex will always feel that we have an ulterior motive. By applying the things that you have learned in the Advanced Relational Skills, it will help you navigate on the said situation. Have you checked our Ex Solution Program course? It may help you improve your dynamics with her.

  • @jeffreykadriu7565
    @jeffreykadriu7565 2 роки тому

    We dated a Total of 2.5 years.. Ex and I got back together and dated for 15 months it was amazing but the back end was a little rough with random arguments.. we worked together and I think that made things worse… she broke up with me in February of 2022! I went into NC then a week later on Valentine’s Day she reaches out wanting to talk etc.. told her I wasn’t ready.. two weeks later we meet up and talk and it’s good then randomly we mutually started making out.. I went to Europe the next day with my family for 2 weeks! I come back and she’s wanting to hang out but deep down I was confused cause I wanted to give you space.. we had sex a couple of times and it was amazing! She texted me saying That’s why last week was different 😪 idk I feel bad bc I want you to be happy but we gotta move on a little too yk. We can’t just sit in this relationship some more. She’s been texting me a lot since I got back from Spain..I’m confused because she also invited me late December for a cruise for her bday and wanted to share a room! And in January I’m going to Italy for culinary school and she said she wants to visit me .. now she’s like I wanna be friends and take it slow… any idea ?

  • @shikhadrimahanta7193
    @shikhadrimahanta7193 3 роки тому

    Hie Clay. What should I do when he pulls away right when we started connecting better and doesn't contact me..? N I didn't do anything wrong this time, we were really good to each and he suddenly stopped

    • @michealatete6823
      @michealatete6823 3 роки тому

      Hello friend do you need help to get your ex back

    • @michealatete6823
      @michealatete6823 3 роки тому

      Hope not lost I know of a man who will help you bring back your ex

  • @졔-c5o
    @졔-c5o 4 роки тому

    He pulled me away again We are in No contact again since he wants to not contact each other so that both of us move on.. The reason why he pulled me away is the doubt about our relationship in his mind is so strong It's been more than a week to do NC and when I contact him for the last time, he was so cold.. Should I just keep NC again or should I contact him again?

    • @ClayAndrews
      @ClayAndrews  4 роки тому +2

      Hi Katie, I'm sorry to hear about that. Since your ex expressed his intent not to contact each other, that is something that you have to respect. So that you won't be pushing his walls up. This is the type of situation where acceptance has to be put into use.

  • @Jmitez
    @Jmitez 4 роки тому +1

    Clay, I tried getting my ex on a phone call to catch up and she told me that she felt like I had ulterior motives and she just wanted to be friends. Even though she is correct, I want her and I want to be with her, I told her that friends should still be able to talk on the phone? Then I asked her if she truly didn’t want to talk anymore like we used to and she said yes! It honestly hurt. After that I haven’t reached out or anything but I’m honestly wondering what you would do from here?

    • @dylanjohn430
      @dylanjohn430 4 роки тому +3

      This happened to me way back, here’s my insight just to help you out.
      Since she knows you had ulterior motives, her mindset has to change. But she lied when she said “she truly didn’t want to talk anymore” since it was a phone call it’s easy for her to say that versus in-person. It’s not over but don’t have hope you can try asking again and this time if she says no, just say okay well lmk if you change your mind instead of forcing her or pleading with her, it shows to her you’re desperate. Def wait for her to reach out to you, she def has the control over you tho bro with the friends thing. Since you want her romantically, try to meet up with her and if she brings up friendship just deny her offer of being friends with her and walk away. When you walk away it shows her that you’re strong and she’ll feel a renewed sense of respect for you which will cause her to be attracted by you. And that you don’t need her, she knows you don’t wanna be friends and you’re just saying that to be with her. If you accept her offer she’ll lose all respect and she’ll just have you wrapped around her finger. Trust me just walk away and once she hits you up make a date at your place and hook up afterwards. She’s gotta come to you since she reached out. You got this bro!

    • @Jmitez
      @Jmitez 4 роки тому +1

      Josh Jacobs I think you’re right! I will wait until she reaches out and bring it up again... if she refuses I’ll tell her to lmk if she changes her mind.
      The thing is we’ve been on and off more than twice already! I’ve done the whole “I don’t want to be friends” thing and it did work for awhile, she came back but in the long run she just ended up giving up on the relationship! So I can’t play that card anymore , unless I really mean it, she’ll see right through it!

    • @ClayAndrews
      @ClayAndrews  4 роки тому +2

      Hi there, That is to say that you both feel that you need to be guarded against one another. In order to have a successful relationship or even connection, we're going to need to work on this and get the two of you playing on the same team, with the same goals and vision for yourselves.

    • @tonyfisher7571
      @tonyfisher7571 4 роки тому

      lmao. let her go

    • @dylanjohn430
      @dylanjohn430 4 роки тому

      Jmitez if she came back and the gave up she’s clearly not giving the same effort, so she lost her interest along the way meaning you did something to turn her off. Since she ended it tho it’s up to her so you have to stop all pursuing and no contact which includes all social media like Snapchat. If you do that she’ll miss you and will come back

  • @zeinabalasady
    @zeinabalasady 3 роки тому

    Hey my ex came back after 5 months of no contact and he was begging and pleading but i kept the convos light and fun then he started coming on too strong i told him you're coimg in too strong then he started texting my every three days which is good..but on new year eve he wished me a happy new year at 12:05 am and I didn't feel like responding to him immediately so i waited 4 hours to reply and since then he never texted me although he was really into me ..what does that mean tho?

    • @GTAracingUK
      @GTAracingUK 3 роки тому

      sounds like you got cold on him sintead. he wanted to fix what was broken but you made him wait too long. he probably looked elsewhere

    • @michealatete6823
      @michealatete6823 3 роки тому

      Hello friend do you need help to get your ex back

    • @michealatete6823
      @michealatete6823 3 роки тому

      Hope not lost I know of a man who will help you bring back your ex

  • @jeneishahernandez
    @jeneishahernandez 3 роки тому

    I contacted my ex best friend and he told me my ex has a baby and a wife now. My ex said it wasn’t true and I shouldn’t believe anyone. He tried calling me but I missed his calls.
    Now when I try to call no answer. I’m feeling as though it’s true. Why would his best friend lie on him? His best friend was drunk and also told me my boyfriend isn’t a real friend so that’s why he did it. I just don’t know.
    He’s ignoring me and I’m hurt because I am suppose to be the one angry yet I’m reaching out. Is it he’s guilty and hiding it?
    I don’t know if he’s my ex or if we’re together because he keeps saying he loves me but allow him to miss me. That is crap. It has been 11 months I was away and 5 months now I’m back and he refuse to come home.
    He has the keys to the house and has my dog. What should I do?
    I’m tired.

    • @ClayAndrews
      @ClayAndrews  3 роки тому +1

      Hi Jeneisha, we understand that this must be hard for you emotionally. We hope you are holding on well and hope you'll find time to work on your healing. At the same time, processing your own emotions. Yes, these may be confusing times for you. For now, what are the top 3 things that you have in mind that you wanted to focus on?

    • @jeneishahernandez
      @jeneishahernandez 3 роки тому

      @@ClayAndrews thanks for replying. I’m having a very hard time focusing on anything. I started doing my businesses and with the help of him it was going smooth.
      Now I need him to finish sign some documents and he’s avoiding such. It’s a tough one to say I have three things to focus on when majority falls back in his lap with documents.

    • @ClayAndrews
      @ClayAndrews  3 роки тому +1

      Your personal life should be separated from your professional life. Do you have somebody whom you can trust from your small business who might coordinate the documents with him?

    • @michelle.m3741
      @michelle.m3741 3 роки тому

      Hi Clay, my ex says he doesn't have feelings for me and doesn't see a future together after we had a couple dates together. I was being a bit needy as he definitely pulled back before telling me this. He's still willing to hangout a bit more to see .. what should I do to bring him closer to me ?

  • @bennyblanco6704
    @bennyblanco6704 3 роки тому

    Hi coach I'm sleeping with my ex every week once a week . The problem I get is everytime after we sleep together the next day she goes cold or says she's tired or busy what should I do we do communicate everyday through text but she usually answers with short messages?

    • @bennyblanco6704
      @bennyblanco6704 3 роки тому

      She also never talks on the phone with me it's always text even when we were together she never was much a phone talker

    • @yellanovella8019
      @yellanovella8019 3 роки тому +1

      You need to stop sleeping with her. As a girl I know a lot of the time girls sleep with their ex because they are comfortable to do so and for pleasure , if she meet someone new and is not only physically attracted but also emotionally feels like they are better than you she will leave and stop having sex with you. Stop having sec with her and focus on improving things about yourself that she will find attractive . She will not only miss the sex but also desire to be with the new and improved version of yourself

    • @bennyblanco6704
      @bennyblanco6704 3 роки тому +1

      @@yellanovella8019 thanks for the advice I appreciate it . It's easier said than done but I agree I should stop having sex with her the only reason it's hard to deny her I love her to be honest but I deserve better ur right I'm going to try my best thank u

    • @JPression
      @JPression 3 роки тому +1

      @@bennyblanco6704 Update?

    • @bennyblanco6704
      @bennyblanco6704 3 роки тому

      @@JPression still hooking up with her just saw her Sunday no commitment yet 🤷

  • @rebeccajohnson5658
    @rebeccajohnson5658 4 роки тому

    What about love and hate for you and pull back?

    • @ClayAndrews
      @ClayAndrews  4 роки тому +1

      You can check our podcast about pull back over here >>> www.lovetalkfm.com/lt030-why-your-ex-pulls-back-after-positive-interactions/

  • @JK-ni7gp
    @JK-ni7gp 3 роки тому

    Powerful

    • @michealatete6823
      @michealatete6823 3 роки тому

      Hello friend do you need help to get your ex back

    • @michealatete6823
      @michealatete6823 3 роки тому

      Hope not lost I know of a man who will help you bring back your ex

  • @feljm728
    @feljm728 3 роки тому

    My ex become mean and distant after getting close. What should I do

    • @ClayAndrews
      @ClayAndrews  3 роки тому +2

      Give your ex the needed time and space if she pull back.

    • @JK-ni7gp
      @JK-ni7gp 3 роки тому

      Move on

    • @michealatete6823
      @michealatete6823 3 роки тому

      Hello friend do you need help to get your ex back

    • @michealatete6823
      @michealatete6823 3 роки тому

      Hope not lost I know of a man who will help you bring back your ex

    • @jennifertaylor9864
      @jennifertaylor9864 2 роки тому

      @@ClayAndrews I've said this before & I'll say it again, you're such a gift to your broken hearted subscribers.

  • @alexromero1106
    @alexromero1106 3 роки тому +3

    My ex and I have been talking for months now after being in no contact. Little by little we have been doing well. We went from just texting every 5 hours a day to texting within the hour now. Phone calls and face time. She would give me compliments when I send her selfies and vice versa. I felt as if things were heading down the right path. Then recently she hung out with her best friend for the whole weekend out of state and ever since then I felt her replies have been very dry and distant. I try to keep the conversation going but she just seems to brush over things and only responds to what she wants to. She is definitely still replying back very quickly so I know she makes time to talk to me but I just want to know why she is being so dry now

    • @JPression
      @JPression 3 роки тому +1

      Did you get her back?

    • @alexromero1106
      @alexromero1106 3 роки тому +3

      @@JPression yeah we’re basically back. Taking it slow but back. There was alot of push and pull from her at first because she was scared to jump back in but I just let my new and improved self shine and that did all the work.

    • @noelcorlett4893
      @noelcorlett4893 2 роки тому +1

      How long did the push and pull last and did she go silent on ya during this period? Mine's driving me nuts slept together five days in a row awome talks etc now says we need to slow down no text or calls etc thanks

    • @alexromero1106
      @alexromero1106 2 роки тому +2

      @@noelcorlett4893 It still happens on occasion when she gets stressed tbh but things eventually go back to normal. Mine was the same way. We decided on only being friends with benefits and slowly it turned to more on its own. She realized we were moving very fast and kept threatening to go MIA on me multiple times but never went through with it. In fact it triggers her when I don’t respond back to her for a while and she is consistently spending the night at my place, almost like we live together again. So my advice is just go with the flow and give her that space if she needs it. If you give an ultimatum she’s most likely not choosing the option you want at that point so just allow her her personal time but also don’t let her walk all over you. Stay firm and make it clear in a way that won’t push her away that she can also lose you.

    • @noelcorlett4893
      @noelcorlett4893 2 роки тому

      Thanks for replying man much appreciated haven't spoke to her in three days now it's killing me I stayed at her house last week she stayed here week before now won't even text or call 😌giving her space Hope it works

  • @jumanashkukani3344
    @jumanashkukani3344 3 роки тому

    Hi ,me and ex went to contact again and he was responsive and keeping things very light but not yet strong as i wanted to, one night i panicked feeling he is in contact with a new girl and confronted him and asked him not to contact me again, now i bit regret it as i overanalysed things as i thought he onlg wanted to keep me as an option, what can i do now, shall contact him again after i asked him not to contact me ?

  • @tonyfisher7571
    @tonyfisher7571 4 роки тому +3

    let her go. anyone willing to walk out on you. let them go. they never had your back anyways. find some roots and let them leaves fall and fly out your life.

  • @nyeonii
    @nyeonii 3 роки тому

    She pulled away again after we spent time together and talked for like 2 weeks. I hope it’s a positive pullback because when we were talking she mentioned that she sometimes wants to just ask me to get back together because she misses the good times we had but it’s not for the right reasons. But I get worried sometimes that she won’t reach out again and she’s gone for good. It’s only been like 2 months and we’ve been talking on and off but I love her so much and I’m willing to work on the problems we had and the things I did wrong. But it seems like she is too busy to worry about a relationship right now. She seems confused and maybe there is still too much pain from our relationship to connect right now. Still, I am trying so hard to focus on my own life and be patient.